never-quite-there

[never-quite-there]

Fujica ST705 SLR

Last week I purchased a film camera, the Fujica ST705. My idea was that I wanted to do photography, but don’t quite understand everything that is happening automatically in modern mirrorless cameras, such as my Fujifilm X-T100. With the Fujica, it is all manual and I would have to be a lot more methodical about taking shots as it is 35mm film. 

Since picking it up I have NOT had a chance to take any photos, BUT, I have been exploring the world of film photography and believe that I will love this a lot more than just using it as a teaching opportunity. 

This camera is from the 70s, and I must say that it has held up really well. It feels really solid, clean, and premium. I’m really excited to start taking shots with it over the weekend if I can find some time with good light. I think that it really compliments my Fujifilm X-T100.

Hopefully I can get the hang of it using cheap and/or out of date film before spending proper $$$. I will make sure I post up some progress shots to be able to look back on them. 

[never-quite-there]

I haven't had the energy to type a post for the past few days, even though it's these days that I want written down so that I can reflect in the future.

Moments of joy and happiness, which are eventually swallowed by sadness and emptiness. I can't really express this around friends and family, and just show a neutral self. I guess this does make it easier and helps me forget my internal voice that surfaces when I am alone, and at my worse.

In these moments alone I really feel lost, and empty. I feel everything, and also nothing at the same time. I am not sure how to describe it.

I feel that my search for happiness is behind a giant, dark, mountain, full of fog and void of sunlight. I have to climb this huge mountain of tasks in order to even see where the happiness can be found. I'm just not sure I can do it, and even if I do, it's a very long way away. How much longer can I go on like this? Is happiness just a hopeless desire for me?

[never-quite-there]

Really looking forward to my new 8bitdo Ultimate Wired controller for Xbox, and I received the confirmation email the other day. Pre-order, and soon to be released.

I have several of their controllers for my Nintendo Switch already, and I really love them.

I bought one for my female friend for the Xbox, in PlayStation style, and she really enjoys it as well. Keen to play using this new model specifically designed for Xbox joystick orientation.

This is the 8bitdo Pro 2 wired controller for Xbox.

I'm really keen to add to my 8bitdo controller collection even further.

Definitely recommend to anyone who is on the fence, or looking for an alternative to their OEM controllers that won't break the bank.

[never-quite-there]

Sometimes, like tonight, I feel that nothing I do will ever be good enough for the people around me. They're really not to blame at all, as they have normal and rational expectations. What's to blame is me, and how I CONSTANTLY never live up to what I say I will.

I really do just hate myself, often. It's hard staying away from the edge sometimes. I stay away because of my family, and how it would impact their lives (and because I'm a big fat pussy). Everyone else? I'm sure that while they'd be sad for a short time would soon forget and move on, not quite realising how their life has improved because I am not there to drag at their heels.

[never-quite-there]

A few weeks ago I lost (or had stolen from me) my Samsung Galaxy Book. Since then I have been searching everywhere for it, with no luck.

Purchased some Tiles to put on my keys as well as my wallet, and since then have purchased more and given to family.

Finding it really useful now, and only getting better the more I add. Being able to share with and from my family is very helpful as well