mlmmetalhead

[mlmmetalhead]

Was feeling overwhelmed by the amount of requests in my inbox and then just went like “wait…. I don’t have to write all of them lmao 😭😭”

[mlmmetalhead]

This + when people use “transman reader” as a way to just say “boy with a vagina”. Like bro I’m a stone top, at least give me a strap or something. Or better yet, just use the damn terms top/bottom dom/sub CORRECTLY!!!!!! If mentioning genitalia is sooo hard for you, just use vague terms that can go either way

the date everything community really fucking hates people with/who want bottom surgery and intersex people, huh?

stop using afab/amab. they are not substitutes for vagina/penis and to imply so is transphobic.

yes, even if the writer is/ you are also trans.

a trans man who has bottom surgery is excluded in fics labelled "afab" as they dont have a vagina, and are excluded from "amab" scenarios because they are not male at birth. he either has to pretend he does not have bottom surgery to fit expectations of what his birth sex expects (transphobic) or to erase his transness for the same reasons (transphobic). the inverse naturally applies to trans women, and similar logic also applies to folks outside the gender binary.

and the logic of both can apply to intersex people, as well as enforcing the agenda of assigned sex, which can be, at best, inaccurate and at worse, forced.

just say what genitals the reader has. its not hard.

yes im aware this is an issue... everywhere, really, but the de fandom uses it so much more than any other community ive been in. stop. its not *every* fic or *every* writer and ily if you dont do it mwah mwah <3 but its enough for ppl to notice

[mlmmetalhead]

Did this whole shabang for my friends while explaining to them there’s nothing for us on ao3, might as well complain here.

DONT SEARCH AND HARASS THE WRITERS OF THESE, at worst they’re just tagging their stuff improperly, i have no actual problem with their writing, just with the tags at most

[mlmmetalhead]

Dude, ever since you dropped your Luke Nukem headcanons I have not been the same, I think of them at least once an hour. It was genuinely so prefect.

I feel like a neuron just got activated in my tiny brain.

That’s it, I just wanted to appreciate your work ❤️

HAHSHAKFKD THANK YOUYYY. I doubt it’s every hour of the day, but crazy nonetheless. I’m glad it’s so!! It’s the highest praise to an author if their work made someone into the character/into something new in general

[mlmmetalhead]

sooo, uh, not an ask. but i can't help but send my appreciation for your spicy dorian crackfic, i've read it an embarrassing amount of times. so i had to say thank you for feeding the mlm side of the date everything fandom. i hope you and your big brain the best ✨️✨️

hahah thank you!! it honestly means a lot when there’s just asks in my inbox like this, it’s like a stimuli for writing more. I am glad to be feeding the DE mlm community, and will continue that mission🙏🙏

[mlmmetalhead]

Ahhhh I love your male x readers! Can I get Parker Bradley x male reader headcanons? Fluff and smut of a male (he/him with bio male genitals) of someone who is his opposite?☺️

(Dark clothes hair ect kinda like the sun and moon)

Date Everything Parker x Male Reader who’s his Complete Opposite

Summary: It’s exactly what it says on the label

Warnings: Regular: Reader is specifically mentioned to be male, with the pronouns he/him and term “boyfriend” being used for him. Parker being Parker. Mentions of biting and little to no personal space for the reader (Parker is VERY physically affectionate). Reader is mentioned to not be much of a talker. NSFW: Top!Reader and Bottom!Parker. I know that the request specifically asked for AMAB/bio-male anatomy but my writing style for headcanons didn’t really allow any flow for that, sorry :(. But it is very heavily implied that Parker is the one getting penetrated though. Board game based sexual innuendos. References to other dateables (Hector, Ben Hwa, Betty).

Author’s Snip: I’m always happy to write for male readers of any kind so don’t be shy boys. I got you and will try my best to make something for you. Might not be too good if you don’t specifically since I’m an AFAB nonbinary. But I’ll do my best so long as you throw me a bone <3 I’ll also gladly write for the lovely MTF trans girlies too. Don’t by shy either ladies.

Notes: I really spread my Bottom!Parker propaganda it’s about to be Steven Grant all over again.

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

Regular

I don’t really think Parker minds too much on the fact that you’re his complete opposite so long as you’re still down to play board games with him and aren’t a dirty cheater. He just likes that you’re willing to keep up and play with him and win your way to his heart fair and square

Someone described him as a puppyboy and like… yeah that’s basically how your relationship works on his end. He follows you around EVERYWHERE in the house (both pre and post realization) once you start dating and practically hangs on your arm all the time

In the same post someone also mentioned that the dateables also probably don’t have any true sense of sexuality inside of themselves, so Parker doesn’t really give too much mind on the fact that you’re both dudes because that literally makes no difference at all in your relationship

Gender and sexuality is a human thing, why would a pile of board games give a shit??

Sun and Moon you truly are though because you really couldn’t be more different from each other. Parker wears all sorts of colors both in his dateable form and post-realization. He looks like a rainbow rubbed up on him like a giant cat and the color rubbed off on him. And then there’s you, who you honestly don’t think you have anything that’s remotely colorful or on the lighter side.

His natural resting face is a smile and bright eyes while you have the most strongest resting b face, if looks could kill you’d be guilty of a lot of unintentional deaths because your face is just… like that. People are actually scared to talk to you sometimes because of how scary you look. Meanwhile Parker is there holding onto your arm like “This is my boyfriend! They’re great! Right, babe? :D”

It’s insane, truly a marvel

Parker is very VERY touchy and social, with honesty just about anyone, meanwhile you’re very quiet and don’t really do much physical interaction with anyone unless absolutely necessary, with your only exception being Parker who is always talking back and forth with you and doing things like holding your hand or arm and hugging you

Also, using “back and forth” when referring to you two talking to each other is generous because Parker does most of the talking and you just nod along and go “Yeah?” “Uh-huh” every now and again

He’s used to it though, he will actually do most of the socializing for the both of you

Whenever someone is trying to get you to talk to them then Parker’s there like “Oh, he doesn’t talk much.”

The other dateables have no clue how Parker “can’t-go-five-seconds-without-talking-his-head-off” Bradley managed to bag you, but they congratulate him on the pull

I hope you like biting… because you know… he does that canonically. It’s definitely a cuteness/affection aggression thing. It’s just this impulse that he can’t resist. I wanna say it’s not like “drawing blood” hard where he breaks skin but if he’s a puppyboy then you’re his chew toy because he’ll just gnaw on you and leave a few marks. And you have honestly just accepted your fate

Like don’t be surprised if you’re calculating your next move while playing a game, sitting next to him, or cuddling and he just starts gnawing on your neck/shoulder/arm

If he’s biting too hard you can also just move your arm/gently push him away and he will understand without you saying a single word and go “Sorry” and then start biting more gently on a different spot or just straight up stop

LOVES cuddling by the way. You have not known the meaning of personal space since you started dating Parker because your personal bubble has become YOUR (plural) personal bubble. Like I said, you just have to accept it, dude. You picked Parker for crying out loud

You come in a pair now. Where one is, the other is also there or close by unless it’s work or something that requires you to be separate

If you have tattoos like him, especially a sleeve like him, but like… your version, Parker likes to trace them. He’ll take your arm and just start tracing his fingertips on them and look at them. If you haven’t already explained them to him, he’ll be asking all about them. And yes he has favorites.

And if you keep adding to it and get him one that matches one of his, then he’s over the moon and bouncing around with joy

Anyways, going back to him being touchy, always wanting to be near you, and inviting himself into your personal space. He likes to sit on your lap and other stuff like that, like straddling you while your sat down at your desk chair or something. It’s not even sexual. He will just do that because it lets him be close to you

Again. Normally you would never do anything like this but Parker is just able to weasel his way into being able to

“You’re lucky you’re so cute.” Is something you say often whenever he does something that SHOULD cross your boundaries but doesn’t as a way to tease him, and it makes him giggle every time because he so totally knows

It’s like a dog that’s not allowed on the couch fully knowing that it’s not allowed but does it anyways

Same goes for sleeping. It’s like cuddling with an octopus

You dong even stop him anymore, you just adjust yourself so he can get in there

“My boyfriend” is also something you hear from Parker a lot too when he’s talking about you. He says it with such pride. “My boyfriend’s great at this.” “Oh, my boyfriend really likes that!” “My boyfriend this” “My boyfriend that”

You love him though. You’d gladly meet the expectations everyone has about you being able to kick their ass if anyone made him upset or sad

“He said no pickles” type shit <3

And Parker’s behind you like “Yeah! You tell em’ >:(”

NSFW (feel free to leave if you want)

Brat

What?! Who said that?!

Me 👉😌 I said that

I will be taking no criticism because I’m right and you guys know that I am. Don’t even start. Argue with Wallace, bitch

Okay he’s not intentionally a brat most of the time, if anything you guys just kind of fell into that dynamic

But he can be!

Especially if you wipe the floor with him in any games you play together since he likes winning so much. Like yes, he respects the game and understands that you won fair and square, and sportsmanship. But he can get all pouty and gain an attitude afterwards if he was so dead set on winning.

He’ll be like “Yeah. You were good.” all nonchalant and uninterested when you know he is normally so excited and will go on for a bit about how great your gameplay was

He might even subtly accuse you of cheating/rigging the game in your favor

“You did shuffle the cards a lot though.”

At a certain point you had enough of it and cornered him while you set him straight. “Hey! You know, I play fair just like you like it. I don’t do that and you know it. So quit being a sore loser and maybe I’ll let you win next time.”

Parker fixed his attitude very quickly after that but he was there like

He actually kind of had to leave for a minute to… take care of some stuff before coming back acting like his usual self

But that was sitting inside of him for a while after that wondering “How do I do that again but get him to just NAIL me?”

He was so awkward about it after a while too. He was not subtle about the fact that he had something on his mind

He tries playing it off and acting like he didn’t know what you were talking about until you started being more firm and he folded like a game board and spits it out really fast

“Okay fine! Last-week-when-you-cornered-me-and-called-me-a-sore-loser-after-you-beat-me-on-game-night-I-got-really-turned-on-and-really-wanted-you-to-do-something-about-it-and-I’ve-been-thinking-about-it-for-days-now!”

Once you register what he’s said you just nod and are like okay we’ll figure out some rules for that and left at that

And my GOD has Parker been so happy since you guys established rules for how the dynamic will work

Side bar: I do feel like sex in general was a bit of journey in terms of introducing it to the relationship because Parker doesn’t really think about sex too much

Like he definitely flirts and does all that but like, that’s not to get in your pants. He just thinks your having regular couple’s banter and the whole lap sitting stuff is just him wants to be close. Like it doesn’t click in his sweet little head that like “Oh yeah. That could actually be a sexual thing.”

You definitely have a talk where you explain boundaries and all that to make sure you don’t accidentally give each other mixed signals, how to initiate, how regular foreplay would work for the both of you. But I don’t actually think Parker is as horny as a lot of other dateables are

You’ve learned to read each other well to know what you’re doing something with the intent of just doing it/affectionately and when it’s a way to butter the other up for some twister in bed if you know what I’m saying

Okay now back to you brat taming that twink

This is gonna be like me announcing that forks can be found in the kitchen, it’s a no fucking brainer, but the board games are definitely a huge part of the foreplay for it

You guys start playing something, he starts getting an attitude and being bratty, you push his buttons, he pushes yours, you subtly let him know you’re down and he continues, you guys play a few more rounds where you beat him some more, he gets more bratty, and then you decide to “do something about it” and proceed to play scrabble with his insides

Don’t worry, he can take it. He’s durable and wanted this

You can rough him up a little bit (maybe not too rough, but you can definitely manhandle him a bit, as a treat)

But you actually have to win at the games as part of the foreplay, he won’t give it to you that easily. You need to give him something to actually pout over

You fuck him into the middle of next Tuesday when it’s like this though. He can’t get enough of it

He can’t get enough of it in general when you get him going, even outside of the brat taming stuff. You would think that if you fucked him it would get him to shut the hell up but you’d be dead wrong. He just keeps yapping. Except now he’s begging for you to do all sorts of shit to him. “Slap me, pull my hair, touch me there, and there, and there.” sorts of stuff (real ones know that reference)

At least he’s vocal and lets you know what he likes and doesn’t like as you’re going, it’s actually really helpful and also sort of works like a rules game for you

“Harder, right there, not there, faster, slower, no not there”

And if you know him well enough you even know when he’s throwing a red herring “rule” at you

It’s not always rough hard though. He does like more soft and intimate stuff too. He’s a blushing mess the whole time whenever it is. He tries hiding his burning red face and you have to coax him out of it. It’s cute.

He is LOUD though. The whole damn house knows you two are having sex. Everyone’s cool about it but god damn at this rate Ben Hwa is subtly suggesting adding a gag to your sexcapades. Some of these dateables are trying to fucking sleep

At this point Hector’s moving to the furthest vent in the house just to get some peace and quiet (that’s a fucking lie his voyeur ass is so watching and wishing that it was him and we all know it)

So yeah if you can’t tell I am a firm believer in bottom!Parker <3

You get some really good sounds out of him though and they sound even cuter when he’s burying his face in the pillows and sheets

He’s not too picky about positions. He’s down to experiment. I wouldn’t say he’s super flexible but you could definitely bend and fold him into certain positions if it’s called for

The biting makes a come back and now with its additional companion, scratching!

If you’re doing missionary style or something like that where you’re face to face and he can bite something then he will. Usually your shoulders and neck. You can bite him too. You always could. Matter of fact it gets him going even more to feel you bite into him while you’re having at him

Same goes for scratching too. He will wrap his arms around your neck and or grip your shoulders, so naturally his nails end up scratching along your back

He blushes the morning after when the bites you left on each other show up as bruises and the mark of his nails are still visible on your back

Aftercare is a must to Parker. It’s part of the ‘game’ for him so you HAVE to do it. Regardless of who topped or bottomed. Like of course you do stuff to help him recover, but he’ll also make sure you’re okay too because he knows that topping can be as intense as bottoming. So don’t try and tell him you’re fine with not doing anything for yourself because he won’t have it

Like I said, Parker does all the talking for you, even if it’s through a Parker-shaped crater in the bed (Sorry Betty)

[mlmmetalhead]

NEEED the Hanks overstimulated and crying with a dom homeowner. Hank three is all bark until the MC takes him up on his flirtations amd rails him into next week. I want the other Hanks watching as Hank three is crying and begging for something (he’s not sure if he wants a break or for the MC to keep going until he comes a second time in a row) while the other Hanks have a ‘no touching’ rule. Themselves or each other.

Hank one is doing the best holding himself back but the show in front of him is still so much he’s biting his lip so hard it may bleed. He’s also distracting himself with words of encouragement and praise for Hank three, teasing every now and then that he must think he’s dreaming since this is like one of his fantasies come to life.

Hank two doesn’t touch himself either but he’s big into voices and Hank three is just making such crazy sounds and pleas on the MC’s cock that he may or may not come his pants in the most whiney way possible. But he didn’t touch so he still did a good job following orders! And honestly very impressive coming from just a show. The MC will praise him for that later much to his embarrassment.

Hank five is fighting for his life. He can deal with not touching himself but the need to reach out and caress Hank three’s face, or reach over the other Hanks and push them over the edge with helpful hands- its all just so temping. He makes it through though, but is whimpering every time one of the other Hank’s looks especially desperate.

Hank four… Hank four does not survive this. He really didnt mean to, Hank three was just looking so good and MC was so commanding that his instincts kicked in after he zones into only focusing on the two of them. His hand was between his legs before he realized and suddenly Hank three was being set down gently and all attention turned to Hank four.

Poor himbo pleaded for his life and rambled out so many apologies but he broke the rule. Now the rule is called off for all the others and Hank four is forced to watch as all his partners get to be rewarded and come and he has his hands secured behind his back. He looks so sad and sorry that at the end I’m sure he’ll be allowed to finish. The MC cant truly punish any of the hanks since they’re all too genuine and cute making up for their disobedience when it happens.

Aftercare my beloveddd!!! The hanks form a cuddle puddle with the MC and Hank three in the middle. Hank three gets extra kisses and massages since he took the brunt of the activities, and he is in heaven.

[mlmmetalhead]

Can you do Luke or Dante date everything headcanons? I really liked your Tony ones!!

i did luke because he’s my favourite out of the two and one of my favs ever,,, luv that guy also im a radiation nerd and you can kind of see that

luke nukem x m. reader hcs || NSFW UNDER THE CUT MINORS DNI || contains just a little scent stuff towards the end

he probably added to the whole nuclear fallout survival rp specifically to impress you. like, he had a preconceived idea beforehand, but as you enthusiastically went along with it, luke couldn’t help but build onto it with more grandiose details just to see adoration or something close on your face.

i hope you know in this relationship, whatever your name is, doesn’t actually matter anymore. you’re ranger, it’s a term of endearment and a replacement for your name the same.

he is a very passionate and… verbal lover. in terms of, you will never ever hear the end of i if luke has anything at all on his mind. whether it’s just how big your arms are, or how much he’d love living with you in a wasteland shelter and how domestic you would be, he’d cook for you and when you’re both back from scavenging, after throwing away the clothes you went outside in forever, he would scrub your back in the shower.

luke also loved physical intimacy, surprisingly or not. he puts his guard up, but when he relaxes around you, he’s so so so clingy. if you carry any foods on you that can melt, you NEED to remember to put them out before hanging out with Luke, because he’ll melt it in your clothes.

I also headcanon that he adores birds and all kinds of little critters, and when he learns that microwave waves can disrupt bird’s navigation, it breaks his heart and he asks you to not use him for some time until he processes.

on that note, you have to get used to your lover having a different working brain, and this includes Luke getting randomly upset or happy about some small or unexpected things. he probably also begged you to grow plants inside of him if you ever let him stumble across those NASA research. You bring up what implications would that have for his anatomy. He doesn’t bring up the plants after that.

If you’re an athletic type (or at least mildly), he loves loves looooves seeing you all sweaty after a workout, even better if there are any visible effects on your body over time, he can’t help but get excited about his handsome ranger’s limbs.

so, if you’re even mildly sweaty after some exercise, expect for Luke to be all over you placing gentle (or not so much) kisses all over whatever part of your body you were exercising.

if you’ll let him take it further, Luke will absolutely adore worshipping your limbs, he could go for hours on end, even without taking you in his mouth of grinding himself against your shoes or anything.

what are the health implications of sticking your dick into a microwave? well, hopefully it’s nothing deadly because you did it, a lot. and your microwave and yourself liked it.

we know his sensitive spot is in his cavity, but I don’t think Luke would make you fuck him there, because there’s not really… a way it could be done, at least without serious injury risk.

BUT if you would reach into his cavity while fucking him, it’s almost a 100% guarantee of getting your boyfriend to cum almost instantly. and very deliciously, too, his usually low voice raising to a barely perceived squeak as he clings onto you with shut eyes.

super vocal during sex, doesn’t even matter what position he’s in, or even if he has your hand or your cock down his throat, he will still blabber and moan and drool all over you. if his mouth is open, you’ll never hear the end of it.

“ranger! you’re doing so good, ranger! you feel sooo— go- eek! good!”; “don’t go easy on me, ranger… you know I like those limbs rough.”

please please please command him and tell him what to do, this gets him off almost as fast as you reaching in his cavity. you sternly order Luke to get on his knees? he’s there in a zeptosecond, hands along his sides. you tell him to take his clothes off? they were never on.

if you call him a good soldier afterwards, immediately nuts in his pants if they were on. Luke can’t hold back how much your praise means to him and gets him going even in a non sexual context, so be careful with where you use it.

a little bit of an embarrassing kink for him, but he gets off at your smell, specifically the smell of your sweat, that’s why the scenario of being in a sleeping back naked together is so appealing to Luke. he wants… no, needs to get a whiff. if you’re okay with that, however, he will probably be buried in your armpit for some time every day like clockwork.

he’s not really one for quickies, although sometimes it has to be like that on the account of him being so insanely turned on by his sexy boyfriend ranger, and finishing earlier. that’s just what isolation does to a man, not his fault the only person who’s willing to touch him in so long is so devastatingly hot.

[mlmmetalhead]

So I have a question! Which date everything characters do you write for?

Plus do you only write smut or can I request something fluff? :)

Hi! So my list of characters I write for is here, and ofc you can request fluff! I have already written some non sexual stuff myself so feel free!

[mlmmetalhead]

Guys I need more Parker mlm smut…. I love all content of him but sometimes I just need to pin to the floor and fuck those boardgames

[mlmmetalhead]

hooolyyy pslspslpsls I need that emo twink to TIE ME UP AND RIDE ME AND EDGE ME AUGHHH palpslspslpss Shadowlord skips I need him nghahhh pspsspslslslsplss it’s hard out there for Shadowlord fans

RIDE INTO THE NIGHT || skips shadley x m. reader || contains: rough sex, light bondage, edging. || MINORS DNI!!

The lights in your bedroom hadn’t come on the entire day, or… night. You couldn’t really tell on the account of not seeing what was happening outside, and also on the account of a silk piece of cloth tying your hands to a bedpost being rather distracting.

You felt the cold, smaller hands of your boyfriend on your chest as he let out filthy and adorable at the same time sounds above you, hips rolling away, as if he wasn’t doing this for hours at this point. Skips bit down on his lip delectably, even though his shawody hair would normally obstruct his face, you were lucky enough for them to not obey by rules of physics, leaving his blesses out expressions out in the open for you to ogle at.

And was it a sight to behold. Chewed on, almost reddish if not for his devoid of color skin tone, lips trapped between his bottom and upper teeth, glistening ever so slightly as noises of pleasure escapes Skips’ chest.

“Are you close again, Penumbra?”

His voice now rendered tired, although he really tried to put in more malice and teasing into it, going at it this long would tire anyone out, even the Shadowlord himself. You moan something barely coherent in response as you feel your boyfriend’s hips slowing down, dragging his movements, leaving your cock inside him almost motionless.

“Not yet, babe…”

Skips chuckled as he came to a stop completely, throwing his head back to catch his breath. That look on him made you so hungry, wanting to grab his sides and just move him up and down on you like a fleshlight, like you did already a few times, knowing Skips would moan and whine absolutely deliciously. The thought itself sent a painful shiver through your cock, Skips obviously feeling the twitching inside him as he grinned.

He trailed his hand teasingly from your chest and to your face, a cold finger sliding across your bottom lip ever so slowly, the action sending your heart straight to your throat. You open your mouth and let the emo boy on top of you slide a finger into your mouth and massage the hot muscle of your tongue. Skips pressed his lips together, his own long abandoned cock twitching at the sensation.

“Fuck, Penumbra…” Skips moaned, his eyes rolling back a little as you enclosed your mouth around the finger, your heat spreading, undoubtedly, to your dick as well as your boyfriend felt you warming up inside him.

At that, with his head thrown back, Skips begins moving his hips again, squeezing down on your hardness inside him, his movements more desperate and erratic that they weren’t before. You didn’t stop there, your tongue playing with Skips’ finger inside your mouth, wanting to just get your boyfriend over the edge, and by definition, yourself as well.

At a particular ministration of yours, Skips let out a high-pitched, deafening moan, the sound of skin permeating through the room, until one, two… and his dick twitched, before letting out ropes of white spent on your chest.

His insides squeezing down on you as he orgasmed, deliciously pressing you down in all the right places paired with the fucked out look on Skips’ face, you couldn’t keep it together anymore as you finished almost immediately after your boyfriend, hearing him whine as you came inside of him.

Skips lay on your side for a second, not even bother to pull you out of himself as he just caught his breath.

“Mmmm, penumbra…” he mumbled sleepily, before pulling up to give you a sweet kiss on the mouth, “what… time is it?”

“No clue.” You mumbled as you shuffled out of your restraints. That put a look of immediate surprise on your boyfriend’s face.

“Wait but… you said the restraints were tight enough.”

You shrugged at the sentence, following it up as you fell down on the bed and pressed Skips to yourself again.

“I lied. You’re terrible at knots.”

[mlmmetalhead]

Could you do Parker being supportive and affirming a transman/transmasc reader in his masculinity and stuff? Especially cause the moment in sandycastle makes me think of that. Thank you if yes!!1

You weren't thinking when you said to strip for the game of Sandyland..

You noticed how nervous he seemed, tripping over his words and seemingly trying to stall.. but yet he listened to you.

He shrugged off his Connect 4 vest, before he lifted his tank top up. His smooth skin slowly revealed to you, and your breath caught in your throat.

You paused, seemingly stalling for taking your own shirt off. An uncomfortable feeling bubbled in your stomach. Parker didn't know..

"Hey! You said we had to strip, and you're breaking your own rule!"

The way you looked at him, anxiety and dread filling your eyes.

".. Hey. You.. okay?"

You weren't really sure how to tell him. How would he even react? Would he understand? Would he look at you with disgust? His opinion meant so much to you, and you were terrified of ruining this with him. You were making great progress with him.. and you were scared of telling him the one thing that made up your entire identity..

So.. you told him. You did your best to keep it together, slightly stuttering through your words and perhaps even overexplaining some things.

After you were done, he stayed quiet. At first, you assumed the worst. Then he got a wide smile on his face.

"You know what?? Hell yeah! That's so cool! No wonder you seemed so much more comfortable and sure of yourself! That's cool as fuck!"

You almost cried from how he looked at you. Like you were the greatest thing to him.

"Oh, shit, have I been calling you by the wrong name? Oh fuck, I'm sorry. Okay, okay- We'll start over, okay? My name's Parker, what's your name, my man?"

It's up to you whether or not you took your shirt off. At the end of the day, you're you, and that's always enough. <3

[mlmmetalhead]

Hate opening the DE x male reader tag and it’s just me myself and I. Like if I wanted to read my own thing I’d just close my eyes and remember what I wrote

[mlmmetalhead]

This is crazy huh hello

[mlmmetalhead]

A/n; Ik I have a bunch of requests to do and I promise I’m working on them, it’s just today I had a very crazy and shitty day and just made this to make myself feel a bit better. This is purely self indulgent, to the point the reader insert is basically just myself. Added the fact that reader has non descriptive anger issues, but my specific…brand(?) comes from cptsd and autism, so if the way they’re described is not relatable, I apologise!

LOUD || realized!parker bradley x m. reader with anger issues.

God, you hated airports. The act of flying itself is perfectly fine, but the whole system of having to shed all of your accessories in a very loud and obnoxiously bright environment, only to put them back on in about a minute, all while everything else is rushing, pushing, yelling at you to go to the correct gate!!! Go into the correct line! Don’t forget to buy our foul smelling perfume from an insanely overpriced duty free store while you’re at it!

Only redeeming part of the whole ordeal was why you made the trip. To see your boyfriend, of course. Although his brightly coloured hair and similarly bright clothes and, let’s be honest, attitude were very on par with the trials and tribulations of everything you hated, his loudness and brightness bore more of a familiarity. It helped you a bit more, as Parker hugged you tightly with a giggle, pressing his nose to yours.

“My boyfriend! I missed you so much, boyfriend!” He basically yelled for the whole airport to hear, the loud voice making something in your jaws tense, but overwhelmingly brought a smile onto your face.

“I missed you too, baby..” you mumbled tiredly, head turned to the conveyor belt with luggage lazily rattling around on the old and for some reason, soggy black leather flaps.

While you waited, Parker’s hands all over your shoulders and hands, your boyfriend wouldn’t stop yapping your ear off. “Yeah, so we went back to that tabletop cafe where we got kicked out from last time <…> and then I’m like “I wanna get a dog” and he’s like “no way man we’re already sharing this tiny apartment” <…> and they were mad at me because I said spin the bottle wasn’t a real game…” and you loved him. You really did, so, so much. Be it a minute later, one degree higher, you would love listening to anything and everything he says with all of your care and attention, the fact that the number of people was dwindling, and you’re yet to see your luggage made your heart gradually sink.

“Babe.”

“Wazzat?” Parker immediately perked up, as if your words tore him away from his daydreaming clouds.

You sighed heavily, as the conveyor belt came to a stop, the worst feeling sinking in your stomach.

“They lost my fucking luggage.” You groaned, frustrated more than anything, your teeth clenching as you looked at employees standing around, around the same age as you and Parker, carelessly chatting while not even doing ANYTHING about—

“Ohh, screw those idiots!” Parker immediately became angry on your behalf, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “You work at an airport, that’s like your whole job…”

When you two ended up at the lost and found office, it took the person behind the counter a double take to confirm it was you in your id, the way your face was riddled with tiredness and annoyance. They handed you a pen that barely worked to scribble a long statement, as if this was a court case, with your details and address, it’s a miracle they didn’t ask for your STD history. The light above you buzzed, the person behind the counter talking loudly on the phone, the footsteps of those above you echoed in your head as if every single person in the building personally decided to do everything to piss you off more.

And in the middle of all of this, your sweet, beloved Parker would not shut. The fuck. Up.

“That’s what happens when you don’t pay your workers though, they have no incentive to work to their fullest, if they’re only getting paid to carry them to their next month. That’s fucked up, like the director of the airport didn’t even do anything, but he gets all the profit? <…> but for the time being, you can wear my clothes! So we can be real boyfriend-boyfriend, like in the movies—“

“Parker.”

Your voice came out way harsher than you intended it to, the barely working pen clenched in your hand like a lifeline, lips trembling from tension ever so slightly, your jaw tense as you basically barked at your boyfriend.

Parker immediately sulked down, putting his hands along the length of his body like in the military, looking away from you as he squeaked: “Sorry.”

This reaction immediately made you even more mad, groaning as you buried your hands in your face and dragging your nails down it. Oh my god, not this too, now he’s also sad and you didn’t even leave this airport, and it has been two hours, and OH GOD why can’t everyone just stay still for a second to let you think over everything you did, rewind it a bit and do it all over again???

You turned around, done with filling out your paperwork as you wrapped your hands around Parker’s waist, the way his body stiffened making you feel a million times worse about yourself.

“Baby…” you murmured, kissing Parker’s lips just briefly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m not mad at you. Can you just…”

You sucked in a breath. Why was this so difficult to say?

“Give me a minute while I’m finished, alright? Sorry I blew up, you didn’t do anything.”

Parker’s face brightened up at the kiss as he pressed his hands against your chest, his previous smile back on his beautiful face, a little more soft this time.

“Yes, sorry. Rules say not to talk boyfriend’s ear off while he’s doing something… I cheated.” He pressed another peck on your lips, eyes adoring as he looked at you. “We restart the game, alright? When you’re finished. From like, square one.”

You couldn’t help but squeeze him tighter at that, nodding with a simple: “that would be preferable.” before returning to turn in your statement and request.

When you walk out from the lost and found office, a pair of hands immediately wrap around you with excitement as you hear a familiar squeak full of joy;

“My boyfriend! I missed you so much, boyfriend!”

[mlmmetalhead]

Do you guys see my vision…..

Their ship name is “you’re trash at this game”….

[mlmmetalhead]

heh but like, hear me out, you bang dorian like how people slam doors shut

this is sarcastic but HAHAJKFKDK COULD YOU IMAGINE? HSJDJD 😭😭😭 not a req but if you wanna turn this into one idm

I’ll think of a name later (he said while never deciding on a name)

divider by pixelprism on rentry

NSFW MINORS DNI || Dorian x m.reader || kind of crackfic but honestly with this game everything is a crackfic

Another sharp noise echoed through the house as Dorian creaked and groaned. You’ve had your moments of anger or frustration, where the only physical thing you could do to make a statement or release your frustration was to bang your door against the frame.

Well, with the dateviators and the whole new way you lived your life now, this got a more… literal sense.

Dorian hissed as your hands clawed on his hips, making the man desperately cling onto the doorframe, his forehead pressed against the cold wall as he panted heavily, one of the man’s hand being used to stabilise himself, while the other one clawed at your hair.

“Easy there, luv…”

The man groaned again, as you repeatedly plunged into him, the noise of your hips meeting his being loud enough to be heard by the whole house. Dorian’s little notes didn’t seem to bear much fruit, because you continued on with the rash, erratic movements of your hips as your cock continued to drive further into Dorian.

“Bollocks…”

You heard your door groan again, with a little more of a moan underneath it. Normally, you’d be a little more easygoing and talkative during the act, but right now, you were too pissed off to care to be honest. You don’t even remember what has got you so mad, possibly the influence of how good Dorian felt. All that you know now is that the whole house can hear you at this point, and you don’t give enough fucks to stop.

You hear a raspy moan coming from the man in front of you as you hit a particularly sensitive spot. He curses under his breath, that husky voice making you even more eager to drive Dorian mad. So of course, you do just that, relishing in the squishy wet noises Dorian’s hole made as you fucked into him harder and faster.

“Mmmgh…”

Was the feedback to your actions, which only encouraged you to go on with your ministrations, your hand now coming up to grope some more of Dorian’s— no doubt— impressive figure. To feel it flexing and throbbing underneath his skin, knowing that you were the reason for it…

Something about that pushed you over the edge as you spilled into Dorian with a groan. The man in front of you moaned once more, his legs shaking a little, yet he didn’t let go of the doorframe, even if he clung onto it harder. You sighed a relieved sigh as you pulled out, some of your cum immediately dripping down Dorian’s leg.

“Sorry I took it out on you again, honey…” you murmur, searching his lips for an apologetic kiss.

Dorian met you with a tired smile and cloudy eyes, meeting your lips before talking into the kiss: “My pleasure.”