medstudydiary

[medstudydiary]

I trust in my efforts. I do not need to push myself beyond my limits to prove my worth. I know that learning is a journey, and I am allowed to feel tired sometimes. Feeling drained does not mean I am failing it means I am human. I remind myself that my past semester energy was incredible, but I do not need to replicate it to succeed. I am still that same strong, capable, and dedicated student.

I refuse to let comparison steal my peace. I am not in a race with anyone. My success is not defined by how fast I finish something or how loudly I speak about my achievements. I study for myself, not for validation. I do not rush through my learning just to impress others I take my time, understand deeply, and grow at my own pace.

As exams approach, I choose to study with focus and balance. I make time for rest, knowing that a well-rested mind is a powerful mind. I trust that I have retained the knowledge I need, and I release the fear of "not doing enough." I am prepared. I am strong. I will face my exams with confidence and grace, knowing that my success is already within me. I believe in myself, and that is enough.

[medstudydiary]

I failed my exam

26/2/2025

I went to my pathology exam knowing that the possibility of failing would be high. I didn’t have expectations.

And I’m actually proud I still went. It’s the first time I’ve failed an oral exam. I usually don’t go and just try exams, I go prepared, but this time I wanted to go anyway because only two things could have happened. I could either pass the exam or win the fear of failing an oral exam. I only had to gain.

I was weirdly excited when I failed, as if a weigh came off my chest, the weigh of never failing an oral exam. Then after an hour I cried for like three minutes because I felt like a failure, but that was just my hurt ego, which I’m trying to let go of.

I don’t think it’s necessary to go and try exams when you’re not at least 80% ready, I just did it to overcome a fear I have.

I wanted to share this with you guys because I think it’s important to realise that other people have flaws too and as long as we get back up and try again, everything is going to be all right💓

[medstudydiary]

a guide to passive academia

read slowly. page by page, paragraph by paragraph. don’t rush your books—let the content settle properly.

listen to lectures while doing other things—getting ready, cooking, on the subway. passive learning makes revision so much easier.

study in environments that feel comfortable—a quiet library, cosy at home, or a nice café with good coffee.

annotate with intention. a single well-placed note is more effective than cluttered, wordy sentences, especially in academic reading.

don’t stop a good study session. if it flows, lean into it. let yourself stay in the moment.

read outside of school. don’t limit yourself to your studies—if something interests you, explore it further.

constant revision. got a minute? glance at your notes. familiarity deepens understanding effortlessly.

candles for late-night study sessions. candlelight can be easier on the eyes than harsh artificial lighting, especially compared to screens or fluorescent lights.

spend time in museums. become familiar with artists and exhibitions, read the little signs, and write down interesting observations.

read philosophy, but don’t rush to have an opinion. let the questions linger, explore different perspectives, and give yourself time to see where you stand.

keep a brain dump notebook. always in your bag, ready for any passing thought. don’t worry about making it pretty—just write it down and return to it later.

find friends who care about academia. discussing what you’re learning makes it feel like conversation, not study.

my insta: @ malusokay

[medstudydiary]

Study vlog

23/2/2025

Guys I’m panicking lmaoooo

I’m so behind with the material, I just have so much anxiety that it has been paralysing me for weeks. What I’ve studied I’ve studied very well, but I just can’t seem to concentrate as much as I should so I’m really behind with the work.

Therefore I’ve decided to only study certain things and rely on hope lol

I’m exhausted, thank god I’ve started going to therapy again.

[medstudydiary]

Study vlog

13/2/2025

At the end I didn’t go to that exam because I wasn’t ready and I didn’t want to waste time on that exam (since it would’ve been a waste 45%) or humiliating myself just to get over the fear of failure.

I can get over that fear in other ways that don’t require hurting myself.

I’m currently preparing pathology. I really like it, but it’s not explained really well so I’m using different sources. Let’s hope it’ll go well🍀🌷

[medstudydiary]

Study vlog

5/2/2025

Hello everyone, long time no see ;)

How are y’all doing?

I’m currently fighting my anxiety lol. I’ve been preparing a huge test in five months and I’m not ready. I’d need another couple of weeks to be ready, but I don’t have them.

But I’m pretty sure I’ll go to the test anyway. I don’t even hope to pass it, but I’ve studied a lot the whole semester so my conscience is clear, and I need to surpass this fear of failing.

If I don’t pass it I’ll have to try it in 4 months, but I’d only have to revise until then since I’ve studied so much until now so I’d probably even get a good grade. I do have a lot of stuff the next semester, but that’s okay.

I spent the semester being a good student. I went to class, took notes, studied time to time. I even took a test about another subject and got a high grade. I’ve been taking care of myself mentally and physically as well as I could, balancing pleasure and duty.

I did go back to therapy last month because I still I don’t manage stress in the best way and it’s exhausting, but I’m trying my best. I’m extremely thankful to the people in my life that put up with me and support me with so much love.

This semester preparing this exam I’ve realised that I need to focus more on revising and to invest in creating mind maps because I have such a good visual memory and I haven’t taken advantage of it because I felt like I didn’t have enough time. But now that I’m revising (again) I realise that it would’ve been a good investment, even necessary.

Everyone tells you what to do and what not to do, but at the end of the day we all have our advantages and weaknesses and we’re all different from each other. We have to know ourselves and do the most of it.

I’ve also accepted (or at least I’m trying to) that my best doesn’t look the same every day and my heart is (almost) at peace knowing that every day I did what I could.

I need to stop comparing myself to the idealised version of myself who can do it all and I’m trying to deal with myself with more love and compassion, goals but not expectations, responsibility and honesty, but without treating myself badly.

Will keep you posted, sending love to all of you🌸

[medstudydiary]

[medstudydiary]

𝔯𝔞𝔦𝔫𝔶 𝔴𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔰𝔱𝔲𝔡𝔶

[medstudydiary]

I want to live the academia aesthetic experience so bad

[medstudydiary]

don't tell people your plans, show them your results.

[medstudydiary]

Took me until about halfway through college before I realized “study” means “play with the material in a variety of ways until you understand it” and not just “read the assigned chapters and do the homework” and I think that probably should have been discussed at some point prior to that.

[medstudydiary]

I'm a sucker for handwritten notes. Give me the option and I'll always write them by hand. I love scrawling words and using odd pens and filling the margins with afterthoughts and extra details. There's a certain magic to pen and paper that a tablet or laptop can just never match.

[medstudydiary]

this awareness gives me peace

[medstudydiary]

a reminder that fills me with gratitude

[medstudydiary]

Study until you’re excited for the exam.

[medstudydiary]

Study vlog

18/9/2024

Second day of third year!

I’ve been taking notes to pay attention while sitting in the front and relying on pen and paper and I’m actually concentrating a lot. I’ve been paying attention and I’m very happy about being back to class!

I’m basically going back to high school study habits and it’s paying off for now.

I have to work on a couple projects today but I want to sleep ‘cause I’m tired and I still have a couple more days to actually finish these things.

I would like to study with others more, but I don’t really feel connected to my classmates. There are people whose company I enjoy, but after class I kinda need to be on my own for at least an hour so it’s not that easy to study with others after class because I usually go back home for lunch. Let’s see how it’ll go.

How are you? Did you get back to school?🌸

[medstudydiary]

Study vlog

11/9/2024

Took a break from tumblr for a month, I needed to stop thinking about studying for a while. This august was the first month of vacation I’ve had in three years. I moved two exams to January and I’m fine with it, I miraculously do not feel guilty about it lmao. I really needed to recharge.

And now I’m excited for the new year. I have new goals for this year and I’m excited to challenge myself to stick to my commitments.

To me September is like New Year’s Eve because that’s when a lot of things start, and the switch from summer to autumn has always felt symbolic to me idk

Now I’m gathering the material for the new subjects even though I’ll have to wait to be back in class to have a reliable feedback from my classmates. For now I’ve bought two books, the other two I’ll get after making sure they’re the right ones.

How are you all? How do you feel about the new academic year?