lysleann

[lysleann]

With You - Part 3

Alex (Lex)

When he returns to the dining room I'm still sitting at the table scrolling through my phone and sipping my coffee. I look up and smile warmly. "Hey there he is. And he's handsome too!" I say playfully but in a way that is trying to build him back up. He was a taller man, standing at six foot, two inches tall, he had black hair that swooped to the side and wisped around his ears, he had dark steel blue eyes, and his fair skin tone was tanned from the sun which wrapped around his firm muscled body. I didn't think there was an ounce of body fat on this man. He took pride in his appearance and he worked hard to maintain it. 

Travis chuckles. "Not as handsome as you." Travis said glaring back playfully at me.

"Psh. I can't be handsome. I'm a girl sooo....And I'm still in my sweats, my hair's a mess, you know...homeless looking. I'm far from it." I roll my eyes and go back to scrolling through my phone.

Travis smirked as he walked over to me and nudged me on the shoulder playfully. "That may be true, but you still look beautiful even in sweatpants with messy hair. You just can't help it. It's in your nature."

I roll my eyes and cringe. It was a compliment I just couldn't accept.

Travis just laughed. "Come on. Don't be so stubborn. Just accept the compliment and enjoy it."

I scoff. "You know I hate compliments."

"That's exactly why I keep pushing you on it. Just stop fighting me and accept it."

I cringe again. "Or here's a thought...Don't." I snark back.

"No. I'm not going to stop Lex. You deserve to have people around you that build you up and compliment you. If you won't take the compliment I'll simply keep pushing you until you cave. You'll accept them one day."

"No...please. Really don't. I don't like it and you know it." I say slightly more annoyed with a groan.

Travis sighed then finally relented. "Okay. I'll stop. I'm sorry for annoying you. I just don't like seeing you down."

"You didn't annoy me and I'm not down. I'm fine. Really." I sigh.

He raised a suspicious eyebrow at me. He didn't believe me. "Really? You're sure?"

"Yep. I'm fine." My tone is short and clipped but I manage a tiny smile.

Travis' eyes narrowed. He knew I was lying. He knew there was more beneath the surface. But he knew me very well and knew that no matter how much he pressed he wouldn't get it out of me.

"No you're not. And I know it's not because of what I said about you being attractive either. It's something else. I can tell. So what is it?"

"There is nothing else Travis. Really. I'm okay." I say smiling more trying to reassure him that I really was fine.

I could tell Travis was starting to get a little annoyed now. He gave me a firm stare as he tried to read me. "Look at me. And tell me the truth. What is it?"

I glare at him looking him in the eyes. "I said I'm fine. And I meant it. Really. I'm okay."

"You're lying to me." He said softly. "I can see it clearly. Would you please, just this one time, tell me what's wrong?"

I sigh. "What do I have to do to make you believe me? I'm not lying. I promise. I'm okay. Besides, even if I am lying and I'm not fine, whatever I have going on is nothing compared to what you've got going on right now. So don't worry about me. Let's just focus on figuring this out okay?"

Travis rolled his eyes as he stepped back. "Fine." He huffed. "If you say so. We'll focus on getting your spare room set up for me to live in for now. But at some point we are going to talk. You need to learn that you don't have to carry everything alone."

I scowl at him. "Fine. You wanna play that game? What happened with Rachel last night? Why'd she break up with you?"

Travis froze and pressed his lips together in a thin line causing his jaw to tense. He didn't want to talk to me about what caused the fight that led to them breaking up and I respected that. He wasn't being respectful of my desire to not talk about my problems so, if I had to play dirty with him to get that point across, I would.

I raise my eyebrow at him and sigh. "Look, you don't have to talk about it. My point being is I don't want to talk about my problems right now and I don't expect you to talk about yours. So please respect that?"

He looked away and sighed. "Okay. I understand. If you're not ready to talk you're not ready. And that's okay. I won't push you anymore. I'm sorry."

"Thank you. I'm sorry I did that. It was low."

Travis shook his head. "Nah. It was only fair that you pushed back like that. I deserved it. Whatever you're going through though, whether you talk to me about it or not, I'm here for you so you don't have to be alone through it. But you should talk to someone about it."

I let out a small laugh. "How long have you known me now? Like seven years? In that time when did I ever share my problems with anyone? Never. I got this. I'll be okay. But I appreciate the thought."

He holds back a groan. "Yeah well this time is going to be different. I'm going to be around more and I care about you. That means you need to share. Maybe not right now, but eventually. I can't just sit here and watch you deal with things alone."

"I'll be fine." I almost sing the words as I turn my attention back to my phone.

Travis knows that my phone coming out means I'm done with a conversation and he lets out another loud sigh and walks back to the living room.

Once I finished my coffee I head to my room to get dressed and I try to brainstorm a game plan for the day. When I returned dressed and found Travis sitting on the couch staring at his phone. "Everything good?" I asked hesitantly.

He gazed up at me in surprise, then shook it off. "Wha- Oh...Yeah. Just thinking that's all."

My expression saddened. "Wanna talk about it?" I asked, sitting down in the recliner across from him and folding my legs in underneath me.

He frowned and set his phone down on the couch next to him. "I don't want to talk about that right now. Can we have a real conversation? About anything but my ex."

My expression remained sad but I smiled. "Of course. Um..." I thought for a moment to think of a topic that wouldn't lead to his ex. "Oh...how's work been? It's been a minute since you told me about work. Did you get that promotion you were gunning for?"

He smiled and nodded. "Oh yeah, I was officially offered the position a week ago. I start my new position on Monday. I'm excited but also a little nervous."

I got excited for him on his behalf since he wasn't showing it and a huge, toothy smile made its way across my lips. "Oh my gosh! Travis! That's amazing. Congratulations! Maybe we can invite some of your friends over this weekend to celebrate...if you're feeling up to it that is?"

He sighed but smiled at me. "That's a great idea. I'll text some of them tonight to see if they can make it."

I couldn't help but squeal. "Oh my gosh. Yes. Do that. I'll go to the store tomorrow and get appetizers and some dinner stuff. Maybe burgers for the grill?"

"Yeah. I'll text them tonight and I think burgers sound great. Maybe you could grab a case of beer for the guys too? They'll probably appreciate that."

"Of course! Can't have a party without booze!" I said beaming. I was so happy he'd agreed to a party.

I knew having a party to celebrate his promotion would be just the thing he'd need to get his mind off Rachel. And it would be a good excuse for both of us to unwind. As I started to go over a mental checklist of everything I'd need to do to get ready for this last minute, impromptu party, I noticed Travis go back to being lost in his thoughts and my excitement faded.

"Hey...um. I hate to ask...but did you text Rachel? We should try to at least get you some clothes today and your truck. The stuff in that room upstairs won't fit in my mustang so we'll need your truck to take it to storage."

He sighed and shook his head. "No. I haven't yet. That's why I was staring at my phone a minute ago. I had her text thread open, but I couldn't bring myself to write the message. My head has just been a mess. But you're right. It's something I have to do. I'll text her in a bit. I just really don't feel like seeing her so soon."

I sighed and looked out the glass door to my backyard. "I know. But the only clothes you've got are the ones you're wearing. You need something." I paused for a moment then had an idea pop into my wonderful brain. I stood up, walked out of the room and came back with my wallet and keys. "Come on. We're leaving." I said, smiling softly at him.

He sighed and rolled his eyes before raising a skeptical eyebrow at me. "You're taking me shopping aren't you?"

I grinned at him. "I sure am. If you don't wanna see that bi- I mean Rachel. Then we'll go get you some clothes to last you till you're ready to get your stuff."

"We should just run over to my place and get it over with. I know it'll piss her off but if we drop by for five minutes to get my clothes then we don't have to put it off anymore. And we can just make it quick and...somewhat painless."

I paused. "Are...you sure? We don't have to today. We can adapt and figure things out as we go."

Travis took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. Let's just get this over with. After that we can grab a quick bite and get back here. That way we've still got the rest of the afternoon to ourselves to do whatever we want."

I nod slowly. "Okay. I'll be by your side the entire way. Do you want me to wait in the car for you or come in when we get there? You know I have no problem coming in and throwing hands." I tried to joke.

Travis let out a soft chuckle. "As tempting as that sounds, I should probably handle this alone. We already had two explosive days in a row so I think this should be one thing I take care of for myself. I'm sure it'll be just another stupid argument with Rachel anyways. Nothing that I can't handle."

I nod. Things must have been bad if they've been fighting for the past two days. Sounds like the break up was inevitable, but my heart still ached for him. "Okay. I'll stay in my car, but if shit goes sideways then I'll have the police on speed dial. Non-negotiable. Now. Let's go get your stuff back." I said with a melancholy tone and started heading to the door.

We head out to my car and I start driving to Travis' ex-girlfriend's house. He's stoic and uncharacteristically quiet. After a few minutes of silence Travis finally spoke. "You know. You really didn't have to come with me. It's my problem alone."

I let out a sarcastic laugh. "And how would you get there? You know I don't let anyone drive my baby." I say, patting the dash of my Mustang.

Travis laughed lightly as he rolled his eyes. "You're such a selfish woman. You know that?"

"Meh. Sometimes being selfish is a good thing." I said flatly. There was a small tinge of hurt in there but I wouldn't elaborate. Not to Travis.

Travis' eyes grew big and he began doubling back. "Look. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. I was just joking. I'm really glad you're here with me."

I looked at him shocked. "No. No. Travis. That wasn't directed at you. That's my own problems showing through. That's all. I know you were joking. I'm sorry for making you think you hurt my feelings."

"It's okay. But I meant it. I'm really glad you're here with me."

I reached over and patted his shoulder while I drove. "Of course. Anything for you." I smiled and turned back to the road.

When we arrived, Travis popped the door open and stuck a leg out the door. "Okay. Just give me like five minutes. Maybe longer...She's probably going to put up some kind of a fight."

I nod and hold my breath for a moment. "Of course. Got my phone in hand if I need to call the cops. Good luck. And don't forget your truck!"

Travis nervously laughs. "Yeah. I won't forget it. I'll be out as quickly as I can. Promise."

He swung his door open and slowly stalked up the front lawn to their...her front door and knocked. After a couple seconds, the door swung open and Rachel appeared from behind it and her melancholy expression morphed into rage. They exchanged a few words at the door before he stepped inside and she slammed the door shut.

I watched him disappear behind the door and held my breath nervously. I knew this would be hard on him and I'd have to spend the rest of the day trying to cheer him up if this went smoothly. I didn't want to think about the fall out if it didn't go well.

Several minutes passed and I continued to wait and stare at the front of the house with my phone in my hand.

After a few more excruciating minutes passed, Travis finally walked back out of the front door with a dark expression on his face. His jaw was set and his hands were clenched into fists. He aggressively swung the car door open and slumped inside with a frustrated huff.

"What happened...?" I asked nervously.

"We got into a fight. Again. I don't even remember what it's about this time." Travis said as softly as he could before shaking his head. "God she pisses me off so much."

"Where's your stuff?" I asked

"Well...she didn't want me to take my stuff. She didn't want to have to 'deal with looking at me'. And...I didn't want to fight with her about it, so I left. Let's just go to the store. I'll figure something else out later."

I groaned. "Alright. Fuck. That." I bit out. "She doesn't wanna deal with you then she can deal with me. Here take this. You might need it." I slapped my phone in his hand with the numbers to the police pre-dialed and got out of my Mustang, slamming the door behind me and stomped up to the front door. I banged on it with all my strength.

I could feel Travis' eyes burning holes into the back of my skull. I waited at the door and after a couple minutes I pounded again. "Open up Rachel! I know you're in there!" I yelled into the door.

Finally, the door swung open, and Rachel glared at me with such intense fury I thought I'd melt right there on the doorstep. She was a short woman, standing at only 5' 5". She had long dark brown hair that almost touched her perfect tight ass, perfect tanned skin, perfect toned abs...everything about her was perfect...except her fucking attitude and the way she always treated Travis. It was too late to back out now and Travis needed his stuff so I faked a sarcastic smile. "Rachel. Hi. We're here to get his stuff and we're not taking 'no' for an answer. Mmkay? So if you don't want me to use your face to mop the fucking floor, then I suggest you step aside and let me come in and pack some clothes for Travis. He may not hit women. But I do. So Move!"

"What are you going to do about it?" She sneered. "I'm the one who owns this house. You have no right to be here."

She didn't own the house. Her landlord did. And all I saw now was red. "Oh you wanna know what I'm gonna do about it do you?" I sneered. I reached up and shoved her aside and walked into the house. The fact that I was twice her weight and five inches taller than her, helped. When I got inside I ran up to their bedroom and grabbed the first duffle bag I saw and started going through drawers and pulling clothes out and shoving them inside as fast as I could. Then I flung the closet door open and did the same. Grabbing Travis' clothes off hangars and shoving them in the duffle, ignoring Rachel who was hot on my heels, screaming profanities at me. It was all she was probably capable of. If she was capable of more, then she was smart to not touch me.

When I finished ransacking their bedroom, I exited their bedroom and quickly tread down the stairs to the kitchen. The entire time Rachel followed me screaming cuss words at me which I continued to ignore. She was a tiny lap dog that was all bark and no bite. I scanned the kitchen and found the key holder with his truck keys hanging on it and grabbed them before flying out the front door with keys and duffle in hand and Rachel right behind me. I threw the duffle on the ground and turned rapidly on my heel to face her in the front yard and not noticing that Travis had gotten out of the car and was standing next to it a few feet away from me.

"Listen here bitch. You lost a perfectly good man. He would give you the world if you let him but you're so bent on being a raging bitch that you can't see it. You're gonna regret losing him. And don't, for a second, think about trying to get him back. You fucked up with this one. He's kind, caring and sweet and compassionate. And how dare you kick him out in the rain like that last night. He could have died out here."

I turned and picked up the duffle and tossed it at Travis along with the keys to his truck. "Let's go Travis"

Travis stood there with a stunned look on his face as he watched all of this unfold in front of him. I didn't back down one bit and stood my ground through the entire thing. I could tell he was impressed. This was a side of me he rarely saw.

And when I finished screaming at Rachel and tossed him the duffle and his keys, he turned to stare at his ex with a glare. "Well...if it isn't the consequences of your own actions. We're leaving. Have a nice life you psycho bitch."

I smiled and flipped her off over my shoulder before climbing back into my Mustang, and burning rubber as I peeled away from the house. Travis tossed his bag in the bed of his truck and climbed in and followed me back to my house. He parked in the driveway next to my Mustang and we got out. When our eyes met I gave him a confident smile and nod.

Travis returned the gesture as he walked around the front of my car and wrapped his arm around  the back of my neck and pulled me into a hug. "You're something else. Thank you." He said in almost a whisper.

I hugged him back and whispered. "You're welcome. She doesn't deserve you. You know that? You deserve so much better."

"Maybe not, but I'm lucky to have you. Not just right now, but all the times you've been there for me. I really thought I was going to marry her." A slight frown tugged at the corners of his mouth. 

I pulled away and smiled warmly. "Hey. That's okay. We've all been there. I thought that too about...you know..." I shrugged. Travis knew I'd had a relationship end about six months ago. I reigned it back in quickly though. I wasn't about to talk about my problems. Not here and not ever.

"Yeah. I know. But I'll get over it. Eventually. I'm just glad I've got you."

"Me too. Now...let's go get some brunch. I'm starving." I smiled and gestured for him to go take his things inside so we could go get food.

"Yeah. That sounds good actually. I could honestly go for some waffles now. Like a lot of them. And probably a lot of bacon too." He said as he walked in the front door of my house and dropped his bag in the front room before shutting and locking the door behind him again.

I laughed. "Ihop it is then. You drive. I'm sure it feels good to have your truck back."

"Oh hell yeah." He grinned. I think my display of confidence back there gave him some form of catharsis he'd needed for a long time.

We quickly hopped back in his truck and he pulled out of the driveway and began driving in the direction of the nearest Ihop.

"So other than being an absolute badass and fighting my battle for me. How have you been? You doing okay?"

I laugh. "Psh. Bad ass? That was nothing. I was just...taking out the trash." I giggle. "But I've been good. Just working a lot. That's all." I shrug.

"I get that. Life sucks when you just work all the time. But I'm sure you're making good money from it?"

"Oh my. Very good. That's how I was able to afford that Mustang. I love it. It's my dream car and I pulled it off all by myself." I beam at the thought of my brand new mustang. I hadn't had it for very long and I was able to take it to a shop shortly after buying it and adding a few..."minor" modifications.

"You know that's the perfect car for you? You're a badass woman who goes after what she wants. So you deserve a badass car."

I smiled and beamed like a little girl. I did love my new mustang. "By the way, I'm so on board with getting bacon. You think they'll just bring us a plate piled full of bacon if we asked for it?"

"I'm pretty sure if we ask them for a lot of it we'll get a mountain of bacon on our table. And I'd be all over that. We should try it, you up for it?"

"Definitely!" I say happily.

"This is going to be awesome. We'll get some waffles, sausage and eggs. And then ask for so many strips of bacon they'll think we're crazy. Let's do it."

I can't help but grin at him. As I do, I take in his handsome features. He's always been quite the attractive guy with well defined muscles and a perfectly chiseled jawline. It made me wonder why he became friends with me...a slightly chubby, thick-thighed, and in my opinion, unattractive brunette. But I didn't let myself question it too much. He was one of my closest friends and I was grateful for him.

After a few moments, Travis caught me staring at him longer than normal and side eyed me. "What are you looking at?"

"Oh. Ahem. Nothing." I say smiling and turning back to look out the window as he drives. Rain started falling and speckled the window.

"No. No, you were definitely looking at me. Something on my face?" He brought a hand up to his face and started wiping. 

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. Only that shit-eating grin you're always rocking." I say sarcastically. Mild insults were one of my love languages and he knew it.

"Ah so you're admiring my good looks as usual. I get that. I'd admire it too. In fact...I do. Every morning when I get up and look in the mirror."

I groan and roll my eyes. "Cocky and full of yourself as always." I chuckle.

"Hey that's just the way it is. Can't help being blessed with good looks." He lets a sideways smile creep across his lips and it flashes his pearly white teeth...his sharp canine tooth. Swoon

"Must be nice." I grumbled

Travis' grin faded and he became more solemn. "You know you're beautiful, right? Like honestly I'm not just saying that because we're friends. You seriously are."

I cringe. Great. Another compliment. "Nah. It's fine. You don't have to lie. I know I'm not really that attractive."

"I'm not lying to you. You really are. You just aren't your own type or someone you find attractive. But I'd bet if you asked around, a bunch of people would say they found you attractive. Trust me on that one."

I scoff. "Yeah. Because that sounds like a great confidence boost. I'll just go around to strangers and be like "Hey, do you find me attractive? No? Thought so."." I say sarcastically.

"I wasn't saying that you should actually go around and ask people that...all I was trying to say was that you are beautiful and I'm sure there are plenty of people that would agree. But you don't believe that for some reason. And it pisses me off." His tone was soft but steely.

I slump to the right and lean on the door. "Be pissed all you want. It's the truth. I'm chubby, out of shape, I have stretch marks. Don't know who in their right mind would want that."

"I'm pissed because you don't see what I see. Sure you have stretch marks. Sure you have some extra weight on you. Sure you have thick thighs. Who gives a fuck? Do you know what I think when I see you? I think you're beautiful. All that other stuff, I love it. It's a part of you and makes you who you are. That's my thought on it."

I look out the window and watch the rain glide down the window. "Can we just...drop it please? You know I hate talking about this stuff."

Travis shifted in his seat and dead panned the road ahead. "Yeah sure. We can drop it. Sorry I just..."he trailed off.

Guilt pulled at my heart and I sighed. "No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that..." I cringed and slowly spoke the words that made my stomach turn. "Thank you...for the compliment."

He took a slow breath in. "No, no. You don't need to apologize. But...you're welcome. And I mean it. No matter how much you try and disagree, I'm not going to change my mind on that."

I shrug and try to smile. "Guess we'll just have to agree to disagree."

"For now. But I'm never going to stop trying. You deserve to love yourself for who you are. You deserve a man who sees you as you are and thinks you're the prettiest woman in the world. Because you are. Your personality and compassion and literally everything else about you sets you apart from any other woman in the world. So, until you see that, I'm going to keep trying."

"Oh god. Please don't. I might die from cringing too much." I laughed.

"Oh come on, that's a little dramatic. I don't think you'll die." His mood shifted back to light and happy.

I turn at him and glare playfully at him. "Don't you know me by now? I live for the drama." I was grateful that whenever Travis and I got into an argument of some kind we could quickly drop it and move on and go back to being friends like nothing happened. Even if we still didn't see eye to eye on it.

"Yeah that's true. You always know how to bring the drama. Never a dull moment with you." He elbowed me in the shoulder.

I laugh. "Like earlier? I sure showed Rachel didn't I? Now that was dramatic."

"That was kind of impressive though. How did it feel? To actually stand up to her like that? It felt good, I bet."

"Can I be honest for a second?"

Travis nodded and quirked a brow.

"It felt really good. Like really good. I've never liked her. She always had a "I'm a hot pick-me-girl" vibe that I hate. Don't know if you heard me talk to her when I pounded on the door but I threatened to mop the floor with her face. Now that felt good. Especially when she looked at me all shocked." I laugh.

Travis burst out laughing and shook his head. "No. I didn't hear that! Damn. I bet it felt like taking a piss after holding it in for too long. All that energy and emotion built up inside you just needed some kind of release."

I chuckle. "It felt better than that. Like 'getting laid for the first time in years' good."

Travis laughed even harder and leaned forward towards the steering wheel clutching his stomach as he fought for breath between laughs. "Well damn, that's not a comparison that I was expecting." He said as he shook his head. "Well it's good to know that it felt that good for you. I know you're not one to speak up for yourself like that. So it was good to see you let out some of those feelings in such an explosive way."

"Well..." I say sighing. "She hurt my friend and put him out on the street in the rain in the middle of the night with nothing. I wasn't gonna stand by and let her get away with that."

"No, I get that. She was completely out of line to have done that. I just didn't expect you to actually go in on her like that. But I'm glad you did. Someone needed to call her on her bullshit. I was too nice to do it apparently." His smile faded and I could tell he was overthinking everything again.

"Something tells me you tried though, and that's why you guys broke up...isn't it?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yeah. You could definitely say that. I've called her out on stuff countless times. Just never like you did."

"Well you loved her. Of course you'd hold back. It's understandable." I sigh again and rub my palms nervously on my leg.

"Yeah maybe, but I think my reasoning was more I knew she wouldn't listen to me. It was like arguing with a brick wall. So it wasn't worth the energy. But...I know you've never liked her. So being a little more aggressive with her felt right in this case."

"I'm sorry it didn't work out. Four years is a long time to be with someone and I'm sure it feels like even longer now that you have to walk away. And I'm sorry she and I couldn't get along. I know you wanted us to be friends so we could all hang out together. She just rubbed me the wrong way and I think she may have been threatened by me thinking I was gonna try and steal you from her or something." I rolled my eyes. Knowing that Travis would never go for someone like me so she had nothing to worry about. But I'd never admit that out loud. I didn't want to make our friendship awkward.

Travis laughed nervously. "I doubt she was ever threatened by you. I get it. You two are very different people. You're more of a tomboy and not really into things like makeup and vanity like she is. I think she just didn't like that someone else was getting my attention. She never liked anyone who got in the way of getting what she wanted."

I let out a sarcastic laugh. "I think you meant to phrase it "she didn't like someone like me getting your attention."

Travis rolled his eyes. "Jesus, you're stubborn. You think every guy in this world would find you unattractive?"

"Yup. That's what I'm saying. But let's not get back into that again." I let out a shaky sigh.

"So you're telling me that, if I was a random guy on the street and I saw you walking by, that if I found you attractive, I'd be a minority in thinking that?"

I scoff. "Look at yourself Travis. You're incredibly attractive, you're fit, you've got abs for days. You could have any woman you wanted. If you were some random guy on the street and you told me you found me attractive, I'd laugh in your face because I'd know it was some kind of joke. Men like you don't find women like me attractive."

Travis pulls into the parking lot of Ihop and aggressively throws it into park and unbuckles his seatbelt then turns towards me.

I leaned back on the door away from him. "What?" I asked hesitantly.

"Let me show you something." He said with a grin. And then turned to open the truck door. He stepped out into the rain and walked around to the front of the truck and stood and peered at me through the windshield. Then he motioned for me to follow when he sees me staring at him from the cab of his truck.

I slowly unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door and got out into the rain. I slowly walked up to him and stood a couple feet away from him in front of the truck. My body felt tense, unsure of what he was doing.

Without another word, he grips the sides of his shirt and pulls it off over his head. He wasn't shy about his body and had been in front of many people shirtless plenty of times. But we were in the parking lot of an Ihop and he was drawing weird looks from people in the restaurant and in the parking lot. The rain dripped down his perfectly chiseled body and he...grinned at me? "Go on...Look."

My eyes grew big as I gazed at his perfect body. His well defined abs and chest. Everything was perfect about him and my mouth dropped open. "Travis...what the hell are you doing? We're in an Ihop parking lot."

He laughed loudly. "Just humor me for a second here. Look at me. At my body," He motioned for me to study his body.

I sighed and reluctantly let my eyes drift over his body from his face. As I gazed at him I began to notice tiny little imperfections here and there. Imperfections I'd never noticed before. He had scars and...holy crap... "do you...have stretch marks?" I started to see the faded stretched skin that speckled his inner biceps and his hips.

"Indeed I do. See what I mean? Everyone has imperfections. I'm not as perfect as you think I am. Stretch marks...body fat...cellulite are not things to hide and be ashamed of. And if a guy can't look past something so small as that, then they aren't worth your time. So please take back what you said about no one being into chicks like you."

I groan and roll my eyes as I cross my arms across my chest. "Fine. You win. Now put your shirt back on, you freak." I laugh a little and turn red. The gesture of taking his shirt off to show the world his imperfections in the middle of a crowded parking lot just for me made my heart rate rise.

"That's better. Now do you realize that you have nothing to be self conscious about?"

"Yes..." I grumble lying. He had no idea what it was like to live in this body. How much I hated myself for the way I looked. How I felt like no one would ever look at me and say Yep. That's mine and she's so beautiful. But I couldn't tell him that.

"Let me ask you this. If you had a perfect body, one that was skinny, no stretch marks, no cellulite, basically someone with the conventional body type that society says is ideal...do you think you'd be happier?"

I scoff. "I know I would be."

Travis raises his voice at me slightly, with a hint of annoyance. "No you wouldn't. You'd find some different aspect of your looks that you thought were unattractive and hate on that just as much. Trust me. You'd never be happy with how you looked even if other people did. That's what happens when your self image is messed up."

I tense at his raised voice. "I'm sorry..." I whisper.

Travis' expression softens and so does his tone. "No, I'm sorry. I just got a little frustrated listening to you think that you have to look a certain way in order to be worthy of love and attractive. You're beautiful just the way you are. I wouldn't change a thing about you. So please don't try to convince me or yourself that you need to be one specific body type in order for someone to think you're pretty."

Slowly but surely he was forcing me to talk about this. A part of me hated him for it. He was acting as an unpaid therapist right now. Pulling things out of me that I didn't talk to anyone about. My face contorted a little as I fought some tears. I hated crying in front of Travis. We'd known each other for years but I'd only cried in front of him twice in that time. I didn't want to make it three. "It's just..." I inhale deeply. "No one approaches me. No one tells me I'm beautiful other than you. I go to the bar with friends and I'm always the one that men don't come ask to dance with while my friends go off and leave me alone at the bar to drink alone. So something is clearly wrong with me."

"And how many of those men do you think you want coming up to you? All of them? The ones who come to the bar to pick up chicks and are just looking for a hookup. Yeah, that'll definitely make you happier." His tone is full of frustration now and he's not holding back.

I scoff and sniff. Still fighting to keep the tears at the edge of my vision from falling. "It would be nice to feel wanted for once."

Travis steps forward and wraps his arms around me pulling me into his bare chest. "I just wish you'd realize how many guys would be lining up to date someone like you if you had the confidence to put yourself out there."

"That's just it Travis." I scoff again. I don't fight his hug. We rarely hugged but it was nice when it happened. "There aren't any guys lining up to date me. I'm invisible. It doesn't matter where I go. Right guys...wrong ones. No one is desperate to be with me."

"Tch. That's not true. Every time we go to the bar guys are checking you out. They don't come up to you, sure, but that's because they're scared. Because you have this tough personality and they're intimidated."

I can't help but laugh at that. "You're just saying that. I think if guys were checking me out, I'd notice."

"Would you hate me if I was honest right now? Even if what I was being honest about was the fact that I check you out when you're not looking, every damn time we go out?"

I pull away from him quickly and look at him stunned. "Nuh uh. No. You had a girlfriend. A beautiful one. Up until last night. There's no way."

Travis puts his hands up defensively, trying to back peddle his way out of what he said so I don't take it the wrong way. "No no no. That's not what I was saying...let me clarify what I'm saying."

I raise an eyebrow. The tears were still at the edge of my vision but I couldn't help but grin at him as he tried to back peddle. He'd never been one I allowed myself to have a crush on. He was my friend and he got with Rachel a few years into our friendship. The relationship I'd had that ended six months ago had only lasted three months. And I'd been single for a couple of years before that. And I knew, deep down, Travis would never go for me. So I let friendship be the only thing on my mind when it came to him. Rachel was gorgeous. She was thin and had beautiful dark brown hair and perfect skin. I thought they were perfect for each other based on their body types.

"First off...I just want to clarify that yes...I did have a girlfriend. And secondly..." Travis took a breath as he took a step towards me, keeping his gaze locked on mine. "I've always thought you were beautiful. And I do have eye's you know? Just because I was in a relationship doesn't mean I'm not allowed to notice things like how beautiful my best friend is."

I roll my eyes and wipe away the tears at the edge of my eyes. "Alright, fine. You win...again. Now let's go inside. It's wet and I'm hungry." I brushed off his compliment again and didn't dare put deeper meaning to it. He'd just gotten out of a four year relationship last night and there was no way he'd ever consider being with me.

"Now are you gonna put your shirt back on or are you gonna walk in like that and expect them to still serve us?" I say sarcastically.

"Okay alright...." He said while rolling his eyes. "Goddamn you're a pain." But he laughed yet again as he put his shirt back on.

I faked a sigh. "I know I am. But that's why we're friends. You're equally a pain in the ass." And with that I turned and started walking to the front door.

We went inside and were seated. Travis and I ordered the heaping plate of bacon and they gave it to us much to our surprise. He ordered waffles and I ordered pancakes. We both got eggs and we scarfed it all.

After we ate, we headed back to my house with a full stomach and a plan to start clearing out that spare room so he could have his own space and not have to continue sleeping on my couch. 

[lysleann]

With You - Part 2

*This story contains mild triggers such as body dysmorphia, language, childhood abuse, mentions of drug use, Family death, alcohol abuse, suggestive themes such as sex and some violence. Reader discretion is advised. All characters depicted in this story are of legal consenting age and drinking age.*

Travis 

I slept the entire night and into the late morning. My mind was at ease thanks to the emotional break I had been given by Alex. When I finally woke up, I was still exhausted but in a much better state of mind than I had been last night. After blinking the sleep from my eyes, I sat up on the couch and glanced around the room. It didn't appear as though Alex was up yet. Made sense since she was a raging insomniac and usually slept late into the day anyway. I hadn't known she was an insomniac until last night, but I knew she was notorious for sleeping late.

As I woke up, I began to process the events from last night and couldn't help but dwell on a couple things. It didn't take long though until my stomach started to growl and I realized I was hungry.

I didn't want to wake Lex, so I made my way to the kitchen and decided to rummage around and see what she had that she probably wouldn't mind parting with. I was used to being here and knew where everything was, so it made finding something semi-substantial easy.

I settled on a bowl of cereal because I felt a little guilty for eating her food without asking her first. I knew she wouldn't mind, but asking was just a common courtesy that I'd like if it were my house and my food.

Not long after I settled back on the couch, Lex came down the stairs wearing a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Her hair was pulled up into a messy bun and she sleepily shuffled to the kitchen. She made eye contact with me and her face bore no expression. She didn't do mornings.

"Oh good. You found something to eat." She said in her scratchy morning voice. "You want some coffee? I'm gonna make some coffee."

I couldn't help but chuckle. Morning Lex was adorable. I swallowed a big spoonful of cereal and gulped it down. "Yes! Coffee! That sounds good. I'm sorry I ate your cereal."

"Psh" She says waving a hand. "It's fine. I don't expect you to go hungry. My home is your home. Please help yourself to anything you need. No need to ask first okay?" She fills the coffee pot up and begins brewing coffee as she sets two mugs on the counter. "You want creamer or do you take your coffee black?" She asked, not turning to look at me as she rummaged through the fridge. I could see sleep lines on her face and she had dark circles under her eyes.

"I'll just take it black." I watched her closely, almost studying her. It'd been a while since I'd seen her right after she woke up. "No creamer."

I got up from the couch and walked over to the breakfast bar and took a seat on one of the stools as she turned to me and playfully raised an eyebrow at me. "You psychopath." She jests. "Only psychos drink coffee black."

I couldn't deny the accusation. "Guilty as charged." I said. "I guess I'm just a psychopath. But at least I'm an honest psychopath." I say shrugging nonchalantly as I scoop more cereal onto my spoon.

"That is a good quality to have for sure." She pours the coffee and sets the full mug in front of me, then comes around and sits on a stool next to me, hugging her mug with both her hands. "So listen...I was thinking... I might have an idea for you."

"Yeah...?" I asked hesitantly. "What is it?" Alex was known for a crazy idea here and there.

She took a deep breath before speaking. "I have that spare room upstairs. It's full of a bunch of my junk. I've been using it as storage. But if you help me move it I'll let you move in and you can rent from me. I'll give you the first month free for helping me move my stuff out and put it in storage and I'll help you get stuff like a bed and desk and what not. So you're not starting over completely."

I almost dropped my mug of coffee as I let my jaw go slack. This was an insane offer. In one fell swoop, she eliminated ninety percent of my worries. She'd given me a roof and furniture. I wouldn't have to feel bad for crashing on her couch and eating her food without paying her anything. It was all taken care of.

"Are you sure?"

She shakes her head. "I'm sure. I don't want you to stress about any of that. Do you think your um...I guess ex...would be willing to let you get your clothes and stuff?" She cringes, bringing her up knowing that it would sting.

I cringe a little too but try not to show it. I sigh and avert my eyes. "Honestly, I don't know. She can be cold and mean sometimes. But I think she'll let me get my things. At least...I hope she will."

Lex makes a sound that sounds like a combination between a scoff and a snort. "She's a bitch." She says under her breath.

I couldn't help but chuckle a little. I couldn't say I disagreed with her, and I loved it when she got sassy. "I mean yeah...she wasn't the nicest person at times. I guess I just didn't pay enough attention to her until it was too late and she didn't care anymore. I wish I could see things from her perspective. Maybe I was the one who screwed it all up."

She rolls her eyes. Her usual kind demeanor had yet to kick in with the help of the caffeine in her hand. "I don't know what happened between you two to make her kick you out in the freaking rain like that, and you can always talk to me about it when you're ready, but I doubt you did anything wrong. I'm not gonna press you to talk about it. Just know I'm here if you need me."

I nodded feigning disinterest. "I might take you up on that offer at some point and tell you. For now though I don't really want to talk about her. She's my past now right? I want to move on and not think about it."

"Of course. Let's just worry about figuring everything out okay? First things first is getting that spare room ready for you to move in. Figuring out how to get your clothes and other belongings back from her place and getting your truck so you have a vehicle." There it was, just like I said, I didn't want to talk about it, she wasn't going to push it. It was one of many reasons why she was my best friend.

I nodded. The list she'd laid out in front of me seemed daunting. But, her demeanor told me it was nothing. I knew that if I had her with me to help accomplish this list, then I'd be fine.

"I'll text her later. If she won't agree to let me get my things I'll just go over there and see if I can get them anyway. We always did the stereotypical 'key under the mat'... so I should be able to get in no problem if I have to."

She shrugs and her expression remains flat. "We'll get the police involved if we have to. What she did is illegal. She can't kick you out of somewhere where your name is on the lease or mortgage. And she can't keep your things from you. The police can go and act like a buffer and keep the peace while you get your things."

I had a tiny bubble of anxiety form in my chest at the thought of needing to get the police involved. I did still love Rachel. That wasn't going to go away anytime soon, as much as I wanted it to. "I hope it doesn't get that far. We're both on the lease and I'd rather not have the police get involved, but if I have to I will. Right now my focus is getting that extra room ready so I can start moving my things over. Do you have any boxes or anything I can use to get my stuff organized?"

She scoffs again and bites her tongue. I know she's never liked Rachel but she'd never admit it to me. "Anyway." She takes a sip of her coffee. "Yes, I have some empty boxes in that room up there that you can use to box up your stuff."

I smiled and took a large swig of my coffee, finishing it off before taking the empty mug around to set in the sink. "Perfect, I'll go grab them and start bringing them down."

She shakes her head and holds up a hand. "No need to jump on it immediately. You can relax and take a breather. You went through a lot last night. You deserve a break before you get to work."

I pursed my lips. She wasn't wrong. The last 24 hours of my life had probably been some of the worst of it...and I was ex-military. "Okay. I guess I should actually relax a little bit. Thanks. I really don't know what I would do without you right now."

It's clear the caffeine is starting to kick in for her finally because she presses her face into one of her more common squinty eyed smiles. "Of course Travis. We got this."

She had always been my rock in some ways. When Rachel and I were going through rough patches, it was always Lex who I'd turn to, and she would encourage me to talk to Rachel about it instead of her. Of course that was always sound advice that I believed in, but sometimes I'd have her coach me through a difficult conversation before I had to have it with Rachel...as long as it wasn't too personal and something that should definitely stay between Rachel and I.

"I really do appreciate this Lex. More than you know."

She holds up her hand again. "Alright alright enough. You're making me uncomfortable with all the "thank you's' and what not."

"Fine, fine. I'll take a break." I said with a facetious tone. "But seriously, I mean it. Thank you. Without you I would be really screwed right now." Saying 'thank you' over and over again was the only way I was able to show gratitude right now.

She smiles and nods awkwardly. She's always struggled with accepting gratitude and compliments. She's also struggled with being the center of attention...crowds. Basically, if it made an introvert cringe...that was Lex.

"Your clothes are done in the dryer if you'd like to get dressed." She nods her head towards the laundry room down the hall dismissing me and I silently stalk off to get dressed.

I pulled my jeans, hoodie, socks, and graphic t-shirt from the dryer and headed to the bathroom to get dressed. As I pulled my shirt over my head...it hit me that this shirt was one of many that Rachel never liked but I refused to get rid of. My mind was in a vulnerable place right now and I couldn't help but wonder if maybe she broke up with me because I wouldn't get rid of it. That's ridiculous...but not impossible. 

[lysleann]

Check out my profile on Wattpad, I'm Alysa1627 https://www.wattpad.com/Alysa1627?utm_source=web&utm_medium=tumblr&utm_content=share_profile Hi! My name is Lys! I'm new to the writing scene. Some of my works are fanfic, others are fiction, but all are some form of romance. So far I'm really enjoying writing and am doing it in all my free time! I'm Happy to do R4R! I would also love feed back/positive criticism for my stories. Even th...

[lysleann]

With You - Part 1

This story contains mild triggers such as body dysmorphia, language, childhood abuse, mentions of drug use, Family death, alcohol abuse, suggestive themes such as sex and some violence. Reader discretion is advised. All characters depicted in this story are of legal consenting age and drinking age. - Part one is free of these themes

Travis

It was 2:30 in the morning as I walked down the sidewalk alone in the dark and the freezing rain. I was soaked to the bone and shivering violently. As I walked, I kept my head slouched down in an attempt to keep the pouring rain from splattering my face, but it was no use.

I came to a street light and pulled out my phone and tried to shield it from the rain as I thumbed through the contacts. I felt pathetic right now. My girlfriend and I had a fight. She ended our relationship and kicked me out into the street in the freezing rain. I'd resent her right now if I wasn't too cold to care.

I fumbled with my phone as I shivered and tried to find the name of the one person I knew I could count on to help me. My best friend, Alex Silva. She didn't live too far from where I was. I hated the possibility of waking her up to come rescue me but I had no other options and I had nowhere to go.

I found her name and pressed the call button and held it up to my ear and listened to it ring for a few moments before it picked up and her soft raspy voice came over the other end of the line.

"Travis?"

"H-Hey." My voice stuttered from the cold. "I really need you to come get me..."

"Are you okay? What's going on?" She says with more concern in her tone.

"Lex...It's just... I am soaking wet, it's raining, I have nowhere to go. Rachel ended our four-year relationship and I need to get somewhere warm." I explained through the chatter of my jaw and sniffles. I was desperate.

"O-okay. I'm coming to get you. Where are you? I'm getting my keys and walking out the door right now." She says with more urgency.

"I'm off of Route 9 by the old factory building. I really appreciate you doing this, Lex. I'm sorry I have to bother you so late." I rubbed my runny nose with the back of my soaked sleeve.

I could hear her breathing fast and rustling as he moved about her house and then the tell tale sound of her front door opening and shutting and the sound of the engine of her Mustang roaring to life. "It's alright Travis. I'm on my way. I'm ten minutes away. Don't move. Try to find somewhere out of the rain to hang out. And stay on the phone with me okay?"

"Okay. I will, I promise. I appreciate this so much." I tried to scan my surroundings in the dark and didn't see much except an old torn awning jetting off the side of the factory. It was torn and ratty but it'd have to do for now. I walked over to it and stood under it and it helped shield me from the relentless rain only slightly.

I could tell by the sound of the whine of the engine in the background she was pushing it as fast as she safely could in this weather. I had no way to put into words the amount of gratitude I felt for her urgency.

After a couple moments of silence she spoke again. "I'm so sorry this happened Travis. I'm almost there." She tried to reassure me as she sped towards the factory.

"Thank you. It just... it sucks you know?. I don't even know where to go next. I've been with her for four years and now I have nothing." My voice broke and I sounded close to tears. I hated that I sounded this weak in front of Lex but I was just so broken up and she was the first friend that I thought of.

"I know. I'm so sorry. Try not to think about it. I'm one minute away. We'll get you back to my place, get you a hot shower and some dry clothes and we can talk about it in the morning okay?" She said in that soothing tone I loved so much. I could tell her heart was breaking for me.

I closed my eyes and swallowed back tears at the sound of her voice over the line, her gentle words were comforting and reassuring. "S-Yeah. I really need a shower," I said quietly. "I'm sorry for dragging you out of bed. You didn't deserve a call so late like this. I should've just walked to a hotel or something." I could hear the faint roar of her modified exhaust in the distance and my body relaxed with relief.

"Absolutely not Travis! Don't you dare apologize for this. You could get hypothermia out here in this. I'm glad you called." Her voice was scolding but didn't lack empathy. "Okay I'm pulling up. Where are you?"

"I'm right by the factory entrance. I can't see the road but there's that big overhang. Right around the corner from the road." The sound of her exhaust got louder until I saw her Mustang in its sleek black glory turn the corner into the parking lot of the factory. She'd worked her ass off for that car and was so damn proud of it. And I was proud of her for getting her dream car as well.

Her headlights blinded me for a moment as he pulled in and it screeched to a halt in front of me and the driver side door flung open. And there she was, my best friend with concern plastered all over her face running towards me in the rain. She held a blanket out and tossed it over my shoulders the best she could. She was shorter than me - not by much - but still shorter. She had brown hair that fell just past her shoulders when she wore it down, and beautiful blue eyes. She was curvy and had some extra weight on her with thick round thighs and a little bit of a belly that showed she wasn't afraid to eat a burger once in a while and enjoy the chocolate cake, guilt free, afterwards. I loved that about her.

"C'mon. Get in. I've got the heat blasting and the seat warmers on. Let's get you to my place." She said, guiding me to the passenger door. I got in and she closed the door behind me and the heat from the vents enveloped me immediately. My shivering slowed but didn't cease since I was soaked to the bone. I wrapped the blanket tighter around myself and wiped my wet black hair from my face. I couldn't help but fantasize about the shower I was about to have.

Lex got in and cranked the heat to full blast and the fan speed all the way up and pointed the vents straight at me. Then put the car in first gear and pulled out of the parking lot and headed back to her house. Exhaustion crept in and I leaned my head on the side window and closed my eyes and let myself doze.

When we pulled into the driveway she turned to me and spoke in barely a whisper. "Hey...we're here. Come one. Let's get you inside to the shower so you can warm up." she gently rubbed my shoulder and I roused.

"Okay. Right." I mumbled and turned and pulled on the door handle and stumbled out of the car. I followed her to the front door and waited for her to unlock the door and let me inside.

I'd been in her house countless times over the years and was familiar with it. It was a modest two-story suburban home in a well kept neighborhood. It had cream colored siding, a small front porch where she kept a small bench swing, a couple lounge chairs, and a few flower pots. Inside, there was a small front room which had a couch, a chair, and a few bookcases filled with books. A decent sized kitchen was further in and to the left, and her main family room, which she used for entertaining, had another couch, a couple chairs, a fireplace and a tv mounted above it.

I stepped out of my soaked shoes on the entryway tile and padded over the carpet, leaving wet footprints behind as I followed her inside and she flicked on lights as we went.

I followed her down the hall to the bathroom where I sank down onto the toilet lid and let my body slump. She reached over and started the shower for me and then reached over and pulled the blanket off my shoulders and silently helped me strip off my soaked hoodie, shirt, and socks, before stepping away towards the door to allow me to do the rest in privacy.

"I think my ex left some clothes here so I'll go grab those for you and put these in the wash so you have something to wear tomorrow. There's a towel right there on the counter for you when you're done. Take as long as you need okay?" She said softly as she closed the door behind her.

I finished undressing and stepped into the hot shower immediately, allowing the warm water to wash over me and soothe my aching muscles from all the shivering I'd done earlier. The sound of the water falling was almost comforting. I could hear Lex from the other room, walking back and forth through the house, entering rooms, the sounds of drawers being opened and clothes being thrown into the wash.

After a few minutes there was a soft knock on the door and then the door opened. "Here's the clothes. Leaving them on the counter for you. Do you want soup or something?" She called out from the doorway.

"Thank you. Soup would be great. I'm starving and I haven't eaten since supper. But...I don't want to make you get something just for me though." I called back from behind the shower curtain. I was already so much of a burden right now. I couldn't possibly ask for more.

"Seriously. Don't worry about it. It's fine. I got you. I'll be in the kitchen when you're done." She says back before leaving the bathroom, leaving me to finish up.

After I heard the door click shut I closed my eyes and tilted my head back and let the water wash over me. Let it wash away the mental turmoil I'd been dealing with since Rachel and I began fighting to being kicked out in the rain.

After a few more minutes I washed up and shut the water off and stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in the towel she'd provided. The clothes she'd left on the counter for me were about my size, possibly a little smaller but it didn't matter. What I hated was that they belonged to her ex and it made my skin crawl to put them on. But, I couldn't look a gift horse in the mouth right now. I was grateful she had anything for me to wear at all.

After I exited the shower I walked down the hall to her living room and flopped on the couch and kicked my head back and let my eyes close. Lex was stirring the soup on the stove quietly and flashed me a warm smile when she saw me come down the hall.

A couple minutes later she was by my side with a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a piece of toast, setting them on the coffee table in front of me and sitting on the couch next to me.

"Here. Nice and hot. Feel better? You look absolutely exhausted."

I smiled up at her warmly. The tone of her voice and her compassion were like a salve for my broken heart.

"Thank you so much for this. I'm tired but I do feel better after that shower. I wish I didn't have to wake you up so late though" I picked up the spoon and bowl and scooped soup into my mouth. The temperature of the soup sent shock waves through my body and made me realize just how starved I was.

Lex shakes her head. "I was already up. You didn't wake me."

"Still. I hate that I needed you to come get me. I really should have been able to handle things myself." I was still mentally kicking myself for putting myself in this position. "Your ex's clothes are more comfortable than I thought they would be, and fit me perfectly." I chuckled and took another bite.

She laughed. "Yeah. You guys are about the same size. It's why I had the idea. Sorry they're his clothes. It's all I had." She sighs. "And it's alright to need to lean on someone once in a while, you know? Your girlfriend dumped you and put you out in the rain. That's..." She shakes her head and bites her tongue.

I know she's holding her tongue to spare my feelings and it's sweet. "It's alright. I'm glad you had these to lend." I pinch the collar of the sweat shirt and hold it up as I speak.

I didn't want to think about my girlfriend anymore...Well...my ex-girlfriend. The breakup still stung, and I didn't want to relive it. "So you're up this late because you wanted to be? I thought you had to be up at six for work." I asked as I slurrped more soup and took a bite of toast.

"Yeah...I still do. I just don't sleep much." She shrugs and I can see a hint of sadness in her expression.

I let concern into my expression as I raise an eyebrow at her. "Is everything okay with you?"

She wipes away the sadness in a flash and replaces it with a calm smile. "Oh yeah. I'm fine. Just insomnia is all."

I wanted to believe her but she hadn't really been herself lately. I could never get her to tell me what was up but I always asked to make sure. There was always that hope that maybe one day...if I asked enough, she'd tell me.

"Insomnia? Is that when your mind keeps you awake? Keeps your thoughts busy?" I ask, trying to keep the conversation going.

She nods. "Yeah. My brain just doesn't want to shut off. My body is tired but my mind goes a hundred miles an hour." She takes a deep calming breath and her chest rises and falls with it. "It is what it is. I'm just glad you're okay. You could have caught hypothermia out there."

"It is what it is." That was her motto. She never talked about herself or big things happening in her life and if she was let down? Well...it is what it is. And that hurt. She was my best friend and I wanted to be there for her. So badly. But she'd never let me. She'd never be vulnerable, she rarely cried in front of me. I think in the time I've known her, she's cried twice in front of me.

I let out a long sigh of relief. "Yeah. I guess you're right. I don't know what I would've done without you."

She smiled at me again as her eyes lit up with an idea. "How about I call off work tomorrow? I can help you figure out your next steps. Or just be here for you or whatever..."

I straightened my posture. This girl had done too much for me already. "Are you sure? I don't want you calling off work because of me. That's a big deal."

"You're a bigger deal and you're my friend. I've got the P.T.O. so it'll be fine. I'll text my boss right now and let him know I won't be in." She yawns and grabs her phone and types out a text really quick. "There. All done. Now...let's figure out where you're gonna sleep." She stands and claps her hands together as she thinks.

"Thank you. You're an amazing friend." I say in a hushed tone. Shame and guilt were quickly creeping in and I frown. And then...the reality of the fact that I was used to going to my own home, sleeping next to my girlfriend in my bed, hit me. Life was easier just hours before. Now, everything had been turned upside down. I had a home and a future. I thought I was going to marry Rachel. But now? Now I felt like I had nothing.

Lex noticed the obvious frown on my face and sat back down next to me. She moved to touch me, then withdrew, probably unsure if I'd welcome it right now. "It's alright. You can stay here as long as you need to okay? I'll go get you some pillows and blankets and you can crash on the couch for now until we can figure out better sleeping arrangements. I'm here if you need to talk about anything. Okay?"

My frown deepens. "Okay. Can I just..." I tried to find the right words. "Can I just have a hug? I kind of need one right now."

Her expression is that of shock and sadness. "Of course you can." Then she wraps her arms tightly around me and holds me for a few moments and rubs my back. "I'm so sorry Trav. You'll get through this okay? I got you. I promise." Her soft voice was riddled with sadness and compassion and it broke me. Broke the last bit of composure I had left. The exhaustion, heartbreak, the overwhelming feeling that I'd be stuck for a long time, all broke down my defenses and I finally gave in and cried. My shoulders shook and I pressed my face into the crook of her neck and sobbed. I gripped her tightly and let it all out, as pathetic as it made me feel, I let it go. I could always count on Lex to let me feel whatever it was that I needed to feel without worrying about judgment or ridicule. If I wanted to talk about it later, she'd let me bring it up and listen. If I didn't, she'd never bring it up again and let it go.

"Shhh. It's okay. You'll be okay. I promise. I know it hurts now. But you'll get through it." She softly whispers in my ears and her hug gets tighter. Her voice breaks a little as she speaks and I can tell I'm making her emotional too. Even though she's always kept to herself, she wears her heart on her sleeve and is a bleeding heart when it comes to her friends' pain.

I stayed in her embrace for a long time, just letting out the tears and letting her hold me close to her. The warmth from her body radiated onto me, slowly calming me down. Once the sobs quieted and I didn't feel like my world was collapsing in on me so much I pulled away and wiped the tears away. I felt her gaze on me and my face heated with embarrassment. She was such a good friend for doing all of this for me despite the fact that I knew she had her own struggles. Though, she'd never admit it.

She noticed me turning away in embarrassment and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Hey. None of that." She says soft but sternly. "Just because you're a man doesn't mean you're not allowed to cry or have feelings. Your heart is broken. You're allowed to feel these things okay?"

I couldn't put into words how pathetic I felt for sobbing on her shoulder like that, but those feelings were my own. She never gave me an inkling of judgment for my behavior. I nodded and wiped more tears away before looking at her.

"You know... you're doing a lot for me right now. I hope you know that. You don't have to, but you're choosing to and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

She gives me a stern look and moves her hand to my wrist. "No more thanking me. You'd do the same for me. I know it."

I looked down at her hand on my wrist and I knew she was right. I would drop everything for her too if the situations were reversed. I'd be there for her without a question if she needed me.

I sniffle and roll my eyes. "Okay, okay. I'll stop thanking you."

"Okay. Now. You look utterly exhausted. Let me go get you some pillows and a blanket so you can get some rest, okay?" She stands and heads down the hall to get into the linen closet.

She returned with a couple pillows and blankets and helped me get settled. She flipped off a couple lights and turned and flashed a warm smile at me again. "You know where to find me if you need anything. I'm gonna go put your clothes in the dryer right now so they'll be done when you get up."

I returned the smile and my eyes grew heavy once again. I nodded at her, letting her know I heard her. I laid back on the couch and pulled the blankets over myself and closed my eyes. I drifted off to a deep sleep within minutes.