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Make sure you don't accidentally punish people for communicating their needs and boundaries. When someone cares enough to have the uncomfortable conversation, that's a compliment and a clear sign that they are invested in the relationship. Yes of course it's uncomfortable to hear that something you've been doing has been upsetting someone you care about when that was never your intention, but people generally only bother to have these conversations with the people they want to keep around - the people they trust to care. If they just didn't like you, they'd probably just try to avoid you. So make sure you don't make it into a more punishing experience than it has to be. Try to see the care and the trust behind the criticism, even when it triggers uncomfortable emotions. It's a good sign that they're there telling you.

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Demi STOP

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By the way, this is about a manga called 'A condition called love'. I've read plenty of high quality romance manga, this is not one of them.

The main guy is absolutely insane. The girl flat out says that she isn't interested in him or romance, and he says "I don't think ANYONE would be happier without falling in love." LMAO

Eventually, he tries so hard (and it's so endearing by the way) that she gives in on a "trial basis" where she sees if love is something she can "learn" to do. The comedy is fine and the art is cute, it's just the writing is so poor that I can't conceivably enjoy this.

If you like it, I'm happy for you, don't let my plant ass ruin it.

I like consuming romance media despite being aro/ace, it's an interesting thing that I don't particularly understand, fictional romantic love is something I genuinely enjoy quite a bit.

But sometimes, these stories (especially manga) end up pissing me off out of a genuine desire to have character growth based on "learning to fall in love". Like, not learning to love themselves or allow others to love them, no, not that. Their entire character arc is simply falling in love. The conflict is that they haven't had a crush before, so they go through an arc where they are courted, and learn *to be in love*.

The problem here isn't that I want them to be aro/ace, I am not reading a aro/ace story. The problem is that in these stories, romantic love is seen as so inherently present, such an integral, non-negotiable part of the human experience (to a much larger extent than friendship), that they end up treating it like its a WIN condition for life. There is no character, their problem is that they don't have a crush, and their arc is learning to have one. What the fuck are we doing?

Good romance stories understand that love is a consequence of two separate characters with their own struggles, goals, and ideals, growing and changing WHILE falling in love. Without that, you're just acting like not having a crush is a sort of failing that you need to GET OVER, it's such bullshit.

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I like consuming romance media despite being aro/ace, it's an interesting thing that I don't particularly understand, fictional romantic love is something I genuinely enjoy quite a bit.

But sometimes, these stories (especially manga) end up pissing me off out of a genuine desire to have character growth based on "learning to fall in love". Like, not learning to love themselves or allow others to love them, no, not that. Their entire character arc is simply falling in love. The conflict is that they haven't had a crush before, so they go through an arc where they are courted, and learn *to be in love*.

The problem here isn't that I want them to be aro/ace, I am not reading a aro/ace story. The problem is that in these stories, romantic love is seen as so inherently present, such an integral, non-negotiable part of the human experience (to a much larger extent than friendship), that they end up treating it like its a WIN condition for life. There is no character, their problem is that they don't have a crush, and their arc is learning to have one. What the fuck are we doing?

Good romance stories understand that love is a consequence of two separate characters with their own struggles, goals, and ideals, growing and changing WHILE falling in love. Without that, you're just acting like not having a crush is a sort of failing that you need to GET OVER, it's such bullshit.

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Endlessly funny to me that I, a sex-repulsed aromantic asexual, have infinitely fewer hangups about sex and sexuality than the average heterosexual Evangelical. The thought of having sex myself makes me feel nauseous and I don't enjoy porn/most erotic content, but I am enthusiastically giving allo people who enjoy that stuff two thumbs up and defending their right to goon. I am pro-sex and pro-gooning, just not for me.

That's why it's also funny to me that a lot of aphobes and exclusionists act like asexual people are the ones driving purity culture and sexual repression. Like I'm pretty sure it's actually the religious fundamentalists who WANT to have sex/masturbate/etc but have been repressed about sexuality to the point where they think they'll go to hell if they experience sexual pleasure or desire outside of an extremely narrow context.

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do any of you remember that gumball episode where darwin becomes mega paranoid after watching a health and safety video so to quell his anxiety he goes out of his way to make everything kid friendly and inoffensive by propositioning it as being for the children and then he becomes a fascist at the end

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i'm like if a cool knight or warrior didn't have any muscles or strength and wasn't very brave or confident and had no strong convictions or motivation and couldn't fight

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Currently listening to Sue Me by Sabina Carpenter in the uber ride home

The army can suck my dick and balls

Just got released from the army LMAOOOI SUCK MY DICK AND BALLS

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Just got released from the army LMAOOOI SUCK MY DICK AND BALLS

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I absolutely celebrate and I will do so by leaving my house, which I can do, unlike that human trash bag.

Happy Jair Bolsonaro ankle monitor day for all those who celebrate

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Happy Jair Bolsonaro ankle monitor day for all those who celebrate

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scars in fiction: I got this trying to save my lover from an assassin- but tragically, I was too late. now I carry the mark of my failure with me always, and I can never forget~

scars in real life: so I was trying to open macaroni sauce with a paring knife

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so fucking stupid that meds literally work. "swallow this pebble it makes you think" hateful

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"the western narratives around opponents of western hegemony are often biased and distorted and not actually reflective of reality and shouldn't be taken uncritically"

yes absolutely

"so the best way to counteract those biased narratives is to uncritically believe whatever the counternarrative is"

no, you don't actually have to do that

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As much as I would LOVE to think this way at all times, I genuinely do think that you need to be able to recognize when you are being shitty, even when the other person doesn't explicitly tell you that.

Of course, this is harder for neurodivergent folk, and this does cause me anxiety, so maybe the best would be a middle ground. I try to always think through my anxiety and ask myself "Am I potencially being shitty?" And then depending on how I feel about my answer, I'll try to talk to them, or choose to believe that they aren't mad. Sometimes, they ARE mad, but if I can't see a negative angle to my actions, I stop thinking about that as a possibility.

Of course, this is REALLY hard, but it's a skill. In any case, unfortunately you do have a responsability to be aware that sometimes people feel genuinely hurt by your actions even if they don't tell you directly for whatever reason.

“no one’s ever mad at me unless they tell me so” is the best assumption i’ve ever made

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i’m going to burst into tears. such a hauntingly stupid and wonderful phrase to immortalize somewhere. LOOK AT PIttbert!