nidhisthoughts - Tumblr blog

[nidhisthoughts]

I weep because you cannot save people. You can only love them.

Hanya Yanagihara , A Little Life

[nidhisthoughts]

Blood on bypass

This love of mine felt stuck, like a clogged vein. I wanted it to rush and pace, to swirl and move around, carrying life-affirming whispers to be absorbed and releasing the suffocating thoughts of grief and guilt.

Let me confess: this stupid clogged vein was stuck inside you, not me. I had to spell it out, like I usually did. What was the point in hiding when you and I both knew I was inside you? But we saw, you were trying to control me. It began to hurt.

I didn’t like feeling stuck in this straining, sluggish story. So, I made it easier for both of us. I released myself, free.

Since we knew, what was the point in trying to make a black heart glow with ruby red glory?

[nidhisthoughts]

when loneliness breeds

It breathes heavily and sighs. It glazes over my eyes. It wills me to seek it. It asks me question I’d rather have left unanswered. I hear it now, trying to claw through my mind shield. I feel it burning my eyes, coaxing a tear. I feel it swirling and moving around my chest- creating a vacuum. Is it trying to make itself a home? Although now, I’m aware of its know-how. It feels familiar, and you know what they say about familiarity…

Loneliness breeds contempt.

[nidhisthoughts]

i love being overwhelmed <3

Confounded yet amazed, life shakes my soul,

A whirlwind of emotions takes a toll.

From deepest grief to joy that knows no bound,

My soul sighs, on ambiguity found.

Tall ancient trees, where sunlight paints the leaves,

Vast mountains soar, the ocean heaves.

Storm's crackle, and the sun's exhilarating glow,

This, we all know.

Life unfolds, with light and shade, A rush, where good and bad are made.

Yet, is it black and white? Perhaps a combined hue,

Endless possibilities, forever re-new.

Discomfort's sting, a challenge to be faced, In every trial, a soul finds its grace?

Strange warmth within, a tear rolls down my face,

The unknown beckons, a mysterious space.

[nidhisthoughts]

I am tired.

So tired of the burdens that pile upon my back. So tired of the unanswered questions of my past. So tired of waiting for a brighter tomorrow, a hopeful dream.

Yet, I know this: though I feel worn down, my inner child brims with a strength that deflects every negativity that tries to seep in. I know she is more awake than ever before. She is prepared to protect herself and all the precious souls she loves.

Tiresome, yes, but filled with strength. Still weary.

[nidhisthoughts]

A deep psychological journey - My google search history

Searching through the archives of tabs—

give me few rhyming words for path

what are the important theories for organisational psychology

what are Steinbeis university interview questions?

nail extensions near me

do strawberries have iron?

how to get rid of pimple scabs?

how does vitamin B12 increase acne?

how to hot compress on acne?

meeting your boyfriends sister for the first time (filetype: blog)

does CUET have negative marking?

how long does it take for Allegra to work?

how to use a capo on a guitar?

[nidhisthoughts]

The Unacknowledged Pain Of Loving Someone.

Love comes with a silent understanding: you can't shield your partner from all hurt. Their struggles become yours, a helplessness that resides alongside your unwavering support. You witness their pain and yearn to mend it, but you know some battles they must fight alone.

This is the tenderness of love, a love that thrives in shared vulnerability. It's the quiet tears you shed, the unspoken anxieties that cloud your mind. You're their pillar of strength, yet you grapple with your own helplessness.

True love is being there through thick and thin, but it's also understanding that some storms you can't weather for them. You long to alleviate their burdens, to see them smile again. Yet, you respect their need for space when overwhelmed.

The unasked questions swirl: Should you reach out? Give them space? The desire to comfort, to be their solace, clashes with the fear of intruding. Love becomes a dance of presence and respect, a yearning to ease their pain alongside the knowledge that some battles are theirs alone.

This is the unwarned about aspect of love: the quiet agony of walking beside someone you love through their struggles. But within this struggle lies a profound strength, a love that transcends words. It's a love that says, "I'll be here, every step of the way, even when I can't take away your pain.”

[nidhisthoughts]

inking my breath into being

“Why write?”, you ask. I write to pen my thoughts. I write so that my many voices have a permanent place in passing time. I write to revisit my thoughts, objective and clear.

I write to acknowledge the presence of a fleeting feeling. I write to break free from fixations. I write to save my mind from drowning. I write to unstick my choked throat. I write to end suffocation. I write to cast away the rock that sits on my chest.

I write to immortalise love’s butterflies. I write to document expectations and anxieties. I write to validate my flaws. I write to capture my growth as evidence.

I write for proof of existence. I write to resonate with. I write to refute self-doubt. I write to shield my weak mind and heart. I write to feel alive. I write to know life.

I simply write.

[nidhisthoughts]

an ode to my blazing force of nature

He is a warm pool of sunlight, hidden in plain sight. The more you look, the more you find yourself engulfed by his dazzling eyes. The fierceness of his glare has etched itself into my soul, searing through it the memory of him.

When he loves, you can see determination, the kind that will never be eclipsed. He is our life-giving star. And, of course, our God has certainly bestowed it upon him. For who deserves it more? My man carries with him the very essence of the solar winds: his passion for love - all of us, never-ending.

He does not glare, neither does he eclipse. Instead, he pulls with him his divine lover — the moon. He never fails to show her off, through his soft golden kisses, warm wind caresses. He lights her up, thereby showing he is resilient — he showers that inspiration as rays, proving to be fruitful to all life.

Our God has blessed him — the Sun with his Moon. The blazing Sun offering intense devotion to the serene Moon — only some are honoured to see.

I am glad to be one of the many who can experience ardently the force of nature God created him to be.

[nidhisthoughts]

broken beyond- loves embrace

Years can stretch on between loves, and in that waiting, we forget the simple truth: to love is to love. This experience teaches you the innate need for patience. Whispering affirmations, you remind yourself that growth unfolds in the unknown. Yet, thoughts of self-doubt and lack of faith inevitably wash over you.

But then again, you return to the mere thought of hope. It lingers in the crevices of other voices, a whisper that sparks a glimmer and reminds you of what is not yet lost. This, in turn, ignites a flame of faith. And within this renewed faith lies the answer. We dissect ourselves, searching for flaws, because we’ve forgotten that love embraces us exactly as we are.

We choose to find problems and “fix” ourselves. But isn’t the need to fix ourselves to find love counterintuitive to the notion that love is about acceptance, forgiveness, surrender, and simply being? True love starts within us. When this realization dawns, that’s when you know: to love is to love.