n7gvlvr

[n7gvlvr]

I’m interested to see how many of us there are on Tumblr.

[n7gvlvr]

Hard at work on the next chapter of Interspecies Awkardness

[n7gvlvr]

Someone please explain this to me....

You need to understand something about me....I am old. I do not understand these new technologies. I still write using Microsoft Word even though I’ve purchased a writing program. 

I am old.

I have heard of this Mass Effect Discord thing. I would like to be involved. However, I do not understand how to get “invited” or how to find this. Is this like fight club? Have I broken the first rule simply by asking for assistance? 

Someone help....please. 

[n7gvlvr]

Holy Crap! That moment when you open tumblr and see a link to your own story.....*flails*

Interspecies Awkwardness - The Extra Chapters

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Ip924z

by N7GVLVR

So, in the writing of Interspecies Awkwardness, there were chapters and plot bunnies that came up that didn’t fit directly into the story, but they happened in Jane and Garrus’ life. These are those chapters.

Words: 12759, Chapters: 4/4, Language: English

Fandoms: Mass Effect Trilogy

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Garrus Vakarian, Female Shepard (Mass Effect), James Vega, Liara T'Soni, Zaeed Massani

Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2Ip924z

[n7gvlvr]

Moving on up...

We're moving on up. As in, I will have my own place soon. I have big goals for this newfound freedom, including being able to write again and getting back into a writing routine.

[n7gvlvr]

Shakarian oneshot - Part 3

Cargo bay locker room, Normandy SR-2

“Okay, so Shepard can drink,” James scoffed. “We all know that.  What does that have to do with the newest piece of ‘equipment’ installed in the cargo hold?”

“I’m setting the scene, Vega,” Garrus explained.

~*~

…8 Months earlier

“If you swung your hips a bit more,” Shepard explained to the asari on their table. “And made more eye contact with your mark, you’d make more tips.  Does Aria have a lap dance room?”

“Why? Are you thinking of dragging Garrus off to it to have your crazy way with him?” Zaeed asked.

“No, no,” Shepard shook her head, waving Zaeed off. “Well, maybe, but no that’s not why I asked.” She was sobering up, having switched from ryncol to water three drinks back. “How do they count your dances? Is there a bouncer? I would assume Aria has a man in the room with you ladies to keep everything on the up and up, but there are ways to get around that.”

“How do you know anything about how stripping works?” Jack slurred from her side of the table.  She looked down at the drink in her hand--she was drinking the ryncol, now. “Shit, this stuff is strong!  I think I’m actually drunk.”  The crazy biotic let out a small giggle before collapsing back against the booth and staring out at the dance floor and strobe lights.

Garrus looked around the table, his vision blurring slightly from the affects (effects?) of whatever he’d been drinking.  He must be hallucinating, Arianna Shepard, his Ari, was giving advice to a stripper.  Maybe he should check her drink for something other than water, had the bartender slipped her something?  That wouldn’t be a first in Afterlife.

“You think you know me,” Shepard chuckled at she spoke to Jack. “But you know nothing about me.  You only see what I want you to see.  All of you,” She looked around the table before finally stopping on him. “Every single one of you.”

“What the hell does that mean?” Kelly slurred from her spot next to Zaeed.  The older mercenary was trying to push the drunken yeoman off of his shoulder but everytime he got her upright she’d slump back over onto him.

“It means,” Shepard smirked. “I could make twice as much as any girl in here makes in a night.  And I could do it in a five song set.”

A loud snort from the side of the table pulled their attention away from Shepard.  Aria stood next to their booth, hip cocked to one side as she laughed.

“Five song set?” Aria asked, still chuckling. “I don’t believe it.  My girls are the best.”

“Your girls are old news.  They do the same thing every night.  There’s nothing new here.”  Shepard turned her gaze from Aria to the asari on their table. “How much do you make in tips each night?”

“That’s none of your business, Shepard,” Aria snapped.

“I think it is,” Shepard retorted.

~*~

Cargo Bay locker room, Normandy SR-2

“Oh-ho-ho,” James crowed. “Shepard and Aria, that’s a fight I’d love to see!”

“There wasn’t a fight,” Garrus shook his head as the over eager marine deflated.

“Oh,” James sighed. “Well then what happened next?”

Garrus’ mind wandered back to that night.  He’d learned something about Ari’s past that haunted him to this day.  She told him that she’d buried her past.  It was what it was and she couldn’t go back and erase it--no matter how much she wanted to--but she refused to let it taint what she had now or control her future.

“Two, maybe three hundred credits a night,” The asari spoke up, breaking the glaring match between Shepard and Aria.

“God damn,” Shepard gasped, snapping her head around to stare at the young asari who’d stopped dancing. She pulled her omni-tool up again and pressed a few buttons.  There was a quiet ping and then the girl gasped then glared at Shepard.

“I won’t take this.  You’ve said my performance is subpar.  This is pity money.  I don’t need your pity.”

“It’s not pity,” Shepard shook her head.  She was suddenly very sober. “I don’t pity you.  What you do here, every night, is demeaning.  People stare at you, gawking at your naked flesh, taking from you the one thing you thought could never be stolen, and in return giving you barely enough to survive.”

The asari gawked at Shepard as she listened.

“But you show up every night. You put a smile on your face and you continue because this is what you do.  It’s not what you’ll do forever, but it’s all you have right now,” Shepard wasn’t talking about the asari on their table any longer.  Her eyes were staring past the asari, past Afterlife.  In that moment, Garrus learned something about the woman he loved.  Not Shepard, but Arianna.

“I was given a chance to get out of a bad situation once, no questions asked.  I’m paying that forward, now,” Shepard’s gaze came back to the asari in front of her as she spoke.

“Shepard,” Aria snapped. “Upstairs. Now!”

“Gladly,” Shepard spoke under her breath as she followed the Queen of Omega. “I’ve got a few words for you as well.”

“Yo,” Vega called out, bringing Garrus back to the present as he whistled. “You still with me, Scars?”

[n7gvlvr]

dragon age & mass effect fans

can u reblog if u post dragon age and mass effect (other stuff on your blog is fine) im on a huge bioware binge and need more content shoved into my brain at fibre optic speeds

[n7gvlvr]

Stray plot bunny!

So, son is playing mass effect... Just picked up Garrus in doctor Michel's clinic.

What if Garrus and the doc had a fling and there was more to his questions about Michel being hurt after the fire fight?

[n7gvlvr]

“A house I pass on the way to work has this sculpture in its yard. Its about 8 feet tall.”

(Source)

[n7gvlvr]

Go home mother nature, you're drunk.

We are under a blizzard warning. In April.

[n7gvlvr]

Part 2....I'll keep going if you guys want...

Garrus was stripped down to his under suit, leaning against the bay of lockers, contemplating how to start his tale. He was still floored that there was a stripper pole in the cargo bay. And part of him was wondering if he’d be able to talk Shepard into a show before she had it removed. Maybe a private show.

“So, why did Joker put a stripper pole in the cargo hold?”

“We were on Omega…” Garrus began.

~*~

…8 months earlier

“Ugh,” Shepard hissed as she threw back another shot. “You know what the worst part about Afterlife is?”

“Varren piss would taste better than whatever this is?” Garrus asked, holding up his glass, trying not to look too closely at the liquid inside it.

“Other than that,” Shepard went on, slurring slightly.

“They don’t offer any sort of snack. Not even one grungy dextro-peanut to be found in here,” Kelly prompted.

“No. No. I mean the worst thing about this place,” Shepard was shaking her head a little more aggressively than necessary as she made a slashing gesture with her hands.

“Aria?” Zaeed piped up.

“The dancers,” Shepard finally answered, gesturing toward the stripper gyrating on their table. “I mean, what is this? No offense, I know you’re doing your job,” She spoke to the dancer. “But do you know anything other than this?” She waved her hands around directly in front of the dancer, never touching the girl.

“You can leave,” The dancer stopped gyrating. She cocked one hip to the side as she knelt on the table.

“No, no,” Shepard tried to explain. “I’m not trying to say you’re not great. Believe me, you’ve got all the right curves, it’s just…well…I’m not drunk enough to ignore that you’ve been doing the same thing for the last three hours. Don’t you ever want to just mix it up?”

“Even if I wanted to,” The dancer began but cut off when she looked over Shepard’s head toward where Aria sat.

Shepard turned in her seat and found Aria glaring at their dancer.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to get you in trouble,” Shepard apologized before pulling up her omni-tool and pressing and tipping the dancer generously. “If you can, don’t let her take all of that. Keep some for you.”

“Shit, Shepard,” Jack spoke up from her corner of the booth. “Stop giving the bitch a hard time. It’s not like you could do better.”

Shepard didn’t say anything to Jack’s comment, instead opting to throw back another shot. The liquor was some garishly neon color, so bright it almost glowed.

“Are you sure that shit’s not radioactive?” Zaeed spoke up.

Shepard giggled before she answered. “I think it most definitely is. It’s ryncol.”

“What?” Kelly squealed.

“Ryncol; krogan booze!” Shepard held her glass up in a mock toast.

[n7gvlvr]

We have a chapter! It’s not abandoned, whoohoo!

(A big part of this chapter is Vigil being a chatter bug. I swear I already cut half of what he said but he still keeps on monologing in this chapter like a failed Shakespearean actor.)

This fic is now at 297,877 words and I want to thank everyone who is still with me and reading this way-too-long-fic. The fic that started it all.

“What are those things?” Shepard wondered aloud about circular containers protruding from the walls.

“Cryopods, maybe,” Liara said. “They must have thought they could stay in stasis until the Reapers came back. This bunker was possibly the last refuge of their whole species.”

“You mean there could still be frozen protheans in there?”

“I’m not getting any energy readings in here, from anywhere,” Garrus said. “This building is dead, I don’t think the cryopods still work.”

“There must be thousands of these pods,” Langenfeld said.

Liara sighed. “They were still hopeful. Even in their defeat, they hoped to survive to fight the Reapers again.”

Shepard scrunched up her nose. “Sounds either arrogant or delusional.”

“Yeah,” Wrex grunted. “They lost the war once and thought they could win it on second try?”

[n7gvlvr]

My life the past 5 weeks completely, perfectly summed up.

tbh the worst thing about being a self aware mentally ill person is that people assume that because you understand your illness you’re automatically able to actually apply your knowledge to your life and cure yourself

[n7gvlvr]

Mass Effect Commissions

Hey guys! I’m currently replaying Mass Effect 3 (finally!), so I’ll be more than happy to do some Mass Effect commissions, if there’s interest. Of course, I’m still taking commissions for other fandoms, but it’s a rare chance to catch me in extremely inspired mood. Go for it! :D

I CAN OFFER:

• Simple sketches (black and white/sepia): one character — 3$, two characters — 6$. Examples: x x x

• Refined sketches (black and white/sepia with few color accents): one character — 5$, two characters — 10$. Examples: x x x

• Colored sketches: one character — 8$, two characters — 16$. Examples: x x x

• Flat colors: portraits — 20$, bust — 25$, waist up — 30$. Price for a pictures with several characters starts from 50$. Examples: x x x x x x x x

• Full color: portraits — 35$, bust — 40$, waist up — 45$. Price for a pictures with several characters starts from 70$. Examples: x x x x

If you order two pictures at once, I’ll draw you a sketch for free!

I WILL CHARGE EXTRA FOR:

• Complex and detailed armors/weapons/warpaints/jewelry; simple backgrounds (5$).

PAYMENT:

• Paypal (I use invoices). Для жителей России возможен почтовый или банковский перевод. • If you are interested, contact me here, on my main blog, Deviantart or via e-mail (shepofships@gmail.com)

Signal boost please!

[n7gvlvr]

To pick this back up, or not....

“Shepard, is that what I think it is?” Garrus asked as he, Shepard and James walked into the cargo bay.

“Holy shit,” Vega swore. “Lola, why’s there a pole on the ship?”

“JOKER!” Shepard tilted her head to the ceiling above her as she hollered.

“I didn’t do it,” Joker answered instantly.

“Didn’t do what?” Shepard accused.  She was standing in the middle of the cargo bay, still wearing her armor from their last mission, staring at the stripper pole someone had installed.

“Whatever you’re pissed about,” Joker deflected. “I had nothing to do with it.  It was probably Donnelly, you know how much of a perv he is.”

“How do you know I’m pissed about something that could be considered perverted?” Shepard asked sweetly.

“Because you assumed it was my fault…I mean…Um,” Joker stammered. “SSSHHHT, ppfft, Theres…sta…line…los...ng….you…pard.”

“Cut it out, Joker, I’m in the cargo bay, you twit.  There’s no interference,” Shepard huffed.  “Whatever, just get it off the ship.”

“Why? We should keep it,” Joker protested. “It’s a great work out tool.  James has his heavy bag and weights, why can’t we have a pole, too?”

“I didn’t know you’d taken up the art of pole dancing,” Shepard shot back. “I’d love to see what you’ve got.”

“Um, no, I wasn’t talking about me using it,” Joker stuttered again. “I mean.  You know, after the Omega 4 relay you boosted everyone’s morale with that display, I just thought it’d be a great way to liven the mood on this suicide run.”

“No, Joker,” Shepard snapped. “Just, no.”

“What is he talking about, Lola?” James asked from behind her.  She could hear Garrus snickering as he realized what Joker was talking about.

“Shut up, Vakarian,” Shepard snarled at the turian.

“Scars, what did Lola do after the Omega-4 mission to ‘boost morale’?” James turned from Shepard to Garrus.

“Oh, no,” Garrus shook his head, still chuckling. “I survived one missile to the face; I don’t want to find out if I can survive two.”

“Someone, please, tell me what’s going on here,” James asked the room at large.  “Because it sounds like you’re saying Lola knows how to use that.” He pointed at the pole before going on. “But I’ve seen her dance—no offense, Lola—and she’s got all the grace of a drunken Elcor.”

“Good bye,” Shepard huffed as she stepped onto the elevator and pressed the button for her quarters.

James waited a few seconds after the doors had closed before turning to Garrus.

“Okay, she’s gone, now spill,” He said, cornering the turian.

“Why should I?” Garrus asked as he walked toward the locker room just off the cargo bay.  He was going to get out of his armor and grab a quick shower.

“C’mon, man,” James pled.

“Um, you’re going to have to do better than that. If Shepard finds out I shared this knowledge she’ll space me,” Garrus explained as he popped the seals on his chest plate and shoulder guards and took them off. “Make it worth my while.”

“What do you want?” James asked.

Garrus held his shoulder guard in his hands, turning it over as he inspected the scratches and gashes that marred its surface.  After a moment of consideration he held it out toward James.

“My armor, cleaned, repaired, and polished.  Same with my guns,” Garrus offered.

“Done,” James didn’t even hesitate.

“All of my armor. Not just this set,” Garrus stipulated.

“Fine, fine, every damn set Shepard’s bought you, just talk,” James agreed instantly.

“Sit,” Garrus gestured toward the bench in the locker room and James’ ass was instantly planted on the steel.

[n7gvlvr]

Okay but imagine it turns out that Shepard is a very good singer. One night when she and Garrus and out with the crew, they jokingly challenge her to the karaoke machine. Everyone thinks it’s going to be a train wreck (Kasumi is there ready to record it). But when the music starts and Shepard starts to sing, the crew is stunned silent at how good her voice sounds.

The song she chooses is a cheesy love song that she makes sounds so lovely with her voice. Everyone at the table knows she’s singing to Garrus and thinks it’s the sweetest thing they’ve seen their Commander do.

If turians could blush, Garrus would look smitten red.

[n7gvlvr]

me: i can't wait for people to read this story!!

brain: you have to finish writing it if you want people to read it

me:

me: now that doesn't sound right