marnietv

[marnietv]

BF HEADCANONS ❥ ARTHUR HILL

contains: smut, fluff, angst. mentions of alcohol.

a/n: last one of the bf headcanons 🤗

boyfriend!arthur… your very own popstar boyfriend.

boyfriend!arthur… he loves showing you all his songs before they get released to get your opinion on them.

“do you think they’ll like it?”

boyfriend!arthur… brings you to all his tours/festivals. feels much more calm on stage knowing you’re behind the curtain watching him.

boyfriend!arthur… you’re literally his biggest fan girl, you know every song, every lyric, every adlib.

boyfriend!arthur… loves the idea of you having some sort of feature in a song, even like a tiny adlib. but people would know it’s you.

boyfriend!arthur… loves being all over you in private and public.

boyfriend!arthur… is not afraid to touch you in front of his friends or the cameras.

“i’m gonna hug my girlfriend, leave me alone.”

boyfriend!arthur… his love language is definitely physical touch. worried he gets too much for you sometimes though but you’re constantly reassuring him that it’s fine and you love it.

boyfriend!arthur… gets you in the platform roulettes to get drunk with him and do karaoke.

boyfriend!arthur… but he also loves that you get louder when you’re drunk, the anxiety just disappears.

boyfriend!arthur… loves showing you off on his social media, even subtly.

boyfriend!arthur… he’ll purposely match his outfits to yours.

“oh look we’re matching.” “arthur you did it on purpose.” “i actually didn’t!”

boyfriend!arthur… hates that you just piss yourself when he’s crashing out, he’s like “you should be on my side.” even though he knows you are ?????

boyfriend!arthur… forces you to film a thousand tiktoks to promote his new songs.

“arthur, the song is gonna drive me crazy before it’s even out.”

NSFW

boyfriend!arthur… such a munch. could honestly live between your thighs, he loves the way he always has your legs shaking.

boyfriend!arthur… obsessed with how loud you can get, even if you get embarrassed he’s always like;

“no no keep going, let me hear those pretty sounds.”

boyfriend!arthur… i think his favourite position would be missionary, loves to look in your eyes when you fall apart.

boyfriend!arthur… huge on praise. more so giving but likes receiving too.

boyfriend!arthur… literally falls apart when you pull his hair.

“shit- do that again.”

boyfriend!arthur… is so open to any secret kink you have, or anything you wanna experiment with. but crosses the line with anything that involves inflicting serious pain.

boyfriend!arthur… can see him being a 🍒 kinda guy, always stares at them. even just in casual clothing he’s like 🤤🤤.

DURING AN ARGUMENT

boyfriend!arthur… we all know how much of a crash out he is!!!

boyfriend!arthur… hates going to bed angry though always wants to resolve things with you but even after he’s like;

“are you okay?” “are you still upset with me?” “i’m sorry baby.”

boyfriend!arthur… if he realises he’s in the wrong he’s so apologetic.

boyfriend!arthur… such a crash out but is lowkey sensitive when it comes to you though.

boyfriend!arthur… hates the idea of hurting you in any way cause he’d never wanna do it on purpose.

boyfriend!arthur… will go to bach for advice, especially in the beginning. but never says the exact situation.

“hypothetically, if this happened, what would you say.”

boyfriend!arthur… hates when you give him silent treatment if you’re really pissed off, will literally follow you around like a lost puppy begging you to talk to him.

“baby, please talk to me. let’s resolve this.”

tags: @luvdixon @livvymd @lilyyxoii @wherethezoes-at @madsclarkey @willnees @pretendyoucantseeme @sdmnpact @writer-jamie

[marnietv]

YOUR RELATIONSHIP (HILL)

pairing: arthur hill x fem!reader

summary: a peak into your relationship with arthur

warnings/contents: swearing, sexual innuendos (lots of it, kinda went crazy with this one . . . though in my defence i was listening to his songs)

author’s note: there is something about arthur, he’s a great singer, looks amazing and hot in a weird way, and is hilarious, want a boyfriend like him

- you meet when he’s at the beginning of his music career so 2022-23

- you were at a bar where there were open mic nights and he performed

- you fell in love with his voice and you thought he was really cute ☺️

- you usually wouldn’t be the one to approach but the few drinks you had in you acted like liquid confidence

- you sought him out and find him with his friends

- you said he was good and got talking and accidentally blurted that you thought he was cute

- you were so embarrassed at yourself because that’s something sixteen-year-old you would do not twenty two-year-old you would do

- he just laughed and said he thought you were cute too

- offered to buy you a drink and you ended up going home together 🤭

- when you woke up, you immediately left because you forgot you had planned to meet up with a friend

- thank GOD you exchanged numbers the night before so you texted him what happened and said you would love to go on a date

- he agreed and you went out a couple times before he asked you to be his girlfriend ❤️

- said yes obv because who wouldn’t

- he’s cute, can sing, and a gentleman 💐

- you are a chill couple and petty equal with splitting the cheque but this man spoils you as much as he can

- date nights, gifts, flowers randomly, little notes, he has done it all

- you guys more like staying in and ordering takeout than actually going out

- you prefer chinese food and a movie to a fancy dinner in a restaurant

- you both like the comfort of your apartment and you don’t have to tone down the PDA

- you two are a VERY hands on couple (if you couldn’t gather that from the countless songs he’s written about it)

- this can be bad when he’s living with chris and george ‼️

- have been late to reservations and friend dinners too many times (it’s a bad habit, you admit it 😔)

- they don’t even ask where you were anymore, they just know 😉

- even if they didn’t know, the flushed faces and messed up hair gave it away

- they started to make bets on how late you will be

- george and arthurtv are the closest most of the time

- speaking of george and arthur, you are the one who picks and drops off the boys from platform roulette

- you are an actual blessing 🙏

- deserve so much for putting up with them when they’re drunk (and sober too)

- it takes on average 10 minutes to get them all in the car with seatbelts buckled

- arthur keeps trying to kiss you (he gets clingy, more than usual), george is being george but more rowdy, and arthurtv is spacing out and doesn’t know where he is

- but you always get everyone home safe

- you have a specific routine for arthur now to help wrangle him into bed and asleep

- includes a lot of hugging and whining

- he would be picked apart if his friends found out how he acted

- you loved it though

- at the end of the day, you and arthur end up in bed with him being the big spoon (except when he’s drunk, then he prefers little) and his snoring in your ear

- i feel like he would love when you play with his hair and scratch his head

- send him straight to sleep 💤

- you also play with the hair on the back of his neck to help with anxiety

- you’d sometimes do this before shows where he’d get really nervous

- just have to mention you’d have the best concert fits 💅

- arthur gets jealous sometimes

- especially when you use parts of his wardrobe in these outfits and they look better on you

- “well alright then, steal the fuckin’ show why don’t you” 🙄

- he’s obviously joking (is he?)

- you help dress him sometimes too

- and where’s your paycheque??

- you go to all the shows you can

- and you are the loudest in the room ‼️

- this man can always count on you to get the vibe up (though he can do it, no doubt)

- he does this thing where he winks at you during the line “but baby so do you” in late for the reservation and it makes you blush EVERY TIME

- and he knows and he does it because it makes you blush and riles you up

- the first time he did that you were not expecting it

- and let’s just say if you did have a reservation that night, you wouldn’t even be late, you’d miss it 😉

- people find you hilarious together

- lots of funny tiktok’s together

- beg to see more of you after your first few together

- he lets you in a video after awhile 🤭

- comments are just FULL of people fangirling over you

- especially if you are part of a platform roulette

- even just a couple minutes

- act like a mum with a bunch of rowdy young sons

- arthurtv and chris are your sons

- “no, george ━━ don’t do that! chris! arthur frederick come back this instant!”

- get along GREAT with his mum

- have definitely been on the mummy’s boy podcast and vibed with lisa the whole time

- it’s like your boyfriend isn’t even there

- his mum also loves you sooo much ❤️

- have mother-daughter dates with her every week ☕️

- chat shit about her son like the queens you are 👑 (just kidding . . . not really)

- if he really pissed you off you’d tell her

- he can get jealous by the amount of time you spend with his mum and his twin sister

- every holiday you go to his house they immediately steal you away

- they claim they haven’t seen you in forever but arthur calls bullshit (you facetime all the time)

- you are invited to family holidays and gatherings

- act like children together on holidays

- brings out your inner child (and mermaid 🧜‍♀️)

- because you do MAKE him play mermaids

- he says he doesn’t like it but he acts like a seven year old girl with how serious he gets 🙄

- “no, you can’t change your powers again! that’s so unfair!”

- they know you are going to get married someday 💍

- both of your parents are waiting so they can have some grandbabies

- you won’t get actual babies for a while but you do get furbabies

- you are a animal lover ‼️

- cats, dogs, insects, you name it

- you’d have a million animals if you could but arthur had to limit the amount due to you both living with chris and george

- he knows everything about you, even the things you’ve forgotten

- a drink you said you liked a couple weeks ago? it showed up in the fridge

- a chocolate you mentioned liking as a kid? he gets it for you

- and you know damn well he makes sure chris and george don’t eat it

- will hit them in the back of the head if he catches them even thinking about it

- he is the best boyfriend you have ever had ❤️

- he treats you soooo good and knows everything about you, and vice versa

[marnietv]

need me a man like this asap

HEADCANNONS •

A. HILL

SUMMARY ౨ৎ in which dj is obsessed with arthur hill, and creates headcannons on him :)

WARNINGS ʚ fluff, nsfw, just very domestic fluff !!!

౨ৎ

i think he makes it known you two are together, however nothing much is said. some photos are posted of eachother on date nights, holidays, etc, but things are still very private.

he's quite shy. you give him a compliment and he's covering his face either in your shoulder or just with his hands. you tease him for this !!!

i think he's also very very domestic ! when sitting on the settee, your legs will find their way onto his lap, and his hand will just automatically go to your socked feet and start massaging them.

another domestic headcanon, he loves when u cook and loves to put on a fake deep singing voice, forcing you to dance around the kitchen, while you're trying to cook dinner. obviously you have a love-sick smile on your face, but he's apologising when you spill some food (despite the fact that his face is also covered in a huge smile)

he finds his way next u no matter where he is. apartment game night? he's sat next to you, or on the floor infront of you, as his head rests on your knees behind him. in the pub? he's stood next to you, with a careful hand on your waist. shopping? he's holding your hand and memorising all the things you point out so he can buy them later.

i don't think he'd be a very jealous type, not confrontational anyway.

he'd probably get jealous and tell you in private about the guy flirting with you and how it pissed him off, but he wouldn't make a scene in public.

he's very cuddly, and i think he might just be the little spoon? especially after a few drinks he loves to lay on your chest or have your arms around him. however sober, he likes u on his chest so he can run his hands through your hair, or trace patterns on your back.

he loves to do small somewhat stupid things just to make u smile. he'll fill your hot water bottle before bed, despite the fact that it makes him sweat. he refreshes your cup with iced water whenever it's running low. he grabs your favourite drink anytime he walks past a coffee shop. small things that he doesn't need to do, but he enjoys doing them anyway!

when kissing he grabs both sides of your face like a starved man.

he loves kissing !!! it's his favourite thing ever (confirmed actually guys!)

he likes small pda. rubbing a hand on your knee or thigh when sat next to each other, hand holding, arm wrapped around your shoulder (this one is mainly when he's using you for support after a few drinks).

i think as the relationship develops, you will get your own place, but as long as you're okay with it, he's enjoying living with you chris and george for the time being.

he gets so excited to write songs about you !! he wants to show u off so badly, but knows the repercussions of a public relationship, so sticks to singing about you for now.

( slight nsfw below )

i do believe he is very vanilla, but is so whiny

he loves kissing down your stomach omgggg

no1. pussy lover

i think he enjoys being on top, having his face buried in your shoulder as he whines about how good he feels !

i think he gets shy during bjs but once he gets into it, he starts to feel more confident, and holds your hair up for you. either that or his fingers are just tangled in your hair.

gets turned on by pretty much anything you do.

kissing? he's hard. ur cooking? AND wearing an apron? he's hard. ur sitting on the settee, editing a video he has asked for help with? he's hard. this explains his song 'late for the reservation' as he got turned on by watching you put in earrings for date night.

[marnietv]

i need christmas so bad

❝ but i'ma be under the mistletoe with you ❞

# prompts; 6: "They kiss under the mistletoe." 7: ^ but A does the, "Oops, I'm holding mistletoe above us, guess we have to kiss." thing.

# playlist; mistletoe - Justin Bieber

# word count; 737

# note; merry christmas to all who celebrate, & Happy Holidays to those who don't<333 i missed writing for arthur so much omg.

The holidays are always a stressful time, however, more than half of your family was abroad for Christmas this year, so you all had chosen to do your family celebrations on New Year instead. Arthur and Lisa were more than happy to have you with them instead.

You spent the morning making and eating a full English, exchanging gifts, and going through their old photo albums much to your boyfriend's protests.

His parents turned in early after a bit of chatter over a few glasses of wine, leaving you lying on the couch stuffed from both dinner and copious amounts of cookies. You tap the arm he has lazily resting on your chest, "'m gonna go get some water," he whines but when you lift his arm he sighs, dramatically letting it fall back against his chest.

"Don't be long," he calls out when you disappear off into the kitchen, his eyes catch a branch of mistletoe on the mantle he presumes his mum set out to add to her decor, giving him an idea.

He listens for you intently, when he finally hears you rummaging through the the freezer for ice, he takes the opportunity to set his plan into motion, he grabs the branch and leans against the door frame, silently watching you.

When you turn, you raise the cup to your lips until you spot him and more importantly the mistletoe he's holding above the door, making you snort, "if you wanted a kiss, you could've just asked," you mumble, shaking your head.

You shuffle toward him agonizingly slow. Arthur reaches out for you, his free hand pulling you into him by the front of your matching, festive pajamas. A confident smirk falls from your face, and a gasp escapes you at the sudden movement.

The feeling of the water swishing in the glass, the only sound now is the ice clinking against it. His voice interrupts the silence, suddenly having dropped an octave compared to earlier, "Oh look at that," his eyes flick up to what's pinched between his fingers, "Guess we might have to kiss, now..."

Setting the glass on the counter next to you, before you hum, "Think you might be right."

He smiles content with the fact that you're going along with things, he shrugs, "I don't make the rules," he pulls you into him impossibly closer, watching how your lips twitch slightly. You're floored and Arthur can simultaneously see and feel it, "May I?"

Smiling once more at how he never fails to make sure you're comfortable, "You may," somehow you've found yourself breathless at his words and demeanor alone. He dips down to catch your mouth with his, facial hair tickles your upper lip when he tilts his head to deepen the kiss.

Arthur's hands, warm and strong, slowly slide under the hoodie you had stolen earlier that morning. As he presses you back against the counter, your bodies locked together, you both freeze at the sound of a voice calling out just behind you, "Arthur, you've got a bedroom for a reason."

Lisa, shit. He steps away from you quickly, running his hands over his face and through his hair, "Sorry, mum," he mutters, he always talks about how comfortable they are with talking about certain things but you find yourself wanting to giggle at how he can't meet her eyes.

"She's a nice girl, she doesn't need to be done on my counter," you can't stifle your laughter now, you watch in your peripheral the way his face twists, "Mum! I understand, please," he pleads, obviously hating this conversation.

Lisa scoffs as she turns on her heels deciding she's said enough to his face, but she continues mumbling about raising him to be a gentleman as she disappears around the corner and shuts her bedroom door loudly.

"That's so embarrassing," he groans, hiding his face in his hands with a sigh. You reach for his wrists, tugging them away gently to reveal his reddening cheeks. "'ts not embarrassing," you reassure him, a small smile on your lips. "It's sweet; she cares."

He shakes his head, letting out a low chuckle as he drops it onto your shoulder. "Such a cockblock," he mutters into your ear. You flick the back of his neck, making him step back, rubbing the spot with a mock frown. "Maybe it's a sign we shouldn't be shagging in your parents' house, hm?"

[marnietv]

RAHHHHH

JUST FRIENDS •

A.HILL

SUMMARY ౨ৎ three times you and arthur were "just friends" and one time you realised maybe you weren't "just friends." i had this idea for george, but then decided to switch it to arthur hill cuz i just love him. if u wanna read a george version, then i recommend this!!

WARNINGS ʚ fluff!! smut (fem!reader) friends that are more than friends situation. completely blind arthur and reader ! no safe sex (pls ignore them stay safe) i think this sucks sorry.

౨ৎ

number i.

you were laying on arthur's settee, in his, chris' and george's shared apartment, with mascara streaks down your face.

"i'm not gonna say i told you so, but.." arthur sighed, picking your feet up, and placing them on his lap, as he handed you a tea. you sipped it quietly, placing it on the coffee table, and slumping back down.

"i just- i thought he was different, you know?" you muttered, plucking at the strings on a blanket.

"i know, i understand," arthur massaged your ankle softly, "he's a prick, im sorry."

"it isn't your fault.." you sniffled, wiping your nose, "he's a pathetic cheater."

"amen." arthur smirked, patting your ankle, and turning the tv on, putting on one of your favourite movies.

around five minutes had passed, before he heard small sobs escaping you, eyes squeezing shut in attempt to not let them fall.

"come here.." he whispered, taking your feet off his lap, and guiding you into his arms. you heard his heartbeat in his chest, as his arms wrapped around you, causing you to feel safe, warm, and loved.

god, you hate the way your heart skipped at the mention of feeling loved by arthur.

you were just friends.

number ii.

your heart was beating loud, and your head was spinning, as the alcohol running through your veins began to make you tired.

you had just come back from filming a pub golf video, and decided to come back with george, as you were definitely too drunk to take any sort of public transport alone.

"drink this," george muttered, handing you a glass of water, and heading to arthur's room. arthur pattered his way out, dressed in his pyjama bottoms and a black shirt. a grin spread across his face when he saw you. you ignored the tightness in your chest when that happened.

"hi, beautiful," he teased, ruffling your already windswept hair. you rolled your eyes, placing the glass down on the counter, and looking at him with droopy eyes.

"hi.."

"you feeling a bit rough?-"

"shut up."

he chuckled, a small frown-smile on his face, as his hands went to both sides of your thighs, slotting himself between your legs.

"let's go to bed, huh?" he asked, though it was more rhetorical, as he placed his hands on your wrists, wrapping them around his neck, and picking you up. you mumbled something incoherent, as he carried you to the bedroom.

his bedroom.

you had shared a bed platonically multiple times, this time being one of them. you had known each other for around 8 years now, meeting when you were eighteen, and the amount of sleepovers you had had, was countless.

in fact, looking back, you couldn't even remember how you met. all you remember is bumping into this weird nerd, and next thing you know you were best friends.

sharing a bed never really changed your friendship.

you were just friends.

number iii.

the bar was loud, and the counter was sticky, as you leant against it, waiting for your drink to arrive. you were alone at the bar, as arthur and your mutual friends were at a booth a bit away.

all was going fine until you began to smell a very strong and very cheap aftershave, emitting from your right side.

"hey pretty," a guy smiled, his teeth slightly crooked, as he leaned against the bar beside you

"erm, hi," you smiled awkwardly, not enjoying the way his eyes raked over your dress. you suddenly became self conscious on how tight it fit your curves, and how your boobs threatened to spill over the top.

"what's a little thing like you doing here at the bar, alone?" he asked, his voice low, as he became closer. your body moved back out of instinct.

"little? i'm-" you sighed, "i'm not alone-"

"yeah, whatever, can i buy you a drink?" he asked, cutting you off. you rolled your eyes and clenched your jaw, breathing out your nose.

"absolutely not-"

"hey, babe, is everything okay?" you felt a familiar arm wrap around your shoulder, kissing your cheek softly. the heat rose to your cheeks, as you immediately recognised his voice.

arthur.

the guy left quickly , almost as if you blinked and he was gone.

"thanks, my hero" you smirked, holding a hand on his wrist that hung over your shoulder.

"anytime, babe." he said sarcastically, placing a wet kiss to your cheek, before grabbing your freshly made drink, and leading you back to the booth. your stomach flipped. you rolled your eyes and scoffed, brushing his arm off jokingly, immediately missing the warmth he gave.

you ignored the way chris and george gave eachother a knowing look, like there was an inside joke you weren't in on.

you were just friends.

until you weren't.

number iv.

you were currently spending the night at arthur's apartment. in arthur's bed. per usual.

the only thing different, was this time, thunder was rattling outside the window. you weren't the biggest fan of thunder. it was all fine, until a strike of lightning had passed, and your body shook at the sound.

arthur seemed to notice, and pulled you into him, his chest flush to your back. he regretted this decision almost immediately, as he seemed to forget you were sleeping in one of his shirts and some underwear. he felt your ass, covered by a thin piece of fabric, brush against his joggers.

his neck flushed, and he tucked his head into the back of your neck, trying everything to regulate his breathing.

you, on the other hand, were feeling much less scared. you felt his growing hardness poke your backside, and a small smirk grew on your face. if it was anyone else, you'd have apologised and simply moved away, but something about arthur made you want to encourage it further.

you moved closer, shuffling your hips, disguising it as 'just getting comfy.' his breath hitched as you moved, and his hips very slightly bucked. so slightly, you almost missed it, but you didn't. you felt it. him.

"arthur.." you muttered, as he hummed. you turned around in his arms, now you were face to face.

"why have you gone so red?" you teased, reaching a hand up to his cheek. thunder struck again, however this time you ignored it, too busy with something more important.

"you're seeing things, i think," he muttered, trying to tuck his face into your neck, as you giggled, your own face flushing, as you wrap you leg around his hip.

his hand reaches down to stroke your thigh, electric touches releasing at every movement his fingers made.

your breath hitched, as he lay face to face with you, faces inches from eachother, sharing the same breath. you had always know arthur was gorgeous, but the way he was looking at you now, the moonlight accentuating his features, was one of your favourite looks on him.

both of you seemed to be slightly speechless, unsure on what to do next, before his hand reached out to touch your face, stroking your jaw softly. he leaned in, slightly hesitant at first, before you also leaned in and connected your lips.

there was no fireworks, or crazy romantic music, but there was warmth, and there was love. wether you were 'just friends' or not, you knew you'd be more once this night was over.

your lips moved in sync, as his hand went down and spread out across your thigh again. you lifted your head off the pillow, deepening the kiss, as you leaned on your elbow.

arthur pulled your thigh closer, causing your body to shift and somehow ending up straddling his lap. your lips parted for a second, taking a small breather, before he eagerly held the side of your face, and pulled you in again.

the night could've ended like this, and you would have been more than satisfied. however, luckily for you, it wasn't going to end here.

your hips moved slightly above him, and his hands flew to your hips, encouraging the movement. his tongue danced with yours, as you slowly began rocking your hips against his clothed hard on.

he pulled back to mutter out a small 'fuck..' , looking down to where your bodies connected, the only thing separating you was some flimsy pieces of fabric. a small wet patch seeped through your underwear onto his joggers, and he let out a small groan at the sight.

"you're unbelievable.." he whispered, kissing along your jaw, as your head rested on his shoulder, feeling the heat in your core grow.

a small whimper left your lips, as you felt your clothed cunt rub against him. the pressure of the cotton spurring you both on, as his hands guided your hips.

you lifted your head, hands on his chest, as your hips ground down with more pressure. his eyes closed, before opening again, as if he were scared to miss anything. he began to slowly lift his hands to above your hips, sliding under your top now, and caressing your sides, slightly revealing your belly, and your black lace panties.

"god, you're so gorgeous.." he whispered, almost as if he meant to say it in his head, but let it slip out. you smiled at the compliment, biting your lip, before stopping your movement, and beginning to untie his joggers.

his let you do so, lifting his hips as you pulled them down, along with his boxers, revealing his hard leaking cock.

you moaned at the sight, automatically reaching out to spread the precum along the tip. he let out a sensitive whimper at this, placing his lip between his teeth to avoid any more noises escaping. you hated that.

"don't do that, let me hear you, please," you sighed, leaning down, and kissing him softly. his lips moved in tandem with yours, as your hand began to stroke him softly. he moaned into your mouth, hips bucking slightly into your palm.

"god, that's feels good.." he said, clenching his jaw, looking down between you both, watching how you handled him.

"yeah? that make you feel good, baby?" you teased, hand moving slow, as your kisses peppered his jaw.

"you're going to drive me crazy.." he whispered, hips matching your slow pace, letting out a needy whimper. you just giggled softly, a sound that was like music to his ears.

"more, please, baby.." he said, hand tangling in your hair, as he pulled you in for another kiss, tongues fighting with eachother, before you pulled your hand away, and moved your panties to the side, breaking the kiss.

"only because you asked so nicely.." you teased, before slowly rubbing your wet cunt against his tip. he sighed softly, lining himself up with you and helping you sink down, with hands on your hips, strong enough to bruise.

arthur's head fell back with a low groan, as he felt every inch of you wrap around him. he muttered out a small profanity, as he held you still in his lap.

"don't move, please, not yet.." he said quietly, as you complied, kissing along his jaw. you stayed like this for around a minute, before your cunt was begging for attention, and you began slowly grinding slow circles on his dick.

"jesus christ.." arthur whined. he actually whined. he couldn't help but slowly thrust his hips up to match your slow circles. you moaned, your cunt dripping, and beginning to move up and down on his dick. you sat up, hands on his chest, as his eyes were glued to where you were connected, watching his cock covered in your slick. he had to move his eyes away when he felt his core tighten, not wanting to finish before it had even started.

your back arched, feeling his dick move inside your cunt, nothing but the wet sounds of skin slapping together, and hushed moans filling the room. the smell of sex began to fill the air, as his thumb moved to circle your clit, causing you to release your lip from between your teeth, and let out a moan.

"shh, we don't want to wake the others.." arthur whispered, pulling you down to kiss his lips, shushing your moans. his hips began to thrust up into you at a new angle, causing both you and him to moan more, slightly quieter this time. you felt yourself getting closer to climax embarrassingly quick.

"fuck.. arthur i'm-" you cut yourself off, with a short whimper, as he just nodded, and whispered a small "i know, me too."

he kissed your jaw, before continuing his attack on your clit, thrusts becoming quicker, and more desperate. moans escaped your mouth, no longer caring about who hears.

both of your climaxes came quick, knots in your cores tightening with each thrust, before they finally released. he groaned, quickly pulling you in for a kiss to shush both of your noises, as he rode you through your high.

the silence after was comforting, as your cunt throbbed in the aftermath. his hands slowly rubbed up and down your back, pressing soft kisses to your hairline. you heard his heartbeat almost explode out of his chest, and you kissed one of his tattoos, and sat up to look at him.

"one way to distract you from a storm.." he joked, as you slapped him softly on the arm, holding back a grin.

the aftercare was everything you had ever dreamed for. soft touches in the shower, and calming fingers running through your hair. the night ended with your head resting on his chest, damp hair sprawled across his arm. his hand rubbed across your thigh, as you put on a tv show to fall asleep to. neither of you really spoke about what happens next, and decided it was best to just wait and see.

one thing was for sure though, you were more than just friends.

[marnietv]

this is genuinely one of my favourite things ever

BF HEADCANONS ❥ ARTHUR FREDERICK!

contains: arthur being a cutie bf, suggestive content, smut, angst

a/n: someone asked for this a few weeks ago so here it isss! also might end up do will ones cause my fav girl has fully turned me into a will girl. credits and thank you to said fav girl for headcanons 6 & 7 you angel @luvdixon 🤍

boyfriend!arthur… AHHH CUTIE PIE

boyfriend!arthur… literally obsessed with giving you random facts, like whilst you’re cleaning the kitchen or something he’ll start by being like;

“babe, did you know…?”

boyfriend!arthur… teaches you how to play chess and always arranges chess dates atleast once a month when you’re both free.

boyfriend!arthur… you’re so close with his little sisters and treat them like your sisters it makes him so happy.

boyfriend!arthur… literally begs you to come on the podcast as a guest because he wants everyone to see how amazing you are.

“they’ll love you just like me!”

boyfriend!arthur… when he takes you shopping ofc he buys you anything you wanna get but he’ll always make a deal with you that he only will if you go look at the lego’s with him, he’ll never buy them though weirdly enough so you’re just kind of following him around. he’d always pick them up though and be like,

“look at this, i love this.”

boyfriend!arthur… who’s the type of bf to not let you get out the car unless he’s the one opening the door for you.

boyfriend!arthur… definitely has a spotify playlist dedicated to you, he’d go through every song and explain why it’s in the playlist and how it relates to you or your relationship.

boyfriend!arthur… such a sweetheart when you’re on your period. takes such good care of you, and does whatever he can to help you.

“please let me know if i can do anything.”

boyfriend!arthur… takes you on double dates with bach & liv. ends up just being you and liv getting drunk x

boyfriend!arthur… forces you to watch lord of the rings. watches his favourite one over and over until it’s your favourite too.

boyfriend!arthur… posts you everywhere and isn’t afraid to show you offfff.

boyfriend!arthur… feel like he’s lowkey love if you’d put makeup on him, just cause he likes seeing the smile on your face.

“well, if it makes you happy.”

boyfriend!arthur… makes you play horror games with him then will call himself “your big strong bf” if you automatically hold onto him when you scream (just like bach).

boyfriend!arthur… practically the third wheel in your own relationship with him and bach, but you and liv do the same so you can’t complain 😛

boyfriend!arthur… but you’re also lowk a third wheel with him and chip??? but again sabina’s your girllll.

NSFW!

boyfriend!arthur… i think he’s a both 🍒🍑 kinda guy.

boyfriend!arthur… guys a munchhhh. atp he does it for a hobby.

boyfriend!arthur… his favourite position is missionary, thinks it’s so so intimate and he loves being close to you.

boyfriend!arthur… but also loves when you’re on top. guys a sub what are you gonna do about it.

boyfriend!arthur… has a raging praise kink!!!!!!

boyfriend!arthur… loves when you mark him, especially when you scratch his back (we all heard what he said when he was playing a game with bach😝).

boyfriend!arthur… is open to anything but nothing that’s going to inflict pain on you.

boyfriend!arthur… we all also heard what he said on the chrismd north v south vid 🫠 “it’s just big”

boyfriend!arthur… your pleasure is always his main priority, makes sure you cum before he does.

boyfriend!arthur… doesn’t have much experience but knows what he’s doing with it for sure.

boyfriend!arthur… isn’t afraid to be loud either.

DURING AN ARGUMENT!

boyfriend!arthur… hates hates HATES arguing with you.

boyfriend!arthur… lowk sounds professional when he’s arguing, bro comes with evidence.

boyfriend!arthur… no jokes are made during an argument, it’s always so serious until it gets resolved then he’ll be like,

“so what do we do now?”

boyfriend!arthur… he might stutter every now and then which will make you giggle but he’s there like

“😐i don’t find it funny.”

boyfriend!arthur… so good at communicating which makes life easier for both of you.

“i’m sorry you feel that way, is there anything i can do?” “we’re gonna fix this together.”

boyfriend!arthur… will never be nasty towards you, only jokingly in unserious situations but never in arguments. is always a respectful gentleman.

boyfriend!arthur… you always end up arguing over silly things anyway like chess or lego.

tags: @luvdixon @livvymd @lilyyxoii @wherethezoes-at

[marnietv]

i loveeeeee

You Left Your Glasses

Atv x reader - fluff, suggestive

A/N: GUYS IVE TAKEN A HUMONGOUS BREAK but im back heh heh... I have written up most of the requests I have and they will be coming out within the next couple weeks so stay tuned. I felt selfish so im posting this first cuz this fic was my idea and I LOVE ITTTTTT (i fear ive become irrelevemt bc i havent posted in so long but its okay) so sorry for the ppl who have requested shit and it hasnt been posted yet but rest assured, most of it is actuaslly finished i just need to post!!!!! love yall x

My Masterlist

C/W: negative body image mention, making out, confessions, and pure cuteness

You were the one who suggested it. A pool day. Something chill before the chaos of filming ramped up again, and everyone had enthusiastically agreed in the group chat last night.

But now?

Liv had a "headache" (she sent a very clear selfie of her in bed eating ice cream—no signs of distress). Isaac suddenly had to sort something out with his footage and Chris, Arthur Hill and George? They just didn't reply.

Which is how you ended up standing awkwardly in your oversized t-shirt, arms crossed, next to Arthur at the edge of the pool.

“Guess it’s just us then,” he said, grinning that stupid little boyish grin that already made your stomach flutter.

“I swear they ditched us on purpose,” you muttered. “Liv sent me a picture of cake.”

Arthur shrugged, toes dipping in. “More pool space for us.”

You nudged him with your shoulder. “You'll probably accidentally give yourself a concussion.”

You both ended up laughing as you dipped in slowly instead, water up to your chest. It was one of those rare perfect-weather days—not too hot, no wind, the water sparkling. For a few blissful minutes, it was just splash fights and floating next to each other, dumb jokes about who could do a better handstand.

At one point, you climbed out of the pool and tugged your t-shirt back on over your bikini.

Arthur was drying his hair with a towel, but when he looked over, his eyes lingered for a moment too long. You didn’t notice at first, fussing with the shirt and tugging the hem down.

But then you laughed nervously and joked, “Sorry, I know I’m built like a sad pear.”

Arthur blinked. “What?”

You shrugged, trying to brush it off. “I just look weird in swimsuits, that’s all. I don’t know why I thought it would be a good idea to wear this.”

He walked over slowly, brows slightly furrowed.

“You don’t,” he said softly, voice a little unsure but firm underneath. “Look weird, I mean.”

You gave a half-hearted shrug, arms still crossed.

“I’m serious,” Arthur added, voice steadier now. “You—you look really pretty. Like. Really pretty.”

You blinked at him, caught off guard.

“I’m just built weird,” you mumbled with a half-hearted smile feeling awkward.. “Bit soft. Bit—”

“You’re not,” he interrupted, gently, and it made you shut up instantly. His eyes were all wide and serious now, not even a hint of teasing. “I hate when you talk about yourself like that. I wish you could see what I see.”

It made your stomach twist. Not in a bad way. In that overwhelming, fluttery, oh-no-I’m-falling kind of way.

And suddenly, you were noticing him. Like really noticing. His arms, his shoulders, the way his wet t-shirt clung slightly to his chest. Why did Arthur have to be so—toned? Like secretly-hot toned?

You looked away, embarrassed, and muttered, “Okay, now it’s you making it weird.”

Arthur laughed nervously. “Sorry. It’s just—you’re staring.”

“You were staring!”

“You started it!”

“I was admiring the pool tiles, thank you very much.”

“Yeah? You admire pool tiles while biting your lip?”

You flushed. “Shut up.”

You both laughed again, falling into that stupid giddy space where everything felt warm and fuzzy. You were standing close now. Too close. The kind of close that only means one thing. You weren’t sure who leaned in first, but your noses brushed and your heart nearly stopped—

“GUYS WERE FREE AND WE BOUGHT CAKE!”

Isaac’s voice shouted from poolside. Liv was also there seemingly recovered from that “headache”.

You both jerked apart like kids caught sneaking out.

Arthur stepped back, rubbing the back of his neck. “I, uh…”

You blinked, still breathless. “We should go—Cake.”

But you were both smiling. Stupidly. Like idiots. Like maybe next time, no one would interrupt.

LATER THAT NIGHT----------------------------------------------------------------------

Your phone buzzed at 10:43 PM.

ArcherTV🍑: pretty sure these are yours?

You smiled, thumbs tapping quickly.

You: wow stealing now? give them back whenever you want 😌

The “…” appeared instantly. Then disappeared. Then came back again.

And then he called.

“Hey,” he said when you answered, voice slightly breathless.

“Hey.”

“You… mean I can bring them now?”

You paused. “You want to?”

There was a beat.

“I’m outside.”

Your heart skipped. “You’re what?”

“I’m outside your flat. I was—I don’t know. I just wanted to—” He sighed. “I brought your sunglasses.”

You jumped up from your couch and padded barefoot to the door, heart doing something incredibly stupid in your chest.

He was standing there, hoodie thrown over the damp curls he hadn’t bothered drying fully, holding your sunglasses in one hand, sheepish grin on his face.

“You’re ridiculous,” you said, but you were smiling.

He offered them out. “Here's your stupid glasses I guess.”

You took them, brushing his fingers. “You’re just looking for an excuse to see me.”

Arthur didn’t deny it. Instead, he looked at you with that same wide-eyed softness from earlier. “Can I come in?”

You stepped aside.

Inside, it was quiet and dim, just the yellow glow of your lamp on. You plopped back onto the couch, and Arthur hesitated before joining you, fidgeting with the drawstrings of his hoodie.

He glanced over at you. “You really meant what you said earlier? About… how you see yourself?”

You looked down. “I mean. Yeah.”

“I hate that,” he said, voice low but steady. “I hate that you think you’re anything less than—fucking gorgeous.”

You glanced at him, surprised by the intensity.

Arthur kept going, cheeks a bit red but gaze unwavering. “I don’t know when it happened, honestly. I just—I kept noticing you more. And then it got worse. Like, way worse. Every time you laughed at one of my dumb jokes or stole my hoodie or let your hair go all frizzy after showers I just—” He let out a shaky breath. “I’ve liked you for a while.”

You stared. “Arthur…”

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier, by the pool. I wasn’t trying to be—”

“No,” you cut in quickly. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I was the one staring.”

Arthur gave a breath of a laugh. “You were biting your lip.”

“I was not!”

“You were,” he said, grin tugging at his mouth. “And you were definitely going to kiss me.”

You raised an eyebrow. “I was going to kiss you?”

“Well—I mean—” He floundered.

You leaned in slightly. “So… we were going to kiss?”

Arthur’s voice dipped. “Yeah. We were.”

Your breath hitched. “Why didn’t we?”

He swallowed. “Because Bach shouted about cake.”

You laughed, and that laugh was all it took—he leaned in fast, hands cupping your jaw as his lips met yours.

It was soft for a second. And then it wasn’t.

The kiss deepened, messy and warm, your fingers curling into the front of his hoodie as he shifted closer, knees bumping yours. His hands slid to your waist, tugging you in until you were nearly in his lap.

You broke the kiss with a breathless laugh. “You’re a good kisser.”

Arthur looked dazed. “Yea you too.”

You grinned. “Come here,” you whispered, grabbing his hand and dragging him up with you, backing toward your bedroom.

He followed, like a puppy.

The second you hit the mattress, it was chaos again—clothes still mostly on but askew, mouths pressed together, your legs tangled as you pulled him on top of you. His hoodie bunched around your fists. He kept groaning softly against your mouth, kissing you like he was making up for years of waiting.

When you finally paused, breathing heavy, he rested his forehead against yours.

“I’ve wanted to do that since the night you vomited on me in the pub golf.”

You laughed. “That was two years ago.”

Arthur rolled his eyes jokingly. “Shut up.”

You rolled your eyes and kissed him again. Then again. Somewhere in the middle of it, he suddenly stiffened slightly and tried to shift his hips away.

You blinked. “Arthur.”

He froze. “What.”

You smirked. “Are you hard?”

He covered his face with a groan. “Oh my God.”

“Arthur!”

“I can’t help it!” he said through his hands, voice high-pitched and panicked. “You’re literally on top of me.”

You were giggling uncontrollably now. “It’s fine, you absolute muppet.”

“I hate you,” he muttered, red-faced.

You kissed the tip of his nose. “You do not.”

He huffed. “Okay, maybe not. Maybe I—like you. A lot. Like, I can't-believe-this-is-happening level of like you.”

Your heart flipped.

You tangled your fingers in his hair and kissed him again, slower this time, and it melted into more whispery confessions between kisses—

“Remember when you wore my hoodie for a week straight?”

“I still have it. Smells like you.”

“Do you know how many times I almost kissed you on film days?”

“I always wanted you to.”

By the 100th time you came up for air, it was 12:47 AM.

Arthur sighed dramatically. “I should go.”

You pouted. “Do you have to?”

He smiled sheepishly while adjusting his clothes. “If I don’t leave now, I’m going to end up glued to you.”

You chuckled. “Right..”

“Shut up.”

You walked him to the door, both of you still rumpled and grinning like idiots. He asked shyly to kiss you again and then he kissed you again, sweet and lingering, before finally backing out into the hall.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“You better.”

And then he was gone.

You closed the door and leaned against it, grinning so hard your cheeks hurt.

Your phone buzzed a few seconds later.

ArcherTV🍑: btw the sunglasses thing was 100% just an excuse to kiss you. 😌

You: yeah i know idiot 😭😭

And you couldn’t stop smiling.

A/N: GUYS IM ON HOLIDAY FOR A WHOLE MONTH AND IM GONNA BE BORED CUZ I HAVE NO COUSINS MY AGE SO I WILL BE WRITING A LOT PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SEND IN REQUESTS. if you wanna be added to the taglist lmk :)

Taglist: @whisperturnedecho @forchencookie @artvscvntymullet @pretendyoucantseeme @tyna-19 @canyouseethesainz @roc-haze @wherethezoes-at @cheekytv @beauty-nd-the-geek @livvymd @dopeysunflowers @formulaal @pookietv @happyclifford @sapphiccaa @rubi-radio @madsclarkey

[marnietv]

PURRRR

MY GIRL | a. buttle

summary: in which alfie has well established he is a taken man since the start.

pairing: ab x reader

notes: basically alfie talking about his girlfriend for 10 minutes! ofc imagine him to be speaking in these clips during shoots on set or during podcasts in the middle of convos! i hope you guys enjoy, it was cute coming up with ideas! pls like and reblog, let me know what your fav part was! share your thoughts! it means the most!! lots of love!! <33

PART OF YOU DIDN’T WANT TO CLICK on the video . . part of you had a dreaded gut feeling that you would cringe hard at whatever this content contained and the length of it put you off further - it was over 10 minutes long - that was more than enough time for your boyfriend to expose all the weird shit you got up to.

▶︎ AB talking about his relationship for 10 minutes straight | 10:55

on the other hand – you wanted to know every single detail this gimp was saying about you.

“—fuckin’ chica and pablo come bargin’ in my room, barking like the fuckin’ feds to mumsy like ‘they’re in here! they bumping bits in here, girl!”

ok.

so maybe you were better leaving it untouched.

chip was too busy trying to breathe through his laughter while calfreezy gasped next to him, “no way, the dogs do you dirty like that! you don’t still live at home, do you?”

“no, no, this was just before i got the grotto. probably the last time before i had enough, not gone back since,” he grinned as the others proceeded to laugh. “final straw. slammed the deposit down on the table after that.”

“man, i can’t imagine the struggle having y’gal over when you’re still living at home,” chip chuckled as freezy took a laughing fit this time. “we been lucky that way, we moved out real young.”

“until you move out, you don’t realise how mad it is but,” alfie shrugged, “what ya gonna do. i think back to times and get goosebumps i’m like was i possessed or something when i was tryna slip it in n’ the MIL strutting about the landin’, tryna get the washing done.” he watched the other two laugh wildly at his diabolical confession. “true story that.”

“bro,” cal chuckled greatly, fanning himself with his card, “red card! red card.”

ok yeah, this was definitely not what you were expecting 10 seconds in.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“so what is your situation? do you have a girlfriend? a situationship? single?”

“no, i got a girl,” he confirmed.

“you have a girl?”

he nodded, “yeah,” scrambling for his phone, he sat comfy on the couch of his first proper podcast appearance. he clicked the lockscreen button and all three pairs of eyes glancing to the mesmerising photo of the bikini-clad girl sat at a table opposite AB. you actually hated the photo, slouched in the plastic chair whilst waiting for your food to come after spending almost 2 hours in the pools at the waterpark, hair drenched from the slides and your boyfriend throwing you under water, you looked like a hot mess in your opinion.

all alfie saw across from him was some tanned, busty model sprinkled in water droplets looking ljke something straight out of a porno mag.

of course, when you kicked off at the sight of it, he said it was ‘lovely!’

“that’s your girl?”

“yeah.”

“do the people know you got a girl?”

“i think so. i mean i don’t hide it. if i bring her up, i bring her up, i don’t try to avoid it or whatnot. i think that makes a bigger deal than what it is. she’s not been in my vids or anything but i’ll talk about her. if she is it’s no longer than a minute or such,” he gave a quick swipe through the other wallpapers on his phone that rotated every hour, showcasing your beauty with cute smiles and gorgeous outfits and the odd one with him in it. he put his phone back in his pocket. “yeah.”

“wow. how long you been together?”

“uhh, coming up three years this year.”

“oh no way!”

“yeah.”

“how’d you guys meet?”

“uh, basically went through school together,” he bounced his leg over the other. “she hated me for majority and then 6th form,” he shrugged, “got wham and she wanted a bit,” he winked at the camera.

“actually?!”

“nah, nah, not entirely. i mean she did fuckin’ hate me in the beginning.”

they laughed at him. “no!”

“yeah, like, i was a nobody to her. she didn’t give a fuck - to be fair, she hated all guys in school like she was never the type that was interested in boys - you know how when you’re first year and you start fancying people and you meet up at parks n shit, have a cheeky kiss behind the swings, talk for a bit on snap — yeah she never did that. nobody had her, even in year 7 like, she fancied no one. when she said man-hater she meant man-hater.”

“is that what you got up to in year 7?” they snickered.

“nah bro, i was – up until 6th form, i was still like, late bloomer bro like no gal wanted me,” he laughed, “i was too busy playin’ minecraft with the boys.”

“so this the only girl you been with?”

alfie closed his eyes and fought back a nervous smile, “broo, y’gonna get me strung up by my gyal, man,” he said in his roadman accent, rubbing his eyes.

you smiled at the sight of him looking like he was walking on eggshells.

“we don’t talk ‘bout that, know what i’m sayin’.”

calfreezy and chippo laughed, seeing the guy perfectly represented how all guys felt when the mention of other females came up prior to their girl.

“nah, she is my first girlfriend, like, proper, in love, relationship,” he awkwardly explained. “just . . drips n drabs before that — fuckin’ hell, you man sweatin’ as well?” you laughed out loud when he dabbed his actually slightly sweaty forehead.

calfreezy kicked his feet as he laughed at the sight of alfie visibly dreading this topic despite laughing nervously.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“nah, 10 times out of 10 i go by myself. the gym with my missus is a whole thing. ‘cause she doesn’t want to work arms . . and i don’t want to work legs . . ‘n then she just gives up ‘cause she can’t be bothered which annoys me but then i annoy her when i try to push her . . then guys come in and i can’t chill ‘cause i feel like they’re looking at her and it’s like fuck . . i’m gonna have to establish dominance here by taking a drink from her fruity ass pink water bottle.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“so did she fancy you in school?”

“i mean, she didn’t really like anyone outside her own little circle in school. let me explain this vibe of my gal alright? her friends were a group of cunts,” he didn’t flinch at their dropped mouths, “i can say that ‘cause they’re not friends anymore, but pure, like, horrible girls when she stopped hanging with them. it’s a whole story, but basically the friend group - i mean, it was mostly one girl stirring it, but the rest followed her like the leader. they were unbearable the last few months of school, like, genuinely, i couldn’t stand them. but y/n like . . you kind of never bothered with her anyway ‘cause she was just like . . i’m not saying you didn’t stand a chance with her but you didn’t. just because . . . she just didn’t like any of the lads from school. she just wasn’t interested in relationships. everyone thought she went with someone from a different school ‘cause there no way she was single out of choice like — she — i mean i’m gonna sound biased but she genuinely was the stunner of the group. of the school to be fair. and the nicest, she was most easiest to approach, it was kind of like a pity she was associated with that group. that was her only flaw.”

“that was her red flag!”

“yeah literally! it’s like . . who are you really if you’re hanging with them? something’s up . . . but nah, like she just wasn’t fussed on lads. she was years ahead in maturity and it was probably like taking on a child in her eyes to get in a relationship at that age. you know what it’s like.”

“no totally, we’ve all been that age. we’re still not fully mature. the immaturity don’t leave us. still get called a manchild by my mrs.”

“yeah! the immaturity, lack of seriousness. proper delusional thinking you could get with someone at that age and expect genuine respect, proper loves you, won’t cheat, will last together type thing. i mean who comes to mind when you think of your old schoolmates who were together that are still together?” he rambled.

“valid. valid.”

“you could talk to her, chance your arm, but it’d be a waste of time, you got nowhere. and the lads weren’t exactly tryna make new mates, y’know what i mean? and she was always with her little crew anyway, so you just dodged the lot of them. her friends said they hated guys too but then got with every man goin,” he had his little vent on that dreadful old friend group of yours, “not my gal though,” he winked at the camera.

“so you won her over.”

“basically, but not in a i-wanted-to-be-her-boyfriend way like i genuinely just wanted her to like me as a person ‘cause she had this whole image painted entirely wrong of me and it used to bug the shit out of me. i was like i’m making it my mission to get you to like me ‘cause i swear i’m not some player–fuckboy type. i’ve got two chihuahuas, mate. i come home, i eat my chicken nuggs, i hop on minecraft and i mind my own business. i might look like i’d cheat on you with some fiat 500 batty but i get nervous ordering at greggs. don’t let the fade fool you, i-i can hardly look a gal in the eye. trust, i ain’t got that roadman ting going on.”

“oh did she think you were a prick?!”

“yeah, like, we were pretty calm in school, we got put through this same class for four years, GCSE to a-level, it was really small, like 10 people and none of my friends were in it, none of hers were so we were like - we still weren’t close but like . . if she needed caught up on notes, she was asking me, y’knaa—” he flicked his hand like he was flexing his rizz on the boys.

“she was asking me for notes—” freezy hit chips arm as he laughed.

“s’like yeah girl, write your number in there while you’re at it,” he joked, “nah but then she dragged me into a argument i weren’t even a part of in front of the whole canteen and made a dick of me so.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“i’m actually really romantic?” alfie defended himself against the older boys in the middle of filming a football shoot.

“what’d you do for valentines?”

“i actually got her a A3 card.”

“that said what? ‘best girlfriend ever?’” chris rolled his eyes.

“uh, it was personalised, i’ll have you know.”

“what was the photo?” harry asked.

“uhhhh.”

he had to scroll to find a photo of the card but he did. the cover was a photo you’d taken from the shower, your arm raised high above you to capture just from your shoulders, upwards and alfie also standing in the bathroom next to it, using the toilet but thankfully half-covered by the glass pane of it. “i–it’s basically us in the bathroom. she was taking a shower and i was taking a piss. y—you obviously can’t see anything b—”

“jesus christ.”

“and she put that up for her mum and dad to see?!”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“would you say you’re the jealous type? does your girlfriend get jealous?”

“pffftttt,” alfie spat into the mic, looking wide-eyed across at tays and ginge, “jealous? bros i got a pure psycho on my hands, i can’t lie,” he put on that stupid voice again.

“oh seriously?!” ginge sat up, intrigued.

“she not let other women breathe near you either?” tays said.

“she’s an unpredictable psycho. she likes to play a little guessing game w’me when i come home sometimes. have to figure out what mans did wrong. she let me breathe around one woman, i breathed around two, s’like shittt girl, my bad. ” the two boys laughed opposite him, getting him to laugh himself. “nah she my little demon. i like it. i like when she goes a bit crazy, feel like she might murder me. turns me on, lowkey,” again, with the weird voice. “i like a fiery ting, is she gonna kill me, is she not.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“nah i do have fun with my girl on nights out, i know some lads dread being the same place with their gal in the club ‘n that but i’m guaranteed to have more fun in her company than some of my boys like, some of my boys down 4 bottles and their knocked out like some 60-year-old dad in the corner booth. it’s like mate, allow it. my brother – we were on holiday a few months back with my family, and me and my brother said we would go on the strip like go to the club one night, got all hype about it, and then when it came to it he was like ‘nah bro, can’t be bothered.’ i turned to my mrs, said ‘d’you want to go out tonight?’ she said ‘yeah, will we get a bag on the way?’ i said ‘girl is the sky blue?’ — nah i’m jokinnn’ she didn’t say that, she didn’t say that. not that time. but you get what i mean, she meets my level.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“I’M SCARED TO BRING HER AROUND YOU LOT INCASE YOU DON’T LIKE HER!” he confessed stressfully to his youtube squad. “SHE’S REALLY BAD AT FIRST IMPRESSIONS ‘N THEN I’M GONNA HAVE TO SMACK YOU ALL WHEN YOU SAY SHE’S A SOUR-FACED BITCH!”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“you know what? i do feel bad, i feel like i’ve really exaggerated her to be this raging, controlling, psycho bitch, you lot are all gonna be like free AB but she’s really not, like, she gives me so much freewill—it’s me who brings out the psycho in her.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“i call it lemon and lime time.”

“ . . . wot.”

“come again?”

“lemon and lime time? because–no, listen, right— on boxes of tampons you get – there’s different colours. green and yellow -maybe orange, or i might be making that up- either way. she sent me out to get her some one time ‘n i was like ‘what flavour d’you want? lemon or lime?’ they must be scented or something, i dunno, and she voice note me back really laughing and said lemon, lime, whatever. found it really funny. whatever. but now it’s like a hack ‘cause you know when you ask your mrs ‘you on your period’ it’s like—”

“–aw bro, it’s like starting world war three.”

“–it’s a tricky situation.”

“–it’s a set up.”

“it is!” alfie sat up straighter, passionate about the topic, “but now i just say ‘is it lemon and lime time’ and she’ll answer without blowing my head off,” he smiled proudly, “life hack or what?”

“it’s pretty clever, actually. is that why they’re different colours then? flavoured or scented?”

“i think so,” he nodded.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“—she’s the one who came up with gimpy perm boy. i picked her up from a night out and we were sort’ve arguing beforehand, nothing serious but when i picked her up she was still in a mood, and she got in the car, rambling on to herself ‘n was all ‘yeah talk to me when you get a decent haircut, y’gimp. gimpy gimpy perm boy.’ it was the funniest thing ever, we both laughed when she said it ‘cause it was just so shit and the way she was talking to herself as if i wasn’t sat right next to her. . . and then i nicked it for my own video. SO the people who say they don’t like my gal and don’t think she’s funny - it’s her joke you all constantly comment on my vids, so suck on that,” he held up his two fingers to the camera.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“no but i have punched someone before.”

“have you?!”

“i’m not — i’m not a fighter like i don’t want to fight anyone, ever. and my girl always says to me like especially on nights out ‘just because you can, doesn’t mean you should’ - and im not that guy anyway, y/n would be fuming if i got into a fight like that’s the last thing she wants to see and i would never do anything she didn’t want me to. . i genuinely just want a nice night. maybe a kebab, go home, cuddle, that’s me. but like . . yeah. apparently i’ve got a bit of a temper when it comes to her. my mum says it all the time, like, ‘you go blind where that girl’s involved’ and i used to be like what’s she on about? blind where? i’m chill, i’m calm, i’m zen,” he shrugged cluelessly, “but then . . yeah. one night i got it.”

he shuffled comfortably on his seat. “it was late at night and we were all waiting on a taxi. can’t really remember what we were out for but just left the club, waiting to go home, getting hangry for a mcdonald’s and me and my mates were standing in the street. y/n came and met up with us so we could go home together,” he explained. “i remember i was all agitated anyway with just drunk people doing my head in, shouting and smashing things, guys looking at my girl - nothing major, s’just worse when they’re drunk, like, they’re not discreet about it, ‘n i get it: she’s a rocket. then this guy spawns in from nowhere - proper npc behaviour. already being loud, off his face, lingering round us. my mates were laughing at him, but i wasn’t. i clocked him straight away—weird vibe, ‘n he starts coming in on my girl, looks her over once and says the most - i be fuming thinking about it” he almost laughed psychotically, “says the most diabolical, gruesome shit ever like stupid little comment. i literally — i swear down — i-it—it was like one minute i was just standing there watching him . . . and then, i blinked, and i was still just standing there, except, he was on the floor and i genuinely like—” he stares into the void for a second, still baffled.

“NO!”

“HAHA! CLASS!”

“no, no, honestly lads, it’s — i don’t even remember moving – i - it could have been anyone who hit him ‘cause i genuinely didn’t move a muscle from my spot. it didn’t register. i didn’t even get this–this rush or urge to bang him, it just happened. it was y/n who like, was gripping my arm, panicked, going, ‘alfie?! what the fuck?! why’d you do that?!’ and i’m like, just as confused like why she blaming me? i’m looking at my own hand like . . wait what? what she on about? did i . . ? didn’t feel a thing. no rush, no blood boiling, nothing. it was. like my arm just acted out without telling me. i was stood there trying to remember if i actually hit him or if he just like, tripped on a crack in the pavement and karma did its ting.”

the boys were in cackles but you were laughing into yourself more so at alfie’s genuine confusion and despair as he reflected back to that night. “nooo wayyyy, bro.”

“my mates were there, they were like we couldn’t even stop you if we wanted to ‘cause it was like a twitch. like—bam. we couldn’t even clock it. and the guy’s friends came out after and were standing about and they didn’t even try anything, they were like . . yeah bro, he did have that coming but like . . . is he alive though?’ — y/n’s the one making sure the man’s breathing while i’m just hovering like an absolute muppet. and then i’m apologising to her like she’s the one i wronged which i guess i did . . .” he sighed stressfully. “swear, i felt the hangover kicking in and i just did my last shot like 10 minutes prior! stood there just thinking how’s this even happened? i was literally craving maccies two minutes ago, now i’ve apparently assaulted a man and my girlfriend’s out here playing paramedic to someone who just tried to undress her with his eyes!” he exhales like he’s just relived the whole thing. “but then . . yeah it’s chill. it’s all good. had to grovel a bit in the taxi to make sure she was still coming back to mine but,” he shrugged, “it was calm.”

“yeah, like she couldn’t be annoyed at you.”

“yeah, she wasn’t annoyed at me, she was just annoyed the way it puts her in a kind of awkward situation, like cleaning the mess up. but it was fine. i was like ‘fine, just tell me next time and i’ll stand behind you while you swing’,” he chuckled.

“class bro,” they applauded him and you rolled your eyes at the screen.

“but yeah, in–in conclusion, i have - wouldn’t say fought but . . i’ve hit a few people before. but it’s always in defence or something like that.”

“i’m so glad i’ve never had to defend my girl like that, then we’re both getting disrespected.” chip said.

“my ego couldn’t take it.”

“this is why you’ve gotta get wham, so you can defend your bird,” alfie winked at the camera. “had to back my boys up when it kicked off at a maccies though, one time after school. true story.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“i’ve learned in my time that ‘i’m fine’ really translates to ‘figure it out you stupid dickhead.’”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“—same as when you’re feelin’ yourself, y’know? maybe get a fresh trim, hit the gym real quick, clean fit — and then your girl walks in, probably in her fucking pyjamas, little tank and shorts on and it’s like . . how you gonna out-do me like that like i was feelin’ pretty leng then and you just show up and bring my rating down to a solid 4. don’t even get me started when they are all glammed up.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“yo girl, can i get your number? take you for a little spin ‘n that,” you recognised this clip as alfie vlogged from his brand new car (at the time) while passing each other on the road to both your houses. it was so weird and a little sad how you both had the same car and now his was gone and replaced with his new defender. you used to joke your audis were boyfriend and girlfriend too, his grey, yours white.

now he was just driving a military tank on the road that god forbid you left a lip liner in.

“i got a man. or actually i dunno where he’s gone. some guy in a tractor tank just pulled up thinking he’s peng,” you shielded your eyes from the sun as you looked up at him through your rolled down window.

he grinned, continuing his roadman persona. “say less. man’s here now, innit. jump in, i’ll take you nando’s, get you lemon and herb, maybe medium if you behave.”

“medium? you think i look like a medium kinda girl?”

“my bad, you’re right. you’re giving extra hot, still, might need to calm you down with a drink after.”

you leaned your head on your hand out the window, “what are you after?”

he adjusted his cap and slyly smirked, “just a man in his defender, tryna wife up a fine ting in an aldi A1.”

“aldi A1? as in . . the same thing you used to drive about like it was a range just last week?” you grinned.

he nodded, “allow it, girl, it’s a lifestyle. i can’t be seen in a basic whip anymore.”

“oh basic is it now?” you couldn’t hold back your smile at the audacity, “careful, mocking your roots. car’s gone to his head already.”

he laughed and shrugged, “yeah, well. we grow. we evolve.”

“into what? self-absorbed arseholes?”

“aight, be off then in your aldi A1, i got some rockets i need to chat up in their corsas,” he pulled his handbreak down.

“right, well, have fun in your debender,” you widened your eyes, hitting the indicator and speeding off around him before he could even finish turning his wheel all the way. you got to see how he laughed into himself over the interaction, as you remembered seeing him laugh through your rear view mirrors.

and that was when the debender joke was born.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“some girl from uni commented happy birthday legend with the little hand heart emoji and she screenshotted it, sent it to me, and just said, ‘legend, yeah?’”

“—OOOF.”

“—that’s rough.”

“that was it. i had to just let it simmer for the rest of the day. didn’t talk to me all day and when i pointed it out she’s all nonchalant like no obviously not i just been busy and i’m just like rightttt ok,” he rolled his eyes at the memory, but a smirk tugging on his lips.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“i used to be so scared of getting a girl and meeting her parents over dinner type thing ‘cause i’m such a picky eater, like my diet is a joke, but then she told me that she’s not the most adventurous eater either and basically orders chicken everywhere she goes, so’s like a match made in heaven. and she hates red sauce. soulmates.”

“you’re kidding.”

“swear. although she does love bbq which is just as bad, i can’t have that. need her to bleach her mouth before she even thinks about coming near me. moving like that.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“nah, even with my girlfriend, before she was my girlfriend, we didn’t go to our school formal together but we basically did but when i asked, it was so awkward, i was like ‘you going to formal?’ ‘yeah’ ‘you going with anyone?’ ‘no’ ‘oh nice, nice, yeah me neither’ . . . that was it.”

“fuck sake bro.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“nah she make me laugh though. we were out the other day and this girl smiled at me when i held open the door for her — just a normal smile, like, polite human — and she was like, ‘do?? do you wanna go back and hold it open a bit longer??? orrrr??’ like the dramatics do make me laugh sometimes.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“so i’ve just ran into the shop, going to make a quick stop and see trouble . . . see peng ting . . see sneaky link,” he buckled his seat belt and turned on his car, the passenger seat occupied with his recent purchases. “she’s had a pretty shitty few days, really stressed out with work and uni ‘n shit, and i’ma good boyfriend, so i’ve bought her some—some bits, what we got here? chocolate . . crisps . . her favourite drink . . an ice coffee and flowers, just to hopefully pick her up a bit. it’s not much but it’s the thought that counts guys, alright? she’ll be grateful. my shayla . . my shayla!” he swung out onto the road.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“nah, boys, my girl just text me, i haven’t replied to her in an hour, she said what position you got her in?”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“chat’s blowing up. when’s your birthday? august. what are you doing for valentines? my bird. what do you get a girl for valentines? honestly, they’re happy with the little things my guy. get the flowers. get the chocolates. book the hotel room,” he clicked and pushed buttons on his controller from his set-up in the spare room. “my girl’s thing has always been jewellery, she loves all things jewellery - it doesn’t even need to be expensive, as long as you know what she likes,” he continued, transfixed on the screen. “even in my warehouse job, i always made sure to save a little extra for those important dates for a bit of jewellery ‘cause that’s when you do splurge a little. i got her a bracelet and she never takes it off. actually, i got her two bracelets she never takes off. one little diamond piece and one you can buy different charms? that’s a shout. then you can just buy charms for different occasions. little memories. like . . i got her big ben for when we went to london for the first time even before youtube . . or a suitcase when we went on our first holiday. she’s got the letters AB for me. she’s got a dog for her dog. what else did i get her? the charm bracelet’s the best shout i reckon. they’ll love that shit.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“yeah nah, she’s mad jealous. a girl in the shop could look at me for too long and i can feel her soul leave her body. but i rate it, it’s like . . kind of a primal thing, innit? sexy. i mean i’d rather that than someone who doesn’t care, like i’d be annoyed if she was like ‘yeah, have him.’”

“you like that little bit of friction.”

“yeah, s’like behave. but if you don’t, that’s fine too.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“we left the pub one night and she wouldn’t speak to me, like proper angry, seething vibes — arms folded, walking ahead. i didn’t know if she was gonna cry or kill me. we were passing the chippy ‘n i was starving, i had to order something, she was even more annoyed ‘cause she had to wait on me - ‘cause it was so late and she couldn’t walk home on her own. i actually felt bad even though she wanted to kill me. we were both waiting ‘n i was like ‘. . . do you want chips or do you want a fight?’ like stuffing my face, it was probably so jarring.”

“it’s so unintentionally funny like i know if we were there’d we’d be making the situation worse ‘cause we’d be laughing!”

“literally! i got the fight for anyone wondering by the way,” he deadpanned.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“do you get weird when girls hit on you?”

“i feel like i’m awkward around people in general, but it depends on the girls ‘cause some can genuinely just be nice and others are straight up like — ‘so are you single or not’ and i have to be like ‘nahhh, i’m pretty locked in.’ just flip them the lock screen.”

“the lock screens always a shout. you don’t even need to say anything, just hit the button.”

“yeah, exactly. i had some girl say i had nice eyes and i was like ‘cheers,’ and even at that i feel disgusting. i’m like i hope she weren’t thinking – like was else do i say to that? thanks, i have a girlfriend, then i just sound like a massive knob when they might just be genuinely paying me a compliment for the sake of it? i freak out over stuff like that, s’just like . . don’t compliment me . . please. respectfully.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“your mrs ever laugh really loud at another bloke’s joke and then you’ve to spend the next hour being funnier to re-establish the dominance?”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“oh my god, but d’you get when it’s not even your fault?! i was coming out of the petrol station one time, we’d just left the gym and this girl calls out ‘oi sexy!’ i just put my head down, got in the car — girl’s sat there, jaw hanging open as if i was the one who called her sexy! she just goes ‘take me home’ i’m like FUCK SAKES! DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING!”

“but she expects you to go punch her in the throat.”

“literally! she’s like ‘you were suppose to ride me in front of her’ i’m like,” he pulled his most bizarre face.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“yeah, bro, when you text them first before you text the boys chat, it’s over.”

“oh it’s so over,” the boys at pitchside agreed.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“the way you talk about your girl — people think she’s got you on a leash,” bach said from his host seat. “which is fine, i know from experience,” he quickly held a hand up with comedic laugh.

alfie laughed, “yeah, nah, i do make her sound like a bit of a psycho. she’s not though. she’s just got a low tolerance for nonsense — especially if it involves other girls. which, fair enough. i’d be the same. i don’t exactly help the image either, the way i wind her up. but honestly? i rate it. i like knowing someone’s that bothered about me.”

“you’ve been with her since, what, you said 18?” arthur tv guessed.

“yeah, ‘n people always say like i’ve been locked in too young and i should be out getting with all different girls, enjoying single life with no responsibilities and all that, but like . . i don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. i am enjoying life and my relationship’s easy like i’m not miserable. if i was miserable, i wouldn’t be in it, you know? it’s jarring sometimes.”

“i like that you’re deeping it.”

“no it’s true through, people act like when you’re with someone young you’re making a sacrifice, like you’ve given something up but it’s the opposite. like, she’s literally my best mate. i know people hate hearing that but your girl should be your mate as well. we’ve got our own vibe, our own jokes, we rinse each other all the time, we’re never serious — i get to live life with one of my favourite people - it’s like when you’re with your boys and you’re like, ‘ah, imagine living together, that would be sick,’ – that’s how i feel with her like i want that, i would enjoy that. i don’t dread the thought of that.”

“so you’re not trying to be out here playing the field?” arthur smiled.

“jesus, no. trust me, no part of me wants that. i’ve got the girl, the banter, the comfort — everything. i don’t need saving, none of that free AB shit. i’m not stuck. i’m—i’m sorted.”

“he said sorted. oo, he’s in love, guys.” bach teased.

“exactly. i’m not whipped - maybe a bit - but i’m happy. big difference.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“ass or tits? boyssss, come on, it’s all in the personality,” he said from his computer chair, leaning back as he let out a sigh at their ridiculous questions. “. . . but have you seen the rack on my girl?”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“so last time i vlogged, i just put a wash on and text my mum if she was in so i can go get the dogs and bring them on a walk so at least i’m doing something in this vlog,” he spoke from his bed, not knowing what else he could do to spice up the grotto vlog. “i should probably pay a visit to my mrs, i feel like i’ve abandoned her the last couple days just ‘cause i been so busy. she’s been busy too but still, i should probably call in and see her,” he paused.

“i know, she knows that i’m not fond of askin’,” he sang next on his way to yours.

“hey,” the next clip was when the camera lens pulled out directly from your forhead as your boyfriend stood directly above you, “say something for the viewers at home, girl,” he put the roadman voice on.

you looked at the lens and then smacked your hand over it, doing (what you remembered) the most diabolical filthiest gesture that alfie flipped his camera to show his jaw almost on the floor with a heavy laugh in his chest. “DO THAT AGAIN. RIGHT NOW! GO! SHOW THE CAMERA!—”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“yeah like AB. AB and his girl.”

“i’ve actually met his girl and she’s very dead on. she’s not what he makes her out to be on cam,” joe weller told his co-hosts. “quite witty. i remember when we went to LA, we were going out one night and one of the clubs was a stripclub and he was on facetime, telling her what he was up to, and i, for some reason, brought up the stripclub and i was like ‘oh shit!’ like felt so bad - i didn’t want him thinking i was throwing him under the bus or trying to start something! - but she was just laughing ‘n was like ‘oh yeah no worries at all babe! what better things would you be doing! you go watch star and sapphire shake their arse while i do your dirty washing and clean out your wardrobe, it’s no problem! have fun! i’ll be right here when you get back!’ but like genuinely joking, it was so funny. i thought she would’ve freaked ‘cause you know, he makes her out to sound a bit mental but he turned to me and was like ‘nah, like, she mightn’t like it but she trusts me, that’s the big difference. and she knows me, she knows i’m probably gonna be mad awkward the whole time’ and to be fair . . . he was. boy’s head was in his phone or stuck to the bar, he didn’t know what to do. he really loves her, he told me a lot of their lore.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“yeah, mine neither. she’s surprisingly not that bothered by people before her - not that i had proper relationships before - but girls i’ve talked to like - she doesn’t care, but neither one of us want to talk about it anyway. i don’t fucking want to bring them up. she brings them up for a laugh when we have an argument ‘cause she knows i be mortified,” he laughed as the boys began to laugh at his confession, his face reddening. “so embarrassing.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“aw, no yeah — monaco vlog? dog house.”

“HOW?!”

“you tell me.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

chip was laughing, nursing a beer in one hand, the mic in the other, “bro, i don’t know how you do it. your girl’s intense, she’s like . . on you, all the time. proper psycho attachments. she puts me on edge.”

alfie stopped mid-laugh, still smiling, but his eyes locking in on the older boy. “alright, relax,” he shot him a look, “she’s not a psycho. she just gives a shit ‘bout what i’m up to and doesn’t know you lot well enough to know if you’ll look after me properly,” he said. “just ‘cause sabina doesn’t give a shit about what you get up to.”

freezy was laughing, cracking up at himself, “sabina sends him off to thailand hoping he doesn’t come back!”

“i rate my little psychopath, you lot don’t know how psycho i can be too,” he smirked to himself, bouncing his feet kicked up on the coffee table.

“she just acts likes she forgets who was here first, y’know . . . ” chip continued, letting out a deep sigh as if exhausted by your games.

“bro, you met me a year ago,” alfie, whether purposefully or accidentally, killed the joke he was trying to run. to your delight.

“nah bro, come on, unc was there when you were born. i know my neph like that.”

alfie just screwed his face at the camera like he didn’t know what the fuck he was on about.

you smirked, mentally pumping your fist.

chip 0 - 1 you

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“you lot overrate me, big time. if i broke up with my girl, she’d be the one playing the field. you think i can pull anyone i want? it’d be me to break up with her, ready to sleep around and get none, meanwhile she’d be doing numbers. she’d be racking up the numbers EASY. she’d have guys lined up left, right and centre. she’s had blue ticks in her DMs. it’d be light work for her.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“do you try to keep your relationship off cam?”

“i don’t want her on cam all the time, i do want to keep things private but it’s her decision like, her tiktok’s public, her other socials aren’t. she doesn’t like to be on cam most of the time. if she happens to be in the car when i’m vlogging, i don’t mind if she wants to be in or out of it, or if she wants to say her piece with just her voice or if she does want to show her full self, it’s up to her. but i do try to keep it on the down low, i like keeping her to myself.”

“i like that, man.”

“like the other day, i was dropping her into town for drinks, she was all done up, hair, makeup, sexy little dress ting on. i was vlogging and was like ‘. . d’you want in it or no?’ ‘n she was like ‘fuck yeah, i’m gorgeous today’ so,” he shrugged, smirking, “viewers got blessed that day.”

“some of the girls want her in a vid.”

“bro, she can do what she wants. i don’t think she’d mind doing a feature every now and then but she likes the privacy too. although she has said to me stop talking shit or she’s coming on the pod to out me.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“nah, me and my girl, we got a nightly routine at this point. nearly every night we do rock, paper, scissors for who has to make a nutella toastie.”

“a nutella toastie?!”

“a nutella toastie. oh my god, greatest invention ever. i mean it’s just toast so like . . nothing special but oh my god. we’ll be lying in bed and one of us will go ‘aw . . d’you know what would be so nice right now? nutella toastie.’ ‘awww, go make us some’ ‘no you go’ ‘no you. you make them better’ ‘no you’ ‘no you’ ‘rock paper scissors’ but then we usually just end up joining each other in the kitchen. it’s like midnight. both just standing in pjs, cooking up a storm.”

“bro that’s actually really cute.”

“i need to try that.”

“you should,” alf agreed, “she put me on them. s’great”

he didn’t mention how sentimental he got on the nights you didn’t stay over and he’d be laying in bed and the thought of a nutella toastie would pop in his mind, and that’s when you usually got a text message in the middle of the night:

missing my lil nutella toastie rn

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“she’s actually not that bad. like i’ve ran into fans before and she offers to take the photo and is like ‘oh my god alfie, put your arm around her!’ like she’s not fucking lethal like.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“would you ever get any tattoos?”

“no. i mean . . i’ve talked about getting a deer as a red dead redemption reference but i don’t think i’d actually ever do it. i just got this on a drunk night out in mallorca.” he held up his wrist to the camera. “was crashing out, spiralling badly ‘n went and got it.”

his boys laughed at him, “what is it?”

“you can barely see it, it’s quite faded. it’s just a tiny letter and little heart beside it. my girl’s initial.”

“eeeeshhh, nah bro.”

“no way.”

“fuck off”

“i know, i know,” he faked embarrassment and dread as he put his hand to his head. “nah i actually don’t care though, like this was the argument she had with me on facetime at the time, ‘cause i was on facetime to her telling her i was gonna get one, she was like ‘no alfie, don’t be so stupid’ was going on about obviously if we broke up and i met someone else and i was fuminggg, i was like i don’t care! if i marry another bird, they’ll have to deal with it ‘cause i’ll love you more than her! — really crashing out, really ready to prove a point, ‘n yeah, woke up with this bad boy,” he slapped the side of his wrist. “could be worse, could have got like, a fuckin’ . . dolphin on my tits or something, there’s definitely worse tattoos. i know a mate of a mate got his mum’s phone number tatted on him.”

“FUCK OFF.”

“swear down.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“aw mate my girl buys thee tiniest handbags so when we go out my pockets are basically jammed to the brim with all her shit. fucks me off so bad, the look i give her when she asks me for her lip liner shit every 10 minutes - i actually did fuck it into a lake one time ‘cause it was literally every 10 minutes she was asking for it. she was like ‘you’re lucky that was 20p from primark because if it was one of my expensive ones, you’d well be in that ocean with your snorkel and goggles on’ and i-i fully well would have been.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“bro. first time i saw you two together — swear down - i need to say this—” danny sat up properly in his chair as he got giddy. “it actually stuck with me. it was in that club, lights going crazy, flickering like mad — you know that big london one, sidemen always throw their parties in? i think that’s what it was actually, that time.”

“yeah, i know the one.”

“the one everything’s dark except them long flashes hitting every few seconds. you were in the all black fit, just sat back, man spreading the whole couch, on your own, corona in hand, rolex catching the light, you looked cleannn bro. y/n was just in front of you on the smaller stools, but like, half turned away talking to someone beside her. her arm was resting on your leg, she was still close. and the way you were just watching her was like . . bro was scary! was intense! like the vibes, man, the aura. it was sick. like, proper cinematic,” he shared excitedly.

“you didn’t have to do anything — like anyone who saw knew like they’re together. d’you know what i mean? like, i swear, it gave me goosebumps. you were so cool. it stuck with me. i was like i wish people saw me and ten like that, we just look like two dweebs. people see us and think, ‘oh bless them, they’re trying.”

tennese laughed in the background, agreeing with him wholeheartedly.

“nah, i went home and ordered youngLA after that,” danny continued, rubbing his eye.

“DID YOU!” alfie laughed.

“yeah, man. and tennese ordered the dress y/n had on. we’re so lame. you guys are so sick, you’ve no idea.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“we were at the pub and some girl asked to borrow my lighter and i gave it to her —not even a convo— and my girl just raised her brows. like i–if you saw me i was like a deer in headlights, i was like fuck, was that a test and i failed?”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“what’s the chat saying? . . . are you a lover boy?” he sat back in his gaming chair, clicking the mouse with his headset on. “i’ll be honest boys . . you lot will rinse me for this, but i was out the other night in the club, out in london, and i got a whiff of her perfume on another bird, and i–i literally had to go home. i just left and got the train home to her. three hours. was supposed to stay at chip’s place. just came home. stayed over at her place,” he shrugged. “what about it?”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“i love seeing the free AB shit, it makes me laugh. ‘bro, blink twice if you’re in danger’” chip laughed at the comment, “‘she’s probably tracking your location right now’!”

“she’s got him chipped, my man’s not been seen out past 10pm in three years,” cal chuckled.

alfie smirked, ignoring the two laughing next to him as well. “they need to chiillll. i know it’s my fault, i’ve made her out to sound like my own airtag but she’s really not. no one’s got me on a leash. i’m here ‘cause i wanna be.”

“do you ever think like . . maybe you did lock in too early? you haven’t really had that single lad freedom.”

even through video, you could see the point when alfie got his back up a little. “see, that’s what people always say, like i’m missing out and i have no freedom but i don’t feel like that at all. i’ve never once looked at the so-called ‘single life’ and thought, yeah, i want that. nah. you lot go on your little nights out trying to impress girls you don’t even like. i go home to someone who gets me, who rinses me for my dodgy haircut, knows when i’m in a mood without me saying a word, and still fancies the shit out of me when i cringe myself out.”

“damn, you’re getting deep bro.”

“its not deep, it’s just the truth. people act like i’m trapped in a relationship against my own will but it’s not that. she’s my best mate and yeah — she’s intense sometimes. so am i. it works.”

“i can’t imagine you being intense. like doesn’t she get crazy jealous when girls chat to you? ‘n when they look at you too long?”

“yeah, she does. and? that’s not a flaw, to me that’s someone who cares. i’d rather have someone who feels that protective and loving towards me than someone who gives up and lets me do whatever. it’s not a control thing. she loves hard and so do i. we’re solid bro.”

“so you’re saying you don’t need rescuing?”

“bro, i’m not in a burning building. i’m in a warm fucking house, eating toast with the love of my life. i’m good,” he laughed.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“do you mates not rinse you for you and your girl?”

“no bro, never. they—they love her, they really rate her. she takes care of the whole group. they’d back her before me. i write shit into the chat and they’re like ‘perfectly valid, i’d behave the same.’ one time i wrote in ‘going shopping with the mrs to get sorted for the lads holiday. anyone need anything?’ and none of them have girlfriends anymore ‘n three of them write back: ‘aw can we come? will y/n choose sort us out?’ four of us just trailing about town, y/n’s sorting us one by one with holiday fits, telling them she’s gonna wax their unibrows, making sure we don’t look a tit.”

“HA! i love that!”

“yeah, they rate her. like they’d tell her if i was doing something wrong or to come get me ‘n stuff. sisterly shit.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“you can tell you both don’t play about with each other.”

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

“aww, fuck guys, i forgot to end the vlog. this is me just editing. hope you enjoyed. peace n guidance. see you in the next one.” he held up the peace sign as he signed off, laying on the bed with his laptop in front of him and your arm wrapped around his neck, your pointy acrylics massaging his scalp and playing with his hair, just how he liked every day to end.

▶︎‖ ─•──── 10:55

[marnietv]

i'm seriously going feral for this man someone send help please☺️

[marnietv]

okay so this is so true

16 likes on tiktok is embarrassing but 16 likes on tumblr is like winning a grammy

[marnietv]

BF HEADCANNONS ❥ ARTHUR HILL!

warnings: none? sorry if there is any!!

contents: a few headcannons about this majestic man as theres literally nothing on here about him and that makes me want to cry.

disclaimer: this is my first time writing headcannons as i'm very much a wattpad long story kinda gal so this is my attempt.

VERY SHORT!!

boyfriend!arthur...SO CUTIEPIE OH MY DAYS.

boyfriend!arthur...will just randomly start singing at any given moment.

boyfriend!arthur...spends his time writing songs about you.

boyfriend!arthur...somehow convinced you to move in with him, chris and george.

boyfriend!arthur...you're best friends with his twin sister, charlotte.

boyfriend!arthur...lisa knows EVERYTHING about you, you're literal best friend.

boyfriend!arthur...he would much rather make out for hours then actually have sex. (very much confirmed on the mummys boy podcast)

boyfriend!arthur...takes you on dates ALL the time, no matter where you are.

boyfriend!arthur...he's either overally affectionate in public or just avoids it, depends what mood he's in or who he's with, but at home it's a different story...

boyfriend!arthur...ALWAYS has you in videos, since the beggining of his youtube career you've never not been in a video.

boyfriend!arthur...

[marnietv]

love love LOVE this so much

MRS. TV

pairing: arthurtv x fem!reader

summary: what your social media would look like if you were dating arthurtv

warnings/contents: sexual innuendos and jokes

author's note: powered through this one and feel like a beast 💪💪 also may be getting into my AB phase so watch out???

yourusername

liked by arthurtv, bambinobecky, and 23,083 others

yourusername when the pillow talk consists of random facts

view all 71 comments

arthurtv what a way to out me like that

↳ yourusername everyone knew, you’ve literally mentioned it on the podcast 😐

user1 that damn smirk

user2 i know that couch is good to nap on ‼️

bambinobecky that should be me 😕😔

↳ yourusername it really should xx

user3 give that man a wax

user4 couple goals ❤️

user5 are they interesting at least?

↳ yourusername very, got to learn about the great molasses flood of 1919

theburntchip when is it my turnnnn 😫

yourusername

liked by user2, arthurtv, and 60,748 others

yourusername this week recently xx going shopping, hanging out at the bach and arthur set and then having my phone stolen by a loser, and lunch with my best girl 😚

view all 91 comments

bambinobecky i know the comments are saying bach is bringing everyone but i have to disagree

↳ yourusername i’d only come for you 😏😏

↳ arthurtv absolute rubbish

user1 is that the thrift i see 🤨

↳ yourusername been thrifting since i was born mate

user2 isaac has to be goofy around and stealing everyone’s phones in his free time

↳ yourusername hide your phones around him, he’s a gremlin 🧌 poor liv has to live with him

↳ livvydimartino thoughts and prayers please guys 🙏

arthurtv leng

↳ yourusername always a gentleman

user3 your hair in the first pic ate

user4 dream blunt rotation y/n and becky

yourusername

liked by arthurtv, user3, and 30,476 others

yourusername sunburns & seashells with you 🐚☀️

view all 82 comments

arthurtv you made it look like both those glasses are mine 🙄

↳ yourusername that cause they were, you finished mine without asking me 😐

↳ livvydimartino what a gentleman. i would treat you better

↳ yourusername i know you would babe but i’m stuck 😭

↳ arthurtv italianbach come get your girlfriend

user1 not the boyfriends and girlfriends fighting

user2 good lord they’re so hot

italianbach slay queen 👸

user3 you better have kept those seashells 🐚🐚

↳ yourusername snuck them in my bra babe 😘

bambinobecky teach me your tanning ways queen 🙏

user4 where did you go?

arthurtv added to their story!

yourusername

liked by arthurtv, livvydimartino, 24,679 others

yourusername our version of date night 🍸🥢

view all 76 comments

user1 oh i KNOW you and arthur go hard at sudoku

↳ yourusername we’re too competitive 😔

↳ livvydimartino if you want to win pub quizzes, bring them

arthurtv gordon ramsey is calling me 📞

↳ italianbach to tell you to not cook ever again

user2 do you know piano as well?

↳ yourusername he’s (attempting to) teaching me

user3 cuties ❤️

user4 should have a double date with chippo and sabina

livvydimartino too cute ✨

yourusername

liked by arthurtv, user1, 25,354 others

yourusername back to jersey !!!! always wonderful visiting the TV family and hanging out with flora and posie ❤️ fun was had, sleepovers were reoccurring, and was soo sad to leave 😭

view all 73 comments

user1 so adorable

arthurtv mum keeps messaging me saying the girls want to facetime you

↳ yourusername name a time and place and i’ll be there

user2 outfits always slay

bambinobecky this makes me want to have kids with you 👧

↳ yourusername baby…. don’t tease like that 😝

user3 i love how close they are with each others families ❤️

user4 what my dream looks like 5 seconds before my alarm goes off:

[marnietv]

so real

AB listening to fade into you is the most attractive thing ever

[marnietv]

When y/n does something so cringe that i have to look at the invisible camera for a sec.

[marnietv]

REAL

me staring at my ceiling after y/n does the most FLABBERGASTING thing ever

[marnietv]

ugh i love this

BF HEADCANONS // ALFIE BUTTLE!

minors do not interact

boyfriend!alfie… who definitely isn’t afraid to show you off, being like;

“yeah i pulled her, and what?”

boyfriend!alfie… who will find any excuse to bring you up in a conversation with his friends, or when he’s streaming. if it’s around his friends he’d be called a simp, but he’d accept it (cause it’s true)

boyfriend!alfie… isn’t a fan of pda, hand on your back at most, but when it’s just the two of you he’d be all over you.

boyfriend!alfie… who knows just how obsessed you are with his biceps & back, so he’ll snap you after a gym session.

“for you, as per👀”

boyfriend!alfie… he lives for showing his love by bullying you but also knowing there’s a boundary, and if he crosses it he’s getting a right slap x

boyfriend!alfie… who’s a sucker for getting his hair played with, but would never admit it out loud.

boyfriend!alfie… he’ll literally comment on every edit of you that shows up on his for you page, cause quite frankly he’s obsessed.

“yeah that’s my mrs” “she’s so leng” “gorgeous girl”

boyfriend!alfie… will threaten anyone who’s remotely negative to or toward you. doesn’t stand for it, especially not from his ‘fans’.

“right fuck off if you’re gonna be like that, won’t be tolerated here mate”

boyfriend!alfie… is your biggest supporter, will be your biggest fan in anything you decide to do and always backs you.

NSFW!

boyfriend!alfie… who’s obsessed with your thighsssss. always kisses them to get you going, and leaving hickeys there so that only he can see them.

boyfriend!alfie… he’s a munch idc.

boyfriend!alfie… absolutely love giving praise!!!!

“you’re doing so good for me” “feels so good”

boyfriend!alfie… as much as he LOVES when you’re on top, i think he’d love to see you fall apart under him more.

boyfriend!alfie… absolutely loves when you pull his hair and would ask you to do it again and again.

boyfriend!alfie… who’s not the biggest talker in the bedroom but when he’s vocal he’s VOCAL.

boyfriend!alfie… his hands would be everywhere on you!!!!!!

DURING IN ARGUMENT!

boyfriend!alfie… he doesn’t have the most patience so there would be some times where he’d raise his voice regretfully, but would feel bad by the look on your face and apologises straight away.

boyfriend!alfie… would be the first one to apologise after an argument.

boyfriend!alfie… yes he’d lose his patience but wouldn’t take it out on you, like he’d never say anything bad TO you.

boyfriend!alfie… who knows how much you appreciate communication so he’ll try his best to listen to everything you have to say but would also make sure to express his feelings and you’d work it out together.

boyfriend!alfie… needs and gives constant reassurance after an argument.

“are you sure you’re okay?” “we good?” “i’m so sorry darling” “i promise you i’m here to listen” “i love you”

clarkeyscherry🍒

[marnietv]

GUYS I HAVE A NEW ARTHUR HILL HEADCANNONS FIC COMING OUT PROBABLY SOMEWHEN TMRW‼️