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One (1) thing about me is that i actually have strong preference for chubby people as partner and find their look more attractive (even sexually appealing) in general. So why couldnt i just fucking love myself? Why is it so hard to look in the mirror and not be revulsed by what im seeing? I especially hate my fucking round face
#⭐ve#⭐️rving#thinspø#thin$po#light as a feather#tw ana bløg#tw ed ana#tw ana rant#currently ⭐ving :(#my hair has been falling out like craaaazyyy and im still at 45-46kg#its so hard to stay focused academically😞
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Anne Michaels, from her novel titled "Fugitive Pieces," originally published in 1996
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Him not replying to me is gonna be the last nail in the coffin i am never going back
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real
Oh. so he was just one of the many people who got stuck with me.
#just found out he lied to me!😊#about being within the city just busy w something when i asked him out#turns out he wasnt busy the entire day and went home to his hometown#confirmed!😊😊 he sees me as a creep that deserves no true answer to😊🔫#feeling shit + getting distracted when im supposed to be studying#i want to vomit#i want to cry#i want to kms#im such a clown
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Oh. so he was just one of the many people who got stuck with me.
#he was just being nice. he does not care about me#just like everyone else#he says its okay to bother him. but its not an invitation to and i should learn to read the room more#i think the one he likes was in the same group with us. how could i not notice earlier? he was all over her#i want to vomit#but i love you so much still#diary
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Craving so far :
Tofu (the other week)
Nori (just earlier)
Tomato with a bit of soy and vinegar (just earlier)
Grilled fish (currently)
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Me when left by myself
#itinerary#dissociative identity disorder#borderline personality disorder#bpd#traumacore#self h@rm#@tw edd#⭐ve#⭐️rving#thinspø#light as a feather
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Honestly i dont deprive myself of food, i just keep in mind that i need eat like waaaaaaaay less carb then go for fibers and proteins. Sometimes i skip carbs altogether if i eat a lotta fiber. I actually also do eat pizza and other "scary"(no nutrient facts), fattening foods like pizza (as long as its a single slice i dedicate as a brunch) or like almost an entire meal (but i only do when i eat out w my friends, and honestly it beats the @n@ allegations so its a winwin) as long as i stop once i feel full(but also drink a lotta water beforehand, also to feel full faster youll need to wear tight high rise pants that restricts ur abdomen and train yourself to fast and eat tiny amounts to make ur actual stomach not get used to being stretched so much so this may not work for m!@ girlies.).. and if that meal got huge cals i simply do not eat for the rrst of the day and just have a jog later
#⭐ve#⭐️rving#⭐️vation goals#i tried writing this thinking im gonna sound well adjusted and sane but i sound just like a girl w a fuckibg ed#thinspø#thin$po#tw thinspi#tw ana bløg#please dont report me im just a girl#i got inspired to write this cuz i lost 5kg this month^_^#also i wanna emphasize thr need to eat protein and a bit of exercise cuz ur gonna wanna burn ur fats before u lose muscle#human bodies tend to lose muscle first before fat for some reason
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Asked Yes or No Tarot if "will i be ok?" and this is the card i fucking pull🗿🗿🗿
#was wat i did BAD?😭😭😭#all i did was ask my crush out#guys am i evil for that🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿#also. everyone will fucking know i asked him out secretly???????? i dont deserve this
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i know it's over and it never really began but in my heart it was so real
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#me confessing lmao#then weeks later attempted to invite em in a concert#ofc i was declined#its so over fr#it hasnt even started yet
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Me: *gets isolated for a day*
Me: *creates the worst version of the all people i know in my head*
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