lilacsjournal

[lilacsjournal]

My dearest…

roses are red

violets are blue

that poem was shit

but I still loved you

with everything that I had,

you were all that i knew

sometimes I have to ask

if you really loved me too

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did you ever really love me at all?

[lilacsjournal]

Perhaps the World Ends Here, Joy Harjo

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in another universe, it’s early morning and I’m baking in my quiet little cottage in the country, without worry.

[lilacsjournal]

dichotomy

two sides of the same coin,

I’m the tired hero, only exhaustion left after the fight

I’m the villain desperate for redemption, careful that everything I do is right

I’m the one left behind, I’m the one who left

I’m wrong, I’m right

I’m good, I’m evil

Is it really black and white?

I’m smart, I’m dumb

I’m weak, I’m strong

am I a monster, or am I human?

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still not over heartless 💔

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free for a moment

if I can picture in my head, just for a second, let me imagine

running through the falling snow, sky a deep indigo, my ball gown flowing behind me

bunching the skirt up so I don’t trip on the tulle and the lace, my boots crunching beneath me

and I’m free

I’m free

just for a moment, running from everything that pains me

only the biting cold and sore feet

just for the moment,

I’m free.

[lilacsjournal]

my everything

you were my everything, we were my destination. I was just a train stop to you; before you left for better things. I thought we were leaving together, but I guess I was mistaken. I was a moment for you, and you were my everything.

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beast

put a monster in front of me

I’ll watch it snarl, bare its teeth

I know, I know to run

I know deep down inside of me

but what if I just

put my hand out?

tell it, with my eyes,

“I understand”

I understand, it doesn’t work like that

but what if, it doesn’t bite me now?

part of me thinks,

I can tame with one look, one look and it’ll see

it’ll know, it’ll know

and it won’t bite me

one look and I

can tame a beast.

[lilacsjournal]

all everyone yearns for is to be free

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guys this is your friendly reminder to comment on ao3 fics, from a commenter myself. the amount of times authors reply to me saying ive made their day with my comments is honestly insane; and with the way their replies make my day too, its really a win win situation for everybody

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sorry to the one I made feel like this.

Just Playing

When the playful flirting goes to far, And I slowly fall for you, Now everytime I see your face, All I think about, Is how fucking beatiful you are. It kills me. I know I shouldn't like you. But I do. Even if it's not mutual.

[lilacsjournal]

To everyone I’ve ever met,

Yes. I still think of you sometimes.

[lilacsjournal]

[lilacsjournal]

love.

Do you know what it’s like? To be so burningly, intensely, devastatingly in love?

To want to scream when you see the one you love speaking to someone else, someone who makes their eyes shine like the sun. To want to cry just remembering how they could never love you back. To want to grab them by the shoulders and shake them hard, smack some sense into them, just yell and yell and yell at them how much you love them, just what you would do for them, just how much you want and need them.

To stop yourself from reaching towards them. To think about them day and night. To wait and wait and wait for them to love you back, even though you know damn well it won’t happen. To feel a burning pain in your chest every time they’re around because loving them hurts in a way you can’t even comprehend.

Well…

I don’t.