mediocreincorrectquotes - Tumblr blog

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ramona: this is my boyfriend scott

ramona: and scott's boyfriend wallace

ramona: and wallace's boyfriend mobile

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young neil: nintendo ds makes me forget that i don't have any friends :)

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runaway, about to call the police about johnny "mysteriously" going missing: this is what us among us fans call a self report

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jet star: zone five mutuals what is there to do that’s cheap and not alcohol based?

volume: bongs at hyperthrust

tommy chow mein: there’s a bloke at the electric motel who will suck your dick for 450 carbons hell even play with your balls for an extra quid

jet star: I have 0 desire to meet you let alone give you money

tommy chow mein: 350?

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draculaura: well, i've always been a vegan.

kieran, pulling out a gun: i haven't.

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kobra kid: oh magic 8 ball, will my sight ever get better?

the coconut he's holding:

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well one or the other man jesus christ

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cherri cola: you have abs???? i imagined you would have a frail ass wizard build

fun ghoul: i'm built like if hot topic sold scarecrows you could fuck. i'm built like a washed up pop punk lead singer. i'm built like delinquent-coded female best friend from an early 2000s comedy. i'm built like rapid onset twink necrosis.

kobra kid:

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horseshoe crab: well, this couldn't possibly get any weirder.

mr. sandman: i am under the firm belief that it always can! please welcome THE MYSTERY CONTESTANT!

[the curtains pull back to reveal dr. benzedrine, holding a decapitated baby doll]

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party poison: descartes is a fool and a wretched liar, because here i am, refusing to think, and yet i continue to am.

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donnie: this should be illegal!

benzedrine: it is.

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poison: the short shorts and crop top keep my body cool and aerated with maximum freedom of movement while i stay inside day drinking and playing video games all day

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noodle: i was thinking about getting, uh- fuck, i can't remember the word in english. sushi.

murdoc:

murdoc: yeah, sushi.

noodle, face in hands: I FORGOT THAT WAS THE ENGLISH WORD TOO

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virgil: that does it, the votes are in, the oscar for absolute insanity goes to us. everyone go home. we rule the lunatic world.

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tommy chow mein: if i ever get kidnapped i'll just annoy them until they let me go

cherri cola: if i ever got kidnapped i'd develop stockholm syndrome within the hour.

dr death defying: i am begging you to say something normal for once

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mischa: Girls Come Here

mischa: I Can Treat You Right I Have 700 Neo Point

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karma: w-

lady luck, walking into the snow in a swimsuit with a cocktail: i do not care. do not call me, do not text me, i am in margaritaville.