my-default-mode-is-sad

[my-default-mode-is-sad]

sometimes i misattribute love for attention

i don’t really love them, they just give me the attention i desire

i don’t really miss them, i just miss the time when we were together and i was their world

i think because i lacked attention in my childhood i seek it out in my romantic relationships

i need to stop looking for someone to love

i really just need good friends

[my-default-mode-is-sad]

i just want to be loved in the way i need, maybe then i wouldn’t feel so lonely

[my-default-mode-is-sad]

i feel less bitter towards my past self; i think i’m making progress

[my-default-mode-is-sad]

I wish I had a love story they could write books about

[my-default-mode-is-sad]

I hope we’re still friends but I also hope nothing changes

Change is inevitable though and hope is a lie we tell ourselves to feel better

[my-default-mode-is-sad]

Well I finally told you…

I’m scared to see where this goes

[my-default-mode-is-sad]

yet i still hope you remember

[my-default-mode-is-sad]

I am selfish

I want to be loved

I want to be the first one you think about

I want your eyes to wonder towards me

I want your full attention

I want to feel welcome

I want to feel like I belong with you

I want you to feel like I belong with you

I want to be held by you

I think I’m asking for too much

I really am selfish

[my-default-mode-is-sad]

I used to wonder what love felt like.

It’s painful and burdensome.

I know I’m cynical though because the in I love now once’s loved me and has since moved on.

Time does wonderfully terrible things to a fickle heart.