livelaughloveandread

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Allison would hate that jorts are popular again.

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*Organizing Thanksgiving dinner*

Abby: And Kevin, you can bring the mashed potatoes.

Kevin: I can do more than mashed potatoes!

Aaron: *Sarcastic* Sure you can.

Kevin: You’re damn right I can! I’m doing the turkey.

Abby: Kevin, honey, are you sure that’s a good idea…

Kevin: I’m doing the turkey!

*3 hours later*

Kevin: *Alone in a kitchen, desperately trying to stop more smoke from coming out of the oven* Hello? Butterball Hotline? If I cook the stuffing inside the turkey, is there a chance I could kill my guests? *Under his breath* Not that that’s necessarily a deal-breaker…

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We do not talk enough about how Mr. Bingley is the original Elizabeth-Darcy shipper.

Pride & Prejudice (2005), dir. Joe Wright

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Andrew: *Walks into the room and turns to Matt* Where are we today on the saga of Kevin and Neil?

Matt: They seem to be having a… disagreement.

Andrew: *Raised eyebrow* A disagreement or a fight?

Matt: It certainly has the potential to—

Kevin: *From the other room* OH FOR GOD’S SAKES, NEIL!

Matt: There we go.

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Aaron: I have hatred in my heart.

Andrew: Toward whom?

Aaron: Go ahead and pick ‘em.

Dan: *so done* seriously, why do you two speak like this?!!

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Neil: I swear on my life, I’m telling the truth!

Kevin: *raised an eyebrow* I’ve seen your life, swear on something else.

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Abby: On a scale from 1 to 10, rate your pain.

Neil: Pi. A minimal, but never ending number.

Abby: *facepalm* Neil what the fuck.

Wymack: What do you mean minimal?!!! You were fucking shot!!!

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Neil: Alright, I’m going to call my uncle-

Aaron: I already called the police.

Neil: *deeply offended* You called the police before you called me?

Aaron: *incredulous* I’m supposed to call you first when I find a dead body?

Neil: *so done with this* YES!!!

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Nicky: *after becoming the Minyard twins’ guardian* I need an adult!

Nicky: *with a rising sense of horror* I AM an adult.

Nicky: I need an adultier adult!

Wymack: *knocks on the door to recruit Andrew*

Nicky: *with obvious relief* You!

Wymack: Huh?

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Allison: What do you want me to do? Apologize?

Dan: Yes.

Allison: Over my hot, rich, dead body.

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Allison: We’ve got daddy issues, daddy issues! *points at Matt*

Allison: Chaos junkie *points at Neil*

Neil: *feral grin*

Allison: Mommy issues *points at Aaron*

Aaron: *glares*

Allison: More daddy issues *gestures to Nicky*

Nicky: *pouts*

Allison: Obnoxious ASSHOLE issues *points aggressively at Andrew and Kevin*

Andrew and Kevin: *no reaction*

Allison: Then YOU— *points at Renee and Dan* you seem kind of weirdly self-actualized, as far as I can tell.

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Guys, Andrew is the guy with straight A’s and a sport scholarship just trying to get his brother and cousin through college. Then we have Neil, with his laundry list of crimes and involvement in the mafia, who keeps picking fights with dangerous people.

Andrew and Neil fit the good girl/bad boy trope with Neil as the bad boy and Andrew as the good girl

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Andrew and Neil fit the good girl/bad boy trope with Neil as the bad boy and Andrew as the good girl

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Wymack: You think I got to choose my players? Because you’re all such an exy dream team?! You, *points at Andrew* you’re lazy.

Andrew: *deadpan stare*

Wymack: You’re whiny.

Aaron: *looks deeply offended*

Wymack: Queenie over there is downright depressing!

Kevin: *looks a little hurt, but shrugs as if to say fair enough*

Wymack: And you Josten, you’re just annoying!

Neil: *grins diabolically*

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Also, people should stop asking the impossible of others. Especially fanfic authors, who are writing for fun and so others can enjoy. They are not getting paid for this shit. Be. Nice.

It’s Not a Plot Hole, It’s Foreshadowing

vs.

It’s Not a Plot Hole, It’s Just Something That They Opted Not to Spoon-feed You Because It Would Be Obvious If You Thought About It For 20 Seconds

vs.

It May Be a Plot Hole, But It Still Works In Terms of the Story’s Themes and Character Logic

vs.

Okay, It Is a Plot Hole, What Are You Going to Do, Cry about It?

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Matt: I love you.

Dan: And how many people have you said that to?

Matt: *looks down guiltily* A lot.

Dan: *Raises eyebrow*

Matt: No, really, I’ve told a lot of people that I love you.

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Also, Nora found a realistic way to have the love interest literally take the main character’s breath away.

it was incredibly poetic of nora to begin andreil’s storyline with andrew hitting neil with a racquet and ending it with andrew protecting neil from being hit with a racquet.