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modern-day-bard · 2 months

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thank you, @yxtkiwiyxt 🥹🫶🏻

Just Call me Kiwi's Fic Rec List

Someone asked me about my favorite stories / authors recently so here's my list. I'm going to put down an author, and my favorite story/series of theirs and a word or sentence to describe how their story made me feel. However, they probably have a story with another character that I loved as well. Go read their stuff peeps. The more I read their stuff, the more it drove me to start writing my own stories.

Some authors don't realize their work matters to someone! I've been lurking on Ao3 since May of 2023 and joined Tumblr in October of 2023. Here is my small token of appreciation post. I'm excited to re-read these stories and read more stories from these awesome writers in the future! I probably forgot some people and I'll continue to grow this list as I go...

*I apologize in advance for how many Joel recs I have. That man can GET IT.

Marcus Pike

More than Mistetoe by @wardenparker - this Marcus makes me feel like I'm swooning.

I've Got a Crush on You by @5oh5 - this Marcus makes me feel captivated.

Read you like a Book by@the-ginger-hedge-witch - This Marcus makes me feel beautiful. OFC character but you bet your ass I envisioned my name being murmured the entire time...

Common Grounds by @whataperfectwasteoftime - This Marcus makes me feel wanted. Also, All the Time in the World made me feel so seen.

I'll Crawl Home to Her by @thetriumphantpanda - this Marcus made me want to stay in the bubble the was created for me.

Long Distance by @ladamedemartel - this Marcus made me want to have a FaceTime call soon... also she has a Ben story , it's doing things to me...

Headshot Series by @secretelephanttattoo - this Marcus made me drink to water consistently with his innocent but spicy vibes.

Frankie Morales

Birthday Cake by @morallyinept- this Frankie makes me feel aroused.

Bluffing Season by @beskarandblasters - this Frankie makes me want to have a neighbor that annoys me so that we can... you know.

Turbulence Series by @rhoorl - this Frankie makes me want to call him Francisco in and outside the bedroom...

I Like The Way you Are Series by @undercoverpena - This Frankie kills me. I am deceased.

More than Words by @foli-vora - this Frankie made me feel stimulated THE ENTIRE TIME. Scrumptious version of Frankie!

Weeknights by @frannyzooey - this Frankie made me feel... let's get real YOU KNOW HOW IT MADE ME FEEL.

Home by @burntheedges - this Frankie made me feel so loved and like he understood how to get rid of my anxiety.

Hold my Hand by @pedroscurls - this Frankie made me feel grounded and like everything was going to be okay.

El Chico Del Apt 512. by @castleamc - this Frankie makes me feel frantic.

Thirds by @haylzcyon - this Frankie makes me feel needy, oh my dear lord.

Riddles Short Series by @wayfaringhoax - this Frankie makes me feel weak, enough said.

Something Else Series by @pedrostylez- this Franke made me fall in love with the character of Frankie.

Javier Peña

Reporting for Duty by @katiexpunk- this Javier makes me feel intoxicated.

HusbandJavi! by@notjustjavierpena - this Javier may have created a marriage kink for me.

Paranoid Hearts Series by @goodwithcheese- this Javier made me think he's the only person that can nickname someone Kitten and make it sound sexy!?

Not His Type by @l0ngschl0ngking - this Javier made me feel adored.

Las Mañanas by @kiwisbell - this Javier made me feel desirable. Chefs kiss. Also, her OTHER Javi fic Diamante made me DIE.

When You Wish on A Shooting Star by @honeyedmiller - this Javier made me want an anniversary getaway like yesterdayyyy.

Old Habits Die Hard Series by @liltangerineart - this Javier makes me seriously melt. He's sooooo fine.

When I'm Feeling Alone, you remind me of Home by @joelsgreys -this Javier make me feel savored.

MarriedJavi! Series by @lokischocolatefountain - this Javier makes me want to wrap my arms TIGHT around him and never let go because he is going through it.

His Girl by @mellowswriting- this Javier makes me realize maybe I don't care if a man gets a little possessive with me...

Joel Miller

One for the Money, Two for the Show Series by @cowgurrrl - this Joel is a menace and was one of the stories that inspired my actorjoel! series even though he's a musician in this series.

Feel It in Your Bones Series by @joelscurls - this Joel made me believe in putting your guard down and falling in love.

Marriage Dynamics by @starry-eyes-love - this Joel made me feel tense. This series is important cause marriage isn't always rainbows.

Somewhere to Run by @punkshort - this Joel made me find a man in a uniform sexy. I'm not into cops, but Sherrif Joel can get it. This series inspired my Buried Truth fic.

Somewhere to Fight for Series by @auteurdelabre - this Joel made me feel things I didn't even know I felt... a stunning story.

SoftJoel Collection! by @cavillscurls - this Joel made me feel safe and the version of Joel I connect to the most.

Day after Tomorrow by @familyvideostevie - this Joel made me secure. Part 2!?

Finding Something to Fight For Series by @wonwoosthetic - this Joel makes me feel domestic.

In the Woods Series by @eupheme - this Joel activated my love for his character.

Your Hand in Mine by @thelightsandtheroses - this Joel makes me feel calm.

Grays by @softlyspector - this Joel made me want to cuddle. There's also the Adjustments series that I adored, but cannot find anymore.

Sequins by @trulybetty - this Joel made me feel hot and bothered. I need an experience like this.

Texas Sun by @from-the-clouds - this Joel is probably my favorite story in TLOU fandom.

One Thing I'm Missing by @joelscruff - this Joel made me feel protected.

Meet me in the Woods by @pedgito - this Joel made me feel feral and carnal somehow.

Teachers Pet by @javiscigarette - this Joel makes me SERIOUSLY question if my boyfriend should be concerned about my love for Joel.

Give you Something to Dream About by@kedsandtubesocks - this Joel makes me want to start caring about football just to have him.

Study Days with Joel by @bearsbeetsbeskar - this Joel makes me feel horny. It's really that simple.

Death by Flirting by @strang3lov3 - This Joel made me feel flirtatious.

Wake up Call by @sugarcoated-lame - This Joel made me feel unwell and made me want to scream.

Feral Masterlist by @ohraicodoll - This Joel makes me feel ON FIRE BABY.

Dieter Bravo

Starstruck (cool girl'verse) by @ezrasbirdie - this Dieter makes me feel vulnerable.

Little Monsters by @chronically-ghosted - this Dieter made me want to have a husband and children ASAP. I need a part 2! and I Crawl Home to Her is a wonderful treat.

Plastic Hearts by @guess-my-next-obsession - this Dieter makes me reflect on life and all its craziness.

The New Girl in Tinseltown by @chiriwritesstuff - this Dieter is so wild, it makes me want to laugh and cry.

Javier Gutiérrez

The Stay Universe by @toomanystoriessolittletime - this Javier made me feel like the most special person ever.

Worth the Feeling by @modern-day-bard - this Javier made me feel giddy inside and like I had a crush the entire time.

Are you alright, Honey? by @javigutierrez - This Javier makes me feel like I'm in a movie. Part 2...?

Cinema by @psychedelic-ink - this Javier made me quiver.

Dave York

Strangers by @wildemaven - this Dave makes me feel worked up. Get your shit together Dave, but boy when he does... he does. Also, her Holi-Dave series is precious.

Kill me Softly by @astroboots - this Dave make me feel deranged and he's so hot.

If you guys have any recommendations for other characters, especially Ezra and Jack Daniels, please let me know! I try to read other boys, but the ones I've listed seem to be the ones that do it for me... Most importantly, reblog to send love to these authors!!

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modern-day-bard · 2 months

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I just binged all of worth the feeling in one day! Please tell me you have another story on the way!! I can’t wait to read your next series!

Ahh this is so sweet of you! 🫶🏻 yes!! I am currently working on a Joel Miller fic. It’s a bit different, dual POV and more of a slow burn. I’m unsure of if I’m going to post chapter by chapter or try to finish the whole thing before I start posting it (just in case I need to go back & edit). Thank you so much for reading!!💗

#I’m clearly a bit indecisive lol #javi gutierrez fanfiction #worth the feeling

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modern-day-bard · 3 months

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#fanfic #fanfiction #writing #reading #questions #Im new thank you for your help lol

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modern-day-bard · 3 months

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Epilogue

Eight Years Later

"No, no, January is going to be perfect. I was able to sign off on pre-production so we're good to go." Alice's excited voice chirps through my phone.

"Does this mean...We're greenlit?" I ask with equal enthusiasm.

"We're greenlit!" She practically sings.

"Oh my god!" I dance around my office, despite the fact that I'm completely alone inside of it, and one of the walls is made completely of glass. Whatever. It won't be the first time my team has seen this kind of excitable outburst from me.

"Thank you, Alice! I need to tell Lana and Patrick."

"Absolutely, go, go. I'll talk to you later, Director." I can't help but get choked up as she says it. When Alice directed her first film, I was lucky enough to have worked my way up to be an assistant director. After two films together, she moved on to producing and reached out to me when she opened up her production company last year. I adored working with her. I never got to interact with her too much as a PA at Norwick, but with her directing, it was an entirely new playing field. She was calm, concise, and driven. I jumped at the opportunity as soon as she had asked me, even though it is the most terrifying and exhilarating thing I've done in my life.

My first project as a director, officially greenlit. Set to start production in January.

I want to tell Javi first, but I can't help but head straight for the door, opening it to my team sitting at their desks outside. Lana is the first to peak up at me, before she nudges Patrick, our screenwriter, next to her.

"Are we—?" She asks, nearly holding her breath.

"We're greenlit!" I exclaim, and Lana is instantly at my side, wrapping me in a tight hug. Patrick and the rest of the team hoot and holler, and Lana and I jump up and down, still holding onto each other.

"It's going to be a lot," I say quietly to Lana, "I know we're ready but–"

"Can you do me a favor and enjoy yourself?" Lana playfully pinches my arm. "You've earned it. We all have. Aves, it's going to be amazing."

Patrick is next to me then, and I wrap him in a hug next.

"We couldn't have done it without your words, Pat."

"I don't believe that for a second, but God am I excited for some job security."

I laugh, and several of the team members shout in agreement.

"I can't wait to tell Mia!" Lana says, already dialing her wife's number. We had promised Mia that if we were actually able to make this happen, her newly opened coffeehouse would be featured in the film. Shouldn't be too difficult to coordinate when your wife is the sound designer and your best friend is the director. She'll be thrilled, not that she needs any additional advertisement. Mia opened up the place just before they got married two years ago, and it's been thriving ever since.

"I feel like I'm walking into good news?"

My heart flutters at the warm voice filling our small office. I look to my right, and sure enough, Javi is walking in carrying a bag full of take out boxes, a broad smile lighting up his handsome face. He sets the bag down on the board room table, raising his eyebrows at me expectantly.

"We start filming in January!" I squeal.

Patrick moves back to his desk, typing eagerly on his phone, just as Lana moves toward the stairwell. I hear her tell Mia the good news as soon as the door closes.

Javi is in front of me now, giving me the same proud smile I've seen hundreds of times over the past eight years.

"Congratulations, my love." He brings my hand to kiss lips, kissing the top of it first before kissing the ring on my finger. That was his latest thing. He asked me to marry him just a few months ago on our hiatus trip back to Italy. We decided we should properly see the city now that he and I were old news to the press. That first year was tricky, many people commenting on our work together, and our age difference. But as our love grew, the noise died down. People began to realize that this was real. And eventually, thankfully, the headlines started to turn positive, until they eventually began to focus mainly on our work.

We had agreed to wait until I was at least an assistant director before Javi popped the question. He had a hard time waiting, often sending me incredibly unsubtle hints about rings and venues. So I was prepared for him to propose eventually. What I wasn't prepared for was him getting the same hotel room he had stayed in during our time in Italy. He set up a moonlit dinner on the roof by the pool, a slightly upgraded version to the pizza he had brought me so many years ago, and he asked for my hand. Javi, however old fashioned it may be, had already visited both my parents in person to ask for permission. They were overjoyed of course, and they still spoke weekly. And for me, it was the easiest choice I've ever made.

Javi's deep brown eyes look up into mine as he pulls his lips back from my finger.

"Thank you," I say quietly. "Your support has made all the difference, just in case I haven't told you."

"You may have mentioned it once or twice." He kisses my cheek, pulling me in for a hug.

When we release each other, I ask, "Do you have a second to talk in my office?"

He smirks at the formality. "Of course."

Javi follows me inside and I click the door behind me. He leans against the front of my desk, arms folded across his chest.

"Well, Mr. Gutierrez, I've been chatting with Alice and I have a favor to ask." I use my most professional tone, walking around the other side of my desk, forcing him to turn and face me.

"I thought I told you to call me Javi," He jokes.

I blush at the memory, smiling to myself over how the tables have turned. When he had first asked me to call him Javi, I was escorting him back to his trailer for lunch. Today, he's bringing me lunch to my office where I want to discuss my feature film.

"In that case, Javi, would you happen to be free this upcoming January through, perhaps, April?"

His eyes narrow, but his smile grows wider. "Are you offering me a job, Ms. Cohen?"

"Yes. Alice and I think you'd be the perfect supporting cast member. And please, you can call me Mrs. Gutierrez." I can't help but laugh as I say it.

"Oh, I intend to." Javi's voice is low and serious, coated with anticipation despite my humorous tone. I clear my throat. I need to make sure I can actually get his approval before I completely lose my head.

"In all seriousness, if you want the part, it's yours. There is no pressure to accept it. I obviously think you'd be perfect, and I checked with Danielle and I don't think it should clash with your upcoming projects but that doesn't mean—"

Javi crosses over to my side of the desk, cupping my face in his hands to shut me up.

"I'd love to. I've read the part, it's fantastic. The whole project."

I nod, meeting his tender gaze.

"I'm serious though, Javi. How would you feel about me directing you?"

He seems to consider it for a moment, looking into my eyes and down to my lips. "We've worked together before, and I would say it went pretty well." He presses a light kiss to my lips before dropping his voice down to a whisper. "And regardless of a director's chair or not, I plan on following both you and your directions for a long, long time."

I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him down to kiss me through my giggles. I had that same euphoric feeling I had in Italy when he got on one knee. That feeling that all the noise, the nerves, and the opinions were all worth it. He is worth it all, and he made me feel as though I am too.

Previous Chapter

Series Masterlist

a/n: if you’ve made it to the end of my story, thank you so much for reading it!! 🤍 This was my first attempt at fanfiction & I was nervous to post. I appreciate anyone for taking the time to give it a read! I’m working on more now & hope to post in the near future 🫶🏻

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x original characters #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #javi gutierrez fanfiction #javi gutierrez smut #javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez x reader #javi gutierrez fluff

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modern-day-bard · 3 months

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Worth The Feeling

Chapter 32

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

"The coast is clear?" Javi calls from the other side of the door.

"All clear!" Barb calls back, stepping away from my now fully-clothed body. I smirk to myself, as if he hasn't already seen everything underneath this gown.

Javi opens the door to my adjoining suite, looking dashing in his deep blue tuxedo. He freezes mid-step, taking in my navy gown, adorned head to toe in sparkly embellishments. My hair is pulled up off my neck in an up-do, courtesy of Sophie. My eyes were smokey, with just enough sparkle to coordinate with the gown.

I wait for him to say something, but he just stands there, frozen. A giggle bubbles up my throat.

"Seriously?" Barb asks, "Three hours of work from the best of the best and you've got nothing to say?"

Sophie laughs, and Javi smiles ever so slightly, just shaking his head.

"Beautiful," He says softly, "Absolutely beautiful."

Of course my cheeks grow red, but I hope with the help from Sophie, it's far less detectable.

"Thank you," I say shyly.

Sophie lets out an, "Awww," and Barb just scoffs. Despite her typical quips, she was over-the-moon when I told her about Javi and me, and my decision to finally go after what I want as she suggested. And she was even more overjoyed when I asked if she could help me get ready for the premiere. Over-the-moon may be a slight exaggeration on my part, but she cracked several smiles when I had asked, and that was good enough for me. Barb asked Sophie for me, who was really just excited to have an excuse to come to the premiere herself. I had no idea how to get a gown for this type of occasion, but sure enough, Barb already had pulled multiple looks from storage for me to try when we arrived in Paris for the premiere. This one happened to fit like a glove, and it was a bonus that it matched Javi's suit of course. Since this is our first official outing as a couple.

We've stayed in hiding for the past few months until the premiere arrived. A week or so with my parents, but mostly at Javi's home in L.A. It was nice to spend so much time together again, especially time that was uninterrupted by call times. Though he had to dodge some pretty tough questions during the press junket these last few weeks, he did so with grace. I've stayed off social media entirely, and asked Lana and Mia not to send anything my way. Over the last two months, things would die down and the media would sink their teeth into someone else, but then Javi would be asked about a love scene in the movie, or I would be seen arriving to his house, and it would start up again. The bulk of it all worried me, but when he came home and we cooked together, played games together, or held each other, the worry would fade. I want him. And I don't care what anyone else thinks now.

Javi walks fully into the room now, picking up both of my hands and not even attempting to hide his obvious gawking.

"You're a masterpiece," he says, his eyes glowing.

"And I'm the artist," Barb snaps, "Now we need to get on the road before both of you hotshots hold up the entire premiere."

"Wait! We need to take a picture to send to Lana and Mia, I promised," I say.

"And your parents," Javi adds with a smile, "I believe they said they were entitled to the first picture."

I roll my eyes, though I can't fight back a smile of my own.

I knew my parents wouldn't care about Javi's career, especially with their consistent lack of star-struckness, and I didn't think they would care about his age. However, that didn't stop me from having a pit in my stomach when they arrived home from work the day Javi came to Connecticut.

After we had both calmed down, I gave him a tour of the house, spending a little too long in my bedroom, and then I took him for a walk around the neighborhood. I showed him where I broke my wrist riding my bike, the house my childhood best friend lived in before she moved away, and the route I used to take trick-or-treating. Being with him then, knowing that no one in this sleepy neighborhood would ever notice or care that we were there, it calmed me down even further. Even still, it was a relief when my parents welcomed him with open arms. Not that they weren't surprised to find him in their living room after work. We made dinner together, and my parents made a genuine effort to get to know him, asking primarily about his upbringing and his hobbies outside of work, which I was grateful for. Javi could tell right away that they weren't the Hollywood type, and strangely, I think that bonded them much quicker. In just a couple of short months, he now probably speaks with them more often that I do.

We practice posing a few times for Sophie, who aims to get the best angle of us with my phone. All three of them give me tips on how to best pose on a red carpet, and the mention of that makes my heart flutter. I had given so much thought to how to conduct myself if I was asked any questions, specifically any questions about Blake, that I had given very little thought to where to put my hands, or just how tall I can stand before it looks forced. There are a surprising amount of micro-movements to consider when you realize there will be at least fifteen to twenty cameras on you at all times.

The lucky thing was, I didn't have to worry about Blake being on the red carpet. The story that they are selling, or rather that Tom and the PR team is selling, is that Blake had a scheduling conflict and could no longer attend tonight's event, just as he has not been attending several of the press tour events. The real story is that Blake is under investigation for verbally harassing an employee on the last project he participated in before he came to Norwick. In what I believe to be a certain poetic justice, there was video proof of this harassment that was leaked online, and it was more than damning. Even though his outburst was ridiculous, it brought some peace. I would probably never have to see him again, and the whistleblower employee would never have to work with him again. It may be a nightmare for Tom, but once this press circuit is over, Blake isn't anyone's problem anymore.

We finally get a picture that I approve of, one with my hand on Javi's chest, both of us smiling at each other. It feels real, natural, and relaxed. Many of the pictures to come will be quick, posing for photographers who were likely trying to get a more seedy photo of us when we were outed as a couple. I like the idea that this is the first real picture we have of the night. I fire it off to my parents, who likely won't be able to respond for several hours, and to Mia and Lana, who immediately flood my phone with love, despite the eight hour time difference. My heart squeezes, and I place a quick kiss on Javi's cheek. As this small gesture turns Javi's cheeks a deep red, I worry my heart might explode altogether.

After profusely thanking Sophie and Barb, we're ushered downstairs to the underground parking lot where a car is waiting to take us to the premiere. Javi doesn't let go of my hand the entire time.

"--And the security detail will be with us on the carpet, as well as my publicist. Danielle will be with us all night." He's given me this information several times, but he squeezes my hand as he repeats it again. "You can ask her anything you need to throughout the night."

I nod, "I know, thank you." I have been introduced to Danielle a couple of times now, and she knows her shit. She's coached me a few times on how to answer tricky questions, though now that we're almost to the carpet, I'm unsure if any of it stuck. I swipe my thumb across the back of Javi's hand a few times, and he brings it to his lips to leave a kiss. It eases the pounding of my heart, just a little.

"Remember, you can change your mind at any time. You don't have to stay, you can skip the carpet and meet me inside, and we could probably leave early once the movie starts."

Also not the first time he's told me this. The earnestness of his gaze calms me further.

"I know that, too." I place my hand on the side of his face, "But you've been answering all of these intrusive questions on your own. I'm not nervous, I just want to be here for you."

His gaze softens, and he gives me a quick kiss. I may have lied a bit about the nervous part, but every time Javi squeezes my hand, I know that we can do this. At the very least, we can go out in public together now. And a few months ago, I wouldn't have believed that to be a possibility.

The car pulls to a stop, and I take one final deep breath. Javi raises his eyebrows at me.

"Ready?" he asks.

"As I'll ever be," I smile back at him.

I let him get out first, hearing the crowd go crazy even after he closes his door. He told me ahead of time that standard protocol would be for my door to be facing the carpet, and as his date I should wait for him to get my door for me. Even after my years in the film industry, I hadn't considered the red carpet logistics. After the film is made, I enjoy my hiatus and cram in as many online courses as possible. I had never been invited to a premiere, and I never thought my first one would be like this. Dolled up, walking the carpet, involved in a scandal. I shake the last thought from my head as Javi appears on my side, opening the door and offering me his hand.

I accept it, smiling up at him. Immediately, it feels as though thousands of flash bulbs explode around me. I keep my eyes on Javi, his arm wrapping protectively around me. When I do look ahead, it's just as we practiced. I keep my eyes unfocused, not addressing any specific camera, and allow him to lead me forward to where the actual carpet begins. Seemingly out of thin air, Danielle appears next to us in her black suit and access pass.

"Good to see you both," She says in a tone so calm and collected that you would never know that there were dozens of screaming fans behind us. "We're going to start up on the right with some photos, and after that I'll direct you to the press."

"At least three interviews?" Javi asks.

"Yes, at least three," Danielle puts herself between us and the cameras to our left, indicating us to go first.

When we enter this part of the carpet, I can see Jack Wyatt a few yards away, speaking with a reporter. He must have just finished his photos, which means Javi is next. When these photographers spot him, they go just as crazy as the ones outside. Danielle leads Javi to his spot before coming back to stand beside me. She had told me ahead of time that we would start with just Javi, and bring me up if the photographers asked for it.

And they are, loudly.

"Ava!"

"Miss Cohen!"

"Javi, bring your girlfriend up here!"

"Let's see the happy couple!"

Despite their calls, Javi continues to pose for them, making no moves to bring me forward. After a few minutes, I see why he does it. The yelling calms, and they take their time asking him for different angles. The excitement of it calms, and it takes to seem more like they have a job to do. When this shift takes place, Javi looks over to me and winks. That is when Danielle gently guides me forward, and I suck in a quick breath taking my place next to Javi and the giant poster that includes a rather dashing photo of him.

When I take my place at his side, the flashing kicks up again, and I give them all my best confident, but not too overly excited, smile.

"You belong here," Javi whispers against the shell of my ear. "And you look incredible." I blush, smiling at him. I don't miss how they all start yelling because of it, but I block it out. He squeezes my side, pulling me closer to him. Javi then looks back at all of them, not quite smiling, but just looking out at them all. A complete professional. It may be a while until I can do the same, though it already feels much easier than I expect it to. I fully expected to fall on my face, or throw up in front of everybody. But I'm grounded, with him next to me, both feet are firmly on the ground.

After the photos, Danielle directs Javi to the interview station where several publications are lined up, waiting to speak with him. Many of them eye me as he answers their questions. Thankfully, the first two ask mostly about this film, how his past projects differ, what it was like to work with Emma and Jack. I find it interesting that no one brings up Blake, and I wonder if they were asked not to by Norwick or their own publications.

That is, until he gets to the last interviewer. The man, who's name I can't hear from where I'm standing with Danielle, seems to be out for blood. I do hear him mention Blake's name, so I try to nonchalantly step forward to get more context.

"--What I am pleased about is how well our cast and crew came together to finish the film and I hope audiences have just as much fun watching it as we did making it." I hear the end of Javi's statement and feel a glow of pride. Whatever the question was about Blake, he shut it down just as easily as he had the other inappropriate questions from these past few weeks.

"Speaking of the crew," the man looks to me and I feel my eyes grow wide. "Ava Cohen, you worked on set with Javi, isn't that right?"

I hesitate, not sure if I'm even allowed to engage with him. I feel Danielle's hand on my back, and Javi takes the opportunity to pull me close to him once again.

"That's right," I decide to keep my responses as short as possible.

"As an assistant?" I don't miss the skepticism in his voice as he shoves the microphone to my mouth.

"A production assistant, yes. I've worked with Norwick for several years." I say politely.

"Ava has been promoted to Key-PA, actually." Javi smiles at me.

"Ah! Congratulations," the interviewer says with feigned enthusiasm.

"Thank you," I smile at him.

"I'd be remiss if I didn't ask what this transition has been like for you. All this attention, the negativity from Emma, how do you go from behind the scenes to being thrust in the public eye?" Not a hint of embarrassment from this guy. Incredible. There wasn't any negativity from Emma, she was the one who caught Blake. Though the press didn't know that, they also have no reason to believe that Emma and I wouldn't be getting along.

Javi opens his mouth, but I beat him to the punch.

"You know, it's a lot to take in for sure. If anything, I'm relying on Emma's kindness and her recommendations of how to tackle a situation like this. But take all the cameras away, and I'm just a girl who met a guy at work, and we happened to like each other. The rest of it..." I look at Javi, "It's just noise. It doesn't matter when we're together." Javi's eyes glow, hearing me repeat his words from many weeks ago. I can practically feel the pride rippling off of him.

The interviewer looks far less pleased, realizing that he won't get the scoop he was hoping for. He thanks us for our time, and we're escorted to the end of the carpet. Javi bends to whisper something to me just as I hear more screaming behind us.

I turn around, and see Emma, looking every bit the Hollywood starlet in a long, shimmering gold gown. She takes her time posing, making the photographers go crazy. Emma and I hadn't spoken since the wrap party, truthfully. But the idea that they were going to turn us against each other when she helped me with Blake, and she never wanted Javi in the first place...it was ridiculous. When she turns to show the back of her dress, I catch her eye. Without thinking, I wave at her. Emma grins, giving a small wave back. She takes a step toward me, and as soon as I take one toward her, we instinctively move to meet in the middle. I didn't plan it, and I hope it doesn't give Danielle a heart attack, but Emma and I share a tight hug in the middle of the carpet. The cameras flash nonstop, but I don't care.

"Thank you," I whisper, "Truly. For what you did with you-know-who."

"Don't mention it," She whispers back, "I've dealt with enough of those bozos in my time. We could use one less of them running around."

I giggle, feeling my eyes water.

We take another moment to smile at each other, and she squeezes both of my hands before returning to her mark, immediately becoming the portrait of glamor once again.

I walk back over to Javi and Danielle, both of them smiling at me. Javi takes my hand, and Danielle guides us into the theater.

"I hope that was okay," I say quietly to both of them, "The last guy mentioned 'Emma's negativity' and I did that without thinking."

Javi shakes his head. "You were perfect. All of it."

Danielle nods, the majority of her attention focused on her phone. "I agree. There shouldn't be any fall out from that," she peaks up from her screen just long enough to flash me a smile, "You were great." I breathe a sigh of relief.

Javi doesn't stop smiling at me the entire way inside the theater. Danielle and I take our seats, and he kisses the back of my hand before leaving me to join Lloyd, Jack, and Alice toward the stage. Emma comes in shortly after, eliciting excited squeals from some of the rows behind me. She's the last of the main cast to arrive, and I see her chatting with Javi, Lloyd and a man who I assume is the moderator. Soon, all of them are taking the stage, and we all erupt into thunderous applause. I can't contain my smile at this point, especially with the relief of the carpet being over. It takes everything in me not to get up and do a standing ovation, just to get the last of the remaining nervous energy out of me.

There is a rather short Q&A between the moderator and the cast and crew. Lloyd answers a majority of the questions, and I suppress a laugh when he talks about how calm he felt in Italy, surrounded by the tranquil water of Lake Como. Images of him beat red, on the verge of screaming pop into my head. To be fair, perhaps that is what Lloyd considers calm.

Javi and Emma are asked about their romance of course, and it's Emma who responds first.

"All of those more intimate scenes, or more awkward should we say, are always made easier when you're friends with the person."

"Friends? When we screened the film, it seemed rather steamy." The moderator's cadence makes it sound like a joke, but even still, he's reminding me of the human headache of a reporter that we left outside.

"Thank you, Issac. I take that as a testament of my craft," Javi jokes, readjusting his bowtie for dramatic affect. The crowd laughs, and I wonder if this is maybe now the last question I'll hear being asked about their relationship.

There are a few more questions for Jack, about his return to the screen after several years of a break, and a couple more for Alice and Lloyd to answer. Then finally, the moderator, –Issac apparently– thanks all of them for their answers, and the crowd cheers widely as they all begin to return to their seats.

"And now, without further ado, it is my privilege to present to you all, the world premiere of Overreach!"

Javi makes it back to our seats just as the lights go dim. He promptly places his hand on my knee, giving it three light squeezes. I don't think he's ever been as into these reassuring squeezes as he has this night.

"Great job," I whisper to him.

His hand grabs my chin before I can turn toward the screen. "Thank you, my love." My heart stutters. He's never called me that before, and now I don't want him to call me anything else. We've both known, for a while now, what we are to each other. But it felt too heavy to say those three specific words without knowing how we would face the public together. But I feel it, all the time.

Without a second thought, I place a light kiss to his lips. I make a move to pull back, but he doesn't let me, sweeping his hand behind my neck. He tilts his head to the side, deepening the kiss enough for my toes to attempt to curl within my heels.

Javi smirks at my expression when he finally allows me to pull back.

"Bastard," I breathe.

He chuckles to himself, turning toward the screen and focusing as if he hadn't just been kissing the life out of me.

I find it hard to concentrate on the movie, as I'm far too absorbed in what we've just done. My biggest fears came to life, and I survived. I've been in talks with Dwayne and I'm feeling more and more prepared to take over as Key-PA for our next project, which begins shooting in just under a month. The entire country found out about us, and neither of us ran. We're standing tall, together. Taking pictures together, answering the tough questions together, sitting next to each other in a movie theater. In a weird sense, this is the most normal date we've ever had, that is, except for our very first. Though at the time, I wasn't sure if that had been a date until he had kissed me.

With the thought of that night, I lay my head on his shoulder, sighing contentedly. He makes it increasingly harder to concentrate on the movie, tracing lazy circles on my knee. The silk fabric of my dress feels like an impossibly thin barrier between us, and yet way too thick at the same time. I find myself looking down at his hand far too often. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know that the people around us could take note. But I smile a little to myself when I realize that doesn't matter now.

Only twenty minutes later, Javi whispers to me, "Hey."

I look up to meet his gaze, "Hi."

"Wanna get out of here?" He winks.

I sit up, "Um, are we allowed to do that?"

"Of course, I'm sure Jack and Emma have already left." I do remember hearing from our crew that a lot of the talent rarely stays for the entire premiere. It just feels funny to leave an event so early that we spent so long prepping for. Though I can't deny as soon as he mentions the idea, a smile grows on my face.

I nod at him, and almost instantly he gets Danielle's attention, giving her a little wave. She gives him a knowing nod, and throws a smile my way. I mouth a thank you to her as we stand.

Javi keeps his cool as we exit the theater, his hand placed on the small of my back to lead me out the side door. But as soon as we're back in the lobby, he grabs my hand, and pulls me along with him as fast as these heels allow.

"C'mon! We can go out the back!" His grin is contagious.

"Wait, we're leaving, leaving? What about the after party?" I say through a fit full of laughter.

"I have my own ideas of an after party." He turns to give me a mischievous smile that makes my stomach leap with excitement.

To my surprise, there are cars waiting behind the theater to take us back to our hotel. This was one part of the night he hadn't prepped me for, and I wonder if he wanted it to be a surprise. Or maybe on the list of importance, an early getaway was rather low.

It was an effort not to have our hands all over each on the car ride back to the hotel. The reflection of our driver in the rearview was enough to keep me from kissing Javi, but I had my hand wrapped tightly on his thigh the entire way.

As soon as we are back in our room, he pushes me against the closed door and crushes his lips to mine. I hold him tightly by the collar of his suit jacket, keeping him as close to me as possible. His hands wrap around mine, pulling them above my head, and I instinctively arch my back to meet him. He pulls back, both of us breathing heavily.

"You know what this reminds me of?"

I'm far too concerned with what I want to happen next to be able to think of what this could possibly remind me of. I shake my head, my tongue darting out to wet my lips.

"Blocking, back in L.A. The first time it was excruciatingly difficult to keep my hands off of you."

I let out a breathless laugh. It is exactly the same. The way my body responds to him, his hands holding mine above us. Even the setting – Paris. But beforehand, it had been fake. Now, with the curtains pulled back and a view of the Eiffel Tower far in the distance... we have the real thing. All of it, real.

"You're right," my voice drops an octave, "If I remember correctly, I push you towards the desk next?"

Javi's gaze darkens, and he releases my hands from above. I push him backward, thankful that there actually is a desk in this very real hotel room. I take the opportunity to remove his jacket. I reach up to take his bowtie off next, but his hand stops me.

"And if, I remember correctly, I take back control again," Before I know it, he's lifting me up, shoving off all the contents from the desk. I might have to repurchase some of the makeup for Sophie later. From the look in his eyes, it will be worth it.

His hands roam up and down my legs, hiking my skirt up as far as it will go. He trails his fingers up my inner thighs, making me shiver.

"I recall that you said my performance during that practice was 'Oscar-worthy,'" he hums against my neck, "How's my performance now?" He gently bites down on my earlobe, and I whimper.

"You're certainly nominated," I can't help but tease him even as my eyes flutter closed.

He groans in frustration, moving one of his hands now between my thighs, lightly stroking just where I want him. My head falls back, eyes still closed.

"Yes," I breathe out, "Right there."

Javi indulges me for a moment or two longer, until I'm suddenly being lifted from the desk. He makes quick work of my dress, moaning approval of my skimpy matching black set underneath. I help him out of his suit, though I'm tempted to ask him to leave just the bowtie on. As he unfastens the last of his buttons, he inclines his head toward the bed, and I know what he's asking.

I lay back in the middle of the four poster bed. I prop myself up on my elbows slightly so I don't miss the sight of Javi crawling from the foot of the bed until he looms over me.

"Exactly like we practiced." I say quietly, my hand traveling up and down his back.

He leans down, his kiss much more tender than I expected. When he pulls back, the sheer emotion on his face almost splits my heart into two.

"Ava," He guides a stray hair away from my face, "Do you know how much I love you?"

I laugh. Or at least I think it's a laugh, but a tear springs loose at the same time, and I feel the most content and comforted I have in my whole life.

I nod quickly, letting another small, happy sob out. "Yes. But not nearly as much as I love you."

Javi's eyes also fill with tears, which makes me feel impossibly full of all things good and bright. "Not possible." He kisses me again, cupping my face carefully.

"We'll have to agree to disagree," I murmur between kisses, and he chuckles.

"I waited a long time to hear you say that, you know." I tease him again when we catch our breath for a moment.

"I didn't want to rush you," He says sincerely, "I've waited so long for you."

My eyebrows draw together, overwhelmed by him. By this feeling, and the need to have him as close to me as possible.

Our kisses grow more passionate and wanting. I smile against his lips, remembering how so many months ago, he had jumped away from me at this point in our 'blocking'. Though I had once thought it meant he didn't want to be near me, I grew to understand it was because he felt as I felt. We both wanted more of this specific, incredible high, but we were surrounded by the crowd. We couldn't pull each other closer, couldn't kiss each other, and we certainly couldn't do what we were doing now. We couldn't make our true feelings known to one another.

Now, I can't imagine us not knowing what we mean to each other. Not knowing how perfect it feels to be in each other's arms.

And now, thankfully, there is no one around to call cut.

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modern-day-bard · 3 months

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 31

I mute the phone quickly, without thinking. There is sun outside my window now, though it looks low in the sky. As the confusion of sleep quiets down, I check my phone again. It's eight o'clock. I slept for practically twelve hours. This situation must be doing a bigger number on my body than I realize.

I blink again, opening up my phone. One text from my mom, wishing me a good morning and that she'd gone off to work. And one missed call. From Javi.

I smack myself in the forehead. It wasn't my alarm, it was a phone call! Made less than a minute ago.

I straighten up, taking a sip of water as I call him back. Hopefully the sleep wearing off will help to dull my nerves. Regardless, my heart is still hammering against my chest.

"Hello," I hear his smooth voice across the line, and after a butterfly escapes my chest, my heart slows to a small thump.

"Hi," I breathe.

"I got your message," I can hear him smiling on the other end. "I miss you too."

Now I'm grinning ear to ear, alone in my old room like an idiot. "You do?"

"Yeah...I was sad I missed your call though. I was on a flight, actually."

My smile drops. "Oh, um, where?" In the split second before he answers, my mind pushes the worst to me: he'll be on location for the next few months and I won't be able to reach him, or he is also escaping the media but doesn't want me to be a part of it.

"Yeah, something really important came up." A beat passes, and he doesn't elaborate.

I sucked in a breath. "Is everything okay?"

"Well, I had to go to see this production assistant of mine. She left during an important time. Understandable of course, but I have some questions I need to ask her."

Pounding. My heart is now pounding. He can't mean...

"Javi...are you in Connecticut?"

"See for yourself."

My brow scrunches together. I glance to the window on my right, facing the street. I can't imagine that he would be out there right now. The blinds are drawn, and I can't picture it. His beautiful aura lighting up my hometown street? I had to do as I was told.

I leap up, stumbling a little before drawing the shade, squinting as my eyes adjust to the sunshine. Even as they do, there is no mistaking the figure that is standing on the curb of my parents' front lawn. I giggle like a madwoman, and the fact that he is standing on the other end of the house, patiently waiting for those curtains to be pulled back makes me laugh harder.

"On your left, Romeo." I say through my hysterics.

His head whips to the side, making eye contact with me through the windowpane. His mouth splits into a jaw-dropping grin that makes my cheeks heat immediately.

"When you have a moment," He says cheekily, "I have some things I would like to discuss with you."

"I'll be right down," I hang up, barely resisting the urge to snap a picture of him as he is now. Brown eyes sparkling, so eager that he can't decide whether or not to keep his hands in his pockets. I peel myself away from the window, charging down the stairs two at a time as if it's Christmas morning. On the last step, it occurs to me that I should have at least brushed my teeth or combed my hair, but I don't care. He's seen me in a worse state than this, right?

As soon as I open the door, I run to him.

I don't bother inviting him in, or waiting to see how he'll react, I just fall into his arms. It is instinctual. He wraps his arms around me immediately, kissing the top of my head at least three times. I squeeze my arms around his waist tighter, taking a deep breath of my favorite scent. I nuzzle my cheek against his chest, trying to absorb as much of him as possible. I know I still have my fears, hell, I'll probably always have them. But he's here. And both Lana and my mom have been telling me that he cares, and most importantly, he's told me how much he cares. If he's here, he must not want out of this situation. He must want me, and I'm tired of not grabbing hold of that opportunity. Because lord knows I want him too.

After several minutes, I pull my head back to look at him properly, even though I don't dare let go of his waist. And his arms don't budge around me. He looks back at me before glancing away quickly, and I realize, as my heart strings are pulled ridiculously tight, that his eyes are misty. I move my hands to rest on either side of his face, gently nudging him to look at me again.

When he does, it doesn't take long for a tear to fall and for me to quickly swipe it away with my thumb.

"Javi..." I'm breathless from the sight of him, and at a loss for words from this emotion. I feel like I should say more, but I don't get the chance before he kisses me. Deeply. Passionately. Pulling me impossibly close to him, letting a contented sigh out against me. I step up on my tippy toes, wrapping my arms around his neck to hold him as tightly as possible.

He kisses me until I'm delirious, and when we finally pull away from each other I can't remember what I should say. So instead of saying something I should say, as he leans his forehead against mine, I say, "How did you find my house? You stalker."

Javi lets out a hearty laugh that makes my heart sing. "Lana. That call sheet has come in handy a tremendous amount of times."

I laugh, too, before my face grows serious again. "I'm sorry, Javi. I didn't mean to run off, but I kept thinking of what they would say about you if I came to your house. I was so overwhelmed by them showing up to my house I just thought...I don't know."

He's shaking his head. "When I knew you were getting on a plane to avoid them, I knew it was bad."

I smile a little. "I don't want you to think I don't care. I panicked."

"You've never been in a situation like this before, Ava. You should do whatever helps you."

"It's also a perk that I can hold you out here without anyone caring. This town is a lot sleepier than L.A."

He kisses my forehead, "That is a perk." We stay there for another moment before he asks, "You talked to Dwayne?"

I nod. "Dwayne and a lawyer, Devon."

"A lawyer, huh?"

"Yes. They were asking if I was going to press charges against Blake. I'm assuming you know he's the one who leaked them now."

His body tenses. "I know. Jonah and I were talking and he's agreed to help with anything you need. If you want to action, he's found some evidence against Blake already from another project–"

I lightly press my fingers over his lips. "I don't want to talk about Blake." I say quietly.

He nods, kissing my fingers.

"I appreciate you talking to Jonah though. But I wanted to ask, when I talked to Dwayne he said that Tom gave you additional steps...what was he talking about?"

Javi hesitates, pulling back sightly to run a hand through his curls.

"Tom and the PR team want me to cut ties with you altogether. To make a statement that we aren't involved with each other."

My heart drops down to my stomach, and I feel like I'm in free fall, mere seconds from the concrete.

"Oh...What did you say?"

Javi smiles faintly. "I told them I would make a statement."

I nod, confused by his expression. Part of me wants to cry, but he wouldn't come all this way for that, surely. Would he? Maybe he wants to keep this a secret. I hadn't considered that yet, at least not out loud. Not to him. My gaze falls to my bare feet on the stone path to the front door.

"Will you go to the premiere with me, Ava?"

My eyes snap up to his, my heart hammering in my chest. "What?"

He shrugs. "They said they wanted a statement. I'd like to make one with you."

"I-I..." I have no choice but to let tears fall freely now, "I don't have a dress." Not the first thing I should have said at this moment. But he laughs softly, taking one of my hands in both of his.

"We can figure that out."

"Won't you get in trouble?" I croak.

Javi's smile is reassuring as he's the one wiping my tears now. "No. Jonah and I have gone over my contract top to bottom, numerous times. It may be Tom's preference that I go with Emma, but it's not required. Dwayne says your job is safe, right?"

I nod.

"Good. As it should be," he plays with my fingers, avoiding my gaze, "I know that public opinion is serious, and it's a lot, it's overwhelming, and if you don't want to take this on I won't hold it against you. But if you'll have me, I think we can do this... None of that noise matters when I'm with you."

"Was your goal today just to make me cry?" I ask, sniffling.

He chuckles, continuing to wipe my tears away. "I'm serious, Ava. I won't hold it against you if you want to keep things private."

He waits, letting me consider it, and I do. But really, there isn't any part of me that feels as though I won't be saying yes. So I just take a moment to think of how I want to phrase it.

"I don't know how to do it – be in the public eye," I start, gaining back my composure so he can truly let my words soak in. "But I don't want to hide with you. I want to go out to dinner with you, go to the movies with you, go home with you. Dwayne has been really understanding, and as for the public," I pull him impossibly closer to me, "I think they're just jealous."

He laughs, and relief coats his eyes and his smile. He gives me a swift peck before whispering against my lips, "I really did miss you."

After another moment, he whispers again, "So, just to clarify, you would like to go to the premiere with me?"

I giggle, "Of course I would." I pull back, giving him a mischievous smile, "Under one condition."

"Anything," he breathes.

"You'll have to meet my parents first, before you decide if you still like me."

Javi lets out a hearty chuckle. "As if it would be possible not to."

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Worth The Feeling

Chapter 30

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

When my mom finds me, I'm curled up in a ball in my room, eyes swollen and nose running. At this point, she gives me a knowing look and I have no other choice but to spill everything to her. To be fair, I had promised to tell her anyway last night. Though I didn't know I would be getting this extra piece to the chaos-infused puzzle of my life.

I tell her everything—save for the intimate details and nights spent in the same bed-–and she listens. She doesn't have a strong reaction to any of it, just nods along and squeezes my knee when I get choked up. I didn't expect either of my parents to know who Javi was. They almost exclusively watch the local news, and the Hallmark Channel. Explaining the magnitude of it all is the most embarrassing part. Well, that is, until I get to the most recent update.

There is no way for me to hide the fact that Javi and I were at least kissing at the wrap party. I wouldn't be able to explain why I flew here to begin with. This also means that I have to explain the way I flirted with Blake in Italy, and how he showed up in our hotel room. Because apparently, he was so irked by the studio telling him that I was asked if I was going to press charges, that he had refused to attend the party at all. No one expected him to show. That is why, when he was spotted by the VIP door, skirting away out the back, it was seen as slightly suspicious. Emma, of all people, noticed him and thought to report this information to the studio when she saw the tabloids. After all, only the lead roles had keys to that room. I make a mental note to send her flowers.

The studio called Blake, threatening him with legal action, or he could simply admit to it now and make the whole thing easier. He did admit to it, under the promise that they wouldn't make that known to the press.

Which made for one last loose end for Norwick to tie up: me.

They could promise Blake all they wanted that they wouldn't go to the press, but I could. I could post about, spread it around town, sell the information to the tabloids, and there was nothing Norwick could do about it. The rest of the phone call, after my soul returned back into my body, was Devon explaining the documents he was going to send to me. I need to sign something that says I was not put in harm's way from the studio, that this wouldn't impact my promotion, and that I promised I wouldn't press charges that would out Blake for defamation, his past threats, or revenge porn. He and Tom made it clear they weren't interested in sparing Blake from the bad press, but they did need to spare the movie and its future sales. I agreed to it. At this point, I just want it to all go away.

"But...honey, this is a good thing, isn't it?" My mom asks after she's sure that I've finished unloading this shitstorm. "Your promotion isn't in jeopardy, and it was just some lousy has-been with a camera."

It's not worth explaining to my mom that Blake Henley is far from a has-been.

"No, that part is good. I'm grateful for that. I just feel...exposed. And for the past few months Javi and I have tried to keep our relationship a secret from just the studio...I didn't think it would get posted everywhere so fast." I sniffle.

My mom waits, sensing there is more. And of course, there is. "I feel like it might be...too much, for him. We haven't known each other for too long. What if it's not long enough for this to be worth it," My voice drops to a whisper, "What if...what if I'm not worth this?"

My mom hugs me now, wrapping her arms tightly around my shoulders.

"Maybe this won't mean much coming from your mother. But you are worth it. Ava, I haven't seen you talk about a man like this, probably, ever. Not even with John." She pulls back and her face softens in sympathy. "I probably shouldn't talk about him. But you know what I mean. Do you feel like it's worth it?"

I nod gently. "When I'm with him, I'm not thinking about anything else. It feels heavy but...it's worth it."

"Then follow that feeling. If he knows what's good for him," she smirks, "He'll know that feeling is worth everything."

I wipe my nose with the back of my sleeve and smile at her. "Thanks, Mom."

After a minute, my smile turns sly. "Would now be a good time to tell you Javi is older than me?" I knew they wouldn't care once they heard how much I liked him, but I also knew it would completely throw her off.

My mom laughs. "How much older?"

"Older. Let's call it at least...twenty years older."

My mom's face goes slightly pale, and I let out my first, real laugh since I got home.

She smiles despite herself. "Maybe wait to tell your father that detail. Let's lead with...well, anything else."

Both of us laugh now, and I feel the room get brighter despite the setting sun.

- - -

Telling my dad later on was a bit easier now that I had told my mom. Having her support made it go smoother. That and the fact that this time I was crying a lot less. After his anger toward the media and Blake subsides, he mostly just wants to know more about Javi. I tell them both about how we met, and our first date. I tell them about Italy and how he calmed me on the plane.

"How was the plane ride here? That was one of the most shocking things to me, that you boarded so last minute." My dad interjects.

"Honestly I think wanting to escape all of the craziness helped. I would rather it wasn't happening but it pushed me to get on the plane, and my panic was minimal."

My dad reaches across the table and squeezes my hand.

"I'm proud of you."

The earnestness in his voice is enough to make my eyes well up again. I've cried so much today I'm surprised I have any tears left.

"So what does your guy think about all this?" He asks, and I know he's trying to change the subject to avoid seeing me cry.

"Well, uh, he's been supportive but we haven't been able to talk about it much. Everything happened so fast. He wanted me to come to his house when I left but I felt like it would create a bigger media storm. Now that I've been home for a bit...I feel like I ran off too soon."

"Why don't you give him a call then?"

"I asked him to call me after his meeting but then Dwayne called and after hearing about Blake I just sort of listened and then cried until mom came home." I laugh but my dad gives me a disapproving stare.

"And you said you weren't going to charge him?"

I nod. "I feel like he's just bitter over what happened in Italy, or maybe he's just bored, but it would create even more of a mess. I also don't think what he did was technically illegal, even though it's creating all this...noise."

My dad nods now. He hesitates, then adds, "I can't deny that this worries me, honey. It sounds like a very big spotlight on you."

"We'll have your back here, of course," my mom chimes in.

"Of course," he agrees, "And I am glad your studio has your back, too."

"It really seems like they do. Dwayne still plans on giving me his position."

My parents exchange a long look.

"I can't say that I thought you would ever date an actor," there is humor in my dad's voice now. "Is he very dramatic?"

I laugh. "I think you'd like him. He's very down to earth."

"Hmm. Well you deserve to be happy sweetie."

"Thanks, dad." I smile at him before letting out a big puff of air. "I think I've been wanting to talk to you guys about all of this for a while. It's been hectic. Great, but hectic."

"When do you think you'll go back?" my mom asks.

I shrug. "I don't know. I'm on hiatus for at least another month. I do need to know what Javi wants to do, and what our PR guy told him to do. Dwayne said that Javi was given advice on next steps and I'm nervous about what that means. I told mom but, I think...I think it's possible this has run its course. It might be too much for him."

My dad clicks his tongue. "Don't jump to conclusions, Ava. You just need to talk to him."

I nod. "I know, I will." I glance over at the clock. It's not even eight yet, but the stress of the earlier phone call, the jet lag, and retelling these past few months twice is weighing on me.

"Honestly I think I might turn in early."

"Okay honey," My dad stands up to press a kiss to the top of my head.

"Love you," My mom calls after me as I make my way up the stairs.

I know they're right, and I need to talk to him. I reread his text messages while I brush my teeth. I don't know why I feel so nervous about all of this, and so calm when I read his last texts. When I'm alone, or I'm speaking to my parents about it, all I can think is, why would he want to deal with this? I can imagine what people are saying about him, just by the few questions the paparazzi barked at me the other morning. I don't know why he would put up with all of that. He could date someone who gets it, someone who is used to the limelight. But when I read his reassuring messages, and how understanding he was when I up and left...I don't feel the weight of my fear.

When I get under my covers, I take a deep breath, and call him.

I'm feeling good about my decision to do so until he doesn't pick up. It rings and rings, but it goes to voicemail. I hadn't planned for this, and my heart beats a little faster.

"Hey, um, it's me. I was just calling to see how the meeting went. I had a call earlier with Dwayne...but now I'm wondering if I shouldn't say any of this over the phone. I'm not sure what the protocol is," I let out a nervous laugh and feel my face flush. What am I saying? "It's been good to be home, but...I miss you. I guess that's all I wanted to say. Okay, bye."

I hang up, covering my face with my hands immediately. Not my best work.

I turn my call volume up, knowing that it must be almost six back in L.A. so he still might give me a call back. Grabbing my marine book from the bedside table, I flop on my back and read a chapter about penguins.

The next thing I know, I'm being jolted awake by the sound of my alarm screaming near my ear.

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 29

Dozens of celebrities visit LAX every day, from both arrivals and departures. Even still, it feels like a risk. I asked David to park us outside while I looked for a flight. On another day, I might be embarrassed, asking him to wait while I frantically look for the soonest flight to Connecticut. There are several arriving in New York that leave much sooner, but I don't want to risk being seen even more. I book one straight to Connecticut leaving in three hours, thank David, and shoot a text to my mom. I'm crossing all of my fingers that my parents have not seen the pictures. Not that they're superbly technologically savvy, but with my mom's friends and their stalking tendencies...I can't even think about that right now.

I buy one of the first books I see after getting through security, ignoring the two tabloids with Javi's face on the cover, and the one with both of us. At my gate, with my knees pull up to my chest, cat down over my eyes, and my book in front of my face, I feel like I've created a little cocoon of safety. After about ten minutes, I realize I bought an informational book about marine life. Absolutely no connection to Hollywood, romance, or mistakes. I'm thrilled.

Sitting here for a while, I feel too numb to even be afraid of my flight. I look down at my bracelet occasionally, and remember that my last flight was also riddled with anxiety. Except this time, the worst of the worst has come true. But I still don't feel scared. I feel like the most important thing is just to get to Connecticut. If I can get there, I can breathe. No one will be able to find me at my parents house. There's no way they'll be able to find that much information about me in such a short time-span. And I don't think my face is the one that would be worth flying out for. Sure, they might hound me here, but from what I know, they would only follow Javi.

Javi, who has called three times since my arrival.

I told David to text Javi once I left the car. I couldn't handle the idea of him calling me before I bought the flight. Hearing his voice would make me change my mind. And it was convenient that I would be too busy going through security and getting to my gate to miss the first two. But now I had no excuse for the third. With an hour and a half left before my flight, I send out a text to Javi.

Me: I'm sorry I missed your calls. I asked David to let you know my plans... I can't let you get more heat if they figure out I'm staying at your house. I'm so sorry, for all of it. I'll call you when I get home.

I send one to Lana and Mia as well, giving them the sparknotes, and I turn off my phone. I know the girls and Javi will be kind, but I don't want to think about it anymore. I zone out staring at a photo of a beluga whale until it's time to board.

- - -

I came dangerously close to collapsing in my mom's arms when her and her sedan greeted me at New Haven's much smaller airport. I had many heart palpitations during takeoff, and there were a few times I thought my body would turn into full-blown panic. But thankfully, flying when you know you're flying away from a public relations crisis that could cost you your job seems to be easier for me. Though that is a lesson I would've been happy never to have learned.

Now that we're safely in the walls of my parents' Cape Cod-style home, I'm bordering on big, big tears. I never miss home. I miss my parents, of course. But I never think of Connecticut in that wistful way everyone else talks about their hometowns. There's some nostalgia, but there's some bad memories, too. I push that thought away as I plop down on their couch. There are other, more recent memories I need to forget. And right now, this feels like the most comforting place in the world.

My mom fiddles with her keys before dropping them on the entryway table. I could tell she was holding back the entire ride home from the airport. She asked about the flight, and about my recent projects, about my friends, and now...

"Where's dad?" I beat her to the punch.

"He's out picking up your favorite."

"Pepe's?" I ask hopefully and she nods, "At 10pm? You're both saints."

"Yes, ma'am," she giggles.

She sits down next to me, placing a hand gingerly on my knee.

"Honey," her voice is much more serious than before, "Are you sure you're okay? You rarely come home. And then within a few hours you text us you're on your way, and you only have a purse with you and no return flight. What's going on?"

"You should've been a detective."

This time she doesn't giggle, she just pins me with her worried expression.

I fiddle with a thread on one of the throw pillows. "Have your friends said anything about me?"

Now she just looks confused. "Uh, no. I've been at work today though."

"Right. Well, I sort of became a topic of conversation recently and—"

"Hello!" My dad bellows, pushing open the front door, two large pizza boxes leading the way.

"Dad!" I hop up. I hug him tightly, nearly sending the pizza to the floor before my mom catches it from behind us.

"Hi, sweetie." He gives me a kiss on the top of my head, and I can feel my eyes sting.

This part of home, I miss.

As we gather in the kitchen, I fill my dad in on what I had already told my mom. I ask them both about work, and their friends. Some of their friends became grandparents, and the thought of that makes my stomach lurch. They laugh at my expression, and I'm relieved there's no additional pressure there. I don't feel much pressure at all as we talk in between pizza slices. I feel lighter than I have in a while. Like all of that attention was some wild Hollywood dream, and I woke up in the safety of my old life.

"Okay, this old man has to call it." My dad finally says, pointing at the clock on the stove. 12:06am.

"Me too," my mom says, kissing my cheek. "I got your room set up for you. Do you need anything before bed?"

I shake my head, hugging them both. "No, just this. Thank you guys."

"You're welcome. But you know I will be wanting to finish our conversation tomorrow," My mom whispers before patting me on the back.

"I know," my laughter is nervous, but she lets it go.

I follow them upstairs, bringing my purse with me. My old room is now half an office, but they left some of my old stuff behind. I rummage through the closet, finding an old high school pep rally t-shirt to throw on. Though "throw on" may be a stretch, because speaking of stretch, this thing barely fits. I decide to go with just a fresh pair of underwear I brought, and make a mental note to raid my mom's closet tomorrow.

I plug in my phone, slipping under the covers. I brought my marine life book into bed with me, just in case any distracting thoughts kept me awake. But staring at a rather spritely looking sea turtle, my eyes are getting heavy. With the time difference, it's past 3am for me. Before I know it, I fall into a dreamless sleep.

- - -

The next morning, after a cold slice of Pepe's for breakfast, I took a walk around my neighborhood. My charged, but turned-off, phone in my pocket. My mom told me that she would probably be able to get off of work early, but didn't have time to warn them last night. My dad said he would try to do the same, but client meetings might keep him later. I didn't mind. I knew I would need some time to figure out how to explain the situation to them, and I would also need to check this phone of mine. I don't want to leave anyone hanging, but...the quiet is nice. The air here is slightly cooler with September rolling in, and the streets are peaceful. I decide that once I remember which houses used to hand out full-size candy bars, I need to turn on my phone.

I gather up the courage sitting on the front stoop, even though the cool bricks freeze my bum. I'm glad this stoop is paparazzi-free at least.

There are less messages from yesterday. Lana and Mia just said to text when I'm settled and that they understand, so I fire another one off to them letting them know I'm safe and I'm cooling off. I wait a few more minutes before reading Javi's messages. I feel a pit in my stomach. I can't imagine that he'll want to deal with all this. And now that I've given him some space, he'll probably be able to see that it's easier with me far away, or just...out of his life in general. I swallow the lump in my throat and open the conversation anyway.

Immediately after I texted him that I was going home he replied.

Javi: Do what you need to do. I completely understand. Though I will be wishing you were here with me instead

And again once he figured I had landed.

Javi: You're probably catching up with your parents, but sleep well. It's late here at home This morning, 5am L.A. time, 8am East Coast time.

Javi: Good morning beautiful. Jonah and I are speaking with Dwayne today. I know it's probably not the best thing to hear this morning but I want to keep you up to date. Call me when you can. We're meeting at 9

I look at the clock. In that case, with the time difference, they're meeting now. I wish I still had more of my neighborhood to walk. The idea of Javi, his lawyer, and Dwayne all in a room together is enough nervous energy to walk five more miles. Besides the idea of the meeting, however, his texts calm me. I thought that looking through my phone would feel like it did yesterday: uncontrollable chaos. But it's the opposite. They soothe me, and it makes me want to speak with him even more. Not just to know what happens in that awful meeting, but just to hear his voice.

Me: Thank you for the update :) I'm sorry for the late reply...and for leaving. But it's been good to be here. Call me when you're out of the meeting if you can

I decide the next best thing is to shower. I take my time, going through my mom's closet afterwards like I had promised last night. I find a t-shirt of hers that actually fits, as well as a hoodie and some soft shorts. Me, my wet hair, and my hoodie are enjoying another slice of pizza when my phone rings.

My heart flutters before I look at who the call belongs to, and then I spit my pizza out onto my plate.

"Hello?" I say, even though I know who it is.

"Ava? It's Dwayne. I've got our lawyer, Devon on with us as well as Tom from public relations. Is now a good time?"

Holy fuck. Holy. Fuck. "Um, sure." Do I need a lawyer on this call?

"We just spoke with Mr. Gutierrez. I've been told that you are aware of the recent press. Is that right?"

"Yes," I swallow hard, "I've seen it."

"We've been in talks this morning about how to handle the situation. Tom has advised Javi on what the next steps are going to be. When it comes to you, I want to reiterate that you aren't in trouble. What we spoke about beforehand remains true, however, I need to ask again, do you plan to press any charges?"

I splutter for a moment. "Charges against–against Javi?"

"Yes. Or Mr. Henley."

How does he factor in this situation?

"Dwayne, I'm a little out of the loop here. I won't be pressing charges against Javi. But why would I want to press charges against Blake? Do you mean for before?"

"Uh, no, not from before..."

There is a pause on their end of the call. Some rustling, and then a new, deep voice begins.

"Miss Cohen, my name is Devon Wallace. I'm the studio's lawyer. As Dwayne said, you are not in any trouble. You aren't in breach of contract for becoming intimate with Javi. It is also helpful, for managing PR, that this has come out after filming has wrapped. However, we would like to avoid another scandal if we can."

I'm still lost. "What other scandal?"

"To be ahead of the news cycle, and to protect you as an employee of Norwick, we want to know if you plan on taking legal action against Blake Henley."

"Why would I be suing Blake Henley?"

Devon clears his throat.

"Because he's the one who captured and leaked the photos."

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Worth The Feeling

Chapter 28

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Dread. Dread cascades over me, stopping me in my tracks. Do I turn back around or keep walking toward the store? I can't just stand here. But I don't know where to go, how to even respond to the fact that that guy knows who I am.

"Ava, how long have you and Javi been seeing each other?" Another man calls out to me from behind his lens. I pull my sunglasses off of my head and over my eyes, hoping to shield myself from them as much as possible. My back is still turned from them, toward the store, but it's not enough. Panic rises in my throat, threatening hyperventilation. How did this happen? What the hell happened?

Two of the photographers move off the sidewalk, coming around in front of me. I know that I have to make a decision if I'm still going to the store or not. What was I even going to the store for? I can practically hear my heart in my ears, even over their shutter speed. Their flashes can't be too bright, given it's daytime. But they feel blinding, especially in the early morning glow. I know that I can't remain frozen here. It's only making it worse as they move to take more photos in front of me.

"How does it feel to have stolen Emma's man?" One of the men behind me shouts. It makes me jump, being that he must not be more than three feet from me.

Tears begin to cloud my vision. I cannot let them see me cry. Could they see tears through my sunglasses? It might not matter. I've been standing here for what seems like so long that it feels like the most important thing to just. Fucking. Move. I take a shaky step further down the sidewalk, and that one movement is like catnip to these vultures. They all jog in front of me now, and I sidestep into the street, getting startled by a car whizzing past. I sprint to the other side, but they follow right along. I trip on the sidewalk, turning in a circle as I regain my footing. I start to think of all the pictures they must have of me now. The clicking hasn't stopped since I stepped off my stoop, which is exactly where I'm heading now.

"Ava, Ava look this way!" One of the men shouts again. I instinctively glance their way and immediately regret it. It's going to look like I want the attention. They take the opportunity to shout at me again.

"Are you the youngest woman he's been with?"

"How's it feel to have a sugar daddy?"

Nausea churns in my stomach. There's no way I can make it to the store.

I jog once again back across the street, fumbling with my keys on the way back up my stoop. It takes all of my remaining effort not to start panting as my shaky hand wraps around the doorknob. Finally, finally, I'm back in my apartment. But as I rest my head briefly on the door, I realize that there is a camera pointed directly at my window. I nearly let out a scream, rushing to close my curtains. After they're all shut, I can now feel the full effect of my hammering heart beat. It's too much. I jog into my kitchen, but I feel like they can still see me. I move from my kitchen to my bedside table, snatching my phone off of it, taking the entire charging cord with it. My breathing is coming in and out at a rapid pace, and I jog without thinking into my bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I sink to the floor, wrapping my arms around myself.

Lana had said before that I might be looking for something negative. For something to be wrong. If I was looking for something to go wrong, I had found it.

I unwrap one arm from around my chest, pressing the power button on my phone.

"C'mon," I whine at my reflection in the screen, willing for it to turn on quicker.

As soon as it's up and running, the texts start pouring in.

Dozens from both Lana, Mia, and Javi, along with several missed calls, mainly from the latter. With shaking hands, I call Lana first. She answers before the first ring is over.

"There you are! Are you okay?"

"Lana, what's going on?" My lip quivers, and more tears spill onto my cheeks.

"There are pictures–from the wrap party. They're all over my timeline this morning. I'm so sorry babes." I can hear the heartbreak in her tone. I feel like I may pass out. If they're from the wrap party...

"What photos exactly? What are we doing in the photos?"

"I didn't want to send them over before talking to you, but I'll text them now."

I put her on speaker, pulling my knees to my chest while I wait. My phone pings again and I almost drop it clicking on her name.

A small, minuscule part of me is relieved that I am fully clothed in the photos. That part of me is almost obliterated when I see the second photo of us, fully embracing in a passionate kiss. All of them are from after we had sex, thankfully. But that is a small mercy. The way my hair is tousled, and how tightly he's grabbing my waist...that kiss. They captured it all. I knew someone was there that night. I felt it in that dread that followed me for the rest of the night, and the following morning. The part of me that knew I was right to be worried. I knew that door slamming had to mean someone was on the stairs. We hadn't heard them. Does that mean they have other, even more intimate photos, that we didn't hear them take? Who had taken them in the first place? Is Javi going to be in trouble with the studio? He was meeting with his manager yesterday...I hope he's not in trouble. When did these even come out?

"Aves, you okay?" Lana asks softly.

"Y-yeah." I sniffle, still zooming in out of the pictures. Everything is crystal clear. There is no mistaking either of our faces, warmed with lust and sparkling with something deeper. In another circumstance, I'd be happy to capture the memory. But now it just feels stolen.

"You're not okay."

"No... I'm not. I-I ruined his career, Lana. And today, they asked me if I stole Emma's man."

"What? Who asked you that?" Lana's tone grows even more concerned.

"The paparazzi. They cornered me on the way to the store."

Lana tuts her tongue, cursing. "That must have been scary."

"I left my phone here. I wouldn't have gone out, had I known." I feel empty, and my voice sounds just as void.

"I'm so so sorry, Ava. Do you want me to come over?"

"No. They'll see you. I need...I need a minute. I don't know what to do."

After a minute or so, Lana adds, "I think you should call Javi. It's okay to let him know what happened. It's okay to, you know, let him in."

My tears are fueled by anger now, and I don't want to take it out on her. "I know. I know. I'm going to call him in a minute. I'm going to let you go."

"Okay...let me know what you need."

"Thank you," I say tightly, more tears falling as I hang up.

I take a few deep breaths, looking around my tiny bathroom. I silently thank the real estate gods that I was unable to secure an apartment with a window in the bathroom like I previously wanted. What was originally a downside is now my sanctuary. They can't find me in here. Logically, I know that my curtains are probably thick enough to block out a photo clear enough for them to sell. But it feels too close.

It's quiet here. I want a few more minutes of quiet before I call Javi.

I take my time, tidying up the contents of my shower and brushing my teeth a second time before I do. My hands won't stop shaking, though I thought doing something might help. It doesn't, not really. I don't know what to say to Javi as I sit down again with my back against the door. I look through his messages first.

Javi: Ava I need to talk to you

Javi: I just tried calling, it's not going through

Javi: You were right. Someone was there, I'm so sorry. I'm talking to Jonah now, trying to see what we can do. My team is trying to get a hold of security footage to see who was near the entry to VIP

Javi: I'm getting worried. I want to apologize

Javi: I hope you're okay

The messages bring the tears back on full-force. My anger dissipates back into sadness and worry. If I keep waiting to know what to say, I could be in this bathroom for days. Before I can panic further, I call him.

He, too, picks up before the first ring even finishes.

"Ava, thank god. Are you okay?" He sounds frantic, worried. Caring, and soft.

"H-hey, um," Much to my embarrassment, I just lose it. I'm clearly sobbing. There's no way to hide it, and I'm just grateful it isn't a video call as I wipe the snot running from my nose.

I can hear him profusely apologizing even though his voice is gingerly soft. He continues to quietly apologize as I cry, giving me time to let it out. After several minutes, I rein the sobbing back into sniffles.

"I'm sorry," I choke out. He shushes me, but I continue anyway. "I've ruined your career. They were asking if you'd been with younger women before—"

"Who was asking?"

"The paparazzi. They cornered me when I was trying to leave my apartment, I think they're still outside."

"I'm coming over."

"No!" I'm surprised by my own volume. "You can't. Javi, it looks so bad. You can't come here. It'll prove it."

Javi pauses for a long moment. "Ava...we're past the point of proof. I know we were worried about that before, but..." He trails off, and that strong sense of dread comes back.

He's right. They know now. What else can we do?

"Maybe we can say it was just a one time thing?" I whisper.

"Even if we said that, it wouldn't get rid of it."

"Javi...the studio. Tom, and the press tour...I'm so sorry."

Javi's voice is soft, careful. "Don't apologize. Someone sold a private moment of ours, Ava. We're working with Tom. I'm going to see what I can do. I'm going to talk to Dwayne, too."

Dwayne. I'd been so caught up with everything that I forgot to worry about my job.

"Do you think he already knows?"

"Ava, I know you don't have social media but...everyone knows. The photos, they've been circulating all night."

And with that, my last shred of hope is shriveled up.

"I think I'm going to be sick."

"I'm so sorry, baby...I want to be there with you." I can practically hear his eyebrows knitting together.

"I want that too, but I might have just ruined your career–"

"Stop saying that, it's not true. I'm just worried about you. This level of attention...we were worried about our coworkers, not the entire world."

We sit in silence for another minute.

"Maybe I should call Dwayne first." Javi thinks about it.

"I'll let you know once Jonah and I have talked with him. You're welcome to call him first, but I think having a plan in place for your safety as well as for the press tour will help with your conversation."

"Yeah...that sounds good."

"I know that nothing sounds good right now."

The corner of my mouth curves upward, just slightly. "Yeah. Not really."

For the third time, we don't speak. I get a sense that he won't be willing to hang up first. After a while, he says, "What if I have a car come pick you up? My home here is gated, it has security cameras."

I think about it for a moment. "Okay."

If I'm not mistaken, I think he sighs in relief. "I'll text you when the car is out front. I'll have the driver meet you at the door to escort you in. Take a breath, and don't look at the cameras or say anything to them."

"Okay," I say again.

"I...I'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

Thirty minutes later, I get up off the bathroom floor. I grab my tote bag, shoving some extra underwear, my toothbrush, and that damn phone charger inside. I put a baseball cap on, armed with my sunglasses, and march outside when I get Javi's text, before I can chicken out. Sure enough, all of the men with their cameras are still there, still ready. Still taking likely a hundred frames per minute. The driver, a man with white hair dressed seriously in a dark suit, greets me, placing his hand on my back and guiding me through the shouts of paparazzi.

Once in the car, I let out a shaky breath. The driver, who reintroduces himself as David, starts off in what I can only assume is the direction of Javi's house. I look down at my phone, thankful for the small mercy that is my lack of social media. Then I think about how those photographers just got new pictures to sell of me getting into this car. Maybe they won't know I'm going to see Javi, but they might write about it. They might make him look like he was taking advantage of me, or like he was cheating on Emma. No matter where I go, if it's in L.A., they'll be able to sell something about it.

"Um, David?" I make eye contact with him through the review mirror.

"Yes, Ms. Cohen?"

"Can you take me to LAX?"

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modern-day-bard · 3 months

Text

Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 27

I had only just fallen asleep two or three hours ago when the sound of clanking in the kitchen sends me shooting up straight. I'm frightened before I see Mia's head bobbing up behind the island. I twist to see Lana on the bed, pressing a pillow against both of her ears to muffle the sound.

"Mia! You woke her up!" Lana whisper-shouts, chastising her from across the room.

Mia turns with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. I wanted to make you pancakes but you have, like, almost no food here."

"It's hiatus," I yawn, "That's pretty much the only time I have to go grocery shopping. I will actually have to do that now that there's no crafty."

Mia gingerly places a bowl on the countertop, grimacing at me. Lana groans, flopping back down on the bed. "It's a good thing you're cute."

Mia blushes at this, before I can practically see the light bulb go off behind her eyes. "I know, I'm going to hit the corner store real quick and then I can whip you both up some pancakes and start off vacation the right way."

"You don't have to, Mia." I say, struggling to get the words out. Water. I need water.

She waves her arm in front of her face, shooing away the notion. "It won't take any time at all." She gathers her wallet from the floor, slips on her heels, and puts her hand on the doorknob.

"Uh, honey?" Lana says, sitting up again. "You're still in your party dress."

Mia frowns, glancing down at her sparkles. "So?"

"So, it's very...revealing. And it's very early."

"Hm, you're right.... Maybe I'll get it for free!" Mia winks, slipping out of the door before Lana can say anything.

I can't help but laugh as Lana groans again. "I mean, you didn't really think that would stop her, did you?"

"If it did, she wouldn't be Mia." Lana's tone is teasing, but it's full of adoration.

"How does she have this much energy? She was plastered last night."

Lana shrugs. "One of her many gifts. She's never suffered from a hangover."

"Speaking of..." I get up from the couch, pouring a glass of water for us both which Lana accepts with a tired smile.

"What time is it?" I ask.

"About 7 I think."

I lean to my bedside table where I thought I had left my phone to charge, but to my disappointment, I realize that I had left it next to the charger. I check it anyway: still dead. I plug it in before guzzling back my water and leaning against my headboard.

"So, you know I'm gonna ask, right?" Lana quirks a brow at me from the corner of my eye. I give her a quizzical look.

"About where you disappeared to last night. Anything to share?"

"Now? Lana I barely slept last night."

Now she looks a bit concerned. "Why? Did you drink too much?"

"No, no. Definitely enough to feel secure on the dance floor," Lana chuckles at that, "But...I don't know. I have a bad feeling."

I tell Lana about last night, sparing her most of the sensual details, but telling her about me and Javi's rendezvous all the same. I tell her how worried I am about the door, and that we can't be certain no one saw us. She listens intently, sipping her water. When I'm done, she looks thoughtful for a moment.

"Do you think, and correct me if I'm wrong, that maybe you're looking for something to be wrong? Maybe...maybe you haven't felt this way in a really long time. Maybe he treats you really well, and it's scary. Different can be scary, even if different is good."

I pull back to look her directly in the eye. "Who gave you permission to be so wise this early?"

She whacks my arm. "You didn't answer the question."

I hesitate. "I think...you could be right. But I also know that we heard something and it's not out of the question."

Lana nods. "I agree."

We sit in silence, thinking for a minute or two.

"He did give me something sweet last night." I reach out my wrist to her.

"Oooo," Lana coos, turning the bracelet over. "An airplane?"

"Mhm. He said it was for conquering my fears. That I should get a new charm for every place I travel."

Lana's eyes shine as she pinches the tiny plane. "I know that, whatever happens, even worst case scenario, we'll be there for you. Mia and me, and Javi, too."

I nod, leaning my head on her shoulder. "Thanks, Lans. Maybe I am thinking only of the worst case scenario."

Lana pats my knee. "Well, if you didn't, you wouldn't be Ava."

I hit her gently, laughing as she tugs away.

Not even five minutes later, Mia knocks at the door. When we open it for her, she has two large shopping bags balanced on one hip.

"You guys! There's a channel five news van parked across the street. Do you think there's something being filmed here?" She plops her bags on the kitchen island, reaching down to slip out of her heels again.

Lana waves her off as I make a move to finally use the bathroom. "They're probably taking a nap before reporting somewhere else."

Mia looks slightly disappointed.

"What are we having?" I call from the bathroom.

"How do we feel about chocolate chip?" Her smile is so wide, and with her shopping bags contrasting last night's ornamental dress and heels, it makes me burst out laughing for no reason at all.

We spend the rest of the morning entertaining Mia as she cooks for us. Chocolate chip pancakes, as promised, as well as scrambled eggs, fresh orange juice, and bacon. We have a feast on the floor of my apartment, watching old movies and recapping the night before. Mia, true to Lana's words, remembers everything despite how far gone she had seemed. They both told me about a man dancing behind them who kept offering to buy the girls around him drinks, probably hoping that they didn't know it was an open bar.

"Dwayne made that joke last night, but he was definitely kidding...I think" I muse.

"No, this guy was so earnest, I almost took him up on it." Lana says, taking another bite of her bacon. I laugh.

"I can't believe my apartment is capable of producing such good food." I hum, reaching for another pancake.

Mia clears her throat.

"With your help, of course. Seriously, Mia, this is amazing."

"Thank you. Keep me in mind for craft services on the next film you finance."

"Oh, I will."

We all take a small nap in the afternoon which does help ease some of my anxiety. The pit in my stomach is still there, but it's covered in a soft layer of chocolate chip pancakes.

By the time that the girls go home and I take a proper shower, I'm starting to feel like maybe, everything is okay. I check on my phone afterwards, dropping on my bed in my towel. I bite back a smile, seeing that I had a missed text from an hour ago.

Javi: How you holding up today?

Me: Tired. I didn't sleep much last night. And...sore ;) how are you?

He answers back a few minutes later.

Javi: Sore huh? I wish I could help you with that... In meetings all day today.

Me: Meetings? It's a Sunday

Javi: My manager doesn't believe in weekends. Already focused on the next project

I hadn't thought about where Javi's next project might take him. I hadn't thought about much beyond getting work done and making sure the number of people who discover us is kept to a minimum.

Me: Do you know where that might be?

Javi: Still up in the air. I'm reading a couple of scripts tonight. They'll have to actually want me of course in order for anything to move forward

Me: They'll want you. Speaking from personal experience lol

Javi: I'd be happy to give you more experience in that department, anytime

Me: Thanks. I'll keep your business card handy

Javi: Please do

I nearly jump when my phone begins to ring in my hand. My mom. I take a deep breath, answering after the third ring.

"Hey, Mom."

"Hi sweetie. Your last movie just ended, right?"

"Yes it did. We just had the party last night."

I can hear football scores being broadcasted on a TV nearby. The sound slowly fades as I assume she moves into the kitchen.

"Oh good! Your father and I wanted to ask if you'd like to come home during this hiatus. We didn't get to see you during the last one." I can tell she's trying to keep her tone light, but I know it hurts them not to see me in so long.

"I would love that, Mom. I usually take some of my online courses during break but I could always work on them there. As long as you two don't have anything too big planned."

"No, no. Nothing wild. We'd just like to see you."

My heart tugs. "Let me think about some dates. I can see if I have any miles saved up..."

"Dad and I want to fly you home, our treat. It will be like an early Christmas present." Christmas was practically half a year away. And knowing that I will finally be able to breathe, maybe have some extra time with my friends and Javi, it isn't making me want to visit home right away. I might need a few weeks here.

"That's sweet of you guys. Let me look at some flights tonight and see how I can time it. I have to meet with my boss a few times during the break so I'll check in with him and call you back once I know more."

"Sounds good!" She sounds significantly more cheerful. "I'll talk to you soon. Love you, honey."

"Love you, too."

There aren't too many things I miss about the East Coast, but they sure are one of them. I check my email, yawning as I mark days and times on the calendar that Dwayne had mentioned beforehand. Then I search some available flights, looking for the cheapest possible option. Even looking through the website sends my heart into a bit of a panic, but I try playing with the tiny plane now attached to my wrist. Hoping it will remind me that I conquered more than one flight already this year.

My eyes grow heavy and I glance at the time on my laptop. 7:00pm. Drastically early to go to bed as a twenty-something on break from work, but I'm not sure I can fight it much longer. I hardly slept last night, and though the nap earlier helped ease some of my anxiety, the rest of my body still craved rest.

I fall asleep with my laptop still open on the other side of my bed.

- - -

The next morning, I'm irritated to find that I didn't plug in my phone. Again. I need to put a sticky note on my bedside table to remind me. Thanks to it's already dwindling battery yesterday, due to my same mistake, it's dead. I plug it back in, correctly this time, and go to wash up and blow-dry my hair. Afterwards, I make my way to the kitchen. Though there is one pancake and some orange juice left in the fridge courtesy of Mia, she had a good point. There was hardly anything here since I came back from Italy, and there wasn't much there to start with before I left. I down the last of the orange juice, nibbling on the last cold pancake, as I change into jeans so I can run to the store. I decide to leave my phone here so I can have a full charge when I get back. The grocery store nearest to me is only a few blocks away, and it's early so it shouldn't be too hot. I place some sunglasses on my head before slinging my tote bag over my shoulder, and step outside into the early morning light.

The first thing I see are two large, white vans parked directly across from my front stoop.

The next thing I see are what feels like hundreds of rapid flashes exploding in my face.

I hold up my hand, trying to block it from my eyes. There must be at least eight photographers, at least from what I can make out in between photos. I walk off my stoop, down the front steps, assuming that they mistook me for someone else. Maybe that's why Mia saw one van out here yesterday. I'm about to turn to walk toward the store when I hear a man shout something that makes my blood run cold.

"Ava! Ava Cohen! Over here!"

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 26

My heart sings. "I'm going to do another lap! I'll be back in a bit." I say to Lana and Mia who are lost in conversation in front of me.

"Okay!" They collectively call as I walk away. It takes me a while to make my way to the side door leading to the VIP room. I try to open it, but the door is locked. I wait for a moment before it suddenly cracks open, and a hand pulls me through before swiftly locking the door behind me. I realize that we're at the bottom of a stairwell, and it's impossibly dark.

Javi drops a quick kiss to my cheek. "Hi," he breathes.

My instinct is to pull away. "Hi, um, can't anyone just walk in here?"

"They only gave me, Emma, Blake and Jack keys." Javi smiles, grabbing my hand and guiding me up the stairs, "Emma just left, Jack was only here long enough to have one drink with Lloyd, and the asshole never showed. I think he's still abroad last time I checked." He practically runs up the remaining stairs, dragging me so fast that a string of giggles escape my mouth.

"Woah," I say, taking in the room. There is another, small bar in the corner, along with floor to ceiling windows that have a bird's eye view of the chandeliers and the party below. There are a few couches that match those on the first floor. The lights are dim, most of the light coming from candles spread around the room.

"This is a lot cozier than I expected." I say, making my way over to the windows. I jump when I feel his finger trailing down my bare back.

"Sorry," he apologies quietly, "Didn't mean to startle you."

"That's alright," I pull him in by his collar to give him a quick kiss. He's dressed in all black. Black shirt, black jacket, black pants. It looks devilishly good in this low light.

"I wanted to give you your wrap present."

I raise a brow. "You're not supposed to get me a wrap present."

"I think we're past the point of doing what I'm supposed to do." His voice takes on a sultry tone. He pulls his hand out behind his back, and places a small, navy jewelry box in my hands. "Don't worry," He says quickly, "This doesn't come with a question."

I roll my eyes, opening up the box to reveal a delicate silver chain bracelet with a teeny tiny plane charm hanging off of it. "Oh," I exclaim, "Javi. It's so cute!"

"It's less of a wrap gift and more of an 'I'm proud of you for conquering your fears' gift." Javi rubs the back of his neck, "It's a charm so the more places you go, the more you can add to it. A little motivation for your next trip."

I can't remember the last time someone bought me jewelry, if they ever had. And from the looks of it, this probably cost more than all the gifts John had ever bought me combined.

"Thank you," I whisper, placing my hand on the side of his face and leaning up to give him a kiss. "Can you help me fasten it?"

Javi places the box back in his suit pocket before securing the chain on my left wrist. He brings my wrist up to his lips when he's done, keeping his eyes locked on mine.

"I-I feel awful I didn't get you anything." I stutter.

"Oh, I feel like you did." He kisses further up my arm, making me giggle.

"God, I love that sound," Javi murmurs against my skin, seemingly to himself.

"Wait, why do you feel like I got you something?"

"Because," Javi frees my hand before turning me around so my back is facing him. "I got to see you enjoying yourself in something like this," his fingernail lightly scratches from the top of my neck all the way down my spine. "I'm a fan of this," he says as he grazes the hem on my thighs. I don't bother hiding the shivers rolling through my body.

"Funny, you seemed rather preoccupied with your photoshoot. I wasn't sure you'd notice." I tease.

Javi places his hands on my hips the same way he had been holding Emma, except he yanks me back so I'm flush against him. I can already feel his growing arousal against my back.

"I was preoccupied," he moves my hair to the side so he can whisper against my ear, "With the thought of pushing up this minuscule skirt of yours and pounding into you until you couldn't stand upright in those heels." I sigh, tipping my head back to rest on his shoulder. He grabs my hands, placing them onto the beam in front of me that was secured along the windows. I grip the wood, arching my back to push against him further.

"Is that what you wanted?" He puts his hands on my thighs now, inching them inward and under my dress. "Is that what you were thinking about, teasing me like that?"

"Yes," I gasp out.

"We'll have to be quick, baby."

I nod furiously. "I want it quick." I start to shift my weight from heel to heel.

Javi sucks in a breath through his teeth as he lifts up my skirt, revealing nothing but a matching black g-string. He gives my ass a quick spank, making me whimper, before he pulls that g-string to the side. With no warning, he shoves two of fingers inside me, curling forward. In my current angle, the sensation is nearly unbearable. I squirm, nails digging into the wood I gripped onto.

"So wet already," He removes his fingers and with a sideways glance I see him dipping them into his mouth, closing his eyes to savor the taste. My whole body feels as though it's on fire, every limp seething with fire at the sight.

Somewhere deep within my subconscious, I have the sudden thought to be concerned.

"Ja-Javi, can't they see us up here? Through the window?"

He shakes his head as he undoes his zipper. "One-way glass. Had it checked already." My heart hammers faster at the thought of him planning this, checking that we would be alone before I even knew that was a possibility tonight.

He runs his hands up and down my thighs again, and I'm still arching back, completely exposed to him behind me. "Please hurry," I say softly, "I haven't had you in two weeks."

Javi chuckles darkly as he teases my entrance, causing my toes to curl. And then, just as he had before with his fingers, he drives into me in one fluid motion. I cry out, my head falling forward. "Oh, yes," I didn't even mean to say it, but I don't feel as if I'm in complete control of my body anymore. Pure bliss is in the driver's seat.

Javi groans, sliding in and out a few more times before picking up the pace. In a matter of moments, he is pounding into me just as hard and fast as he'd promise. I match his rhythm, pushing back against him, feeling it near my belly button at this point. He slips his hand over my shoulder and down the front of my dress, pinching my bare nipple. I'm silently thankful that I couldn't wear a bra tonight. He rolls his thumb and his forefinger around my nipple just as rough as his strokes, and I can hear how much wetter I get as he continues those movements.

"You were driving me crazy," Javi grinds out from behind. "Looking so damn good after I'm not allowed to see you for weeks." He gives my ass another smack, and one of my legs starts to shake uncontrollably. I can't do anything besides pant and whimper.

Suddenly, he pulls out of me, dragging me by my hips to a part of the window wall that didn't have the wood attached. He hikes my skirt up all the way, past my ribcage and past my breasts so that I am completely on display. Javi pushes me against the glass before sliding into me again with just as much force. I put my hands on the window, aimlessly gripping at nothing. Without something to firmly hold onto, I have no choice but to focus on what's building in my belly.

Javi must feel me start to clench around him, because he wraps my hair around his hand and pulls my head backward as he growls, "Do you like getting fucked up here? You like being against this glass, taking this cock like an angel while everyone below has no idea?"

"Mmm-hmph!" I try to respond, clenching around him again and again. My tits are pressed against the glass, and the cold on my nipples mixed with the heat of my skin is driving me even closer to the edge.

"Tell me," he says, slowing just enough for me to lose sight of the edge, and I want to scream. "Tell me you love taking this cock."

I try to grind my hips the same way I had on the dance floor. Try to get any sort of friction to relinquish me from this torture. Javi twitches inside me, and I know he's just as close as I am. "I do. I love taking this cock. I—need it," I whine, letting one of my hands free of the glass to rest on his thigh, trying desperately to make him pick up the pace.

"Mmm. Good girl," He hums against my ear. Javi finally resumes his harsh, punishing rhythm and I no longer try to hold in my curses or cries. At this angle, he's hitting everything just right every time. My knees buckle, but his forearm comes around to help steady me. With his muscly arm gripping me like this, and looking out onto the sea of people who have no idea what's happening in this room, I let go. My legs shake and I come undone around his cock for what feels like an eternity. Javi is quick to follow, groaning my name over and over as he slumps on top of me.

We both stand there for several moments, catching our breath. When we finally break free, he takes his time pulling my dress back down to cover me up, kissing my forehead as he adjusts the straps. I tug at the hem, making sure it's now covering everything it's supposed to cover.

"So I take it you think I clean up nicely?" I joke, finally breathing at a normal rate.

Javi scans me once more, his smile bright and lazy in the aftermath of what we just did. He places his hands on either side of my face, kissing once, twice, three more times before answering.

"You're always beautiful. But this dress...it reminds me of our first date."

I furrow my brow, opening my mouth in protest his first statement, when I hear the door at the bottom of the stairs slam shut. I jump away from Javi, my back hitting the glass behind me. Javi takes a few steps back from me as well, and we freeze up in anticipation for the impending footsteps that will eventually lead to us being caught. After several, shallow breaths, I look at Javi, confused.

No one is coming up the stairs.

Javi catches my eye, putting his index finger to his lip as he approaches the stairs. I do what I'm told, remaining silent. I hold my breath as he looks into the stairwell.

"It's empty," Javi whispers from across the room.

I move as quickly as I can to see for myself. Nothing.

"I mean...that definitely was the door, wasn't it?"

"I think so. Maybe Emma came back and was looking for Lloyd? Maybe she thought he would be up here." I can tell that Javi doesn't believe what he's saying, but I nod anyway. It is possible someone opened the door, changed their mind, and walked away. However...

"We would have heard someone, right? If they came up the stairs?"

Javi pauses, and my heart sinks. I already know the answer. He gently places a hand on my lower back, his thumb moving in what are supposed to be calming circles. "I don't know. Between the music and..." He just looks at me. "I don't know. I think so."

I nod once again. "I'll leave first. If you wait for a few minutes, I can always say that you asked for me to bring you a drink."

"Okay," He says as I turn to leave. He grabs my wrist, preventing me for a moment. "And, Ava? We just have to get through the press tour now. That's it."

I give him a quick smile. "Just the press tour. Easy peasy."

After one more forehead kiss, I hurtle myself down the stairs, closing the door behind me as quickly as possible.

At the most, I was probably gone for about twenty minutes. In that short time, it was as though everyone around me had thrown the last of their inhibitions out the window. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes is almost as heavy as the bass blasting from the speakers. Nothing about the state of this club or the proximity to so many people is working to ease my worry about the VIP room. I move to the dance floor, and if I don't find Lana or Mia there, I'll just text them on my way home.

Thankfully, I can see Lana's silk scarf from several yards away, being tossed with her hair from side to side. When I reach them, I have to tap almost forcefully on Lana's shoulder to get her attention. I have no hope for Mia, as her eyes have been closed since I approached, and she looks completely lost in the music.

"Hey! Heyyy," Lana shouts, realizing I was the one behind her. "I tried texting you!"

"I'm sorry! I didn't think I'd be—gone that long."

Lana rapidly shakes her head. "No, not about that. I tried to warn you!"

I give her a puzzled expression, which she simply returns. I decide it best to retrieve my phone from my clutch as quickly as I can. Sure enough, Lana had texted me fourteen minutes ago.

Lana: Were are you?? We just saw Blade in the back rom talking to the producers

A second text, two minutes after.

Lana: Let me now if you want to leave!!!!

Through Lana's drunken state, and incorrectly spelled messages, there was still no mistaking who she meant. And I certainly did not want to see Blade, or Blake, again. I can practically hear my heart in my ears, despite all the chaos surrounding us. Lana is half looking at me, half bumping along to the music.

"I'm going to call a cab!" I shout. Lana nods, grabbing one of my hands and one of Mia's, signaling they'll come with. Several minutes later, we all pile in the back of the taxi I ordered. Mia and Lana are singing along to the radio at the top of their lungs, I decide just to let them crash at my place instead of driving across town.

I tip the driver, afterwards helping both of the girls up to my front step. Once inside, Mia rushes to the bathroom, continuing to serenade us as she pees with the door wide open. I grab one of the pillows and a throw blanket from my bed and make my way to the couch, overjoyed to finally remove my shoes. Though when I step out of them, I don't feel the relief I thought I would. I have a pit in my stomach that has only grown larger on the ride home. I glance down at my bracelet, remembering that most of the night had been far better than any party I'd ever attended. But I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong, or missing. I glance to the kitchen, confirming for the third time that I brought my clutch in from the cab and dropped it on the counter.

I have my phone, my bracelet, my job, my friends, Javi and I are doing well...but the pit does not fade. I think back to that slamming door, and try to think of virtually any other sound as I curl up and try to fall asleep.

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 25

If there was any part of me that was hesitant about the new dress, that part had been incinerated as soon as I saw those tabloid photos. And walking up to the party now, I clearly wasn't the only one to have dressed to impress. There were other party-goers dressed in sequins, short dresses, suede suits, heels, heavy makeup, and hair that looked as though it was done professionally. I really did pull out all the stops tonight, too. I smoothed my hair, letting it tumble over my shoulders. I did my best attempt at a smokey eye and made sure my lips were plumped with gloss to match the shimmer of my dress. Courtesy of Mia, I had borrowed a sparkly clutch just large enough to hold my phone and some lip gloss. I even brought out one of my only pairs of heels for the occasion, black and strappy to match the rest of the ensemble. Thankfully, they were much easier to walk in than I remember.

Norwick had chosen the Warwick club for our wrap party. I originally thought that it was purely because of how it sounded to say "Norwick at Warwick," however, walking inside...I think the wordplay was just a bonus. It is hard to know where to look first. Giant crystal chandeliers hang from the ceiling, one placed roughly every ten feet along the rafters. The lights were all dimmed, most of the light coming from small, lavender-colored bulbs somewhere high above, the disco balls near the dance floor reflecting it back out. My attention is torn toward the bar, but quickly then to the wall next to it that had a floor to ceiling photo of a naked model, seemingly looking over the crowded room. Behind the bar, there was another room that looked a bit less crowded. Knowing Dwayne, I assume that would be a good place to start if I want to drop off his gift first.

I round the corner behind the bar, taking in the ambient lighting. This room was less crowded, and the thumping music was a bit more drowned out, making it easier to hear conversation. The spacious room has two fireplaces and a handful of cushioned chairs, complete with some barstools that sat along the second, smaller bar in the corner. Sure enough, I find Dwayne leaning against the bar, chatting with the bartender. His attention turns to me and he waves me over. I give him a quick hug, which I had only ever done at wrap parties before. The stress and stuffiness of the film is over with, and it feels like we can all take a collective sigh of relief.

"Happy wrap party," I say, handing over the black and silver gift bag in my hand. I pause as he opens the gift. I ended up going with an Italian candle and a blank clapperboard.

"I figured you didn't get to enjoy a nice Italian vacation, so you can recreate one during hiatus. Also, I realize that this promotion for me also means a promotion for you. You can fill out the clapperboard for your first film as an assistant director."

Dwayne smiles, smelling the candle. "That was very thoughtful of you, Ava. Let me buy you a drink," He winks, and I realize quickly that it is an open bar.

I laugh. "That would be great," I'm tempted to buy a shot, but I settle for a martini instead. The bartender takes my order and Dwayne continues while my drink is being made.

"It's exciting, this next chapter," He has a far off look in his eye. I hadn't taken a moment before I bought the clapperboard to wonder how long Dwayne had wanted this promotion. How young was he when he first dreamed of working in film, and all the steps it took to get to this moment. "I like working with you kids, don't get me wrong. But I'd like to have a say in the direction, not just the logistics."

I nod, understanding completely. "We'll miss you."

"I'll still be on set," He deadpans.

"Well I should hope! I'm still going to have some questions that only a former Key-PA can answer."

Dwayne smiles again, "Happy to help." My drink arrives on the counter, and I raise my glass to him.

"To the next chapter," I say with a chipper smile. He begrudgingly clinks his scotch glass against mine, and I take an eager sip. "Speaking of, when do you want to meet about the remaining logistics stuff I need to learn?"

Dwayne shrugs, "I'll email you. Enjoy tonight though, Ava. We've all earned it." I take the hint, smiling and raising my glass again as I exit the room, filing out with a few others back into the giant main hall. I take several gulps of my martini, now that I'm out of sight of Dwayne. It's not exactly a gulping sort of drink, so by the time I'm situated near one of the couches in the main room, I get in line for the large bar on the far end to get another drink. After ordering another, double, martini, I pull out my phone to text Lana and Mia. They live on the other side of town, so I knew we wouldn't be car pooling. But the place is already packed to the brim, so they have to be in here somewhere. My finger hovers briefly over Javi's name, but I know better than to text him in public. I'm not sure what my name is in his phone, and it just felt too risky depending on what popped up. He was listed just as "J" in mine, just in case. He had texted me before I left.

Javi: Looking forward to seeing you tonight ;)

I smile to myself, reading it again. A familiar squeal breaks through the music, prompting me to look up and see Mia pushing through the crowd toward me, Lana right behind her, smiling wide. They embrace me tightly, though we had just seen each other hours before. Mia starts jumping up and down, still holding both of us. Clearly they had been here long enough to have a few drinks, and clearly my first martini was already kicking in because I start jumping along with her.

"How did Dwayne like the gift?" Lana asks over the noise.

"He cracked not one, but two whole smiles!" I hold up my fingers. "So I think he loved it."

"Woo!" Lana took a sip of her drink. "We should probably be dancing, and you should probably make a little progress on that." She gestured to my nearly full glass. I didn't bother telling her it was a double as I nod, taking a long swig.

"Attagirl!" Mia grabs my hand, pulling me towards the dance floor on the other end of the room. I glance around for familiar faces, and I see a few that I don't know as well, but for the most part it's hard to recognize anyone. I suppose most of us received plus ones, though I had opted not to bring anyone else. The only one I would want with me was already going to be there. The darkness, drinks, and noise dampen my senses as I stop scanning, choosing to focus my attention on reaching the checkered dance floor. It's crowded, and besides a few of the sound engineers that Lana greets, I can't make out people I know super well.

Mia spins me in a circle, making me laugh. I can tell most people around me are yelling the words to the song emanating from the speakers, so I do the same. Taking a few more sips of my drink, I slowly loosen up. Even though this project has been chaotic and unlike anything I've dealt with before, I'm only thinking about the positives right now. I think about our trip, minus the fainting spell, as well as my promotion, Javi, and how happy I am to have the two friends dancing around me. The more I think, the more my hips start to swing, and I close my eyes for several moments just to drink in how lucky I feel right now.

Lana creates a train of sorts with Mia and me, so that the three of us are dancing in a line. She moves us through the dance floor, even deeper into the club than we already were. I'm rocking back and forth when I see long, tanned legs in a short, long-sleeved pink dress. Emma's beautiful long blonde hair sways back and forth as she moves, and she occasionally speaks to a shorter man next to her. I realize through the flashing lights that he's holding a camera. That must be the guy who took the face paparazzi shots, the same ones I saw this morning at the mall. I turn toward the girls.

"Be back in a minute," I shout over the music.

They just nod, turning to dance with each other as I walk away.

"Ms. Madden!" I say enthusiastically as I approach her.

She smiles brightly when she sees me. "Hi, Anna!" She gives me a brisk hug and I feel a small pang of guilt. I never blamed her or Javi, but she was the face of my distress in a way. But she was always polite. She even remembered the name that she incorrectly called me.

"How are you?" I ask.

"Good, good. I'm glad it all went so well. Though I will be happier when this whole stunt is over with, too. No offense, Glen." She wiggles her hand to the man next to her.

Glen didn't even look up from his camera, he just nodded along.

"Honestly," she leans forward so that she doesn't have to shout so loud, "I just need Javi to finally get here so we can take a few pictures and I can get the hell out of here. I'm leaving for Cabo tonight."

"Cabo! That's exciting."

"Who's going to Cabo?" A familiar, smooth voice says behind me. I turn around coming face to chest with Javi. I look up through my lashes, smirking slightly when his jaw goes slack. His eyes do a quick once-over of my outfit before he clears his throat.

"Me! Once we can get our pictures and get out of here." Emma sings.

Javi places a light hand on my back so he can shift around me to Emma. Just before he lets go, he lets it drop lower for a moment. I hope no one can see my shiver. Having so much of my skin exposed made his calloused hands feel even more thrilling. As Glen says hello to Javi, I don't miss how his eyes scan my body, spending too much time on my legs before holding my gaze without a hint of shame.

"Well, have fun. It was good to see you, Emma."

She smiles at me despite my informal phrasing. I will probably never see her again, so I figure I can get away with calling her by her first name.

"You too, Anna." She moves to put her arm around Javi, as Glen is clearly setting up the shot.

"Mr. Gutierrez," I say, "Good to see you, too."

"Ava," Was all he says, his eyes darkening by the minute.

I turn to walk away, making a show of swing my hips to the music as I do so. Before I'm completely out of earshot, I hear Emma ask him, "Wait, it's Ava?"

When I'm back with my friends, I let go. I move my free hand through my hair, dancing around Lana and Mia in time with the beat. Whenever I get the chance, I peer over toward Javi and Emma's side of the dance floor. Javi has his hands on Emma's hips, holding her from behind as she laughs again and again, though Javi hasn't spoken from what I can see. In fact, he keeps looking at me while Glen takes more photos. Glen even takes out his phone to get some shots that I'm sure they'll say were taken by other party goers. I hold Javi's gaze as I grind my hips in a circle, down my drink at the same time. I turn so my back is to him, looking at him as long as possible. Then I run my hands down my body, bending my knees and moving side to side. I know as I arch my back on the way up that the hem of my dress is just barely covering my behind, and almost all of my back is exposed to him. I smirk to myself, hoping that this silly show of mine is doing its trick.

Lana, Mia, and I dance for a few more songs before we're all out of breath. We leave the dance floor to get more drinks. I'm fanning myself in line when I decide to check my phone.

Javi: I don't want to ruin your fun, but do you think you could meet me for a few minutes? I have a wrap gift for you.

He'd only sent the text about five minutes ago. I look around, but he's nowhere in sight. He must still be on the dance floor.

Me: I think I can arrange that. Where?

It only takes him a few seconds to respond.

Javi: The VIP room. As fast as those heels can take you.

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#pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x original characters #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal fluff #javi gutierrez fanfiction #javi gutierrez smut #javi gutierrez x you #javi gutierrez x reader

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modern-day-bard · 3 months

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 24

The smell of coffee fills my nose, rousing me awake. I stretch my arms above my head, sighing at the dull ache running through me. A private reminder of last night's events. I crack my eyes open just in time to see a shirtless Javi, hair tousled from sleep, walking toward me with two cups of coffee. I give him a lazy smile.

"Thank you," I say, accepting the mug. He bends down to leave a swift kiss to the top of my head.

"My pleasure," he jokes with a half-smirk, lounging in front of me on the foot of the bed. "Speaking of pleasure... is it too early to ask you how you felt about last night?"

I raise an eyebrow at him, taking a sip of my coffee. Cream and no sugar, he remembered from Italy. My heart constricts, just a little.

"How I felt?"

"Yes." He says as if it's the most obvious question in the world. "If it was too much, not enough, want me to do anything differently..."

I giggle. "That was hardly our first time, Javi."

He looks unsatisfied. "I know. But it was our first time doing...everything."

Ah. Now I knew what he was getting at. Even if he phrased it like we were in grade school.

"Well," I take another sip, "I don't know if you really want a full trip down dirty-memory-lane, but...no one has ever made me, you know, before while...you know."

Javi's eyes brighten, and it's his turn to point a raised eyebrow at me. "I'm afraid I don't know what you're getting at."

"Yes, you do." I say as firmly as possible, though a smile threatens to tug on the corner of my mouth.

"No, I don't."

We stare each other down for a minute or so, occasionally taking turns sipping on our coffee.

"We'll have to leave for work soon. And I'll have to go the whole day without understanding you." His voice is beyond immature at this point.

"Fine. No one has ever made me...come while...eating me out. Okay? Happy?"

Javi's eyes darken with a familiar possessiveness, and his smile grows.

"If I had known that, I would've stayed down there a while longer."

I balk at him. "I feel like three times is plenty for one evening."

"Hmm," He shrugs, "We'll see." And then he gets up to grab me his hoodie near my couch, as casually as if we had been taking bets on whether or not it would rain.

"I'm going to get you an ego-centric jar. Twenty dollars every time you make a comment like that. Maybe then I can spring for a one-bedroom."

He laughs, tossing me the hoodie which I begrudgingly accept. "I like it here. It makes it easier to take you in every square foot of the house." Javi winks even as I gasp.

"Twenty dollars. Pay up."

"Make it fifty if you want. Making you blush is worth every penny."

I pull the hood over as much of my face as possible. "Don't you have somewhere to be, movie star?"

"As do you, soon to be Key-PA. We should leave in about twenty minutes."

I grumble tired nonsense as I walk toward the bathroom, and I pretend not to see Javi's growing amusement as I clearly stumble when I stand. It's not my fault my legs are still gelatin.

Once I'm washed up, I grab a plain white t-shirt and a pair of jeans from my dresser. Javi's gaze is on me the entire time. I walk over to where he sits on the couch and hand him back his hoodie but he shakes his head.

"Keep it. It will make me feel good to know you have it here, especially when the photos start to emerge."

A pit of dread deepens in my stomach.

"Right...the Emma Thing." We both stare at the hoodie. "I don't dislike her, you know. She might be in her own world sometimes but she's always friendly. Seems respectful."

He nods, assessing my face carefully.

"It still makes you uncomfortable, though." It wasn't a question.

"Yeah. It still makes me uncomfortable. I'm also not thrilled that the studio is essentially controlling your decisions. And if you have to sell a romance between you two from now throughout a press tour...how long would that be?" I have an idea, but I couldn't bring myself to do the math on my own. It felt too real.

"We have two more weeks of shooting, and they'll be editing for a while. Tom said the plan would be to release some 'accidental' shots soon, and for us to lay it on thick during the press tour. But the press tour won't be until at least a couple of months from now, and we'd have the premiere after that..." Javi trails off.

"So depending on editing...you two could have to keep up this farce for, what, six months?"

"Yes," He says delicately.

In the light of day, the reality of the situation hits me so hard I feel like I can't breathe. Six months of tabloids about the man that I lo—care about? Six months of him holding another woman? Even if it was just for the cameras...I feel like a hypocrite. What is the difference between this and his acting career?

"How do you feel about it?" I ask softly.

He considers it for a moment. "I've had to do it before, and it never bothered me. It felt like another acting gig. And I'm glad it keeps you out of trouble, and that the studio will protect you if anything comes to light. Though it's not as if it's not allowed. I know how it could look thanks to Blake." He pauses, taking a breath. "What I don't like is that you were cheated on before. And correct me if I'm wrong," he smiles, trying to add some levity to this conversation, "But I'm the first person you've dated in the public eye. If I were in your shoes, it would be hard to differentiate this fake relationship with our real one. And it...hurts me, to know that I might make you feel that way."

I toss the hoodie beside him on the couch, feeling my chest warm as I do so. "I would never blame you. Even the fact that you consider these things makes the world of a difference."

Javi wraps his hands around my waist, placing a light kiss to my lips.

"And I'll have you know," I say, forehead pressed against his, "You're not the first person I've dated in the public eye."

He raises a quizzical brow.

"My mother has over six hundred Facebook friends. And she might as well have been the paparazzi in my last relationship."

Javi chuckles. "My apologies."

We stay there for a moment longer, before I confess in a light whisper, "I think it bothers me so much because everyone else will think it's real... I know that shouldn't bother me, but it does."

He nods. "I understand." He strokes my hair, tucking a few loose strands behind my ear. "But please trust me; the amount of eyes on a relationship isn't what dignifies its legitimacy. It's the love between those two people. And there is none of that between Emma and me."

A couple of butterflies release in my stomach, and part of me wants to giggle.

"You ready to go?" He asks.

I smile, nodding and going to grab my bag. When my back is turned to him, I can't help but smile wider. Another round of butterflies is set loose as I let myself wonder how dignified Javi thought our relationship to be.

- - -

The final two weeks of filming fly by at a steady, quick rate. True to Dwayne's words, we moved on as we had been. I followed him around most days, or stepped in for him when I could, organizing the other PAs. Of that part, I was glad. Also true to Dwayne's words, I don't see much of Javi on set. Judging from what I had overheard a few of the other crew members discussing, I was glad for that, too. As Sophie recalled last week when I was escorting a few extras to the hair and makeup trailer, Javi's picture was snapped getting rather close to Emma.

"I mean," her voice had dropped down into a whisper, "We obviously see the photographer, we know it's for promo. But the heat," She laughed, rapidly combing through the extra's hair and ignoring his wince. "He was hugging her from behind at one point and, I don't know, it could've fooled me." I chuckled along, gripping my walkie to the point of breakage. I wondered if Sophie hadn't heard the rumors about me and him, or maybe she had and we were just such old news at this point that it didn't matter. Either way, it created a small ache in my chest. Nightly phone calls did help to dull that ache. We had decided it was best not to risk him coming over again, at least until the movie had wrapped. Javi let me know that PR had planned on releasing the first photos of him and Emma the same week as the wrap party, so that rumors tied to the film would circulate exactly two months before they started doing press. Apparently the editors had been working as we were filming, and would continue to do so throughout their press tour. The movie would be ready for release sooner than I anticipated.

On the last day on set, there was that familiar, bittersweet fog covering everyone's typical day. We were all happy to go on hiatus again, but sad of the loss of routine. And for the most part, everyone liked working together. Even if we were collectively crossing our fingers that Lloyd is planning on producing the next film instead of directing it.

I brought Barb a coffee, and she gave me a swift hug. A rarity from her, but it can be seen more often on the last day. There were so many tiny, familiar traditions on the last day. But this time, the day was also filled with me reminiscing on the firsts. It was the first time I didn't quite want the production to end. This project was the first time I physically bumped into an actor, first time I confused the star with another crew member, first time I had fallen asleep on a plane thanks to that actor, and the first time on set that I had fallen in l—

No. Not going to finish that thought today. Not yet.

We gathered for a speech from Lloyd that he administers through a megaphone, not that he needs one. He had thanked us all for our hard work and persistence through this project, and became teary eyed when he talked about how proud he was of himself for dealing with such stress. A few newbies in the crowd laughed before they realized that he was, in fact, serious. And then that was it, and filming was over. I handed in my equipment and thanked Dwayne for the opportunity. He assured me that we could speak a few times during hiatus, he thought that I might be ready for the full responsibility on the next film. I only hope my enthusiasm in my response didn't make him want to rescind his offer.

"I'll see you at the wrap party," Dwayne smiled sincerely.

"I'm looking forward to it," I smiled in return.

Except I wasn't looking forward to it. As Lana, Mia, and I continuously stroll up and down the mall, I'm fresh out of wrap present ideas. And I'm also not completely thrilled that I'm about to see Emma and Javi all cozy tonight. He had warned me that Norwick's hired photographer would be there to take very stealthy, very posed photos. I shake that from my mind and try to focus on the task at hand.

"Why don't you just be repetitive like Lana?" Mia asks, taking a sip of her smoothie.

Lana gently wacks her arm. "That's not fair. Everyone loves that whiskey." She always gets her boss the same whiskey from her home state of Tennessee.

"Well," she clarifies with a smile, "Hank loves that whiskey at least."

"I'm not even sure if Dwayne drinks," I say peering at a nearby kiosk.

"If he works in entertainment, he drinks." Lana says dryly. Mia gets distracted by a sparkly window display of cocktail dresses, brushing her finger along the glass as if she can feel the sequins through it.

"Do you know what Dwayne likes?" She asks absentmindedly.

I think for a moment. "Hiatus?"

Lana laughs. "We technically are supposed to be the ones receiving the presents, anyway."

"You told me back in the day that it was the best way to stay on their good side. That and shutting up."

"I stand by that."

"Plus, I think I should get him something a little nicer as a 'thank you' for the promotion."

"Can we talk about what we're wearing tonight instead?" Mia asks, finally peeling her eyes away from the dresses.

"I'm thinking the usual, dress pants and a nice top." Lana responds.

Mia's face falls. "But it's a club."

"Then maybe it'll be a low cut top," Lana wiggles her eyebrows at Mia, and she blushes so deeply that I feel like I should look away.

"What are you thinking?" Mia asks me, still smiling.

"I'm not sure...maybe that green sort of sundress I bought a while back?"

Mia scowls. "A sundress, Ava? This is a club, people! C'mon, we're going in here." She points at the store, stomping inside before Lana or I can protest.

I have to admit, these dresses made me excited. In under ten minutes Mia and I had picked out eight dresses between us, and were now giving Lana a fashion show that she would most likely want to opt out of. Though a few of Mia's tighter fitted dresses got her attention.

Mia has settled on a midi maroon dress with a deep v. In her words, she has to look her best to make up for the fact that she is a plus one and didn't actually work to get an invite. Not the best excuse to spend money, but not the worst either.

Whereas the other dresses I tried on hugged my body, this one was loose, hanging from two simple spaghetti straps. It was much, much shorter than I was used to and it's cut in such a way that the back is exposed almost all the way to my butt. I laugh at the sight. Even still, I love how it shimmers.

I step out, putting on a show for Mia and Lana.

"YES," Mia claps. "Why do I like this way better than the booby blue one?"

"And it sparkles!" Lana jumps in.

The material was almost silky, but it had a bunch of a reflection and flecks of sparkles within the fabric. I shifted my hips from side to side to get the full effect.

"Do we think black is too boring?" I ask.

"Hmmm," Mia considers, "Do a turn."

I spin slowly, moving up on my toes to mimic heels.

"Boring? With that back? Never." Mia scoffs.

"It's also incredibly short..." I skim the hem with my fingers.

"As Mia reminded us, it is a club." Lana says in a teasing tone. "We deserve to go all out." Lana stands, walking over to me so she can talk quietly. "And, I know of someone who would love to see you in that dress."

My face heats. "We're keeping a low profile."

"What? Low profiles can't have a little fun?"

I look back and forth between my friends before tracing my hand down the front. A sinister part of me likes the idea of wearing this in front of Javi, knowing that he can't do another about it. If our current predicament has to be so strict, we might as well have a little fun when we can.

"Screw it," I say, marching back into the changing room.

"Yay!" Mia squeals behind me.

After our purchases, including a new sparkly hair scarf for Lana to match Mia's dress, we exit and keep walking.

"As much as I love what we got, it doesn't solve my Dwayne problem."

"Oh. Right..." Mia muses for a moment. "Maybe we should get him one to match?" She says it with so much mock sincerity that both Lana and I laugh. Looking to my left, my laughter quickly fades as I spot a kiosk filled with candy, snacks, and magazines. Tabloids. And as I walk toward it, drawn in like a forced breath, I see my—Javi's, face on the cover. Next to it, is a smaller image of him holding Emma's chin, smiling at her while her eyes crinkle with laughter. His free arm is wrapped around her waist. The photo looks as though it was shot through the bushes, though anyone on set knows the truth. I remind myself that I also know the truth...but he is a damn good actor. My fists clench at my sides as I read the headline, Gutierrez is Mad About Madden! Details Inside.

Before I can help myself, I snatch it off the shelf and flip to find the details page.

Lana and Mia come up behind me, but neither of them say anything as they read over my shoulder. In the centerfold of the tabloid, I find it. More photos. The two of them holding hands, his arm slung over her shoulders, both of them sitting for coffee in between takes. Honestly not as bad as I had expected. At least they hadn't kissed...as far as I know. But the thing that made my stomach churn the most was the text bubble to the right that read:

Emma and Javi's romance has been heating up as the couple prepares to wrap up their film, an untitled Norwick Productions project with Llyod Matthews to direct. A source tells us "the pair became inseparable while shooting the film, and they can't keep their hands off of each other." Javi is set to play a former CIA operative turned top secret spy who is brought back into action when his recent ex, Emma, is kidnapped by enemy forces. He must work with his former partner, played by Blake Henley, to save both Emma and the country. But will he be forced to choose between love and honor? It is safe to say that Javi, at least, seems to have chosen love.

"A very credible source, clearly." Lana mumbles. "Are you okay?"

I nod my head, "I'm fine." I place that magazine back on the shelf. "We knew it would happen. We've talked about it. He did it so I can keep my job and my promotion."

"Yeah...but are you okay?" Mia asks this time.

"Of course!" My voice is way too cheery. I try to tone it down. "Of course. I have a new dress, the three of us are going to party tonight, and I think I might have just thought of a gift for Dwayne."

I toss my hair over my shoulders, grabbing Lana's wrist and tugging her to the next store. "Let's go. We have a party to get to."

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Worth The Feeling

Content Warning: 18+ This series contains explicit smut, intimidation, and an age gap relationship. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 23

I take a few calming breaths before pulling back to look into his glazed over eyes.

"I haven't even gotten started with you," I smirk, despite the fact that my voice was still breathless.

Javi returns my smirk, and competitive embers take flame within me.

"You think I'm kidding?" I challenge.

"I think I'm the only one still fully clothed, and you're still out of breath."

I draw one finger down the middle of his chest, and even the thickness of his sweatshirt is useless against the shiver it pulls out of him. "You're right. We should fix that."

I tug up the hem of his hoodie, and he assists me, dragging it up the rest of the way. He has a crisp white t-shirt underneath and the motion releases a new wave of his scent, making me sigh. My face flushes, and I hope it doesn't connect those particular dots.

I shimmy off of his lap onto the floor, propped up on my knees in between his legs, which earns me a protest from Javi. "Let's move to the bed." He reaches for my arm, but I playfully smack it away.

"I like the view of you here," I run my hands up and down his thighs and his jaw tightens. Continuing my smirk, I unbuckle his jeans feeling giddy. My giddiness spills over into a giggle when I have to ask him to help me pull down the fabric where I need it to be. My laughter gets caught in my throat when I take in the size of him once again. Due to the nature of our filming schedules and jet lag, Javi and I hadn't taken our time with each other before. We usually wanted to be with each other and spend the rest of the time getting to know the other better. Though we left plenty of time for sex...I still hadn't performed this aspect yet, nor him on me. I have butterflies in my chest, and though most are from excitement and anticipation, some are from anxiety. John was incredibly particular about oral. So much so that it took all of the fun out of it. It usually felt like a lesson, and I always seemed to be failing. But I have been dying to do this with Javi for weeks, if not months. Lessons be damned, I want to taste him.

Javi makes one final, half-hearted attempt to say that I don't need to, and we should move to the bed. I just shake my head. "If you don't want me to, I won't," I say, wrapping my hand around the base. His hand grips onto the armrest. "But I've wanted to taste you for so long." At that, Javi groans, leaning his head back. I take it as my sign to continue.

I keep my hand firmly wrapped around the base as I slowly lick the head in a smooth circle. He's already hard as stone from my grinding on him earlier, and I feel a new wave of pleasure that getting me off had turned him on so much. The thought brings me to take him in my mouth, causing a multitude of curses to cascade out of Javi's mouth. I look back up at him, and he's staring at me now. His swollen lips are parted, taking in sharp, quick breaths. And there is the slightest tint of pink on his cheeks. My chest swells with pride, and I take him in deeper.

"God, you're incredible," He whispers, brushing a strand of hair away from my face. The intimacy of the gesture only encourages me further, bobbing up and down now on his length. I use my hand in the same rhythm, occasionally taking it so far back that I nearly gag. Even still, I have no shame staring into his eyes the entire time. The typical chocolate brown of them seems to have grown impossibly darker, and he's looking at me with a possessiveness that causes throbbing between my legs yet again. I can't help but move my free hand to try and ease my own ache, and heat flares in Javi's eyes. He starts stroking the side of my face.

"My needy girl. Taking me so well," His rough, dark voice sends a shiver down my spine, "How good does it feel knowing you take me like no one else ever has? How wet does that make you, Ava?" In one quick movement, he leans forward and spanks me. I moan around him, quickening my movements both on myself and him. He twitches in my mouth, but suddenly he pulls me back by my arms, and I frown as he stops me.

He chuckles hoarsely at my expression. "If you don't stop, I'm going to come way too soon. And I have other plans for us tonight." He guides me up so he can plant a hard kiss on my lips. "Go over to the bed," He orders.

I stand up on wobbly knees and walk as fast as they'll take me over to the bed. When I turn around to sit, I see that Javi is not far behind me. He left his jeans by the couch, discarding his t-shirt as he stalks over to me. I drink up the sight of him, my eyes unabashedly scanning every inch of his body.

"Take off your shorts," he says, only a foot or two away from the bed.

I obey, wordlessly hooking my fingers on the waistline and tugging them down. My face grows impossibly hot at the fact that I'm not wearing any underwear. But any thoughts of embarrassment have been taken over by pure arousal. I lean back on my elbows, knees apart, enjoying the way his breath hitches at the sight.

"Come to the edge," his voice is no higher than a whisper, and no darker than the night.

I scoot towards the edge, lying backwards as I do. I jump a little when I feel his hands meet my thighs, gentle, calloused hands exploring all of my exposed skin. I watch him inspect every inch of me before he looks into my eyes again.

"Spread your legs."

My heart hammers in my chest, and I want to curse at him for taking so long. My legs shake as I separate them, and I nearly choke on my breath when he lowers himself to the ground in front of the bed. I have a half-thought to object, knowing first hand how desperate he must be for release at this point. But something about his grip on my hips keeps me there without saying a word.

Javi picks up one of my ankles first, kissing at its base before moving all the way up my calf. He repeats the action on my opposite ankle, moving all the way up my calf. Thankfully, this time he continues all the way up my thigh, spending a significant time on my inner thighs, nipping and sucking gently. I bite down on my palm, my other hand gripping the sheets. He traces circles on the outside of my right thigh while he keeps sucking on my left. Every time I think he's moving closer to where I really need him, he moves back down just a few inches. It's driving me beyond thought, beyond reason.

"Javi," I moan, trying to find the words to tell him what I want.

I feel him chuckle against my skin.

"I need you," I near gasp as his hand wraps around my hip, keeping me in place. "You're going to make me pass out again if you keep doing that." I half-chuckle, but it's breathless.

Suddenly Javi pulls back, slapping me in between my legs, almost enough to be considered forceful. Much like he had in the pool. The memory and the sensation make me moan louder.

"Not funny," He scolds, glaring up at me from where he is still kneeling on the floor.

Regardless, he finally leans down and licks a strong swipe where I have been craving. I whimper, bucking my hips up for more. Then his hands around both of my thighs, holding me to his mouth that now covers me completely. Delivering a mixture of slow, tender strokes and fast, harsh ones.

"Yes," the words rush out of me, "God, yes." One of my hands releases from the sheets to grip his soft brown curls. I tug lightly, and he groans at my pull. His groan sends shivers down my spine as I feel its vibration run through me.

Soon I am a whimpering, panting mess as he changes to only fast and harsh strokes with his tongue. He occasionally repeats the same sucking he was performing on my thighs, and it feels ten times as delicious now. My stomach tightens and I know that I'm close. I try to tighten my muscles, not wanting to let go of the pleasure he's giving me yet. Javi notices.

"C'mon, baby. Give me another one." He says against my skin. My knees shake. "Be a good girl and come for me." He delivers another perfectly aimed slap, and I tumble over the edge, gasping his name over and over again.

As I finally come back down from my second high, I take a full breath and look down at Javi's smug, satisfied expression. He slowly crawls over top of me, kissing my neck soothingly as I continue to catch my breath. Gently, he pulls my arms and helps me scoot up toward the pillows as he stays hovering over me. I'm only half-aware of him retrieving a condom that he must have brought over as I was removing my shorts. He puts it on and lines himself up with my entrance. Javi gives me one last look of confirmation, as if I could ever resist the feeling of him inside of me. As if it wasn't the only thing I've thought about since he showed up at my doorstep tonight. I nod, perhaps too enthusiastically, and his cocky smile fades into slack-jawed bliss as he slides all the way to the hilt. I inhale a sharp breath, pinching my eyes shut.

"Fuuuck," Javi groans, dropping his head to my neck. I wiggle underneath him, needing him to move. "Not—Not yet, Ava." Javi grinds out through his teeth. "I need a minute, or I'm going to put myself to shame here." He huffs out a staggered laugh. I try desperately to give him his minute, stroking his forearms lightly with my nails. He gives me a glazed-over smile, "That's not particularly helpful, either." I blush, releasing a shy smile despite how exposed I had already been.

Slowly. Way. Too. Slowly. He begins to move, throwing his head back at the feeling of me. Of us moving together. My fingers arc inward, digging into his broad forearms instead of trailing gently as they had been before. I need more of him, and less of the stillness. Maybe I'm simply greedy, after already finishing twice tonight–but I don't care. I feel that if he does not start to give me those hard, fast thrusts that I miss so badly that I could burst into flames.

"You're killing me," I mewl beneath him. That got his attention as he opens his eyes again.

"You want me to go faster?" He asks, his tone suspiciously earnest.

"Yes."

Javi smirks that cocky, knowing smirk that I usually adore. But right now I want to smack it off of him. "This is payback, baby." He nearly growls the words.

I dig my nails deeper, right as he slips out almost all the way. He leisurely fills me again, and I give him a look of confusion, the feeling of him too sweet for me to speak again.

Javi chuckles, leaning down to kiss my earlobe before he whispers.

"Do you know–" Thrust, "How worried I was?" He thrusts again, finally picking up the speed just a bit.

My legs begin to shake for the third time tonight, that familiar pull already beginning in my lower belly.

"I'm sorry," I choke out, bringing my legs to wrap around his waist, hoping it will stop the shaking.

"Didn't I tell you," he gives me two sharp thrusts, making me cry out, "To take care of yourself? To make sure you were drinking water?" Javi pounds into me several times in a row, and I'm near tears at the sensation, at his words. His possession, his care. It's all so good. It is so. Good.

He slows again, and I can't help it anymore.

"Please," I beg. "Please, please give it to me."

Javi gives me a soft kiss on my forehead, contrasted with a harsh grab of my left breast. His eyes are so sincere that my heart could burst.

"Are you going to listen to me this time?"

"Yes. God, yes."

"Good girl."

My eyes widen and he chuckles darkly. He grabs both of my hands, placing them above my head, securing me tight. He presses a fierce kiss to my lips and begins to incrementally pick up the pace. I can feel my arousal dripping down my inner thighs, and the harder and faster he moves, the more I groan into his mouth. Javi sets a steady rhythm, pulling all the way out every single time before snapping back into me, hitting that sweet spot that consciously makes me cry out. The sound of him slapping against me makes the swirls in my lower belly increase, and myself tighten around him. He moans, slipping his tongue into my mouth to overtake me completely. My eyes roll back, as I resist his hands holding my arms in place. I don't want him to let me go, but this thrill throughout my entire body is too great. I don't know what to do, and I don't want it to ever stop. His warm, slicked skin should stay on top of mine forever. I dig my heels into his ass, needing him even closer.

"You said you were going to listen," His voice is breathless, and has a desperate edge to it despite the teasing tone. "So you're going to come when I say."

I arch my back off the bed, pressing my breasts up harder against his chest, trying to gain back an ounce of control. I crane my neck up so I can tug his earlobe with my teeth.

"Yes, sir," I whisper.

I feel his cock twitch inside me at those words.

He releases my hands from their previous confinement above my head. I immediately trace my fingers down his back, feeling him shiver against my touch. Javi reaches behind me, though I'm not for what until he says, "Lift your hips."

I do as I'm told, barely registering the pillow he places underneath them. The new angle makes me gasp. The spot he was hitting before felt good, but this felt otherworldly.

Javi is holding my gaze, and I can see the soft dusting of sweat on the side of his brow. I've never seen him so assertive, and it's driving me wild.

As if to prove my point, he says, in the most gravelly I've ever heard his voice, "Touch your clit."

My blush creeps back on my face, but I try to copy his smirk as best I can as I reach between my legs. My jaw goes slack as I rub slow, tantalizing circles on the most sensitive part of my body.

Javi is transfixed, eyes completely glazed over now, watching me add to this already impossible pleasure. With his eyes locked on where our bodies met, he grabs my hips, and picks back up to that same, insane rhythm he had moments ago. My shaky hand can barely keep up, and I no longer have any restraint on my moans that turned into sobs of ecstasy.

Javi is now shaking with me, and I can tell by his increasingly sloppy thrusts that he's close. I've been teetering on the edge for far too long. And thankfully, mercifully, he opens his mouth to groan out, "Come for me."

He barely gets out the last word before I shatter around him, legs turning to jelly as my vision spots with stars. I desperately gasp in air, and I keep heavy lids open just enough to see Javi's gorgeous features contract with pleasure just a moment later. He calls out my name, over and over again like a mantra. After several breaths, he rolls off of me and immediately grabs my waist, pulling my back to his front. He leaves soft, lazy kisses on the side of my face, my shoulder, my neck.

"I might have mentioned this already," He breathes against the back of my neck. "But I really missed you."

Whether it be the culmination of all of today's emotions, or the sincerity that coats his tone, my eyes prick with tears all the same. I remain silently grateful that he can no longer see my face.

"I missed you," I murmur back. I think I hear him whisper something in return, but sleep has taken hold of me.

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