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“Love is the Answer”

I have an aunt through marriage to my uncle for probably 50 years now who just lost her 96-year-old mother. I debated whether or not to call her immediately or to give her time to mourn. Or maybe it was avoidance, not knowing what to say. I called, nevertheless, and she was in good spirits, telling me how she’d just seen her mother about two months ago, and there was no sign that her mother would soon pass. She laughed at herself when she told me when she received the call telling her that her mother was making her transition, she asked, “Where’s she going?”

She initiated a conversation about politics and race, so I just went with it. What struck me at some point was that in the midst of her grief, she said, “You can’t accomplish anything with hate.”

In these times when it’s so easy to feel contempt towards others for their blatant misconduct, it took a mourning daughter to remind me of the power of love. That is a tribute to her mother’s legacy.

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“Be Kind”

Made my 81-year-old neighbor some Epsom salt scrub. I’m always concocting and sharing with her, though as a Jamaican elder, I’m sure she can run circles around my mojo.

She recently told me that about 30-40 years ago, she was in a car accident where her left foot was ripped from her body and was sewn back on poorly by a country doctor. Later, it had to be removed and put back on by a better doctor. As a result of the injury, she lost the flexibility in her left foot, which led to an imbalance, which later led to knee and hip replacement. You wouldn’t know what she’s gone through based on her smile and strength.

Count your blessings if you never lost a foot only to lose it again only to have it replaced only to have it to impact your whole body. Be kind to one another.

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instagram | mangelka

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Page 28, from my second book, Poems That Lose” available everywhere books and ebooks are sold including amazon, barnes and noble, chapters, etc.

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“Every reader, as he reads, is actually the reader of himself. The writer’s work is only a kind of optical instrument he provides the reader so he can discern what he might never have seen in himself without this book. The reader’s recognition in himself of what the book says is the proof of the book’s truth.”

— Marcel Proust, Time Regained

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Norma Merrick Sklarek (1926-2012) was one of the first black women to become a licensed architect in the United States. Nicknamed the “Rosa Parks of Architecture”, she was the first black female architect in the states of New York and later California.

She received her degree from Columbia University School of Architecture in 1950, graduating as one of only two female students. In 1980, she was the first black woman elected as a fellow of the American Institute of Architects.

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I’m trying to start blogging again. I haven’t posted since 2018, though I continue to write compulsively. Did they remove the quote feature? Hmm

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Stupendous

Absolutely stupendous—rose

Photo by Jan Bond

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Her Arms

As she walked towards me, I noticed her hair with envy and thought I’d try styling mine like that one day. And she was working that lemon yellow top. How did she know my favorite lip color?  Then I noticed how tightly her arms were wrapped around her, so tight it seemed she was in a defensive mode instead of casually entering a store. I wondered what could have happened to her. I searched her further, and that’s when I saw them; they were huddled together on the side of her neck, her face. One was even on her back that measured the size of a small mouse. Keloids were everywhere. And even though she was beautiful, her arms told the story of an unkind world.

~laRose

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Yellow Dock

I was dragging, so I reached in the cabinet for some liquid iron I remembered I had. I decided to read the label and discovered it has yellow dock in it, so it got me to wondering. According to VeryWellHealth, “yellow dock is thought to benefit the digestive tract, #liver, and skin and inflamed nasal passages. One of its primary uses by herbalists is for skin conditions associated with poor #digestion, poor liver function, or toxicity.” According to WebMed, “the leaf stalks are used in salads. The root and fruits are used as medicine. Yellow dock is used for pain and swelling (#inflammation) of nasal passages and the respiratory tract and as a laxative and tonic. It is also used to treat bacterial infections and sexually transmitted diseases.” Image via Google via Urbol

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Broken

We are as close as two broken people will ever be.  And I have always “suspected” that she had been sexually molested as a child.  But today was as close as she’s ever come to an “admission” that my conclusions are accurate. Of course, she is in no way obligated to share her story, and today I told her I don’t like when people use the word “courage” in connection with sharing their stories.  I told her how happy I was that the MeToo movement and the recent SCOTUS hearings pertaining to sexual assault have caused many women and men to come forward.  True to form, she said it’s causing many to not tell their stories.  That’s how she is.  Sadly, so many of her life decisions are based on fear. This fear could be connected to her experiences.  Today, she told me that she had told someone something “minor” that had happened, and they’d told her that she must be mistaken, and this caused her to withdraw to her silence.  I told her I understood.  I did not push her. Instead, I shared with her my worst story that I’d never shared with her nor anyone else, though I suspect it doesn’t compare to what she continues to hide out of shame and guilt.  She told me she has stories she plans to take to her grave. I don’t want that for her, but I know that it’s no good to try to push her to share before she’s ready, so we’ll continue with our relationship, pretending something that happened between her as a child and someone else I suspect I loved and trusted never happened. ~laRose

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‪“I believed that if I came forward, my single voice would be drowned out by a chorus of powerful supporters.” ‬‪~Christine Blasey Ford‬

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Beauty

A bit of beauty surrounds a tree.

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Blackberries

Anyone who knows me knows I've spent a lifetime trying to duplicate the flavor of my grandmother's blackberry preserves. I can't say why, but I have one vivid memory of picking blackberries. Now that I'm older, I know it was not the act of picking the berries but what my grandmother did with them once they were picked that left such an indelible impression on me. During one of my many laments, someone advised me it is the source of the berries that makes the difference. A lightbulb came on, and I was able to surrender to the idea that I will never taste that unique flavor again unless I return to the land.

According to BBC Good Food, “Blackberries contain a wide array of important nutrients including potassium, magnesium and calcium, as well as vitamins A, C, E and most of our B vitamins. They are also a rich source of anthocyanins, powerful antioxidants that give blackberries their deep purple colour.”

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That Space

I know what some of y’all are thinking—what an uneventful creature! That one’s no peacock, for sure. But you know that space behind the stores in a shopping center? You know the space I’m talking about—the space where only delivery trucks, garbage trucks, and drivers trying to bypass the system go after they lock all their doors just in case there really is a boogeyman. The space that some of us have only witnessed from a distance through the front windshields of our cars. Or perhaps we stood at one end of it and looked all the way to the other end but dared not take the journey. This desolate space most would never walk alone—nor with someone—day or night. Yeah, that space. Well, that’s where I found her, completely alone, still standing strong.

~laRose

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White Verbena

©twilightsolo-photography // Instagram // Print Shop

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Moon

12 years ago at the Humane Society I met a gentle companion for my 9-year-old son. She rarely sits for photos, but he recently caught her chillin’. Moon and I are not besties, but I am forever indebted to her for loving my child and allowing him to love her.

~laRose

9/20/2018