mrsriddlenott

[mrsriddlenott]

a book for every situation ── . ✶ i. lahey

summary: isaac loves that you're a bookworm, until you ignore him for a book

pairings: isaac lahey x bookworm!reader, isaac lahey x gn!reader warnings: none really, no use of 'y/n', fluff, slight humor, a mention of isaac's dad, reader is described as shorter than isaac, title is a lyric from carolina by harry styles, kinda edited; all mistakes are my own word count: 2.6K a/n: had the sudden idea to write bookworm!reader and wanted to write isaac, so combined the two ideas lol. this could have been a head canon but i was itching to write a one shot for my boy hehe <3 enjoy !! isaac lahey masterlist

YOU’VE ALWAYS LOVED books. You’ve been reading since the ripe old age of 6 when your mom brought you to the Beacon Hills library, and you discovered the Junie B. Jones series, and from there, you were hooked. Whenever you were asked what you wanted for your birthday, you always replied with books.

And you never really grew out of it. You loved getting lost within the pages of a well-written book, getting emotionally attached to the characters, and submerging yourself into the world of the book.

Stiles and Scott always teased you about having your nose stuck in a book, but they never failed to ask you for help with their book reports or essays for English. You didn’t mind helping them, but you never failed to have a smug grin on your face when correcting Stiles when he was being a smartass. 

They aptly gave you the nickname “bookworm,”—they were going to shorten it to ‘Wormy’, but after verbally threatening bodily harm, they never called you that nickname after the threats made by you (you still remember the fearful looks in their eyes).

You would have argued that Stiles could compete for the title of the biggest bookworm (it was more like who was the biggest nerd), but one mention of the overflowing bookshelves in your room proved you wrong very quickly.

However, when you were pulled into the world of the supernatural by your best friends, you perpetuated that stereotype to the extreme. When Scott was bitten and became a werewolf, you all but threw yourself into researching and reading whatever lore books you could find on werewolves.

Despite being human, you brought a lot of brain power to the pack (which is saying a lot since the only ‘brainiacs’ within the pack were two other people).  Your extensive knowledge of the supernatural and mythology came in handy. It helped the pack out when it came to the threats that loomed over Beacon Hills constantly. 

Isaac knew that you were smart, maybe too smart for your own good. He vividly remembers spotting you at the local library when he was younger, with your eyes rapidly moving across the page. You sat at one of the tables with books spread throughout the top of it, with one of the Percy Jackson books in your hands as you flipped through its pages.

You were someone that he noticed, but Isaac doubted that you would have noticed him with his quiet disposition and his preference to stay in the background. So when he became a werewolf and inadvertently joined Scott’s pack, he was slightly intimidated by you. Though you were cold to him at first, you eventually warmed up to him—Isaac wouldn’t admit it aloud, but he felt relief wash over him when you stopped acknowledging him with a slight frown on your face and a genuine smile. 

Once the two of you became friends, you guys naturally gravitated towards each other; whether it was sitting together at lunch or in times of danger, Isaac instinctively looked for you and tried to protect you. You remembered the day that Lydia pointed it out to you and just brushed it off as him being a good friend and not wanting you to get hurt since you were one of two humans in the pack. 

Lydia had a sly smirk on her face. “I don’t see Scott trying to protect Stiles at every turn.” 

You narrowed your eyes at the strawberry blonde—you were glad that she didn’t have super hearing because she would have heard your heart beat faster at her implication. You brushed her off and went back to studying, but Lydia didn’t miss your slightly flustered state. 

You had to admit to yourself that you found yourself falling for Isaac. His dry humor complimented your smartass remarks that you found snarking out to him in the moments of banter that the two of you had, and he was easy to talk to when it came to anything.

He’d let you ramble about the book you had just finished or rant about a plot line within a book that irked you to no end. Other than talking about books, you found that Isaac’s presence allowed you to tell him things that you found challenging to try and bring up with Stiles or Lydia. 

In turn, Isaac confided in you about his past with his father (which sparked a flame of anger inside of your chest but managed to keep it contained) and was significantly more vulnerable with you in general. 

You knew that your life wasn’t like one of the romance books you read—if anything, it was more like the horror murder mysteries that were on the bookshelf in your room.

You liked reading romance, they were a fun escape, getting swept up passionate love story between the two main characters, and wishing that your life was like the ones in the books. But you were realistic and didn’t delude yourself into thinking that you would have a love story like any of the heroines that were in these books, hence why you kept your burgeoning crush on Isaac to yourself. 

Little did you know that Isaac had felt the same way about you, and unbeknownst to you, Isaac had a feeling that you liked him back (he silently thanked the fact that he had super hearing and could hear your heartbeat). 

So, he decided that he would make a move during your weekly movie nights with the pack. After the movie was done, he stayed behind as the rest of the pack left to help you clean up (since this most recent one was held at your house). After the living room was cleaned up, the two of you were in the kitchen chatting about how kinda bad the movie was and how egregious the plot was. 

You were putting away some dishes back in the cupboards so your parents didn’t harp on you for not doing it, and you turned around to be face-to-face (more like face-to-chest) with Isaac. You didn’t realize how close he had gotten to you, and your breath caught in your throat. Isaac’s bright blue gaze froze you into place. 

Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest, and you knew that Isaac could hear it. Being this close to Isaac, in combination with the cologne he was wearing, was enough to make you dizzy. 

Isaac was smirking internally, hearing your rapid heartbeat, and let it show on his lips as he placed his hand on your cheek. His eyes flicked from your lips and back to meet your gaze. 

“Can I kiss you?”  

You wanted to regain some control over the situation and your heart rate. “What’s the magic word?” You quipped with a slightly nervous smile on your lips.  

Isaac huffed a laugh through his nose, his hand moving from your cheek to the back of your neck. 

“Can I please kiss you?” 

“There it is, ye-” The rest of your response was cut off by Isaac pulling you close to you by your neck and kissing you. 

The moment Isaac’s lips landed on yours, everything around you faded into oblivion, and all you could think about was how soft and warm his lips were against yours as they moved together. It was everything that you imagined kissing Isaac and more. This kiss felt like how they were described in the romance novels you read, fireworks and all. 

Now, you were lying in your bed, reading your worn copy of Little Women that your mom had gifted to you for your thirteenth birthday. Your room was dim but bright enough so your eyes weren’t strained when reading the black text on the page, and you had some tea on your bedside table that you occasionally sipped at as you read. 

Sunday was usually the day you carved out time to read recreationally if you didn’t have any homework to do over the weekend. Today was a gloomy day, making you want to bundle up. Which you did, clad in some fuzzy socks, a soft sweater (that you definitely didn’t steal from Isaac), and some sweatpants. 

You were so absorbed in your book that you didn’t realize that Isaac was leaning on the doorframe at the entrance of your room until you heard a loud cough pull you from the story and back to reality. 

You looked up and saw your boyfriend with a small but amused smile on his face. “Oh, hey! I thought you were coming over later?” 

“Babe, it’s later.” Isaac pointed to your alarm clock, and you saw that it was the time he had texted that he’d be over.

“Oh.” You said sheepishly. “Lost track of time.” You gestured to the book that was still open in your hands. 

Isaac chuckled lightly. He loved the fact that you were a bookworm; it was very endearing to him, and it was one of the many things that he loved about you. 

“I could tell. I was standing there for a good five minutes before I caught your attention.” Isaac kicked off of your door frame and made his way into your room, closing your door as he did. You noticed that he was dressed in a similar get-up to you—he was wearing a sweater and some sweatpants. 

“You were just standing there and watching me read?” You raised a curious brow at him. 

He nodded. “Yeah, you scrunch your eyebrows together when you’re really focused.” Isaac moved to sit right next to you on your bed and used his thumb to smooth out the wrinkle from between your brows. “Like that.” Isaac couldn’t help but let out a small laugh.

You didn’t realize you were doing it, and when you felt his warm hand on your face, you swatted it away, feeling yourself flush at the action. 

“Don’t worry, it’s cute.” Isaac grinned before leaning down and kissing your forehead. 

You rolled your eyes at him, but you couldn’t help the slight smile that grew on your face at the feeling of his lips against your skin. You shook your head at him before picking up your book again and picking up where you left off. 

Isaac couldn’t help the pout that formed on his lips as you began to read again, ignoring him for your book. There was a reason why he came over: to spend time with you and get your undivided attention. A sigh escaped him before he let his head fall back against your headboard with a slight ‘thunk,’ staring up at your ceiling. 

Another sigh left him, this one slightly louder than the first. And then he did it again, then one more time— this time being the most audible out of the four times he did it, making you cast a glance at him before you went back to reading. 

Isaac mentally groaned at your lack of response at his (poor) attempt to get your attention. He looked down at you, totally engrossed in your book. Isaac decided that it was time to bring out the big guns to get your attention. 

You felt Isaac poke your arm. You didn’t even flinch and kept your eyes on the page. He did it again, this time poking your thigh. You pressed your lips together as you reread the sentence you were trying to finish before Isaac was trying to get your attention. You quickly caught on to what Isaac was trying to do, but you wanted to finish this page before you could reprimand the boy sitting next to you.

The next time he poked you, he aimed for your side—making you jerk away from him. 

Isaac all but whined out your name. 

You finally looked up from the book. “What? Why are you poking at me and sighing?” 

“You’re supposed to be spending time with me,” Isaac said in a very matter-of-fact tone. 

You pursed your lips, trying not to laugh at your boyfriend’s tone. “But I am spending time with you.” 

Isaac rolled his eyes at your witty remark. “I meant that you’re not paying attention to me.” 

“When Lydia said I’d be practically dating a puppy, I didn’t think she’d be right.” You had a sly smile on your face as you teased Isaac. “Let me finish this page and then you can have my undivided attention, okay?” 

Isaac’s eyes narrowed at you before moving so fast that you barely registered what he did. He grabbed your book from your hands and threw it on the floor next to your bed. 

“Isaac!” You exclaimed indignantly. 

He smirked before climbing over you, his face hovering over yours. “You can finish the book after I leave, but right now I’d really like a kiss since I didn’t get one when I got here.” 

You shook your head at him. “You’re an idiot.” You looked deep into his cerulean gaze, finding it filled with mirth, love, and satisfaction at getting your attention. 

“You’re dating this idiot.” Isaac smirked before sweeping you up into a dizzying kiss. 

Your hands instinctively found themselves buried in his blonde curls as his soft lips moved against yours in a passionate kiss that filled your chest with warmth.  Kissing Isaac never failed to make you feel like you were the only person in the world as his lips made you forget anything else was happening. Isaac pulled away from you and chuckled when your lips followed his. 

“You happy now?” You asked him as you scratched at his scalp. 

“Very.” Isaac shot you a smug grin before lowering his body on top of yours, letting his head rest on your chest as you played with his hair. 

You welcomed his body weight on top of you like he was your own personal weighted blanket. The both of you let out contented breaths as you relaxed together. The room was filled with a comfortable silence as you played with Isaac’s hair. You could feel Isaac place a gentle kiss on your neck occasionally before nuzzling his nose in the crook of your neck, taking in your familiar scent—his body relaxing further as your ministrations almost lulled him to sleep. 

The two of you stayed like that for the rest of the night before your mom knocked on the door and let you know if you guys wanted to eat anything, dinner was made, and you could serve yourselves. 

You looked down at Isaac, who was nearly asleep on top of you. You brushed the hair from his forehead, making his eyes flutter open. 

“Are you hungry? My mom said that dinner is ready downstairs.” 

Isaac opened his mouth to respond, but his stomach growled loudly—making you giggle at the sound and at the red hue beginning to grow on Isaac’s face. 

“I think that answers my question.” You said with a smile. 

You went to move, but Isaac grunted and wrapped his arms around your waist, preventing you from moving further. 

“Five more minutes.” Isaac mumbled into your neck

“I don’t know if your stomach can handle five more minutes without eating.” You teased as you ran a hand through his hair. 

Isaac groaned before rolling off of you and onto his back on your bed. “Fine, but you owe me more cuddling time after we eat.” 

You laughed at Isaac before you nodded. “Yeah, yeah fine you big baby, let’s go down and eat.” You patted his thigh before getting up from your bed and taking your half-drunk cold tea to bring downstairs. 

Isaac got up from your bed and quickly grabbed your free hand, his fingers interlacing with yours—making you smile at the action before the two of you made your way out of your room and down the stairs to eat.  

[mrsriddlenott]

I am currently working on the next few parts of Oh It’s You(It may have a different name like a sequel or I may just continue under this name we will see) and as I am writing it is shifting WAY more towards Rafe due to the angst and I am very tempted to make it a Rafe endgame from where I currently am in my writing process, would anyone enjoy that or would it ruin the vibe?

I am gonna put the Oh It’s You Taglist on here just to get it out there.

@slut4-gojo @cali-888 @marley1773 @agnxstic @apeachtea @juno2369 @bee-43 @definitelymentallyderanged @smokahontas-113

[mrsriddlenott]

The Weeping Monk x Fem!Reader : A Broken Reign

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Story Summary: As queen, your duty was to be a proper wife for your king. Unfortunately, your king is a selfish adulterer who grows more short-tempered as time passes. Your lonely existence within the castle walls changes when two Feys stumble into the hands of your guards. One skilled in battle, one skilled in mischief. Two new knights for your kingdom. Two heart silently yielding to love over duty, but how long can these hearts be kept silent?

Notes: Yikes. Realized this idea has been in my wips since december last year.

Warnings: Hurt. Pining. Fluff. Soft and sweet. Violence. Strong Language. Romance. Infidelity. Angst. Forbidden Love.

Word count of this fic: 9k+

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Since birth you had lived with the knights in the castle. Some of the guards had even served your parents and grandparents. So it was not hard to tell when they began to act out of the ordinary. Something was amiss, they were whispering amongst each other too much. Whilst passing two of them by discreetly in the hallway, you overhead them speak about two newly imprisoned people down in the dungeons. The word ‘execution’ fell. It was uncommon for prisoners to be executed so soon after being imprisoned and it was suspicious that you had not been informed of it either. Why did they want to handle the matter discreetly? What was there to hide?

You headed to the dungeons to see for yourself if these prisoners deserved to be executed, to learn about what crimes they had committed that could be grave enough to warrant for this punishment.

Ser Finnian, one of your knights walked out the door to the dungeons and saw you nearing him. “We will handle the matter, Your Highness. No need to worry.”

“Step aside.”

“My lady-”

“Step aside, Ser Finnian! Do not make me repeat myself again.”

He stepped aside and let you walk passed him to the door that led into the dungeons. The place was still a maze to you, you disliked spending even a moment there and would avoid it completely if possible. The sudden frightened shouting of what sounded like a child made you hurry. When you turned another corner and ended up in the deepest part of the dungeons, you understood what was happening. Your guards were dragging a young boy out of the cell they must have kept him in.

You shouted your command at them, “Let go of the boy! NOW!”

And then to your great horror everything escalated. There was no time for them to respond to the command.

One of your guards had tried to warn the others. “He’s loose! The ropes are-”

You heard a gurgling sound and felt your stomach drop. One guard tried to hold on to the boy while the other five tried to defend themselves against the other prisoner who broke out of the cell and had stolen the sword of the guard he had just killed. This man cut through your guards as if they had not spend years practicing the sword.

You feared for the boy’s safety and ran towards the guard with the boy, you grabbed the child’s arm and commanded him in the same way you’d order your guards. “Come with me, hurry!”

The boy and you were almost in the midst of the fight and he knew it was a wise idea to find a safer place to stand around then this. You did not await his answer and pulled him along just as the man decided to launch an attack on the guard who had held on to the boy not a moment ago. You ran with the child, hearing the fight grow eerily quiet mere moments later. The boy had noticed too and came to a sudden halt, digging his heels into the floor to resist how you tugged at his arm.

“Who are you?” The boy demanded to know.

“Not important. Just know I came here to help you.”

“Lancelot!” The child suddenly shouted out into the dungeons.

You frowned. Did the boy know the man? “You know who is attacking my guards?”

The boy was highly alarmed. “He is my friend!”

He managed to pull himself free from your hold but you quickly got hold of his arm again, firmer this time.

“Don’t run off!” you told him.

There was no time to question him further. The boy had called upon this stranger and the stranger had listened to his call. You realized this when you were pulled away from the child and your firm hold on the boy broke. You were thrown with your back against the wall, a hand wrapped around your throat and threatened to take your air away. The bloodied sword was lifted and ready to take your life.

“No, stop!” The boy shouted at the man.

The man halted at the boy’s command and looked down at the child to seek the reason why.

The boy quickly explained, “She said she came here to help me.”

In the light of the torches you could see the face of the stranger and were struck by his appearance. Dark marks ran over his cheeks like tears. You had heard the news of the Weeping Monk’s betrayal to the Church, but never expected to meet him and certainly not like this. He did not give you much time to look at his face, he changed his hold on you, forcing your cheek to the cold stone wall.

One look at you and he knew you were a noblewoman. The clothes, the jewels, it was blatantly clear. You could be very useful in aiding this escape.

His voice was hoarse, a certain deathly sharpness to it, “Who are you?”

The answer to his question was soon to follow. Another lot of your guards had followed Ser Finnian into the dungeons and you held up your hand to make them halt before the situation escalated further.

Ser Finnian saw the sword threatening you. “Unhand the queen!”

And with that information the Monk pulled you away from the wall and held you with your back against his chest, the sword was at your throat.

“No,” was his firm answer. “You will let me and the boy leave this place, or I will cut her throat.”

Ser Finnian tried to console you, “All will be well, Your Highness.” He turned to the guards. “Let them through, sheath your weapons!”

The Monk used you as a shield and had the boy follow him, you were scared for your life. Hallway through hallway he walked, making you tell him the fastest way out of the castle. And that way was through the courtyard.

“I was trying to help you and the boy!” you seethed at him.

“‘Help?’” he scoffed bitterly. “Your guards planned to execute us.”

“And I went into the dungeons to forbid it!”

He was quiet for a moment. The boy was looking up at him, judging him for what he was doing.

“Why would I allow an execution of a child?!? Or any execution without knowing the crime!”

He stopped walking for a moment and gave a tug. “You claim you would help a Fey?”

You tilted your head back when he put the flat of the sword against your throat. “Kill me for it all you want, Weeping Monk. Yes, I help Fey-kind.”

The sound of running guards came from all around, both knights and guards came into sight and surrounded you on the courtyard at a small distance. The Monk knew how dire the situation had become now.

“Tell them to stand down,” he commanded.

“They will not listen.”

“You are their queen.”

“They are following my king’s command now.”

“He would let his queen be killed?” he scoffed, not believing it.

“Put down the sword and I can shield you and the child from bloodshed.”

“Why should I believe you?”

“You were a man of faith, were you not? Have a moment of faith in me and watch as I keep my promise. I cannot protect the boy if you do not let me.”

He yielded due to the dire situation. “Do not let them harm him. He’s just a boy. Swear it.”

You made the vow, “I swear I will do all I can to keep the boy safe.”

The sword was moved away from your throat, his hold on you was gone. You knew you had to act fast or risked one of the guards sending an arrow through them.

First you grabbed the boy and pulled him close, telling the Weeping Monk, “Kneel.”

You were trying to shield him from the guards’ eager bows, even he could tell. He dropped the sword and knelt down, understanding that the skirt of your gown fell wide enough to make it harder for the guards to aim at him.

“Lower your weapons!” you commanded them. “He surrenders!”

Ser Finnian approached with some guards, you halted him by holding a hand up. “Your Highness?”

“I do not want them harmed. He was protecting the boy.”

The knight still had his sword ready. “It’s the Weeping Monk, my lady.”

You remained firm on the matter. “I am aware. As I am aware of his skill. He killed seven of my guards, seven, on his own. My king will want to see if he is useful.”

It was no secret that your husband, Elroy, was constantly looking for new guards and knights. He loved to build an army many would fear.

“Take him to the dungeons.” You glanced down at the Monk. “He will wait there until I have spoken to the king.”

“And the boy?” Ser Finnian asked.

You put a hand on the boy’s shoulder. “He’ll keep me company.”

The Monk looked at you, fear for the boy’s life rested in his eyes. Never had you thought you would feel sympathy for a man notorious for his crimes against the Fey. But now he was willing to risk his life to protect one.

“Lancelot-” The boy tried to step towards him.

You were aware of the danger an unexpected movement could pose and kept the boy at your side, the Monk seemed to appreciate the effort made to keep the boy safe.

You whispered to the Monk, “Behave yourself and this may be the opportunity you seek to start anew.”

There was just the slightest tilt of his head, an acknowledgment, a silent agreement.

The boy was worried. “Lance-”

“It’s alright,” the Monk told him. Then he looked at you. “His name is ‘Percival’. Protect him and I will find a way to repay you.”

The guards were closing in, ready to drag him back to the dungeons. You slowly stepped back so they could do their duty.

You hated to see how the boy, Percival, watched how they bound and dragged him away under the threat of their swords. But you assured Percival that if the Monk kept his word, you would keep yours as well. The boy would be safe in the castle, but the fate of the Monk was yet to be decided.

    ~~~♡~~~♡~~~♤~~~♡~~~♡~~~

  Your husband, the King, was indeed interested in the skill of battle and war the former Weeping Monk possessed. Once he knew Lancelot could be trusted, Lancelot became one of his knights and was offered a place to stay.

It took time for him to adjust to life in a castle. But Lancelot’s desire to ensure a good future for Percival was what made him choose to stay and become a knight. And he was an excellent one, his experience from his earlier life shined through. You were glad he had found his place in the castle, he became respected amongst the guards and most of the knights. In a matter of months he walked the castle grounds as if he had never lived another life.

A past as a monk, yet the more time you spend in his presence the more that past was truly left in the past. Often he accompanied you on your travels to some of the villages, you shared the love of horse riding, something Elroy often mocked you for doing. Elroy considered it unladylike to ride a horse, another ridiculous opinion he had. Months in, you realized you had spend more time with Lancelot than you had spend with Elroy during your whole time wed to him. And Elroy saw no issue, he knew Lancelot was raised as a monk and saw no threat. Perhaps he should have seen one…

It was so simple to converse with Lancelot, so easy to forget the time and talk for hours during those rides. He actually listened and was not afraid to share his opinions, unlike the other knights and guards who would ride along. So easy, so simple… you should have known what could grow from such a connection and the danger that would become part of it.

This day was no different, your mood was elated when finally arriving back at the castle after another ride to a nearby village to see for yourself how the people were doing. Lancelot was quick to dismount Goliath and helped you safely down from your own horse. You thanked him as always and headed for the entrance of the castle.

Lancelot rushed after you suddenly, your cloak in his hands. “Your Highness.”

“Oh.” You reached out for the cloak, but he proceeded to come closer, stopped behind you and gently placed the cloak over your shoulders.

You felt him look over your shoulder to close the cords of the cloak that sat just below your neck. He was in such close proximity that his breath went over your skin just below your jaw. Did your ears betray you, or did you hear him inhale deeper? You knew of his heightened sense of smell, but why would he use it on you? It felt oddly intimate and you tilted your head down to hide your reaction when seeing Ser Finnian approach. The knight held the door open for you to walk inside.

Ser Finnian eyes darted between you and him. “Your Highness. Welcome back.”

“Ser Finnian,” you greeted him politely.

“There are some matters Ser Magnus wishes to discuss with you,” Finnian said. “He has been awaiting your arrival in the war room.”

You moved past him. “I shall go and see him now.”

        Ser Finnian waited until you were inside the fort to confront his fellow knight, “Did I just see you sniff the queen, Ser Lancelot?”

It was impossible not to notice the hint of disapproval in his tone. Ser Finnian was right to question him, to be suspicious, it was his duty. Still, he did not know how to answer in a way that would not cost him his head.

Ser Finnian did not await his answer. “Have you lost your mind, knight?” He turned his head to look at him, hissing lowly, “She is the queen! You serve the king! You do not lust after his queen!”

He kept looking straight ahead, trying not to let any truth show on his face. “I do not lust for-”

“Don’t you dare!” Ser Finnian warned. “If I witness any more evidence of your disloyalty I will inform the king. Is that understood?”

Knight or not, there were matters no title could protect him from facing the punishment for, becoming too familiar with a queen was one of them.

“Yes.” Was all he answered, not granting Ser Finnian a single look.

“Do not behave like some sort of hound around her. Smelling our queen… she is not one of your kind you can breed with.”

He tried to block out what was being said, or else he would lose his head for killing a fellow knight.

This time he looked at Ser Finnian slowly. The knight must have seen the silent danger building in his eyes, he said nothing anymore and left him alone.

    ~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~

  After speaking to Ser Magnus , you headed to your chambers. Well… you tried. The door was in your sight when a sound came from underneath your feet. The wooden floorboard cracked in warning too late, your foot sank through it and the splintered edges cut into your ankle. A scream had fled your lungs. You had to kneel and feared more of the floor would give in. Trying to pull free only made the floor creak more.

“Your Highness!!” Lancelot’s voice rang through the hallway as he hurried towards you.

You were relieved to see help come your way. “I’m stuck. Be careful! The floorboards are creaking under me.”

He carefully got closer, testing the floor with his boots to feel and hear his way to you. “It may just be where you are.” Fortunately he managed to get close. “Are you hurt?”

You gave a nod. “My ankle. The wood is cutting into it when I try to move.”

He made you put your arm around his shoulder and began to move the skirt of your gown aside just enough to see the problem. Even just a glimpse of your ankle had the poor former monk’s cheeks flushing, the pinkish hue to his cheeks suited him well.

The back of his hand was between the sharp edges of the broken wood and your skin, protecting you from further harm as he helped free your foot from the hole in the floorboard. You yelped when standing on your feet again, feeling the cuts the splintered wood had caused.

He looked around for a moment, then brought you to your chambers. He had you sit down on the soft leather covered bench near the fireplace. Speechless you stared as he went around the room, collecting what he’d need to help. You were still trying to find the right way to say it when he knelt down beside you and reached out to move the hem of the gown again. Quickly you grabbed his wrist to stop him.

He glanced up at you, eyes inquisitive, your touch had distracted him from the task. “I only wish to help you.”

You believed his word. “I know. But you of all people should know well how inappropriate this is.”

He was brave enough to question why you thought that, “Because of the vow I once took?”

It was hard not to smile when he sounded amused by it. “Yes. Or are monks allowed to touch a woman now?”

He clicked his tongue and smiled. “It is still strongly forbidden. But as a knight I find it more inappropriate to not aid my queen. I will not speak of this to anyone and it will spare you a walk to the infirmary across the castle.”

He had a point. You were never eager to visit a healer or the infirmary and walking all the way across the castle with a sore ankle would not be pleasant at all.

He watched as you let go of his wrist. “Allow me to help you. And I will go to the infirmary after this to fetch something for the pain. Agreed?”

To answer that, you moved the skirt of your gown up so he could use that damp cloth he had ready. You saw his neck flush. Eye-contact seized to happen until he was done dabbing the little blood away from your ankle and part of your lower leg.

With a piece of linen, that he had cut off of one of the bed linen, he bandaged your ankle to keep the cuts clean. Not one second had went by when you could ignore how gentle he was handling this, how warm his hands were. He had been fully focused on this, on helping you, any other knight or guard would have dragged you to the infirmary and let a healer handle it. But not him…

It slipped from your thoughts before you could prevent it, “You are so different from them.”

He had been inspecting the knot in the bandage to ensure it sat secure but not too tight, now his gaze lifted to yours.

He would have asked what it meant, but when his eyes met yours he could have sworn he saw in them what he so longed for. Could it be?

A silence fell between you, the unspoken lingered in the air once more. This had not been the first time such silence had fallen, it had always occurred when the truth threatened to free itself. You could not allow the truth to be free and still… part of you wanted to believe he knew the truth already. You reached down and smoothed out the skirt of your gown again, seeing him swallow hard and looking uncertain.

He cleared his throat and got up from the floor. “I hope I have not made you uncomfortable?”

“No. I fear I soon may grow too comfortable with you, my king will not approve of it.”

“Why is it that a king can grow far too comfortable with another, while his queen is not even allowed to let a knight help her ankle?”

You knew he was alluding to your husband’s chain of mistresses. How freely Elroy behaved so shamefully without consequences.

“Because he is king.”

“And therefor his queen should suffer in silence?”

“I do not want to speak of this.”

“I have one question I wish to ask, if you allow it?”

You gave a nod.

“If you could choose another life, would you?”

“Depends on what kind of life we are speaking of.”

“One where you are free of this golden cage you have been trapped in.”

You stood up. “I am not in a cage!”

“Then why are you not free to do as you please? You are a queen, you of all people should have the power to do anything you wish for.”

“Why are you saying this to me?…”

“I was trapped once. I see the same hopelessness in your eyes that once could be seen in mine.”

“Sympathy…” you scoffed. “I do not need pity, Ser Lancelot.”

“I do not pity you.” He frowned. “I fear for your life if the king continues his behavior. Kings tiring of their wives is not uncommon. I do not wish to see you be replaced if he dares to choose another queen for himself.”

You were quiet for a moment, unable to meet his eyes out of fear that it would cause your tears to break free. By taking a step back and gesturing to the door, you let it be known that this conversation was over.

He knew when he was being dismissed. But unlike your other knights and guards he did not always listen to a command, it seemed that this was one of those times.

You sighed a little, knowing how stubborn he could be. “Ser Lancelot-”

He kept his voice on a low volume, “If he ever shows such intent, come to me. Warn me of it.”

You looked down at the floor at his blatant protectiveness. For a moment neither of you moved.

It was him who broke the building tension and headed for the door. “I will arrange for the floor to be repaired and have a guard bring you a vial for the pain.”

“Thank you.���

Of course your voice had to waver on those two words. Hoping that he had not noticed was futile, you saw it in his eyes as he had halted by the open door. Hidden truth was spoken through the silence of a shared gaze, a look which lasted too long to be innocent, a softening in his eyes that made you forget how to breath normally. You forced yourself to turn away and breathed in deeply when hearing the door fall shut again.

What were you doing? A married queen growing enamored with her knight… if Elroy knew he’d have him executed for it. You could not allow it, would not… there was no hope.

    ~~~♡~~~♡~~~♧~~~♡~~~♡~~~

  You had not expected dinner to go the way it went. Elroy had been sitting beside you until his newest mistress had walked into the dinning hall. Elroy had beckoned her over and to your shock he told her right in front of all to see, and those close enough to hear, that he wanted her to come along to his bedchamber in that very moment. Frozen you sat on the chair, forced to watch your unfaithful husband walk with his mistress on his arm through the dinning hall and take her to his bedchamber.

The eyes of the room were on you and taking a sip of water did nothing to hide how the cruel humiliation was affecting you. Your hand trembled around the tankard, putting it down on the table again was the only way to hide it.

Lancelot had been sitting only a few chairs away from Elroy and wiped his hands clean on one of the linen provided for it, which he then threw down on the table, it was the first thing that betrayed how irritated he was by the situation. He came and took place on the empty chair beside you, politely dismissing the ladies-in-waiting who had been chatting at the table to allow for more discretion. One look from him around the room was enough for the stares to stop, his eyes held a warning for those who would think it proper to disrespect you. He touched your arm, so light and gentle and it still startled you. You quickly looked at him and shook your head discreetly.

Ah yes, the king could run off with his mistress in front all, but his queen was not allowed to have a comforting touch to her arm. It was no wonder many noblewomen were unhappy.

The risk of it costing his title or head did little to deter him, he withdrew his hand and pointed at your tankard. “Shall I fetch you more water?”

“No, thank you.”

“Something else to eat?”

“I lost my appetite.”

“He is a fool.”

You gasped quietly at his statement, eyes wide. “Ser Lancelot! You cannot say these things-”

He sat back more in his chair, eyes still on you. “Many here think it.”

Your eyes fixed on the plate under your eyes. “I believe they see me as the fool.”

He leaned forward, dropping his voice to a low volume, “Not all here prefer the king, Your Highness. They see you, they see a queen much wiser than her king.”

With a deep breath, you forced the question out, “Why does he treat me so?”

Why were you not enough? Why did he enjoy causing this humiliation to you? Had he ever even loved you?

Lancelot had not expected the question. “Your Highness-”

Not shedding a tear in the face of so much pain was difficult. “What do I do wrong? Why am I not enough for him?”

He reacted impulsive and fast, putting a hand over the one you had on the table to take hold. “Stop. You are not at blame for his idiocy. He is selfish and never sated, not by power, women or gold. Greed is in his blood.”

You sat frozen, looking at the hand resting on yours. Hit by the realization how much you craved a warm touch such as this. He blinked, suddenly becoming fully aware of what he had done. There was a change in his eyes when you did not rush to pull your hand away to scold him for it. The look shared between you told a secret not meant to exist, one that would cost you your lives if the king learned of it. Slowly you pulled your hand back, knowing deep down that a bond beyond duty had formed, that it was too late to guard your heart against someone who was already inside it.

“Ser Lancelot-”

He was quick to respond, “Yes, my queen?”

Taken aback by the way he had addressed you, you nearly forgot what you were about to say. ‘My queen’? Your heart took a leap of joy at the small sign of affection, oh how depraved it felt of it. “Will you accompany me on a walk through the gardens?”

For a second all he did was stare, then cleared his throat. “Of course.”

You stood up from the table and waited for him. Together you headed to the gardens, the sky was darkening but the weather still felt comfortable. For minutes there was only silence, his arm brushing against yours a few times by accident as he walked beside you.

You were the one to break the silence. “You spoke of another life to me. I wish to let you know that I would respect your decision if you chose to pursue another kind of life. I know the duties that knights have can prevent them from seeking a companion to share life with. But I want my knights to have the freedom to have a life outside of duty.”

His eyes narrowed ever so little as he plucked apart what you had told him. “Thank you, Your Highness. But my life here has allowed me to ensure Percival will have a brighter future. We are content.”

It slipped out, “Do you never feel lonely?”

He stole a glance. “Does that worry you?”

“Yes,” you dared to admit.

“I shall answer that question if you answer it as well.” There was a slight arch to his brow. Always digging for the truth you kept buried under a smile.

A speck of truth is what you could give. “I have felt less lonely these past months.”

He folded his hands behind his back. Quietly admitting, “I share the sentiment.”

His eyes were enthralling, captivating a part of your soul you had believed to be lost long ago. If only you had not been forced to wed a man you did not love, perhaps matters would have been different.

He let his eyes fall to the grass. “How is your ankle?”

“Better, thanks to you. And I see you have survived the sin of helping me.”

“Barely,” he jested.

It made you wonder. “Do you still pray?”

After a short silence, he gave a nod. “It has become a force of habit I believe.”

You feared he’d consider you too nosy. “And do you feel relieved after?”

He averted his eyes, the question more personal than you could have known. “No. It still feels as if I pray to a void where only darkness is my answer in return.”

Without thinking, you touched his arm. “You can always come to me when you seek a listening ear, you must know that. I cannot imagine how difficult it must be to spend your whole life in the clergy and then break away from it.”

His gaze fell to the hand you had on his arm and he put his own over it to keep it there a little longer. “It is difficult, but I find comfort in knowing that I fled before nothing of me was left.”

You couldn’t resist feeling his bicep just a little, disguising it under a comforting squeeze. “And so began your path to your truest self.”

“A path you helped me find and walk on.”

“You’re the one taking the steps, Lancelot.”

“Because your faith in me encourages me.”

You drew your hand back, already missing his warmth. “I am glad to hear that.”

He was impulsive, catching your hand in his before it could get far. It was so easy to forget this was crossing a line. Was there even a line if you wanted this? His touch should not have made you want to smile but it did, you tried to hide it by looking down at the grass.

It was when he took a step closer that your eyes snapped up to his to read the intention from them. He was looking around carefully, scanning the garden for curious eyes. He turned your hand, palm facing up, and lightly brushed the tips of his index and middle finger over it. A touch so light and yet it traveled all through your body, your chest heaved as it tried to control your breathing.

He was studying your reaction, reading you like an open book. “I know.”

Your eyes widened, questioning his own. He couldn’t possibly have meant… “What do you mean?”

Again his fingers brushed up and down over your palm, feeling well how your hand trembled in his own. He repeated it quieter, voice filled with the unspoken truth that threatened to be voiced once more, “I know.”

You drew your hand back, feeling more vulnerable than ever before. This was not good, him alluding to being aware of your affection for him was too close to the truth reaching the light. It was too dangerous. From afar you could see Ser Finnian beckon for you and you were grateful for the distraction. Without a word to Lancelot, you headed to Ser Finnian, guessing correctly that he would follow.

        As you headed to your room for the evening, Ser Finnian was speaking of some important matters regarding the villages whilst Lancelot followed a few steps behind him in silence. Elroy had grown hated by many in the kingdom, he was having roads guarded and prevented some villages from importing the needed flour and other necessities by wagon. This was to force the villages into agreeing to pay more of their income to him. You hated his tactics, his antics. The people were starving and you doubted they would not retaliate soon if Elroy did not end the roads blockages.

As if he knew people were speaking about him, Elroy turned the corner of the hallway and spotted you. You sighed quietly at the sight of him, he must have grown tired of his mistress for the night again. He acknowledged Lancelot and Finnian first, then set his eyes on you.

Elroy was mistrusting. “In important conversation with our knights, my queen?”

“Ser Finnian has brought to my attention that you are still having the roads guarded.”

He saw no fault. “Indeed.”

You confronted him, “We cannot let this continue. They must be able to bring in the wagons with their harvest.”

“We?” He sounded reprimanding, “I decide when they deserve their freedom back.”

It was infuriating. “They are starving!”

Elroy showed not an ounce of empathy for them. “Good. Let them starve, it will set an example.”

He turned away, tiring of the conversation that was not going the way he wanted it to go. You walked after him, grabbing him by the sleeve to make him stop ignoring your opinion on the matter.

You could tell that he did not like it at all when you ‘stepped out of line’. “The only thing it will do is cause them to hate you even more than they already do. You ask too much of them-”

Elroy struck your cheek, the force of it sending you stumbling and hitting the wall hard with your arm. It had not been the first time but never before had he dared to do it in front of others to see.

Ser Finnian had to physically step in front of Lancelot to stop him getting closer to the king.

“Don’t.” Ser Finnian whispered to him. He still saw the focus of the his fellow knight on the king and grabbed hold of his arm.

Elroy spoke viciously to you, “I did not ask your opinion. You would do best to keep silent.”

Your cheek felt like it had been burned and you forced yourself not to let the tears of the shock show. “Ignoring my advice will not spare you from the anger of our people!”

Elroy looked towards the knights present. “See my wife to her chambers. Ensure she does not leave them again tonight.”

Elroy walked past you as if you were nothing more than air to him and once again you were left to handle the wreckage he left behind in his wake.

“Your Highness.” Ser Finnian remained formal, obeying the command of his king as he gestured to the direction of your chambers. Lancelot stepped to your direction but he stopped him. “I will guide the queen to her quarters. Head to your own, I believe you need a moment to clear your head before you make a mistake.”

There was no ignoring the warning under the ‘advice’ Lancelot was being given. And perhaps it was wise, all could see the fury burning in his eyes. With dented pride you started walking towards your quarters, not willing to get the knights into trouble for failing to execute the order they were given.

Lancelot turned to Finnian. “We are commanded to protect her, yet we have to stand aside and watch as the king strikes her?” It came out sharp.

Ser Finnian half-turned to him. “We obey his command. Our queen can withstand him.”

In other words, you were left to undergo the king’s wrath alone. Was the duty of a knight not to protect and fight for the good of all?

    ~~~♡~~~♡~~~♤~~~♡~~~

  It was deep in the night when soft knocking on the door startled you awake. First you grabbed the candle holder from the nightstand, then went to open the door, ready for anything behind the door. A pair of concerned blue eyes met your inquisitive glance upon opening the door.

You became very aware that you were in your chemise and hid a little behind the door whilst blindly putting the candle holder down on the dresser beside it. “Lancelot? Goodness, it’s the midst of the night.”

His confession fell, “I had to see if you were alright.”

Such concern, the worry in his voice, the true face of empathy he often tried to hide. Your heart felt like it was fluttering and it spread a pleasant feeling all throughout your chest and up your neck.

You gave a quick nod to put his mind at ease. “I will be fine.”

He had build up the courage within him. “May I step inside for a moment? I wish to speak with you, in private.”

The door felt like the only thing still standing between the unspoken and you, it would have been so much simpler to hide behind it, to use it as the last shield to protect your heart and future. But when he put his hand lightly on the door and brought it closer to where yours held the edge of it, your resolution broke.

You stepped back from the door, leaving it open, letting him choose to cross this line together. He quietly opened it more and stepped into the room, aware of how inappropriate this visit was he closed the door as quietly as he could. You quickly went to grab your warm robe to cover yourself up more. He was mere steps behind you when you turned around again after haphazardly putting on the robe.

You swallowed down the nerves. “What was it that you wished to speak to me about?”

He startled you by reaching out and touching your cheek that had received the hit not long ago. “That bastard…”

Some of the fury still simmered in his eyes, embers ready and willing to burn those at blame for it’s cause.

The tender touch made your heart ache. “It had been a while since he last struck me.”

“Has he done it since I am here?” His thoughts forced him to ask it.

Had you been in danger right under his nose before? He had his suspicions that the king had violent tendencies from the way he had seen you flinch once weeks ago, but this? The king hitting his queen for all to witness proved he feared no consequences for it.

You forgot how to think, the warmth of his touch was a welcome one. “No.”

He saw you take a step back, saw how you timidly cast your gaze to the floor. “You do not deserve the humiliation he forces on you. You are a queen by birthright, your power is equal.”

“What do you suggest I do? He is my husband-”

He did not hold back, his tone was sharp, “Annul the marriage. Leave him to rot in the misery he will create.”

You nearly gasped at hearing it. He was a knight and to serve the king, not convince the queen to leave him. “Do not speak of such a thing. If he hears of it he’ll have you executed, he’ll have us both executed…”

“Would you tell him?”

Slowly you shook your head. “I will not lose my most skilled knight.”

It was a grave risk he took when he set a step closer again, he folded his hands together behind his back as if to resist what he wished for. “My queen, King Elroy’s spells of anger will worsen. I beg you, do not make me have to watch how he will rain his fury upon you.”

You feared the future, feared to hear the truth be spoken aloud. In your mind you pushed it away, “Your duty is to serve as a knight-”

He was stern, refusing to be silenced on this matter. “I was appointed to protect you, and I will, even if it be from the King himself.”

“Lancelot…” You shook your head, falling silent.

There was no waver in his voice now that he let his true thoughts free, “My loyalty lies with you, my queen. It has been with you since the day you welcomed me here. Without you, Percival and I would have been cast out at best and be left to survive in the woods. But you… you gave us shelter. You gave me a chance.”

You could not look away from him, he spoke with such conviction and strength.

He knelt down before you, tilting his head down in obedience. “I swore my sword to your kingdom but I cannot stand aside as it’s queen is left dishonored. I can no longer serve the king. I cannot betray my heart that beats not only to serve but to love the queen faithfully.”

You stepped back fast. “You must leave, Ser Lancelot. This cannot happen.”

He lifted his gaze up from the floor, pieces of his shattered soul were to be found in his eyes. “Then you must call for the guards, my queen. Because I will not leave you in the hands of the king. I swear I will not hesitate to turn my blade against him if he lays a hand on you again.”

If he would not leave, then you would, you had to. Your gaze went to the door mere seconds before your feet began to hurriedly travel to it. Your hand was on the door handle, Lancelot’s hand fell flat on the door and held it shut. His sudden close proximity made your blood start to rush, you did not dare look at him as he stood beside you. Sometimes you forgot how quickly he could react in situations like this when he was truly alert.

His voice was a whisper meant to persuade, “I can protect you.”

It felt hard to breath normally. “I am a queen. My king will never let me go.”

His hand slid down over the wood of the door, until it was just above your own. “Do not concern yourself over what he would do. Say you wish to leave his side and leave the rest to me.”

Your eyes remained on the wood, never before had your body felt so unstable. Every fiber in your being was attuned to him now, you felt his breath on the side of your face, his warmth was radiating off of him, his whole presence left you shaking in your bones.

You sensed his intentions but feared what would happen if they were spoken out loud. “What are you asking of me?”

His other hand landed lightly on your back and you jolted a little, your eyes still did not leave the wood. “I have lived a life in the clergy, I know that makes me a less than desirable match for one born a queen but I would do all within my power to give you the love and happiness you deserve.”

You couldn’t believe this was happening, that he would truly speak this out loud. If anyone heard it would cost him his life. And it would cost you yours if Elroy ever knew just how many times you had dreamed of this happening.

“Lancelot, please.” You pressed your eyes shut, feeling the tears brim in them. “I do not want to see you hurt because of me.”

Silence overtook the room, all you heard were your and his breathing. The atmosphere was loaded and the tension increased with each passing second. Something was about to happen if you would not seize control and command him to obey you. But you could not bring yourself to voice a command, he thrilled you in ways he should not have.

“I will love you, my queen,” he whispered against your hair. “Not as a knight, but as just a man.”

You swiftly turned, grabbed hold of his collar and tugged firmly, your lips pressed to his. Soft, a slight prickle of his mustache, hot breath that came in the form of a quiet gasp from him.

What were you doing… what had you done? It had shocked yourself and you quickly let go and tilted your head down.

He stood motionless, just like you. Seconds passed before he very slowly touched his fingers to your chin, tilting it to make you look at him. Your gaze locked on his eyes, seeing how they filled with the dangerous mixture of want and hesitation, only one could change everything.

Such soft lips. His queen had kissed him and now you looked so frightful of his response. He would hang for this if caught, but he had accepted death long before coming here.

His lips descended on yours, sealing your faiths. He did not expect you to reciprocate with the passion you showed. You held him close, arms wrapping around his neck, entrapping him. If you were to suffer the punishment, you would do the crime well.

“My queen…” his chest vibrated against yours. The touch of his hand grazed over your waist. His hot breath was near your ear, “My beautiful queen…”

“Lancelot… I…” your voice was a trembling mess. “I…”

“I know.”

He spoke your name, not your title, soft and full of undeniable longing. You were entwined with him, feeling loved for the first time since long.

The sound of guards walking by the door brought your mind back to reality. You broke away to compose yourself and calm your racing heart. He was as rattled as you were, breathing just as heavily. You hugged the robe around you, a boyish smile curved his lips as he looked at the floor.

“Uhm…” You didn’t know what to say. But you did know that him remaining there longer would only heighten the risk of getting caught.

His gaze glided to the door, then back to you. “You want me to leave?”

“If they found you here…”

He was understanding of it, well aware that what was done was punishable by torture, death or most likely both. His hand landed on the door handle, yours landed on top of his a second later.

“How did you know?” you quietly inquired.

With a gentle smile he looked at you. “You look at me differently. And you smile when our eyes meet. You stare. And I have been in enough fights to know when one is not staring at me with ill-intent.”

Flustered, you evaded your gaze. Had you truly been so obvious to him? Had others noticed it too?

He touched his fingers to your chin again and stole another sweet kiss. “I hope you will sleep well, Your Highness. Know that I am only a few doors away from here if you should need me.”

You gave a slow nod and caught yourself wishing he did not have to leave. But you let him walk out of the room before someone could find him there. If Elroy learned of this betrayal, the consequences would be truly dire.

    ~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~

  The next two days it was hard to keep up appearances, to pretend the moment shared between you and Lancelot had not happened. But his stolen glances and your secret smiles filled your days. Nothing more had happened, no kiss or touch, as if both of you did not know how to maneuver the situation. It was perhaps wise, the risk was great and the temptation even greater.

All had been calm, until tonight. Elroy had taken some of the knights and guards, including Lancelot, with him when he had traveled to one of the villages to see for himself if his tyranny was successful in demolishing the people’s moral. Hours passed and there was no sign of their return yet. The weather had taken a turn for the worse. Rain was pouring down over the lands, thunder and lightning filled the sky. You stood at a window, growing more concerned by the hour. The concern was not for Elroy, it was for your Fey knight. This was abnormal and you had send a group of guards out hours before to search for them. It was that group that you saw return and you hurried down all the stairs to the entrance hall to see what information they might have.

One guard approached you, his attire soaked by the rain. “We did not find them, Your Highness. They must have taken another road. We went to the village where they claim they saw them leave hours before our arrival.”

You tried to stay composed but inside you feared the worst. “Those who have searched for them now will remain at the castle and rest. Send two more search parties to find them.”

He tilted his head down in submission, accepting the command.

The fear in your eyes could so easily be seen as a sign you were worried for your husband instead of the man your heart had promised itself to. The looks of sympathy from the knights and guards present were aimed at you.

The doors suddenly swung open, the wind outside making them more stubborn to allow entrance. The guards and some of the knights who had left with Elroy hours ago walked into the entrance hall. Their clothes drenched in mud, rain and blood. Lancelot and Ser Finnian were two of the last who walked in. Lancelot was supporting a wounded Finnian and let him sit down on one of the benches that stood against the wall. You frowned at the doors, wondering why Elroy had not entered the castle yet.

One of the younger knights came to bring you the news, he knelt with a sorrowful expression. “The king is dead, Your Highness.”

You stared at him as his head tilted down, he feared looking at you now, feared the reaction to come. You looked at the others for an explanation, for one of them to come and tell you that the young knight was mistaken or confused, but they all just awaited your reaction. Was this truly happening? If Elroy was truly dead, you were immediately the one ruling over the kingdom, on your own… Their eyes sought guidance, instructions, anything.

You were trying to make sense of the situation that felt so surreal. “He is dead? How can he be dead? What on earth happened out there?”

“Lancelot-” Ser Finnian started coughing. “Tell her.”

Lancelot stepped forward, his clothes soaked by rain and blood much like the others. “We were ambushed on our return to the castle. The rain and darkness made it difficult to know everyone’s location. The king must have lost sight of us. We found him after the battle.”

You stepped closer to him, it had sounded too practiced, too calm for how unexpected this must have been. “Ambushed… by who?”

His eyes told a truth he would not speak aloud. “One of the groups terrorizing the villages had made their liar near the path we were riding on. They were dealt with.”

You were no fool, Elroy was a talented sword fighter, he would not have met his demise so easily. “You failed to protect the king?”

Something flashed in his eyes mere seconds before he knelt down in front of you, submitting himself to your mercy. You looked at the others, counting only a few surviving guards and realized all of them had always favored Elroy. And two days ago Ser Finnian had stood aside and not even tried to help you when Elroy struck you. Could it be that Lancelot… surely not… The puzzle was falling into place and told you of how far your Fey knight was willing to go for you.

You stepped away from him, commanding the others, “Bring the wounded to the infirmary. Have the body of the king retrieved, the people must be assured that their king has passed.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” some of them answered in choir.

“I do not want to be disturbed tonight,” you told them.

They were quiet for such a large group, all were trying to process the events in their own way and they respected your wish to be left alone. They must have assumed you were in mourning. Instead you tried to think of how to confront Lancelot with what you believed had truly happened in the forest.

    ~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~

  It did not take long for him to find you, there was one place in the castle you liked retreating to when you were troubled. He set foot into the library and made certain to close the door behind him, it proved there were secrets in the air that he did not want to share with those outside the library.

You sat at the table, the words finally spilling from your lips, “By who’s sword did Elroy really perish?”

He stopped in his tracks, tensing up. His mouth opened to speak then decided against it. The look in his eyes said it all.

Deep down you knew the truth of the matter. He had not picked those guards to come along on the trip to the village at random. You knew that Lancelot knew well what areas were safe and which ones were not. Elroy was led right into their hands by him. The only thing you were uncertain about was who had truly been the one to kill Elroy. One of the attackers, or one of his own knights.

You confronted him, “You led him right into their hands.”

He did not deny it, eyes locked on yours to read your response to knowing the truth.

It was not even a shock. Maybe it should have been, but you had seen the fury in his eyes after Elroy had struck you again. “Have you gone mad? If anyone learns of this-”

“No one will know unless you wish to tell them.”

“What if I did? Would you kill your queen as well?”

He came closer, kneeling just next to the chair you were sat on. “You know I would never harm you. Tell everyone. It does not matter what happens to me as long as you are safe.” He let out a small sigh. “He would have worsened in time, I have seen enough men like him. With him gone, you rule this kingdom. Now I can be certain that Percival will not be raised under the command of a tyrant.”

You were quiet for a while, fidgeting with a book on the table. “Was it quick?”

He was drawn to the emphatic side of you. “I cut his throat. It was over quickly.”

“No one else can ever know of this. He was killed by the attackers in the ambush.” You locked eyes on him. “Perhaps, after some time has passed, we will not be met by stares or suspicion if we…”

He guessed the rest you were too shy to speak. “I shall be here at your side, hoping that in time you will allow me to be more than a knight to you.”

“You want to be king then?” you jested.

“No.” He shook his head, took hold of your hand and placed it where his heart rested in his chest. “I want you. Not a title or crown.”

It was impossible to pull your eyes away from him. You rose to stand. “I’m afraid that will be difficult.”

There was an instant flash of hurt in his eyes, it vanished when he saw the smile curve your lips and knew you were teasing him. He stood up from the floor.

Your fingers curled into the fabric of his aketon, gripping a light hold. “It will be difficult for us to be together without you receiving a title, you are courting a queen, Ser Lancelot.”

His gaze fell on your hand and how it was gently tugging him closer.

“I could name you my consort.” Purposely you fixed your eyes on his lips. “But I’d prefer to call you my king.”

He dared to carefully jest about it, “We have yet to bury the last one.”

You knew he was making a lighthearted comment, but others could easily have the same reaction to it. “He did not even wait for my death to flaunt with other women. He struck and humiliated me. I should feel ashamed for betraying my husband, but I do not. Once I had believed there was hope for my marriage, until I heard the guards speak of what was happening behind my back. I was denied love and I had accepted that. What I could not accept was his disloyalty and lies. If a queen cannot trust her king, then what point is there?”

He cupped your face in his hands, cradling your head. “Not many will weep for his death. You owe no one an explanation for not mourning him.”

You slowly nodded. “I fear they will consider me cold.”

His thumb brushed over your chin. “I have heard enough villagers speak to know that that fear should have no ground to exist on. He might have been king, but they bow to the queen.”

He could silence your fears so effortlessly, even now with his cloak soaked in a mixture of blood and rain. You broke away and pulled him along to a more secluded part of the library, stacks of books on shelves cast their shadows and provided the needed discretion. He was no fool and read your intentions right from your eyes, willingly letting himself be tugged against you, gladly obeying his queen’s wishes.

“Hmm,” You hummed and took hold of his hands to place them on your waist, your own glided up his chest. “What shall I call you when the weeks of obligated mourning pass? "

He let himself be pulled in closer, eyes falling shut when he felt your lips touch the side of his neck. “I… It does not matter what you call me, as long as I may call you my queen.”

“I will make you a king, Lancelot.” You breathed teasingly against his skin, whispering, “My king.”

That very breathy whisper made him claim what he had wanted more than any title. Your lips were at his mercy when he kissed you with a fiery eagerness that send shivers all through your veins.

You had given up on love, sacrificed it for the sake of duty. And now it was here, all consuming and everything your heart had longed for.

A new reign had begun.

Taglist:

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[mrsriddlenott]

<<Prev SIX

[Series Masterlist][Main Masterlist]

Ex-Sneaky Link!JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

After months of hooking up with JJ in secret, you both began developing deep feelings for each other, but when his friends, Kie especially, learn of your relationship and plot on it's downfall JJ leaves you reeling and confused as he enters a relationship with his best friend leaving you to wonder what you did to push him away so quickly. Unbeknownst to you however. the blonde was struggling more than he let on, wanting nothing more than to go his own path but feeling trapped with those who used to make him feel free. The only person he can think of now that makes him feel as open as he once did is.... you.

Warnings: cheating, mentions of addiction, fighting, lying, and general angst. No happy ending(yet). This Chapter is the end of part 1 of “Oh, It’s You”. I have some plans for more, but I wanna work it out before I "promise" it.

Word Count: 6.7k

It took me a while to get this part out because it is a finale of sorts and I kept thinking of stuff that could be fixed or changed. I think I got it how I want it now so please lmk what y’all think.

~~~~

When JJ woke up surrounded by your scent in your bed with you lying beside him, it felt like he was floating. If it weren’t for his throbbing headache, he would have thought it was a dream. You looked cozy, snuggled under a different blanket, your head peacefully lying on a different pillow, clearly trying to keep your distance. But you were facing him, and he thought you looked beautiful like this.

On instinct, his hand moved up to drag a piece of hair out of your face, caressing your cheek slightly as he watched you breathe in deeply, stirring from your peaceful sleep. His head pounded still, but his smile grew as your eyes fluttered open, staring up at him like nothing was wrong. Like this was morally correct.

“Goodmorning,” He whispers, looking into your sleep-riddled eyes, reminding him of all the nights you two spent together in his bed. “You look absolutely gorgeous. You have no idea how much this means to me.” 

Your heart ached as you looked into his eyes, a sweet smile growing on his face while he let his eyes bounce between yours.

“Goodmorning, Jay.” You try to keep a steady, trained voice, shifting to get up as JJ pulls back slightly shocked. He thought everything would be okay now, his heart sinking as you shifted to get out of the bed. His eyes linger on you as you make your way to your bathroom door.

“Do you still want me to keep my distance?” He asks, his voice shaking with nerves, halting your hand on the doorknob.

“I think that’s for the best, yeah, you’re with Kie and-“

“Come on y/n, I know you know that if you say the word-“ JJ doesn’t say the rest, watching how you turn to him with anger written all over your face.

“How could you say that?” You snap, staring at him as he makes his way out of your bed and over to you.

“Because you’re the one I want, y/n, you always have been,” JJ sighs, stepping closer to you slowly like someone approaching a wounded animal, “Because you make me happier than anyone ever has.”

“If this were the other way around again, would it be that easy to just up and leave me? How could I ever trust that you won’t get bored with me again?” You snap, staring at his confused face. You were deflecting, you knew that, you wanted to hear these words for so long, but everything was different now.

JJ could never know about your past.

“What, no, of course not.” JJ sounded angry at the thought, “You can trust me, you know me.”

“Do I? Cause right now I don’t think I do.” You avoid his eyes as you slowly start to pace in front of him. Thinking of all the horrible ways he could react to what he doesn't know.

“What are you talking about, y/n? You know damn well I would be loyal to you.” His eyes find yours for only a second before you’re avoiding them again.

“How do I know that? You weren’t the first time.” You snap, finally walking past him, avoiding any physical contact. You couldn’t look at him without all the horrible things he could say when he finds out swimming through your mind. 

“Yes, I was! We weren’t even really together, and I was loyal to you.”

“Just because you didn’t fuck anyone else doesn’t mean you weren’t disloyal, choosing Kie and your friends over me makes you disloyal in my eyes, you led me on and made me think something was going to happen and then up and left me.” You sigh, trying to release all your pent-up emotions without taking them out on him. You stare at JJ with rage-filled eyes, “And now you want me to trust you again?”

JJ stares at you wide-eyed and open-mouthed. He didn’t know what he was supposed to say, what he could say to that. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He stuttered out, knowing it was weak but having nothing else.

“Well you did JJ,” You yell, an exasperated look on your face as you turn away from him again, “Look I get it, they were there for you your whole life and I’m not going to tell you to choose because that would be unfair, but I can’t keep acting like this, what we’re doing here isn’t entirely fucked up of us.”

“So what do you want me to do?” JJ asks, his voice so soft and small. You could tell he was truly upset, but you had to push forward, and then maybe you could move on.

“I think you should leave.” You don’t look at him, you stay standing facing away from him, unable to face him.

“If I will never have a real conversation with you ever again after I leave here, then-” He pauses, stepping closer to you as he takes a deep breath, “I need to do something.”

In a split second, his hand is on your shoulder, spinning you around and tugging you close to him. Your eyes find his as his hands grip your waist, your own hands resting against his chest to stay upright, “You can’t.” You whisper, trying to believe your own words despite wanting nothing more than to continue.

“Yes, I can, I’ll do what you say, I’ll leave you alone and just do what I have to do, I’ll avoid you, even at work. I won't step foot in your life again until you ask me to, so please just let me do this.” His pleading eyes lock onto yours, and you know that if you were to say no, he would leave without a fight, and you may never have this opportunity again.

“Okay.” You whisper, his lips so close to yours you could almost feel them on you already, and slowly he leaned in. For a second, it felt like nothing about this was wrong, like you were truly his. His hands were gripping your waist like they were desperate to, and they probably were. His lips were soft on yours, displaying none of his raging want and need for the taste of you, because he wanted, no, needed this one to be right. You felt his tears fall down his cheeks and against yours, his lips separating from yours for only a second before falling back into them faster this time. His breath stutters against your lips as he cries, unashamed and desperately wishing you were two different people who didn’t need to worry about everything that was wrong about them being together. 

You break away from the kiss, letting your head fall to his chest as your arms encircle each other. “I’ll find a way to fix this, but for now, goodbye y/n,” He stated simply before unknotting himself from you and turning to take his leave the same way he had come the night before, without looking at you again. Knowing if he saw the look he knew to be in your eyes, he would want to stay forever.

____

JJ avoided not only you but everyone as he wallowed in his self-pity throughout the remainder of the weekend. He hated himself for ever leaving you in the first place, for letting everything get as fucked up as it was. He knew he was an idiot, but this felt different somehow. His phone was full of texts and missed calls, but none of them were from you, so he left them unanswered. When Monday came around, he contemplated calling into Barnes’ office to say he quit and didn’t care if he needed to give a warning, but upon reminding himself that it may be the only way he will ever see you again, he rolled out of bed anyway.

You watched JJ work throughout most of the day, and he watched you; it almost felt calm. A vague sense of acceptance had fallen between you now, like acknowledging that you couldn’t be together yet made it hurt less. But you knew it didn't. The day went by quickly, and the office slowly lost people as they left for their various security details. The calm between you two lasted, and JJ began to hope he could genuinely find a way to fix it. 

Until she showed up.

Kie came crashing through the doors like a storm, eyes locked onto you like you had personally wronged her. Because you had.

“Why are you here, and where is JJ?” Kie spat, eyeing you at your desk so intently she had entirely missed her boyfriend in the corner working on a light.

“Kie, what the hell are you doing here?” JJ asked through gritted teeth, slowly walking up behind her, eyeing the few remaining men with no security detail today, who eagerly listened into the conversation.

“Why didn’t you tell me she worked here?” Kie snapped at JJ, causing a scene as necks slowly craned around to see what was up. Mr.Barnes was out today, and you knew if he were here, he wouldn’t stand for this in his lobby, but as you eyed the two in front of you, you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything at all. Like you knew you had no defense.

“I thought you knew, she has worked here for damn near three years Kie.” JJ states simply, “I wasn’t trying to hide it.”

“So you knew when you got the job?” Kie scoffs, “God, you two just can’t stay away from each other, can you? I warned you about her, and you still keep going after her. She’s poison, she ruins people’s lives and then acts innocent like she’s the victim.”

“Kie, you sound crazy, can we please just do this later when I’m done working? I get off in a few minutes.” JJ pleads, seeing your discomfort as you start to sink in on yourself out of embarrassment.

“Why? To protect her?” Kie laughs, a genuine laugh that sends chills down your spine, “You don’t know half of the person she is.” Kie scoffs as she turns to leave. JJ turned to you with pleading eyes, you could tell he had no clue what he was supposed to do in this situation. You gave him a nod in Kie’s direction, surprising yourself and him in one go.

“This isn’t fair to anyone Jay, it doesnt matter who you have feelings for right now,” You start in a whisper so small only JJ could hear, “You’re with Kie, you made a promise to her when you started dating and before anything moves forward with us you need to talk to her.” JJ almost couldn't believe your words as you spoke, you didn't say you two were impossible, you didn't yell at him for embarrassing you, even though you had that right. You understood his mistake, and you were going to let him fix it. 

“I am going to fix this for us all,” He said, his voice breathless as he started walking quickly, voice rising slightly, “I promise, I'm gonna fix it.” JJ practically ran away, crashing through the doors and into the parking lot. Of course, as though it was karma for all his wrongdoings to her, Kie had already sped from the lot. A bit of a chase ensued as JJ mounted his bike and raced off in the direction of Kie’s house for what may be the last time in a long and complicated friendship, turned relationship, turned possible hatred.

____

JJ couldn’t even remember the drive there, his mind racing with everything he may need to say. Everything he needed to set straight and apologize for. His heart pounded in tandem with his fist beats on her door, and in what felt like only seconds, she answered. As JJ made his way into her living room, hearing the sound of the door shutting behind him as he turned to look at her, he could tell by the look on her face, she was expecting this conversation to go very differently. 

“I wanted to start this by saying I am so sorry,” he started to pace as his excess energy desperately tried to find a place to go, “I genuinly did not mean to hurt you which I have found myself saying a few too many times to a few too many people but I mean it.”

Kie’s eyes darted to follow him, her face shifting, picking up on the way this conversation was inevitably heading. But she stayed silent, letting him continue as she watched him attempt to unravel his anxious web of thoughts. 

“When we first became friends, I thought I was in love with you,” JJ started, his breath uneven but his mind certain of the path he was choosing, “But that was before I knew what love felt like. What it feels like not to be able to resist someone, to feel so connected to someone that when you are apart, it hurts.” 

JJ saw how Kie’s breath hitched, and his heart ached for her, but he knew he couldn’t continue to hide how he felt to save others. His eyes met hers, and he pushed on, “I shouldn’t have wronged you. I betrayed your trust and hurt you, and I wish I could take that back because you were one of my best friends, Kie, and I ruined that.” 

“Did you sleep with her while you were with me?’ Kie asked, tears falling freely down her cheeks as her voice cracked. 

“Not like that, no,” JJ breathes, preparing himself to confess what he knew he now had to, “We’ve been talking again, confiding in each other. I slept in her bed and we kissed, but that is as far as it went. She stopped it.”

Kie scoffs with a shake of her head, turning away from him as she tries to process the information he gave her. He didn’t know if he was supposed to continue, but he did anyway, knowing he had to get it done before he backed out. 

“I love her, Kie, and I know I should have told you when I started to realize, but I felt so much pressure to be perfect for you.” His voice cracked as he pushed on, standing his ground and talking from his heart like he so rarely did, “You chose me, and I wasn’t good enough. I’m not good enough for either of you, but I should have tried harder to be good enough because it’s up to me to be better.”

“And what?” Kie scoffs, anger and sadness evident in her voice, ‘You can try harder now, but not for me, for her?”

“I didn’t mean for it to sound that way. I know I can’t fix what I have ruined between us, but I don’t want to hurt you.” JJ maintains a soft voice as he continues, “What I mean is when something is right, it will work out no matter how much you go through together, and every time we fight, we both come out worse than we were before. We hurt each other and we never get better, we should be growing and coming back into each other after every argument to fix it, but we don’t, because deep down we both know this is wrong.”

Kie’s face softens as she listens to the sound of his voice. JJ watched her intently as she started to speak again, “You’re right, we’re probably not right for each other, and I have tried to force it for too long, but that does not mean I am wrong about her JJ. I am not trying to hurt you when I say there is a lot you do not know about her, and you can’t love someone who won’t let you know the real them. Be careful with her, and get out of my house.”

Her voice was soft and eerie and stuck in his head as he sped through the roads that would lead him to your house. His head flooded with ideas of what you could be hiding from him, what you could have done that you thought he couldn't know. Various heartbreaking scenarios played behind his eyes as he tried to shove them all aside. He would not let Kie ruin this for him, he wanted the moment he finally got to make you his to be perfect. After so many fuck ups and so many road blocks he could almost taste the happiness he wanted to build with you. And as he turned onto your street, his face broke into a smile, the sight of your house getting closer and closer, and the thoughts of doubt slipping further and further behind. 

JJ felt ecstatic, like he was actively riding into his future with you. He allowed himself to imagine a happy life with you, with no distractions and no fucks ups. He would be good to you and your children, he would be better than his father and your father. Everything was lining itself up perfectly, and JJ could feel his smile growing into a full-blown grin as he parked his motorcycle and quickly rounded the house to the side with your window. He scaled the side of your house in record time, not even wasting a second before knocking on the glass panel of your window. JJ hung off the side of your house, eagerly awaiting your acceptance. 

Your heart leaped in your chest, making you almost immediately jump up from where you sat on your bed to rush to open the window. The pounding of your heart picked up and stopped you. Everything you wanted for so long was waiting for you. Kept back by only a thin curtain and a weak panel of glass. But for some reason, your hands went clammy and shot back into your chest instead of tugging the window open. Anything could happen now. If you’re right in your assumption, he’s here to tell you he and Kie are over. But if you’re wrong, all the hope you have built up comes crashing down. 

And even if he is here to choose you, how long until he finds out everything and learns he doesn’t want you at all?

You paced your room for what felt like hours, but in reality, it was only a minute before you rushed forward to let him into your room and your heart again. Eventually, you could tell him, eventually he would be ready to understand, but now wasn’t the time to drop it on him. And leaving him dangling from your window simply wasn’t an option. JJ fumbled into the room. A storm of excitement and passion empties onto your floor with him as he trips and falls onto your rug with a groan. Popping up almost immediately with a look a joy on his face that drew a smile of your own against your will. 

JJ rushed forward, tugging you into him by your hand with a smile and a glint of happiness in his eyes that you had never seen before. How could you ruin this with a confession? 

“We need to talk.” His words came out rushed and out of breath, his eyes were filled with worry, but his hand gripped yours softly, soothing the worry that shot through you at his choice of words.

“I talked to her,” He was breathless still, and even though he didn’t say the name, you knew. “She seemed….understanding, hurt, but not as angry as I was expecting.” His breath hit your lips as he spoke, voice so soft it soothed the raging storm of worry and anxiety in your chest. His lips brushed yours lightly, a soft feather-light kiss that conveyed everything his words couldn’t say, a tingle ran up your spine and warmed your chest as your smile grew and broke the intimate moment.

“So what does this mean for us, Jay?” Your lips still caressed his as you spoke, JJ’s hands instinctively tugging you closer to him as though you would turn and run with his heart if he didn’t hold on. His eyes bore into yours, the ocean that swam in them slowly darkening as his pupils started to eclipse it at the look on your face.

“Come with me?” JJ asked, his voice a beg that betrayed his worry and his wish for this to go perfectly.

“Can’t we just stay here?” You ask with a giggle, eyeing JJ in front of you as he watches your face. He was lost in you, and he didn’t care if you could tell. He could feel how close he was to finally having the happiness he had denied himself long ago, and he wasn’t going to run again.

“No, I think this conversation warrants a more important location,” JJ spoke through a smirk, “Don’t you?” He asked teasingly, urging you to take the risk and come away with him into the night.

“And how are we going to get to this mystery location, Maybank?” You tease, rising from your position on your bed to change into more appropriate clothes, intentionally brushing against him in the process. JJ emits a groan from deep in his chest as his eyes follow you across the room, your legs showing in your short nightgown and teasing him further. 

“Don’t worry, I have my bike.” Your eyes meet his with a glint of mischief, and he smiles at you, knowing you had missed this. Late nights spent with him, not caring who knew where you were or what you were doing together.

“So were you just going to stand there and watch me change, or were you gonna’ be a gentleman and wait outside for me?” His eyes meet yours, a darker blue than usual and pupils fully blown out, a smirk taking over his mouth. 

“You used to like it when I acted improperly for you.” He states matter-of-factly as though it wasn't an entirely inappropriate comment, said so simply. You smiled back at him and wasted no time in dropping your nightgown from your shoulders, revealing your mismatched underwear and bra that practically made JJ drool before quickly covering them again with a simple shirt and loose shorts. 

“You’re gorgeous, you know that, right?” Your cheeks flash red as you approach him, taking his hand in yours and meeting his eyes before leaning in to steal his lips into a soft, sweet kiss. 

“Thank you, Jay, no one has ever said the things you say to me before.” JJ smiles, your lips still ghosting against his when he tugs you toward the window with him, forcing a sequel from you in your surprise. “Where are you taking me, Jay?” You asked between giggles as he turned to slowly descend the side of your house. His motions halt for a split second, and his eyes shoot up to look at you as you lean out your window, your hair swaying slightly in the wind, reminding him of a fairytale princess residing in her beautiful castle. 

“You’ll see,” His voice calm despite the raging storm inside him, “Let me get to the ground first, then follow, I want to make sure you don’t fall.”

“What a gentleman.” You joke, watching him chuckle so softly it was barely audible as he continues his descent. In a matter of seconds, he was eyeing you from the ground, and you were turning to start descending the side, too. You took extra care to sway your hips more than necessary, knowing he would be watching the way your shorts ride up slightly. You laugh to yourself at the feeling of his hands gripping your hips to tug you the rest of the way down as soon as you are within his reach. “I take it back, you are no gentleman.” 

You fall into a fit of giggles before he spins you around in his arms, silencing you when his lips crash into yours, demanding your attention. His hands pull you flush into his chest as your hands link themselves behind his neck, tugging him impossibly closer to you. Your back hits the side of your house, forcing a gasp out of your lips, giving him the perfect opportunity to shove his tongue past them, battling you for dominance as his hands roam over your body, gripping your flesh everywhere he can as though he were starved of you. His right hand runs up your abdomen, caressing your chest as it finds its way to your chin, tugging you away from his lips and forcing a whine from you when he drops his lips down to explore your neck. You laugh breathlessly, dragging your hands down and across his broad shoulders before speaking, “Didn’t you have somewhere to take me, Jay?”

JJ groaned against your neck, the taste of you more distracting than he had expected it to be. He pulled back only slightly, catching your lips with his and trapping them in a slow, sweet kiss before pulling away again. “You’re right, we’ll have plenty of time for more of this when we get there.” He took your hand in his to lead you to his bike, where you both quickly mounted. Both missing the times when you spent hours going nowhere together on this seat, your arms latched around him like muscle memory, hands caressing his chest and letting your nails scratch him softly through the fabric of his shirt. The sensation sent shivers down JJ’s spine, his smile wide on his face as he quickly took the turns he knew well, despite having not been there since you two called everything off. 

“I know where you’re taking me,” You giggle, nipping at his neck with your teeth as you lean in to whisper in his ear, “You always did love your secret little hideouts.” 

“This one more than the others,” He sighed, the feeling of your lips tickling up and down his neck forcing him to slow the speed of his bike to focus, “I haven’t been there since-.”

“Neither have I.” You state matter-of-factly, leaving one final kiss to his cheek before straightening your back to feel the wind against your face, letting him speed up again. The sight of the small, secluded beach area up ahead gave you a jolt of excitement and happiness. Finally allowing yourself to believe that this was actually happening, that this would be your future, and you two could be happy with each other. JJ parked quickly and basically hopped off the bike with excitement, tugging you along with him toward the furthest corner of your small beach, forgotten by the rest of the world. A large alcove created by a vast wall of stone that was once long ago sand under some long-gone human’s feet loomed over you as you approached. The memories of the night he chose them over you flooded your head. This was your spot, where you two would always go when the world was too much for both of you, this spot that shielded you from everything except the other. 

“I missed this place,” You sighed, turning to catch those blue eyes with yours, “I missed being here with you.”

“I missed everything about you y/n,” JJ’s voice was so soft you almost couldn’t hear him, he stepped close quickly, grabbing your hand in both of his as he continued, “I want to be with you so badly, I have wanted it ever since we first started….whatever it was that we had back then, I was just too much of a coward to admit it to you, to my friends, and myself. I was wrong to hide you, and I was wrong to up and leave when it got hard. I will never be able to make up for that.”

“You don’t have to, Jay, I already forgive you.” Your voice was soft and comforting as JJ tugged you closer to him, pulling you into a loving embrace. 

“You’re amazing, the best woman on the planet,” JJ said in a near whisper against your lips, sighing into you as his lips steal yours for a slow, electrifying kiss. “I should have made you mine forever ago.”

“And just to be clear, you and Kie are officially-” You start to ask at the risk of ruining the moment.

“Over,” JJ states quickly, his voice a mix of desperation and relief, “We never should have happened in the first place because it has always been you. Before I knew how much it hurts to be separated from you, I thought people were stupid for falling in love, but I was wrong, because I can’t help it, it’s not a choice where you can just pick someone because you think it will be easier than fessing up. Easier than just telling you that every time I see you, I feel more than I did before.” His voice hitches as he tries to continue, and your hand shoots out to rub soothingly up and down his arm.

“I’m in love with you, I have been for a lot longer than I realized. “His eyes fell to the sandy ground as he pushed forward, his voice cracking like he didn’t want to say the rest, “But-”

You heard the shift in his voice as he tried to continue, for a beat, it felt like he was going to drop the topic, but when his eyes met yours he pushed forward with a worrisome look on his face. You stepped back from him to observe his face; you could tell, as the moonlight hit him, that something was bothering him greatly. He had pushed it aside for your happiness, you stood in the same spot where he had once broken your heart, and it was as if part of him knew the storm that would come upon asking the question lingering on the tip of his tongue. 

“What is it, Jay?” He heard the shake of your voice and knew that even if he wanted to, he would not be able to stop the conversation from coming now.

“She said something before I left her place that I have been ignoring,” JJ started, and your soaring heart dropped. “She said there’s a lot I don’t know about you, that if you don’t let me know the real you, I can’t love you properly, and I agree y/n.” JJ’s words send your eyes dropping to the sand at your feet, you pull back from him, avoiding his eyes and trying to avoid the conversation as a whole. 

“You know me better than anyone, Jay.” Your voice breaks, and your eyes meet his again. The look in his eyes hurts as he so desperately tries to connect to you in the one way you can’t, you wish more than anything that you could be brave enough to tell the truth. But you can’t bring yourself to.

“I can feel that there is something you are holding back.” JJ says as he steps close to you again, “The way she talks about you is so…so angry. I have never heard her as angry as she is when she talks about you, I need to know.” JJ’s calloused hands lightly grab your shoulders, forcing your eyes up to him before he continues. “Why does she hate you so much, y/n?” It was almost like you could physically feel the memories hit you. How much pain you were in, how lost you felt, and how everyone who cared about you left you to drown.

“We used to be friends, she, Sarah, and I all were freshman year and….it just didn’t work out okay.” You couldn't bring yourself to say the words; once you did, everything would change, and you would lose him for good, just like you lost them. Like you almost lost everyone. 

“Come on, y/n,” JJ almost begged, “I need to know what happened, please, I don’t know if I am selfish for asking, but I need to know.” The look of pure desperation on his face broke your resolve, and like a dam breaking, everything came rushing back in. Everything you tried to forget and change coming to the surface all at once like an ugly parasite forever stuck inside you, unchanging and unwilling to leave.

“I was going through a difficult time with my dad back then, and instead of doing the smart thing and telling someone I bottled it up and eventually it came back out,” You tried to look at him as you spoke but couldn’t, sighing and turning away from him before you continuted, “But it wasn’t directed at the right people. I wasn’t a good daughter, and I was a worse friend.”

“Trust me when I say I understand,” JJ tries in a comforting voice as he steps up behind you, “I have been there and I know you, you wouldn’t have done anything to hurt them on purpose.” 

“Except I did hurt them, JJ, I may not have meant to, but I hurt them and I hurt myself because I couldn’t hurt the man who was hurting me.” You let your tears fall as you turned back to face him, your chest tight with worry as he watched your face intently. “Eventually, they found out what was going on, and instead of letting them in, I pushed them away.” You flinched slightly as JJ rushed to wrap his arms around you, tugging you to his chest in a warm embrace that pulled a shaky sigh from you.

“And when they finally started understanding I had already started talking to Rafe and let my anger get the best of me,” your words kept slipping out as if it were that night again and you were begging to be chosen, “I got lost in a different world for a while and I rubbed it in their face and Kie never forgave me. She had a thing for Rafe back then, and she still blames me for what happened after-“

“Wait a second, you did date Rafe?” JJ cuts you off ignoring the rest of your story with a scoff as he roughly pulls away from you and takes a few steps back, “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me when I asked you?”

“It was years ago, I was stupid, and it was not dating. We were close, he was all I had back then except….” JJ’s brows furrowed with anger while he stared at you, your throat clenched, trying to will yourself to speak.

“What aren’t you saying y/n?” He snaps, “What else are you hiding from me?”

“I was an addict, Jay, I still am in a way, just like he is, but I’m clean now. And for a long time, Rafe was the only person who understood what I was going through.” You knew how he felt about Rafe and drugs and addiction. That’s why you couldn’t bring yourself to say the words for so long, you didn’t want him to look at you like he was in this moment. Because you knew that look he was giving you, and it made you want to shrink into a shell you didn’t have. He looked at his father like that, your mother looked at you like that until very recently. You turned away from him as he eyed you; you couldn’t stand it from him. 

“You know how I feel about him.” His voice sounded so different, so full of hurt and anger, you had heard him yell like this before, but you had never once thought you would ever be on the receiving end. JJ could feel himself slipping, but he didn’t hold on; if he had, he would have stopped. Thought it through a bit more and realized how wrong he was. But he didn't think, he couldn't, his mind was clouded with jealousy and a sense of betrayal. His chest started to feel empty, his throat constricting as he thought of everything else you could be keeping from him instead of everything you could have gone through that led you to have this reaction.

 “You told me there wasn’t anything going on between you two.” His voice breaks when he speaks now, his eyes glossing over slightly as he looks at you under the moonlight. You looked so beautiful it hurt, even with your eyes reddened and your hair tousled from the wind. It hurt to think of everyone with a good pair of eyes being able to see you as he did; he wanted to be your only admirer. No matter how crazy it sounded. 

“Well, there isn’t Jay,” You say with a humorless, nervous laugh, “We talked for a bit when I was 16, but it wasn’t dating. He was too old for me and I only started it to piss off my friends and my dad in one go. But it became more than that. And-” You choke on the words, tears welling in your eyes as you try to force yourself to make the confession you had never made to anyone but your therapist. 

“It was my fault he got into drugs; it was my idea. I was having fun, and he wanted to know what it felt like. We got close from shared trauma, but I never felt anything more than friendship for him.” You speak over your shoulder, eyeing the way his brows shoot up in surprise. You turn as you see his face shift into a look of desperate sadness before quickly being masked with an anger you never saw from him. “I know it was stupid, but I was jealous Sarah and Kie chose you guys over me, and then it all snowballed, I got stuck in that world, and part of me truly liked it for a long time.”

“Oh wow,” JJ says with a scoff, your words hitting him so hard he swore his ears were ringing, memories of the night he called everything off swimming back into his mind again.

“I know the type of person she is, JJ, and she will only bring you down just like your Dad,” Kie spat at him, “She’s using you to get back at me, I know her better than you do.” She sighed, “And trust me, I know I’m right, she’s done this before and she’d do it again. That’s what people like her do.”

Kie’s words echoed in his head while he eyed you, the weight of them changing as he looked at you entirely differently now. “I should have fuckin’ known.” JJ snaps, making you flinch backwards from him.

“Should’ve known what? We never even did anything serious. We both just….got caught up in it all.” JJ could hear the desperation in your voice but ignored it, his anger blinding him from seeing the truth directly in front of his face.

“How could you possibly know what you did with him if you were high out of your mind the whole time?” He spat, the words stabbing you directly in your chest as he continues, “How am I supposed to accept that the woman I love is the reason the man who tormented me throughout high school was the menace he was?” JJ’s voice only got louder and more full of anger as he continued. “You could have told me the entire time, and instead you lied to me, like you knew how much it would hurt me.” JJ almost yells, turning and walking off towards his motorcycle, ignoring you while you yell after him to listen the same way you did the first time. You stood watching in almost the exact space you stood that night, watching him choose his pride over you once again.

“Are you serious, JJ? This is how you react to my mistakes after everything I did to help you with yours.” He barely looks at you over his shoulder as he settles onto his bike. “Fine, if that’s what you want to do, then go ahead and leave me again. Just don’t come back this time.”

JJ watches you turn towards the direction of your house, a sense of panic rising in his chest. But the anger blocking him from responding stayed, forcing him to watch as you left his life seemingly for the last time before he sped off alone.

____

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Ex-Sneaky Link!JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

After months of hooking up with JJ in secret, you both began developing deep feelings for each other, but when his friends, Kie especially, learn of your relationship and plot on it's downfall JJ leaves you reeling and confused as he enters a relationship with his best friend leaving you to wonder what you did to push him away so quickly. Unbeknownst to you however. the blonde was struggling more than he let on, wanting nothing more than to go his own path but feeling trapped with those who used to make him feel free. The only person he can think of now that makes him feel as open as he once did is.... you.

Warnings: Emotional Cheating, Flirty Rafe, Fighting, Alcohol Consumption(JJ gets drunk), Fighting and Lying.

~~~~

The second you exited the office JJ was hot on your heels, catching up to you before you could even reach your car. “Rafe is one of Barnes’ clients? Seriously?”

“Well technically not yet but he wants to be.” You answer, avoiding his eyes with the excuse of finding the right button to unlock your door. Before you can however JJ snatches the keys from you, raising his eyebrows challengingly and making you finally turn to look at him.

“I didn’t think he was actually going to show up for the meeting Jay I’m sorry,” You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh, “He’s been canceling the meeting for months now and I genuinely thought he would again, and again until Mr.Barnes finally said no. I wouldn’t have suggested the job had I thought he would actually be coming in.”

“Why didn’t you tell me it was even a possibility?” He snaps, staring at you as you began to shrink before him.

“I don’t know Jay, I wanted you to work with me so I didn’t tell you because I’m a selfish idiot. Mr.Barnes didn’t even want to meet with him after everything and I genuinely thought it would never happen. I’m sorry.” You sigh, staring up at JJ, you had never seen him as angry as he was right now and as your eyes glossed over JJ seemed to notice. His walls breaking, staring down at your slightly scared eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound like a dick.” He sighs, handing you your keys slowly before he continues, “I just really hate Rafe, he’s one of the worst people I have ever met and I guess I just got jealous.”

Your eyes meet his and JJ swears he can see something in them, something telling him you’re scared. Like you’re hiding something. He needs to remind himself he has no right to pry but something nags at him as he watches you avert your eyes away from him once again. He grabs your shoulder gently getting your eyes back on him before he starts speaking slowly.

“I’m sorry, really. You don’t owe me anything.” Guilt rushes through you at his words and you desperately try to keep eye contact with him while he speaks but ultimately you fail.

“I should probably get home Jay. It’s not right that you’re getting jealous about me of all people when you have Kie. Maybe we should start keeping our distance from each other.” You state simply trying to maintain a neutral voice as JJ’s eyes furrow in confusion.

“What? What the hell happened to “I want you to stay”? I thought you wanted me in your life now y/n?” JJ snaps, stepping closer to you even though you don’t say anything, you cant.

You stand still facing away from him, listening to the pleading tone in his voice. JJ watches you, scoffing when you walk forward again getting in your car and driving off. Leaving him confused and upset where he stands in the parking lot.

Luckily JJ made it easy to ignore your feelings for him. He didn’t text you as you made it home and even though you kept checking his contact while getting ready for the evening you knew it was for the best. Part of you even wanted to be woken up with a call from him, asking to be let in, but it never came. So you dealt with the pain you caused yourself alone.

JJ wanted to call you that night, wanted to beg you to rethink but he couldn’t because he knew you were right. He couldn’t bring himself to choose. He couldn’t bring himself to lose you or his friends. And if he couldn’t pick he couldn’t expect you to stay around and just wait. But the thought of you and Rafe had him tossing and turning in Kie’s bed all night, and when he walked into work that next morning a feeling of total dread was settled in his chest. He knew what he wanted, he just had to be brave enough to take it.

And it turns out he just wasn’t.

You ignored him expertly throughout the morning hours, telling yourself your feelings for him were selfish and heartless of you to pursue. Egging yourself on to push everything down further and further by remding yourself of Kie and how you would feel if you were in her place instead. But it didn’t make it easy. It never would.

Despite you wanting your distance JJ found excuses to be near you all morning, coming to clean the floor he already cleaned yesterday just to try and force eye contact to no avail. JJ knew he was acting desperate but he just couldn’t imagine himself ever being able to stay away from you. He knew he had no right to he so angry but when the moment he had been dreading finally came and Rafe’s giant shiny new truck pulled up to the office JJ was already fuming at the sight.

All he could do was watch with barely hidden rage when Rafe sauntered his way through the office doors, making his way to your desk with a smile JJ knew too well. He was early and JJ knew that had to be intentional. He was suddenly early after canceling for months, something about it just didn’t sit right with him.

“Hey y/n, I almost forgot you worked here for a bit,” Rafe remarked with a smirk, leaning against your desk with a nonchalant air about him, “I’m early I know but I was hoping Mr.Barnes could squeeze me in, I had something come up for later”

“Mr.Cameron, I can ask in a few minutes but he’s on a private phone call at the moment.” You try to keep your annoyance out of your tone, expertly avoiding his eyes too as you needlessly stare at you work tablet.

“You’re so professional Y/N, might have to try and steal you from Barnes to come work for me.” JJ scoffs, eavesdropping on your conversation as his eyes burn holes in both you and Rafe.

“I’m not quite sure what I’d do at your club Rafe, I’d much rather stay here where I’m comfortable. But thank you.” Rafe laughed softly, watching you with his deep eyes you had grown to hate.

“I know you can be fun y/n, you may be all professional now but don’t think I forgot our party days.” JJ almost snaps as he listens to the sultry tone Rafe uses with you, the way it comes to him so easily like he’s used it with you before.

“Yeah well not everyone is proud of the worst days of their life Ray.” The name slips from your lips without thinking, and you curse yourself, avoiding Rafe’s eyes again and trying to ignore the burning gaze of JJ.

Are you fucking kidding me? JJ thinks, his teeth gritting together trying to control himself.

“I forgot how much I like when you call me that.” Rafe’s voice takes on a deeper tone you knew very well, forcing your eyes up to his just as it always used to.

JJ watches how you look at him, like you were in his trance, like you were a deer caught in headlights. He could feel the anger bubbling over in his chest, he knew he couldn’t, shouldn’t, feel this way. But he couldn’t stop it. He hated seeing him anywhere near ypu.

“Weren’t you supposed to have your business partner with you?” You ask, your voice shaking slightly as your eyes meet JJ’s dark gaze from the corner where they lock onto you immediately. Rafe’s eyes shoot to JJ for a split second, a dark smile painting across his face when his eyes meet yours again. He was having fun.

“Once I remembered you worked here I came right over, Top’s busy today so it’s just us.” You hear the teasing hint to Rafe’s voice, ignoring it the best you can while at the same time desperately trying to ignore JJ’s intense, blue gaze.

“Actually it will just be you and Mr.Barnes, I won’t be needed for the meeting,” Letting your voice take on a sweet, customer service esc voice to let him know you wanted to keep it professional you stand and make your way to knock on your boss’ door.

“Mr.Cameron’s here early Sir, he’s ready for your meeting together if you are.” Mr.Barnes takes note of the annoyance in your tone eyeing the look on your face with a raised eyebrow. You were in fact meant to be a part of the meeting, taking note of the arrangements needed and readying his schedule for future meetings but Mr.Barnes was quite perspective and took your hint quickly.

“Let him in, I’ll update you after.” You flash him a thank you smile as you return to your desk, waving Rafe into your boss’ office quickly before he can speak to you again and shutting the door behind him.

The second you could stop to take a quick breath JJ’s shadow blanketed you entirely. Forcing eye contact with you, raising his eyebrows questioningly while you avoid him expertly. You take your sest at your desk, acting as though JJ wasn’t following quickly behind you, starting to speak angerly.

“What was that?” He asks, his tone clearly trying to hide his annoyance. You roll your eyes, keeping quiet and focused on your tablet in front of you despite his insistent eyes.

“Come on y/n that was definitely something.” You could hear his exasperation, leant down onto your desk, his biceps flexing in anger. Your eyes meet his quickly before dropping back down to your screen, trying to ignore the heat running through your body at his anger.

“You shouldn’t even be asking me that,” You sigh giving him a glance before continuing, “What would Kie ask you if she saw how you talk to me huh?”

“Okay so there is something going on?”

“Why would you say that?” You turn in your chair, facing him fully and staring at him exasperated.

“Because you just compared it to us and you can’t deny there is definitely something going in between us still.” JJ moves forward quickly, grabbing the arms of your chair, staring into your eyes intensely and making you swallow out of fear of telling the truth. Moving forward quickly you grab random papers meant to be mailed out today, shoving past JJ’s muscular frame quickly practically running away from him to the mailbox just outside.

Thankfully he doesn’t follow, watching you with a pinched brow, anger flowing through him as he feels his face heat up. JJ lets the day continue as normal, not missing how you run off to the bathroom as soon as Rafe starts to exit Barnes’ office with a smile on his face.

As Rafe’s leaving he takes the chance to approach JJ for the first time in a year. His tongue poking into his cheek while he suppresses a smile making JJ’s teeth grit in anger.

“Hey Maybank, didn’t think I’d see you here,” Rafe laughs slightly between his words, looking off as if checking for you, “Y’know you take your girls for granted, it’s like they’re always itchin’ for someone else’s attention.” Rafe laughs as JJ refrains from jumping at him, watching him leave with a scowl on his face.

~~~~

You make it home quickly, avoiding JJ like the plague for the rest of the work day. Even going as far as leaving from a different door to avoid his accusatory tone and glances.

Your chest tightens every time you think of JJ for the rest of the evening. Taking your time in the shower to enjoy the warmth of the water and the fragrance wafting around you. You almost feel empty as you accept the cold of the bathroom once you step out, dressing in your night clothes as fast as you can before being shocked out of your feelings by a crash in your room outside the door to your bathroom.

The sound of someone seemingly crashing into your bedroom sends you panicking. Alone in your bathroom you find the closest thing that could cause bodily harm before cautiously opening the bathroom door and stepping out wielding a hair dryer. Your window was open fully, the cold breeze reminding you of your uncovered nightgown as you look around. JJ laughs cutely behind you and you almost scream, turning to him exasperated, breathing heavily as you drop the almost useless hair dryer. “Oh….it’s you.”

JJ smiles at you, but somethings off as you notice the sight was less comforting, the smell of liquor hitting your nose. He had been drinking, you thought. The lack of the noise from his motorcycle and the stumbling suddenly made sense when you took note of his inebriated state.

“What are you doing here, arent you supposed to he at Kie’s?”

“I’m not supposed to be anywhere y/n,” He snaps, making his way around your room looking at all the photographs on your wall, unbeknownst to you looking for any sign of Rafe.

“Did you guys get into another fight?” You ask, quickly moving to stand beside him.

“Why do you care?” He spits, a look of disgust on his face when he walks towards you, “What’s going on with you and Rafe?” JJ asks ignoring your question entirely stepping towards you as you stutter, breathing in quickly and turning to walk away from him.

“Nothing, why would you ask that?” Your chest tightens, watching him step closer to you, stepping away from him while watching his bloodshot eyes.

“I saw the way he looked at you, and I heard what he said, what did he mean your party days. What the hell is he talking about y/n.” JJ’s voice rises unknowingly coming close to yelling, so close to you now you he’s practically screaming in your face.

“It was just a rebellious phase, I went to some of his parties and we had fun together.”

“The way we had fun together?” JJ snaps, an accusatory tone filling his voice as he slurs at you. He was so close you could smell the alcohol on his breath, and against everything you knew of JJ you felt scared of him.

“No JJ why would you think that? We never did anything like that, it wasn’t that serious.” Your voice turns to begging and he senses the shift in your demeanor, stepping back slightly.

“I’m sorry y/n,” JJ breaks down slightly, his voice breaking and sounding so desperate it almost broke your heart. You move up to him, grabbing his shoulders in an attempt to reassure him. Rubbing them softly with your hand as you speak, making eye contact with him and keeping it.

“It’s okay JJ, I get it,” You sigh watching him while you continue, “I can’t control my feelings for you so I can’t expect you to either. It’s seems like no matter what I do I’m being selfish towards someone.” JJ slowly starts to lean into you, his drunken and seemingly heartbroken state making you jump away just as he gets closer to you.

“Jay we can’t, you can’t. And you really need to stop trying.” JJ comes even closer despite your hand coming up to rest on his chest, he comes so close that his lips almost brush against yours before dropping his head to your neck. You can feel when his tears start to fall, wetting your shoulder while his arms wrap around your waist tightly.

“I’m sorry, I just miss you,” JJ says through broken sobs, “I miss you so fuckin’ much it hurts.” Your heart breaks for him as he speaks, mumbling into your shoulder. “I hated seeing you talk to Rafe, I hate the idea of him being anywhere near you ever again.”

“If he and Mr.Barnes come to an agreement I won’t need to interact with him okay,” You say softly, reassuring him while rubbing his back, “Some of Barnes’ men will be sent to his club on the agreed days and then that will be that and we can forget all about him.”

JJ’s bloodshot eyes meet yours, his tear streaked face sending a pang of guilt directly to your heart. You wished everything was easy, that you could just be each others first everything so you wouldn’t have to go through moments like this. You wished you could have him like you used to. You wished you both could just be happy no matter what. But you could tell it would never be easy now.

“I should probably get going, I shouldn’t stay another night if we’re supposed to be keeping our distance.” You scoff as he turns to walk towards your window, walking around him quickly and pushing him back down your bed with a small laugh.

“Hell no JJ, you are absolutely shit faced and it’s almost midnight. I am not letting you stumble around this island looking for a place to stay just because we can’t control our feelings.” You laugh at his awe struck look he gives you while staring up at you desperately, “Imma get you some water and aspirin for the morning when you’re inevitably hungover. Get comfortable Jay, because you’re not leaving.”

“Thank you.” JJ whispers so quietly you almost didn’t hear him just as he begins to settle into your bed. You enter your connected bathroom without a response, getting him his water and painkillers before returning to find him already entirely knocked out.

And you knew in that moment as you watched JJ’s sleeping figure, comfortable and safe on your bed that he could never find out how close you and Rafe once were.

~~~~

Some serious drama starting here 🤭

~Taglist~ (ask to be added❤️)

@slut4-gojo @cali-888 @marley1773 @agnxstic @apeachtea @juno2369 @bee-43 @definitelymentallyderanged @smokahontas-113

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~ Oh, It’s You ~

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Ex-Sneaky Link!JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

After months of hooking up with JJ in secret, you both began developing deep feelings for each other, but when his friends, Kie especially, learn of your relationship and plot on it's downfall JJ leaves you reeling and confused as he enters a relationship with his best friend leaving you to wonder what you did to push him away so quickly. Unbeknownst to you however. the blonde was struggling more than he let on, wanting nothing more than to go his own path but feeling trapped with those who used to make him feel free. The only person he can think of now that makes him feel as open as he once did is.... you.

Warnings: Emotional Cheating, Anxiety, JJ ignoring his true feelings, Minor Manipulation(Kie).

~~~~

JJ decided that night that he had to stop pretending. He knew what he wanted, the life he wanted, who he wanted. He just couldn’t have any of it. So why hide when he knew it would never happen. He was tired of every ones expectations of him, he was tired of hiding. He didn’t have to be with you to have you in his corner.

And he just had to accept that already.

The next week started to practically fly by, you got him an interview with Mr.Barnes and he started that very Monday. Kie seemed happy with the news and for the first time in a long time she actually seemed proud.

It felt like you being back in his life was going to fix everything, you made him happy even when he knew you were nothing more than friends. Would never be anything more than friends. And even though his chest hurt sometimes at the reminder, once he told himself it was better this way he could breath again.

The first day was absolutely perfect, Mr.Barnes had directed you to show him around just as you suspected he would. Your excitement fluttered in your chest as you explained where everything was and he listened, like he always would. In all honesty it should have only taken about half an hour, but with every other word being precisely picked as to not start something you shouldn’t with what almost happened in your bedroom mere nights before and every time your eyes met lasting just a few seconds too long. Half an hour quickly doubled.

And even though you knew JJ could introduce himself to the other staff on his own, and likely wouldn’t even need to interact with them much, you took the opportunity to introduce him to a few just to spend some extra time by his side. When the day came to an end he was quick to walk you to your car, joking “As a new member of a very successful security company it’s my job to make sure pretty little things like you get where yer goin’ safely.”

You could feel your cheeks heat against your will, the slight southern drawl to his words making you melt. You knew better than to let him speak to you like that but you were seemingly unable to actually draw the line. “You know you can’t say things like that to me JJ.” Voice lacking conviction and your face etched in the obvious sadness at needing to turn him down you turned to get into your car. The feeling of his callased hand on your wrist stopped you, quicker than it should have as it turned you back to him.

“I know,” He sighs, eying you under his lashes before his gaze dropped to his feet. “It’s just hard sometimes, I want us to be friends, I want you in my life Y/N. I want to be in yours, however you’ll have me.”

“I just don’t know Jay, I don’t want to become a home wrecker, you know how I feel about stuff like that with how my Dad is.” You sigh, watching him and letting your shoulders sink in your own sadness.

“In order for that to happen there needs to be a homey feeling, and I have only ever felt that with you,” JJ watched your eyes widen as you stare at him. “I’m not gonna pressure you, I never would, just remember I’m here whenever you need me, whenever you want me.”

JJ turns, his hand falling away from you where it sat connecting to your wrist to turn away from you. Walking off and leaving you standing confused by your car.

~~~~

As the week quickly progressed there were moments when JJ would catch your eye as he collected the trash, the way you looked at him almost making him forget his setting. Other times you would almost directly run into him when he was coming in from doing yard work conveniently just as your break started. No matter what it was he always felt a spark, something he missed greatly.

JJ kept finding his eyes drifting to your desk every time he entered Rogers Security Services. JJ was happily surprised when he actually liked working there, thinking he even would if you didn’t. You were right in Mr.Barnes being down to earth, despite being absolutely loaded today he remembers his childhood of poverty and after losing his best friend he wanted to protect people in a real way. And JJ respected that, even if he was clocking in for a day of mopping his bathroom floor.

“Hey Jay,” You smile up at him as he approached your desk, clocking in with you as he had for the last three mornings, “Do you have any weekend plans?” JJ laughed softly, hearing the awkwardness laced within your voice. He could tell sometimes you had no clue what you should say to him, or maybe what you were allowed to, but he thought it was absolutely adorable.

“No, not really,” Your eyes meet for a second too long, his hand hovering over the screen of your work tablet where he had to clock in every day. Getting to see your face up close, letting himself take a little too long to get to work just so he could use the excuse to talk to you. “I was hoping I’d get to go out for a bit but it doesn’t look like it’s gonna work out that way.”

Your heart clenches at the sound of JJ’s sigh, the sound someone releases when they have the world on their shoulders. His eyes fall to where his fingers move across the screen and you let yourself shamefully watch him just as you had every day this week. You had to remind your brain you couldn’t be disappointed Friday was approaching so quickly or that he hadn’t asked to sleep over in almost a week. You had to ignore the pull at your chest as you realized you should probably keep it that way over the weekend too. JJ’s eyes met yours again, a look of uncertainty and questioning lingering in the way he searched yours.

Almost as if he was having the exact same thoughts.

JJ clears his throat, snapping you out of your own head before walking off towards the bathrooms. Your eyes linger on his retreating back, trying to get into a groove with your work and fighting the urge to go look for him every few minutes. You had to be professional and stay on task no matter how hard that actually would be.

In theory today should have been easier than the rest, while being separated by thick concrete walls for the majority of the day certainly helped the thought of him still swam in your brain all morning. And maybe it was intentional when you got up before your scheduled break, and maybe you chose to ignore the sign stating the bathroom was being cleaned. But who could know for certain, the door was unlocked after all.

JJ started at the sound of the door opening, quickly turning from his view of the dirty mop bucket below him, “This bathroom’s not - oh hey.” A smile came to his face immediately at the sight of you, it had only been a few hours but it felt like days since he saw your face.

“Sorry, I just-“ His eyes held your gaze with a questioning hint, a smirk growing on his face as you realized you couldn’t lie to him.

“What? You wanted to see me?” JJ teases, letting the mop in his hand rest against the wall while moving to wash his hands in the sink. He hears you laugh nervously behind him, his eyes watching you in the mirror while you think he can’t see you.

“Yeah actually,” Your face is red when he turns to you, shaking his hands free of the majority of water before leaning against the counter, his eyes staring directly into your soul. “I honestly don’t know why, I just-“

“Couldn’t resist.” JJ finishes, causing your eyes to snap to his. The look on his face entirely serious, his jokey, flirty mask gone for a split second.

“Yeah,” You say softly, tears brimming your eyes in less than a second, “Am I a horrible person for that Jay?”

“No of course not,” He sighs, stepping forward and pulling you into a tight hug. You let your head fall into your hands rested against his chest, “If anyone is I am, I can’t resist this either.“

JJ holds you, letting you cry, the feeling of his arms around you was much more than friendly but in that moment neither of you wanted to recognize that fact. You were fooling yourselves into believing this could end well for anyone involved, but you kept slipping further into this forbidden “friendship”. When your teary eyes met his again JJ’s head swam with worry, he hated the sight of your wet cheeks, your reddened eyes sparking something in him he didn’t understand.

His brain drifted to what you looked like the night he told you he was done meeting up with you. You watching him leave from where you stood in the sand, eyes brimming with tears that time too. It was the first time he believed his heart ever fully broke. And it kept breaking ever since.

“What do you want me to do?” JJ asked, arms retreating from around you to grip your waist on either side.

“I want you to stay,” Your voice comes out a whisper, nearly inaudible, but JJ hears and feels his chest sore, “I want you in my life too, sometimes it feels like I’m alone in a room full of people but when you’re here I feel seen, heard….wanted”

You pull away from him and he lets you, of course he lets you, “I’m so selfish, I didn’t even ask you what was wrong earlier.” JJ gives you a small smile, eyes finding yours again, his hands mourning the loss of your body heat.

“You always know don’t you?” He sighs, watching the sad smile you give him in return before continuing, “I wanted to go out this weekend, John B and Sarah got a sitter for the first time in god knows how long and Pope and Cleo are free at the same time which almost never happens anymore with Pope’s classes, I was excited, genuinely excited for the first time in awhile. But Kie has other plans for us all of a sudden.”

His head shakes, tongue poking the inside of his cheek taut, “It pisses me off that all I can ever do is what she plans. She wants me to come to her place tomorrow night, she didn’t say for what but I’m dreading it, feels like we’re overdue for a fight by now.”

JJ’s shocked when he feels your arms snake around his waist quickly, hugging him closely as his arms fall to wrap around you again. “You can always come to me, even when it feels wrong I’ll be there to unlock my window for you.”

For a second you both stand there in each other’s arms, sadly giggling and both thinking of what could have been if circumstances were a little different. When you separated from him you felt cold, turning to leave the same way you had come before you’re stopped by his soft voice, softer than you had ever heard it.

“Thank you y/n/n, for everything.”

It was hard to get into a groove for the few remaining hours of the day but eventually you finally settled. Checking Mr.Barnes’ emails, the company website, and making sure all the bills for the office were up to date letting yourself get caught up in your work, just as you should be. So much so that you hadn’t even noticed when JJ returned to the front room, his blue gaze landing on you every few minutes.

JJ sat less than ten feet away from you working on one of the guard’s desks, effortlessly fixing a broken drawer that had apparently been giving the guy trouble for weeks. He knew he could have left a bit early after finishing up the bathrooms but he loved getting to see you in action. Especially when you didn’t notice and get nervous or distracted.

The sound of the phone ringing shot your eyes up off your computer where they almost immediately caught his, a smile growing on his face before turning back to the project at hand.

“Good afternoon how can I help you?” JJ smiles at the sound of your “phone voice” as you used to always call it. His eyes darting between you and the broken desk drawer in front of him quickly.

“Yes, Mr.Barnes’ schedule is still free for Mr.Cameron and his associate to meet tomorrow at 2:30.” JJ’s head shoots up, staring in your direction as you so obviously avoid eye contact, “Mhmm, thank you for checking in, I’ll let Mr.Barnes know it’s set in stone this time.” Your eyes roll instinctively, setting the phone down softly, quickly getting up to inform your boss and expertly avoiding the burning gaze of the man in front of you.

~~~~

~ Taglist ~ (ask to be added❤️)

@slut4-gojo @cali-888 @marley1773 @agnxstic @apeachtea @juno2369 @bee-43 @definitelymentallyderanged

[mrsriddlenott]

Gutted😔

always fine- jj maybank

jj maybank x pogue!reader

warnings: angst, cheating

she never expected her boyfriend to cheat on her, she truly trusted jj so at the sight of him gripping kiara's waist as his life depended on it whole her lips where on his she felt the world stop. a hand on her shoulder got her out of the shock, John b.

"sweets." he murmured, the nickname he gave her when they were five now sounded so sour. he was restraining himself from punching jj, realising his priority was y/n and he would deal with jj later. his heart ached for her, knowing how hurted she had been in the past and how long it took for heart to trust jj.

"don't tell him what we saw, don't say anything." she said before rushing out of the place. y/n didn't know how she made it home safe, give the state she was in.

the next day she was woken up with texts from jj asking if she was going to john b's later. 'no, busy today. maybe tomorrow.' was the response she sent back

she felt sick, her best friend and her boyfriend had betrayed her in the worst way possible and he dared to act as if everything was alright. y/n sat in her bed for hours without replying to anyone, not one tear escaped her eyes as she now placed all of jj's belongings in a box, he had a bunch of stuff in her house as he spent most of his nights there. anger taking over her as she questioned in her mind how dared he do something like that when she had received him in her home whenever he needed, when her parents treated him as another kid of theirs.

she got all she wanted to return in the back of her car before letting john b know she was coming over.

"baby." jj smiled at her as he saw her approach the group but a confused look replaced it as he saw the box in her hands. "what you got there sweetheart?" she felt sick once again at him talking to her as if nothing had happened the night before and god knows how many nights before.

"your stuff, figured you'd need them if you were going to be with kiara now." she glanced at her now ex best friend. pope muttured. "what the hell." while sarah looked with a disgusted look at kiara.

"no baby, let me explain." jj got past john b in a fast move and tried taking her arms in his hand but she took a step back while dropping the box to the floor.

"real nice guys, how long have you two been playing me behind my back." y/n looked at kie but she already had her gaze in the ground. "I should've known you still were a bitch kie, after all you're just a kook and let me tell you something even if you try to play the hippie chic act you'll never truly be one of us."

jj's eyes got full of tears as he continued to try and explain the situation.

"don't even try it jj, I won't believe a word you'll say."

"baby y/n/n please." he tried one more time and tried to take a hold of her. "you gotta listen to me."

"No!" she shouted at him."you listen to me. after everything I've done for you! I don't want to listen. you're dead to me, both of you." she glanced at kiara before walking to her car followed by john b and jj.

"baby please y/n/n don't leave." jj exclaimed before pope got in front of him and punched his face. "dude!"

it took everything in her to not look back and assist him, john b wouldn't alow it even if she tried.

"let me take you home." john b hugged her before she broke it up and got in her car.

"don't worry bird, I'll be fine you know it."

"yeah but-"

"no buts, I'm always fine."

[mrsriddlenott]

I need an angst that leaves me destroyed and lying in bed for 5 days

[mrsriddlenott]

If You Love Something…

Pairing: Sirius Black x Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend, Sirius Black, hasn’t been faithful and you can’t stand it anymore.

Warnings: cheating 

Requested

Masterlist

––––––––––

You bounded through the castle, your blaring footsteps echoing off of the stone walls. You moved with such intent and speed that the other students in the halls moved out of your way and turned their head back to watch you go, curious as to what business you were traveling to like that. 

You didn’t notice any of them. Honestly, if they hadn’t moved you probably would have slammed right into them and just kept going. Because not even knocking an innocent bystander to the ground could distract you from your current mission.

When one of your housemates had told you what they had seen outside the Gryffindor common room, you immediately got tunnel vision. Without another word, you left the library, not even bothering to take your belongings. 

A few minutes after your sudden departure you had finally rounded the corner to come to a sharp stop. 

In your line of sight was your boyfriend, but he wasn’t alone. He was leaning over another Gryffindor. A girl. One of his hands was rested on the wall above her and the other twirling a piece of her hair between his fingers. 

Keep reading

[mrsriddlenott]

I think this is the first time I’ve ever been included in a rec list!! Thank youuu it honestly feels like an honor❤️❤️

FEBRUARY

* = [series] -> = [ recommendations from other platforms]

• (𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐅𝐢𝐜𝐬) @chimindity

• 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐃𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐢𝐦 @gh0stsp1d3r

• 𝐓𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐅𝐚𝐬𝐭 @urrockstar-xe

• 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲, 𝐉𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐲 @in-my-feels-probably

• 𝐓𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐒𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠? @maybanksprincess

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• 𝐎𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬 @heartthrobin

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• 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐆𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐇𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮, 𝐁𝐚𝐛𝐲 @railingsofsorrow

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• 𝐈𝐧𝐤𝐞𝐝 @sarahroutldge

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^@starryblueeyesandstarryblueskies

OTHERS:

Wattpad

-> 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭* by jnnfersbody

-> 𝐑𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫*

-> 𝐏𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬𝐬*

^ by leebaxt0n

[mrsriddlenott]

~ Oh, It’s You ~

<<Prev THREE Next>>

[Series Masterlist][Main Masterlist]

Ex-Sneaky Link!JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

This is an AU set 1 year after s4 however canon plot points won't really be mentioned.

After months of hooking up with JJ in secret, you both began developing deep feelings for each other, but when his friends, Kie especially, learn of your relationship and plot on it's downfall JJ leaves you reeling and confused as he enters a relationship with his best friend leaving you to wonder what you did to push him away so quickly. Unbeknownst to you however. the blonde was struggling more than he let on, wanting nothing more than to go his own path but feeling trapped with those who used to make him feel free. The only person he can think of now that makes him feel as open as he once did is.... you.

Warnings: emotional cheating(they almost kiss), ooc Kie, Depressed JJ but he doesn’t realize, lying and small amount of manipulation on Kie’s part.

~~~~

JJ’s fingers clenched against his phone, knuckles turning white as he waits for your response. Eyes darting between his phone screen and Kie’s angry face in front of him. “Don’t you want a life JJ” She spits at him like venom.

She seemed like such a different person now. JJ remembered when he trusted her with almost anything but whenever he thinks of her now he needs to stop himself from thinking of his dad. He can’t help but wonder if his mother was as easily manipulated by him as he’s beginning to realize he was by Kie.

Nothing he ever does is good enough.

“You said I needed a job and I have an interview, I don’t understand what the big deal is.” JJ sighed, still waiting for the feeling of his phone buzzing in his hand.

“I didn’t mean at some shitty little garage, that’s not going to get you anywhere in life. Working on cars is your hobby, you cannot make a livelihood off of it.” The way she said “you” so full of spite and anger made him feel so small, holding back his own anger as to not snap and make everything worse.

“I’m good with cars Kie, if I get enough legit experience I could open up my own garage.” JJ shrugs, only half enjoying the idea himself but wanting to please her. His eyes fall shut as she scoffs again, arms crossing over her chest while she gave him a disapproving look.

He didn’t want to do this, he hated when she talked to him like this. And when he got your text in the middle of one of their many fights, it felt so right that he should have known it was wrong. But he just couldn’t stay here, and he couldn’t admit to her that he had nowhere else to go after everything. His phone buzzed and his heart jumped, his eyes falling to the screen in his hand trying not to act weird as he read your text.

Y/N🤫💛 Are you sure that’s a great idea?

JJ wastes no time in typing out his response, ignoring the way Kie paces in front of him. She speaks angrily about him getting a job at Rafe’s fancy new nightclub instead, raising her voice with every word and glaring at his phone every second. His eyes roll despite how hard he tried to control them, knowing she hated when he did that but finding it harder and harder to be the perfect boyfriend she had imagined. “Are you seriously ignoring me? If you don’t want to talk about this maybe you should leave for the night.” Kie spat, anger clear on her face and JJ couldn’t blame her.

Jay Not sure if anything is a good idea anymore but ik u feel safe and i have nowhere else to go anymore

It took you much less time to formulate your next text as you read his. Your heart hurts at the pain he seems to be in, he seems so trapped in whatever worries he had right now. He seems hurt and lost, and you know him well enough to know he’s feeling like a burden so you quickly respond, leaving it up to him in the end.

Y/N🤫💛 The window will be unlocked, don’t feel like a burden Jay. I know things are weird between us now and they might always be, but I will never turn you away when you’re struggling. No matter what.

JJ read your text with slightly watery eyes, he felt lost and hurt, he was hurting the people around him just by his existence. He couldn’t be who Kie or John B wanted anymore, it was becoming too much. JB was a dad now and JJ understood why everything needed to become so serious so fast, he really did. But despite how happy he was for him and Sarah and their beautiful baby boy Jackson, he was terrified. The last few years felt like a blur, they went by so fast and JJ ignored it by telling himself he would be free in his 20s.

But he was wrong. It all kept piling on. He felt like in a blink of an eye he would be 30 and still feel absolutely nothing real. With a pang of guilt he bid a stressful goodbye to Kie as he left her house, knowing exactly where he would go, knowing he shouldn’t but knowing he couldn’t resist.

You were the only one that could slow everything down.

The sound of JJ’s bike outside your house had you shooting up from your bed, darting to unlock the window hoping your mom couldn’t hear the sound. She had heard too many tear filled rants about the blonde to ever accept him in her house but you just couldn’t resist him.

JJ quickly scaled the flower trellis on the wall outside your window just as you opened it for him, stepping back and attempting to discreetly watch him. His muscles were on full view from his cut t-shirt, constricting while he worked his way into your room, quickly turning to shut the window before looking back to you, catching you staring with a smirk.

“Hey Princess,” The nickname slips past JJ’s lips without a thought, so easily and smoothly as if he never stopped speaking it, his teeth tugging at his bottom lip as his eyes train themselves on you, “Thank you for letting me in.”

“You can’t call me that anymore JJ,” You breath out quickly before continuing, “And you don’t need to thank me.”

JJ watches you walk around your bed to retrieve the same blanket and pillow he used last time, handing them to him as you plop down onto your bed, “So what happened? You seemed different when we were texting earlier.” JJ scoffs at your words, sitting next to you, almost too close as he starts speaking.

“Me and Kie got into another fight,” He sighs, his eyes finding yours like a refuge before falling to his feet, “She’s been pestering me to work for Rafe so I got an interview at this garage close to her place to get her off my back but she doesn’t think it’ll be enough.”

“Well she doesn’t get a say, it’s your life Jay, don’t pick a job just to spite her. And I understand where she’s coming from, Rafe has basically become an overnight success in the last year but I agree that you shouldn’t settle for what she wants.” JJ watches you, waiting for you to push him one way or the other, but you dont. You wait for him clearly wanting him to choose for himself.

And JJ can’t remember the last time any one accepted, or even wanted to hear, his opinion.

“I don’t care how much everyone thinks he changed or how easily he can convince people, hell I don’t care if he has actually changed. A Cameron will never be my boss.” JJ states matter of factly and you smile up at him, his reserve and certainty always being some of your favorite aspects of his personality.

“I don’t doubt it Jay, and I personally think you’re too good to work for him anyway.” You giggle, and JJ takes note of the fact that is sounded exactly as it always used to. He almost forgot what it sounded like. JJ found himself reminiscing on every second he spent with you, how happy he was and how happy he could be again if he just took a leap of faith.

“I just don’t know what to do,” JJ averts his eyes from you, feeling lost in his own feelings and wants, “Nothing I ever do is good enough for her and it feels like this just wasn’t right, everything feels so forced.” The way his head falls into his hands almost breaks your heart, and you wish you could hug him even though you knew it was inappropriate.

“I can’t help with everything going on but my boss is hiring,” You grimace, your face twisting slightly, “I wasn’t gonna say anything because it’s for a janitor.”

JJ side eyes you with a weak smile making you laugh, turning on your bed to face him fully. “I’m serious JJ, it’s a good idea I swear.” You state with a bit of a giggle in your voice, instinctively gripping at his bare shoulder for only a second before retracting your hand quickly.

“How is that a good idea?” JJ laughs, the warmth of your hand lingering on his shoulder like a burn for far too long.

“Well A it’s not Rafe and B it’s not a random garage with no one you know. Mr.Barnes even grew up in the Cut, he’s way more down to earth than you would expect at first glance and he won’t treat you poorly. ” Your eyes meet his, a smirk growing on his lips at your words.

“So I’d get to work with you, every day?” JJ speaks slowly, words slipping off his tongue like they were somehow sultry. Against your better judgment you smile at his words, breaking eye contact while you try and form words.

“Well not every day, but I would be who shows you around and everything until you get the hang of the place.” You sigh, trying to ignore the excitement running through your body at his close proximity.

“What do you guys even do there?” JJ asks with a small laugh, wanting to hear you talk more than anything.

“Well I just answer calls and fix Mr.Barnes schedule mostly, and y’know take deliveries and stuff but it’s a security company so we more or less just give rich people protection.” Your eyes meet as he watches you talk, JJ can’t think of a better sight than your happy smile while you speak. He could listen to you talk about anything, genuinely. And he knew right then and there that he didn’t care if he was mopping floors and taking out trash, he was gonna take the job just to see you.

Your breath catches, your eyes meeting his again, this time letting them stay locked together. The intensity grows quickly making your chest feel tight, your irises feeling trapped in the strong blue gaze of his. A gasp escapes your lips as he begins to lean in instinctually, making you place a hand on his chest while you put distance between you both by standing.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” JJ stutters, eyelids closing tightly preparing for you to yell at him to leave, that he was a two timing piece of shit that needs to get out of your life for good. Instead you stay pacing in front of him eyes brimming with tears, “I shouldn’t have even thought- fuck I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s fine, lets just forget it,” Feeling bad for him, you stare to his reddening face feeling your own heat up. Knowing he has nowhere else to go, and despite the sense of worry settling deep in your chest as you decide to ignore this moment you let him stay. “We should probably get to sleep anyway.”

“Yeah yeah,” JJ starts, jumping up from your bed and avoiding eye contact as he prepares a spot to sleep on the floor.

~~~~

~ Taglist ~ (ask to be added❤️)

@slut4-gojo @cali-888 @marley1773 @agnxstic @apeachtea @juno2369 @bee-43 @definitelymentallyderanged

[mrsriddlenott]

~ Oh, It’s You ~

<<Prev TWO Next>>

[Series Masterlist][Main Masterlist]

Ex-Sneaky Link!JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

This is an AU set 1 year after s4 however canon plot points won’t really be mentioned.

After months of hooking up with JJ in secret, you both began developing deep feelings for each other, but when his friends, Kie especially, learn of your relationship and plot on it’s downfall JJ leaves you reeling and confused as he enters a relationship with his best friend leaving you to wonder what you did to push him away so quickly. Unbeknownst to you however. the blonde was struggling more than he let on, wanting nothing more than to go his own path but feeling trapped with those who used to make him feel free. The only person he can think of now that makes him feel as open as he once did is….you.

Warnings: Emotional cheating(flirting), ooc Kie for plot, angst, confusion, pressure, and fighting.

~~~~

Jay Nobody climbed in ur window after i left right?

Your chest clenches when you see his name on your phone screen again, it had only been an hour since he left and you had reprimanded yourself for thinking about him a dozen times as you got ready for work. You doubted if you should even respond, it didn’t feel like a good idea but you couldn’t stop yourself, quickly typing out a short response before silencing his contact and shoving your phone back into your pocket.

Y/N🤫💛 Nope. Window is locked and secure.

JJ loved seeing your name on his phone again after over a month without it, he hadn’t even changed your contact despite the fact that he probably should have. He couldn’t suppress his smile as he texted you back almost immediately, pulling his phone closer to him, side eyeing John B on his right.

What r u doin today? Delivered

JJ stared at the word “Delivered” as he swiped up on his screen obsessively, biting the inside of his cheek worse with each second that went by without a response. Fuck, JJ thought as he realized how desperate he seemed for a scrap of your attention. The sound of Kie’s voice sent a chill down his spine, a shot of guilt hitting his heart as he exited the conversation with a sigh and desperately tried for the millionth time to get you off his mind.

He never could though, and he hated himself for it. How could he just forget someone like you just because his friends didn’t like you?

“Hey Kie,” John B spoke as JJ tried to look normal, he hated this feeling. Like he was a betrayer, he didn’t want to hurt anyone ever. But he never wanted this to happen in the first place. This was the expectation placed on him, everyone always thought it would be him and Kie. Hell, he thought it would be for a very long time. But if it was so right why did it feel like he was lying to everyone he cared about whenever he talked about you or Kie.

“Hey Kie,” JJ mimicked as she sat down on the other side of him, giving him a kiss on the cheek and taking the opportunity to whisper in his ear that he looked great. “I know I do.“ JJ smirked, swinging an arm around her, trying to ignore the tug at his heart that was you.

He should not have texted you. He knew that for sure.

~~~~

Your mind raced every second you were at work, almost not able to focus with JJ popping in your head just about every second at this point. But you stayed strong and stayed off your phone, knowing you would immediately check his contact despite your better judgment. You sat behind the medium sized wooden desk beside your boss’ office, obsessively clicking your pen as you tried to keep your eyes from drifting to the clock in front of you. You agreed you wouldn’t let yourself check his contact until your work day was up. Which you thought would help keep your mind off of his perfect blue eyes, and his toned chest, and the way he would always smirk at you when he was thinking the exact same thing as you.

Key word being thought.

You’re jolted out of your JJ centric trance at the sound of your work phone ringing, sighing as you prepared your voice to answer the call. You decided to apply for a summer job to help your mother with the bills after your father left the second you turned 18 two years ago and somehow it just stuck. You knew she could handle them but you had both grown accustomed to a certain level of luxury and you felt she still deserved that, even if it meant spending a little while as a, surprisingly nice, rich guy’s secretary.

You knocked on the solid wood of your boss’ office door, waiting patiently for a response before hearing his gruff voice tell you to come in. “Your 2:30 called to cancel Sir, I had to reschedule it for a week from now. It was the only time that worked with both your schedules.”

Your boss sighed as he rubbed his eyes under his glasses, tired irises meeting yours before falling back to the paper in front of him, “Thank you Miss Y/L/N,” He said, clearly annoyed but not at you, taking a quick glance at the clock before tossing his pen down and reaching to remove his glasses with the same hand as he relaxed in his office chair, “You can probably take the rest of the day off, send a message to my wife to let her know I’ll be home early on your way out please and have a good weekend.”

“Thank you Mr.Barnes, you have a good weekend too Sir.” You stated with a smile before silently slipping out of his office, typing out a quick message to Mrs.Barnes just as your boss asked before grabbing your bag and readying yourself to leave. You quickly find your phone in your bag, not wasting a second to open Messages to see JJ had in fact texted you. You never got off early, Mr.Barnes was always so busy that you were in turn just as busy if not more busy. So you took it as a sign from the world to unsilence JJ’s contact and just get over with it and text him back.

Sorry Jay, I was at work all day.

Your thumb hesitates over the send button before adding, Other than that I don’t have any plans but staying in my room. Don’t worry though my window is still locked.

You giggled as you pressed send while continuing your walk to your car. You weren’t surprised that you didn’t immediately get a response after leaving him on delivered almost all day but you scolded yourself as you drove home, music uninterrupted by a notification. Now that you thought of it your text seemed overly flirty for the circumstances at hand, he must think you’re ridiculously desperate. You thought as you tugged open your door, slipping off your shoes and trudging up to your bedroom.

“Fuck.” You breath while you stare at your ceiling, the scent of JJ still lingering slightly in your room as your eyes find the blanket and pillow he used the night before. You close your eyes tight with a sigh, “Desperate. Desperate. Desp-“

The sound of your phone snaps your eyes open, silencing you as you slowly look to your screen as it pings again. You contemplate waiting, making yourself seem less eager to get a message but you ultimately fail.

Jay Could that window be unlocked for me

Jay I’ll sleep on the floor and leave first thing

Jay Promise.

Your heart skips a beat as you read the texts coming through. You want to say “no, never speak to me again, have a nice life.” But your brain kept telling you something was wrong. The JJ you knew and, against your better judgment, loved never acted so closed off, so hurt. While you didn’t know if it was your subconscious making yourself feel better about everything you and JJ had been through and the fact that he still felt nothing for you, you knew you were going to let him in.

“You’re an adult, you can’t be this stubborn for the rest of our lives,” Kie shouted, standing above JJ where he sat on her bed. “Rafe has changed, not everyone stays who they were in high school like you.”

“Rafe wasn’t a kid Kiara, he was basically our age now,” JJ huffs, checking his phone again, gritting his teeth, “You act like he was some innocent victim.”

“He went through a lot okay, if Sarah can forgive him why can’t you.” She snaps, huffing as she begins to pace.

“Sarah has a child who should know his uncle, they’re family, Sarah didn’t “forgive” him she accepted it because she’s a good mother and a good sister,” JJ snaps, eyeing Kie where she stares at him like he had two heads, “And I don’t need to accept shit.”

Kie’s eyes darken, staring at him like he was somehow wrong. Her jaw noticeably clenches while she stops pacing, staring at him with eyes as deadly as a viper.

JJ sighs, eyeing his phone again and preparing himself for a lecture.

~~~~

[Next Part]

-Taglist- (ask to be added❤️)

@slut-4-gojo @cali-888 @marley1773 @agnxstic

[mrsriddlenott]

Thank youuu!! I have been loving writing it, I am so excited for this series ❤️❤️

~ Oh, It’s You ~

[Part One][Next][Series Masterlist]

Ex-Sneaky Link!JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

Adult AU, post season 4 by a year but I won’t be mentioning canon plot points bc of JJ’s s4 ending. Please point out any mistakes❤️

After months of hooking up with JJ in secret, you both began developing deep feelings for each other, but when his friends, Kie especially, learn of your relationship and plot on it’s downfall JJ leaves you reeling and confused as he enters a relationship with his best friend leaving you to wonder what you did to push him away so quickly. Unbeknownst to you however. the blonde was struggling more than he let on, wanting nothing more than to go his own path but feeling trapped with those who used to make him feel free. The only person he can think of now that makes him feel as open as he once did is….you.

Warnings: Angst, Emotional Cheating, ooc Kie(she really sucks for plot), Daddy issues mentioned, JJ’s confused asf.

~~

You jump as you step out of your bathroom to the sight of JJ Maybank sprawled across your bed spraying himself with your most expensive perfume.

“Jesus Jay you scared me, how did you get in here?” You ask, your voice breathless as you tug your fluffy robe over your revealing nightgown.

“Climbed,” JJ states with a smirk as though it was entirely acceptable, “you should really lock your window at night by the way.” He adds, flinging his legs off the side of your bed before hopping up to look around your room.

“Well I have never had a guy climb through my window in the middle of the night.” You state, slightly exasperated at the sight of him in your bedroom however at your words JJ’s smile only widens.

“Oh really? I’m the first to have that privilege then?” JJ laughs, looking to you over his shoulder for only a second before he’s turning to your dresser, opening the top drawer to snoop.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, your tone desperate as you hadn’t even heard from the blonde in over a month let alone actually seen him.

“Needed a place to crash, first thought was you.” JJ’s eyes avoid yours while he speaks, your eyebrows furrow at his nonchalant tone as though he hadn’t called off everything between you both right when you thought it might actually move past casual hook ups.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, does Kie know you’re here?” JJ scoffs, his eyes finding yours again, irritation evident in the way he stares back at you.

“I don’t know y/n, she knows she kicked me out of her place because I didn’t want to talk about getting in contact with Rafe fuckin’ Cameron for a job, left me alone outside her house like an idiot knowing I had nowhere to go.” He shrugs, turning to inspect your drawers further before you rush up and slam the second drawer shut, not letting him peak inside at your underwear. You shove him backwards with a glare while he eyes you, smirking with his hands up in mock surrender.

“Look Jay I don’t know what’s going on and I am really sorry but you should probably stay at John B’s or something.” His eyes dim, letting his hands drop to his sides, tugging his lip between his teeth and avoiding your eyes.

“You pissed him off too didn’t you?” You sigh, walking around him with a roll of your eyes. “Fine, but you’re sleeping on the floor.”

“I knew you couldn’t resist me for long.” You roll your eyes at his words, cheeks heating up at how desperate you must seem to him. Letting the man that led you on for months back into your life after he left you for someone so perfect. You and JJ were never official, so it’s not like you could be mad. You agreed to no strings attached and you honestly shouldn’t have been surprised when he said he didn’t want to continue what you had going. But you let yourself be convinced that with each night together getting longer, and each glance across the boneyard feeling deeper, something serious was growing. He made it official with Kie only a week after he stopped asking to see you and that’s when you realized you were just a distraction.

“Well, doesn’t seem like you have the same problem.” You feel the heat of his eyes on your back while you grab an extra blanket and pillow for him, tossing them on the ground with a huff before turning back to JJ trying to maintain a neutral expression, “You should probably leave first thing in the morning my mom doesn’t want guys over.”

“You’re an adult though?” JJ questions, trying to catch your eyes as you desperately avoid his while preparing for bed.

“An adult in my mother’s house.” You state, sliding into bed with your back to him, opting to keep your robe tightly wrapped around yourself despite the heat to keep everything more appropriate. JJ was now a taken man and even though a pang went through your chest at the thought you knew if you were Kie you would hate to learn he spent the night in another woman’s bedroom.

You listen to the way JJ shuffles around the floor trying to get comfortable, fighting the urge to turn around and invite him up just to know he would sleep well. Just knowing he was in the dim light of your dark bedroom for the first time, laying only a few feet away from you, was starting to drive you crazy, and you knew having him in your bed would not be a good idea.

No matter how long you waited for him to finally want to be.

As he lay there on the floor JJ’s eyes stayed locked on the ceiling and sleep avoided him, the thoughts of every night you two spent together rushing through his mind just like they had been for weeks on end. He wanted to tell you the truth but he couldn’t now, you would never believe him, it would sound like he was making up some quick excuse to get in your pants. He never wanted to end things, he wanted you as so much more than a hook up and his friends hated it. Kie hated it. And he didn’t know what to do, he ended things like they said he should and before he knew it Kie was kissing him and like the snap of a finger somehow they were “dating”. Part of him sometimes told him Kie planned this, planting doubt in the possibility of you and him being serious, but that just wasn’t who Kie was.

He could remember the day she found out about you and him, she was livid. She told him you were using him as a way to get over your daddy issues. That you wanted a man your dad would hate because maybe then he would pay attention to you and then you’d end up turning him into some kook and ruining who he was. That all he was to you was a conquest, to tame him until you could take him into your kook life.

But now that he was “with” Kie it seemed more like that was her plan than yours.

When the morning sun hit your eyes waking you up, you quickly noticed the blanket you lent JJ folded neatly with the pillow on top where they were before he used them. Part of you began to think it was all a dream before taking note of the unlocked window he must have used as his exit. You sighed, you knew he’d leave as you asked, he never overstepped like you thought he would before you knew him as well as you did now.

You had to try and stop your chest from feeling heavy at how easy it was for him to leave with no mark left to remind you of his presence.

Just like he left your life.

When you finally checked your phone you were shocked to see his name on your screen. A message from less than an hour ago stating simply.

Jay Thank you, and lock your window.

Catching yourself smiling at your phone you cursed, sending the message a thumbs up only, tossing your phone aside before locking your window and readying yourself for the day. Huffing as you went about your morning routine, getting ready for work and desperately trying steer your thoughts away from the rugged blonde you tried so hard to forget for so long.

~~~~

[Next Part]

I have been wanting to do a JJ story but I’m gonna keep the chapters short like this so I can keep up with them. This will be very angsty and there will be smut later on. This will be focusing on JJ and readers very confusing relationship as they both try and come to terms with how they feel about each other. But as if now JJ is dating Kie. And I love the canon Kie but I did not think I should try and write a full new Pogue for JJ to be manipulated by so this Kie is very much no like the canon Kie we know and love. John B and Sarah also later on act very much out of character but this is intentional.

-Taglist- (ask to be added)

@slut-4-gojo @cali-888

[mrsriddlenott]

~ Oh, It’s You ~

<<Prev ONE Next>>

[Series Masterlist][Main Masterlist]

Ex-Sneaky Link!JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

Adult AU, post season 4 by a year but I won’t be mentioning canon plot points bc of JJ’s s4 ending. Please point out any mistakes❤️

After months of hooking up with JJ in secret, you both began developing deep feelings for each other, but when his friends, Kie especially, learn of your relationship and plot on it’s downfall JJ leaves you reeling and confused as he enters a relationship with his best friend leaving you to wonder what you did to push him away so quickly. Unbeknownst to you however. the blonde was struggling more than he let on, wanting nothing more than to go his own path but feeling trapped with those who used to make him feel free. The only person he can think of now that makes him feel as open as he once did is….you.

Warnings: Angst, Emotional Cheating, ooc Kie(she really sucks for plot), Daddy issues mentioned, JJ’s confused asf.

~~~~

You jump as you step out of your bathroom to the sight of JJ Maybank sprawled across your bed spraying himself with your most expensive perfume.

“Jesus Jay you scared me, how did you get in here?” You ask, your voice breathless as you tug your fluffy robe over your revealing nightgown.

“Climbed,” JJ states with a smirk as though it was entirely acceptable, “you should really lock your window at night by the way.” He adds, flinging his legs off the side of your bed before hopping up to look around your room.

“Well I have never had a guy climb through my window in the middle of the night.” You state, slightly exasperated at the sight of him in your bedroom however at your words JJ’s smile only widens.

“Oh really? I’m the first to have that privilege then?” JJ laughs, looking to you over his shoulder for only a second before he’s turning to your dresser, opening the top drawer to snoop.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, your tone desperate as you hadn’t even heard from the blonde in over a month let alone actually seen him.

“Needed a place to crash, first thought was you.” JJ’s eyes avoid yours while he speaks, your eyebrows furrow at his nonchalant tone as though he hadn’t called off everything between you both right when you thought it might actually move past casual hook ups.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, does Kie know you’re here?” JJ scoffs, his eyes finding yours again, irritation evident in the way he stares back at you.

“I don’t know y/n, she knows she kicked me out of her place because I didn’t want to talk about getting in contact with Rafe fuckin’ Cameron for a job, left me alone outside her house like an idiot knowing I had nowhere to go.” He shrugs, turning to inspect your drawers further before you rush up and slam the second drawer shut, not letting him peak inside at your underwear. You shove him backwards with a glare while he eyes you, smirking with his hands up in mock surrender.

“Look Jay I don’t know what’s going on and I am really sorry but you should probably stay at John B’s or something.” His eyes dim, letting his hands drop to his sides, tugging his lip between his teeth and avoiding your eyes.

“You pissed him off too didn’t you?” You sigh, walking around him with a roll of your eyes. “Fine, but you’re sleeping on the floor.”

“I knew you couldn’t resist me for long.” You roll your eyes at his words, cheeks heating up at how desperate you must seem to him. Letting the man that led you on for months back into your life after he left you for someone so perfect. You and JJ were never official, so it’s not like you could be mad. You agreed to no strings attached and you honestly shouldn’t have been surprised when he said he didn’t want to continue what you had going. But you let yourself be convinced that with each night together getting longer, and each glance across the boneyard feeling deeper, something serious was growing. He made it official with Kie only a week after he stopped asking to see you and that’s when you realized you were just a distraction.

“Well, doesn’t seem like you have the same problem.” You feel the heat of his eyes on your back while you grab an extra blanket and pillow for him, tossing them on the ground with a huff before turning back to JJ trying to maintain a neutral expression, “You should probably leave first thing in the morning my mom doesn’t want guys over.”

“You’re an adult though?” JJ questions, trying to catch your eyes as you desperately avoid his while preparing for bed.

“An adult in my mother’s house.” You state, sliding into bed with your back to him, opting to keep your robe tightly wrapped around yourself despite the heat to keep everything more appropriate. JJ was now a taken man and even though a pang went through your chest at the thought you knew if you were Kie you would hate to learn he spent the night in another woman’s bedroom.

You listen to the way JJ shuffles around the floor trying to get comfortable, fighting the urge to turn around and invite him up just to know he would sleep well. Just knowing he was in the dim light of your dark bedroom for the first time, laying only a few feet away from you, was starting to drive you crazy, and you knew having him in your bed would not be a good idea.

No matter how long you waited for him to finally want to be.

As he lay there on the floor JJ’s eyes stayed locked on the ceiling and sleep avoided him, the thoughts of every night you two spent together rushing through his mind just like they had been for weeks on end. He wanted to tell you the truth but he couldn’t now, you would never believe him, it would sound like he was making up some quick excuse to get in your pants. He never wanted to end things, he wanted you as so much more than a hook up and his friends hated it. Kie hated it. And he didn’t know what to do, he ended things like they said he should and before he knew it Kie was kissing him and like the snap of a finger somehow they were “dating”. Part of him sometimes told him Kie planned this, planting doubt in the possibility of you and him being serious, but that just wasn’t who Kie was.

He could remember the day she found out about you and him, she was livid. She told him you were using him as a way to get over your daddy issues. That you wanted a man your dad would hate because maybe then he would pay attention to you and then you’d end up turning him into some kook and ruining who he was. That all he was to you was a conquest, to tame him until you could take him into your kook life.

But now that he was “with” Kie it seemed more like that was her plan than yours.

When the morning sun hit your eyes waking you up, you quickly noticed the blanket you lent JJ folded neatly with the pillow on top where they were before he used them. Part of you began to think it was all a dream before taking note of the unlocked window he must have used as his exit. You sighed, you knew he’d leave as you asked, he never overstepped like you thought he would before you knew him as well as you did now.

You had to try and stop your chest from feeling heavy at how easy it was for him to leave with no mark left to remind you of his presence.

Just like he left your life.

When you finally checked your phone you were shocked to see his name on your screen. A message from less than an hour ago stating simply.

Jay Thank you, and lock your window.

Catching yourself smiling at your phone you cursed, sending the message a thumbs up only, tossing your phone aside before locking your window and readying yourself for the day. Huffing as you went about your morning routine, getting ready for work and desperately trying steer your thoughts away from the rugged blonde you tried so hard to forget for so long.

~~~~

[Next Part]

I have been wanting to do a JJ story but I’m gonna keep the chapters short like this so I can keep up with them. This will be very angsty and there will be smut later on. This will be focusing on JJ and readers very confusing relationship as they both try and come to terms with how they feel about each other. But as if now JJ is dating Kie. And I love the canon Kie but I did not think I should try and write a full new Pogue for JJ to be manipulated by so this Kie is very much no like the canon Kie we know and love. John B and Sarah also later on act very much out of character but this is intentional.

-Taglist- (ask to be added)

@slut-4-gojo @cali-888

[mrsriddlenott]

JJ Maybank Series!!!!

~ Oh, It’s You ~

Ex-Sneaky Link!JJ Maybank x Kook!Reader

Struggling Adult OBX AU, post season 4 by a year but I won’t be mentioning canon plot points bc of JJ’s s4 ending. This will be very angsty and there will eventually be smut. I don’t have a definitive end to this story yet either so I will likely take y’all’s opinions into account if this story is enjoyable for those of you who read it.

~~~~

After months of hooking up with JJ in secret, you both began developing deep feelings for each other, but when his friends, Kie especially, learn of your relationship and plot on it’s downfall JJ leaves you reeling and confused as he enters a relationship with his best friend leaving you to wonder what you did to push him away so quickly. Unbeknownst to you however. the blonde was struggling more than he let on, wanting nothing more than to go his own path but feeling trapped with those who used to make him feel free. The only person he can think of now that makes him feel as open as he once did is….you.

[Part One]

[Part Two]

[Part Three]

[Part Four]

[Part Five]

[Part Six]

Overall warnings(each chapter will likely have it’s own warnings depending on it’s contents.): Slowburn, Angst, emotional Cheating, ooc Kie(she really sucks but it’s for plot). There will be no sexual cheating on Reader or Kie bc idfwt, the furthest I plan to go is kissing which IS still cheating imo but I live for drama. JJ is very confused in this story for a good while and really doesn’t know what to do to not hurt you or Kie or everyone else he cares about. Eventual smut, fighting and confusion.

Lmk if anyone wants tagged, but if the Taglist gets too long it will be closed just for my own sanity keeping up with it lmao❤️

~~~~

[mrsriddlenott]

~Another Lesson?~

Bsf!JJ Maybank x Innocent!Reader

Warnings: Smut(unprotected piv), Fluff, Love confessions, kinda unrealistic loss of virginity, lil bit of fingering, Praise kink, lil bit of Innocence kink, kinda breeding kink, hints of a Daddy kink, they make out while he’s still covered in grease so wtv warning that needs(I used it to represent his corruption kink😊), a lil bit of roleplaying, they shower together.

Not proofread so point out any mistakes ❤️

{masterlist} • {PART ONE}

————

“Who told you I lost my virginity?” You laugh to Sarah, eyes bouncing between her and Kie as their smiles drop with your words.

“We heard it from some kook, she said she saw you and JJ sneak off together at John B’s party the other night. Said she heard you slept together. She’s been telling everyone.” Sarah’s face contorts in a bit of a grimace at your face as she speaks, eyeing you apologetically.

You scoff, shaking your head as your eyes find JJ’s toned arms where he works under the hood of your rickety old car parked a ways in front of where you and your friends sit on the porch, “It wasn’t for lack of trying, I’ll admit, but no I have not lost it….yet.”

“Yet?” They say in unison as JJ smirks, clearly eavesdropping, his eyes catching yours for a second before returning to his work, “So you were with JJ though?” Kie asks, a smile growing on her face at your accomplishment.

“Yup, finally.” You announce, popping your P proudly and laughing together, catching those blue eyes over their shoulders again. JJ sends a wink your way before leaning across the engine of the beat up truck as you watch his hands, fingers covered in grease and expertly maneuvering. Eyes locked on the action even though you had no clue what he was doing under there, but you sure as hell liked the view his sleeveless shirt gave you.

You lean in as you continue speaking, not wanting to boost JJ’s ego too much more, “It was amazing by the way.” You whisper, leaning back to cross your legs together, ignoring the way JJ’s eyes linger on the action instead of his work on your car.

“That’s good, you deserve to have fun just like the rest of us,” Sarah states simply, smiling at you comfortingly, “Ignore the rumors and just do what you want, I did and it turned out great for me.” She shrugs, smiling as she remembers the secretive early days of her and John B’s relationship.

“That’s exactly what I plan to do Sarah, thank you for the wonderful advice,” Smiling at your obvious boost of confidence your friends look to each other again, knowing of your crush on JJ and understanding your excitement completely.

“If you weren’t gonna be too busy today,” Kie starts in a teasing tone, looking to you as she suppresses a laugh, “We were planning on getting lunch at the Wreck, Cleo’s probably already heading over if you wanna come too?”

“I do not plan to step foot in there on my day off, no offense Kie because I do love it there,” You laugh, watching as they eye eachother knowingly, arching their eyebrows to you suspiciously, “Okay, I might have other reasons to stay at this very empty, very private home, but you don’t need to worry about that.”

“Text us.” Kie states simply, giving you a wink as her and Sarah stand from the old couch in front of you, vanishing towards Kie’s parked car while you stand, making your way to your best friend as he works. Eyeing the sweat that drips down his arm, smiling as you let your eyes wander over his form. Your new found confidence urges you to go to him again, wanting to finally talk to him and get him alone.

“Why do you always insist on working on my car when I bring it over?” You ask, laughing when you approach JJ where he hunches under the hood of your truck. His eyes linger on your short shorts, rising to your exposed midriff from your crop top with a smile before looking up to you, one eye squinted in the sun.

“Because I can’t let you go to some sleezy mechanic who will cheat you outta money or try to get a lil something extra from my girl.” JJ lets his eyes fall back to your exposed thighs, licking his lips before finding your eyes again, “Especially since you look so fuckin’ good Princess.”

“The only mechanic I’d give somethin’ extra to as payment is you Jay.” You laugh, eyeing his greasy fingers as they work on your car with a content sigh at the view of your sweaty, greasy best friend.

“Oh really?” He asks, a teasing glint in his eyes when they meet yours “Well y’see this right here?” JJ says as he points out a suspicious looking piece of metal under the hood of your car, knowing full well you have no clue what’s wrong with it, “That would cost a lot to fix if you weren’t so beautiful Mama.” JJ says with a dramatic hiss, smiling to you as you immediately pick up on what he was doing.

“Oh no,” You exaggerate false worry into your tone, putting a hand in your back pocket and leaning forward to push your chest towards his eyeline, “but I don’t have any money Sir.”

“I’m sure we can work something out.” He laughs, pushing off your car to wipe at his fingers with a rag too coated in grease to really clean anything. His eyes find yours, excitement pooling behind them as they dilate before raking over you again. JJ steps closer to you slowly, dropping his rag as his now free hand reaches for your wrist and in a flash he’s tugging you into him as his other habs grips your waist possessively.

His lips meet yours, exploring your mouth instantly as he walks you backwards, knocking your back into the door of your truck. JJ tangles his fingers in yours, not caring as he smears grease across your waste and hand. Smiling into your mouth when he realizes you don’t care either. Drifting your free hand up his arm and smearing grease over his bicep as he cages you in front of him, tongue forcing it’s way past your lips immediately, making him groan at your taste.

He rakes his hand from yours down your arm, ghosting his fingertips against your skin and leaving dirty lines as they go. Gripping your waist on both sides to leave prints behind JJ marks you as he steps back to look at you, inhaling deeply at the sight of you dirtied just for him. You whine at the loss of him, tugging him back to you and smashing your lips into his and letting your tongue take over in his moment of shock.

“Do you wanna go inside?” JJ asks tugging himself off you, his lips still ghosting against yours as his hands pull at the loops of your shorts. Eyes falling for a second to take in the markings of grease across your skin, biting his lip and letting his eyes find yours again.

“Yes, but we need to clean up first.” You sigh, “You left handprints all over one of my favorite pairs of shorts Jay.” You huff, slipping your way out of his arms, knowing he would follow you as you make your way into the Chateau.

“I didn’t hear you complaining a second ago when you were practically melting in these filthy hands Gorgeous.” He counters, biting at his bottom lip when your eyes meet his again. You know if you had told him to stop he would have but something about being marked up by your working man sent tingles across your skin.

“You are genuinely so lucky this isn’t one of my good shirts JJ,” You say, tugging your shirt forward in order to stare down at the smudges of grease on your crop top, exasperated tone showing your annoyance despite your happiness at being alone with him again, “I would be throwing a fit if I wore my cropped white tank top.”

“Oh Baby me too, I fuckin’ love that shirt,” He wolf whistles as he follows you towards the small bathroom at the end of the hall, “Your nipples always poke out of it since you don’t wear a bra, gives Papa Jay a great view when the AC works.” He laughs, making little pinching motions with his fingers as he speaks, watching your back when you slip your ruined shirt off over your head to toss it out.

You fake gasp at his words, acting as though you didn’t do it on purpose just for him, “You perv,” you giggle turning to him with your hands on your hips, chest on full display for the first time as his jaw drops.

“Holy shit, can I touch em?” JJ practically begs, wetting his lips as his eyes bounce between your eyes and your chest. Without answering him, you turn away quickly, walking the rest of the way into the bathroom with JJ hot on your heels. You shriek a little when he smacks your ass, gripping the flesh tightly and leaving an almost perfect handprint of grease directly over the pocket of your shorts.

“I’mma hang these up as decor.” He hisses, gripping your hips tightly and leaning back to observe his handy work. “Look so fuckin’ hot all dirty for me, my innocent little girl gettin’ all messy just for me.” JJ states as he starts to enter the bathroom behind you, making you laugh to yourself as you attempt to shut the door. His foot quickly blocks it from shutting, his hand pushing on it as he laughs to you.

“Sorry, did you wanna shower first?” You ask teasingly when JJ pushes his way past the closing door. His eyes glint with happiness at your closeness in the small bathroom, turning to close and lock the door behind him quickly. His eyes rake over you, hunger raging behind them at the sight of your teasing smile, the pop of your hip, the rise and fall of your exposed chest. And he just can’t stop himself.

“We’ll save water if we do it together,” JJ says, jumping forward to kiss you, shoving you backwards by a strong grip on your waist, not caring if he leaves you entirely covered in filthy handprints. Gripping the hem of your shorts and tugging them down your thighs as he stares JJ contemplates a second before smearing a handprint across your thigh. Clearly not satisfied JJ drags his hand up his dirtied arms, smudging the grease further and collecting more before smacking it onto your thigh again. “Stay just like that for a second.” JJ orders as he tugs his phone out of his pocket, snapping a few quick pictures of his fist, filthy and gripping at your thigh before tossing it down onto the counter loudly.

“Now I get to help clean you up.” He sighs, gently shoving you backwards towards the shower and letting you step in before tugging his clothes off and following you in. “I have imagined this too many times Baby, you are literally helping make my fantasies a reality right now.”

“Lemme guess, you soiled me on purpose?” You fill your voice with a sultry tone, emphasizing your words with a flick of your tongue in his direction. “You wanted to clean me up after hm?” Turning around with a smile, letting JJ get an eyes full of your naked body. Listening as his breath catches at your question, his eyes following the way you bend down to turn on the water, letting it start to cascade down your back, taking some of the gease with it and painting down your legs, giving him a veiw of a lifetime.

JJ slotted himself behind you, placing a hand on your tailbone, snaking the other to your chest and tugging you up to him. Your back snug against his chest as he breaths in your ear, his fingers dig into your flesh as he controls himself.

“What do you want from me?” JJ breaths against your ear, his hands running up and down your waist, snaking around and playing in the darkening soapy water swirling off your body. Watching as it pools below you, swirling and working it’s way down the drain.

“What do you mean Jay?” Your voice comes out breathless, your heart banging against your ribcage, focusing on the water to control the shivers running over your body despite the steam rising around you.

“You’re fuckin’ perfect y’know that? I would give you anything you wanted,” His hands still for a second before spinning you around in front of him, steading you quickly as you gasp, “I just need to know what that is.” His voice comes out desperate, his eyes fighting the urge to drop down your body. “I want to be honest with you and that means telling you how much I want you, because I want so much more than sex.” Dirtied water slips down his chest and through his chiseled abs as your eyes follow it, giving yourself time to respond as you take a deep breath.

“I want more too, I’ve always wanted you as more than a friend, I thought it was obvious Jay.” His bright, excited eyes meet yours as a smile spreads across his face. He stares at for what feels like forever before his mouth is attacking yours again. Your back hits the cold shower wall as his hands explore your body freely.

“Tell me how you want me,” JJ whispers, “Please I want ta hear it, need to.” He groans, his head dropping to nip at the skin on your neck.

“I want you with me, even during all the bad moments, with or without the gold I just want you,” You smile as he stares down at you, the water from the showers dancing down your face as he tries to comprehend everything he’s feeling, “I want every version of you, I wanna celebrate with you and I wanna be there to help you when you crash out.”

“You already do that Baby.” He laughs, tugging you into him, his forehead resting on your shoulder as he sighs taking a second to inhale your scent before pulling back to look you in the eye, “I’m in love with you, you know?”

“I love you Jay.” You whisper, your words heavy as you watch his eyes watch yours. His smile only grows as you continue, “I think I always have.”

“That is so good to hear,” He groans, smasing his lips into yours, his hands run up your wet back tugging you off the wall, settling you both directly under the flow of the shower head. His mouth explores yours, water mingling in your mouths with each others spit before he’s pulling off you again. JJ’s hand falls to his body wash, wasting no time in popping the cap off to squirt it across your chest, “You’re gonna smell like me Gorgeous, everyone will know who you’re with.”

His calloused hands spread accross your chest, the bodywash becoming sudsy as JJ plays with your boobs, “Are you havin’ fun Jay?” You giggle, watching his look of pure adoration grow, spreading soap over your upper body.

“I am gonna be imagining this for a long time.” JJ whispers, squeezing at your boobs as you watch him with a smile.

“You didn’t even get them dirty Jay,” You state as you grab his body wash, laughing as you force him hands off of you and start to actually clean his filthy forearms, “Turn around.” JJ immediately listens, turning and showing you his muscular back as he flexes to show off.

“You know you have an amazing back,” you sigh, lathering him with soap as he cleans his front to save time, “I always watch it when you surf.”

“I know you do,” He laughs, breath hitching when your hands run down his lower back, snaking around and feeling his hard abs under your fingertips, “I show off for you a lot.”

“Really?” Your giddy tone has him turning around in your arms, letting your hans rest just above his ass, “Just for me?”

“I’ve spent years wanting you to watch me like all the other girls on this island do, of course I noticed when you did. If I thought it meant you felt the same I would have asked you out sooner.” JJ ghosts his hand across your hips and up your body, lingering on your chest for a second longer before moving up, gripping at your chin in both his hands as he stares into your eyes.

“Can I take you out somewhere tomorrow night?” You laugh at the desperate tone in his voice, shaking your head as your hands run up to lock behind his neck.

“I think we both already know the answer to the question Jay.”

“I wanna hear you say it though.” He begs, eyes bouncing between yours watching for any hint of deception, not entirely certain you felt what he wanted you to.

“Yes JJ, you may take me out on a date.” You whisper against his ear, tugging it into your teeth before continuing, “Do I need to wait until then for you to fuck me?”

“Nope, whenever you want it I can give it to ya’” You continue cleaning yourselves, letting his scent cover you as you help eachother wash your hair. You can feel the anticipation seeping through you as JJ turns the water off, stepping out before you and reaching back for your hand.

“I didn’t bring a change of clothes,” You realize, looking to the door and back to your naked bodies.

“I’d just be taking them off of you anyway,” He jokes, “I’ll give you some of mine and when were done I’ll put yours in the wash.” JJ’s voice stays calm despite the excitement coursing through him as he drapes his towel around you, wrapping you up like a present before opening the door to the bathroom. The house was empty but he knew you wouldn’t want to walk the short distance to his bedroom exposed so he blocks your towel-clad body with his own as he directs you into his bedroom. Immediately JJ turns, shutting and locking the doors behind him as you stand, wrapped in his towel before him.

He approaches you slowly, his hands immediately falling to tug the towel open admiring you like a piece of art, “I want you to lay down for me.” He says, excitement laced in his voice, trying to control himself as his eyes rake across you as of it was the very first time.

“Why don’t you make me?” Your teasing smile makes him laugh, poking his tongue into his cheek as he watches you. In a flash his hands shove the towel over your shoulders tossing it aside before shoving at your waist and pushing you both onto the bed behind you.

“I’m gonna finger you first okay? Get you ready f’me,” JJ nods as he speaks, making sure you’re following him, “You okay with that?”

“Of course Jay, I trust you.” Your legs spread subconsciously for him as he leans over you. JJ ghosts his fingertips across your thigh as he slowly moves closer to where you want him. His calloused fingers twitching in excitement as they reach your wet slit.

“Fuck you might not even need to be stretched out first you’re so fuckin’ wet,” He groaned, immediately slipping his middle finger into you with a sigh. The moan you release as he expertly maneuvers his finger sends a smile spreading across his face as he stares down at your face, “Is that good Baby?”

“Yes, yes do it again.” You gasp, your hand running up his muscular bicep beside you as he quickly moves to shove a second finger inside of you, watching your expression for any sign of discomfort as he slowly pulls them out of you. Watching your face with a smile as he slowly enters your again, happy to give you what you want.

His fingers thrust into you as your back arches against his bed at the new sensation. JJ feels as your juices slip around him, your arousal doubling as you prepare to take him in. His thumb plays with your clit as his fingers work inside of you, feeling your cervix as he caresses his fingers against your walls. He pushes himself up, leaving you feeling empty as he lines himself up with you almost impatiently before speaking, “Do you want me to wear a condom? I have some if you-“

“Would it be weird if I said no,” You interrupt, letting your nails dig into his shoulders as he stares at you with wide eyes, “I wanna feel it when you cum.”

“Jesus fuck that’s like the hottest thing you have ever said,” JJ hisses out as he presses his tip past your folds, groaning at the contact as he slides it through, coating himself in your juices. “I’ve never raw dogged anyone before,” His voice was breathless, talking through the tingles cascading down his spine at the thought of you being a first of his too, “I can’t promise I’ll last long when you’re all laid out for me and ready to please.”

“Don’t worry, we are doing this again.” Your voice comes out breathy and demanding as his tip slowly enters you.

“Fuck I love when you’re all bossy.” JJ sighs, breathing heavily as he holds himself above you by his forearm. JJ watches your face intently, slowing as he takes in the grimace on your face while you stretch around him. “You okay?” He whispers, the sound of his voice so close and soft that it may as well of been inside your own head.

“Yes, just keep going please.” You beg, your eyes meeting JJ’s as he bottoms out inside of you. Your jaw hangs open with a silent moan, the look in your best friends eyes as though he’s physically holding himself back makes it feel as though you’ll burst open any second. Heat rises up your chest and across your face at the squeaky sound of your own throat. The giggle JJ releases above you as his hand not supporting his weight caresses your cheek with a smile calms you. The feeling washing over you as JJ slowly removes himself from you, resting just the tip inside of you before entering you again slightly faster.

JJ holds back a moan as you suck him in deeper and deeper, the feeling of your walls tightening around him driving him crazy as he tries to hear every little sound you make rather than his own. The feeling of your nails digging into his side as he sets a slow pace makes him stutter inside of you, his tip twitching when his eyes meet yours. Yours pupils were blown wide, your mouth open as you moan his name like music serenading him, “Fuck.”

He mumbles, his teeth digging into his bottom lip as his dick pulsates inside of you. Your juices covering him, the feeling of your thighs locking around him and the sound of your pleasure start to send him overboard. “Fuck fuck fuck, I need to make you…cum before me.”

You laugh below him, a moan mixed with humor as your lip gets caught in your teeth, “No you don’t, your hands run against the muscles of his back, scratching him softly as you lean up to whisper in his ear. “I want you to cum inside of me Jay,” His pace quickens, his hips stuttering as he grunts, babbling slightly as he tries to stop himself, “right now.” Your lips graze his ear as you speak, a shiver running down his spine as he releases inside of you. Moaning loudly into your hair as his hands subconsciously grip your waist, tugging you impossibly closer, remaining connected as hot strips of his cum fill you.

The feeling makes you sigh below him, feeling marked and respected at the same time. JJ’s head shoots up as he comes out of his haze of pleasure, his eyes meeting your with an almost angry hunger. “I wanted to make you come.”

“Nothing’s stopping us from going again and again and again every chance we have Jay. You did exactly what I wanted.” You say with a teasing smile, JJ pulls back from you, eyes wide as he watches his cum seep out of you from around his dick.

“Fuck this is the hottest thing I have ever seen,” His eyes dart all over you, feeling complete yet somehow wanting more of everything you have to offer him. “You can always come to Papa Jay to get filled up Baby.”

——

Please point out any errors ❤️

Some blogs who wanted tagged wouldn’t let me so i am sorry

@ifilwtmfc @weeeoosworld @just-here-for-the-fanfictions @queennvane64 @maybankslover

[mrsriddlenott]

at first, stiles didn't even notice it. the way his heart would race and his cheeks would flush; he was used to having that reaction around you. so used to it, in fact, that he had stopped letting it be a distraction. you'd giggle at his joke or look up at him through your lashes and he'd blush, fidget, move on. like his own little routine.

what got distracting was when he had made the sudden realization one day: you're hot. 

the two of you had been friends for so long, crushing for almost that whole time, that by the time stiles looked up and saw you in your bikini, it was too late to turn back. he was a goner.

literally-he was out of lydia's backyard and in her half bathroom before you could even ask him to help with your sunscreen.

holy shit. he gripped the sink, glaring at his flushed reflection. get yourself together, perv. so she's got nice tits. really, really nice tits and thighs that could suffocate you and jesus her hips-

no! nope, no no no nonono. it is way too early for this. get real. she's seen you recite the entire opening crawl of the force awakens. she is not going to do that with you- woah! or that! get it together. get it together. get it together.

and so stiles marches back out where you and your friends are gathered, playing marco polo. you glance at him and smirk in that way the tells him you're totally cheating, only proven true when allison calls out "marco!" and you slide past her in the water without joining in the choruses of "polo!"s from all over the pool.

stiles stiffens. your goddamn smirk. 

this is going to be a loooong day.

☆

and it was. a long day that ended in his right hand wrapped around his cock and a fantasy he wouldn't repeat even if there was a gun to his head. 

but that was over, and it was three days later, anyway. the pack was meeting at the movies to see a new romcom, which the girls were excited for, and the guys were... hoping it had a good soundtrack. it's not that they didn't want to go, it's just that their time- well, stiles' time could be better spent on things like useless research and avoiding his homework. that was his mindset walking into the theater.

now, he's about three inches from having no mindset at all. you're sat next to him, too close for him to remember a single detail of the movie, and you're wearing a tank top. low cut. lace trim on the top. prettiest color he's ever seen.

and stiles can see straight down it. 

every time he glances over at you, whether it be an excuse of reaching for the popcorn or making a joke or listening to you talk, he has a view down your top right to where your tits are pressed together, rising and falling subtly with each breath. he wonders what the smooth skin of your breasts would look like covered in hickeys. he imagines the sounds you'd make if he had you pinned down, mouth enveloping your pert nipples. he-

he gets up a little too hastily when he rushes out of the theater, into the quiet hall.

"god," he mumbles, tugging his own hair. "fuck."

he has to will his blood to cooperate before he can show his face again.

☆

it's getting worse. 

stiles is chewing on the cap of the marker he has in his hand, eyes darting all over his murder board.

"wouldn't they hunt in packs? this fable here, it reads... stiles?"

stiles turns on his heel, watching you now as you sit on his bed. he's been avoiding looking at you lately, since just recently he had a close call when you hit your knee on scott's coffee table and whined a dramatic 'ahh', leaving stiles to imagine that noise, that face you made in other scenarios.

it's been harder (ha, ha, yeah, no pun intended. he's struggling.) since you asked to come over and help with some research he was doing after a meeting with deaton. you sat all pretty and focused on his bed, twirling and tucking and sometimes tugging your hair when you read out of a book he had borrowed (stolen) from the argent's.

so when he looked at you now, it was with great mental strength. especially when you started rattling off a really smart point he didn't think anyone else would notice that he had realized twenty minutes ago, giving him some time to zone out and watch as you gather your hair behind you, tying it up in a ponytail while you look up at him through your lashes. giving him a second to imagine you looking at him like that with your lips wrapped around his cock, letting him guide you by the ponytail-

stilinski! great. mental. strength.

he turns back to the murder board and nods, eyes squeezed shut as he feels the familiar heat spread all over and his jeans get tight. "yeah, that's- i know, that's a good point."

he hears you shift, the way you get noticeably quiet. "stiles, are you... is everything alright? you seem off."

he shrugs, nods, shrugs again. swallows. "yeah. just a bit tired, that's all."

he can feel your disbelief, but he'd rather feel that then disgust. you both sigh at the same time, and the evening moves on.

☆

it's pretty much every time he sees you now. he's a mess, unable to choose between relieving himself and willing his dick to cooperate. you've made a mess of stiles, and he's dying.

you're wearing leggings today, talking to scott while stiles watches from the bench. coach is barking orders at a couple of stray lacrosse boys, and stiles is lucky enough to have dodged his attention this evening.

game night is usually when he's free of the hold you have on him, too busy gnawing on his goalie gloves and tracking scott across the field. but you and allison showed up early (curse scott and his happy relationship), so his pea-sized brain has time to imagine sliding the buttery fabric down your legs, kissing exposed skin as he goes. he'd definitely pay close attention to your thighs- he thinks about those more than he'd care to admit, and he's aware of how idiotically insecure of them you are. 

because of his train of thought, he doesn't realize you've caught him staring until it's too late. you're prancing over excitedly and leaving scott to smirk at stiles all knowingly, and stiles resists the urge to flip him off.

"you gonna play, 24?" you nudge his foot teasingly with your own. he looks up at you and feels those telltale signs as he fanaticizes about tracing the line of your jaw with his finger, both of you panting softly as he coos at you while you whine pathetically. he has to blink away the thought before he can speak.

"um, i hope not. it's an important game." he leans back a bit and you tilt your head, clearly mulling over your next words. he fills the space in the meantime. "but if i do, i'll be sure to keep away from the ball."

it's music to his ears when you laugh. finally, finally he's blushing about something normal, having regular fantasies instead of these hormone fueled pornos that seem to be on repeat in his head lately. he smiles up at you and you take a small step closer to being in between his legs.

"i don't mean to bring it up so randomly..." you avoid his eyes, fiddling with your hands. "but i was just wondering if i've done something to upset you?"

he blinks. "what?"

"it's just that you've been distant and honestly, you're acting kind of like you're allergic to me. if i did something or there's something going on just tell me. it's kinda driving me crazy." you ramble, brows drawn together in discomfort. 

stiles' eyes widen and he shakes his head, standing. his heart skips a beat when you have to tilt your chin up a bit to keep his eyes. "no, of course not. i didn't know... i guess i've... it's just-" he sighs and rubs the back of his neck. how is he supposed to explain this? 'oh, hey, girl i've been super into for a pathetically long time, i've been imagining what you'd look like if i pinned you to my bed and drove us both insane from a sex marathon! that's cool, right? not objectifying at all!'

you frown, crossing your arms. "just tired?"

it's bait, he knows it is. the same excuse he used less than a week ago to keep you from figuring him out. you're a clever girl and he's stupid when he's horny, so he has to play his cards right here. if you think he's lying, things will only get worse and there's a hefty chance you'll distance yourself. but if he tells a lie a little too well, you're going to be around him constantly again. either way, he's starting to wonder if he's a masochist from the amount of pain he's going to inflict on himself.

"it's nothing, really. i didn't mean to get distant." he clenches his jaw as he gauges your reaction, which is a less-than-ideal-but-not-terrible pout. he wants to smooth the lines of your forehead with his thumb and make you laugh again, but he has to focus. "let me make it up to you?"

you turn your face away (very, very not good) and huff. "no, don't worry about it."

stiles cringes internally and bites the inside of his cheek. how can he un-dig this hole he's in? "no, no, i want to. i shouldn't have made you worry. that's my fault. i'll pick you up tomorrow, we can get food. my treat."

you turn back to face him, and the way your bottom lip just barely juts out tells him you're playing it up, but he doesn't mind. he's come to realize that you like to feel earned, and he's more than happy to earn you. he takes a breath, eyebrows raised. "what are you thinking?"

you drop the pout (much to his relief, he was just starting to imagine you using that face on him when he makes you tell him exactly what you want him to do to you) and put your hands on your (perfect, sexy) hips. "i'm thinking that if you didn't mean to get distant then it was subconscious, and it's going to be more of an effort to be around me than not."

so clever. god, you're so hot when you use critical thinking skills. 

stiles sighs and shuffles a bit. "yeah, okay, i can understand where you're getting that but it's wrong-"

"but it isn't. you've been proving it right all week and-"

"hold on, no i haven't, i've just been-"

"-you definitely lied to me in your room a few days ago-"

"-there's no way you're actually believing-"

"STILINSKI!" coach's voice booms over both of you, halting the beginning of an argument that probably would have only turned stiles on more. he whips his head around to where the entire team is gathered, and realizes he was so wrapped up in you that he tuned out everything around him, including the team rallying together to talk strategy before the game started. he blinks, distantly hearing you mumble a mortified "oh." and skitter off, leaving stiles to be completely embarrassed alone.

"would you like to join us or are you too busy harassing the young ladies in the general area?" coach's tone is strung with impatience, eyes wide.

"ah..." stiles glances to the spot you just stood in and then back to the team. "no, coach, 'm coming."

"fantastic." he drawls, before turning back to the team and continuing his rant. stiles is half-listening, half-daydreaming about 'making it up to you' in many different ways, positions, and places. for many hours.

yeah, he's dead. for sure. you're killing him.

☆

although making it up to you currently involved a lot more clothing and a lot less begging, stiles was having a really good time. sat in his room, arguing about book to movie adaptations, both of you holding your own milkshakes. with all his time spent avoiding you out of... sex-driven fear? he really forgot how much he enjoyed your company.

"you wouldn't get it," you shake your head stubbornly as he stands and sets his milkshake on his desk so he can use the dry erase board in his room. "you don't read books."

"i do-"

"yeah, i don't count the bestiary."

"that's besides the point, anyway. i don't have to read the book to know whether the movie is a good adaptation or not!" he starts writing down movies he knows are heavily based off of books while you crawl across his floor to his desk, sneaking a spoonful of vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. he's too busy to notice that the half-melted treat dribbles off of the spoon and spills above the cut of your tank top (the same one as the movie theater, actually) and onto your exposed thighs.

"fuck." you hiss under your breath. stiles turns to see what caused your quiet outburst, but his brain screeches to a halt at the sight of you.

perched on your knees, you're glaring down at the mess that's been spilled on the top of your tits and thighs, white sliding down to the line where they're pressed together. stiles doesn't even blink, just stares with a slightly open mouth at the sight of you. a small noise leaves his mouth and he can feel the tent in his sweats, but he's a bit frozen.

you look up when he makes the strangled grunt, looking caught with his milkshake in your hand, as if that's his issue right now. "uhh... whoops? i swear, it just flew into my hand! how crazy is that...."

your joke trails off as you really see his face. his eyes are dark and hungry, almost predatory as they sweep over your body, hanging on the spills that you made. his mouth shuts and his jaw clenches. his hands are curled into restrained, white-knuckled fists. and...

he's hard as a fucking rock.

it's easy to tell, with his grey sweatpants, and you feel your mouth water at the sight.

"it's fine." he mumbles, voice dry. you take a second before you realize he's talking about the milkshake. both of you are bright red. you force out a breath and he seems to come to, turning back around quickly. "uh, s-so, harry potter-"

"is that because of me?" you blurt, getting hotter in the cheeks every second.

"is... oh. um, i'm sorry, sorry, fucking shit-" he's not facing you.

"stiles."

stiles quiets, turning to face you finally. your stomach swoops and you shuffle barely closer. his adams apple bobs.

"yeah. it... it is"

that's it. a simple confession, but it feels like a chord being snapped between the two of you. your confidence grows. you made stiles like that.

"are you gonna do something about it?"

his head snaps up, eyes wide as he looks at you. "you want me to?"

"why else would i ask, stiles?" you sound almost exasperated, like he's taking to long. he swallows and drops to his knees in front of you.

stiles. is crawling towards you. on his knees.

"are you... do you really?" he's close, so close now. looking into your eyes like they'll answer for you. like they contain every 'yes' you've been too scared to whisper.

which, honestly, is probably not far from true.

"i do. i really, really, d-"

his lips are on yours before you can finish, one hand cupping the back of your neck to bring you closer. you let out a muffled noise of surprise, mouth opening on it's own accord as stiles takes the kiss deeper, tongue exploring your mouth hotly.

"you're impossible-" stiles gasps, going in for more before he can finish. "-to be around-" his teeth nip your bottom lip. "-when i can't have you."

his lips leave a wet kiss on the corner of your mouth, so passionate that he misses, and he continues that trail onto your neck until he finds the spot that makes you squirm. his hands go to your waist, pulling you closer and knocking your knees together. you feel dizzy with want, barely registering his words.

"what-" you gasp, blinking and leaning into his demanding mouth. "what is that supposed to mean?"

stiles groans against the skin of your neck, kissing lower, closer to the sticky mess you made just minutes ago. "i can't think... can't even... fuckin'... breathe when you're near, y'look so pretty. j'st wanna make you-"

he interrupts himself again, opting instead to lick the ice cream off the top of your tits like he's starving. you gasp as the feel of his tongue against your skin, pressing your thighs together to try and relieve some of the sudden pressure shooting down your stomach to your core. he's barely making sense and he still has you all foggy brained, swaying just a bit under his touch.

"you-you've thought about this? befo- oh-" you stumble, as he tugs lightly against the low cut to give himself better access to the sweetness melted onto your skin. he laughs, seeming to clear up a bit.

"yeah. you kidding me? i've basically been-" he's kissing back up your neck now, seeming to track a path to your lips. "-perpetually hard for the past three weeks."

you swallow thickly and he captures your lips. stiles tastes like vanilla ice cream and it's the most tempting sin, luring you over the edge. enticing you to do things you'd normally pretend you weren't into. he runs a hand down the side of your body, squeezing your hip lightly. "you're torture, you know that?"

"i could say the same to you."

he smiles at you, like a sap, like a saint. you feel your mind fall into his hands and your heart nestle against his ribcage. you no longer belong to yourself. you never have. and neither does he, it seems, as his eyes wander all over you.

"wanna move to the bed? i can clean up your thighs..." his tone is low, clearly suggestive in a bad-pickup-line way. you nod, giggling girlishly and stiles hauls you up to gently lay you back on his bed, tugging your tank top off on the way. his eyes linger on your chest before moving along, kissing a wet trail down your body as he hooks his fingers into the waistband of your shorts. "god, look at you. you're gorgeous."

it's not like you're wearing lingerie and sexy makeup- you went to stiles' place to lounge, so you're wearing your lounge bra and some comfy shorts. stiles looks at you, though, as if you invented beauty. he sighs contentedly as he pulls your bottoms off slowly, eyes drinking in your stomach and hips and thighs like you're the first woman to have them. once he's got them far off enough, his hands press your hips back down and his eyes meet yours.

"not to late to back out. well- obviously it's never too late, it's just... okay, this is me asking for consent. i was trying to make it sexy, but it sounded a bit rapey."

you laugh breathlessly and nod at him where he stands, towering above your almost-naked form. "stiles, please stop talking and fulfill both of our fantasies already."

stiles grins and tugs his shirt halfway off before stopping abruptly. "wait- both?"

you roll your eyes. "stiles, why would i be so... so..."

"obedient?" he offers with a cocky smirk. you flush.

"agreeable, if i didn't want this?" you nibble your lip as he pulls his shirt the rest of the way off his body, getting on his knees at the edge of the bed and spreading your legs. your body moves pliantly under his hands. the sight of it all is downright promiscuous.

"well," stiles presses a kiss to the inside of your knee. it would be sweet if not for the sinful way his eyes are preoccupied with the wet spot on your panties. "i heard girls find consent sexy. maybe i screwed that one up a bit. what do you think is sexy?" 

he asks in that absent tone that tells you he's storing away information as he kisses further up the inside of your thighs more fervently. you let out a breath that feels too shaky too early and watch as his pink tongue swipes out to lick up some ice cream spill. it makes you clench around nothing. 

"any day now." his hand is gently rubbing your thigh as he moves to lick and suck almost crudely at your other thigh.

your eyes narrow slightly. "gimme a second."

he gets closer to where you're literally soaked for him, nibbling lightly at the plush flesh of your inner thigh. you shove down a low whine of impatience to avoid your already growing embarrassment.

"your attention to foreplay is- i like it." you admit softly and he hums, licking a stripe of ice cream out of the way. taking a second to think, you continue. "i like the... the desperation. how you took me without really... um... i like it when you just do what you want, i mean."

it's difficult to form a single thought once stiles presses a kiss against your clothed clit, being sure to add plenty of pressure. almost like a reward. "what if you don't like what i want? will you tell me to stop?"

you nod, chest rising and falling heavily with every breath. you glance down at stiles, and a small sound leaves your lips when your eyes catch his hand down his sweats, slowly stroking himself. he flushes. 

"you.... can't i help?"

he lets out a small moan and his eyes flutter as he halts his movements. "i don't- i don't have a condom."

against all better judgement, you shake your head and thread your fingers through his messy hair. "it's okay. just pull out, yeah?"

his brows shoot up, and you wonder for a moment if he's about to cum in his pants. but then he nods and rises, standing in between your legs now. his fingers deftly tug off your panties, pocketing them in his sweats (for "safe keeping") and his lips part silently once you're exposed to him.

your legs begin to close, feeling suddenly too naked and too insecure for his hungry eyes, but his hands catch your knees easily, even giving you a little tap as a sign to scoot further onto the bed.

before you comply, curiosity takes over and you tug at the strings on his sweatpants. "wait, what about you?"

he tilts his head. "what about me?"

you narrow your eyes, fingers dipping under the band. "can i take these off?"

"oh!" his brows shoot up, as if he forgot about himself altogether. "oh, yeah, of course. please."

you waste no time pulling his bottoms off, his cock springing out. it's flushed and leaking, looking properly erotic in the dim lighting of his room. your eyes flutter up to meet his and you wrap your hands around him, pumping twice.

stiles moans, hips twitching into your hands on their own accord. "holy shit."

part of you just wants to finish him that way, positively fucking hooked on the look he has, pleasure pinching his pretty face all tight. he pants and pulls your hands away, eyes squeezing shut for just a moment. "y're gonna make me cum, holy shit."

"i'm sorry, you just..." you fluster, laughing a tad at the both of you. he shakes his head, though, so you fall silent and let him crawl over top of you, kissing you deeply. he unhooks your bra with a bit of struggle and you both have to cooperate to get it off of your body. you giggle, and his eyes are locked on you as your smile slowly fades.

"don't be sorry," his voice is gentle, "i've imagined that so many times it should be criminal." he kisses you again and you feel his fingers graze along your stomach. stiles pulls back far enough to see your whole face and you wonder why- then his thumb is circling your clit.

the high-pitched gasp you suck in is not as embarrassing as the louder whine that leaves your lips once he's slid a finger into you, eyes closing for a moment to soak in the bliss. it feels like heaven, for a long moment. but his fingers are slow. too slow. and even when you cant your hips, he doesn't speed up enough to have you seeing stars (like you know he can). instead, he has you writhing impatiently. "you're... stiles, please."

it's whiney and pathetic, but stiles seems to stifle a smirk when he hears it, covering it with a sympathetic pout instead. "i know, pretty girl, i know. you gonna ask nicely?"

and you knew you gave him permission to do whatever he wanted. but you didn't expect to be into it. your lips part and you almost tell him to shut up and fuck you already. but you're hot with embarrassment and something else he can totally feel when your walls clench around his torturous fingers. so instead, you opt for falling right into his hands.

"please, stiles, fuck me already." you whisper, lips brushing against his when you speak. "please."

"there we go." he presses a peck to your lips and slips his fingers out. "such a good girl."

you aren't given any time to process that and the fact that it made you throb like a personal whore- stiles is already swiping his tip through your folds, making you gasp when it catches on your clit. he's panting heavily as he lines himself up, and you're a little surprised when he finds your hand and laces his own against it. 

then, he's stretching you open and you're seeing stars, just like you knew he could make you do.

stiles is sweet, but he's not exactly gentle. hips rolling into you and his tongue pressing against your own. a hand pinning you to the bed and keeping him upright, the other tweaking your nipples or teasing your clit. he's all over you, pulling back every once in awhile to watch the way you arch your back and gasp out unintelligible pleas. his moans are about as pathetic as yours and he hisses "fuck" into your ear when you clench around him tightly. your dance goes on like this for a moment, and he's rambling horny nonsense constantly.

"stiles, 'm close-" you whimper, free hand pulling him closer by the hair. he gasps out and his hips snap roughly. 

"yeah, me too. jesus, you're so perfect. look at you." he pushes some of your hair out of the way, eyes meeting yours. "you gonna cum for me?"

you nod, eyebrows turning up as you feel the warmth crawl up your belly. your free hand tugs at his mussed up hair again and his expression matches yours. he speeds up and you gasp and whimper, pliant under his body as he fucks you into his mattress.

"stiles, fuck, stiles, i'm-"

"that's it, there you go, hooooly fuck." he holds your hips down when you finish, rutting into you with an open mouth. he's got his forehead pressed against your own, swallowing each others desperate moans as he rides you through your orgasm. stiles' moan is sudden and loud when he pulls out in a rush and finishes on your cunt, his tip pressing into your overstimulated clit and making your legs twitch.

you gasp out a breath and sink into the mattress, sighing contentedly. when your eyes flutter open on heavy lids, stiles is gazing at you. he leans down and kisses you, soft and sweet and full of a confession long coming.

"that was..."

"amazing." he finishes dazedly, hands running over your bare skin anywhere he can reach. "want me to use my mouth?"

your brows raise. "stiles, i just came."

"i know." he sighs, playing with some of your hair. "it was so fucking hot."

"you said you've been perpetually hard for three weeks?" you attempt to change the subject, but stiles only grins wider.

"yeah, so i've got plenty more fantasies to play out before i'm out of steam."

you shove him lightly, fighting a flustered smile. "just- give me a second, you dog!" 

"awooooo." stiles deadpans an imitation of a howl, nuzzling into your neck. "let me know when you're ready. i'll just be here. naked. on top of you. in the mood to make you pass out from orgasms. willing to learn every kink you have- which, hey, the praise kink was a good guess, right?"

you groan, pushing him off of you. your face is flushed red and you snatch his nearby discarded t-shirt when you sit up. "that was so out of left field."

"yeah, but was it? i mean, you-"

"i'm getting in the shower, stiles." you stand and take a few steps away from him before you turn to gauge his reaction.

his eyebrows shoot up from where he sits on the bed. it makes you bright fucking red when his eyes trail down and he watches a bead of his own cum slide down your inner thigh. he licks his lips.

"i'll come with."

☆

this is from the vault, so if you've read it already, that's why! don't be afraid to interact with it anyway, i love crazy readers and feral responses sjdjsaskdj