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FIRE MUSCHIETTI

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Allow me to say this Batman news is a mess. I don't think the announcement of the film delays today caused too much of a shitstorm but to me, a huge Batman fan, alarm bells are going off in my head.

Something is going down behind the scenes over there at DC, and I would like to know what it is before Superman rolls around. If I'm supposed to be getting hyped for another new universe, you can't have BATMAN hanging around in limbo.

My wish for a movie Batman is basically BTAS but make it a movie. A movie/series that's unafraid to show Robin, Batgirl, and the Batfamily, but also the rogues in all of their colorful glory as well. I want to see the green suit of the Riddler, or Mr. Freeze shooting ice blasts. I want to see Batman punching on Clayface. And I want it with a dark tone.

To me, that's what Batman is at his best. It's a universe where camp is in its DNA, but told straight with a gothic/noirish tone is perfect. Yes, his name is Edward Nygma. He leaves riddles everywhere for Batman to solve and he's a threat.

This is the last tone that live-action Movie Batman has yet to explore. We've done Campy Realistic (Burton), Campy Fantasy (Schumacher), Grounded Realistic (Nolan), and now we're doing Grounded Realistic (Reeves) again. What I'd like is somewhere near Grounded Fantasy. Where's that Batman take at.

As such, The Batman doesn't really do anything for me. And I rewatched it today. The best part of the movie is its distinct setting, style, and tone. It doesn't benefit from being "realistic". Nothing would be taken away from its story if I knew that, say, Man-Bat could be flying around town tomorrow.

And there are even elements in the movie that are fantastical, like the all seeing contact lens or Batman's full body parachute. The Riddler, as a character himself, is easily one of the weakest parts of the movie for me and part of that is because his characterization is so...boring and bland and not The Riddler. The movie would be better if they leaned into his comic persona, rather than the zodiac killer take we got.

It is a perfectly GOOD Batman movie. But if we're gonna shy away from all that Batman can be, I personally don't need two more movies of that. Especially if they're gonna be spaced 15 years apart /s

Bringing all of that back to today's news, I do believe that after the success of The Penguin, Gunn or somebody(s) else at Warner management want this Batman to be incorporated into the DCU. And that makes sense. I think it's a bad idea to have two concurrent Batman takes. The Batman was not a HUGE success. It was a relatively modest success. I would not assume, especially after BvS, that the character will print money no matter what.

But Gunn also understands that a proper DCU Batman can't be "realistic" all the time. For example, Robin is necessary because the Titans are necessary. He also wants the Grounded Fantasy Batman, and he knows that Reeves doesn't want that (as far as I know). I think that impasse is why we are here, with The Batman taking forever for a 1st draft and Brave and the Bold in limbo.

I'm going to say it's on Gunn (and Safran) to figure this out. They're in charge, this is their new universe, they know how important this character and his success is, and they know what tone they're going for. How do you reconcile that with Reeves? I'm unsure, but they need to make a call and stick to it. No DC universe should go too long without a proper Batman. I know that's annoying to hear for people who aren't that high on the character. But c'mon, let's be serious.

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With the Lanterns casting, Hal fans are mad because he's a total geezer. [Real] John fans are mad because the casting is colorist plain as day. Guy fans are mad because are we sure this was the best option to play Guy Gardner? And Kyle fans are mad because their fave is in a fridge somewhere for all we know.

In my opinion not using Green Lantern was a sin of the Snyderverse. The new DCU has a perfect way to set itself apart from the DC films of yesteryear, by establishing a solid Green Lantern corner of the universe. Theoretically they'd just follow along with Johns' run, and done properly that could be some top shelf superhero cinema.

But it seems they're being really shy with GL, at least for their first outing. One of the only things we know about Lanterns is that it's intentionally Earth-based and that's veeery interesting to me. I don't want to see a GL that's scared to go all out with...well, being Green Lantern. If we're finally past the trauma of the movie from over a decade ago, then the DCU should fully embrace the lore and trust their storytelling. LEAN INTO IT.

So yea, they're really gonna have to sell it with the story because off rip nobody is completely happy with how this is going down. With each announcement, more GL fans get pissed. At the very least, more and more say "well we'll see what happens." Gone is the idea of two comic accurate GL's interacting, with the universe enjoying either as needed.

Not saying this will be another Lantern disaster but I am saying there was probably a better way of handling this corner of the universe, and if it is a disaster we can point to [gestures wildly at everything we know so far]

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Just wanted to add my 2 cents but: fuck the mohawk.

Fuck that mohawk fuck that mohawk please dear God don't make me have to look at another variant of the fucking mohawk in live action. I've had it.

It's like people say we need a new look for Storm and go straight to the fucking mohawk. I don't get it. The most beautiful and unique thing about black hair is how versatile it is. Yet choice 2 is always the fucking mohawk. WHY?

"Oh her punk era FORTY years ago." Fuck that they never give the rest of the punk outfit they just keep the fucking mohawk.

I'll even go so far as to say that since the mohawk/punk look was a physical manifestation of the *character* development Storm was going through, if any adaptation from here on puts the mohawk on her head from the jump they are doing a disservice to the character.

They'd like to see the mohawk because that's "cool" but don't care to explore Storm enough as a character to see why she would want that dreadful haircut in the first place. Am I correct, X-Men '97? FUCK THE MOHAWK.

I'm looking the MCU directly in the eyes. Their effort at X-Men MUST, unlike just about any on-screen portrayal of X-Men previously, portray Storm as the complex character she is. As a PEER to her friends with her own character development and emotions. As a LEADER, and as more than the lady who shouts at the wind oh and also she gets a Shadow King subplot once and that's about it.

The gotdamn mohawk in a vacuum is an affront to that idea, just distilling the aesthetic out instead of the character. Here we go again don't piss me off.

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With Jag finally figuring out the power structure and Jared two seconds away from exposing their secret, Cirie's midgame is looking pretty dangerous. I think how dangerous really comes down to who leaves next week. America, great. Red or Cameron, good. Meme or Bowie, yea no steamroll.

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So uhhh did anyone watch that last jamie johnson season 😬

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Aht aht I might be shaking the table, people may get mad at me but my opinion is only worth 2 cents.

A lot of people have MCU fatigue right now and yet there’s really not a big consensus on why. Different people like different shows or movies from Phase 4 (and Phase 5), they really don’t care for others and I’ve never seen opinions on these movies so all over the board. Nobody can agree on which properties are suffering from The Problem, but everybody agrees there IS a problem.

EYE personally think that what we are seeing is the audience coming to the conclusion that they did over 40 years ago: these are not the characters I’d rather be seeing on my screen right now. 

I think it’s time to bring in the A-Listers and remind the audience why they loved Marvel in the first place. Y’know, like the Fantastic Four or DOOM or a fully realized Spidey corner of the universe (sigh) or the literal goddamn X-Men.

You’ll just have to forgive me if I’m not racing to the theater for, *checks notes*, The Eternals or Ant-Man 3. And the slate’s getting worse in the future. Fan favorites like Echo and Agatha Harkness and Wonder-Man are getting their own series!

I’m sorry I know I sound silly but you can’t make me interested in an Agatha show. You can’t make me! We have lost the plot.

The A-Listers I mentioned should be more than featured, they should be *anchoring* this universe and everybody else should be fighting for the rest of my attention. That’s my opinion!

Now, the other big problem in my opinion is this shitty writing. Mr. Feige needs to hire some writers who know how to write a competent piece of work quickly. BUT, even the most tightly written Agatha show you could think of is still, at the end of the day, an Agatha Harkness show. 

This ain’t comic book world. We have finite time. Half of the “Young” Avengers I’ve seen look distinctly in their 20′s lmao. There’s only so many slots in the year. Fill too many of those and we’re getting tired. Everybody can’t get a show!

So what I think this universe needs, in addition to better writing, is FOCUS.

(I have similar thoughts on the new DC slate so we’ll see how that goes)

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Absolutely no way a new season of Young Royals came out right like y’all lying

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Okay Imma be real I don’t like all these slow-mo shots I’m seeing in the Black Panther trailers. Like who told you to do that 😭

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That trailer just didn’t look interesting at all. They can literally send us who Victor chooses in an email and I’d be good. And honestly if I were one of the suitors that classic Victor wishy-washiness would turn me off regardless, like fuck you I graduate in a year or whatever it is. Anyways see y’all in June.

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I thought it was cute. One thing Alice can say that a lot of authors can’t is that the adaptation was in her vision so good for her. Also I know their aesthetic is familiar but that guy even looks like Luke Mullen. Like if you told me they had the same daddy I’d believe you.

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JATP? Didn’t really phase me, I thought it wrapped nicely in one season. DOAFP? Hurt like a bitch, ngl, but we move on.

BUT I DRAW THE LINE AT THE BABYSITTERS CLUB. BASTARDS.

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Ms. Marvel looks mid and that’s me being nice. It doesn’t FEEL like Kamala to me, yet. They done fucked that girl’s origins like 80 different ways and we’re just supposed to roll with it. oookkkk

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We’ve always known that Disney’s new gay “representation” was just another tool of capitalism, and when it came down to it they wouldn’t really care but but but but you know what’d be “good” PR right now. Greenlighting that DOAFP S3.

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Heartstopper is so fucking good the teaser wasn’t much but I trust Alice

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Even ALEXANDRA SHIPP has seen the light!

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Is this tag a thing? Yall tuning into this tragedy?