merajsblog

[merajsblog]

i wish i was more than i am

[merajsblog]

Marvel

[merajsblog]

Spider-Man is a stoner

an: hi this is so different from anything else I've made. But i am a stoner (stoner represent), and when i was smoking last night i was like wait a damn minute...esp with this scene in mind. Spidey comes to you, and you do your daily nighttime routine.

The New York air was exceedingly crisp this night. You're cranking the old window open, as it groans in exhaustion. You're little New York apartment was your dream place. Yes, the location, and size were ideal, but what sold you was the balcony. It was a small, rickety, metal fire exit. "Balcony" was an overstatement. But god, did you love it.

Often, at the end of the day, you had to make time for your favorite resting activity; smoking a nice blunt. After the long day of today, you deserved it. You're donned in your favorite spider man hoodie and black sweatpants, with spiderman slippers on too. Could you guess who your favorite superhero was? The rolled blunt held gently in your mouth, lighter in your pocket as you cranked the window. It took a few tries, and was a good arm workout for every night, but it was so worth it. The air slaps you in the face, entering your apartment with power. Your apartment was on the 13th floor. The view was...to die for. The city sparkeled, you could hear people chattering below on the street. The smoke from the pipes, the grey clouds that crowded over head were all important to you. It felt like home out here.

Sighing, you're getting adjusted into your comfortable position, knees to your chest. Quietly, music is playing from inside. Its you're and Peter's favorite song. Your cat is quietly purring, jumping up on the windowsill inside. He's keeping quiet watch over the city too. Smiling, you hold the blunt to your mouth, lighter flickering as the wind blows it out.

"Ugh, really?!" you sigh quietly. It's hard to light it without cupping your hand over the light to keep it safe from the wind.

"Need help with that?"

Excitement washes over you. You didn't even need to look up to hear who it was. Your eyes are met with a red and blue suit, as Peter tears his mask off. His eyes are bright, like he's soaking up the moonlight as it washed over your face. You were the best surprise to come home too.

"Hi Spidey." You chip out, smiling. "Want a smoke?" you gesture. Hes sticking his arms out, as if that was the craziest suggestion you could of said. "No Ma'am, not when you haven't gotten the first hit. And by the way...I didn't realize we we're both Spider-Man." You're laughing loudly now, his favorite sound. He does love when you wear his merch. He crawls in, crouching in front of you. Your cat is meowing now, and he gives him an obligatory meow back, before covering him in all the pets he would ever want. He's still in his suit. Grabbing the lighter from your hand, he bends forward to give you a soft kiss on the lips. Its savory, and light. The kind that makes you want more. You're putting the blunt to your mouth, inhaling. He cups a hand around it, the intimacy of being so close making you get butterflies. It lights, perfectly blazing on the blunt. You inhale deeply, feeling the smoke fill your mouth. Exhaling you're smiling while smoke comes out of your nostrils.

It was like some secret turn-on he had. He's unconsciously biting his lip, before standing up quickly. "Don't smoke all of it, I will be right back. Let me tell you the freaking encounter I just had." He's rambling now, while he fumbles his suit off. Your cat is following him, occasionally meowing at Peter for pets. He always had to oblige. Your smile lines feel engraved in your face now, as you can't stop. That usually happened whenever he was around. Slowly smoking, you're completely entranced by what he is saying. "And then, boom, the BANK explodes, and there's all these people running, and I'm trying to get them to safety, and the cops come and," he is laughing now in the distance, "and they're trying to arrest me and all that." He sighs. "I'm glad you're home safe." you speak out. He sticks his head back outside the window, his brown hair rustled from pulling his favorite shirt on. He's putting the cat back down on the windowsill, after holding him. He's covered in cat hair now. You're eyes are drooped, smoke coming out of your mouth slowly. He's smiling too, head in his hands as he watches you, like its his last time. As you gesture the blunt to him, he crawls right back out. He's crouching in front of you again, your feet in his lap. He's taking a big hit, before he's pointing at your feet.

"Dude, I love these slippers." You're laughing now, "They're new. I got them yesterday." He smiles, smoke coming out of his nose now. When he makes eye contact with you, it feels electric. You're head in your hand now, rested on your knee. You're inches away from each other's face. "I missed you." He quiety lets out, smoke coming out of his mouth. You smile, a hand reaching out to touch his face. He melts into your touch. If he ever needed healing, you're who he would come to. He felt like your touch could undo anything. He's handing you the blunt again, his arms wrapping around your calves now. He always loved touching you.

Peter had always stayed away from drinking or drugs, not particularly interested in them. He wasn't always one for a party. But when he met you, and you told him how smoking relaxed you, he wanted to try. Especially after a tiring day of chasing people, and having your flight or flight triggered every day, weed was one way he could relax and let go. And, it meant he could spend time with his favorite person as the two of you gauged all the food out, shoveling it in your mouths. He feels relaxed, and like he isn't overstimulated. As you two finish outside, he helps you as you crawl back inside the window. You find your spot on the couch, as he lays ontop of you

"Pete, I can't breathe." you cough out, as he lays all his weight on your chest. Groaning, he rolls over, as you gasp for air. "You little asshole." You grin out, while his hand goes to cup your face. Gently, he is rubbing his thumb across your face, taking in all your features.

"Did I tell you I missed you." he whispers out. Its met with laughter, "Yes, Spider-Man, you did."

[merajsblog]

you can do it. the only reason you can’t is because you think you can’t do it.

[merajsblog]

rin never had time for anyone else besides soccer. he was always busy either with school, or more importantly, practicing for soccer.

he never expected to find you on one random friday night. it was well after his practice, and his mom dragging him and his family to the mall to do some last minute shopping for a family party. he was beyond unhappy to be dragged along doing such “NPC” activities on a friday night, as if he was going to go out or something…

“Rin come look at this and tell me if it looks okay!” his mom calls out. he turns the corner, sulking as he heads over to check it out. she’s holding a black velvet dress with a rather large bow on it. she’s holding it up against herself, beaming at him. he’s opening his mouth to say something bland, before you come around from behind her, hands full with clothing.

you’ve got the cutest smile he’s ever seen. your eye contact is sharp, and it feels as though you’ve pierced through him. you give him a soft smile and he is even more lost for words.

“i found these dresses too! i think they’d look wonderful on you!” you beam at his mom. you clearly worked here, the walkie on your belt and badge told him that. he pays close attention now, watching you sway around her, helping her button up her shirts, and conversing about what looked best.

rin honestly had no words. there was something entrancing about you, and he felt as though he needed to analyze everything about you and your actions. he took note of how you’d bite your lip when thinking, when you placed your hands on your hips, how your head turned to the side when considering.

“Please, I insist!” he hears his mom say. it snaps him out of it. he’s engaged in the conversation now, trying to figure out what’s happening.

“When is it?” you ask, cocking your head to the side. rins mom looks at him, and before he even thinks, he’s blurting out the exact date and time. “November 30th, 8pm!” he says, wide eyed. his mom chuckles a little before trying more to persuade you to come.

“Rin, help me persuade her! I want to thank her for her amazing help! I found the perfect dress!” She says, eyes brimming like stars.

he was lost on what to say. no words came to mind.

“yes.” was all he could mutter out while maintaining the most intense eye contact ever. it made you swallow whole.

“Rin, give her your number and send our adress, i will see you there!” she squabbles, while hustling to the check out. you walk over, smile on your face and hand reaching out. rin almost forgets what is happening, this looks like a scene out of an angel movie or something. he only watched horror.

“let me put my number in your phone!” you said, hand extended. he fumbles his hands, trying to pull it out.

“yea hold on..um it’s..wait.” and he pulls his phone out. you quickly type it in, and hand it back, tucking hair behind your ears. he’s never been this starstruck before. he’s stumbling over his words, eye contact faltering. if anyone in blue lock saw him now, they wouldn’t even recognize him.

it’s safe to say he cannot wait until the party.

“i hope to see you then..or i mean my mom is excited to see you..” he mutters, starting to back away. you let out a giggle and he’s lost again, mouth slightly open.

“i’ll see you guys soon then.” you say curtly, before another customer comes hustling in asking for help. he’s almost upset, and wants to tell them to fuck off. though, he thinks you would hate him if he did that. so he doesn’t.

[merajsblog]

the aftermath of the game leaves you exhausted. your sat on the floor, layed out. you're still trying to get your breathing under control.

"are you doing alright?" a familiar voice calls. you smile, not even having to know who is there.

"yes, akaashi, im okay. just beat. that was a tough game." you say loudly. he is standing in front of you as you start to sit up. he offers his hand, helping you up. his hands are calloused but still soft. he has that look in his eyes, making it ridiculously hard to look away. you could swear it was just you two in the gym and not at least 30 other people.

your fellow manager, and best friend, comes screaming up to you, talking about how amazing you were. she grabs your wrist, jumping up and down, leaving you wincing. she lets go, and akaashi's eyes are down on your forearm, beholding a large blue bruise in the middle of your forearm.

you chuckle nervously, starting to put your hand behind your back. akaashi swiftly grabs it, looking you in the eyes. his thumb is running softly over your arm, barely brushing over your bruise. it is enough to cause a wince from you.

"you need to ice this." he says, calmly, though that calmness doesn't meet his eyes completely. you nod slowly. "i can ice it at home, I have to start heading back now anyways." you say, pulling your arm from his grip. you grab your bag, starting to head out. you weren't embarrassed, but slightly upset that you struggled in that game, your arms showing proof of your battle.

"y/n!" you hear someone call out behind you. you turn around out of instinct, and see akaashi speed walking towards you.

"whats wrong akaashi?" you say, furrowing an eyebrow.

"oh, i was just wondering if you wanted to well, i am not sure where you live, but i was just wondering if you possibly would be okay with me walking with you..." he finally gets out. you smile, nodding

"i'd like that a lot." you say softly.

"plus then i can buy you an ice pack on the way home." he says in all seriousness. you roll your eyes, "i'm just going to run away from you." you say jokingly. he laughs, and it is the most beautiful sound ever. it makes you smile, enjoying every second of it. you two head off the same way, as the sun is slowly starting to set.

[merajsblog]

୨♡୧

"this is where the boy's locker room is!" you state, spinning on your heel.

"thank you for showing us here." states the tall one with black spikey hair. he's smirking down at you, and you can't tell if this is flirty or not.

"i can show you guys back to the gym after you finish." you state. standing to the side. a few minutes later, one with half blonde hair walks out, he looks like he does NOT want to be here at all. he turns and looks at you for a second before immediately looking away.

"so are you a manager for the boys team?" a shaved head boy asked.

"oh no im not! i am actually on the girls team, but my friend needed me to fill in for the other manager since she isn't here right now." you state with a smile. ooo's can be heard, with additional questions like what position you are, and a whisper about how cute the uniform is for girls at the school. swiftly, you lead them back. as you enter the gym, akaashis eyes are already on you, unwavering. you look away, glancing to the opposite side of the net.

"you guys can warm up on this side of the net!" you state warmly.

"thanks for showing us." kuroo says cooly, stepping in front of you.

you hear a smack on the floor, before bokuto is yelling "akaashi, pay attention to the ball, jeez!". you turn around, making eye contact with him again, before he looks away, muttering his apologies.

"your team over there seems to be in shambles without you." kuroo snickers. you shake your head with the smallest smile on your face, before turning back towards their side of the net.

the whistle is blown, signaling the beginning of the practice match. you don't even get to sit down before you hear a cry. one person is crumpled on the floor, crutching his ankle.

"i fell wrong, its nothing im fine!" he exclaims, but is ushered off the court before he can finish arguing.

"dammit, i told you to be careful!" coach is explaining to him. "who wants to sub in for him." coach states, turning towards the warmup bench. you don't seem to notice every sub take a step back, before coaches' hands are on your shoulders.

"thanks for stepping up y/n, but im afraid you can't play." coach says. you look taken aback. "i wasn't stepping up, but why wouldn't I be able to play?" you cock your head. the entire game has their eyes on you. surely, he didn't think you couldn't handle playing in a boy's match. your arms are crossed as you stare defiantly.

he lets out an exasperated sigh before rolling his eyes. "you can borrow one of the smaller uniforms then. go ahead and get changed."

you feel a smile beaming on your face as you skip out the door.

୨♡୧

after changing, and still adjusting the uniform, you step onto the court. akaashi is looking at you, seemly almost concerned and curious as to how you play. you assume your position, back upfront at the net. you're faced off with the tall spikey hair boy again, as he smirks down at you again.

"this doesn't seem very fair..." akaashi murmurs, acknowledging the match up made in front of you. you giggle, hitting his arm. "i'll be fine." you state with determination. as soon as the match whistle blows again, you feel the hunger drifting in the game. everyone is fighting for their chance to showcase their power. including you. as soon as Nekoma serves, your libero receives perfectly, and as the ball glides to akaashi, he effortlessly tosses to bokuto, who smacks the ball down, right to their own libero. you hear his familiar groans of how he shouldn't have hit it there. you don't get much time to think before your instincts are screaming at you to jump. it feels like your stomach is clenching, your legs itching to move. before you even get the chance to fully process it, your legs are bouncing, and you feel the familiar feeling of a hard ball pressing into your forearm. you wince slightly, the ball being harder than usual. that was definitely leaving a bruise. you're met with shocked eyes, as kuroo descends from his peak of where he spiked. its silent for a second before you hear cheers behind you, and the team swarms you. you feel giddy, it was a good hit you blocked. your arm is throbbing, as you assume your position again.

you look down, rubbing your thumb over it. there was already a bruise faintly forming, discoloration setting in. you hear a familiar voice enter your ear, as smooth as butter.

"are you okay?" concern laced in his voice. he is inches from your face, his hand reaching for your arm. you pull away, not wanting to be taken off the court already.

"akaashi, im fine, please.." you say, pleading in your voice a little. you didn't want the chance to be taken away from you like you had now. this game would test your limits, and you were itching for it. his gaze softens before nodding. he assumes his position too.

minutes pass by, leaving you itching for the ball again. akaashi had been so generous with his sets to bokuto. usually you got to hit that much on your own team, but you weren't the ace here. bokuto was getting shut down by the other team, as kuro adapted to him. akaashi looks at you for a second and your stare is burning into him. he opens his mouth to say something, but before he has the chance, you state rather harshly.

akaashi's pov:

"give me the ball." she says, determination dripping out of every syllable. if looks could kill, i'd be dead. she makes my goosebumps prickle and keeps me on my toes. somehow, i'm always aware of her every move. i nod silently. she assumes her position, locked in on the opponents. kenma serves on the other team, giving a lazy serve. immediately i am on the ball, not even waiting for a receive first. i know where she is, and as i look up, seeing her position over the net already. serving perfectly, i shoot the ball rather directly at her. she grimaces, and i assume that its because that is not the type of set she likes, she swings, slapping the ball down, next to the front of the net. there is sliding as their libero tries to receive it. she turns to me, her hair whipping from her face, a smile starting to form, showing her teeth. she had the type of smile to make anyone smile, and i was no exception. i beam back at her, approaching her before she skips over to me, high fiving me with both hands. as soon as our hands slap together, she pulls me closer by my hands, whispering in my ear; "that was amazing but next time keep it a little furthur from the net." she giggles in my ear.

my heart is pounding there is no way she can't hear it. she's looking up at me, through her eyelashes, a slanted smile still suited on her face. our hands were still touching.

"okay, i can try." i say breathlessly. my eyes glance down, seeing discoloration appear on her forearms. probably from the hit she took from kuro. once my eyes lock on it, she is pulling her hands away, backing up.

"lets try again." she says quietly.

pt.3 ?>>??!?!?!

[merajsblog]

"y/n y/n!!" you hear your friend shout, bolting through the classroom. you startle, looking up at your loud friend. "Are you doing something after school?" she says inquisitively looking at you, her hands on your desk. you frown slightly, cocking your head to the side. "no, I don't think so why?" you didn't have practice after school today. you were slightly sad it was your day off and you would probably be busy again.

her hands slam down on your desk once again. "PLEASE come to the boys' volleyball club game today." she says, with the most hopeful look on her face. Your friend was a manager of the fukurodani volleyball club.

"i would love to, but could you tell me why?" you say raising an eyebrow. "is it because your little crush is there..." you say with a smirk, elbowing her side. she had the biggest crush on the ace of the team, Bokuto. he was a force to be reckoned with as his bellows rang down the classroom halls. she immediately blushes, stuttering as she exclaims "n-no! i just need help because the other manager won't be here today, and i NEEEED help!!" she whines. you roll your eyes, "okay, okay i can come help you." you say giving an exasperated sigh. you hadn't seen the boys' team that often and watching them play might give you some creativity for your own plays on the girls' volleyball team.

୨♡୧

after the last bell rang, you stepped into the gym. the familiar sounds of the ball smacking against hands and the floor rang through the air. your friend was already sitting on the bench, talking to the coach. you hadn't brought a change of clothes out of your uniform considering you thought you would be headed home right after school. you casually walked over, your bag still on your shoulder.

"oh! y/n, you're here thank GOD!" she exclaims. "coach this is y/n, the captain of the girls' volleyball team!" she says, a little too loud. it felt like the whole gym went quiet.

"oh, haha yea, I heard that you guys were down a manager and she asked if she could get my help." you chuckle nervously.

"boy's, team meeting really quick!!" the coach bellows in the silence. the sound of squeaking fills the air as they shuffle closer. you immediately spot bokuto, how could anyone miss him and his horned hair. your friend is beaming, staring maybe a little too hard at him.

"bokuto, where is akaashi?" coach states, his head on a swivel looking for him.

"oh i think he's coming a little late..." and right in the middle of that sentence, your jaw drops. akaashi is entering the gym, his dark black hair soaking up the sun. his grey eyes dart around the gym before landing on you. your eyes are wide, mouth slightly hanging open.

"sorry coach, i was helping someone with homework after class ended." he says, standing by bokuto. While coach is talking about the game, your heart is pounding. how did your friend hang around her crush for so long, you figured your heart would go out if you stayed around here any longer.

"...and thank you y/n l/n for stepping up as a manager for today. she is the captain of the girl's volleyball team, so she won't go easy on you." he says grinning.

you give a half-hearted chuckle. they shout their thank-yous before returning to their practice. your still stood there. even the way his voice sounded was smooth and velvety, like music to your ears.

"if you need help with anything please just let me know. some people on this team can be quite a handful at times." says akaashi, as he is approaching you. he is looking at you, his grey eyes feel like they are piercing you. he gives you a small smile before turning around too.

"ooo what was that!" your friend says, elbowing you now. you immediately fall apart, shushing her. well, if you had known that this guy was going to be on the team you would have said yes to helping out so fast. the way he played was calm and collected, but still calculating. he was the setter, playing beautifully with his hands.

not long had gone by, before you heard a knock on the door. it seemed as though only you had heard it. you turn, opening the door. Nekoma is stood there, all bundled up in their red clothing. the cold winter air, nipped at you.

"hi! are you guys here for the game?" you question, opening the door a little more. you feel a warm presence behind you, a hand being placed on the gym door. your met with golden eyes, and ridiculously tall boys.

"could you redirect them to the locker room really quickly while we clean up in here. they need to drop their stuff off anyways." you hear akaashi's voice in your ear. you turn looking at him wide-eyed. his hand is placed on the gym wall next to you, as he leans over your shoulder, almost whispering in your ear.

"oh, yea I can do that." you say, inches away from his face. his grey eyes are just beautiful, making it incredibly hard to look away as your eyes lock with his. you give him a small smile, and you watch the corner of his mouth lift before he pulls away.

you were curious as to where this was going.

p.s there will be a pt.2 because im feeling quirky.

[merajsblog]

𓆩ᥫ᭡𓆪*ೃ༄

akaashi keji was quiet. it wasn’t that he was too shy or scared to speak, he just would rather not talk. he liked observing. he was sat at the back of the classroom, nose in a manga. his nose scrunched a little and his eyebrows slowly rose into a confused look as he read. his hand was propped up on the desk supporting his head as his dark hair soaked up the sunlight. he occasionally pushed his glasses up.

as you found your seat, and placed your bag on the proper hook, as you turn to meet other classmates.

as you just observed him, he likes to observe you. quietly placing his manga down, his gaze flits over to you. his gaze is intimate and soft enough that you don’t feel like anyone is staring at you. he observes how you stand, where your hands are, your posture from behind. it was easy to watch you. he was entranced to say the least.

at the end of class, he had grown confident enough to say hello to you before heading to lunch. you were sat there, hands in your hair staring with your brows furrowed at the marked paper in front of you. this class had been exceptionally tough for you. math was hard to understand and even harder if you didn’t have a good teacher.

“hello y/n” akaashi would say politely, while walking by your desk. you looked up your brows furrowed, still thinking about the problem. you had a slight frown on your face too. as you looked up at him he could swear his heart skipped a beat.

“hi akaashi!” you said, smiling after a bit. “i’m sorry, i was just trying to figure this out before lunch but it seems like ill be stuck here a while…” you said giving a half laugh. you look back down, expecting him to walk away.

“well, for this part you just have to take the anti derivative of the derivative. you should be able to get your answer after that.” he said, squatting down next to your desk.

you were startled. this was the last thing you were expecting. you were determined to learn this, determination overcoming you. as he pointed and helped you through each step, you felt more confident.

“you’re a life saver akaashi keji.” you say making direct eye contact with him. you’re met with startled grey eyes, and his mouth slightly open in awe. he did love how you said his name.

“anytime y/n.” he said with a soft smile.

“did you get lunch already?! i’ll buy you bread and a milk i promise. you can pick from the vending machine!” you say triumphly. he snickers before shaking his head.

“you’re gonna need the brain food so i won’t take you up on that. thank you though.” he said softly. “we can head down to the cafeteria together if you’d like!” he said, stepping back and signaling the way ahead for you. you step out, and start walking ahead.

[merajsblog]

an : very short and brain rot.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　

you loved to watch oikawa play. he always seemed entranced, hypnotized almost. he was completely focused on the game. you enjoyed watching his devotion. he had a type of hunger that became contagious. he still was a team player, as you watch him coordinate silently with his teammates.

often he would come hunkering over with a sadistic smile, threatening to hug you all sweaty afterwards. often you’d bring his favorite food, milk bread to his games. usually while he was thanking you, the entire team would eat it, leaving oikawa a withering mess. you learned to make more at home after.

oikawa would often show his affection through words.

“have i told you how cute you look today?” he would say teasingly, leaning against the locker next to yours. his eyes gleamed a mischievous chocolate color, boring into yours. he did quite also like your schools uniform if he did say.

his love consisted of soft hands on the small of your back, random gifts in your locker, and lots of PDA. he was completely charmed by you. of course his fan girls did not like this new relationship and often would still show up to his games, yelling like their life depended on it while you sat quietly, side eyeing them. he hadn’t shown much interest in them besides when they gave him free gifts and loads of milk bread.

oikawa wasn’t aware how jealous he was until you two had started dating. especially with iwaizumi. you and iwa could be found talking about school or tutoring him when it came to subjects. oikawa would find himself with a furrowed brow and a pout forming as he watched you stand a little too close to him. he would say some random half-manipulative retort and try to snake between you two. iwaizumi could not care. you found it mildly amusing.

“ooh is someone upset?” you would coo, looking up at oikawa, a grin forming on your face. he was still pouting. and then he kissed you. you laughed.

[merajsblog]

hogwarts master list

[merajsblog]

sirius black x reader

authors note: this takes place back when sirius is in school at hogwarts. SFW. just some brain rot during finals 😭😭

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*

sirius has beautiful dark black eyes. they’re the types that suck up all the sun around it, yet still doesn’t get brighter. you loved them. it complimented his dark curls beautifully. his hair had gotten a little longer in the years he had been in hogwarts. his hair framed his pretty little face perfectly, wisps getting caught in the wind as he struggled to tuck his hair behind his ears. you had dragged him out during fall to take a break from studying for final exams. it was chilly, the wind nipping sharply at both of your noses. his scarf was wrapped tightly around your neck, leaving his bare. he didn’t seem to mind.

he watched the lake, corners of his mouth lifting a bit. “i need to get out more..” he says trailing off. hogwarts was beautiful and when you get swept up in school or with people, it could be a little hard to remember the smaller moments. this was one of them. you chuckled, placing your hands on your hips. “i knew you’d like taking a break.” you grin. he lets out a loud sigh before stretching his arms upward, stretching his back out. you two had been cramped up with james and remus, after lily had dragged you all to the library to study. it had been a few hours now. you two sat under the trees at the rocky shore infront of the lake. you two sat close together, trying to somehow make up for the cold that was enclosing on you. definitely wasn’t one of your smarter ideas with the weather, but it was refreshing. eventually, you would all be gathered around the fireplace in the common room, laughing heartily.

sirius was not yours. he was just now exploring himself and what he liked after being confined by his family, and you wanted to give him complete freedom for it. almost everyone knew you loved him. you did not mind. everytime you saw him, you were reminded how nonchalant you failed to be. he would crack jokes that would leave you two with booming laughs that covered the entirety of the lake. small moments like these you wish you could stay in forever. no matter, you did not want to burden him with your feelings. your eyes softly glazed over his cheekbones, his dark black eyes soaking in the cold view infront of him. his lips were pursed with a red color. you softly smiled, looking down at your now muddy boots.

“are you doing alright?” he asked, looking at you. you made eye contact and everything felt slow. your eyes slowly squinting and your lips turning into a smile. “i’m okay sirius. getting by.” you said the corner of your lips lifted. he smiled, but it didn’t quite meet his eyes.

“if there’s anything you need to tell me, you can tell me you know? can’t have anything on ur mind other than finals right now.” he said, looking down at the last part snickering. the lack of eye contact now left you looking around, hopefully he wasn’t going to make you confess now…

“i will. you also have a lot on your mind.” you said, starting to back away. nothing could give you away. you wouldn’t tie him to something again. he was already restricted from his family. you smiled softly, before even quietly saying “let’s go back now.” with your hands behind your back. he stepped infront of you. he was inches from your face. you could feel his hot breathe breathing down your nose, as your eyes connected, feeling like they were reaching out to each other. you felt chills running down your back.

“sirius.” you breathed out. his eyes looked a little more concerned than you anticipated. you couldn’t tell if it was concern for you or him. his eyebrows had slightly furrowed, as his eyes scanned your whole face.

“okay.” he said softly back. he turned you around, leaving a hand on your lower back for a brief second. his touch was warm compared to the cold nipping at your nose, and your fingertips. your mouth had slightly turned down and your brows moving closer together.

“i hope i didn’t upset you there.” he says still looking straight ahead.

“no, you didn’t i’m just thinking…” you said droning off.

the walk back was silent. the slosh from the mud below your feet and whirling wind filled the silence in the air. your shoulders occasionally bumped into each other, as you walked side by side. as you reached the entrance, you broke the silence.

“i’m going to head back to my room.” you said smiling small.

“oh i can walk you back to your-“

“no, no it’s okay! i’m sure your friends are waiting for you at the library.” you said cutting him off softly. you wanted a minute away, after the rollercoaster of emotions you felt. he managed to look even more concerned. his brows clearly furrowed, his eyes focused on yours. you reached your hand out, touching his arm.

“i’m fine i will see you at dinner.” you said smiling really. you weren’t upset with him or anything, just…discombobulated. a lot had happened and a lot almost happened. you let out a sigh, moving your arm back, as you turned swiftly to leave. he stood their, almost dejected looking. surely he didn’t ruin one of his most valuable relationships…

[merajsblog]

you will never have nothing.

i think sometimes depression can kind of feel like turning around and seeing a looming hand, figuratively going for a grip around your face. you are nothing without it. it is inevitable. i often feel this way, as i run away from everywhere i've ever been. i am always leaving. by starting over, i feel as though i have control. "it will be different." and usually it is different. i will change as my environment does, after all i am a product of it. but it can be overwhelming when there is nothing but this looming sense of doom and distraught. as soon as one thing goes wrong, and i think of everything else that has been wrong, such as my coffee being cold, her not responding to my messages, my mom calling asking what im doing and me struggling to respond with what i am going to do with my day. i get overwhelmed and turn around. there is comfort in the presence of it. it feels like my only constant. its waiting for the opportunity to drag me back down. it feels like hands scratching down my back, leaving faint marks, but getting redder each time. i dont want to turn around, i know whats there. if i reach out i will drag you down with me. i feel doomed.

but i am not that. i am not nothing. i dont want to be just tragedy. there is more to me than that. i will prove it to myself, and then i will prove it to you. you cannot ever rely on someone else to give you that sense of liberation. you must carve your path out of the stone. it will take so many tries, and your hands are going to fucking hurt and have blisters. but you will never have nothing. you will have your blisters, hardened skin, your furrow between your brows, your deep stare. you are everything, LITERALLY. i will be better and if i am not, i will try again. it will NEVER be constant. you are going to bend and break and re-mend. it is natural. rivers never flow straight. but you can do it and so can i. just always remember, you will never have nothing. you have words, tumblr texts, sad tiktok slide shows, warm food, cold coffee, rain, and your favorite animal and music. the world is not always warm but i do quite love the cold. make the most of it.

[merajsblog]

Can you do Blue Lock Rin x female reader x Sae? The reader is a very sweet and kind girl. The Itoshi brothers are fighting for her love.

authors note: hi!! :) my first ask! i will absolutely try my best to do this for sure. obviously the reader is femme, and is in a love triangle. no set relationships yet! just some itoshi brothers pining for a girl :)

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

you had known the itoshi family for some time now. you couldn’t say you were particularly close to them, but you were closer with their kids, rin itoshi and sae itoshi.

rin had a particular aura around him, one that differed from his older brother, sae, in a lot of ways. they shared some similar traits like their cold, calculating stares, but rin was a little more passionate than sae was. not to say sae wasn’t a passionate person, it just wasn’t something your noticed off the bat like with rin. they both devoted themselves to soccer.

rin was devoted to the challenge. he didn’t like half baked stuff. he wanted something that challenged his norm, and looked beyond the threshold. he was cold and calculating, much like his older brother. he liked horror, and yoga. his soccer seemed almost rooted in desperation.

sae on the other hand, was a little older. he had lived in spain, and he kept wanting to go back. he was calculating and manipulative at times. he was straightforward and honest. his soccer was rooted in searching.

it was a cold day, winter at its finest. you had gone to see your family friends, and especially the itoshi brothers. your relationship with them was…interesting. you were polar opposites, while being polite and kind instead of calculating and cold. there was something about this opposition that attracted both of them to you. maybe it was your sweetness that drugged both of them to lust for you, even though they dreaded feeling that way towards someone out of their control. they had control of everything, at least on the field, but this was way out of their league.

“oh please y/n, come inside its freezing out there!!” says mrs. itoshi. you stepped inside, finally seeking refuge from the storm outside. it was time for your yearly visit to see the family.

you grinned kindly at the older woman for letting you in, doing your respectful bow.

“oh hello y/n” a familiar voice says to you from the stair case. you look upwards, batting your eyelashes at rin itoshi. his hair was swooped forward a bit, and dark teal. his eyes were mesmerizing, a vibrant teal color. you could see from where you were standing his long lashes fluttering as he walked down the stairs with his strong demeanor. he was donned in a button up and slacks, your guess was it was his mom who coerced him to dress nicely. his button up wasn’t fully buttoned, leaving one open button at the top. you smiled, “hello rin! how have you been?” you asked, taking off your shoes slowly.

“i’ve been good.” he says curtly. he’s avoiding eye contact. you let out a soft huff, “is that all? tell me about this soccer thing you’ve been at! i’ve heard all about it from school.” you say, looking up at him from the entry way.

“oh, yea it’s been pretty cool we actually just-“

he gets cut off, pulling your arm towards him, almost into his chest, as the door behind you unlocks and opens again. sae is standing in the door way, the tip of his nose is red. he must’ve been standing outside for a while…

“oh, y/n, i didn’t know you were gonna be here yet. sorry for the intrusion, i was just throwing the trash out.” sae says, donning a crooked smile looking at you. he’s also wearing a button up, except the top few buttons aren’t done, revealing much more than you thought you’d see.

you stifle out a laugh. “it’s nice to see you too sae.” you say, smiling as you politely angle your head down in a casual bow. he takes this opportunity to ruffle the top of your head as he passes by, ignoring rin. you turn around, heat spreading in your cheeks.

“i can take your coat if you want..” rin mumbles out. you grab your coat and give it to him, before walking into the kitchen of the house. there’s food everywhere, in nice plates, and sae is pouring himself a glass of something to drink. his red coral hair is smooth in the ambient light, his back to you. he has the same beautiful teal eyes as his younger brother.

“i was just telling her about the recent game we had.” rin says, leaning against the door way, right next to you. you can smell his expensive cologne.

sae snickers. “the game i lost in?”

“yes that game.” rin says sharply.

you’re looking at the two of them, as they talk. you couldn’t tell if this was banter or something worse.

“just know that i wasn’t really trying at the beginning, i was just testing out shidou. i didn’t even break a sweat the entire time.” sae says, focusing on his drink, smiling at himself.

the air feels tense. rin opens his mouth to retort, when you hear the door open once more. you all turn to look, seeing more family friends pour in the hallway. you’re tapping on rins arm now,

“rin where is the restroom again?” you ask making direct eye contact. it’s like lightning striking through you when you make contact like this. it’s sharp and hard to ignore. he’s opening his mouth, and moving his arm almost as if to take your hand to lead you over, when sae speaks right next to you.

“i can show you. i want to grab something from my room anyways. come with me.” he says, handing his drink to rin before softly grabbing your forearm.

“she asked me you know.” rin says, eyes boring into saes skull. he is clenching the drink. you put your hand on his arm, “it’s fine, we’ll be back soon okay? then i can catch you up on school.” you say, smiling softly. you and rin shared the same grade, while sae was a little above you guys.

sae is already ushering you towards the area where the bathroom is and up the stairs.

“i got you a little gift actually..you can use my bathroom too.” sae says, still walking ahead of you. you can’t see his expression at all. he’s always been a little harder to read than rin. rin always shared the same peachy cheek, puppy eyed look with you, but with sae you had no idea what was going on in his head.

it’s not long before you’re in his room. it’s rather empty, but it makes sense since he doesn’t really live here anymore. he hands you a box, a small bracelet with a gem on it.

“it’s your birthstone actually…” he says scratching the back of his head. he also isn’t making eye contact with you. the bracelet is adorable and when he puts it on your wrist, it seems almost like it fits perfectly.

“thank you sae, this was really sweet of you, but i didn’t get you anything besides the family gifts…” you say starting to pout. maybe your family sized chocolates you brought wasn’t good enough this time..

he lets out a small smile, “no you’re fine i just felt like giving you this something special. oh! the bathroom is right there by the way, i’ll be out in the hallway if you need anything.” he says, starting to walk away. you head in, fixing your appearance in the mirror. you could swear you hear talking outside saes room in the hallway.

you’re about to step out after opening the door, when you hear the booming echo of all the guests in the living room. it’s almost overwhelming for a second. here you are, in a house that isn’t entirely familiar, struggling between two angsty boys. you’re frozen in the middle of the hallway.

“are you okay?” you hear someone ask behind you. whipping around, you see rin looming there behind you.

“oh, yea no i’m fine it was just..a little loud for a minute there…i swear there wasn’t THAT many people before…” you said nervously chuckling.

“yea they kinda all just appeared..i went to my room for a minute but then i saw you just standing here like an npc…” he says, seriously.

you can’t help but laugh a little at that.

“do you want to head down with me? or do you want to take a minute up here?” he says, cocking his head a little. “everyone will love you down there, trust me. how could anyone not like someone like you.” he mutters.

“we can head down, thanks for coming with me.” you said, now it was your turn to look away. the blush was looming over your face. he was standing awfully close. his cologne was intoxicating. you turn around slowly, heading towards the stairs. there is swarms of people crawling around downstairs. you stop at the crest of the top of the stairs case. a warm hand is placed on your lower back. his touch is like a spark as your goosebumps go up.

“i can go first, just follow close behind me, okay?” rin whispers in your ear, moving seamlessly around you. he’s headed down the stairs case, stepping a few steps, before turning around, beckoning you to come. you follow not long after. you two step down the staircase, while sae is sitting at the bottom. he seems preoccupied with a conversation, probably what you were hearing while in the bathroom.

he’s staring now, his eyes boring into yours.

as you two reach the bottom of the stairs, sae immediately starts speaking to you.

“sorry about that, i got pulled away, i was gonna head back up there to see if you were doing okay.” he said, ignoring his old conversation.

rin scoffs before starting to head past sae.

“do you like the bracelet i bought for you?” sae questions, stopping rin in his tracks. rin usually notices anything new about you. how could he not? he noticed your new shoes, and how your mascara was sitting on your pretty eyelashes. your eyes seemed lighter due to the season change. how often you furrowed your brows when anxious.

“i love it, it is really beautiful sae. and thank you rin for coming down with me.” you say, trying to please both of them.

“how sweet of you to say that.�� sae cooes, particularly in jab to rin. they’re both standing at the bottom of the stair case, looking up at you. what in the world was going on with them tonight. it felt almost like…a competition.

it couldn’t be that they were both pining for your attention, could it be?

[merajsblog]

yuji itadori

you adored yuji. ever since you had met him, you were inexplicably drawn to him. his poise, his aura, the way his eyes focused. the callous and scars on his body signifying his hurdles. even his body was becoming hardened over time, by scar tissue, and yet still he remained kind. many had tried to break him, under the preface of killing fellow sorcerers and trying to pry themselves under his skin.

after mahito had taken so many away from him, he met his doom. the aftermath of shibuya was…rocky to say the least. once everything started snowballing it was tough to make time for each other.

you two were sat in the common area, watching the stars. yuji was sat in front of you, his head in between your legs as you sat a step up behind him. you had your arms wrapped around his neck, and his hand was caressing your calf. his head was pressed against your right inner thigh. he seemed almost in a daze now. he usually was. you saw the damage that sukuna had made, in yujis body. of course he took it upon himself to wallow in suffering from it. it had been a while since you saw his grin last, the one that could light up a room. his nose crinkled a bit when he smiled and laughed like that.

you pressed your nose to the top of his head.

“is something on your mind, love?” you whispered softly into his hair. you felt him rustle below you, laying his head back on your lap. his eyes pooled like circles of tigers eye and honey. the moonlight shone over his face, illuminating his frown and rugged eye bags. his soft pink hair was pressed against your stomache.

“nothing much. why what’s wrong?” he asked, looking at you with admiration, still. you softly smiled at him, “nothing. just wanted to make sure you weren’t in your head so much.”

he gave you a small smile. you kissed his forehead softly. that was until one of yujis second eyes opened, and a nasty smirk took place on his cheek.

“aw how cute. i’ll kill you next first.” sukuna rumbles out.

disgust washes over you. you feel your gaze harden, your nose flaring. your eyebrows start creasing downwards, your lips pulling into a scowl. how dare he speak. you can feel your heart blaring. it pissed you off. your skin was crawling. disgusting. he let out a small chuckle but soon went away. you had no words to say.

you were met with big eyes, brimmed with tears, and lips turning downwards into a horrible frown. he looked distraught. you immediately cupped his face.

“hey its okay don’t let him get to you.” you say, whispering to his lips. he tries to nod, but all he can do is choke on the swell of emotions he is feeling.

it’s not long before hes crumbled up in a ball, trying to swallow his tears. he hated this hold sukuna had over him. but it was a human reaction. sukunas threats were no joke.

you hold his back, just being there for comfort. it was all you could do. you were both powerless again.

it wasn’t long before this wave of emotion would be overcome, but it wouldn’t be long before the next one happened again. he didn’t want to taint anyone’s name, but by taking on all this suffering he would bring himself to ruin. not everyone’s suffering was his to take. maybe with time he would understand that. but for now he would be here, with you. for he would still remain kind.

[merajsblog]

she/hers • 21 •

hi!! i just write whatever i’m either thinking about or obsessing over.. i am new to tumblr lol so im still trying to figure out where stuff is, but i think my inbox is open for messages or whatever you’re thinking about. my requests are open too!!! i will try my best to make your ideas come to life :))) enjoy!!

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

masterlist

jujutsu kaisen

bungo stray dogs

blue lock

snow white with red hair

haikyuu

black clover

hogwarts

marvel

[merajsblog]

bungo stray dogs master list

☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

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