moonbeamsystem

[moonbeamsystem]

Welp. My life has gone to shit so here's a notes game with meeeee hah. (I made the numbers obnoxiously big cause I don't wanna do any of this lollll)

10 notes. I'll brush my teeth(toothpaste blegh)

50 notes. I'll stay clean for a week(arms are healed!)

100 notes. I'll finally finish my book(I worked on a chapter. Out on wattpad now!)

500 notes. I'll clean my room

750 notes. I'll tell my therapist about my suic1al thoughts (<3)

1000 notes. I'll open up to my friends.... (They were chill!!)

2000 notes. I'll talk to my aunt about my mental problem(she gave me advice)

5000 notes. I'll tell my mom about my eating habits.

8000 notes. I'll stay clean for a month

10000 notes. I'll stop isolating myself.

20000 notes. I'll go back inpatient AGH....

Don't you dare do this you all. >_<

(If the goal is white it means its been completed)

[moonbeamsystem]

you can't be a disabled ally without also supporting homeless people and addicts like it's just not possible

[moonbeamsystem]

"okay." i poured my heart out to you, i communicated the way i know how, and all i get from you is three seconds of silence and an "okay." im so fucking stupid.

[moonbeamsystem]

Now what?

Now what?

What do I do?

[moonbeamsystem]

[moonbeamsystem]

Im never gonna be enough. What's the point?

[moonbeamsystem]

You were supposed to protect me You were supposed to love me

[moonbeamsystem]

things to put in a dysautonomia emergency bag/cart ✿

having one place (near your bed preferably) where you can keep all the essentials for bad symptom days has been absolutely key in getting me through those bad days. these are some ideas for what you can put in yours, if you want to make one as well!

prescription medications

painkillers

antacids

anti-diarrheals or laxatives (maybe both)

salt pills or packets

electrolyte drink packets (the powdered stuff)

disposable water bottles

salty snacks

compression socks

pulse oximeter

blood pressure monitor

mini electric fan

ice pack

heating pad

hand warmers

change of clothes

sweatshirt

gum or mints

alcohol wipes or hand sanitizer

disposable toothbrushes

floss

mini hairbrush

dry shampoo

wet wipes

sunglasses

noise-cancelling headphones

[moonbeamsystem]

Cults in media: 12 guys in robes in the woods chanting as some random is pulled into the circle to be stabbed as a sacrifice to Satan or something

Cults irl: Why does our meeting up location have no windows? Why am I so sleepy. Why is everything monotone? Why is it all multi-hour long repetitive, simplistic rhetoric and parts of acting out or repeating back near exact language? Why can't I go to school or play with other kids? Why are you showing me images of outside people dying in fear and panic and blood, of us being attacked and tortured for our "faith" any day now. Why do I have to be happy about that? Why is it always any day now. Why am I so sleepy. Why is the air-con set so weirdly and why can't we change it. Why is my stress response in life to smile.

[moonbeamsystem]

i’m so sick of people treating cults like silly little props for their stories. here’s a list of cozy games where you start a cult! try this board game where you’re competing to be the most successful cult leader! want to join my fake cult roleplay server? cult leader character design! read this forbidden erotica romance book about a cult leader and a cult member!

it’s so endlessly frustrating. the majority of my life i suffered awful abuse because of the cult i was in. every part of my body holds an immense amount of trauma that i may never be able to let go of, and i may never be able to function independently because of it. and people are out here acting as if cults are just silly fantasy and would never happen in real life. cults are real! their victims are real! the abuse and the trauma is real!

media about cults can absolutely be well-done and respectful - but at this point it feels like it’s almost always used for either shock value or treated like a fun cutesy storytelling trope. the commodification and normalization of our trauma is nauseating, especially when the majority of cult survivors will never see justice.

idk. i’m just so sick of it. cult survivors deserve better.

(anyone can interact but please be normal. i’m not sharing any identifying info about the cult i was in, don’t bother asking.)

[moonbeamsystem]

I'm ready to give up on this site, I'm so disappointed with the things I'm seeing in the tags

I miss the old days and having real conversations

I'm so tired of the surge in conspiracy talk, the harmful ideas tearing apart our community, and spreading globally

The history that's being forgotten, overlooked, and twisted beyond recognition

If you think that RAMCOA (now OEA) is antisemitic, I'm going to ask that you unfollow and block me, and I hope you find peace with the damage you're doing and the support you're inadvertently giving to an actual racist at the heart of these claims

Discrediting RAMCOA is discrediting DID as a whole, and it starts with bringing back the satanic panic and causing people to question claims of abuse and trauma

The last time this happened, therapists stopped working with trauma victims entirely, and it took DECADES to repair the damage. Psychology textbooks written by the FMSF early after the panic are still used in colleges and universities to this day.

It's almost too easy for Grey Faction to win.

Good luck out there, and may whatever gods exist help us all in the coming years

WE STAND WITH RAMCOA/OEA SURVIVORS

[moonbeamsystem]

WHEN ON PERIOD:

do not crash out

your feelings are NOT valid

do not send that text

don't kill yourself. lock in

do not act on negative emotions until at least 2 days have elapsed

[moonbeamsystem]

I love making intros on sp it's so FUNNN

[moonbeamsystem]

asking you not to participate in antisemitism through spreading a conspiracy that bears some resemblance to your experiences when there are other words that also describe those experiences and dont contribute to bigoted beliefs that get people killed is not silencing you for fuck's sake

"yeah i was abused with religion and put under mind control and organized abuse and stuff like that and use ramcoa bc it's tbe best thing to describe my life and my experiences and what happened to me" - me

"YOU'RE A FUCKING ANTISEMITIC YOU HATE JEWISH PEOPLE YOU WANT THEM DEAD YOU'RE A BIGOTED CONSPIRACY THEORIST KILL YOURSELF KILL YOURSELF HERE'S YOUR ADDRESS AND YOUR SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!" - everyone under the fucking sun apparently

you sound insane right now. you realize the idea that ramcoa is a conspiracy theory... is, in itself, ALSO a conspiracy theory, right. not to mention how harmful it is to literally any trauma survivor.

anyways, not to mention, there's literally. nothing on google that links it to antisemitism from what i can see. everything i find is about Qanon, which is entirely unrelated to RAMCOA i feel like? so i dont even know where these claims came from. let me guess, someone said one thing a few months ago and ever since then you all believed it without even typing in a few words into google. shocker (/s).

when you google "satanic panic antisemitism" (because everyone loves to compare ramcoa to that for some reason), only things about Qanon come up. when you look up "ramcoa antisemitism", systemscringe and sophie in wonderland pop up, and im not trusting SYSTEMSCRINGE AND SOPHIE of all fucking things. so yeah. literally no proof to this as far as i can tell.

and don't even bring up the grey faction bc i think they're the ones rhat started this stuff ??? and they (apparently) don't even believe DID is real or something. used them as a source once and got jumped (/nsrs) by 5 people so.

[moonbeamsystem]

im just so tired of loving and loving and loving. i dont want to love anymore. i dont have anything left.

[moonbeamsystem]

if you're a radqueer don't fucking follow me end of fucking story i do not care

[moonbeamsystem]