nbserpent

[nbserpent]

Wretched,

thats how you make me feel.

I dream of you,

crawling up my walls like ivy,

invasive species, invaded mind.

I hate you,

deep inside me,

I’m surprised.

Enamoured.

Each day i am more angered,

and each day you’re more adored.

this isn’t what I wish for myself,

you leave me wanting more.

And yet i am wretched.

And yet I am yours.

[nbserpent]

I find myself washing to music,

as the pitter-patter of water hitting the tiled floor beneath my feet,

was never loud enough to mask the thoughts crawling through my mind.

Thoughts of what once was, what could be…

Thoughts of he said, she said, I said ‘Why?’.

It’s been years since I’ve allowed my mind to run free, standing there naked.

I not once planned on leaving the room silent, whilst I lean against condensation,

in a cold, steamy corner of my bathroom.

Yet today, my music cut off.

Suddenly my drawbridge was down, guards disarmed.

My shower curtain was no longer my moat, the water falling no longer my castle.

Then in on horseback, knight shining in armour…

Jousting at my cerebrum, was him.

No more past debates, no more ‘if I were fitter’, no ifs, buts and maybes.

Just hope for brighter days alongside him.

I may turn off the music from time to time.

[nbserpent]

Astral.

Your eyes align with the stars,

There’s constellations in the way you look at me.

You hold galaxies in your smile,

And your asteroids bring me peace, serenity.

You’re my Venus, and between us,

There she may lay.

I love you tomorrow,

I love you today.

Celestial in metaphor, but somehow,

you sit firmly on land, we’re hand in hand.

We’re eye to eye.

I am the Earth, and you are the Sun.

You are my sky.

My planets cling to you,

You are my black hole,

my vacuum, the magnet.

I’m forever your orbit,

Made to be around you,

I’m near, and I’m stagnant.

[nbserpent]

hey squadgang back from my mental health hiatus 👹

[nbserpent]

hello mother,

is the bottle calling again?

tell them i said hello,

we are becoming friends too.

you brought up on hatred

and irresponsibility,

i had to be loving,

i had to be responsible.

i was a mother to you

as much as i was your child,

no child should ever

tuck their mother into bed nightly.

i swore to never be you,

absolutely nothing alike,

but how can i avoid your antics

when thats how i was raised.

you got violent, you got angry

you got sad, and sappy,

the only thing you didn’t get,

was the title of ‘Mom’.

[nbserpent]

Hi~ I was reading through your blog, and some of your poems made me think of A7x's 'Save Me' lyrics, which I love. Ahm, I just wanted to mention it.¿ Hope you have a nice day. ♡

ill give it a listen <3 thank you!

[nbserpent]

how dare you open me up like a book and

still be offended by my words.

nobody brought you to this library,

they just told you the library had been built.

how dare you confront me on my feelings,

when my feelings are just drunken words,

on your screen,

staring at your eyes,

whereas you have stared on my soul,

without permission,

without want you have read me like a book.

[nbserpent]

is that how its going to be?

undress me with your eyes,

love me with your smile,

undress me with your hands,

then leave me behind?

you’re a carrot on a stick.

you’re a bad dream.

you’re the sigh I let out in a morning.

is that how it was meant to be?

let me change my life,

let me break my vows,

allow me to fall,

then leave me on the ground?

you’re a kick in the groin.

you’re a slap round the face.

you’re the hate I have for mourning.

[nbserpent]

so was it something i said?

did i breathe too hard on the back of your neck?

is it something i did?

did i not leave enough room?

why won’t you let me close enough,

to wipe the sweat off your brow?

i wish i could be the wind in your hair,

but instead i seem to be the shiver in your spine.

did you simply just forget about me?

did you simply drift off to sleep?

have i simply overreacted?

last month i could spread my wings,

today i cant breathe without you.

[nbserpent]

i think you’re beautiful,

you think you’re subpar.

i think you’re wonderful,

you think that you’re scarred.

i think your eyes are holy,

you think that they sin,

i think youre welcoming,

you still wont let me in.

i think you’re the kindest,

you think you’re toxic,

i think i’m in love,

you call me lovesick.

i think you’re all i need,

you think i need more,

i think that you’re mine,

can you think i’m yours?

[nbserpent]

What god do I have left to call on?

Tell me.

What hope do I have left to cling on to?

Love is just another word for anger, disguised as a positive infection.

Yet I feel riddled with a disease of rage and frustration.

There is a frog in my throat, he is croaking regret.

Why do I put myself in these positions?

My nose is painted red, and squeaks when you squeeze it.

Hideous.

Nothing will help.

Nothing.

Love is not for winners, yet it’s not for losers like me.

I can’t stop screaming your name into the abyss.

I can’t stop craving you.

I wish.

I wish I could.

[nbserpent]

i slept with him yesterday and it was so romantic but i dont think it was meant to be i think im just hooked

hi tumblr LMFAOOO u do not need to know

nobody else will listen

it was like grass on a misty morning, it was like sun on the back of your neck, it was like roses, it was like a wish, or a dream, it was like nothing else was happening in this world

there was no war, no conflict, no sorrow, no doubt, there was only love, and peace, and joy

he was like a weighted blanket, he was like a hug or a helping hand, he was like resolutions and new beginnings, and he certainly was like pleasure.

to be honest guys sex has always just been sex, no miracle, but it was the best moment in my life

(or the best moments oh yeah baby boom shaka laka)

i then went to sleep in his arms, head on his chest, heart beat in ear, to him it was probably just bedtime, to me it was safety, it was warmth, it was love

[nbserpent]

OHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I TEXT HIM

shit

im such an embarrassment

“i keep fucking sitting here thinking about you and its so fucking annoying im writing poetry about you im talking about you im wondering what youre up to if youre okay if youre safe if youre happy and its so fucking annoying SO annoying”

I WROTE A POEM ABOUT NOT COMING ON TOO STRONG LIKE TWO DAYS AGO WHY HAVE I JUST

oh yeah arlo heres a great idea, why dont you confess your feelings for no reason and CALL HIM ANNOYING? yeah thats gonna go down great

digging a hole and burying myself in it guys

[nbserpent]

mentally tired of this bullshit

[nbserpent]

sorry guys im very head over heels for some bartender feeling like an old wench in the local brewery 1800s style

[nbserpent]

fuck you

get out of my head

if im not thinking about you inside my body, then im thinking of me inside your arms

and im tired

GET OUT

of my mind

or at least, get into my life

[nbserpent]

i want you to want me

i want you think about me as much as i think about you

i want you to close your eyes and see me, as every night i dream of us

i don’t love you, not yet, but i can feel it brewing

and i don’t want to fall for you without knowing you’re falling too

i forget everything when im in your arms

i feel comforted by your touch, by your skin, by your smile

youre already starting to feel like home, and ive packed my bags, im waiting to move in

i may not be perfect, but i want you to settle for me

i may not be beautiful, but i want you to see beauty in me

everything you do puts a smile on my face

my face aches as ive not used these muscles in a while

i would pay with my life, just to know you think that way too

but i don’t expect you to.

i suppose this is a love letter from me to you

id send a carrier pigeon if i could,

but instead i’ll hold this in my memories and hope you never see it

but i truly am in adore of you