mentally-spiraling - Tumblr blog

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people who find it easy to do things have no idea how hard it is to do things

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小顶山xiaodingshan, chongqing by 爽De很

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500x500px works

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DPD culture is

“Why aren’t you responding? Please respond. Please I need you to help me decide asap! Pleasepleaseplease- oh there you are! Pleaseeeeee tell me wtf to do!”

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DPD culture is developing a person 6 years older than you that lives across the world from you as a dp and feeling the worst you ever had bcz??? wtf that’s weird????

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Bestie I can feel rejected by things you wouldn’t even think of

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unstoppable force (my friends would hardly notice/care if I disappeared so why bother putting in the effort to connect with them) vs immovable object (what if they DO notice but they assume I just hate them ◠̈)

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can things stop happening? i’m still trying to process the things that happened when i was 3 what do you mean there are more things

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avpd pros is knowing little facts about people so you seem like a rlly good and observant friend! cons is that none of those people are actually your friends and just people you want to be friends with and so you look like a fucking creep weirdo knowing so many little things about them

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people will never not associate lack of contact with lack of caring and that’s why i will never keep a friend

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Avpd culture is

Why am I so scared to see my friend

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saw a friend's tweet saying basically if you have social anxiety, a good tip is to talk to people if they come talk to you first.

and dude, tell me you don't have social anxiety without telling me you don't have social anxiety. i know it came from a good place but shit's not as easy as you might think, especially if you have avpd on top of that. like, if someone comes talk to me irl, my first instinct is to back the fuck off and end the convo asap bc i'm not comfortable at all talking to strangers. i don't wanna know you, and i'm not interested in whatever you have to say. just carry on with your life please.

anyway. just needed to vent.

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“i feel like i’m faking my disorder until i remember i’m experiencing symptoms alone in my room where there’s no one to be faking for” …you mean you guys don’t have an imaginary audience that lives in your head and likes to make judgmental commentary??

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it's always weird trying to pretend everything's fine when you think your friends hate you

ya know what's even weirder? when only 1 of your friends have taken the time to try and reach out to you TWICE and everything in your heart wants to reach back but your brain's over here saying that they don't really care and why won't they leave you alone

so now you're mad and want to be left alone until about 2 hours later when you realize how stupid you were just now but now it feels too late to reply back bc so much time has passed and you don't know what to say

it's all just kinda weird, ya know

(i am venting. i am not asking for advice.)

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Shit I just remembered a really embarrassing thing that happened nine years ago involving people I will never meet again and now my evening is ruined

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