messymonologues - Tumblr blog

[messymonologues]

soooo… i think it’s become obvious that this blog has turned into another addition to my unfinished adhd projects collection. i didn’t mean for this to happen but i keep forgetting to post and i’ve already started like 3 other projects (send help!) so i think it’s fair that everyone knows that i probably won’t be on here much anymore. i’m planning on leaving everything up still, but yeah… i’m sorry guys!!! i’ll probably find this blog again in a few months and start posting again for a few weeks and then wash, rinse, & repeat lol. love you all!!!

[messymonologues]

hi there, i just wanted to say that you’re post about ADHD and perpetual lying reallly hit home! it’s so liberating to know that i’m not the only person out there struggling with feeling like i have to hide the truth 24/7 and always being ashamed of acting like such a liar. thank you for speaking about it so clearly! i wish all parents of ADHD kids could see this post so they understand that none of us ever feels good or gets joy out of lying to ppl we love. you rock OP! :-)

hi anon,, thank you so much for this message!! i wasnt sure how well that post was gonna go over because lying in itself is such a controversial thing to be talking about, but i’m surprised at how many people relate to what i said! i’m so comforted to know that i’m not alone in these many struggles of the adhd shitshow :) have a great day/night/evening!!

[messymonologues]

well, i guess now it’s time to file a financial aid appeal so i can get my darn money for college 🤡 this is totally what i needed to be dealing with on my first day of classes (sarcasm)

[messymonologues]

dude. tell me why my college tuition is $70,000 and fafsa STILL has yet to send me a single dollar of aid??? brb freaking out. 😭😩

[messymonologues]

so glad i decided to start sophomore year 2 weeks early with a fast-paced summer course… homegirl is finally on top of her academic shit 😎 maybe this time the motivation will last bc i have already taken 11 pages of notes and it’s only been two days ahaha

[messymonologues]

so… i’ve decided to not post the entirety of the “deep dive” discussion on all the many aspects of school-related struggles with adhd- this is because as a whole, i have WAY too much to say about it and if i attempted to say everything it would probably end up being a 10,000+ word count essay lmao. but i will be posting similar discussions on the specifics of adhd & academic issues… just not the deep dive i’ve been promoting here lol. more content coming soon!

[messymonologues]

my life has been a mess lately sorry! i’ll be more active soon haha

[messymonologues]

happy half a year to this blog! 🥳

[messymonologues]

sorry i’m not as active as i hoped to be, i’m getting my life back together after a catastrophic freshman year of college 🙃 stay tuned!

[messymonologues]

word search games are my favorite time waster. forget tiktok- why watch random videos of random people doing random things for hours on end when i can waste the same amount of time finding every word in the english language except the ones the level wants me to find so i can get bonus points? wayyy more fun

[messymonologues]

growth post ahead:

i have just come to the realization that i am beyond fortunate to have the parents that i do. specifically, my mother.

we have not always seen eye to eye- as a matter of fact, we’ve disagreed and misunderstood each other on most things, especially when it comes to my adhd. but ever since i started this blog and started talking to her about the things i post on here, she’s taken so much interest in it that i can tell it’s grown close to her heart… and this post is to say that i’m really proud of her.

she’s started helping me open up whenever i talk with her about my mental health, she’s started validating the experiences that i had growing up that she used to never quite understand, and most of all, she’s starting using adhd terms and symptom names when talking to me about my current struggles as a way to understand what i’m going through. i’m so so proud of her and so honored to know that she’s growing because of me & doing so in order to help me- she really is the best mom in the world, and sometimes i take her for granted. but i’m so grateful to have a mom who wants to genuinely understand her daughter to this high of a degree; who wants to help me in any way she can, who has taken it upon her to educate herself and my dad and everyone close to us so that i’m not as misunderstood and lost as i was in my childhood. i’m proud because thanks to my mom’s efforts to understand me, adhd no longer estranges me from my family- now it’s something that connects us.

if you’re reading this, i love you mom!

[messymonologues]

yeah this is about right

Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals

[messymonologues]

also i am so sorry if there are ads on my blog!!! i cannot control them since i am broke and tumblr will only remove the ads if i let them eat my money :(

[messymonologues]

so…

i finished my first year of college. kind of. still recovering and all that, but expect some pretty darn long posts in the not-far-off future. <3

[messymonologues]

damn i really gotta grind out more work again this weekend… why is college so hard 😔

[messymonologues]

tomorrow will be the day i grind. it will be my catch-up day, my task-tackling day, my get-all-this-shit-done-finally day… whatever u wanna call it, i will do work tomorrow!!!! -> pls beat me up if i don’t hehe i need to pull myself together lmao bc a homegirl is running out of time 🤠

[messymonologues]

happy 1/3 of a year bday to this blog!!! i can’t believe how far it’s come in such a short time… i also can’t believe i’ve managed to stick with the same creative project for four months now! thanks to everyone💕