making-it-through-life

[making-it-through-life]

New Me

I have gone through so much in the last couple of months that I feel like it has been a lifetime verse only 3 months. Nothing has impacted me more than how the asshole treated me. The reality of life is that I am alone and finally happy. I am happy to be on my own with my boys and living. There was nothing that would change my new perspective.

I am going to learn to love myself more and value my beliefs above others. I need to learn that the greatest love of my life is actually myself. I will be my own soulmate and love. There is no way I will let someone affect me and take away that love.

[making-it-through-life]

Thomas Eakins (1844-1916 American), A Cat in the Yard

[making-it-through-life]

Ignoring the Haters

Do you ever just wonder if what you're doing is right? Like the way you are pursuing your life or career is the right path for you?

Personally, I think perspective comes into play, and instead of trying to be a certain way or a certain person, it's better just to be yourself. Yes, we have had parents, friends, or family tell us to be ourselves but when you stop and try to figure out who you are that is where the magic happens. I am an extroverted introvert. Which is short is just a person that picks and chooses in a specific setting which one I will be. There is just something that happens in our brains when we stop caring about what others expect or think of us and just be us.

For example, I have a lot of coworkers that are cliquy and are judgemental on the fact that I am covered in tattoos. I just decided one day that I am not gonna let that impact be because I got my job on me and my boss obviously doesn't mind. Plus there are tons of people that have tattoos throughout our company so the people on my team are just judgemental because of something personal they are going through. So instead of letting it get to me... I went shopping bought bomb ass work outfits and going to be the best I can be at my job.

We forget we aren't at jobs to make friends... we are there to succeed and have a future. IF we make friends it's just a plus.

[making-it-through-life]

[making-it-through-life]

What is Pain?

I feel like it is a loaded question when talking about pain. There are different levels, different perspectives, and even different feelings involved. Each person feels each emotion differently even if it's only slightly.

So why is it that pain is not talked about more or given a better description?

I think the reason is that people want to avoid that part of life... even though it is that part of life that makes most of us who we are. I know that the pain and sorrow I have gone through have given me a different perspective on life but also allowed me to make choices to get to where I want to be.

Without those experiences, my life would be very different and I wouldn't have the same people I cherish because I didn't alter my perspective and allow for a bigger understanding of the meaning of life.

For me the pain I have experienced gives me the strength to change what I don't like in my life, to separate from the individuals that cause pain either on purpose or by their ignorance. I would love to know if others felt this way and how as a collective we could change the perspective of all those that are blissfully ignorant to this emotion and experience.

I have learned to accept that pain is another way to grow in our ever-changing world. I think that it is something that once identified is not a negative but a characteristic that allows us to fully grow to our potential based on experiences.

[making-it-through-life]

Addicted to Someone Who's Addicted to Video Games

Every day its the same thing from him. Get home from work, talk to the cats and then its right to the damn PC to play what ever game he addicted to at this point. Like I don't get a hello kiss or any greeting. We have been together for 3 years and I have recently had to compete for attention which is heart wrenching. Being told no I don't want to eat dinner together or watch a show because I am playing with my internet friends....

WHY do I put up with it, well honestly I have began questioning that. There is no reason to stay if they aren't willing to fight for the relationship and make it grow. It isn't a one man show it is a partnership and lately I am doing it all on my own. It is honestly so exhausting I can't deal with it much longer for my mental sake. Being put on a shelf till he wants to play is not fair and I don't ever get the things I want which is really frustrating. I need more, I want more, and narcissistic of me I deserve more.

Another rant from yours truly, I know my life isn't the worst it could be but the mental and emotional abuse has gotten bad and the neglect is just another form of abuse. There has to be a better person out there for me..... Right?

Maybe I am meant to be alone and has pets to keep me company.

[making-it-through-life]

Abolish by Devin-Francisco

This artist on Instagram

[making-it-through-life]

Peace of Mind

Peace of mind is an interesting concept but it also seems like a mirage that hides the truth. There is this idea that when one finally meets their goals, dreams, there is a moment of peace. In actuality there is no peace of mind, it is the perception that things will be okay and a moment can be taken to relax. In reality, there isn't, it is the same every day just one takes the time to daydream and think of a better opportunity or life.

I feel like there is a time that one needs to step back and look at their life. Is it really worth the drama and stress to be someone you aren't or don't want to be? I wish I could be alone but also loved... I want my cake and to eat it too but in the aspect of love and space.

Relationships are hard and people never know the right things to say. I want the epic romance but want that moment of serenity. I need to have the peace to try and work through my own issues but also want someone to love me forever. I wish the person I had now saw the truth and realized the epic love we could have by just putting in the effort.

[making-it-through-life]

Relationships... why be in one

Going on three years with someone that seems to just want to be with his mom... Like I get the want to be taken care of because I want that too but to neglect the emotions and put on armor to have a conversation... That just seems childish to me. WHY would I want someone that doesn't fill the cup with me. WHY want someone that chooses video games and internet friends over me... Like personal time is great unless that is all you're doing is personal time. No building of the relationship, no meaningful conversations... Not even intimacy. I am dating a momma's boy and I think it is out of hand. Maybe I am expecting too much... maybe my mind was ruined by Disney and Hallmark movies but I want more. I expect more, but will I get it???? Who knows anymore, I feel like this generation has forgotten how to love and think of another solely because you cherish them and want to make them happier than they already are. NO expectations behave my happiness solely because of another but I would want someone that wants to make me smile for no reason, give me small gestures to make me happy. I don't think that is asking too much...

Guess I am gonna build a time machine and try to correct these issues in the past, but seriously can we???

[making-it-through-life]

[making-it-through-life]

Another Day to Make a Dollar

Wow... what we put ourselves through to make money and have a decent life. Unless you live in California where you'll never make enough to survive or "Live". I can't explain how the whole thing makes me feel because it is so devoid of emotion. Not being able to make enough money to live comfortably because of factors out of my control, I.e. taxes, cost of living, food prices, and the worst of all gas prices.

There is no way to be happy and live life when all you do is work to live.... what happened to the 40s and '50s when people lived because they saw the worst parts of the world and wanted to enjoy what they had. Why can't we go back to that mindset, where we value family and friends over money and materials.

Life would be simpler and people would be genuinely happier...