miserable-but-visceral - Tumblr blog

[miserable-but-visceral]

why can't I be small. Why do I have to act as the oldest child in the house. I want to be babied. I want to be cared for. I don't want to watch my parents fallapart. I dont want to have to help. I want to be small and ignorant and safe. I hate knowing how much growing up sucks.

[miserable-but-visceral]

Damn. Tim (host) is all out of words and his rambles are really funny. Word strings. That's such a good name for sentences man, I love it! Totally a band name. He's really stubborn so wish me luck putting him (us?) To bed

-Frank (🧷)

[miserable-but-visceral]

No word! Typing hard and I am angry that not working!!! Brain all not working and I angry that not enough sentence! Need help to even write this because upset, but all inside upset not out upset because not okay parents need to sleep so not loud, have to be quiet. They not understand and not listen when talk, big argue and big cry and say love but still not listen to my word when talking, just say they scared because religion even though that religion hurt me. I scared for us and for trans and be scared for it hard but I scared for all. I need help to make the words make sense!! Probably fix tomorrow so make sense. I tired. I need go sleep but bad dreams hard to not want to

Tired and wish had good lot wordd so make sense easy and be understand I sad not have it

Can spell but not fucking talk! Angry! Angry at me! I better than this! I think better! Why not think right now!! What argue do to make me all [gestures vaguely] fucked! Word all fucked up! Need word back! Angry!

[miserable-but-visceral]

ive connected the two dots (you didnt connect shit) ive connected them.

[miserable-but-visceral]

oh okay

[miserable-but-visceral]

tired! No more potty! Want sleep

[miserable-but-visceral]

Can't handle being big. Being little is too overwhelming. So many feelings all at once. I'm tired

[miserable-but-visceral]

doing a little better pottying but it's still hard :( wish there was a space to talk about it. J is still quite scared of it and we just got off our period as well, hope it gets a little easier.

[miserable-but-visceral]

Being traumatized and having trouble toileting because of sexual/developmental trauma sucks because there isn't a space here to talk about it. Nobody wants to hear that we have accidents and are too ashamed and scared to ask for help. It's a huge taboo and everyone wants nothing to do with diapers and talking about going potty and we have a hard time with it and there's no support for us or people and systems like us :(