marslikethefruit

[marslikethefruit]

one line that i always wanted to say is

"a little water never hurt anyone. besides, people always tell me i'm dripping with good looks."

[marslikethefruit]

im so jealous of tall people.

[marslikethefruit]

daye everything oc name idea: colby jacque, snooty cheese conosseiur

[marslikethefruit]

I AM SO MADLY JEALOUS OF MY BOYFRIEND BRO UGHHHHH 😭😭

HES STRONG. ATHLETIC. TALL (5'11 and still growing????). BEAUTIFUL HAIR BEAUTIFUL FACE. beautiful everything omfggggg

and look at me bro 😭😭 im a fat (mid-size technically but hey i dont work out at all and i cannot motivate myself to so i might be in the future) fuck that cant even tell whether or not hes pretty 💔 like bro i dont appear good on camera. only sometimes. like at the right angles. im also short as all hell 😔

but my crush on my boyfriend aside his family is supportive of him too 😭 his eldest sister is getting married to a lady, his eldest brother has a husband, dbksbdosbfisbdje I WANT A SUPPORTIVE FAMILY SO BAD 😭

my family is homophobic 💔

even my mom. who's dating a woman. doesn't like to hear me mention the lgbtq community. and i feel like thats derived from internal homophobia or something.

im scared to come out to her as trans one day tbh. she says she 'doesn't understand trans people' but that's just a mask for her not supporting them, cuz she dislikes/doesn't support anything she doesn't understand. mannnn..

[marslikethefruit]

witch hotpot but the pot is a cauldron

[marslikethefruit]

wait huh?

how’s everyone doin tonight i just broke tumblr

[marslikethefruit]

oh btw im changing my middle name from Colby Jack to Resilience.

[marslikethefruit]

peekaboo tiger print hair. what do we think dudes. cool right???

[marslikethefruit]

being labelled kinda sorta maybe stresses me out. i dont know if im genderqueer or nonbinary or transmasc or transgender, and i dont know if im pan or bi or just queer.

i dont like how nonbinary folksre expected to be androgynous or else they're pushed into the binary boxes, and i think i'm outside the gender binary but i don't want to be fully androgynous. (i wanna be androgynous but masc-leaning. more masc than androgynous. actually no screw it i wanna be an alternative guy with a little bit of androgyny-- i dont think im nonbinary, but i wouldnt be opposed to being called it) (i think i'm genderqueer?)

i'm okay with being called he/him and being called a guy, but i'm not okay with being expected of all these things because i'm in the male binary box.

i wouldn't mind being called pan or bi or omni. all're correct, actually. if my definitions are right.

i like who i like, i don't like who i don't like. call me whatever you want, i'm fine with any of those.

(i usually go by bisexual, but pansexual is more the fit. however i've heard of some bi/pan discourse going around over the definition of the two sexualities and the differences between the two and i'm unsure, looking at the differentiations and all the various definitions.. it overwhelms me, and i'm starting to doubt the definition of omnisexual too.)

gonna go by transmasc genderqueer or unlabelled for now

(might switch between the two, see how it feels. transmasc genderqueer describes it with the best words in my vocabulary due to how broad a definition genderqueer has, but unlabelled feels sort of freeing that i'm not expected to be any sort of thing or put into any sort of box cuz there is no box to be put into when you don't have a label.)

(looking at what i've just typed, i think i might go by unlabeled.)

in terms of sexuality.. maybe unlabeled on that too.

wooo thanks for letting me yap everypony i needed that out of my system glad i got that covered

[marslikethefruit]

i know for a fact my friend sees me as a trans guy rather than just a guy, and man that lowk hurts

[marslikethefruit]

chef girlardee

[marslikethefruit]

sup peoples i ate 3 day-old chicken mcnuggets + a cosmic brownie (the little debbies one, it's js a normal brownie with sprinkles called a cosmic brownie)

now im preparing to eat 6 mini bagels (think bagels but half that size)

[marslikethefruit]

teapot is such a cute word

[marslikethefruit]

"if there is an afterlife, then ill see everyone after death. and if there isnt, ill join them in death. i'll be with them, either way."

[marslikethefruit]

tonight i had this dream where i lost this tooth that prevented me from saying 'ss' so i said it like 'thh' for some reason

[marslikethefruit]

dude i hate how my mom just gives me random details WHILE the event is going on rather than just telling me the entire thing beforehand

its small but it really ticks me off.

like, i WAS told the family with the two moms wojld be sleeping over beforehand but i wasnt told tito fernand and tita maan would be sleeping over. (they did end up sleeping over and i had to sleep on the floor which mildly ticks me off. im not that angry yk but im mildly irritated.)

and then, it was supposed to be my middle school graduation party today but apparently we were celebrating nathan's pre-k graduation as well? (nathan is 5 i think.. hes my cousin)

and yeah this is all really small and such a non-issue and i am just complaining for no reason but i just need to get this out of my system so that it doesnt snowball into me throwing myself off a cliff so yeah

[marslikethefruit]

one thing i really hate about elijah is that he says his love language is being mean but whenever im mean to him he always takes it personally as an attack and insult to his character + him as a person. steaming bejesus, bro.