neowqing

[neowqing]

I read a work, that said that floral smells are more expensive. Jiang Cheng's smell is floral: lotus, lilac, lavender. Mu Qing's is fruit and berries: cherry, pomegranate, blackberry. Which corresponds to their origins, the rich man in purple who put his clan back together from scraps, and the boy from the slums who made himself.

[neowqing]

For the most part, I find it strange to read that Sirius and Lily are close friends. Sirius, who wants attention, is jealous in my eyes, so having three friends, he would hardly be thrilled with a girl who occupies the thoughts of one of them, and James, who is proclaimed to be his brother. In addition, Lily is the love of Snape, the boy Sirius is most obsessed with, in an animal sense. He's obviously not the one to object at the wedding or do nasty things to them, but I don't think they're close friends either, well, maybe only when Sirius and Severus get together and Sirius can see his husband everyday, and make him happy, he calms down. Why would she choose him as godfather? When choosing among the three, she decided to trust her husband's opinion.

[neowqing]

Wymack was Kevin's father, and a father figure to Neil and Andrew. Aaron watched the coach watch the three, gently pushing them to their limits and then pushing them beyond because he knew they were capable. The way David cares for Andrew makes Aaron's heart clench, his brother has the ghost of a smile when Wymack is arguing, but without the bite or accusations, it's a beautiful picture hardened in his memory before he leaves Palmetto.

Aaron spends years at university, good studies, lack of sleep, energy, five times facing stomach pain, he doesn't tell anyone about it, everything that will lead him to the end of the road, his diploma, internship, and graduation, he is tired of everything but happy, with a bouquet of flowers from Katelyn, and she has a similar one in her hands, they take pictures together as she walks on to greet her friends, kisses Aaron on the cheek, and Aaron sits down in a chair, putting the bouquet down on the next one, tired, with a slight headache.

"Aaron" comes from his left, and Aaron turns round.

Wymack, with the potted violets, had come up without Aaron noticing.

"Coach..." Aaron stands up, confused, as the man embraces him, hugging him, rubbing his back and shoulder.

"I'm not your coach anymore. You did well, good job." Aaron freezes at the words before hugging David back. "You worked hard, didn't you?"

Aaron nods, clears his throat, and sniffs. Wymack hands over the flowers, ruffling Minyard's hair.

"Was it hard?"

"A little easier than exy" Aaron replies, looking at the violets. Wymack snorts.

"You did well, son."

"Son", Aaron tries not to think about it, it's just a friendly nickname, like when Waimak used to call him "kid", but his cheeks seem to be burning.

Aaron gives him a tour of the corridors and halls, he briefly describes the teachers and subjects, and maybe the coach is just pretending, but he is very convincing, as if he is interested and wants to know how Aaron has been all this time. Minyard also asks about Palmetto, and laughs when Wymack swears at the players.

They walk back into the hall, still full of graduates and their families and friends, when Aaron sees Andrew. He knows Andrew had a game today and honestly wasn't expecting to see him, especially not at his graduation, Andrew crosses the path in a matter of seconds, they stand awkwardly, Andrew with an unseen nervousness reflected by the twitching of his hands and Aaron with a question in his eyes and the pot in his hand and the diploma between them, as Andrew makes one last move, hugging Aaron.

It's unexpected. The 16-year-old Aaron had little knowledge of consent, so when he sees his twin, whom he has known for 3 years, he rushes forward, hugging Andrew. Then Andrew froze for exactly a second and relaxed, it was instinctive, he wanted to throw Aaron away, as he later did with Nicky, who tried to touch him, but for some reason Andrew couldn't do it. They hugged once, because then Aaron realised that Andrew didn't like it.

But now Andrew does it first, not just hugging him back, but initiating the hug, something he had never done in his sober and uninjured state.

"You?" Aaron is confused, he raises his free hand but does not touch Andrew.

"I was in therapy," Andrew grumbles softly against his ear.

"You wanted to hug Josten?" Aaron knows Neil is around, so he looks for him to confirm.

"Neil and I do other things" Aaron hears Andrew's cheeky grin.

"Ew, gross."

"I wanted to give you a hug" Aaron stops squirming.

"Then can I touch you?"

"Go ahead."

Aaron puts his hand on Andrew's back, moves it up and down tentatively, and then stops.

"And why?" Aaron wants to know why Andrew would want to hold him.

"Because you like the way Nicky and Eric hugged you, because when you hugged me I felt safe, and if you feel the same way, then I'll do it for you."

Aaron leans into his brother's shoulder. To him, this doesn't feel like something Andrew would do for a deal, it feels like something Andrew would do for Neil, as his exception to the rules.

Aaron didn't really hug Andrew after the first time, but he was the one who touched Andrew, lightly, unobtrusively, reminding Andrew, who might have fallen out of reality, that he wasn't alone, they didn't have conversations, they were just there for the other. And Andrew had never flinched, he hated being touched, without warning, without permission, but with Aaron he didn't feel the same way.

Andrew, Neil, who later came into view standing next to the coach, and Wymack didn't stay long, Aaron didn't keep them away from all the greetings and conversations.

"Coach, what made you want to come here?" Andrew leans on the door of his car as Neil takes a picture of Aaron on Andrew's phone.

"I can't come to my child?" Wymack replies. "Send me his photo later."

Andrew stands up straight.

"Yes, Father" and nods like a promise, Wymack rolls his eyes at this.

"Maybe Andrew should have worn your robes, it would have been nice," Neil says as he and Aaron approach.

"Your hands are crooked, you can't do anything right," Aaron complains.

They say goodbye, promising to meet up later when Aaron finishes his internship, when he should call them to celebrate and Nicky and Eric will be coming from Germany. Andrew does indeed send photos of Aaron in his gown, with his diploma and bouquet in one hand and a pot of violets in the coach. Andrew posts one with a composed, serious Aaron on his Instagram, to which Nicky sends a crying emoji, and puts a photo of a smiling Aaron on his phone's desktop screen, with Neil on his lock screen, cuddling their two cats, the three of them sleepy and just waking up to the rays of the sun.

[neowqing]

Sirius wakes up in a cold bed, with a blanket around his shoulders but an empty place beside him, darkness washing over the room, although the corner where the window is not covered by curtains is illuminated by the moon. He gets up slowly, rubbing his eyes, the clock reads 1:36 am, and Black struggles to get up. He wraps himself in a blanket, hiding from the biting cold crawling across the floor, behind his bare feet, goes down the stairs to the kitchen, there are no lights on in the house, in any of the rooms, Sirius tries the cellar handle, it doesn't give, it's locked, he switches on the kitchen light, the table is empty, there is no cup of tea or hot water, he goes to the window overlooking the inner garden to finally find a figure in a light black nightgown. Sirius makes his way to the back door, opening it.

Severus' figure is fragile, small, he has never been known for his muscles or fat, always painfully thin, but strong, unwavering, he has spent years in the dungeons, as a student, as the head of the house, as someone who sought refuge and salvation there, brewing potions and conducting experiments, he is still not used to the cold, Sirius knows this well when he grabs a cold hand or touches a frozen cheek, Severus' nose is often red from the cold, and forgetfulness from childish impatience doesn't help, honestly, Sirius didn't expect this from him, always considering Severus older than he was, superior and above everything. So in his school days, Snape did not button his old coat and was without a scarf and gloves, Sirius learned that Severus did not have the money for it, but ran down the street to meet Lily or to collect plants for potions, later Lily got a scarf for him, and Sirius saw how Severus did not tie it, but let it hang freely from his neck, the boy often pulled it so that it did not fall, but otherwise was too interested in something not to pay attention. So now, whenever Severus might forget, Sirius is there to wrap the scarf around his neck, adjust it to hide his neck from the wind, and put on warm gloves.

Sirius walks towards the tree under which Severus is standing, Black can feel through the slippers he had put on by the door how cold the ground is, how frosty it is, he walks faster to reach Snape and throw a blanket over him, pulling Severus' back to his chest, hugging his shoulders, and putting his head into his shoulder, shaking his head, rubbing his forehead against his frozen skin.

"Why are you out in the cold, and naked?"

Severus is silent in response, he's not paying attention, looking further into the sky, Sirius grumbles and drops his arm around Severus' waist, catching the other end of the blanket with his arm wrapped around Severus' shoulders, he pulls his man over him, lifting him off the ground to place his cold feet on his shoes, pressing him as close as possible.

"Sirius," Severus says softly. And Sirius smiles, blissful at the sound of his voice and the warmth in his heart. Severus shrugs his shoulder, which Sirius is leaning on, to get his attention, and then points to the sky, the constellation of the big dog, the brightest star being Sirius.

"Yes," Sirius exhales, looking at the bright body.

"I just couldn't sleep." Severus finally responds, he leans his body back, leaning against Sirius, this time being the one to push his nose into Sirius' neck, and Sirius shivers from the cold but doesn't move away, holding the blanket tighter. They stay like this for a while longer, until Sirius is going into the house, and Severus mutters that he can't walk, tired, sleepy and cold, Sirius bites his tongue, doesn't answer, "It's your fault," and carries Severus up the stairs, to lay him on the bed, and lie down beside him, hold him in his arms, and endure the cold, especially from Snape's hands, which he places on Sirius' back until Severus is warm, and he kisses Severus on the cheekbone, rubs his nose, and kisses him again as he falls asleep.

[neowqing]

At Dumbledore's insistence that Severus and Sirius should get along, he made them sit next to each other, and to avoid quarrels they were forbidden to speak unless asked, and if at first Sirius behaved like a child, his usual behaviour, showing how disgusted he was, after a while he relaxed in his chair and began to hit his fingers on the table and run them around, only to find Severus' hand in his, and not remove his own, but begin to interact.

Sirius covered his hand with his own to keep it warm, and Severus didn't let on, keeping his face neutral and suppressing the urge to take his hand away, which would have attracted attention. Black didn't stop, he gently pulled the hand towards him to encompass it in both of his palms and knead the inside, making Severus goosebumps, he went to each finger individually, kneaded the joints, touching gently, and hid the hand between his own to continue warming it.

Severus glanced around the room, no one seemed to notice, nor did Sirius, who was only looking at the speaker, perhaps not realising what he was doing all this time, stroking his fingers, Severus palm, from time to time.

When the meeting ends Black lets go of Severus' hand to say goodbye to Remus, with a hug, Snape uses as he slips out of the house, it was awkward, in fact if someone had noticed and asked him about it, Severus would have probably cursed them instead of answering.

"Sirius, my boy" Albus lingered in the kitchen when everyone else had left. "Severus was sitting next to you this time..."

Sirius nods, interrupting.

"I know, and I know what I was doing, don't worry" Sirius smiles before bidding the headmaster goodbye and walking up the stairs to his room.

[neowqing]

At first glance at Sirius Black, Severus knew he would have taken ten steps to meet the ten separating them. He would walk all the way to get to the boy, and then Sirius open his mouth.

In the years that followed, Severus would move ten paces away, but no matter how far he moved away, Black would come to mock, to taunt, to pick a fight, Severus would respond and then leave, not wanting to stay within reach.

And after 12 years separating them from each other, Severus would walk halfway, where Sirius would be waiting for him in the middle.

[neowqing]

" Raven's totally solved the problem of the being no puppies in the sky..." And, stop.

Severus is a sky puppy, and Sirius ordinary puppy.

Raven's often present as singles, but in reality have connections. Severus actually had Lily, have Minerva, i think Malfoy's is also somehow friends. But Severus can be " white raven" too.

Sirius literally a puppy, in the body of an adult, big dog.

They are someone who has similarities, but at the same time are completely different.

[neowqing]

Sirius' prank that ends with Severus' death, and Sirius' entire subsequent life feels like:

"You will look into the faces of passes by, hoping for something that will, for an instant, bring me back to you. You will find moonlit nights strangely empty because, when you call my name through them there will be no answer".

[neowqing]

Sirius Black, who is emotional towards Snape, and Severus, who is keeping to himself, and there's a reason for that, they dated until they graduated and Severus left Sirius. So, Sirius has the idea that it's because Snape doesn't need him anymore and he's someone who's easy to give up on, and Severus who did it because Sirius is the only one he can give up on and he wants to protect, from himself and the consequences of his decisions. In addition, they both live with the thought "I don't deserve him or his love".

[neowqing]

(Phrase from " Moonrise kingdom". )

" What kind of bird are you?", it's Sirius, who just first saw Severus as an adult, after 12 years, in all robes, with a long hem.ьThe words sound like mockery in Severus's head, but Sirius is entranced and in love.

[neowqing]

Narcissa was in love, Bellatrix was crazy, Andromeda he couldn't judge because he hadn't seen enough of her, his father and mother were distant and cold, all the people around Regulus gave him enough spectrum to know that Sirius was different.

At first, he was sure it was hatred, the way Sirius couldn't walk past Severus, he would touch him, throw a spell, make fun of him, he could see Sirius looking across the room and how uncomfortable Severus was. Later on, Regulus could assume it was love when he saw Sirius get jealous whenever anyone was close to Snape, when one day Regulus caught his older brother pinning Severus to the wall and hissing about which were a DeathEater and a pureblood, how Severus would never fit in their company and would be superfluous, Regulus took it for a strange kind of patronising from Sirius. And then Regulus realised it was an obsession. It might not have been visible to others, even to Sirius' friends, but Regulus saw it. The way Sirius couldn't stay away, the way he deliberately crossed paths with Severus, the way he looked hard, as if to touch, and never let go, the way he wouldn't let Severus win, run away, always finding him, and forcing him to play his cruel game, as if to outline Severus' capabilities, to remind him where he belonged, and the more time passed, the closer that place was at Sirius' feet.

[neowqing]

I won't be able to believe any other ship with Sirius, because he's not stupid, and he had to take into account that Severus would go to the shack, so Sirius had to expect that if anything, he and his friends, where it wouldn't take long to investigate, if everything was fair, and it turned out that they were unregistered animagus and a werewolf, were all in danger. So he's obviously obsessed with Snape more than he is a loyal friend and comrade. The fact that his obsession is connected with harm to Severus' health and life is another matter.

[neowqing]

Sirius has no problems with his name and nickname. He's Sirius, Padfoot, Pads, Snuffles to his friends, and he's always fine with that, but when someone says "Siri", he politely corrects them to other available options.

Black returns home, exhausted but without wounds, as promised when he walked out the door, and is greeted by the smell of herbs and soup. This makes him take off his shoes as soon as possible, looking into the living room to see if his husband is sitting there, not finding him on the couch, Sirius follows the set path to the kitchen.

"Siri, welcome home," Severus smiles, barely noticeable, tired and sleep-deprived, at the table where papers with other people's essays are scattered.

"I'm home, Sev."

Sirius has spent a lot of time persuading Severus to call him "Siri", so it's his alone, and no one else is allowed to call him that.

[neowqing]

Sirius is the one who fell in love first, and the one who fell harder, when Severus, in revenge for the green spots and a piece of snake scales that came on Snape's arm, pushed Black down the stairs.

[neowqing]

Things start off a little suspiciously. Lily is happy, even if they are no longer friends, that Severus has succeeded in Transfiguration. Of course, she doesn't say it out loud, and they're not friends anymore, but she's still got a little bit of proud, a residual feeling of friendship.

Then it was new supplies, and books on Severus' desk as if he'd won the lottery, then new clothes, neater, as if they'd been made for him, and Lily thought it might be a stroke of luck, until Sirius Black started to catch up on the material.

Black wasn't stupid, he got good marks, he seemed natural in class, like nothing bothered him, and he knew and could do it, he didn't volunteer answers, but now he sometimes just knew the answers he said off the top of his head, like material, and it could be Remus reading books out loud to his friends so they know something, but then in Potions Lily saw it, the way Sirius changes the recipe rather than just following the textbook, and of course there can only be one person involved.

She finds Severus in the library, on a Thursday, in his usual spot, a remote one, away from the groups of co-ed friends and where students don't go because it's not required reading. Lily sits down wordlessly across him, a frown on her face. Severus doesn't pay attention, just glances at her and then back at the book, not that she was expecting to be enthusiastic, although she partly expected it.

"You and Black" is just a fact, a statement, with a hint of condemnation.

" And?" Severus doesn't look caught, or impressed.

"And? He's been literally mocking and abusing you all these years! It's Black! Did he put something in your drink?" Lily waves her hands in exasperation.

"Interesting that you remember that" Severus puts the book down. "Didn't your saintly Potter do the same? Didn't he harass you? Didn't he bother you? He picked on you, he humiliated me with his friends, but that's not the problem, is it?"

"This is different!" Lily is irritated, what does this have to do with anything?

"The other? You chose him, the one who was obsessed with his ego and desire to have you, did he apologise? I made one mistake in our friendship after I was humiliated in front of everyone, practically stripped naked, and I apologised for months, which you didn't want to hear, and now that they've stopped bothering me and I'm dating Sirius you've come here to what?" Severus's voice is measured, he doesn't break down into emotion, remaining calm, though his fingers shake with inner anger. He can't sit here feeling sorry for himself, stewing in this conversation and his feelings, picking up his bag, he leaves his textbook and Lily at the table, leaving the library.

[neowqing]

Neil naturally wondered why Kevin and Aaron were so loud about being "straight" when no one was forcing them to shout it, and didn't even start the topic. So, after some "it's easier to be straight" from Kevin, and "I'm not Nicky then, I like girls" from Aaron, Neil asked:

"Why are you so categorical? Have you tried it?" It was not even a mockery.

"Because men are disgusting," Aaron says, sitting down on the bench in the locker room. "If I were a woman, I'd be a lesbian," Aaron assures.

"Ditto" Kevin agrees and then looks at Aaron "If you and I were girls, I'd date you" Kevin winks at Aaron, who stares blankly before replying.

"If we were girls, I'd go out with you too."

Neil doesn't bring up the subject of their loud statements anymore, because it seems that no matter how loud they say it, the content doesn't match the reality.

[neowqing]

Walking away from last meeting, Severus remembers saying that Sirius was like a rooster or a turkey, walking around proudly with his chest out, even though he was useless, and he was sure that it meant nothing until he returned to Grimmauld Place.

Remus was used to bringing Sirius things, food, cigarettes, some board games, once an album and pencils because Sirius had decided to become an artist, but finding a chick and a large cage was an unexpected request and Remus tried his best, and found it to satisfy his old friend's whim, that he could not leave the four walls. So now, sitting at the table, Sirius was fussing with his new friend, feeding him porridge, Remus decides not to ask questions so that Sirius could explain his behaviour later, but Severus is less tactful, entering the kitchen he immediately sees a spectacle.

"Have you found a fellow human being, or have you decided to grow your own lunch?" Snape stands in the doorway.

"How dare you!" Sirius puts his hand over the chicken, causing it to flutter, and Black raises his hand to avoid crushing it. "You can't even joke about killing our child."

Remus coughs, covering his mouth, trying to blend into the wall without being seen.

"What?" Severus remains motionless, perhaps he has misheard.

Sirius picks up the bird and the bowl of porridge to approach.

"I walk as proud as a rooster, so mum hen, please take part in our child's life too" Black doesn't stop, walking on, going up to his room to leave the chick in its cage while the Order meeting takes place.

Snape turns around, making his cloak shimmer, and follows Sirius up the stairs, and Remus catches snatches of their words.

"Don't quarrel in front of the child..." And "You've lost your mind, what a child..."