lunchboxwizard

[lunchboxwizard]

cold sweaty hot spaghetti

[lunchboxwizard]

*me sitting in English hoping to gods that i will focus*

my dumbass brain:  hehehe  sosag siggle

[lunchboxwizard]

Next on: Things I’ve said, but shouldn’t have

“Now remember kids, hips forward for Jesus”

[lunchboxwizard]

Every good Australian knows

that this mate right here:

is capable of curing literally anything 

[lunchboxwizard]

let me propose to you:

Good Santa

Bad Santa

and Morally Grey Santa

[lunchboxwizard]

The Great Gatsby

By F. Scoot Fitzgerald

[lunchboxwizard]

it has come to my attention that there is only ever going to be one jesus so the need for a plural word is irrelevant and now i feel stupid

i had a thought

if jesus is spelt like fungus and cactus does that mean that the plural of jesus is jes-i???

[lunchboxwizard]

i had a thought

if jesus is spelt like fungus and cactus does that mean that the plural of jesus is jes-i???

[lunchboxwizard]

Things my sister, Xanthie, has said

1) *the whole family sitting in in front of the TV*

Xanthie:  Hey mum?

Mum:  Hey yeah?

Xanthie:  What are dried apricots made out of?

Me:  ...

Dad:  ...

My other sister:  ...

Mum: ...

Me, internally: wtf apricots you idiot

(this has happened again but with sultanas which I thought was slightly more acceptable considering the name was different)

2) *ad playing on the TV about the properties jellyfish have that can improve your skin (it was a face mask or something)*

Xanth:  Hold on.... wouldn’t the jellyfish sting your face?

Me:  It’s a face mask not an actual bloody jellyfish

Xanth:  ...oh good, yeah that makes sense

3) *watching the winter olympics*

Me:  I love the olympics

Mum:  Lou, we know

Xanth:  Hey, what does Pyeongchang mean?

Me:  It’s where the Olympics are

Xanth:  Really, I didn’t know there was a place in Australia called that

Xanth:  Are the winter Olympics held in Australia?

Mum:  *laughing*

Me:  Omg first of all, no, it’s in South Korea. Second, you need frickin snow for it to be a winter olympics, Xanthie. WE LIVE IN AUSTRALIA

Xanth:  I don’t get it

4) *dad and Xanth are in the kitchen, I’m in my room*

Xanth:  What does green curry taste like?

Dad:  Like yellow curry but green

(this legit happened like 15 mins ago so I’m assuming it’s an acceptable answer because she didn’t say anything else)

[lunchboxwizard]

I honestly had such a big problem with this, like, if a big gust of wind came or if someone patted me on the back too hard i’d be done for

Middle Earth has no railings

Middle Earth needs no railings

Middle Earth laughs at your OSHA compliance and building safety regulations

[lunchboxwizard]

I CANT 

[lunchboxwizard]

My smol emo son Kieth

I really love Keith.

[lunchboxwizard]

Too true

my addition to this meme

[lunchboxwizard]

I ship it (now this is a much better ‘first’ post)

[lunchboxwizard]

What a shitty first post. Oh well, can’t change it now

[lunchboxwizard]

I just read today that Silena Beauregard was Kronos’ spy in the Percy Jackson books and I am not ok! (She’s still cool though)