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[mundanetony-blog]

Pocket Cheese Privacy Policy

Levhi Makes Games built the Pocket Cheese app as a Commercial app. This SERVICE is provided by Levhi Makes Games and is intended for use as is.

This page is used to inform visitors regarding my policies with the collection, use, and disclosure of Personal Information if anyone decided to use my Service.

If you choose to use my Service, then you agree to the collection and use of information in relation to this policy. The Personal Information that I collect is used for providing and improving the Service. I will not use or share your information with anyone except as described in this Privacy Policy.

The terms used in this Privacy Policy have the same meanings as in our Terms and Conditions, which is accessible at Pocket Cheese unless otherwise defined in this Privacy Policy.

Information Collection and Use

For a better experience, while using our Service, I may require you to provide us with certain personally identifiable information, including but not limited to access to device storage. The information that I request will be retained on your device and is not collected by me in any way.

The app does use third party services that may collect information used to identify you.

Link to privacy policy of third party service providers used by the app

Google Play Services

Log Data

I want to inform you that whenever you use my Service, in a case of an error in the app I collect data and information (through third party products) on your phone called Log Data. This Log Data may include information such as your device Internet Protocol (“IP”) address, device name, operating system version, the configuration of the app when utilizing my Service, the time and date of your use of the Service, and other statistics.

Cookies

Cookies are files with a small amount of data that are commonly used as anonymous unique identifiers. These are sent to your browser from the websites that you visit and are stored on your device's internal memory.

This Service does not use these “cookies” explicitly. However, the app may use third party code and libraries that use “cookies” to collect information and improve their services. You have the option to either accept or refuse these cookies and know when a cookie is being sent to your device. If you choose to refuse our cookies, you may not be able to use some portions of this Service.

Service Providers

I may employ third-party companies and individuals due to the following reasons:

To facilitate our Service;

To provide the Service on our behalf;

To perform Service-related services; or

To assist us in analyzing how our Service is used.

I want to inform users of this Service that these third parties have access to your Personal Information. The reason is to perform the tasks assigned to them on our behalf. However, they are obligated not to disclose or use the information for any other purpose.

Security

I value your trust in providing us your Personal Information, thus we are striving to use commercially acceptable means of protecting it. But remember that no method of transmission over the internet, or method of electronic storage is 100% secure and reliable, and I cannot guarantee its absolute security.

Links to Other Sites

This Service may contain links to other sites. If you click on a third-party link, you will be directed to that site. Note that these external sites are not operated by me. Therefore, I strongly advise you to review the Privacy Policy of these websites. I have no control over and assume no responsibility for the content, privacy policies, or practices of any third-party sites or services.

Children’s Privacy

These Services do not address anyone under the age of 13. I do not knowingly collect personally identifiable information from children under 13. In the case I discover that a child under 13 has provided me with personal information, I immediately delete this from our servers. If you are a parent or guardian and you are aware that your child has provided us with personal information, please contact me so that I will be able to do necessary actions.

Changes to This Privacy Policy

I may update our Privacy Policy from time to time. Thus, you are advised to review this page periodically for any changes. I will notify you of any changes by posting the new Privacy Policy on this page. These changes are effective immediately after they are posted on this page.

Contact Us

If you have any questions or suggestions about my Privacy Policy, do not hesitate to contact me.

This privacy policy page was created at privacypolicytemplate.net and modified/generated by App Privacy Policy Generator

[mundanetony-blog]

Fight the tyranny! New indie 2.5D/2D cheesy platformer, full of mice and bad puns. Created by me - the underdressed manchild!

[mundanetony-blog]

Entry 3.4, 9.1.2017 22:44

THE FLOOD - part 4: The Annoying Negotiator

I was angry, tired, wet, losing hope and yet, against my better judgment, I still decided to turn around and walk right back to that police car!  Somehow, even though I didn’t quite know nor liked the people I was trying to “rescue”, I had this feeling of obligation to go in and let nothing stop me. (Well, almost nothing. Things that could have stopped include, but are not limited to: sharks, giant spiders, jellyfish, snakes that can swim, Thessaloniki-Prague boarding tickets and platypi.) To this day, I haven’t a clue whether it was the heat, money or personal values that drove me to second-guess a policeman’s advice to stay away from a flooded area but whatever it was, I am glad it came to me when it did!

Needless to say, the officers were quite surprised when the wet, tired, arrogant and overweight tourist they sent away a minute earlier came back with a heroic look of a little less desperation than before in his eyes. To make sure I understood, the policeman closer to me lowered his car window and loudly said: “GO AWAY, NO PASS! NO!” However, this time, that wasn’t good enough as I had a few things of my own to add to the conversation. The discussion may perhaps not have been as elegant and civil as I remember it today. Should I write an approximate transcript, it would look as follows:

Policeman 1: GO AWAY! NO PASS! NO!

Myself: Alright, calm down and listen. I have customers in there I need to reach! They might be in danger.

Policeman 1: What? Ahh… Malaka! What?

Myself: There are people in this town I need to get to.

Policeman 2: Speak slowly! What is? Town closed!

Myself: (breathing arrogantly) I FROM TRAVEL AGENCY! CLIENTS IN HOTEL! I WANT GO TO CLIENTS TO HELP!

Policeman 1: Ah, travel agency! Cannot go! Road under water!

Myself: (seeing dry roads) What you’re on about? I can see the road, it’s fine! Look, I need to go in! Will you help me?

Policeman 2: NO GO IN!

Myself: If you won’t let me drive in there, I will go by foot!

Policeman 1: Ahhh, MALAKA!!! (presumably a Greek expression for me, as I got called this quite often)

Policeman 2: Fuck! I don’t care! GO! DO WHAT YOU WANT!

I must say I was truly astonished. Not only did I just annoy two police officers into letting me pass into a flooded town, I also seemed to have pissed them off to such an extent where they decided to leave their post and get the fuck out of there. With wonder and awe, I watched a police car that was just seconds ago an insurmountable obstacle drive away, as if it was never in my way to begin with.

By this point, those with a good judge of character most likely deduced, that this situation, although aiding me massively in my quest, has enlarged my already overblown ego to gargantuan proportions. I was now the guy who bullied the police into minding their own goddamn business - and it felt great!

Upon entering the town whilst behind the wheel of my trusty “Green Gargantuan”, everything seemed perfect. I was content, optimistic even, thinking the worst is already behind me. Alas, it was not to be as my false sense of security has been brutally drowned in the waters of what now looked like a Greek take on Venice. What an excessively long and boring way to introduce a twist, huh? Keep reading, it will get worse!

To be continued…

[mundanetony-blog]

Entry 3.3, 1.1.2017 23:59

THE FLOOD - part 3: The Fuzz!

The friend, in the more lenient sense of the word, who has received my literal distress call was one of the partner Greek travel agency’s drivers - more specifically, one that has witnessed the Commander-In-Greek giving me the order and sending me off to my inevitable doom. In the tradition of heartfelt goodbyes - this driver gave me his handkerchief, adding: “Something to remember me by... For when you’re lonely.” Wishing me good luck and offering to have his phone ready in case I need him, he has sent me off to die. I think. The details are a bit hazy but generally, this is how it went down. Also, there were sharks.

When he picked up my call of uncertain despair, he has given me the best possible advice, lifting my spirit and filling me with determination, saying: “Shit! I don’t know, man! I mean, if there’s water, just makes sure it stays below the exhaust pipe. I believe in you. Bye!” 

With this pep talk being over, I was ready to pull up my sleeves, get in the car, put on some action music and drown myself. While somewhere far back inside of my brain, the little amount of reason I possess was screaming: “well obviously not this way, what are you - a moron? No wonder nobody loves you!” from the start, the rest of my consciousness only now began to agree and I started slowly walking back to the banged-up bridled business-casual beast that was the “Green Toyota”. My slow walk of defeat was, however, misinterpreted by a nearby mixer lorry driver, who has - probably from my everlasting masculine overly-confident posture (it’s a blessing and a curse, guys) - deduced that I am about to get in the car and drive into what has now developed into a fully-fledged river. To capture my attention he has decided to start vigorously screaming: “No, my friend! No! Kaput! Kaput!” Although I was a bit offended, pondering whether I really do resemble someone capable of accidental suicide, I was ultimately happy that I have made a new friend. Thanking the gentleman, I re-decided to try my luck elsewhere.

After reluctantly trying to reach my final destination through the third exit (every entrance is an exit if you think about it), my search for a way in brought me back to the first possible option. Although the central entry point was vehemently recommended to me by my driver friend earlier, the first entrance proved to be a great success - or so it seemed! Ooohh! Ominous!

Upon my long overdue arrival to the village, another obstacle came in my way. The fuzz! Other words available - the police, cops, popos, boys-in-blue, fakabát, the red-handed billies etc.

Long story short: the road leading up to the hotel, where my clients were awaiting my heroic rescue, was now obstructed by a single police vehicle. Being the law-abiding respected member of society that I wish I would be, I immediately approached the two gentlemen situated in the aforementioned car, hoping to receive permission to enter the town of Wethell as well as being offered help with the rescue. Not that I needed it... It’s just like.. whatever... 

My first interaction with the uniformed lifeguards was far from fruitful, as I was told to “go away, city flooded, no entry!” This has confirmed my deepest fears: the cops were out to get me… to go away! Ahhh, so that’s how black people in the USA feel…

Anyway, I digress. They ordered me to scram, so I did. I turned around and slowly started walking back towards the “Green Monster”, thinking “is this where I give up? After all that I went through just to get here?” The words of those professional countryside protectors got to me. They were policemen and they ordered me to leave, surely there was nothing else I could have done...

To be continued…

[mundanetony-blog]

Entry 3.2, 26.12.2017 19:35

THE FLOOD - part 2: The journey to Wethell

Soon after I was finished transferring clients - now in the superb “Green Toyota” -  to a dry, relatively safe environment with an objectively subpar gyros, which is really just a rotating hate crime, I have received an order from the top Greek himself - relative to me, that is. The order was clear, go to a flooded city and rescue your clients from certain demise. Even though the directive was given to me alone, I still heroically took it upon myself to accomplish the task at hand, getting to my old, banged-up green mule and heading off to adventure.

It should be noted the Commander-In-Greek later supposedly retracted his orders, claiming he has never instructed me to embark on the mission. So to stay impartial and factually accurate, I’ll leave a word below for anyone concurring to that claim, a word that you can jam to the previous paragraph, so it is compliant with that statement. I am far too busy to do so. Here it is:

“Allegedly”

It’s all yours, shove it wherever you deem appropriate.

With that out of the way, let us get back to the events that transpired on the 17th July 2017.

The road to Wethell, inexplicably named differently by the common folk, was - unexpectedly enough - a wet hell. Today, I am still amazed by the perfect mixture of heroism and stupidity, dwelling deep down inside of me, that has allowed me to undertake such craziness. As I was driving, the road changed from shallow streams to not-so-shallow rivers to a game of dodging falling rocks, making me feel like I was in elementary school again, playing FROG in java on my cool Sony Ericson 700i with flame stickers on. Just gonna leave that glorious picture in your head for a while. What?! It made it faster… You don’t know!

After mentally excruciating forty minutes of low-vision, rock-dodging, car-avoiding, and shallow-diving, I have finally arrived at my destination - or at least so I thought. The issue I was now facing was one reminiscent of old-school RPGs, where the player has three paths forth to choose from, however, instead of one path leading to a forest, another one to a village and the last one to a field, they all lead to a village and they were all flooded. So it’s wasn’t really like an RPG at all... nevermind then. Scratch that.

First, as any logical person would do, I tried the middle one. The central entrance to the town of Wethell curls to the right, splitting from the main road and creating an underpass below it. Upon my arrival, I spotted the underpass has decided to change its nature - it clearly now identified as a river. Good for it, not good for me. Desperate, I decided to draw on the knowledge I gained throughout my life - trying to remember what have I learnt at high school, university, from books, game shows… upon careful consideration, I elected to draw on the valuable life lessons obtained through watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire - I called a friend!

To be continued…

PS: The delay was to be expected.

Stay festive.

T-Bone.

[mundanetony-blog]

Entry 3.1, 14.12.2017 21:04

Happened on the 17th of July 2017.

So began week four of my Greek summer experience. After being reassured by every single member of my family, along with nearly all of my friends, that all the bad must surely be behind me now, I was looking forward to a first calm week with little to no excitement. Alas, that was not to be yet again. Wow, I just used ALAS in a sentence... Did I use it correctly though? Alas, we may never know!

THE FLOOD - part 1: Shizzle, there’s a Drizzle!

It started on a Sunday evening with a pleasant drizzle. Nothing but a few drops of water gently splashing on the dry, hot roads of Sarti. After all the days of searing hot weather, it was a change welcomed by all, even the haters and losers. However, it did not take long for the light drizzle to change into a full-on H20 assault. Still, after being constantly sweaty, thirsty and sunburnt for the last few weeks, I kept enjoying the change of meteorological tides and pranced in the rain fabulously, as if I were getting ready for a casting call on Broadway. I went to bed that night, drifting away to slumber, accompanied by the calming symphony of the hydrophonic orchestra.

*takes a sip of an 1896 Chateau La Tour, drinking it out of a Ming-dynasty vase*

The storm, however pleasant it seemed before, was not as appealing the morning after - a sentence I am sure every reader of this journal is painfully familiar with in some variation - as the roads of my little Greek summer home have changed into shallow streams, making my shoes soaking wet on the first, overly confident step.

As it was later explained to me, the abundance of this material commonly found in the human body - also referred to as "water" by the normies - in the streets was caused by the canalisation system, or rather a lack thereof.

It would appear that in Greece, canalisation, much like olive oil shortages, is basically non-existent - thus the occasional flood. However, this information came to my attention much later in the day and I am glad it did, as it would make me consider my actions significantly less heroic.

After making my way to the carpark, I have successfully located the car that I managed to secure a key to the night before - also known as "The White Citroen" (other brands of white cars are available).

While entering the vehicle, I have noticed that the car window next to the driver’s seat is down and cannot be raised to its original position. This issue was often reminded to me by the rain, pouring into the vehicle, giving the left side of my face a watery slap with every gust of wind. Although I consider myself to be somewhat patient, it would appear my limit to self-restriction, when it comes to water-induced rage, is around five face-fulls of rain (or ten half-face-fulls. MATH!). While I did try to hold my newly acquired umbrella in the window while driving, which did seem to help “The Water Problem”, it also somewhat seemed to restrict my manoeuvring abilities while driving through the small, narrow streets of the little Greek town.

It quickly became clear that if the car and I do not part ways hastily, one of us will lose sanity... and that would most likely be me (even though I like to think the car would follow shortly after). So in order not to test both of our mental fortitudes any further, I made my way into the office, where I started looking for a key to a different vehicle - preferably one with waterproof-like qualities. That is where I got the keys to "The Green Toyota". That is where it all began. That is where it all went wrong. That.

To be continued...

[mundanetony-blog]

Entry 2, 14.12.2017 20:51

Hey everybody! Long time no see! How are you? Anything new in your life? Finally asked Alex out on a date? No? Ok, great! Now that we discussed your life, let’s dedicate an unproportionate amount of time to mine.

An avid reader of this journal:

should seek medical attention;

may have noticed there has been a substantial delay between the first/last entry and this one. If so, then please let me assure you that that is for a reason. You see, I am a lazy piece of ass with little to no self-respect and a huge ego. This means there is little continuity in everything I do but hey - that’s what makes it fun, right? Right?

Anyway, I have been working for quite a while on this next entry and believe me, it’s whatever a “woozy” is! However, there’s a catch! It’s very long. Three Drumpf walls and a load of cottage cheese long! That is why, instead of dropping the whole thing right away, which would be too much for anyone to read and would probably result in mass suicides, I decided to instead add smaller parts of the entire entry once a week. This way the journal will remain barely legible while giving me the opportunity to actually finish the entry… which I will!

The entry I will be posting in parts within the following months consists of chapters, each describing one of the many crazy situations I have encountered over my summer in Greece, where I was irresponsibly given the position of a tourist guide. It was, without a doubt, the craziest period of my life to date, allowing me to experience: a flood, playing psychologist with a depressed father of two, drowning, being interviewed on tv, finding disabled children (definitely my least favourite Nemo sequel), lots of arguing and subjectively mild car wrecking to name just a few…

I sincerely hope that within the following poorly written lines, you will find not only joy but also a false sense of comfort in knowing that despite the scale and randomness of the universe, shit can be handled - even if it covers you. Oh, also it’s all true. No joke - I have photos and people that can back the whole thing up.

Stay determined.

Tony

[mundanetony-blog]

Anthony’s Journal

Entry 1, 28.3.2017 20:06

This is the first-ever entry to a journal I have ever made and I was not very keen on writing it too, however, based on the advice of my good old friend Marie Lex, I have decided to give this form of mundane artistry a chance.

Given the nature of both my origin and my present studies, the language of this journal may vary entry by entry. That applies not only to the tongue of the text but also to the manner in which these paragraphs are going to be written. Right now, you have probably realised the text above is overly formal and perhaps impersonal. Whoever decides to keep reading and waste more of the little time he or she has left in this world shall discover that the journal in itself has very little consistency, jumping from formal to relaxed, from Monday to Saturday and from mundane boredom to borderline insanity on a regular basis. Regardless of the events described in each paragraph, the content of this journal should be taken with a grain of salt – unless I am found dead, then take it utmost seriously.

With my little outburst of paranoia in mind, the reader should be aware that this is a journal of a mildly depressed, twenty-one-year-old optimist, living in denial of his scepticism. While the content of these pages is rooted in reality, it should be noted that anyone gazing upon these pages, whatever the reason, should maintain critical thinking and a healthy distrust towards anything written below this paragraph.

Unless I am found dead or missing under suspicious circumstances, then heed every word. Not that I am expecting to die or vanish anytime soon, but then again – few people ever do. Better to be safe. You never know.

Should there be people who haven’t been put off by the text above, perhaps the following will sufficiently demonstrate the content this rather fruitless document offers to its readers.

Lately, I have begun to feel dumber by the day. It started by stammering, then continued by not making sense altogether. For some reason, I was suddenly unable to formulate the simplest ideas or to respond to a question quickly. I have always prided myself on being able to speak English rather well, however, for whatever reason, my speaking skills started to decay. I am currently doing my best to focus on the improvement of my speech but it is very well possible I will soon be as articulate as a New York billionaire, with the exception of not knowing the best words. Sad.

Another example of my mental devolution happened just a few days ago. My favourite house acquaintance – in other words: a housemate I don’t have the urge to “comically murder”™ (few potential suspects right there!) – Jay and I have ordered pizza. The delivery took a bit longer than usual, which made the excitedly expected knock on the door even more delightful than usual. Being the perfect cohabitant I am, I took on the responsibility to greet the man and transfer the pizza inside the house, concluding its short journey before sealing its regrettable fate. However, instead of simply opening the door as any sane person would, my brain has elected to provide anyone on the other side of the door with three short knocks. It pains me to admit I have waited five long seconds before realising the absurdity of the action and promptly opening the door, while vehemently apologising to the man delivering the pie. While the gentleman, sent by a well-known pizza company (rhymes with ‘on the nose’), was trying to squeeze out a smile, reassuring me that no harm was done and that he’s “having a tricky day too,” his face retained the expression of a person trying to figure out whether he’s looking at an adolescent prankster or a genuine idiot. While the encounter was quite embarrassing, it has demonstrated the relativity of time perception rather well – as I have never before experienced longer five seconds than that particular evening.

To conclude today’s lengthy addition to this conundrum of meaning I call my journal, it seems beyond reasonable doubt that I have recently begun losing my mind. Whether that loss is significant for the mankind is a debate best left to others – but if my opinion carries any meaning in that discussion then I say yes, a verily dire misfortune for the human kind indeed. I will, in the days to come, do my best to preserve my mind and restore it to its former mediocreness – as far as I know at the moment, that is a word. Nevertheless, I would like to ask everyone still reading these words – have you really got nothing better to do? But more importantly – manage your expectations. A few days ago, it seemed my mind was making a slow recovery, however, yesterday I couldn’t fall asleep and today I still have the ominous feeling I am not alone in this house – although I am completely alone in this house. My best guess right now? Ghosts! Perhaps even some sort of Vampire-Ghosts? Could be.

While this journal may seem silly at times, let me assure you there was no humour at the end of the last paragraph and I say that well aware of how crazy it renders me to be. Should I keep up the pace in spiralling towards madness, the second entry could be even more preposterous than the first.

Whoever reached this sentence deserves to have someone to be worried about him, however, given my personal hysteria, I am currently unable to do so as I am worried about myself. I wish you luck in whatever you do - unless you’re hiding in my house, making noises.

Stay sane,

Anthony