lillysfiles

[lillysfiles]

How I feel after crying over a literal x reader fanfic

[lillysfiles]

images are not mine! icons are from pinterest :)

[lillysfiles]

AU where mc the night before her first day of 5th year (or age them up), she is at the three broomsticks nervous for her first day at Hogwarts. She ends up having to what she assumes is a one night stand with just another guy in Hogsmeade (he wasn’t wearing a robe so he HAD to be someone just passing through, right?). Only to find the next day, before the sorting ceremony, that the very same man is sitting at the slytherin table. And he will refuse to let her live it down, especially where they had shared intimate moments beyond sex (something he never did).

Unforeseen Attachments | Sebastian Sallow x Reader

Words: ~6,900

Tags: Implied Smut, Reader Insert, Female MC, No Y/N, Fluff, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Romance

The Three Broomsticks was warm, loud, and filled with the scent of butterbeer and spice. You had chosen it for a reason: to calm your nerves. Tomorrow, you’d finally be setting foot inside Hogwarts for the first time, starting your seventh year at a school that, until this past year, you never even knew existed. You were a newly minted witch, arriving at the very end of your academic career.

You had told yourself you weren’t nervous, but then you had downed two drinks too many, and when a smooth voice asked if the seat beside you was taken, you didn’t hesitate before saying no.

He wasn’t in robes. That was the first thing you noticed. Just dark jeans and a snug sweater. His hair was a tousled mess, his sharp features and freckles accentuated by the dim candlelight, and when he smirked at you, it was the kind of smile that promised trouble.

"New to town?"

"That obvious?" you had replied, eyeing him cautiously.

He chuckled, leaning his elbow on the bar as he studied you. “Just a little.” His voice was smooth, confident—too confident. “You’re drinking like someone trying to forget something. Or maybe trying to work up the courage for something.” His gaze flicked to your mostly empty glass, then back to you. “Which is it?”

You huffed a laugh, swirling the last bit of liquid in your glass. “Both, maybe.”

His smirk widened. “Tell me more.”

You hesitated, but something about him—the way he leaned in like he actually cared about the answer—made you let your guard down, just a little.

“I start at Hogwarts tomorrow,” you admitted, exhaling sharply. “Seventh year. Transfer student.”

For a moment, you thought you saw something flicker across his expression. But then he grinned, and it was gone, replaced by something playful. “Bit late to be jumping in, isn’t it?”

“Tell me about it.”

“Well, you’re in luck,” he said, gesturing between you. “I happen to be an expert on Hogwarts.”

You snorted. “Oh? Let me guess—alumni?”

He tilted his head, considering. “Something like that.”

He bought you another drink.

Then another.

By the time you reached your third, the nerves that had kept you rigid all night had melted away, replaced by the comfortable haze of alcohol and the easy pull of conversation with the stranger beside you. He was annoyingly charming, quick-witted in a way that made it impossible not to banter with him, and when he laughed—really laughed—it was warm and rich, something that made your stomach twist in a way that had nothing to do with the firewhiskey.

At some point, his arm had draped over the back of your chair, the tips of his fingers occasionally brushing your shoulder, each touch a ghost of something deliberate. It made your skin tingle, made your breath catch just slightly, but you never pulled away.

And then neither of you were talking.

You were just looking at each other, the din of the Three Broomsticks fading into the background, the flickering candlelight making the gold in his eyes gleam, his pupils blown wide beneath thick lashes.

He smirked. A lazy, confident thing. And then, he kissed you.

He kissed you like he had already decided you were his the moment he sat down beside you, like he had been waiting for this moment the entire night.

He tasted like firewhiskey and cinnamon, sharp and warm, laced with something decadent and dangerous.

A low sound rumbled in his throat when you kissed him back, fingers curling around the front of his sweater as he dragged you closer, his hands slipping down your waist like he had no intention of letting go.

He nipped at your lower lip and sighed when you let him in, and when his tongue brushed against yours, slow, teasing, entirely in control, your resolve crumbled.

“Where?” you murmured against his lips.

His lips curved against yours into something satisfied. Something certain.

"Upstairs.”

The room smelled of sweat and heat and something unmistakably him. The sheets were tangled around your legs, sticking to your skin, still damp from the mess the two of you had made of each other. Your body was wrecked; thoroughly, deliciously spent in a way that left your limbs feeling like lead, the faintest tremor still lingering in your thighs.

You stared at the ceiling, pulse still hammering in your ears.

You never knew sex could feel like this. It was as if he had known you forever, as if the moment his hands met your skin, he was simply retracing familiar paths. Like in some past life, he had already learned every sound you make, already mastered the art of unraveling you.

Your breath hitched as a phantom sensation rippled through you—the memory of his mouth on your skin, the way he had taken his time, the way he had watched you, dragging it out until you were begging for him. He had been so unbearably confident in the way he touched you, in the way he held you, like he already knew how you were going to fall apart before you did.

You turned your head slightly, eyes trailing to the half-open bathroom door. The sound of running water filled the space, soft splashes as he washed up, and you stared up at the ceiling, the memory of him under the soft candlelight flashing through your mind.

You had known he was handsome. That had been obvious from the first moment he sat down beside you at the bar, but seeing him—truly seeing him—without the barriers of clothing in the way?

Holy. Fuck.

He wasn’t sculpted like some vain, preened gym rat, nor was he delicate and lean like a pureblood aristocrat bred for appearances.

No.

He was broad-shouldered and powerful, all tanned skin and freckles, his strength was earned, not ornamental—the kind built from use rather than mindless training. Muscle softened just enough to feel real, warm, solid.

And then his hands.

Calloused, experienced, fingers that had gripped your waist so tightly you were sure there would be bruises. Hands that had held you down, teased you, ruined you, and then softened just enough when you gasped for breath, like he had needed you to be okay before he kept going.

The memory made heat pool in your stomach again, and you clenched your thighs together, mortified at yourself. You had never reacted like this to someone before. You had never wanted someone again so soon after already being ruined by them.

Your breath caught as you heard the water shut off. A second later, the door creaked open.

And then he was there.

Standing in the doorway, looking like sin incarnate, toweling off his damp curls, still gloriously bare. He wasn’t even looking at you yet, just running the towel over his hair, muscles flexing with the movement, slow and unhurried.

Then he glanced up, and smirked.

"Still here, hm? And here I was, thinking you’d just sneak out while I was in the loo.”

You should have. You really should have. But—

"I can't walk yet," you muttered.

“Oh?” He tossed the towel onto a nearby chair, taking a slow step forward, utterly unbothered by the fact he was still completely bloody naked.

He padded over to the bed, moving with that same effortless grace he had when he’d pinned you down and—

You shut down that thought immediately, heart lurching as he sank onto the mattress beside you.

Because this... this wasn’t how a one-night stand was supposed to go.

He should have been getting dressed, flashing you that lazy, self-satisfied smirk before making some teasing remark about how fun it had been. You should have been making an excuse to leave, pretending like your legs weren’t still trembling, like your skin wasn’t still buzzing with the memory of his hands.

You weren’t supposed to feel attached.

But fuck. How could you not? How could you go back to anything else after this? How could you let someone else touch you, kiss you, have you when he had already set a standard that no one else could ever reach?

You swallowed hard, shifting slightly under the sheets, only to feel the telltale ache between your legs—a reminder of exactly what he had done to you.

He must have caught something in your expression because he smirked again. “Regretting it already?”

Your mouth opened, a retort on your tongue, but the words never came.

Because you weren’t.

You weren’t regretting a single thing. And maybe that was the most terrifying part.

So you turned your face toward the ceiling, exhaling sharply. “You do this often?”

He let out a soft huff of laughter, leaning back into the pillows beside you. "Sort of."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He folded his arms behind his head, ignoring your question. "What about you? You do this often?"

You wet your lips, gaze flicking between him and the ceiling. "I wouldn't say 'often', but... sometimes, I guess."

There was a beat of silence. The kind that stretched just long enough to feel heavy, not quite comfortable, not quite awkward.

He let out a slow breath. “So,” he said, voice low, casual, but too casual. Like he was about to pry.

You turned your head slightly to glance at him. “So?”

His brown eyes flicked to you. “Why now?”

Your brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“You said you’re a transfer,” he mused. “Seventh year. That doesn’t happen often. So, why now?”

You exhaled sharply, fingers tightening slightly in the sheets. It was an innocent question—maybe. But it still felt like he had reached into your chest and prodded at something raw.

“It’s… complicated,” you said eventually.

He hummed, unconvinced. “I’ve got time.”

You sighed. “Okay, well... long story short, I only just got my magic.”

“What?”

“I wasn’t raised in the magical world,” you explained. “Didn’t even know it existed until this year. Thought I was just some ordinary Muggle with an ordinary life. Then—” You hesitated. “Then things changed.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment. His gaze burned against the side of your face, but when he spoke again, his voice was softer.

“Bloody hell.”

That made you snort. “That’s one way to put it.”

“No, I mean… That’s insane. That almost never happens.”

“Yeah, well, here I am."

He let out a soft laugh. “So, let me guess. The Ministry found you, whisked you off, and now you’re here, trying to cram seven years of magical education into one?”

“Something like that."

He shook his head, whistling low. “No wonder you were drinking like a condemned woman.”

“I wasn’t that bad.”

“You were two sips away from talking to the fireplace.”

“Liar.”

He chuckled, stretching slightly. “So, what do you think of it so far?”

“What?”

“The wizarding world.” He propped himself up on one elbow, his freckled face half-illuminated by the candlelight. “Now that you’re part of it.”

You hesitated. “It’s… a lot.”

He huffed. “Sounds like an understatement.”

You turned your head to meet his gaze. “It’s like stepping into a completely different reality. I spent years thinking I knew how the world worked, and now... Now, I have to relearn everything.”

His smirk faded slightly. “That’s got to be terrifying.”

You hummed in contemplation. Because yes, it was. It was terrifying in a way you could barely put into words. But it was also exhilarating.

You shifted slightly beneath the sheets. "It's scary," you told him honestly. "But it's exciting too… like what if this is where I was always meant to be?"

He studied you for a moment, his expression softening into something thoughtful.

“I think it is,” he said, and somehow it didn’t feel like a simple reassurance. It felt like certainty. And for some reason, that made your chest ache.

You turned onto your side, facing him, searching his expression. He was still propped up on one elbow, his messy curls falling over his forehead, freckles scattered over his nose and cheekbones. He looked so… casual. At ease. As if lying naked in a rented bed, talking about your deepest secrets, was just something he did all the time.

“What about you?” you asked, tilting your head.

He arched a brow. “What about me?”

“How’d you end up at Hogwarts?”

He huffed a laugh. “Oh, you know,” he said airily, “the usual. Grew up in the magical world. Got my letter at 11. Sorted into Slytherin. Got into loads of trouble. Almost expelled—twice. That sort of thing.”

You smirked. “Trouble, huh?”

“Oh, loads.”

“What kind of trouble?”

He grinned, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. “All kinds. Let’s just say I have a knack for bending the rules.”

You snorted. "Not very specific."

He turned onto his side to face you again. His smirk lingered, but there was something unreadable beneath it, something just slightly off.

"Mostly I'd get in shit for sneaking off places I shouldn't."

You arched a brow. “Like where?”

He smirked, but it was a little too sharp. “Oh, you know… the Restricted Section. Cursed catacombs. The occasional abandoned ruin.”

You let out a huff of laughter. “Sounds like you were more of a treasure hunter than a student.”

He stretched, rolling onto his back again. “Something like that.”

His voice was light, but for all the teasing, all the flirting, there was something about him that felt heavy. Like there were things he wasn’t saying.

You turned onto your stomach, resting your chin on your arms. “You still do that?”

He glanced at you. “Do what?”

“Go looking for things you shouldn’t?”

He didn’t answer immediately. His fingers traced absent patterns into the sheets, expression thoughtful. Then—

“Not as much anymore.”

You frowned. “Why not?”

“Lost my motivation, I suppose.”

"And your motivation was...?"

His dark eyes flicked to you, something unreadable lurking behind them, stormy and distant in a way that made your stomach tighten.

"My sister was sick."

The room instantly felt smaller.

You hadn't expected that.

His voice was calm, almost too even, like he was reciting a fact instead of something that had unraveled his life. His fingers still traced idle shapes into the sheets, though you suspected now it was more about keeping his hands busy than anything else.

"Was?" You asked.

His fingers stilled.

"She still is. But we... don't talk anymore."

He didn’t look at you, his gaze fixed somewhere on the ceiling, jaw set just tight enough to reveal the tension there.

Your throat tightened. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah. Me too."

The silence between you stretched, heavy with things left unsaid.

His gaze remained locked on the ceiling, jaw set, fingers curled slightly in the sheets, and you shouldn’t have cared that he looked so broken. You had no reason to care. This was supposed to be nothing. A one-night distraction. A mistake that would be left behind in the morning.

So why... Why were you scooting closer? Why was your hand reaching out before you could even stop yourself?

Before you knew it, you had pressed yourself into his side, curling against him without thinking, your fingers brushing along his arm, your lips pressing the softest, faintest kiss to his temple.

He tensed, and for a brief, terrible second, you thought he might pull away. That he might make some biting remark, twist this moment into something easy so he wouldn’t have to feel it. But then, he exhaled and his shoulders slumped, the tension in his body easing just slightly.

You didn’t say anything. You just stayed there, forehead brushing against the side of his face, fingers resting lightly over his stomach.

His hand came up slowly, hesitating just for a moment before he curled his fingers over yours.

You weren’t sure how long you lay there like that, holding him. And you didn’t know what had come over you. Where had this protectiveness come from? This strange, overwhelming fondness for a man you had known for mere hours?

This was supposed to be nothing.

But it didn’t feel like nothing.

Not when he let you stay close. Not when his fingers held onto yours just a little bit tighter, as if he needed it.

The realization made something in your chest ache.

And maybe that was why, after everything, after you had given him your body, after you had laid yourselves bare in ways that weren’t just physical—

You finally gave him your name. Softly. Just above a whisper.

He blinked, turning his head slightly to face you, brow raising just a fraction. Then he smiled, soft and genuine. He squeezed your fingers lightly, and for the first time since you had met him, he said, “Sebastian.”

The name settled over you like a spell.

Sebastian.

The bed was empty when you woke.

Sebastian was gone.

Your stomach twisted with hurt, an irrational, stupid sort of hurt that you immediately tried to shake off.

He had no obligation to stay. No promise had been made, no expectation set.

Still, as you ran a hand over the empty space beside you, the sheets cold to the touch, something in your chest tightened.

You let out a sharp exhale, trying to will it away. You knew better than this.

But then you saw it. A slip of parchment, folded neatly and left on the pillow beside you.

You swallowed hard, pulse picking up as you reached for it, unfolding the note with slightly unsteady hands.

The writing was neat, precise, slanted just slightly to the right. You read the words once. Then twice. Then three times.

I had places to be. Didn’t want to wake you—figured you needed the sleep after last night. Try not to miss me too much. See you soon. —Sebastian

See you soon? How? How could he possibly see you soon? It wasn’t like he had left a way to contact him—no address, no floo network connection, not even a vague mention of when he’d be passing through Hogsmeade again.

Just see you soon.

Your chest ached, but you ignored it. It was probably just his way of letting you down easily, a casual farewell to smooth over the edges of what was supposed to be a one-night stand.

Maybe this experience would just… live in your mind. One reckless, beautiful, unforgettable night with a stranger. One that would never happen again.

You exhaled sharply, rubbing a hand over your face. You needed to move. You had things to do.

The day passed in a blur of quiet errands.

You spent the morning collecting your school supplies—robes, books, parchment, quills. You took your time browsing through Tomes & Scrolls, running your fingers along the spines of textbooks that still felt foreign to you.

You didn’t know why, but you felt restless. Like something was unfinished. Like there was something you were waiting for.

You pushed the thought away and kept moving.

By the time evening rolled around, you were exhausted, and yet, the nerves had settled in your stomach once more.

The Sorting Ceremony.

Tonight, you would officially become a student of Hogwarts. You didn’t know what house you’d end up in, but you weren’t even sure if you cared. You just wanted to belong.

The moment you stepped into Hogwarts castle, you felt small.

The corridors stretched impossibly high, the ancient stone whispering with centuries of history. The flickering torchlight cast moving shadows along the walls, the very air humming with magic.

By the time you reached the entrance to the Great Hall, following closely behind Professor Weasley, your heart was hammering.

Then the doors opened, and you were not prepared for what lay beyond them.

The Great Hall was breathtaking—a vast, candlelit chamber, the enchanted ceiling reflecting the darkening sky above. Hundreds of students were seated at four long tables, their faces curious as they turned to watch you and the other new arrivals.

Your stomach twisted, but nothing—nothing—could have prepared you for what happened next. Because as your eyes swept over the sea of unfamiliar faces—

You found him.

Sebastian.

Sitting comfortably at the Slytherin table, elbow resting on the back of the bench, tie loose around his collar. His brown eyes locked onto yours immediately, and the moment they did—

That smirk.

Your stomach dropped.

He winked.

Realization crashed over you like a tidal wave.

"See you soon."

He knew. He had always known.

You had spent the last twenty-four hours wondering if you’d ever see him again, replaying last night in your head like a memory you’d have to cherish and lock away forever, and he had known the whole time.

You were going to kill him.

Right after you figured out how to survive this moment without combusting from sheer mortification, that is.

You walked on autopilot toward the front of the hall, and all the while, Sebastian watched you. His eyes were fixed on you with unabashed amusement, his elbow propped lazily on the table, his fingers drumming against the wood.

You tore your gaze away. Tried to focus. Tried to ignore the heat creeping up the back of your neck, the way your entire body burned at the realization that the man who had ruined you last night was a student at Hogwarts. Another seventh-year.

Your luck was atrocious.

You inhaled sharply, trying to keep your expression neutral as Professor Weasley led you to your seat. The Sorting Hat sat on its stool nearby, looking far too unassuming for something that was about to dictate your entire future.

Then, one by one, the first years were sorted.

You barely heard the names being called, the cheers erupting from the different tables, the applause that followed each new addition. Your heart was hammering too loudly in your chest.

And then your name.

A hush fell over the Great Hall.

You swallowed thickly, stepping forward.

The Sorting Hat was placed on your head, and before you could even prepare yourself, a voice murmured in your ear.

"Ah… interesting. Very interesting indeed."

Your breath caught.

"Curious mind… sharp, determined… a fire in you, yes, I see it… and yet… You long to prove yourself. To carve your own place in the world. Oh, yes… yes, I know where to put you…"

Your stomach twisted.

"Better be... Slytherin!"

The word rang out across the hall. Your entire body locked up. The Slytherin table erupted into cheers. You barely heard them. The only thing you could hear, the only thing you could process, was the sound of one single clap.

Slow. Mocking. Infuriating.

Sebastian was lounging in his seat, his smug, insufferable grin stretching ear to ear, hands coming together in deliberately slow applause.

Your stomach sank. Because of course. Of course this was happening. Of course you were going to be stuck in the same house as him.

For a brief, fleeting moment, you actually considered turning around and walking straight back out of the castle.

But instead you inhaled sharply. Steeled yourself. And with as much dignity as you could possibly muster, you marched toward the Slytherin table, taking a seat as far away from Sebastian as humanly possible.

You had survived the first week.

Barely.

It had been a long, painful, excruciatingly humiliating five days at Hogwarts, thanks to one person and one person alone.

Sebastian Sallow.

The smug, insufferable, walking nightmare who had made it his personal mission to ensure you would never forget what had happened that night in Hogsmeade. And worse, he was having fun doing it.

It was already bad enough that you had unknowingly shagged a classmate before you had even set foot inside the castle, but Sebastian had known. He had known the entire time that you were going to be classmates and he had deliberately chosen not to tell you.

And now he was using it against you.

Every day. Every bloody day, he found new and creative ways to remind you of that night in the Three Broomsticks

You tried to ignore him. You really did. Because Merlin knew you had bigger problems.

Adjusting to Hogwarts was hard enough as it was. The magic, the culture, the sheer weight of it all—it was suffocating.

You were trying to catch up on seven years of magical education in just one.

Every subject felt impossibly advanced, the lessons moving faster than you could process, the spells and theory and history so overwhelmingly foreign to you that it left you exhausted by the end of each day.

You had spent your entire life thinking you were just an ordinary person, and now you were expected to master magic in a world you barely understood.

You didn't have time for distractions. You didn’t have time for him.

And yet Sebastian was everywhere, taking every opportunity to hold this not-so-little secret over your head.

In Potions, when Professor Sharp had assigned you partners for the term, you’d silently prayed to any higher power that you’d be paired with literally anyone else.

You were not that lucky.

Sebastian had grinned when his name was called next to yours, sliding onto the bench beside you, his voice too low, too smooth as he leaned in and murmured, “Guess we’re stuck together for a while, sweetheart. Good thing you’re good with your hands.”

You had nearly dropped your cauldron.

In Defense Against the Dark Arts, when you had been paired for dueling exercises, Sebastian had grinned and leaned in close, murmuring, “Not the first time you’ve let me pin you down, is it?”

You had nearly hexed him on the spot.

But Sebastian found your anger amusing, your embarrassment endearing. So when you stomped into the Slytherin common room after dinner Friday night, you were determined to avoid him, determined to find a quiet corner and pretend he didn’t exist.

Except of course he was there. Leaning back on the couch by the fire, one arm draped lazily over the backrest, his gaze already fixed on you the moment you entered.

You froze. His smirk widened. You turned on your heel.

“Oh, don’t be like that, love.” His voice was too smooth, too damn smug.

You ignored him, marching toward the dormitory stairs.

“Running away?” he called after you. "And here I thought you found me irresistible."

You exhaled slowly, whirled around, and stalked toward him, stopping just short of where he lounged on the couch.

“You,” you hissed.

“Me,” he agreed, completely unbothered.

“You have been insufferable all week.”

“I’ve been charming all week,” he corrected. “You, however, have been avoiding me.”

“Because you’re impossible.”

“I prefer relentless.”

You scowled. “You’re an ass.”

“I’ve been called worse.” He stretched, muscles flexing beneath his sweater. “Besides, you’re acting like I did something terrible, but as I recall, you weren’t exactly shy about how much you enjoyed yourself."

Heat flared across your cheeks, and Sebastian barely had a second to react before your fingers curled into the fabric of his sweater, yanking him up from the couch with far more strength than he had expected. His smirk faltered for a second before he recovered, letting you drag him toward the exit of the common room.

The moment you stepped into the dimly lit corridor beyond the common room entrance, you shoved him back against the stone wall, your grip still tight on his sweater.

“You let me humiliate myself.”

Sebastian actually had the audacity to look offended. "Humiliate?"

"You knew we were going to be classmates, and you didn't tell me!" you spat, your fingers still curled into the front of his sweater. "You let me walk into Hogwarts completely blind, thinking I'd never see you again. And then you spent the entire week taunting me about it!"

Sebastian’s smirk faltered, if only for a fraction of a second. It wasn’t much, just the tiniest flicker of something uncertain in his brown eyes, but for the first time since this nightmare began, you saw something other than amusement behind his teasing.

Guilt.

His lips parted slightly, as if to say something, but then he hesitated. His fingers twitched at his sides like he was debating whether or not to lift them, to touch you, to do something other than stand there pinned against the wall.

And then, finally, he sighed.

“I didn’t mean for it to be cruel,” he admitted. “I swear, I didn’t.” Sebastian ran a hand through his curls, looking surprisingly sheepish. “I—” He hesitated again, exhaling sharply before he finally said, “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

Your fingers loosened slightly in his sweater. “…What?”

“I didn’t know how to tell you,” he repeated, a small, rueful chuckle slipping from him. “How was I supposed to bring that up? Oh, by the way, I’m actually a student too. See you in class.”

Your scowl deepened. "Sounds to me like you just wanted a shag and didn’t care what happened after."

Sebastian winced, his mouth pressing into a tight line, and for a moment, he actually looked hurt.

"That’s not—" He ran a hand over his face. "Merlin—that’s not what it was."

"Could have fooled me."

His jaw tensed. "Do you really think I’m that much of a bastard?"

You hesitated. Because—yes? No? You didn’t even know anymore. The Sebastian you had met at the Three Broomsticks—the charming, charismatic, thoughtful man who had listened to you so intently, who had kissed you like he had already decided you were his—felt like an entirely different person from the one who had spent the past week tormenting you. And yet… was it really so surprising that they were one and the same?

For all his teasing, for all his insufferable smugness, there had been moments where you had caught glimpses of that same man beneath it all. The one who had made you laugh, who had leaned in close like he couldn’t help himself, who had unraveled you with a single look.

And for all your frustration, all your exasperation, you couldn’t get that night out of your head.

The way he had touched you. The way he had looked at you. The way he had made you feel, like you were something to be devoured.

Now, standing here, chest to chest, his voice lower, his smirk absent, the way he was looking at you wasn’t taunting, certainly wasn’t cruel. It was something else entirely.

"I don’t know," you admitted finally.

Sebastian inhaled sharply. He tilted his head back against the stone wall, staring at the ceiling like he was trying to collect his thoughts, like he was trying to find the right words, something he clearly never struggled with. But then he exhaled, his hands finally moving, coming up slowly to curl loosely around your wrists, the weight of them warm and solid.

"I should have told you," he said. "I should have. But it wasn’t because I didn’t care."

You swallowed hard. "Then why?"

Sebastian sighed, a rueful smile tugging on his lips. "Because I liked you. I liked you the second I sat down next to you, and I didn’t want to tell you."

You stared at him, but Sebastian wasn’t looking at you anymore. His gaze had drifted somewhere over your shoulder, jaw tight, lips pressed together in frustration.

"I knew the second I told you, it would ruin everything," he continued. "I knew you’d look at me differently. That it wouldn’t be real anymore. That you'd... pull away from me."

Sebastian’s eyes flicked back to yours. "But that night, before you knew… you looked at me like I was..." His voice softened, almost distant. "Like I was worth your time."

You swallowed thickly, pulse hammering in your ears.

Sebastian’s grip on your wrists tightened just slightly, his thumbs brushing against your skin before he sighed and let go, running a hand through his hair.

"I’m sorry," he muttered. "Truly. I know I... I should have told you, I was an ass, you're right," His mouth quirked slightly, but there was no arrogance behind it now, only something almost self-deprecating. "But, for what it’s worth… this week has been fun."

You huffed, crossing your arms. "Fun for you."

He grinned, but the sharpness had dulled. "And for you, if you’d just admit it."

You rolled your eyes, but the irritation wasn’t quite as strong anymore. He wasn’t... wrong.

The tension between you shifted. It didn’t dissolve, not entirely, but it wasn’t as jagged now. It lingered, softer at the edges, something else creeping in.

Sebastian Sallow, with all his arrogance and relentless teasing, wasn’t just a menace. He was charming. He was dangerous. Not because he was cruel, not because he was some heartless rake who played with people’s emotions for sport, but because he actually meant it.

Because beneath all the games and the insufferable smirks, there was someone real. Someone who had wanted you, who still did. And worse—Merlin help you—you wanted him too.

You inhaled sharply, pushing past the thoughts threatening to sink their claws into your already-weakened defenses. “I’m not saying I forgive you completely,” you muttered. “But… I guess I understand why you did it.”

Sebastian grinned. “Progress.”

“Don’t push it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Liar.

But he was watching you carefully now, his expression something almost hesitant, and he shifted slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. “So, does this mean we can start over?”

You frowned slightly. “Start over?”

He straightened, suddenly standing tall, clearing his throat before extending his hand between you.

“Sebastian Sallow,” he said, voice deliberately formal. But his brown eyes were warm, playful, and somehow earnest. “Seventh-year. Slytherin. Excellent duelist. Top of our class in Dark Arts. And, apparently, your Potions partner for the foreseeable future.”

You stared at him. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Can't be that bad," he mused, still holding out his hand, "you haven’t walked away.”

Your lips pressed together, but you couldn’t stop the smallest tug at the corner of your mouth. You sighed, then reached out, slipping your fingers into his.

You met his gaze. “But for the record, I was trying to walk away from you all week.”

Sebastian smirked. “And yet.”

You groaned, trying to tug your hand back, but he held on, thumb brushing lightly over your knuckles in a way that made something dangerous flutter in your chest.

“Alright, alright,” you huffed, finally giving in. “Truce.”

Sebastian’s grin widened. “Truce.”

He finally let your hand go, and you ignored the way your skin still tingled from the contact.

But before you could even process what this meant, what he meant, Sebastian tilted his head, considering you for a long moment.

“Still,” he murmured, his voice quieter now, smoother. “I can’t help but wonder…”

You arched a brow. “Wonder what?”

His gaze flickered, dropping just slightly to your lips before meeting your eyes again.

“If you’d still look at me the same way," he murmured, "now.”

You stiffened.

You knew exactly what he meant. Exactly what he was asking.

That night in the Three Broomsticks, you had looked at him like he was something worth wanting. Like he was someone worth keeping. And now—now that you knew who he was, now that you’d spent the past week despising him, pushing him away, trying and failing to ignore the way he made you feel—did you still want him?

Sebastian tilted his head slightly, his voice lower now, softer. “Well?”

Your breath came a little quicker. You could feel the heat radiating off him, the way he was so close but not quite touching, waiting. The way his breath was just the faintest bit uneven, like he wasn’t as unaffected as he wanted you to believe.

You opened your mouth—whether to deny your feelings, to tell him to shut up, or to say something else entirely, you weren’t sure—but you never got the chance. Because in the next breath, Sebastian’s hands were on your cheeks, and then—then he was kissing you.

It wasn’t like in the Three Broomsticks. That had been confident, assured, dripping with the kind of arrogance that came with knowing exactly what he wanted and knowing he could have it.

This was different. This was hesitation wrapped in want. Caution tangled with need.

His lips pressed against yours, firm but searching, waiting—waiting for you to push him away, waiting for you to tell him this was a mistake.

But you didn’t. You couldn’t.

The moment his mouth met yours, the world tilted, and suddenly, you were back in that dimly lit inn room, back to firewhiskey-slicked lips and burning fingertips, back to the way his body had felt beneath yours, against yours.

Back to the way he had unraveled you.

A quiet sound escaped your throat—something between a sigh and a surrender—and in response, Sebastian exhaled sharply through his nose. His fingers slid into your hair, pulling you closer, kissing you like he had just won something, like he had been waiting all week for you to cave, to crack, to give in.

And maybe he had. Maybe you had too.

Your hands found their way to his sweater, curling into the fabric, holding onto him as his lips moved against yours, slow and deliberate, tasting, savoring.

His fingers curled tighter at the nape of your neck, and you let him tilt your head, let him deepen the kiss, let him tease his tongue along the seam of your lips until you parted for him with a soft, breathless gasp.

His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you flush against him, and Merlin help you, you let him.

The warmth of his body, the scent of his skin, the way he kissed you—firm and unhurried, like he had all the time in the world to learn the shape of your mouth—it sent a slow, delicious heat curling through your stomach, pooling low in your core.

You weren’t sure how long you stood there, tangled in him, lost in the quiet hum of pleasure simmering just beneath your skin.

Long enough that your lungs burned for air. Long enough that your fingers had found their way into his curls, threading through them, tugging just enough to earn another deep sound from his throat.

And then, just as you were about to lose yourself completely, Sebastian pulled back.

Barely.

His forehead pressed against yours, his breathing uneven, his hands still gripping your waist like he wasn’t ready to let go.

His lips were red. Swollen.

So were yours.

For a long moment, neither of you spoke.

The silence was thick, charged, the only sound between you the soft, rapid inhale of your breaths.

Then finally Sebastian let out a quiet chuckle, low and breathless, his lips still close to yours.

“Well,” he murmured, voice rough with something sinful. “Guess I got my answer.”

You swallowed thickly, still trying to catch your breath, still trying to process what had just happened, what this meant, what this was.

“…Shut up,” you muttered.

Sebastian grinned. “Make me.”

You almost did. Almost kissed him again, almost let yourself fall right back into the warmth of his mouth, his touch, the way he felt against you.

But you didn’t.

Instead, you shoved lightly at his chest, your breath still uneven, your mind still spinning, and turned on your heel.

"You're carrying all my books to class next week," you shot over your shoulder, trying desperately to regain some semblance of control, to pretend like your heart wasn’t still hammering in your chest, like your lips weren’t still tingling from the way he had kissed you.

Sebastian let out a low chuckle behind you. “Oh? Is that my punishment, then?”

“Yes,” you said firmly, still walking away, because if you turned around, you might actually go back to him.

You heard him shift, could practically feel the smirk in his voice when he said, “Hardly seems fair. You enjoyed that just as much as I did.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, fists clenching at your sides. You inhaled sharply through your nose, then exhaled, willing yourself to ignore him, willing yourself not to let him see just how right he was.

Behind you, Sebastian hummed. “Alright, sweetheart. I’ll carry your books.”

You blinked. “…What?”

“I’ll carry your books,” he repeated, and when you finally turned to look at him, he was grinning, mischievous and infuriating and undeniably pleased with himself. “Happy to do it, actually. Gives me an excuse to walk you to class.”

Your stomach did something embarrassing.

“That’s not what I—”

“Oh, I know,” he cut in smoothly, rocking back on his heels. “But that’s what you’re getting.”

You groaned, turning around again, determined to put as much space between you and his smugness as possible. “You are impossible.”

"You still kissed me. Again."

You didn’t respond. You didn’t have to. Because even as you left him standing there, even as you stormed away, your lips still burned with the memory of him.

And something told you this was only the beginning.

Banner Credit

[lillysfiles]

Hi just dropping some sebastian sketches here for you ok bye

[lillysfiles]

boosting 💔

Hidden Truths

Your relationship with Sebastian was like a thunderstorm.

3.026 words

Tags: No use of y/n, female mc, prob grammatical mistakes

Warnings: Toxic relationship – fighting, comment (one) about eating, cheating, swearing

random a/n: this is kind of all over the place .. i had an idea then lost it then had a new idea then lost that one so yeah tbh idk

Dating Sebastian Sallow was not sunshine and rainbows. Being with him felt more like a thunderstorm. Cold rain on a muggy day, leaving you feeling sticky and uncomfortable. It felt like thunder and lightning cracking in the dead of night, making you shoot out of bed as your entire room lights up. It feels like a perfectly sunny day turning into the worst storm you have seen, streets flooding and seeping into people's basements.

But, dating Sebastian Sallow could also feel like sunshine and rainbows. Being with him could feel like the warm sun on your face after a frigid winter. It could feel like the first step into the hot sand in the summer. It could feel like a warm cookie, perfectly baked with chocolate melting on your tongue with every bite. It feels like the laughter you share with close friends during warm summer nights. It could be perfect.

You knew better than that. You knew, deep down, your relationship with Sebastian will almost always be a thunderstorm—a hurricane.

“What was that?” The brunette cornered you in the hall, eyes flaming with anger and jealousy. Ugly, ugly jealousy. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, only making the boy angrier. “What are you rolling your eyes for?” He leaned in closer. “You’re insane.” You rubbed your temples, headache already forming. It was way too early.

Sebastian’s eyebrows rose. “I’m insane?” He questioned, as though he didn’t hear you right. But he did. “Yes, bloody insane!” You threw your hands up. He let out a forced laugh, head shaking. “I’m insane? You were just basically fucking that guy,” He snarled. You scoffed, your head shaking. “Are you serious?” You asked. “Merlin, Sebastian. He is my potions partner. You are in my class! You know that.”

Sebastian let out a laugh. “Yeah, because that’s what that was. You just couldn’t wait to get away from me, huh?” He rolled his eyes. You huffed, pushing the boy backwards. “You’re a joke, Sebastian. A sick fucking joke.” You dodged past him, stomping away. “We’re done!” He called after you, making you throw up a middle finger over your shoulder as you stormed off.

Hours later, you found yourself sitting in the library. You were scribbling down homework, Imelda sat across from you. She stared at you for a while before you sighed, setting down your book and meeting eyes with the girl. “What?” You asked, eyebrows raising. She shook her head. “I don’t get why you keep putting up with him.” She looked at you, eyes squinting. “You could have anybody in this bloody school, and you continue to put up with Sallow and his shitty actions.” She continued, though your face had no reaction.

You were used to this conversation. Everybody brought this up to you. It was common knowledge that you and Sebastian did not have the healthiest relationship. Constantly arguing, breaking up just to messily make up. It was a repeated cycle that many students were aware of. You both were simply off limits.

“You don’t understand.” You sighed, shaking your head. “Maybe I don’t,” Imelda began, “But I do know that how he treats you is not fair.” You let out a half-chuckle. She just didn’t understand. “Imelda, please.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I really am not in the mood for this.” The girl shook her head, setting down her book finally and leaning in. “I don’t care, honestly.” She spoke in such a tone it made your eyebrows furrow. “You cannot genuinely believe that this is okay. You know I care about you, right?” You nodded slowly, your lips pressing together. “If he truly loved you, like you swear he does, he would not treat you how he does.”

You stared at her for a moment before picking up your book and standing. “You don’t understand. He does love me.” You defended, taken aback by her words. Imelda didn’t speak again, watching you storm out of the library.

As you hurried out of the library, you bumped into a familiar brunette. Sebastian took your arm, making your head snap towards him. Your heart fluttered at the sight of him, stomach flipping. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He started apologizing, his hand lifting to caress your face. “I didn’t mean what I said earlier. You know I love you, right?” He smiled at you. You bit your lip, eyes meeting his. For a moment, you hesitated. Seconds later, you leaned into his touch. “I know, baby.” You said softly, the boy pulling you in for a hug. He kissed your head, hand holding the back of your head as you wrapped your arms around his torso. “I’m sorry if I upset you.” He mumbled into your hair, and you could feel your stomach filled with a sense of dread.

Deep down, you knew this would happen again.

The following morning, you sat beside Sebastian in the great hall for breakfast. Imelda sat across from you, eyes tracking your every move. You and Sebastian conversed silently, giggling and whispering to each other. You finished your first plate of food, reaching over for another slice of bread before you caught Sebastian’s face twisting. You turned to him, the freckled boy leaning into your ear. “I wouldn’t have that, if I were you.” He mumbled into your ear, making you do a double take. You blinked at him, though the boy leaned back and resumed the conversation with Ominis as though nothing had happened.

Suddenly, you were no longer hungry.

You sat back, hands resting on your lap. Sebastian’s hand found its way to your thigh, squeezing tightly before resting. Looking up, you caught a familiar look on Imelda’s face. Not judgement, just worry. You forced a smile, though the look never went away from her face.

“Hey,” Ominis leaned over Sebastian, pulling at your attention. “Do we all want to go to Hogsmeade tonight? I could use a butterbeer to end the week.” He hummed, fingers drumming along the table. Before you could answer, Sebastian stepped into the conversation.

“I can’t. Me and her have homework.” He motioned to you, looking back at you with such an odd look on his face. You couldn’t place what it truly was. You nodded though, “Yeah, sorry Ominis.” Though, you couldn’t recall having any work. Ominis nodded, opening his mouth to speak once more before closing it. You looked at Sebastian, his eyes already trained on yours. He smiled at you, and all you could do was smile back.

“Ready?” He asked, standing and taking your hand. You nodded, standing. You waved at your friends, letting the boy lead you from the hall to the room of requirement. Sebastian let out a small sigh as he entered, letting his weight fall onto the couch in front of him. You followed, resting your body on top of his. His hands found their way to the small of your back, tracing symbols into the skin. It was not long before you found yourself falling asleep, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. Sebastian fell asleep not long after you.

An hour later, you woke up as Sebastian shifted underneath you. His hand stayed resting on your back, eyes shut as he let out small snores. You smiled as you studied him, blinking away sleep. He woke up a few minutes after you, eyebrows furrowed as he licked his lips. You brought your hand to his face, cooing softly as he smiled at you. “Good morning,” you whispered, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He smiled more, returning the favor with a gentle hum. “Hey,” he mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

“How long were we asleep?” He asked, rubbing his eyes. You shrugged, looking around the room. “I think like an hour,” you mumbled. He nodded, stretching his back. He stared at you, a gentle smile resting on his face. “You’re beautiful,” he spoke softly, making your heart flutter. He pulled you in, pressing another – more passionate – kiss to your lips.

All of the memories from earlier had washed away as you kissed back with just as much passion.

You pulled away, your foreheads resting against each other. “You know I love you, right?” He asked quietly. You nodded; eyes shut. “Good.” He muttered, your eyes opening to see him already looking at you. Your stomach filled with a deep, deep feeling of dread.

Ominis held his wand out, guiding him along the rocky road to Hogsmeade. You and Sebastian followed him close, lingering to the side of him as you all walked in relative silence. Sebastian rattled off different things which had happened at quidditch practice, you only half listening. Though, he didn’t notice. Ominis blatantly ignored the brunette, and Sebastian didn’t even seem to care as he continued talking.

“It’s bloody infuriating, Imelda has me doing triple the number of things as everyone else!” Sebastian huffed, pulling you back into reality. You looked at him, suddenly remembering the conversation you had with the other girl just a few days prior.

Sebastian didn’t notice your eyes, hands fidgeting with his wand angrily. His eyes seemed darker than usual; an unsettling anger rooted in them. You bit the inside of your cheek, turning to watch the path before you once more. Arriving at Hogsmeade, the three of you started up the cobblestone path. Ominis tucked his wand away, huffing. “Merlin, Sebastian. Let it go.” He spoke suddenly, shaking his head.

Sebastian’s head snapped to the blond, eyebrows furrowing. “I want to see you try and do half of the things I do.” He seethed, arms crossing. You lifted a hand to his bicep, the freckled boy seeming to relax for a moment before ripping his arm away and muttering something under his breath. You frowned, looking at Ominis, who seemed unaffected by Sebastian’s words.

“Get a grip.” Ominis mumbled, hands pressing against the door. He gave a push, entering the warm tavern. You and Sebastian followed closely, your eyes following Sebastian’s as he fidgeted in his seat.

You sat beside him, placing a gentle hand on top of his and sending him a warm smile. He met your eyes, smiling back at you before looking away once more. His eyes scanned the room, settling on a few people in the corner before facing forward.

The three of you chatted for a few hours, sipping down drinks and laughing together while the week faded away. As you and Ominis both stumbled down the pathway, leaning against each other and giggling, Sebastian followed behind. His arms were crossed over his chest as he watched the two of you, though he said nothing as you approached the school.

He led you both through the entrance and to your respective common rooms, kissing your forehead as he mumbled a soft “goodnight” to you. Your heart pounded, smile resting on your face as you eventually managed to drift off to sleep.

“I heard they got caught snogging in the library,”

Hushed whispers sounded around you as you walked through the hallways the following day.

“I heard they were doing it in the courtyard,”

Your eyebrows furrowed as eyes followed you.

“I heard…”

“Well, I heard…”

The voices silenced as you got closer.

Your heart was caught in your throat as your mind raced, wondering who in Merlin’s name they were whispering about. You suddenly felt a rough hand grab your arm, pulling you to the side quickly. Your head snapped to the person – people. Imelda had a rough hold on your arm, Natty leading the two of you.

“Hey!” You called, tripping over your feet as you were quickly whisked away. The girls didn’t even bat an eye, sharing a silent look with each other. “Hello? What are you doing!” You were growing more frustrated, pulled upstairs and through to the astronomy tower. You let out an angry huff as Imelda finally dropped your arm.

“What in Merlin’s name-”

“Did you hear?” Natty’s tone caught you off guard. Silent, almost upset. Your eyebrows furrowed, shaking your head. “Hear what?” They shared another look, Natty biting her lip. “Hello? Hear what?” You asked again, arms crossing over your chest.

Imelda shook her head. “Well.. I’m just going to say this. I don’t want you to get upset.” She spoke softly, you looking at Natty. She caught your eye once more before looking away. “Listen.. some students caught Sebastian last night..” your mind raced.

“Is he okay?” You asked, making Imelda sigh. “Yeah. He’s fine. They, uh, well… they caught him and Eliza snogging. In the library.” She spoke, eyes barely meeting yours.

It felt as though your world had collapsed.

Your chest felt a sudden, heavy pressure. Your ears rang, drowning out the voices of your two friends. You just stood there, your body feeling suddenly heavy.

Snogging Eliza.

Sebastian Sallow cheated on you.

“I’m going to be sick.” You managed to mumble out, face paling at the thought.

The two girls shared a look, Natty coming over and pressing a hand on your shoulder. You shook your head, forehead creasing. Your vision began to blur, warm heat running down your face. Lifting a finger, you pulled back and it was wet.

You were crying.

What else could you do?

The three of you sat in silence for a while, except for the silent cries of your own and the whispers of comforts they tried. Your chest felt heavy, like breathing in to hard would make your lungs collapse. All you could do was feel. And feel you did.

Imelda held your arm and walked you up to the room of requirement, nothing but your sniffles and the shuffling of your feet against the cobblestone flooring was heard. Her hand pulled to your head, smoothing down your hair. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” She asked softly, met with you shaking your head in silence. She nodded, hand resting on your shoulder. “If you need me you know exactly where I will be.” She said, rubbing your shoulder before turning around.

You watched her leave, only turning to enter into your secret room when she rounded the corner. Stepping in, the weight of it all hit you once more. Your hand reached to the pillar beside you, keeping you stable as you took in shaky breaths.

“My, is you well?” A voice asked you, and you turned to see Deek. You wiped your eyes, nodding slowly. “Yes, Deek.” You said softly. “Thank you.” The elf nodded, trying not to pry before he suddenly disappeared once more. You sighed, shoulders drooping.

“You don’t seem alright.” Another voice came, making you freeze. Your whole body tensed, unwilling to turn as you knew who that was. “What happened?” They spoke once more. You blinked, shutting your eyes and squeezing tight. Willing it to just be a dream.

A hand placed on your shoulder. A warm, familiar hand, once touching you with love, now touching you with fear.

“Sebastian…” You mumbled, turning to face the boy, who frowned upon seeing you. His hand reached up, attempting to wipe away your tears before you slapped his hand away and stepped back. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He opened his mouth, “I know.” You cut him off.

Sebastian froze at your words.

“What?” Was all he asked, hand frozen from where he was reaching out. Your eyes held a shine to them, cheeks wet with tears. It clicked in Sebastian’s head. “I know what you did.” You shook your head. “How could you do this to me?” your voice was quiet, cracking as you stared at him. The way you looked at him was different than any other look he had seen before.

Betrayal.

Because even after every other thing he had done, every name he has called you, every fight he started, it was nothing compared to this.

“How could you do this to me?” You asked again, voice raising as tears fell. “Do you know what it’s like? To hear everyone tell me how shitty you treat me, how bloody sad they are because – because of how I am affected by this, and – and for me to continue to defend you. To get made out to look like a bloody imbecile!” Your voice raised more, tears pouring down your face at a fast rate.

Sebastian stared at you for a moment before he reached his hand out.

“My love..” He said softly, his own vision becoming blurry. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” He apologized, grabbing your hand before you could pull away. “It meant nothing,”

At his touch, your body shuttered as you let out a sob. “And that makes it okay?” You managed to get out, body shaking. “What did I do so wrong? Why.. why do I deserve to get treated like this?” You asked him, eyes locking on his.

Sebastian swallowed at your words, shaking his head definitely. “You didn’t do anything,” He pulled your hand to his chest, trying to pull you in. You jerked your hand away, stumbling back aggressively from the force. He frowned, stepping back himself.

“I can’t do this, Sebastian.” You sobbed, head shaking. “How did you expect this to end? For me to forgive you? Like I always do?” You stepped closer, head lifting to meet his eyes. Anger surged through your body, an uncomfortable heat rising through you. He stayed where he was, tears rolling down his freckled cheeks. “Don’t you understand what you’ve done? To me? To us?” You pressed a finger into his chest, your body racking as sobs filled the room.

Sebastian stood speechless, shaking his head as he tried to mutter apologies to you.

“Can’t you see how fucked up this is?” You asked him, stepped back as you stared at him. Pulling your gaze away, you shook you head and pointed behind him.

“You need to leave. And I never want to see you again.”

Sebastian let out a sob, cheeks flushing as he shook his head. “This can’t be the end.” He said, fingers running through his hair.

 “You did this, Sebastian.”

[lillysfiles]

Hidden Truths

Your relationship with Sebastian was like a thunderstorm.

3.026 words

Tags: No use of y/n, female mc, prob grammatical mistakes

Warnings: Toxic relationship – fighting, comment (one) about eating, cheating, swearing

random a/n: this is kind of all over the place .. i had an idea then lost it then had a new idea then lost that one so yeah tbh idk

Dating Sebastian Sallow was not sunshine and rainbows. Being with him felt more like a thunderstorm. Cold rain on a muggy day, leaving you feeling sticky and uncomfortable. It felt like thunder and lightning cracking in the dead of night, making you shoot out of bed as your entire room lights up. It feels like a perfectly sunny day turning into the worst storm you have seen, streets flooding and seeping into people's basements.

But, dating Sebastian Sallow could also feel like sunshine and rainbows. Being with him could feel like the warm sun on your face after a frigid winter. It could feel like the first step into the hot sand in the summer. It could feel like a warm cookie, perfectly baked with chocolate melting on your tongue with every bite. It feels like the laughter you share with close friends during warm summer nights. It could be perfect.

You knew better than that. You knew, deep down, your relationship with Sebastian will almost always be a thunderstorm—a hurricane.

“What was that?” The brunette cornered you in the hall, eyes flaming with anger and jealousy. Ugly, ugly jealousy. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, only making the boy angrier. “What are you rolling your eyes for?” He leaned in closer. “You’re insane.” You rubbed your temples, headache already forming. It was way too early.

Sebastian’s eyebrows rose. “I’m insane?” He questioned, as though he didn’t hear you right. But he did. “Yes, bloody insane!” You threw your hands up. He let out a forced laugh, head shaking. “I’m insane? You were just basically fucking that guy,” He snarled. You scoffed, your head shaking. “Are you serious?” You asked. “Merlin, Sebastian. He is my potions partner. You are in my class! You know that.”

Sebastian let out a laugh. “Yeah, because that’s what that was. You just couldn’t wait to get away from me, huh?” He rolled his eyes. You huffed, pushing the boy backwards. “You’re a joke, Sebastian. A sick fucking joke.” You dodged past him, stomping away. “We’re done!” He called after you, making you throw up a middle finger over your shoulder as you stormed off.

Hours later, you found yourself sitting in the library. You were scribbling down homework, Imelda sat across from you. She stared at you for a while before you sighed, setting down your book and meeting eyes with the girl. “What?” You asked, eyebrows raising. She shook her head. “I don’t get why you keep putting up with him.” She looked at you, eyes squinting. “You could have anybody in this bloody school, and you continue to put up with Sallow and his shitty actions.” She continued, though your face had no reaction.

You were used to this conversation. Everybody brought this up to you. It was common knowledge that you and Sebastian did not have the healthiest relationship. Constantly arguing, breaking up just to messily make up. It was a repeated cycle that many students were aware of. You both were simply off limits.

“You don’t understand.” You sighed, shaking your head. “Maybe I don’t,” Imelda began, “But I do know that how he treats you is not fair.” You let out a half-chuckle. She just didn’t understand. “Imelda, please.” You pinched the bridge of your nose. “I really am not in the mood for this.” The girl shook her head, setting down her book finally and leaning in. “I don’t care, honestly.” She spoke in such a tone it made your eyebrows furrow. “You cannot genuinely believe that this is okay. You know I care about you, right?” You nodded slowly, your lips pressing together. “If he truly loved you, like you swear he does, he would not treat you how he does.”

You stared at her for a moment before picking up your book and standing. “You don’t understand. He does love me.” You defended, taken aback by her words. Imelda didn’t speak again, watching you storm out of the library.

As you hurried out of the library, you bumped into a familiar brunette. Sebastian took your arm, making your head snap towards him. Your heart fluttered at the sight of him, stomach flipping. “Baby, I’m sorry.” He started apologizing, his hand lifting to caress your face. “I didn’t mean what I said earlier. You know I love you, right?” He smiled at you. You bit your lip, eyes meeting his. For a moment, you hesitated. Seconds later, you leaned into his touch. “I know, baby.” You said softly, the boy pulling you in for a hug. He kissed your head, hand holding the back of your head as you wrapped your arms around his torso. “I’m sorry if I upset you.” He mumbled into your hair, and you could feel your stomach filled with a sense of dread.

Deep down, you knew this would happen again.

The following morning, you sat beside Sebastian in the great hall for breakfast. Imelda sat across from you, eyes tracking your every move. You and Sebastian conversed silently, giggling and whispering to each other. You finished your first plate of food, reaching over for another slice of bread before you caught Sebastian’s face twisting. You turned to him, the freckled boy leaning into your ear. “I wouldn’t have that, if I were you.” He mumbled into your ear, making you do a double take. You blinked at him, though the boy leaned back and resumed the conversation with Ominis as though nothing had happened.

Suddenly, you were no longer hungry.

You sat back, hands resting on your lap. Sebastian’s hand found its way to your thigh, squeezing tightly before resting. Looking up, you caught a familiar look on Imelda’s face. Not judgement, just worry. You forced a smile, though the look never went away from her face.

“Hey,” Ominis leaned over Sebastian, pulling at your attention. “Do we all want to go to Hogsmeade tonight? I could use a butterbeer to end the week.” He hummed, fingers drumming along the table. Before you could answer, Sebastian stepped into the conversation.

“I can’t. Me and her have homework.” He motioned to you, looking back at you with such an odd look on his face. You couldn’t place what it truly was. You nodded though, “Yeah, sorry Ominis.” Though, you couldn’t recall having any work. Ominis nodded, opening his mouth to speak once more before closing it. You looked at Sebastian, his eyes already trained on yours. He smiled at you, and all you could do was smile back.

“Ready?” He asked, standing and taking your hand. You nodded, standing. You waved at your friends, letting the boy lead you from the hall to the room of requirement. Sebastian let out a small sigh as he entered, letting his weight fall onto the couch in front of him. You followed, resting your body on top of his. His hands found their way to the small of your back, tracing symbols into the skin. It was not long before you found yourself falling asleep, shifting slightly to get more comfortable. Sebastian fell asleep not long after you.

An hour later, you woke up as Sebastian shifted underneath you. His hand stayed resting on your back, eyes shut as he let out small snores. You smiled as you studied him, blinking away sleep. He woke up a few minutes after you, eyebrows furrowed as he licked his lips. You brought your hand to his face, cooing softly as he smiled at you. “Good morning,” you whispered, leaning in to place a gentle kiss on his lips. He smiled more, returning the favor with a gentle hum. “Hey,” he mumbled, voice thick with sleep.

“How long were we asleep?” He asked, rubbing his eyes. You shrugged, looking around the room. “I think like an hour,” you mumbled. He nodded, stretching his back. He stared at you, a gentle smile resting on his face. “You’re beautiful,” he spoke softly, making your heart flutter. He pulled you in, pressing another – more passionate – kiss to your lips.

All of the memories from earlier had washed away as you kissed back with just as much passion.

You pulled away, your foreheads resting against each other. “You know I love you, right?” He asked quietly. You nodded; eyes shut. “Good.” He muttered, your eyes opening to see him already looking at you. Your stomach filled with a deep, deep feeling of dread.

Ominis held his wand out, guiding him along the rocky road to Hogsmeade. You and Sebastian followed him close, lingering to the side of him as you all walked in relative silence. Sebastian rattled off different things which had happened at quidditch practice, you only half listening. Though, he didn’t notice. Ominis blatantly ignored the brunette, and Sebastian didn’t even seem to care as he continued talking.

“It’s bloody infuriating, Imelda has me doing triple the number of things as everyone else!” Sebastian huffed, pulling you back into reality. You looked at him, suddenly remembering the conversation you had with the other girl just a few days prior.

Sebastian didn’t notice your eyes, hands fidgeting with his wand angrily. His eyes seemed darker than usual; an unsettling anger rooted in them. You bit the inside of your cheek, turning to watch the path before you once more. Arriving at Hogsmeade, the three of you started up the cobblestone path. Ominis tucked his wand away, huffing. “Merlin, Sebastian. Let it go.” He spoke suddenly, shaking his head.

Sebastian’s head snapped to the blond, eyebrows furrowing. “I want to see you try and do half of the things I do.” He seethed, arms crossing. You lifted a hand to his bicep, the freckled boy seeming to relax for a moment before ripping his arm away and muttering something under his breath. You frowned, looking at Ominis, who seemed unaffected by Sebastian’s words.

“Get a grip.” Ominis mumbled, hands pressing against the door. He gave a push, entering the warm tavern. You and Sebastian followed closely, your eyes following Sebastian’s as he fidgeted in his seat.

You sat beside him, placing a gentle hand on top of his and sending him a warm smile. He met your eyes, smiling back at you before looking away once more. His eyes scanned the room, settling on a few people in the corner before facing forward.

The three of you chatted for a few hours, sipping down drinks and laughing together while the week faded away. As you and Ominis both stumbled down the pathway, leaning against each other and giggling, Sebastian followed behind. His arms were crossed over his chest as he watched the two of you, though he said nothing as you approached the school.

He led you both through the entrance and to your respective common rooms, kissing your forehead as he mumbled a soft “goodnight” to you. Your heart pounded, smile resting on your face as you eventually managed to drift off to sleep.

“I heard they got caught snogging in the library,”

Hushed whispers sounded around you as you walked through the hallways the following day.

“I heard they were doing it in the courtyard,”

Your eyebrows furrowed as eyes followed you.

“I heard…”

“Well, I heard…”

The voices silenced as you got closer.

Your heart was caught in your throat as your mind raced, wondering who in Merlin’s name they were whispering about. You suddenly felt a rough hand grab your arm, pulling you to the side quickly. Your head snapped to the person – people. Imelda had a rough hold on your arm, Natty leading the two of you.

“Hey!” You called, tripping over your feet as you were quickly whisked away. The girls didn’t even bat an eye, sharing a silent look with each other. “Hello? What are you doing!” You were growing more frustrated, pulled upstairs and through to the astronomy tower. You let out an angry huff as Imelda finally dropped your arm.

“What in Merlin’s name-”

“Did you hear?” Natty’s tone caught you off guard. Silent, almost upset. Your eyebrows furrowed, shaking your head. “Hear what?” They shared another look, Natty biting her lip. “Hello? Hear what?” You asked again, arms crossing over your chest.

Imelda shook her head. “Well.. I’m just going to say this. I don’t want you to get upset.” She spoke softly, you looking at Natty. She caught your eye once more before looking away. “Listen.. some students caught Sebastian last night..” your mind raced.

“Is he okay?” You asked, making Imelda sigh. “Yeah. He’s fine. They, uh, well… they caught him and Eliza snogging. In the library.” She spoke, eyes barely meeting yours.

It felt as though your world had collapsed.

Your chest felt a sudden, heavy pressure. Your ears rang, drowning out the voices of your two friends. You just stood there, your body feeling suddenly heavy.

Snogging Eliza.

Sebastian Sallow cheated on you.

“I’m going to be sick.” You managed to mumble out, face paling at the thought.

The two girls shared a look, Natty coming over and pressing a hand on your shoulder. You shook your head, forehead creasing. Your vision began to blur, warm heat running down your face. Lifting a finger, you pulled back and it was wet.

You were crying.

What else could you do?

The three of you sat in silence for a while, except for the silent cries of your own and the whispers of comforts they tried. Your chest felt heavy, like breathing in to hard would make your lungs collapse. All you could do was feel. And feel you did.

Imelda held your arm and walked you up to the room of requirement, nothing but your sniffles and the shuffling of your feet against the cobblestone flooring was heard. Her hand pulled to your head, smoothing down your hair. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” She asked softly, met with you shaking your head in silence. She nodded, hand resting on your shoulder. “If you need me you know exactly where I will be.” She said, rubbing your shoulder before turning around.

You watched her leave, only turning to enter into your secret room when she rounded the corner. Stepping in, the weight of it all hit you once more. Your hand reached to the pillar beside you, keeping you stable as you took in shaky breaths.

“My, is you well?” A voice asked you, and you turned to see Deek. You wiped your eyes, nodding slowly. “Yes, Deek.” You said softly. “Thank you.” The elf nodded, trying not to pry before he suddenly disappeared once more. You sighed, shoulders drooping.

“You don’t seem alright.” Another voice came, making you freeze. Your whole body tensed, unwilling to turn as you knew who that was. “What happened?” They spoke once more. You blinked, shutting your eyes and squeezing tight. Willing it to just be a dream.

A hand placed on your shoulder. A warm, familiar hand, once touching you with love, now touching you with fear.

“Sebastian…” You mumbled, turning to face the boy, who frowned upon seeing you. His hand reached up, attempting to wipe away your tears before you slapped his hand away and stepped back. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He opened his mouth, “I know.” You cut him off.

Sebastian froze at your words.

“What?” Was all he asked, hand frozen from where he was reaching out. Your eyes held a shine to them, cheeks wet with tears. It clicked in Sebastian’s head. “I know what you did.” You shook your head. “How could you do this to me?” your voice was quiet, cracking as you stared at him. The way you looked at him was different than any other look he had seen before.

Betrayal.

Because even after every other thing he had done, every name he has called you, every fight he started, it was nothing compared to this.

“How could you do this to me?” You asked again, voice raising as tears fell. “Do you know what it’s like? To hear everyone tell me how shitty you treat me, how bloody sad they are because – because of how I am affected by this, and – and for me to continue to defend you. To get made out to look like a bloody imbecile!” Your voice raised more, tears pouring down your face at a fast rate.

Sebastian stared at you for a moment before he reached his hand out.

“My love..” He said softly, his own vision becoming blurry. “It was an accident. I didn’t mean to hurt you,” He apologized, grabbing your hand before you could pull away. “It meant nothing,”

At his touch, your body shuttered as you let out a sob. “And that makes it okay?” You managed to get out, body shaking. “What did I do so wrong? Why.. why do I deserve to get treated like this?” You asked him, eyes locking on his.

Sebastian swallowed at your words, shaking his head definitely. “You didn’t do anything,” He pulled your hand to his chest, trying to pull you in. You jerked your hand away, stumbling back aggressively from the force. He frowned, stepping back himself.

“I can’t do this, Sebastian.” You sobbed, head shaking. “How did you expect this to end? For me to forgive you? Like I always do?” You stepped closer, head lifting to meet his eyes. Anger surged through your body, an uncomfortable heat rising through you. He stayed where he was, tears rolling down his freckled cheeks. “Don’t you understand what you’ve done? To me? To us?” You pressed a finger into his chest, your body racking as sobs filled the room.

Sebastian stood speechless, shaking his head as he tried to mutter apologies to you.

“Can’t you see how fucked up this is?” You asked him, stepped back as you stared at him. Pulling your gaze away, you shook you head and pointed behind him.

“You need to leave. And I never want to see you again.”

Sebastian let out a sob, cheeks flushing as he shook his head. “This can’t be the end.” He said, fingers running through his hair.

 “You did this, Sebastian.”

[lillysfiles]

writing …

scheming …

[lillysfiles]

Masterlist

Fluff - ★

Angst - 𖦹

Short - 𖡎

Hogwarts Legacy

Soft Love - ★𖡎 - Sebastian realizes he might be in love with his best friend. She realizes she also is in love with him.

Hidden Truths - 𖦹 - Your relationship with Sebastian was like a thunderstorm.

[lillysfiles]

Meet the author !!!

Masterlist

I am Lilly :) I am 18, a college student, and currently obsessed with Hogwarts Legacy and The Rookie.

I will be writing whenever I can (cannot guarantee it will be very often, tbh)

Whenever I figure out how to use tumblr again, I will open my asks/requests - but for now my dms are always open :)

Please bear in mind that I have not written since like 2020/2021. I am doing this just for fun !

[lillysfiles]

First time writing in like 5 years. Just trying to get back into the swing of it , so here is this little blabble :) apologies for any mistakes or anything , if u have any comments/critiques/questions pls say :p i will probably be posting a meet the author type of thing soon im not sure though !

i am open 2 requests

but mainly i apologize if this is not done very well!! haven’t written in a very long time :)

Soft Love

In which Sebastian finds himself falling for his best friend.

2,211 words

Tags: female mc, reader insert, no use of y/n, silent pining w no relationship, 1 swear, not proofread

Sebastian Sallow was nothing short of an asshole. From his attitude to blatant disrespect for teachers and their rules. If you asked any Hogwarts student – they would tell you the same thing. Even still, he lived for the title. In fact, he seemed to long for people to fear him. He was unaffected by teachers chasing him down the halls after another potion had blown up in somebody’s (Garreth’s...) face. He lived to know that the moment he entered a room, silence would follow. He had a reputation to uphold.

You did not fear him.

Sebastian Sallow both hated and loved that.

You first met the boy in your second year at Hogwarts, both sat in detention for sneaking into the library after hours. Separately.

Since that moment, the two of you seemed to be inseparable. You were always on the same level of mischief, and this moment in time was no different.

You and Sebastian both ran down the streets of Hogsmeade, laughing loudly as a shopkeeper chased you. “Sallow!” Her voice bellowed, though her legs could not keep up with the likes of yours. Once finally out of her vision, you began to slow down to catch your breath.

Sebastian slowed as well, crossing his hands behind his head as he let out a breathy chuckle.

“We are going to be in so much trouble,” He smirked, shaking his head as the memories coursed through his mind of the past moments. You had been speaking to the worker, distracting the worker, as Sebastian charmed the likes of every item in the shop to begin dancing, shuffling around, and some items even singing loudly. It was rather obnoxious, though not to cause serious damage to the shop itself.

You let out a breathy laugh, nodding and wiping your eyes for stray tears. “I feel like we usually are,” you grinned at the brunette, meeting his eyes. He matched your grin, nodding along as you spoke. “Quite true,” He hummed, wiping the robes he wore for any dirt which might have caught on them as he ran. He looked up, watching the sky begin to shift hues to a dark blue as the sun set. He turned to the girl, smiling at her.

She was leaning against the stone bricks behind her, robes askew from running. Her hair, once done properly, now had stray hairs falling everywhere. Her cheeks were rosy, lips pulled into a wide smile – teeth showing.

Sebastian’s heart lurched.

In this moment, it was as if Sebastian really saw her for the first time. How beautiful she looked, even after running and committing stupid pranks. Even after a long day of classes. Even after she complained about how little sleep she had gotten.

She looked beautiful.

Sebastian felt as though he could be sick. His stomach was fluttering (rather uncomfortably, matter of fact), heart began to pound in his chest as he stared at her. His best friend.

His best friend.

“Sebastian?” He was snapped back into reality, the girl’s eyebrows furrowing. “Merlin, Seb, I thought you were going deaf on me. Ominis is already blind, I can’t deal with you going deaf on me,” She huffed, though her tone gave away the playfulness of it all. He swallowed, throat going dry. He blinked a few times, taking a deep breath.

“I have to go back to Hogwarts.” He spoke curtly, inwardly cursing at himself for how weird he was truly being. She raised an eyebrow, looking him up and down (Sebastian believed he could genuinely be sick...) before nodding. “Okay.” She didn’t prod. “Let's get going then, shall we?” She smiled, and for Merlin’s sake, Sebastian’s knees almost gave out. Though, for the moment, he managed to nod and smile back at the girl.

As they traveled back to Hogwarts, the girl babbled on about something which had happened in her potions class. Sebastian nodded along to her story, watching her with a strange intensity.

How long have her eyelashes looked like that? He wondered, blinking as he examined every detail of her face, long memorized from the years of friendship. Was that a new lip gloss? Her lips are so -

“Okay, can you stop staring at me like that?” She stopped walking, arms crossing over her chest. Sebastian, startled, halted to a stop with a confused look flashing on his face. “You have been acting weird.” She noted, not one to bite her tongue.

Sebastian swallowed, not sure exactly what to say. He was not exactly sure why he was acting like this in the first place. “I just...” His voice trailed off, mind racing. “Stomach. Hurts.” He managed out, making the girls eyebrows raise. Fuck. Though, instead of prodding and pressing the boy, she nodded slowly. “Okay..” She sounded unsure, beginning her walk back to the castle.

“You must have to shit.” She spoke suddenly, making Sebastian choke on his spit from the abruptness.

Hours later, Sebastian laid flat on his back on his dorm bed. His eyebrows were furrowed, his mind racing. He brought his hands up, running his fingers through the tangled hair. He sat up, shaking his head.

With a few swift motions, Sebastian was standing and shuffling his way through the common room. He began his way to the undercroft, diving in and out through students. He pulled out his wand, checking over his shoulder before reciting the incantation to enter. He huddled in, door slamming behind him. “Ominis?” He called, crawling down the stairs to see the blond sat on a couch, wand hovering over a paper. Ominis’ head snapped in the direction of Sebastian, face blank. “What is it, Sebastian?” He questioned, holding his wand up in the direction of the boy. “You seem tense,” He noted, setting his paper down, body shifting to face Sebastian.

Sebastian groaned, hands flying up to rub his eyes. “What is wrong with me?” He moaned. Ominis raised an eyebrow, though he stayed silent. “I was out earlier. I was with her,” He began, and Ominis nodded along. “And we were fucking around, and I saw her and – it was like – she looked.. good? Like, good. It was weird,” He rambled, shaking his head. He paced back and forth, shoes clicking against the stone flooring. Ominis’ head followed the sound, blinking as he listened. “It was quite strange. She was just being normal, honestly. And I just found myself staring at her, and I felt sick. My stomach. It was queasy.” He explained further, eyebrows furrowed.

Ominis stifled a small laugh, catching Sebastian’s attention. “What? What’s so funny?” The freckled boy stopped pacing, anger flashing through his eyes as his best friend laughed at him. “You. You’re what’s funny,” Ominis crossed his arms, leaning back with a grin on his face. Sebastian shook his head. “I don’t understand.”

Ominis huffed, shaking his head. His clouded eyes shifted around the room. “I just cannot believe it took you this long.” Sebastian shook his head, still confused. At the silence, Ominis huffed once more. “Merlin, Sebastian… I thought it was quite obvious you two were in love with each other. I knew you were not fully sure but I didn’t believe you were this dense.”

Sebastian sat there, stunned.

“In love with her?!”

You sat in the astronomy tower, Natsai sat across from you. She scribbled down notes as you stared out a window, face blank. “I can practically hear your thoughts.” Natty spoke up, setting her quill down to look at you. Startled, your head whips towards the Gryffindor. “What?”

Natty rolled her eyes. “Galleon for your thoughts?” She asked, simple smile falling on her face. You blinked at her a few times, leaning back against the wall. “Sebastian was acting strange earlier.” You noted, the other nodding. “How so?” She asked, making you sigh. “He was just acting… like suspicious.” You tried explaining, eyebrows furrowing.

“He kept staring at me and then he just like – shut down on me.” You further explained. Natty let out a small chuckle. You raised an eyebrow. “You really don’t know?” She questioned, making you shake your head.

Natty let out a sigh, rubbing her temples. “Oh my,” She shook her head. “You are hopeless.” You blinked, still confused. “You do know he’s in love with you, don’t you?”

Your mind went blank. In love with you. Your heart beat sped up, heat rising to your cheeks. Suddenly, every memory with him took on a new meaning. The late night study sessions, hiding in the undercroft together, skipping classes, all of it was under a new light. “Oh…” Was all that you could get out, mouth dry. You blinked hard, swallowing. “How long…” Your voice trailed off, finally looking back at Natty who had a mischievous grin on her face.

“Easily since second year.” Natty confirmed, and your jaw dropped. “Do I?” You asked. Natty nodded. “I believe you do, at least. We all assume you to.” Your eyebrows furrowed, and Natty smiled awkwardly. “Oh. Oh wow.” You finally sighed out, blinking harshly and bringing your hands to your face.

The girl across from you let out a hearty laugh, your face burning with embarrassment.

Hours later, Sebastian and Ominis sat in silence in the undercroft. It was nearing curfew, Ominis blinking away sleep as he finished writing the final line of his homework. Sebastian watched him, though his mind was occupied with other thoughts. Ominis felt the gaze, face twisting as he looked up. “Sebastian, please.” He huffed. Sebastian stood, shaking his head.

“Ominis, I have never felt as confused as I have in this moment.” The brunette started, shoulders drooping. Ominis sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Do I tell her? What do I do?” The brunette spoke again, coming closer to Ominis to shake his shoulders. Ominis groaned, startled from the touch.

“Yes, you do.” Ominis rolled his eyes. “Listen, Sebastian. What would it change anyways? You two already act like a married couple.” His arms crossed, Sebastian’s cheeks warming at the notion. He smiled sheepishly at the thought, though shook his head quickly. “I can’t,” He decided, eyebrows etched together. Ominis’ face painted with confusion. “I don’t want to ruin what we have. I tend to do that. A lot. And I don’t want to ruin her.” He mumbled, making Ominis shake his head.

“Sebastian. For you, I believe she would ruin anything.”

The following day, Sebastian slid in beside Ominis in potions class. The two convened between eachother silently, the brunettes head snapping to the door every time it opened. Finally, the girl he was most nervous to see entered. Her robes were freshly pressed, hair pulled from her face. She scurried in, sliding in beside Sebastian as she usually did. She smiled warmly at the pair, and Sebastian couldn’t help but smile back at her. His heart flurries, and every worry from the day before had washed away.

“Feeling better?” She questioned, setting her books on the table in front of her. The freckled boy nodded, smile never faltering. “Yes, I am now.” He spoke, feeling a slight nudge on his back from Ominis. He turned, seeing the blond looking at him with an eyebrow raised. He shook his head, turning back to face the girl just as Professor Sharp began speaking.

Sebastian let Sharp’s voice drown out, eyes drawn to the girl beside him. He watched her scribble down notes quickly, hair falling into her face. He bit the inside of his cheek, scanning her face with a smile rest upon his face.

“Sallow.” Sebastian’s head snapped up. “Do you care to join the rest of the class or continue to stare at those around you?” Professor Sharp questioned, all heads turning to stare at Sebastian. The boys face heated up, as he stuttered out a quick apology.

Her head lifted, sending Sebastian a small smile before Sharp began droning on once more. Sebastian began to scribble notes down following that, ears as red as his cheeks from the embarrassment.

After a long day of classes, and Sebastian acting very out of character, the trio sat in their respective spots at the Slytherin table in the dining hall. Ominis spoke with her, the girl grinning ear to ear as she sipped on her pumpkin juice. Sebastian watched the pair, smile on his face. He twiddled with the fork in his fingers, head resting in his palm. “What about you?” He was pulled back into reality, looking at her. She raised an eyebrow, obviously expecting an answer.

“Um… yes?” Sebastian questioned, making the girl giggle and roll her eyes. “Sebastian, we were talking about our favorite memories.” Sebastian blinked.

“Oh.” He mumbled out, sheepish grin on his face. Favorite memory. “Probably when Ominis almost pissed his robes when we scared him.” He teased, the blonds fair skin flushing a deep red. “I did not!” He argued, making the trio bubble into loud laughter.

Sebastian looked across the table at the girl, a smile spread upon his cheek. Between the two of them, there was a silence knowingness between them. Something nobody else could have with each other. But for now, at this moment in time, all Sebastian could do was smile at her and swallow back the feelings he held.

[lillysfiles]

all aboard the angst train! ominis finds out from sebastian that he and mc are courting and goes to mc like what the hell i know you love me what are you courting sebastian? and mc just says I want a family I want children you will never give that to me. it's best for us to stop now before we really hurt each other. choo choo the angst train is leaving the station!!

What We’ll Never Have | Ominis Gaunt x Reader

this was just... so much pAIN. my HEART.

Words: ~2,200

Tags: Post Hogwarts, Reader Insert, Female MC, No Y/N, Angst, Hurt/No Comfort

Sebastian had been fidgeting all evening, a nervous habit he’d never quite shaken. Ominis had learned long ago to recognize the tells—shifting weight between his feet, the repeated cracking of his knuckles, the way he rapped his fingers against any available surface.

He knew Sebastian had something to say long before the words left his mouth, but nothing could have prepared him for what he finally said.

"I just thought you should hear it from me first," Sebastian had muttered. "She and I are courting."

Ominis had stood so still in that moment, his fingers curled around the rim of his tankard, that he might have been mistaken for a statue.

"You're what?" he’d asked, though he had heard perfectly well.

"Courting," Sebastian repeated, as if the word wasn't a knife twisting into Ominis’s ribs. "It's nothing dramatic. We just… figured it makes sense."

Ominis didn't even remember leaving the bar, his mind roaring with thoughts he couldn’t quiet. And now, here he was, standing outside your flat, barely aware that his knuckles had rapped against the wood until he heard the latch slide free and the door swing open.

A pause.

He knew you were looking at him. He knew, in that way he always knew you, that you understood why he was here, that you were already bracing yourself for the confrontation neither of you had ever been brave enough to have.

"Ominis," you greeted, your voice careful, neutral.

That only infuriated him more.

He shoved past you. The scent of parchment and tea clung to the air, but there was something else beneath it—something distant and wrong. It was the awareness that this was no longer his place to be, no longer a space where unspoken words could linger between you two, waiting to be plucked from the air like ripened fruit.

When the door clicked shut behind you, he turned sharply, his voice low but unrelenting. "What the hell are you doing?"

You sighed. "I take it you saw Sebastian.”

“Oh yes, I saw him,” Ominis snapped. “Had a very illuminating conversation, in fact. Imagine my surprise when my best friend tells me he and you—” His voice caught, and he hated that it did. He swallowed hard. “You are courting.”

Silence.

You didn’t deny it.

Instead, you said, “We’re happy, Ominis.”

He laughed, sharp and humorless. “You think you’ll be happy. But you and I both know that’s not the same thing as actually being happy.”

You didn’t argue. You didn’t say ‘you’re wrong’. And that silence spoke louder than anything else.

"I don’t understand," Ominis said, turning toward where he knew you stood. "Why are you doing this?!"

"It’s what makes sense, Ominis," you said, so softly, so gently, like you knew this would wound him and yet were trying to dull the blade.

Makes sense.

Such a simple phrase. So small and neat, as if it could explain away everything that had come before it—the glances you and Ominis shared across dimly lit rooms, the conversations that had stretched past midnight, the way your hands always lingered a second too long when they brushed his. The way Ominis had felt you, like a gravitational pull just beneath his skin, and known he would love you until the day he died.

He had spent years—years—telling himself there would always be more time. That whatever simmered between the two of you, whatever hung in the spaces of your conversations, whatever made you linger a little too long, press a little too close, would still be there when the timing was right.

Except now, he realized, the moment had passed without him ever knowing it.

His breath was ragged as he took a step forward, his hands twitching at his sides. “Sense?” he repeated, incredulous. “You’re choosing him because it makes sense?

“I had to make a choice, Ominis.”

He shook his head. “No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did,” you countered, stepping closer. “And I—” You hesitated, just for a moment, before forcing yourself to say it again. “And I chose Sebastian.”

Ominis let out a quiet, humorless laugh, "You just woke up one day and decided to be with Sebastian?”

You flinched, but your voice remained steady. “It wasn’t like that. It's not like I decided on a whim. You act like Sebastian and I didn't talk this through first."

Ominis stilled. This was planned. Considered. You and Sebasrian had discussed it, picked apart the logistics of it together, laid out the path forward.

Of course, you wouldn’t have rushed into something blindly. You had always been measured, deliberate. You thought through your choices, weighed them carefully before committing. And you had done the same with this.

Ominis felt his stomach turn but he forced himself to breathe through the pressure mounting in his chest. "How long?" His voice was sharp, brittle. "How long have you been considering it?"

You hesitated.

Ominis felt something cold settle in his ribs. "How long?"

"...A while."

Ominis let out a slow breath, his hands curled into fists at his sides. "But why him? You could have picked anyone else. Anyone. Some Ministry official, a bloody Healer. Of all people, why my best bloody friend?!"

You exhaled sharply. "Because he’s my best friend too, Ominis."

"You don't love him though!"

The words were out before Ominis could stop them, raw and sharp, edged with something dangerously close to desperation.

You exhaled, slow and measured. “Yes, I do."

“No, you don’t.”

"Maybe not in the way you mean, but we will learn—”

"Is that honestly what you think?” Ominis interrupted, his voice low and fraying at the edges. “You think you can just learn to love him like that?”

“Yes.”

Ominis shook his head, laughing bitterly, though nothing about this was funny. “You can’t force love.”

“I’m not forcing anything,” you countered. “It might not ne romantic love but that doesn’t mean it’s less.”

“It’s not real,” Ominis bit out.

“It is,” you said, voice thick with something unreadable. “It’s real in the ways that matter. It’s trust, it’s choosing someone because they’ll be there at the end of the day. It’s knowing that we’ll make each other happy, even if it isn’t some grand, burning thing.”

Ominis shook his head again. “You’re settling.”

You flinched, and for a fleeting moment, Ominis felt something like satisfaction. But then you exhaled sharply, something flashing in your eyes. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“You could have waited.” Ominis argued, throwing his hands on the air.

“For what?” you snapped. "You say what Sebastian and I have isn’t real but at least we acknowledge it."

Ominis stiffened.

"At least it’s something named, something that isn’t hiding in the dark," you continued, stepping closer, your frustration mounting. "At least we’re honest with each other."

Ominis felt like he had been struck.

"You think you get to stand here and tell me what is or isn’t real?" You shook your head. "I waited, Ominis. I waited for you."

His stomach twisted, but he stayed silent.

"For years," you emphasized, your voice trembling now, edged with something like grief. "Years, Ominis. Hoping that one day you’d—" You exhaled shakily. "That you’d just say it. That you’d choose me."

His throat tightened.

"But you never did."

The words hung between you, the weight of them pressing against his ribs, curling around his lungs, making it impossible to breathe.

"You never said it," you whispered. "Not once."

Ominis swallowed, his hands shaking now. "I—"

"You let me wait. You let me sit in that silence, let me hope while you stood there, doing nothing." Your voice broke, just slightly. “and after all that time, after years of waiting, you have the audacity to come here and tell me this isn’t real?" You scoffed, shaking your head. "What Sebastian and I have might not be what you think it should be, but at least it's something."

Ominis swallowed hard. He had spent his entire life being careful. Measured. Controlled. He had learned restraint before he had learned kindness, had learned to bite his tongue before he had ever learned how to wield it. He had spent years—a decade—walking this impossible, agonizing line with you, balancing on the edge of something neither of you had dared to name.

But standing here, knowing you were choosing someone else—choosing Sebastian—when he knew you loved him, when he knew, down to his very bones, that this wasn’t just some unrequited fantasy, that you had spent just as many years aching in silence as he had…

It broke something in him.

His breath shuddered as he stepped closer, close enough to feel the warmth of your skin, the uneven rise and fall of your chest.

"Fine." His voice was sharp, ragged at the edges, but he didn’t care. “You want me to say it? Fine." He let out a sharp breath, his voice rough with something raw and unrelenting. "I love you."

The words hung between you, vast and consuming, but Ominis wasn’t finished.

"I love you," he said again, the confession pouring from him like a wound finally splitting open, ten years of restraint breaking apart in an instant. "How many times do you want to hear it?"

You sucked in a breath, your lips parting slightly, but he didn’t let you speak.

"How many times will it take to change your mind?"

Your hands trembled at your sides, your whole body going still, but he knew—he knew—that this wasn’t news to you.

He took step forward, his voice hoarse now. "I know you love me too."

You shook your head once, a small, broken movement. "Ominis—"

"Don’t lie to me." His voice cracked on the last word. "Don’t.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, your jaw tightening, but you didn’t deny it.

Before he could think better of it, Ominis's hand lifted, fingers brushing along the line of your jaw before he cupped your cheek.

Your breath hitched beneath his palm.

Ominis exhaled slowly, his voice quieter now, softer, but no less desperate. "Tell me I’m wrong."

You swallowed hard.

"Tell me you don’t love me." His thumb ghosted over your cheek. "Tell me, and I will leave. I will let you go. I will walk away, and you will never hear another word of this from me again."

Silence. A silence so heavy, so vast, it felt like it might crush him. Because you couldn’t say it. Because you did love him and you always had.

Ominis’s breath left him in a slow, aching exhale. "Then why are you doing this?" His forehead almost rested against yours now as tears burned behind his sightless eyes. "Why are you choosing him?"

You swallowed. Your hand lifted slowly, curling over his wrist, as if you meant to pull him away, except you held him there instead.

“I want a family, Ominis,” you admitted, voice barely more than a breath.

Ominis's grip on your cheek slackened, the certainty that had carried him through this breaking apart all at once.

Ominis had never wanted children.

In all the late-night conversations between you that had stretched toward dawn, in all the quiet moments when the world had felt like it existed only for the two of you, he had admitted it freely. He had sworn, sworn, that he would never be a father. That he would never bring another Gaunt into this world, never risk continuing a bloodline so poisoned, so irreversibly rotted with cruelty, that he feared any child of his would inherit it, that they would open their eyes and see the world the way his father had seen it.

He had vowed it.

Because the truth was, Ominis didn’t know what fatherly love was even supposed to look like. He didn’t know how to be a father. Didn’t know what it meant to be the kind of person who could raise a child properly.

But now—now, standing here, the truth of it lodged itself deep into his chest: you wanted a family, and from the very start, Ominis had always refused to give you one.

"I don’t want to wait forever for something that will never happen," you murmured, your voice heavy with something close to grief. "I don’t want to wake up years from now and realize I let the chance slip away because I was waiting for you to change your mind."

Ominis exhaled sharply, his breath coming out ragged. "You think I wouldn’t have tried?" His voice cracked, something desperate clawing at his throat.

You pressed your lips together, and when you spoke again,your voice wavered. "That’s the problem, Ominis. I don’t want you to try. I want you to want it."

Ominis stepped back suddenly, his hand falling away from your cheek like the finality of it had just settled in his bones.

His voice was hoarse when he finally spoke. "And Sebastian does?"

You swallowed hard. "He—" You hesitated, just for a second, but that second was enough. "Yes, he... wants a family. A life that I want, too."

Ominis let out a bitter, shaking breath. "A life you wanted with me." His throat ached with the weight of it, with the unbearable truth of knowing that you had imagined this future—children, a home, a life filled with warmth—and once upon a time, you had pictured him by your side.

But not anymore.

[lillysfiles]

Sebastian, Ominis & MC by Pasta As Avatar

[lillysfiles]

i’ve been influenced. should be out this week but i haven’t written in a while (like. 4 or 5 years) so i apologize

am i cringe if i post a hogwarts legacy fanfic. i want to get back into writing and i have been obsessed w the game

[lillysfiles]

well this action had consequences

[lillysfiles]

am i cringe if i post a hogwarts legacy fanfic. i want to get back into writing and i have been obsessed w the game