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lucyjay · 3 years

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Finally (I.ck)

You and Changkyun have been fuck buddies for a while now but all it takes for both of you to realise your true feelings is a make out session with Lee Taeyong.

Pairing: I.M ( Changkyun) x fem. reader ft. Lee Taeyong x reader

Genre: smut, fluff

Word count: 3.3k

Warnings: kissing, sexual touching, unprotected sex (wrap it up fellahs), swearing, slight degradation, mentions of hate sex, possessiveness

Being a Starship Ent backup dancer meant not only following their groups in award shows and live performances, but most of the times even enjoying a couple after parties. And that’s how you found yourself trapped between a wall and Lee Taeyong’s mouth, gasping for air while he is devouring with all the strength he can master after rocking a live stage for 30′ straight.

“Every single fucking time I see you, I’m trying to control myself not to take you right there and then on stage”, he states between moans while his tongue trails down your jawline only to cease at your neck.

You can feel yourself getting wet already but you know making out with Taeyong at a party held by the industry’s biggest companies is risky and irresponsible to say the least. Have you been craving for his touch since you saw him performing a couple hours ago? Yes. Have you always wondered how he would feel like buried balls deep inside you while you scream his name? Hell yeah. You don’t wanna pass on sex with Taeyong but you need to take it somewhere safer.

“Tae, let’s go back to your hotel”, you manage to let out and you feel his smile against your skin when he nods positively. He grabs your hand but before you get to take a single step, you hear a voice calling your name causing you to freeze in your spot. A voice you would recognise amongst hundreds of screaming voices.

You both turn to face the man standing a couple meters behind you, resting his weight against the wall you were pinned against only moments ago.

“How about this scenario”, he starts and waves his hand in the air like a maestro leading an orchestra,”...Taeyong fucks off back to his hotel and cuddles with one of his 327 members, and you stay your ass exactly where you are? Sounds better to me”, his dark tone sends shivers down your spine.

You can feel Taeyong’s confused eyes on your frame and you wish the earth could swallow you whole right there and then. But then again why? You and Changkyun aren’t a couple. He has no business telling you what or what not to do.

“Kyunah, am I missing something? I’m sure Y/N wants to join me back at mine so, if you don’t mind”, the older chuckles and turns to leave when Changkyun’s voice stops you once again.

“That’s the thing Taeyong. You are missing something and Y/N isn’t going anywhere with anyone but me. It’s not your fault, it’s between me and her so please”, the younger one was cut off mid sentence.

“Ah, I see you even dropped your honorifics”, Taeyong turns to you his hand still holding yours, “... I think he is mad at you Y/N.”, he teases and you take a deep breath preparing for the shit to hit the fan because you know that the last thing one should do when Changhyuk gets like this, would be to tease him. Tae turns his gaze back unto the slightly taller man’s frame. “ I think It should be her who decides what she wants to do. Don’t you?.”, he pauses, “...Changkyunah”, the name leaving his lips dipped in irony and you know this is it.

Changkyun takes a step towards your direction and his frame is towering above yours and Taeyong’s body at this point. He chuckles allowing his gaze to drop on the floor while taking a deep breath possibly to end the lot of you, you think to yourself.

“Taeyongah, how about you let her hand go. Unless you want your group’s dance line to be 2 legs short”, his tone now serious with no room for games and tease. Taeyong lets out a breath and focuses his attention back on your face. Before he manages to allow any words to leave his mouth you interrupt him, placing a hand on his chest.

“Oppa, let me sort out this misunderstanding with Changkyun and I’ll join you later on. Is that ok? I know there’s gonna be a party at your hotel anyway so, you’ll see me there. Is that ok?”, you use the sweetest tone you can master while batting your eyelashes at him and you have him melting under your stare.

“Sure thing baby. See you later”, he agrees and lets your hand go. After placing a soft kiss on your cheek he turns to Changkyun. “..have a good one man. See you around”, and with a chuckle he turns to leave, leaving you and the dark haired man standing next to you staring at each other and you swear you would be able to cut the tension with a knife at this point.

You don’t get to even think of something to say, when his grip is on your arm literally dragging you up the staircase near the entrance of the space the event is being held at. You try to keep up with his step, pushing yourself to run when you realise that there is no way he will loosen his hold on you till you reach whichever destination he is guiding you towards. When you get to a couple floors above the one you were at a few moments ago, you realise that he is taking you where the group’s rooms are.

“I didn’t know you had rooms in this hotel as well. Why are the dancer’s at a different hotel t-..”, he cuts you off by placing his finger on your lips. You hold a breath and for the first time get to stare straight at him. His eyes are dark and they hold something unknown to you. Something you haven’t seen before; it’s not lust, it’s not anger...

“Stop trying to read me for fuck’s sake”, he spits and opens the door in front of you, pushing you inside, locking it once he gets in the room as well. He lets out a breath, his back leaning against the door, his head tilted back and his eyes glued at the ceiling as he is trying to calm himself down.

You don’t know what to do. You don’t understand his behaviour and you know he isn’t planning on helping you to do so. You turn and walk towards the large window nonchalantly roaming your gaze at the city that spreads before you. The view is breathtaking and for a fraction of a second you allow yourself to think of the beauty of the view instead of the raging man behind you. This however doesn’t last long. Moments after, you feel two arms caging you in a hug. You can feel his body glued to yours and his chin resting on the crook of your neck.

“Distress and fear”. he whispers against your neck and the feeling of his warm breath against your skin has your eyes rolling back inside your head. “what?”, you ask and your voice comes out so quiet that you’re surprised he heard you.

“You were trying to understand what I was feeling. Distress and fear. Distress because i saw Lee fucking Taeyong eating your face like a fucking animal and fear because I was scared you would actually chose to go with him”, his tone isn’t weak anymore and you can sense him sliding back into character. His usual character. The annoying, bratty, aggressive, spoiled motherfucker you know. You shake him off and take a step away from him, walking up and down the space between the bed and the sofa trying to gather your thoughts just so that you won’t slap him right there and then.

“Let me get this straight because I assume you are mistakenly under the impression that you get to boss me around”, you take a short breath, “...you got mad because I, a single, free woman, chose to make out with a hot dude and then you were scared that I would chose him over you? First of all, what I do with my mouth and my pussy is none of your business and second of all. I don’t remember being given an option back there. All I remember was me being forced to agree with a 25 year old brat only because I knew that you would throw a fucking tantrum as you always do whenever you don’t get what you want.”, you finally stop and stare at him only to find his eyes already on you, wide open in shock. You can feel a dryness in your throat and you get a hint that you might have been actually screaming, but you don’t care, you have had enough of this behaviour.

“Whenever I don’t get what I want?”, he speaks and his voice though strong, carries an undertone of hurt. “ I throw a tantrum whenever I don’t get what I want?”, he continues louder and takes a step towards your direction. You take a step back only to feel the edge of the bed meeting the back of your knee.

“Let me tell you how I see it then, because I feel like you are mistakenly under the impression that your behaviour is acceptable without realising that you’re being a bitch. You wanna fuck? You come to me. You wanna disappear for a week? You disappear for a week-”

“That happened once”, you cut him off understanding what incident he is talking about.

“And i found you at a club, climbed up on a motherfucker’s lap.”, he shouts and his voice makes you jolt. “ I throw a tantrum whenever i don’t get what i want? The only time you saw me talking, TALKING’, he emphasises, “ to another girl you started flirting with Kihyun. Are you for fucking real? Who goes crazy when they don’t get things their way? You are the spoiled brat here not me.’, he brushes his fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm himself down.

“I don’t know what you feel. I can never tell what you’re thinking. How am I supposed to act?”, you say and your voice is now soft. You don’t want to push him because you find truth in his words and even though it hurts, you want to make it right.

“Why would I? Why would I let you understand? Why would I open up to someone who cares about me only when she wants a good fuck? You think it’s easy for me, holding back?”, he is standing right in front of you, not even a meter in between you, ducking slowly so that his face would be on the same level as yours. You lift your gaze to look at him and you see tears pooling in his eyes.

Your chest feels heavy and you have to fight back your own tears from falling, not even knowing what they’re for. It’s getting harder to breathe yet all you want to do is hug the man in front of you. Not knowing why, or how that would help the mess unraveling between the two fo you, but all you can think about is offering him some comfort the only way you know how; physical contact.

And that’s what you do, throwing your hands around his neck, your chest flashed against his and your chin resting on his shoulder. Your actions catch him off guard, you can tell, because it takes him a couple seconds to return the hug. But his does, his hands now toying with your hair while he pushes his entire body against yours.

Your fingers are drawing meaningless shapes on his back, slowly traveling down to his lower body eventually resting on his ass and you push your lower part against his. He groans and quickly pushes you away.

“Are you for real right now? You’re doing it again. You’re using sex again. You are un-fucking-believable”, an ironic laugh slips his lips and he throws you a glare that makes you feel both stupid and small.

“That’s what we do Chan. We fight and we have make up sex or hate sex or whatever. Don’t act like you don’t enjoy it. And if that’s the case then I’m sorry if I ever pushed you to do something you didn’t feel comfortable doing. As the older person here I should be the one-”

“Oh shut up, will you.”, he snaps, eyes locked with yours. “Don’t patronise me Y/N”.

“I see you have completely given up on your honorifics today, Taeyong was right”, you throw and you regret the snarky comment the moment it leaves your mouth.

“I always use titles that match one’s actions. There are times that I call you noona and that i’m being polite. Then there’s moments when you’re acting like a bitch. So today, that’ll be the title I’m going with. Bitch.”, he growls and you know that your pussy shouldn’t be throbbing like that at his words. Your palms shouldn’t be sweaty and the only thing you want to do now shouldn’t be to let him take you on every single surface inside this bloody hotel room.

You push your legs together in a useless attempt to calm the muscles dancing in your core. It doesn’t go unnoticed by him and he lets out a light chuckle while shaking his head in dispute.

“Clothes off”, his voice comes out so calm and you feel bewitched. Staring at him you do as he says, getting rid of every piece of clothing hugging your body and move on to lay down on the bed. His stare is dancing on your figure, lingering a second or two more on your breasts, your curves. God, he has never seen a more perfect human being but he can’t let you know that. His pride won’t allow him to admit it.

Following your actions, he takes off his clothes throwing them on a pile next to yours on the floor, and move up on the bed, his body now hovering above yours, his waist resting between your thighs.

His hand plays with your breast, harshly pinching the sensitive bud before capturing it in his mouth causing the first loud moan to escape your lips. He teases with his tongue a bit more and then focuses his attention back on your face. You throw your hands around his neck and push him onto you, crashing your lips together. You kiss him softly, tenderly and it shocks you how much emotion you let out on a simple kiss.

That’s not your usual self. You never show him your true emotions when you kiss or fuck. How pathetic? You think to yourself. The backup dancer who fell in love with a famous idol. The realisation of how dangerous this all is hits you like a truck and you halt all your movements, detaching your lips from his.

Changkyun gives you a confused look as you gently push him off of you, but he refuses to move an inch, trying to catch your eyes, looking for any sort of hint, feeling or explanation.

“What’s wrong”, he asks softly and he places a hand on your cheek, slowly caressing your skin.

“Chan, I-i can’t. I need to go”, you let out and your eyes are now scanning the room trying to locate your clothes when he grabs your jaw in his hand, forcing you to look at him.

“You can and you won’t go anywhere. You want me? Tell me Y/N, do you want me?”, he radiates so much tension and you understand that this must be hard for him as well. Fuck it, it’s now or never.

“I’m in love with you. I know I shouldn’t, you can’t even date for fuck’s sake. It’s so stupid of me, I’ve been so stupid Chan, thinking that I wouldn’t get attached if I just acted like I didn’t, but I can’t do it anymore.”, you plead and you can feel tears rolling down your cheeks. “ Please end this. End this between us because I don’t have the strength to do it”, you hide your face inside your palms trying to not burst into a full sob.

He takes your hands in his and moves them from your face. There’s a smile jeweling his beautiful lips and you can’t help but feel a wave of heat spreading in your chest. Next thing you can feel is his hard member pushing slowly into you, filling you up so good and all you can do is moan out his name.

He sets a slow, steady pace that has you seeing stars. His lips kissing your mouth, cheeks, neck, softly biting the skin on your shoulder. You feel so close to him, you can feel the heat his body radiates, his heartbeat and suddenly it’s too much yet perfect. You allow yourself to get drown in this emotion, get swallowed by this man’s aura.

“Will you be my girlfriend? Be mine baby, please”, he whispers next to your ear before he gently bites on your lob. You moan out his name feeling closer to your high with every thrust, every word, every move. He doesn’t stop, he keeps fucking into you slowly but more harshly than before causing his pelvic area to slam against your oversensitive clit with every push.

“Chan, please I-I’m close-”, your whine gets lost in your own moans.

“Answer me first. Will you..”, he thrusts so deep inside you that you can feel him touching that soft spot that has your body going numb. “...be”, he says and thrusts again, with the same speed and strength and you can feel your release approaching. “...my girlfriend?”, he pushes inside you for the last time and you can only scream out your answer not caring about anyone else hearing you.

“Yes, yes. Please”, you plead and you know you won’t last more than a few more second. You stare at him and you can feel his dick twitching inside you causing your pussy to clench around the member. He is not moving, he stays still, balls deep inside you, staring at you lovingly and in all honesty you don’t need much more in order to cum.

“Cum for me baby, let it go”, he whispers while leaving soft kisses on your face and your body obeys, releasing around his member, clenching tighter again and again as you moan out his name. You can feel him spilling inside you, as he drops his entire body weight on yours, your hands playing with a couple strands of his hair.

It takes you a couple minutes for both of you to calm your breathings when you decide to break the silence.

“Changkyun, you can’t date”, you state and your tone melts like chocolate giving him goosebumps. He raises his head to take a look at your fucked out face and he knows that if he wasn’t already so head over heals for you, he would for sure fall in love right at this moment.

“I can do whatever I want”, he smiles.”I’m not some kind of pretty face that fills a gap in a group. What I write, what I sing and who I date are my decision.”, he continues and you can’t help but admit that you love this confident side of him. How he knows what his worth is and how not to take shit from anyone.

“Ok. I trust you.”, you smile and leave a shy peck on his lips.

“Finally for fuck’s sake”, he shouts and throws his head back laughing like a kid who won their first grand prize. You can’t help but laugh back at him when you realise that he is still buried inside you and you can feel him getting hard again.

“Babe, I think-”

“Round two?”, he asks with a devilish smile on his lips.

#kpop fanfic #monstax #monsta x fiction #monsta x smut #kpop smut #im changkyun #i.m monsta x #monsta x imagines #im changkyun smut #monsta x oneshot #monsta x fluff #lee taeyong #taeyong

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lucyjay · 3 years

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Silver (b.bh)

||You and Baekhyun have been friends for the past couple years. What happens when you both develop feelings for each other but no one has the courage to admit it?

Genre: smut (a bit of fluff)

Warnings: explicit language, alcohol consumption, teasing, unprotected sex ( balloon your baboons fellahs), dirty talk, oral sex, fingering, cum play, throat fucking, hair pulling, multiple orgasms

Words: 6.5k

You throw a final look at your reflection in the mirror and sigh. I look like shit, you think to yourself and make your way to the bathroom to finish straightening your hair. The last thing you are in the mood for is clubbing but guess who won’t take no for an answer?your friend Nat who borderline blackmailed you into either joining her and your friends tonight or finding all your embarrassing high school photos displayed on your insta tomorrow morning.

After managing to make your hair not look like you got out of a cat fight, you put on some make up which for you consists of 3 simple steps. Step 1, hiding the black shopping bags that jewel your under eyes, Step 2, some blush so that you don’t resemble a ghost and Step 3, mascara. The final result looks better than you anticipated when you started getting ready over an hour ago.

A simple black baggie-t’shirt style dress, a pair of black boots, your straight hair naturally hugging your shoulders, falling all the way down to your waist and last your make up which thank god hides the fact that you’ve worked a total of 60 hours this week. It’s a nice, fresh spring night and you reckon you’d be okay without a jacket on. You throw your keys, phone and credit card in a small bag and make your way out of your apartment. Your find your uber already waiting for you outside the main entrance of the building, you jump in and decide to give your friend a call to check if they are already at the club.

“Hola”, her high pitched voice makes you chuckle, she still sounds like a 5 year old girl just like when you first met her.

“Hola. Sooo, I’m on my way, I should be there in like 20′ max. Who else is coming? Please tell me Sehun and Taeyong will be there? Taeyong promised he would make time if i joined you”, you protest already used to one of your best friends, Taeyong canceling on you lastminute.com because of work.

“They are already with me babe and we should reach the club in 10′ or so. Sara and Jaebum are coming as well, Bam is DJ’ing, oh and ahm”, she pauses and your heart starts racing subconsciously knowing what she is about to say. “..Baekhyun is coming”. You swear at her for not letting you know earlier and she mumbles apologies which leave you completely untouched.

“Nat, you did it on purpose”, you try to keep your tone calm only because your uber driver is already giving you some “lady keep your voice down” looks through the rear mirror.

“I didn’t but even if I did so what? We are all friends and it’s completely childish of both of you to put us in a position where we have to go out with each of you separately. Bam is worried and Sehun is having abandonment issues”, she whines dramatically and you hear Sehun in the background screaming, “I just want my friends back, oh god, please”, a fake cry following his oscar-worthy performance as you hear Taeyong burst into laughter a bit further in the background.

“Ok ok! I don’t care. I’m done playing his little games anyway. I wanna drink and have fun. See you in a bit”, you reply and hang up. The uber has reached the city centre and your gaze in boring outside the window looking at the people and the buildings but not really paying attention to anything. All you can think about is him. How things have completely gone to shit when they were so promising. You and Baekhyun met a a couple years ago when he started hanging out with Sehun who he met at work. The latest then brought him into your group and he clicked with all of you straight away.

Fast forward to a a few months ago, you were at one of BamBam’s house parties chilling and chatting away when he confessed that he likes you and he has been into you since the day he met you catching you completely off guard. You, having been crushing on the boy since the moment you laid your eyes on him, did what no 26 year old, sane woman would do and just bailed. Literally left him there, drink in hand, mouth hanging open in shock and you just left the house, got inside a taxi and went home. You were so embarrassed over your reaction and disappointed in yourself for ruining the perfect chance to be with the biggest crush you’ve had since middle school, that you couldn’t even bring yourself to message an apology to him. A few days later you all met at a cafe and that’s when it started. He was so cold and sulky towards you and who could blame him? But he was overdoing it to the point that it started pissing you off. You couldn’t get him to talk to you alone and eventually managed to get you to not stand being with him in the same room. Every time you met since then, it was just a verbal war between the two of you, full of sneaky insults and hurtful jokes with a drizzle of swear words and some whipped sarcasm on top.

“It’s just one night out. How bad can it get?”, you whisper only for your own ears to hear you. The uber slows down outside the club, you thank your driver and step out of the vehicle, gently closing the door behind you. The queue for the club isn’t too long and you can spot Nat,Tae and Sehun waiting on the left side where the VIP queue is forming. Sehun waves at you eagerly and you make your way to their direction.

“At least she is wearing a dress and not pyjamas”, Sehun teases and lifts you up in a hug that made you almost gasp for air.

“I am overworked, not lame. I now how to dress for a night out”, you spit back faking annoyance and the younger boy raises his hands in defence.

“Tough week at work?”, Taeyong asks as all four of you walk towards the entrance of the club.

“Everybody decided to get married at the end of summer apparently, so considering that I have to organise 9 weddings within the next 4 months, I would say tough year.”, you pause and your eyes follow the direction Taeyong is looking at and...there he is. Locking his car dressed like a bloody model straight out of a Vogue photoshoot. Black jeans, loose blue shirt, a silk navy blue scarf around his neck and a pair of black boots. “...and it’s not about to get better”, you finish your sentence.

Him being ridiculously attractive should have been something you were used to by now, but you haven’t seen him in almost a month and in all honesty you almost forgot how easily he makes your entire body go numb just by standing there not even looking at you. Too lost in your own thoughts you haven’t noticed him standing next to you greeting the others, ‘till he turns his attention to you. His hair is silver. Fuck him and his ability to look good in everything. Fuck him and his gorgeous face, you think to yourself.

“Your hair is longer”, he says in the most indifferent tone. Is this his idea of a greeting? Asshole, you think.

“Your hair is bloody silver”, you reply, your eyes not leaving his. He serves you a slight side smile and you can feel the insides of your palms getting sweaty.

“Looks good doesn’t it?”, he throws a rhetorical question not really waiting for an answer. You tsk and roll your eyes at him while quickly turning to get inside the club. BamBam was near the entrance to greet you and show you which table he reserved for you and your friends. You follow him and he leaves you shortly after to go and prepare his station for his set next to the man currently DJ’ing.

“I’m gonna go get drinks, what do you want?”, Baekhyun asks the rest of you.

“Let’s just get a bottle”, Nat proposes and you nod. “tequila or Vodka?”, she asks.

“Tequila”, you and Baekhyun shout in unison and you turn to look at each other. Are the lights in here making him look even more attractive or is it just you being horny for him? You give yourself a mental slap.

“Tequila is good”, Sehun adds. Baekhyun makes his way to the bar and Nat moves to your side, leaning next to your ear so that she doesn’t need to scream on top of the music.

“Make a move”, she says and you almost choke on your own spit.

“Are you insane? Haven’t you been around lately? I guess not. Let me fill you in. In the last episode of Season 2, he hates me. End of story”, you reply and she chuckles.

“He doesn’t hate you. He is just still hurt by your reaction back then. And you are clearly into him. Like, it’s clear like the sun. Like, I can see you undressing him with your eyes. I could legit-...”

“That’s enough! I got your point”, you cut her off and really wish Baek could get his ass there already cause you swear you would love to down that entire bottle of tequila right now.

“Babe, talk to him. It’s a shame. You have had feelings for each other for so long. You can’t just..leave it.”, she says and her tone is soothing and understanding. You turn to look at her and nod causing her to smile widely and clap her hands like a little kid who just got her birthday gift. A minute later Baek shows up with two bottles of tequila inside a bucket and a waitress follows right behind him with a tray full of glasses and ice which she lays on your table.

A few drinks down and you find yourself relaxed enough to be dancing with Taeyong like there’s no tomorrow, rocking some crazy moves perfectly nsync with BamBam’s wild beats. Taeyong’s hands are on your waist and you rest your head on his shoulder, your back against his chest as you sing every single lyric of the song currently blasting.

“I need another drink”, he screams over the music. You nod and make your way to the table where you find Nat and Sehun talking to Jaebum and Sara, a couple Nat met whilst on holidays in Japan, who happened to be from the same city as the rest of you. You chat with them for a few minutes, sipping on your drink when you realise you haven’t seen Baekhyun since returning to the table. After scanning the area around you, your gaze falls on Nat’s who mouths a silent “outside” to you, as if she has read your thoughts. You excuse yourself and make your way through the intoxicated crowd, eventually reaching the exit of the club. You step on the pavement and look up and down both directions to see if you can spot Baek. On the left side of the doors, a few meters away you can distinguish a frame that looks like him. You slowly make your way towards the man and after a few steps you can see his face clearer under the dull lighting the lamppost covers the corner of the street with. He was staring at the ground, cigarette in between his index and middle finger. You clear your throat and he turns to look at you.

“Oh sorry, I didn’t see you”, he says calmly, taking a puff of his cigarette, quickly letting a line of smoke out of his nostrils.

“You smoke”, you say and it’s more like a realisation and less like a question. Your stare drifts off of his face and down to his feet as if his shoes are the most interesting thing to you.

“Yes, got a problem with that?’, he turns to look at you and you raise your head to meet his eyes. You can’t read him. You never could. He looks unbothered yet sounds annoyed. It’s so frustrating and you swear at yourself for even thinking of approaching him. You scoff and turn to leave, sure that you’re clearly not wanted there.

“That’s the second time”, he says and his voice is low but you can sense a weak scent of irony lingering at the end of his word. You stop in your trucks and turn to face him.

“What was that?”, you ask.

“It’s the second time you walk away from me. There won’t be a third”, his statement catches you off guard but you’re not planning on letting him see the affect his words have on you.

“I suppose you came out here to get some air, I wanted to check if you’re alright but you’re clearly not up for a chat. Am I wrong for thinking that the best thing to do was to excuse myself?”, you regret the slight sarcasm in your words which was completely unintended. His attention lands on your face. There’s at least 2 meters distance between yourself and him but for some reason you feel like you’re suffocating. His presence is so strong that you can’t even think straight. Without taking his eyes off of yours, he throws his cigarette somewhere to the side and with two steps he is standing right in front of you. You can smell the smoke on him but it doesn’t bother you; his cologne in combination with his addictive natural scent are enough to make your head hazy. He shouldn’t be able to affect you like this.

“Excuses”, his voice comes out like a loud whisper and you feel embarrassed at how it makes your entire lower body go numb and the sensitive area between your legs pulsate. His stare is so heavy that it almost makes you feel small. He moves a bit closer to you and you can almost feel his body touching yours.

“Baekhyun, I’m...”, your voice fades out unable to complete the sentence. Your eyes still on his like magnets. You can’t see anything around you but him.

“Finish your sentence Y/N”, he says calmly. You gather all the courage you could before you allow the confessions that you have been battling all these months, come out. It’s so hard but you know you have to. You have to give it a shot.

“I’m sorry. For that day.”, you say and his features rest in a slight shock which only encourages you to continue.

“I’m sorry i left you like that and that I didn’t explain myself. I’m sorry that I never called you after what happened. But what I’m not sorry about is what happened afterwards. You were so mean to me and you refused to talk to me. Your behaviour was horrible and I don’t take back anything I’ve said to you every time we fought”. You swear your knees are about to give out and your breathing is so heavy that you can feel your chest rising and falling as if you were running. You heart beating in your head is making you dizzy and you pray that you won’t just faint right there and then.

“You don’t regret anything you’ve said to me all the times we fought?”, he asks and you feel a pinch of annoyance that this was the only part of your paragraph long monologue he chose to focus on.

“Nothing. You started every single fight”, your statement came out strong and your voice way too stable given your current state. You congratulate yourself in your head. As if that was even possible, Baekhyun steps even closer to you, now trapping you between his body and the wall. You can feel his torso pushing yours backwards only for the back of your waist to land on his right hand, his left one resting on the wall slightly brushing your cheek.

“I swear I would take you against this fucking wall just to shut this annoying mouth of yours”, his lips almost touching yours. You can feel his breath on your face and his words wake the butterflies in your stomach. You’re mad at yourself for feeling so weak under his stare. It takes you a few seconds to realise that you have been holding in a breath. You just stand there, frozen, eyes glued on his honey brown ones when the words roll out of your tongue without second thought.

“Why don’t you then?”, you speak in a low voice that even gives you goosebumps. Your boldness surprises him and he shakes his head.

“I shouldn’t. I-..”

“Excuses”, you cut him off and you catch him so off guard that if it wasn’t for you being an absolute mess right now, his shocked stare would have had you chuckling. He raises his hand to caress your cheek and the way his knuckles softly touch your skin makes your entire body shiver. He doesn’t allow you to let the sudden skinship action sink in when he tilts his head only to rest his forehead against yours.

“I don’t know what to do with you anymore. Please tell me Y/N. Just tell me what you want”, he pleads and the entirety of your body heat is now resting on your face. You have never seen Baekhyun like this, basically asking you to take the upper hand. You rest your arms on his and connect your hands behind his neck.

“I want you Baekhyun. I don’t even remember how it was not to want you.”, you inhale and the air entering your nostrils feels too hot “...let’s go back to yours.Or mine, I don’t care”. The moment you finished your sentence Baekhyun’s hand was on yours, already guiding you towards the direction of his car. He open the door for you to get in and a second later he jumps in the driver’s seat.

Baekhyun’s eyes are glued on the road and his grip on the wheal is strong. You take a minute to examine his side profile and your eyes linger on each of his beautiful features. His beautiful honey-brown eyes, his straight nose and his soft, pink lips that are currently pressed into a thin line as if he is trying hold back a river of words threatening to fall out. Your hands are resting on your thighs which you’re pressing together in a desperate attempt to ease the buzzing in your lower area. You are already so embarrassingly wet, even though Baek hasn’t even touched you, which makes you realise how wrong all your past partners must have been treating you. Not able to stand the distance between the two of you, you place your hand on top of his right thigh, slowly dancing your fingers up and down the area. He shakes his head, momentarily closing his eyes only to open them a second later. His stare is intense but you can’t read it properly.

“Babe...”, he says and your hand movement stops at the sound of the nickname. Feeling more aroused by the second, you bend slightly over so that your lips are brushing against his ear.

“What...babe?”, you tease and he grips the wheel with such strength that it looks like he is trying to break it in half.

“Finish your sentence Baek”, you continue and at this point you know you’re playing with fire. He turns to give you a look for a split second, his eyes filled with something unknown to you and a slight smirk is gracing his beautiful lips.

“Sit back properly, take off your underwear and open your legs.”, you’re looking at him, eyes wide open in shock. His habit of bossing you around would normally have you ignoring his ass, maximum serving him an eyeroll as a response, but now it’s different. Your brain hasn’t even had the time to comprehend the possible consequences of his request, when you find your hands slowly sliding the sides of your underwear down your legs. Before you manage to even speak a word, his slender fingers are caressing the inside of your thighs and you throw your head back, eyes shut in an attempt to keep yourself under control. His middle finger and index travel all the way to your sensitive area and you let out a low gasp when you feel them on your heat.

“Holy fuck...”, he says and inserts one finger inside your throbbing pussy. You moan out his name as his digit is hitting you exactly on the right spot and you can’t see it but there’s a victory smile resting on his lips.

“Baek wait...”, you try to complain but it’s in vain. He adds a second finger and while keeping his eyes on the road, one hand on the wheel, driving almost at 150 km/h, he is steadily bringing you closer and closer to your orgasm. You turn your head to the side, your eyes linger on his frame when you start feeling a knot forming on the lower part of your abdomen. You gather all the strength left in your body to lift your arm and tangle your fingers with his silver locks, slightly pulling his head backwards. He hisses and fastens the tempo of his fingers, his palm now coming in contact with your clit. You know you aren’t going to last long. Your walls start pulsating around his skilful digits and the car stops at a red light which finally allows him to focus his attention on you for at least a few seconds.

“I can’t wait to feel you clenching around my dick baby”, he says and you can feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm.

“Does my baby like dirty talk?”, he teases you and you pull his hair a tad stronger than before.

“I want you to come before the light turns green, you have approximately..”, he pauses to calculate the other traffic lights at the crossing, “...10-15 seconds?”, he adds driving his fingers in and out your pussy at a frenzy rhythm. You can’t handle the tension anymore.

“Baek, I can’t-...”, you swear you could cry with all this tension gathered on your lower body. You’re so close you can sense your orgasm.

“9..”, he says, his eyes piercing yours.

“Fuck, no I can’t”, you close your eyes, trying to control your body. It’ll be too much, you don’t want to come here in his car.

“Open your eyes and look at me. 6″, he counts and you do as you’re told. His palm hitting your sensitive clit is sending vibrations all the way to your head and you swear you wouldn’t be able to spell out your own name at this moment if you had to.

“I’m so close, I’m- Baek please...’, you whine and you can feel your walls clenching like crazy, swallowing his fingers. He places his other hand around your neck, squeezing gently and you’re a goner. Your orgasm crushes through you like fireworks and you can’t stop yourself from grinding down against his fingers, greedily trying to ride the explosive feeling out.

“That’s my girl”, he flashes you a satisfied smile and removes his fingers from your pussy at once. You grimace at the loss of contact but you’re too occupied trying to gather your thoughts and get yourself together, to pay further attention. The car is already on the move and before you can fathom what’s happening, he is parking in front of a building. Your eyes feel heavy but only at the thought of what’s coming, you feel the knot in your stomach tighten again. Baek steps out of the car and opens the door for you. You take a second to put your underwear back on, and you step outside the vehicle likewise. He locks it and starts walking towards the entrance of the block of flats before you, his hand in yours as your steps shadow his. You walk up the stairs and stop at the first floor. He stands outside a door and takes out his keys to unlock it when he turns to face you for the first time since he had you coming all over his fingers in his car.

“Before we get in I need to tell you something”, he warns and his eyes are examining your face. You step closer to him, your arm brushing against his.

“What is it Baek?”, your voice sounds so sweet and the way you say his name has him melting.

“If we do this, there’s no disappearing in the morning. There’s no going back to how things were. If you don’t want to stay and if you don’t want to be with me, leave now. This can’t be a one-time thing for me. That’s not what I want.”, he takes a deep breath as if he just gave the most important speech of his life. Your mouth hangs open at his sudden confession and you feel a stink of guilt that you’ve made him so uneasy; scared that you would run away from him and disappear. You grab his keys and unlock the door which opens wide in front of you. You step inside his flat and turn your head to face him.

“Do you prefer eggs or pancakes for breakfast?”, you ask him while taking off your shoes. He steps in and shuts the door behind him. Walking backwards you start unbuttoning your dress, “...I prefer something sweet in the morning to be honest”, you’re teasing and you reach the last button. You take another step backwards and you can feel his eyes burning on you. He is following each step you take, mirroring your movements now taking off his shirt. You let the dark fabric of your dress fall down your body and pool around your ankles. Baekhyun stops in his tracks, half naked and the lust in his eyes could make you come right there and then. You are about to take another step backwards when he nods you negatively.

“Don’t move”, the words come out as a soft command and you listen, standing there only in your lace black underwear, looking at him basically begging him to do something. He hasn’t even kissed you. He is the only man that has given you an orgasm without touching you anywhere else, not even a peck on the lips. He takes his time roaming his gaze along your body, his eyes resting on your breasts a second longer.

“I want you to kiss me”, you let out before you realise the words leaving your mouth. He focuses his attention back on your face and your body is about to burst from the need to feel him closer in any way. He is slowly walking towards you while taking off his trousers, leaving his body now covered only by his black boxers.

“Your entire face is blushing, you’ve been squeezing your thighs together, your breathing is unsteady and you’re giving me blowjob eyes”, hie finishes his sentence when standing a breath away from you. “...you want me to do more than just kiss you baby”, you release a breath you didn’t know you were holding in and he smiles. He is so infuriating standing there, laughing at the misery he has put you in. You can’t let him play you like this.

“If you think you can..-”

“Shut up”, he says and you can’t tell who initiated it but his lips are on yours, kissing and biting as if your mouth is the last source of air and he needs it to survive. His right hand finds purchase on your ass, squeezing tightly pushing you closer to his body and his other hand grabs the back of your head, deepening the kiss. You can feel your underwear sticking on your dump heat and you squeeze your legs together trying to give yourself some comfort. Baekhyun breaks the kiss, bringing his lips next to your ear.

“Is my baby wet?Again?”, he cooes and you wanna smack him across the face because he fucking knows you are.

“Yes I am, and if you don’t do something about it soon I’m gonna have to get myself off”, you lilt and turn to enter his room. It’s way cosier than you would have imagined, with a queen size bed in the middle. You seat at the edge of it and you open your legs as seductively as you can, covering the fact that they’re shivering in anticipation. He enters the room and his eyes are darker than before, his erection clearly visible through his boxers making your mouth water. You cock an eyebrow at him but he doesn’t move. That’s it, you can’t waste anymore time waiting for him to do something. You get up and get on your knees in front of him, removing his underwear with a single movement before you place your palm around his shaft.

“What the fuck Y/N”, he breathes out and his knees turn weak under your touch.

“I’m done waiting for you Byun. Took you 2 years to kiss me. I can’t imagine how long it’ll take you to fuck me”, he is about to protest when you lean forward, putting his dick in your mouth, your nose against his lower belly. His complain turns into a moan when he throws his head back, hands now landing in your hair, pulling slightly. Your lips move around his member, followed by your tongue, hand resting on his balls slightly massaging them. You lick a long stripe from the base of his dick, all the way to the end while pressing your lips around it and then release it with a slight ‘pop’. A string of saliva connecting your mouth with his tip. You open your eyes only to find his intense stare already on your frame, cheeks on fire and mouth agape in an attempt to inhale as much air as he can.

“Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you look right now? I swear I would do anything, anything you want If I could only see you like this everyday”, his voice cracks at the last words and he is slightly releasing his grip on your hair. Your hand still working its way up and down his dick, you tilt your head onwards to give small kitty licks on his tip. You take his hand and while serving him a cheeky smile you place it so that his fingers are cupping the upper part of your neck, right under your jaw. It takes him a moment to understand what you’re thinking and when it hits him, he lets out a desperate breath. You move your chin in front of his dick, lips almost touching his slit currently dripping with pre-cum.

“Apologise for being an asshole these last few months”, you spit.

“Fuck you”. The moment the words slip his lips you open your mouth, taking him so deep that you can feel his tip touching the back of your throat. He moans out your name and you feel your pussy pulsating in the sound. It takes all the self control you can manifest in order to not sneak your fingers inside your knickers and relieve some of the tension.

“I can feel my dick down your throat baby, agh fuck”, he hisses and pulls your hair as you take him as deep as you can once again only that this time you keep him there, swallowing again and again with his dick buried as deep as your throat can take it. A tear rolls down your face and your gag reflex is threatening to kick in, but you refuse to let go before he begs.

“Fuck Y/N, please. please stop, I don’t wanna cum. Fuck please, don’t-”, you release him and you snap him your best victory smile. after whipping your mouth with the back of your palm. You get up and move towards the bed, this time laying on top of it.

“I think I prefer you begging than apologising”, you tease and an unintentional giggle follows.

“You fucking bitch”, he spits jokingly and you burst into laughter but it doesn’t last long. The next moment he is hovering on top of you, lips on yours, hands cupping every curve of your body unable to hold back anymore. He is devouring your neck, jaw and moves lower to leave dark marks on your breasts. In a swing movement he unclips your bra, throwing it behind him next to his long forgotten underwear. Your underwear is next and before you know it, his face is resting between your legs, blowing tiny waves of air on your heat, driving you crazier if that was even possible at this point. He plants small kisses around the area, next to your folds while his hands are massaging the inside of your thighs. Your head falls back to meet his soft pillow and you moan out his name, incapable of hiding the mess he has made of you. Without any warning his soft tongue crushes on your burning area, devouring you as if you were his last meal. Your head is now a foggy mess, hands tangled between his silver locks unconsciously pushing him against your pussy, desperate for more friction. He rests his tongue on your sensitive bud of nerves, dancing in slow circles when he enters two digits in you causing you to let out the most animalistic moan you’ve ever heard yourself producing. Your reaction was the confirmation he was seeking, as his tongue picks up its pace and so do his fingers, his name rolls off your tongue like a cursed poem, again and again until you can feel yourself falling off the edge. He lands a last kiss on your pubic bone as he slowly climbs up your body, now hovering above you. You open your eyes, realising you had them wide shut all this time, only to find his beautiful brown ones staring at you in the most loving way you’ve ever had anyone looking at you.

“So pretty”, he whispers and his fingers linger on your lips and make their way to your cheek where he leaves a shy kiss. You can feel his dick between your legs, yours thrown around his waist and you just stay there, in silence looking in each others eyes. You bring your hand to the side of his jaw only to pull him closer, planting a kiss on his lips. It’s not deep; it’s soft, and sweet, almost romantic. You break it after a few seconds and you rest your forehead on his. A word is about to escape your lips when he frantically drives his length inside you, hitting your g spot so hard that you almost choke at your own gasp.

“Baek, fuck”, you whine. He doesn’t say anything, he only pulls out a little bit and then thrusts back in, hitting that sweet spot that has you seeing stars. He does it again and again and again and you are a moaning mess, head thrown back, his diving in the crook of your neck, sucking, bitting, leaving purple spots in every area he can get his lips on.

“You want me to stop?”, he says out of breath without slowing down at the slightest. You attack his lips and the kiss is nothing like the one you just shared a few moments ago. It’s hungry and desperate and your tongues are fighting for dominance, both your mouths swallowing each others moans. You can feel your pussy throbbing around his dick and you know you wont last long. Baekhyun breaks the kiss but stays close so that his lips can still touch yours.

“Are you close baby? You want to cum? Want to come all over my dick?”, he breathes out and you moan out his name, paralysed under his touch.

“Baek I’m close-I’m gonna..”, a circular move of his hips almost brings you to the brink and you moan out cusses with no meaning. You clench around him once more and he lets out a loud groan.

“Y/N If you do that one more time I won’t be able to hold back. Please”, he pleads and you can see that he is trying to hold back so that you can finish first. His dick fucking into you at a relentless pace has your arms pulling his body closer to yours, nails digging in his back and you know these scratches will be visible for next few days.

“Baek I can’t hold it, please”, you moan out.

“Let go baby, let go. Cum for me”, he whispers next to your ear and there’s nothing in the world you want more than to feel him painting your insides with his orgasm.

“Cum inside Baek, Please, cum with me, ah-”, your orgasm hits you mid-sentence and you clench again and again as it keeps attacking your body in waves. After a couple thrusts you can feel him releasing into you as he lets his body collapse on top of yours, both of you battling to calm your breathing.

“I blame you for missing on the best sex I’ve ever had for the past two years”, you tease him softly and he chuckles. You raise your hand to place a stray hair behind his ear and you can’t help but notice the slight rosiness on his cheeks. ‘what?’, you ask flushing him your warmest smile.

“Be mine?”, his lets out as he rubs his nose against the tip of yours. Your heart skips a bit and a wave of warmth crushes through you, for you haven’t felt so happy in a long, long time.

“Hm, nope, thanks”, you giggle and you kiss him. He is taken aback by your reply, staring at you with eyes wide open like a frightened deer caught in the headlights.

“I’m joking baby”, you spit and burst into laughter.

“You bitch”, he laughs.

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lucyjay · 3 years

Text

Wrote this while waiting for my flight to depart. It’s also my second ever one shot, so excuse my possibly horrible writing. Peace.

Warnings: sexual content, unprotected sex (stay safe fellahs), touching, fingering, swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, crying, slight self image issues, fb2lovers

Love me - Christopher Bang/Bang Chan (SKZ)

Too bitter.You whisper to yourself after tasting the almost black tea you made in an effort to calm your nerves. Since the performance finished, you haven’t stopped thinking about Chris. You pray he won’t start blaming himself for messing up two steps from the choreo, but you know he will.

You’re not supposed to care about Chris in this depth, but you do. Your “relationship” started a few months ago, when you two locked eyes at a photography exhibition of a mutual friend and you clicked straight away. You knew you couldn’t be together; him being an idol and you trying to make a name for yourself after landing your dream job as a prosecutor. His world just didn’t allow the ‘gf/bf’ kinda thing and you didn’t want to push. You were just fuck bodies, there for each other when you needed to get off even have a talk sometimes, but that’s where you drew the line. Were you in love with him? Hell yes. How could you not be? But after weeks of overthinking about it, you concluded to not say anything to him because that would break rule 4 and consequently your ’relationship’. My heart is still safe, you thought to yourself, sipping your now sugar busted tea. ‘Ew, too sweet’, you give up placing the mug in the sink.

You were about to make your way back in the living room, when you heard a knock on your door. It wasn’t too late, but you weren’t expecting anyone. You curse at yourself for not insisting on having a peephole, but your landlord woulnd’t bother replacing your door with a new one. The moment you open it, your eyes land on Chris’s face. His eyes watery, his chest moving up and down as if he was running, smudged eye make up and messy hair. He is not ok.

“Chris, wha-..”, you dont manage to finish your sentence when you feel his strong hands cupping your cheeks and his lips on yours. He steps inside your flat, shutting the door closed with his leg, never breaking the kiss. His body is towering over yours even though you’re almost the same height, but he feels so needy, so intense. You place your arms around his neck, deepening the kiss, your tongue now exploring the inside of his mouth. He moans into the kiss before parting his soft lips from yours to take a breath.

“I need you”, his voice is a whisper. Only now you can smell the soju in his breath. Not too much, but he certainly has had a couple drinks.

“What’s wrong Chris?Tell me”, your left hand now stroking his cheek, your eyes searching his honey brown ones trying to find a hint, anything that will explain his current state.

“I’m not ok, Y/N, I’m sad and stressed and i do everything wrong, I can’t focus and I’m scared, I’m scared that if i keep being like this I will end up like before...I-I can’t, I can’t do this..”, his voice fades as he bursts into tears, resting his head in the small of your neck. You have no idea where this is coming from, you have no idea what to do or how to handle him being like this but you know that you can’t stand seeing him in this way. You curse at yourself for not allowing both of you to have deeper conversations, to get to know each other better. Had you done so, you would probably understand better what he is talking about.

You pat his back and slowly caress his hair with your left hand. You can feel him calming down as he tries to wipe a few tears off of his face. You look at his beautiful eyes and sigh.

“If it’s about the mistake you made at the performance, it was nothing. You were so good, no one would care-..”, he shakes his head nodding you to stop.

“Don’t. Don’t give me the same bullshit excuses everyone does. I am not good enough. I fuck up everything. I act like I have everything under control but I don’t”. His gaze is strong, never leaving your face and you can see the hurt in his features.

“What can I do? I can’t stand seeing you like this, tell me what I can do”, tears pooling in your eyes now. His face relaxes and he gives you a weak smile.

“I don’t want sex. I want love. I want to feel you. Please”. His hands are one back on the side of your cheek and one lifting you up motioning you to jump and hug his waist with your legs. You do so and he starts walking the two of you towards your room.

He walks in and after a couple steps you feel your back touching your soft mattress. He stares down at you, his eyes red from all the crying and slowly takes off his shirt. Then his trousers and underwear follow and you feel your cheeks being painted a light shade of pink as if it’s the first time you see him naked. He is so gorgeous, how could you ever get used to this?

In complete silence he reaches out to remove your sweatpants and underwear at once. You lift you lower half to help him do so and you grab your shirt, taking it off, leaving your body completely naked under his gaze. He stares at you as if you’re the first woman he has ever seen naked in real life.

“Beautiful”, he mumbles and lays his body on top of yours between your legs, connecting your lips. The kiss is slow but he deepens it straight away, demanding access with his tongue which you gladly grant him. His left hand is resting on your face, stroking your cheek and the other is making its way to your lower stomach. You sigh and moan into the kiss.

“Chris, how do you want me?”, you managed to get out. Your meetings with Chris were mostly about sex and he rarely had enough time, so asking him how he wanted you or him asking you how you wanted him, saved you time.

“I said I don’t want sex. I just want you. Love me”, he whispers and you can feel his sweet breath on your face while his skilful hand reaches your lower lips, slowly spreading the wetness to your clit and all the way around it. Your breath is stuck in your throat and your brain doesn’t know where to focus first. On what he is doing to you or the fact that he asked you to love him?

“Ch-Chris I...I can’t”, his enters one finger inside your heat while softly leaving kisses across your jaw line all the way up to your cheeks. “If we do this, I can’t go back. if I let go, we won’t be able to go back to what we had”, you whine trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to leave your eyes. His stare meets yours and he leaves a quick kiss on your lips.

“I don’t want us to go back. I want you to love me Y/N. Like I love you.” he kisses you again and you swear your soul is about to leave your body. “I want you to show me that you love me. And take care of me” he enters a second and third finger in you and you can’t help but moan out his name. “I want you to be mine and I want to be yours.” his thumb reaching up to dance in circles around your clit which sends you into overdrive. You can’t think and no words can leave your mouth as you feel the knot tightening in your lower stomach. You pull him down closer to your face connecting your lips in a hungry, needy kiss.

“God, I’m yours Chris, all yours”. You feel his hand ease its movement and you automatically open your eyes to look at him realising just now that you had them closed shut all this time.

“I want to feel you cuming around me”, he says and moves slightly to the right to grab a condom from your nightstand. You grab his arm and turn his attention back to you.

“No”, it sounds more like a soft command and you can tell he loves it. He kisses you again while aligning his dick with your entrance. Your entire body is moving up to meet his. He is like a magnet, how could you have not fallen for this man?

He slowly enters you and you can feel every inch of him stretching you out oh so beautifully. You close your eyes and feel his lips landing on the side of your neck leaving soft pecks and bites.

“So wet. So soft. So nice”, he mumbles and the moment you hear his voice the knot in your stomach makes its appearance once again. You try to follow his soft movements but it’s all too much. He barely moves, his thrusts deep but at the same time slow and soft, but it’s the feelings dancing through your body doing all the work. He is everywhere. You can feel him inside you, in your head, in your heart. Everywhere.

“I love you”, he says softly in your ear and a hard thrust follows his statement.

“I love everything about you”, he continues and you forget your own name.

“I love you Chris. Please, oh my god, I love you”, your voice comes out so weak but you don’t care. You can feel him smiling on your neck and he quickens his pace. You start seeing stars moaning his name again and again like a chorus.

“That’s it baby. Look at me”. He caresses your cheek, his eyes never leaving yours. “ Let go baby, I’ve got you”. His last statement drives you over the edge. You start clenching around him and you have no idea how you manage to let any words out but you have to have him cuming with you.

“Inside Chris, p-please I wanna feel you. Cum inside”. As if you turned a switch in him, with a final deep thrust that makes your orgasm last longer than any orgasm you’ve ever had before, he spills inside you again and again and you feel him all the way up into your stomach. You moan out his name a final time and then feel his body collapsing on yours, your heavy breathing matching his while he is resting his head on the side of your neck.

“I can still feel you pulsing around me baby”. He chuckles and you turn shy all of a sudden. He moves to look at you while removing himself from your sensitive heat. You grimace at the sudden loss of fullness and warmth and he kisses the expression wrinkles formed between your eyebrows. He grabs his shirt and wipes both of you as good as he can, before bringing you a new oversized hoodie from your drawer to wear.

“I’m hungry”, you spit while he is trying to get your left arm inside the hoodie.

“Pizza?”, he cocks his head to the side waiting for your reassurance. You nod and he lifts you up carrying you all the way to the living room where he leaves you on the sofa. He then disappears back inside the bedroom and comes out in a pair of sweatpants he always keeps there just in case, and a clean t’shirt. He takes his spot next to you and grabs his phone to order when he stops.

“What?, you ask.

“You’re still working from home right?”, he turns to look at you. His random interest in your work catches you of guard.

“Ahm yes. They said it is still not safe to go back to the office so I should be working from home at least until the end of January. Why?”. His face lights up and you wish your eyes could take photos.

“Come to Australia with me for a couple weeks. I need a break and I can get a couple weeks off to go see my family. Come with. Please”, he is searching your eyes for any sort of reaction. You don’t know what to say or how to react.

“Your family?”, you repeat, this being the part that shocked you the most.

“Yes. They are cool, you don’t have to worry. No pressure. I just want to spend some time away from everything here and I want you to be with me.What do you say?”. How could you say no to him when he is looking at you like a kid waiting to open his Christmas presents. You nod before the words leave your mouth.

“Okay. I’ll come.”. He serves you the biggest smile you’ve ever seen him wearing and takes you in his arms. You startle his lap and move a few hair away from his forehead looking into his beautiful eyes. And then you remember how this happy, loving person seemed so broken and hurt just an hour ago.

“I want to get to know you better Chris. Seeing you like this before hurt me so much and I need to feel safe that I know how to help you when things get tough”, you share with him as honestly as you can.

“You helped me just fine baby”, you gives you a cheeky smile and you hit his arm.

“I’m serious. I don’t ever want to hear you saying you’re not good enough. You’re great in what you do and you’re super talented, gifted and hard working. You shine on stage and even when you make a few mistakes here and there, no one cares cause your work outshines all of them”, you say in one breath and you swear you mean each word. He looks at you with the most loving stare.

“You are the only person who has ever told me that, that doesn’t make money out of me.”, his expression turns sad and you kiss him straight away trying to keep him away from the dark place he was in just a while ago when he knocked on your door.

“Everyone loves you. I love you. You are amazing and I am hungry. Go set the table and stop with the self pity you idiot”, you try to lighten up the mood and it works as Chris quickly gets up to set the table with the biggest smile on his face.

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