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[notdw]

I’d be alright with Doctor Who becoming a Disney property if this capitalist hellscape continues. (It’s an entertainment property that belongs to the BBC and they said they would never give it up, it certainly belongs to the British people, but everything’s a bottom dollar under capitalism. So, if Doctor Who’s PR does really well, especially in America, with a return on Disney’s advertising investment, they will put deals on the table and Disney is trying to own entertainment, so…) So long as the right fans continue to create it, I’ll be fine. Just don’t let Chibnall take the head ever again.

[notdw]

Chris Chibnall Thinks You're Stupid

I hate to bring this up, but anyone who writes for Doctor Who, primarily Steven Moffat and Chris Chibnall, thinks that you, the audience, is stupid. It consistently insults your intelligence. This show has twice alluded to the fact that it has continuity errors while presenting continuity errors. Either they don't know that they're stupid or they think you're stupid and I'm totally sold on the latter. Doctor Who is a fucking joke and all I want right now is to put Chris Chibnall six feet under the ground.

[notdw]

The Sixth Doctor

This one’s a little bit tricky. I hadn’t had the Sixth Doctor in my mind for that long primarily because that’s how long he was on the show. And to give any sort of insight on the Sixth Doctor without much knowledge doesn’t do much justice for the character. There are those that claim that the Sixth Doctor grows with the audio stories, and it is true that he doesn’t get to flourish much with his brief tenure. But what the Sixth Doctor suffers from most are his dreadful stories. As the show itself began its decline with the mid to late 80s, the stories began to be lackluster, even more so than their predecessors. The Third Doctor admittedly had the same problem more or less, as did the BBC when it came to funding Doctor Who, but the biggest advantage that Jon Pertwee had over Colin Baker was that the show was still new by its own standards (not even a fifth of its own life had passed by) and wasn’t overcome by the drastic change in entertainment style that the 80s was ultimately full of. We’ll return to that point later on, but for now let’s discuss the Sixth Doctor.

The Sixth Doctor was amongst the most radical if not the most radical of the Doctors. He was bold, brash, and bright (unfortunately literally as well). He, unlike his predecessor and much like Three, was headstrong and dived head first into action. He was more prone to violence and his tone was certainly more forward. While it may seem like nowadays the Doctor is the first to say he doesn’t use a gun, he certainly has, and definitely before the Last Great Time War. In The Talons of Weng-Chiang, the Fourth Doctor used a shotgun to kill a giant mouse. In Revenge of the Cybermen, the Sixth Doctor one-hundred percent shot a Cyberman (or several) at the end of that story. More often than not, the Doctor runs and lets someone else who’s not his responsibility shoot the monsters. But Revenge of the Cybermen lives to prove that the Sixth Doctor is a completely man, especially different the Sixth Doctor.

I had stated in a previous note about regeneration from way back when that the Doctor’s regenerations specifically create a man that is a derivative of or a departure from his previous incarnation. Where the First Doctor is a proper fellow, the Second Doctor is a hobo; where the Third Doctor is a gentlemanly warrior, the Fourth Doctor is a bohemian pacifist. Where the Ninth Doctor is edgy, the Tenth Doctor is dorky. The only reason I stated that an incarnation should be a derivative of the previous one is because of the differences between the Tenth and Eleventh Doctors. The only one I could think of is their style of dress and certain mannerisms. Where the Tenth Doctor both looks and sounds young, the Eleventh Doctor just looks young, but he’s so much better at sounding old. It’s a comparison that I should really look into (in fact, I will later on). However, both the Tenth and Eleventh Doctors look young, talk consistently and virtually without end, and have a certain amount of pride for their intelligence with arrogance to boot.

That point brings us to one of the most drastic changes in Doctor Who history: the Fifth Doctor to the Sixth Doctor. While the Fifth Doctor was boyish, the Sixth Doctor was authoritative. Where the Fifth Doctor was sporty, the Sixth was theatrical. Where the Fifth Doctor was reserved, the Sixth Doctor was boastful. Where the Fifth Doctor was timid, the Sixth was dauntless. This list could go on and on, but you can clearly see the point. The Sixth Doctor was a dramatist and if he stubbed his toe, he’d be the first to tell you. And to drive the point home that the Sixth Doctor was o so different, his dress was about as colorful as he was (no, that wasn’t his choice).

This Doctor could definitely be so wonderful and it’s a shame that he isn’t higher on my personal list of Doctors, but it’s only because we hardly spend any time with him. True, the same could be said of the Fifth Doctor, but we had nearly an extra season with him so he could solidify himself. Just as viewers were trying to situate themselves with a new Doctor (as I can only assume), they were left to adjust to a new one only two years later (three technically if you really count the Twin Dilemma). It’s worth mentioning that this Doctor could easily be mistaken for a joke and therefore unable to place himself in high place in most people’s hearts particularly because of his clown suit. With that Doctor’s nature, Colin Baker could have easily gotten away with something black.

Coming back to the stories of this Doctor and why it’s hard to judge him in the first place, I must admit the fault may be in fact my own. While some of the stories were indeed gruesome and some had potential to add to the show, like Revelation of the Daleks and Vengeance on Varos, some others were quite slow and added little to the show and his character, most notably The Two Doctors. These stories were set in a format that was definitely familiar to the BBC but was also starting to become archaic. With Star Wars ending and Terminator beginning as well as the trickling down of cinematic influence on television, it was only a matter of time that Doctor Who either had to change or suffer falling behind. Of course, in a large part due to Jonathan Nathan Turner’s negligence, the latter did indeed happen. When there was an opportunity to change, the chance was taken way too late and that method had proved itself to fail regardless. I will talk about this extensively in my Seventh Doctor entry.

What could have been a Doctor for the ages in the hearts of many seems to be in a large part another Doctor, another incarnation that’s just there, a Doctor that claims importance simply because he exists. Any reference that is made to him, especially in the modern series, is mostly a mention of his existence and is not one of any impact he’s seemed to have made. And it may be, because, again, because he simply wasn’t given much time and enough material to be considered truly iconic. And while he is most certainly the Doctor, and certainly not a footnote, he was most certainly robbed of his chance to cement himself has the stellar madman that he’s most known to be. I hope it’s not taken as disrespect and mainly as a recognition of a truly missed opportunity. The Sixth Doctor still proves himself to be quite brilliant, but he never gets the recognition he deserves.

[notdw]

Why I Didn't Fucking Like Dark Water and Death in Heaven - Pt. 6

I'M NOT FUCKING DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

13. The Master's TARDIS

So the Master escaped the Time War, assumingly in his own TARDIS because he indeed has once, and traveled to the end of time. He must have it parked then because there's no when else he could have parked it. The Master steals the Doctor's TARDIS to be Harold Saxon. Stuff happens, he comes back to life, he attempts to murder Rassilon, he comes back as a woman. He still has no TARDIS. Ok, just steal another, right? What about the dimensional leak? So there's a TARDIS at the end of time, apparently collecting dust and bleeding out dimensions, threatening the already unstable ends of time and the universe. Does no one give a fuck?

What about before the Time War? If they found the Master's old TARDIS so that he could use it in the war, fine. in that case, we have the first scenario to deal with. Otherwise, the Master has possessed three TARDISes, which sounds fucking terrible, simply abandoning TARDISes in space and time.

About this possibly third TARDIS. It is either in the St. Paul Cathedral or is the St. Paul Cathedral. Either way, how did he get unnoticed for so long. Isn't it either a tourist spot or a popular church that people go to for fucking worship. Does the Master run the sermons? Where does he end up going? What the fucking fuck? How does his TARDIS go completely unnoticed? It's the St. Paul Ca-fucking-thedral!!!

14. Because Steven Moffat thinks he's a fucking comedian

Clara only gets to use the Doctor line once, you can't run that joke any further!!! Furthermore, you can't run that joke into the goddamn title sequence!!!! Fuck you, Moffat.

15. Osgood

I do not believe Osgood: a. didn't take that threat seriously; b. would listen to the Master when she says he's got something to say (and fuck pronoun rules). I don't believe Osgood is that stupid and I FUCKING REFUSE TO ALLOW MOFFAT TO GET RID OF SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER FOR THE SAKE OF FUCK-ALL!!!!! As I was having a shouting match with my TV (I shouted at my TV throughout the episode; to find out why, see pt. 4), I was literally wondering why Osgood shouldn't just travel with the Doctor just to have the Doctor mention doing that very thing. And you know why Moffat killed her off? Because she's a fucking cunt and because it was supposed to be "sad" she didn't get to realize her dreams. Fuck Moffat! You don't kill a character like that for feels, you kill people because they are either too important or too unimportant (see Peri). Osgood essentially becomes just another casualty, and you know what, fuck Moffat for that! Yeah, you're welcome.

16. Doctor Bond

Putting the Doctor in a sort of peril as tearing apart the plane and having him fall adds simply to the ex machina list of ways the Doctor can't die (apparently... see this). Not to mention that was pointless anyway, because they didn't even come to save the Master, they just simply did it to do it ('cause the Master enjoys fucking shit up for no reason).

17. The Fucking Cybermen Again

Isn't the point of the Cybermen to not have emotions and whatnot? And doesn't the inhibitor chip activate as soon as a Cyberman does? Why does the inhibitor have a delay when it comes to the dead? Isn't the point of the inhibitor so that the Cybermen won't go mad when they realize they've become Cybermen and won't have moral obstacles when going on killing sprees? Why can these Cybermen just be Cybermen and have emotions without having some sort of backlash? Didn't Russell T. establish this? What the fucking fuck?

18. The Plan

The plan involves giving the Cybermen to the Doctor so the Master can prove he's as crazy as she is? What kind of fucking plan is that? What is the point? The point is this...

[notdw]

Why I Didn't Fucking Like Dark Water and Death in Heaven - Pt. 5

10. The Master

No, I will not call him the Mistress! I don't give a shit! I know it's been mentioned several times on the show, once the Doctor thought he wouldn't be human, but can the Master really have an immediate sex change without going through some damn stress first? Maybe he didn't and that's why he's so damn crazy now. Did he have to go through all that trouble with the Cybermen? How does Time Lord PMS work? These are really pressing questions, and none of them are fathomed past "What if he was a woman?" What if the Doctor went through the same thing? He has at least three grandchildren, four wives (two of which were never seen, one never mentioned or implied) and two children (all excluding Rose Tyler relations). Would he be gay, then? Would he regret his decisions? Suppose he decides to have more children, how would he feel going the other way around? Usually those who go through sex changes don't go though one overnight without any thoughts on the matter. Naturally there's stress involved (and we're back at square one again). I just won't accept it. And the whole changing race thing? Forget about it. "Hey, you're not a Time Lord." "Yes I am, I just look like a Silurian." Christ.

Not to mention, last time we see the Master, he was saving the Doctor's life. He disa-fucking-ppeared. Let's assume he died and disintegrated because of his increasing destructive state: no more regenerations. Let's assumer he died and regenerated. You'd best believe he was captured the Time Lords, even if he is a woman. The Master was definitely captured by the Time Lords because no fucking way they'd let him go, especially after attacking motherfucking Rassilon. If he was imprisoned by the Time Lords, he was likely executed if not imprisoned for-fucking-ever. Either way, there's no escaping the Time Lords, he can't fucking come back, ever.

11. The Cybermen

Do these idiots not remember the army of Cybermen that nearly fucking destroyed the human race nearly seven years ago (assuming it's 2014 Earth)? No, because Steven Moffat says so, because the human race always forgets when it faces near fucking genocide.

Not to mention their armor is now implanted with microscopic cyber converters despite how stupid that sounds. They spend so much time upgrading themselves you have to wonder why they ever lose.

On top of that, these Cybermen take orders from a not-Cyberman. And who's plan was this? Missy's, not their's, the Cybermen somehow become her pawns. And their emotional inhibitor chips only work when time passes? Bullshit, Russel T. made it clear that as soon as one realizes they've become a Cyberman, they tend to shut down and die because the emotional implications of not having your own body causes people to go into extreme shock. Even the dead would be super confused and ultra-shut down. Inhibitor chips also combat emotions regarding love, so you can't feel it, but PE has the potential to overcome the effects of the chip because emotions ex machina triumph over logic and emotional inhibitors. The power of live, man.

12. UNIT

Congratulations: a. You got a phone call from the Master about the plan he was hatching. b. You fucks actually didn't listen to the Doctor for once and you all deserved to die because of it. c. After NOT trusting the one man you hand over your entire military to, you make him president of the goddamn human race. WHAT WAS THE POINT OF INCAPACITATING HIM THEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You just didn't want him to object being president of the world. By the way, no human, not even Rose Tyler, would allow an alien to be the ruler of the human race. 

[notdw]

Why I Didn't Fucking Like Dark Water and Death in Heaven - Pt. 4

7. Faulty TARDIS

I enjoy the TARDIS's slight faultiness, I really do. But is it so faulty that it couldn't detect they were either inside another TARDIS or inside London? I would like to say know because 98% of the time, the TARDIS at least knows when it is, but for this very specific moment, it didn't, which is bad even for the TARDIS. It was done simply for the reveal, which would otherwise suck if you didn't realize how stupid it would be that the TARDIS doesn't know when or where it is.

8. Because Steven Moffat is an Asshole

Considering all the reveals and ever-fascinating shit that Moffat throws into the end of the episode, I am absolutely shit pissed. Because I knew for a fact that the end of fucking Dark Water didn't make any fucking sense and refused to make sense. And the fact that I tried to make sense of it all when I knew that it didn't really fucked with my brain, legitimately. I sat there and basically took whatever was headed my way and there was no way I could handle all that information with the reveal. I knew that I had to wait a whole week to get the answers I needed and that upset me even more. Considering the heavy load that episode laid upon all viewers during the end, the lack of knowledge to link prior knowledge to currently given information, and the upcoming wait to satisfy said lack of information, my brain succumbed to pressure and I snapped ultimately. I'm not sure if it was shock or panic, I just knew I had to clench the ever-loving fuck out of something and curl into a fetal position. I could not speak considerably and I had to consider even mere existence because the lack of logic on a television show had caused me to go mad. Being aware of my own irrationality made me unsure of whether or not the awareness itself is either helpful or harmful. If it was helpful, it was because I knew it wasn't completely insane. And if it was harmful, it was because the knowledge of my irrationality actually didn't change anything, causing me to worry more. And if you put the two together, you could say it made no difference. After the episode that I had (which I had to go to my brother's place simply to sleep much of the anxiety), I had spent the rest of the week in perpetually loathing of simple existence and Dark Water because I would not get any answers, much less the ones I wanted, until today (Saturday). Because I had developed so much passion for a British television sci-fi series, I had let it affect me to an over-emotional level, an experience that I never want to have again (at least I get to proclaim my devotion to the show with this story, cementing my fandom altogether). Should I blame Moffat? No, I was being irrational. Will I? Yes, because when writing a story, you should never write a cliffhanger/climax so illogical and misinforming to the point of driving people mad.

9. Because Steven Moffat is Still an Asshole 

The Doctor Who staff is more in touch with the Doctor Who fandom than most shows, books, movies, or comics if not more than any at all. The dialogue of the show proves that (see The Power of Three and Kill the Moon). This season is particular with creating dialogue that the audience is intended to hear, including not-so-subtle references to the fandom and their "bases of operation". The Missy reveal, I felt, was patronizing to fans, including myself, who insisted Missy wasn't the Master (or, if the script was written before the season's debut, patronizing to the fans who would insist that Missy isn't the Master). It was a fan speculation, but I still know deep inside my mind and heart, even with all the "confirmation" that she is indeed the Master, that she absolutely fucking isn't. Yet, Moffat directly intended to tell us through Missy, "no shit, she's the fucking Master. Didn't you make the connection, Missy, Mistress, Master? You're a bunch of fucking idiots." That's the vibe I got from that line and, honestly, Steven Moffat can go eat a giant dick for being such a condescending son of a bitch and go fuck himself for having Michelle Gomez recite that line, it's goddamn appalling. This brings me to...

[notdw]

Why I Didn't Fucking Like Dark Water and Death in Heaven - Pt. 3

4. Clara Oswald

Ugh...

5. The Nethersphere

If the boy wanted to see Danny: a. How the fuck did he know Danny was there and; b. Why would you want to visit the man who killed you? Closure? it's not closure. If you want to visit the person who killed you, it's most likely to curse them the fuck out and strangle the everliving fuck out of their conscience. Regardless, it's really fucked up that you would shove guilt in someone's face like that, especially when you're both dead. Granted, Doctor Who runs on fucked up things happening to people, that's the basis of the show, people die. But, ultimately, the Nethersphere is insulting to the dead regardless of the people these fucked up things happen to, because what else would happen? Hitler would have to face all the Jews he ordered killed, Pontius Pilate looking upon Jesus; what about other soldiers who killed children in Afghanistan or even the dude who shot another dude for not giving up his crack money? It's pitiful.

Furthermore, I much enjoyed speculating that the Nethersphere was acutally Apalapucia (the planet from The Girl Who Waited) because of the garden at the ending of Deep Breath. But since the Nethersphere is not a physical plane, how is it that Missy could transport between it and the real world? because she is a Time Lady and isn't dead. So, how the hell?

6. Jeb

He was an AI with a conscious. Essentially, he's Time Lord technology, so we're going to assume that all powerful Time Lord technology has a conscious. Did I miss anything? Sure he was a great character who was ultimately rendered pointless. And that "death" really doesn't count, does it? The Nethersphere stops working if you destroy the AI, doesn't it? It's technically still harvesting minds despite having been emptied, right? Does it continuously upload the minds of the dead or does it choose? More on this in a later point.

[notdw]

Why I Didn't Fucking Like Dark Water and Death in Heaven - Pt. 2

1. Danny Pink

I'm not going to say Danny Pink is useless again because he drives the plot. However, two points:

1. HE IS ONLY USED TO DRIVE THE PLOT. Without him dying, there is no other way for them to set this plot in motion, he simply had to drop dead. "How does he die?" "I dunno, throw him into traffic, make Clara say something shocking enough for a SOLDIER to hear and make sure he stops in the middle of the street... without a cross signal... to make it more legit." He was basically a waste, a pawn, I don't care, they took a potentially great character and used him as a plot device, that's all he is now!

2. HIS CHARACTER WAS BASICALLY DESTROYED.

You're telling me that the only reason that Danny Pink was a part of this season was to be a bucket for Clara's emotions, a vessel to place all the emotions and urges she had for the Eleventh Doctor? And the only reason he was placed in this finale was to drive the plot? And he was taken away for the story-written sadness purposes? I could have taken his former characterization, but now Clara has to find another emotional partner, because even if her emotions were simply for Danny, and she really loved him and she'll never love anyone like she loved Danny, Clara is still a character that needs to be emotionally satisfied and whoever she ends up with is potentially screwed because he'd only be "second best". I don't care how you slice it, Clara's life will never be the same, and if it isn't fucked up for her, it'll be fucked up for whoever's she's with.

2. Orson Pink

How the fuck does he exist? Don't give me that "time can be rewritten" shit, it doesn't help. Does he have to be the grandchild of Danny Pink? No. Maybe Danny Pink's related to somebody and maybe just ends up looking like Danny. Fair, but he said time-traveling was in his family. Maybe the Doctor picks up another Pink, I don't know. But if he doesn't, then Orson can't exist. You can't fuck a ghost. And let's assume that some outrageous shit happens, like she picks up a Danny from an alternate universe. That would be totally copping out. We're not having another another Pete and Jackie dimensional romance.

3. The Doctor's Hypothesis

I feel as though the Doctor has been hypothesizing things, coincidentally correctly, the entire season in order to move the plot along. When he thinks he's right (again, he usually is), more plot ensues. Only on the Doctor's say so do things move along. The fact that the Doctor only hypothesizes the existence of an afterlife is when he allows Clara to find her boyfriend and find the damned thing (of course, it's not a real afterlife, but the point stands). Neither this Doctor nor the last would even consider such a thing as the afterlife. I would like to think that Ten would be more open to that notion than either Eleven or Twelve simply because Ten is more of a romantic. Regardless, even if the Doctor was actually "listening" the entire season, would he really follow up with the notion of the promised land. Again, pushing plot.

[notdw]

Why I Didn't Fucking Like Dark Water and Death in Heaven - Pt. 1

DISCLAIMER: THERE WILL BE A LOT OF RAVING AND CURSING, I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE!!!!!!! THIS IS YOUR FIRST WARNING, LEAVE NOW IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ!!!!!!

Dark Water will have premiered everywhere except the West Coast and Hawaii, and seeing as though the finale has finally come to close, I want to shed some light on the emotions I've had over the past week, and, yes, I do feel I need to express them. What promised to tie up some loose ends ended up being a Moffat scheme... again. I was completely turned off at the end and I couldn't render a verdict until now for two reasons, one of which was because I didn't feel it was appropriate or fair to judge Dark Water without finishing the story. It's like going through a book an claiming it was either good or bad without finishing it. This is going to be a long one and I'm going to have to break it up into bits to make it more readable. That way, people can pick and choose which points to read. THIS IS GOING TO BE REALLY LONG, SO IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ, THIS IS YOUR FINAL CHANCE, LEAVE NOW! OTHERWISE, STAY TUNED.

[notdw]

Why the Master Doesn't Give Two Shits About the Doctor

DISCLAIMER: I WILL NOT FUCKING DISCUSS DARK WATER!!!!! FUCK THE EVER-LOVING FUCK OUT OF DARK WATER!!!!!! JUST FUCK IT!!!!!!!!!

The Master and the Doctor have enjoyed a relatively brilliant animosity with one another since his inception in the eighth season of classic Who (and if Moffat is looking for parallels, fuck him). My only assumption that the Master chose the Doctor is because the Master chose Earth first (and frankly he was in the wrong place at the wrong time). Why the Master chose the human race to constantly fuck with, however, is a reason officially lost outside of budget restraints. Regardless, that's the Master's target (you could assume that he is jealous of the human race "winning" time and thus wanting to undo all their achievements) and that's what we're stuck with. Of course, the Master has his sights over conquering the whole universe and has messed with other races, the only other one worth considering is the Time Lords, but he always believes that universal domination starts with the human race. Maybe he believes they are the most vulnerable (though you were able to get into a fist fight with a Dalek in the past), we'll never know, but that's him, and that's the way it will be.

The Master and the Doctor both have enough cunning and intellect to throw entire armies at each other, but at the very least they never did so at the same time [for you skeptics out there, the Doctor spent five whole seasons with an entire army at his disposal (yes, disposal)]. However, most times the Doctor didn't need a whole army (and when he did, the Doctor would probably be dead without one). If we threw the War Chief in there, there'd just be blood baths everywhere. The point is, when they're together, they almost live for that thrill (except when the Master actually, like, died). However, I am completely unsure whether or not the Master actually cares/d about the Doctor at all. Even people who hate care, but even all the rage the Master had for the Doctor wasn't enough to consider hatred if the Master simply didn't want him out of the way.

Some of the Master's plans had been downright foolish (mostly due to story writing, trust me, the Toclafane thing would be pure genius if it wasn't for the paradox), but they would have better development without the Doctor's presence. One of the Master's plans was to halt the development of the human race by creating a war between them and the Draconians (a plan that involved the Daleks, but never reached a conclusion nor explained the Daleks' motives, basically leaving the future humans to just figure it out). Another was threatening the universe into submission by trying to control the planet that was responsible for its stabilization (which would have worked, except he destroyed a satellite dish which caused said planet, as well as many parts of the universe, to collapse). When the Master was forced into helping the Doctor fix the universe (because what's the point of controlling a universe that doesn't exist), he then proceeded to kill the Doctor by forcing him to fall, like ten, stories (see http://notdw.tumblr.com/post/91261941249/the-doctor-dances-through-life). As he evily does, he smiles and walks away. Many of schemes henceforth are attempts to kill the Doctor.

I'm sure people who hate other people at least care about them after their death and will continue to express animosity toward them even if they are the ones that caused this death. This is the reason why I feel the Master doesn't care too much about the Doctor. Once the Doctor has disposed of him, he will continue with his plans as though nothing has happened. You can argue that he saves the Doctor's life in The End of Time, but I feel it was more because of the animosity that he felt towards the Time Lords that he did so, and not because of their history as children on Gallifrey. Is it a bit of sketchy evidence? Yes. However, you do have to weigh how many times he as attempted to kill the Doctor against how he feels once he's succeeded (he nearly did, twice).

[notdw]

"Where are you going?" - Tegan “To Kill Davros.” - The Doctor “Doctor-” - Tegan “I must. Davros created the Daleks, he must not be allowed to save them.” - The Doctor “But murder…” - Tegan “Once before I held back from destroying the Daleks and it was a mistake I do not intend to repeat. Davros must die.” - The Doctor

Doctor Who - Resurrection of the Daleks (via notdw)

[notdw]

Why I Can't Render a Verdict on Dark Water

'Cause fuck Dark Water, that's why.

[notdw]

I can't

I don't think I can continue living

[notdw]

Why I Didn't Like In the Forest of the Night

1. It wasn't at night

I know it sprang up overnight, but still...

2.  Clara Osw-

GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3. Danny Pink

"Hi, I'm Danny Pink. My girlfriend lied to me about doing dangerous things with secretive men, but that's ok because I still love her. I myself care about her well-being and I care so much that I will only be slightly upset and still insist on not going along on dangerous trips to protect her."

4. Magic Trees

I'm only going to assume that solar flares burn things, meaning things burn. I am nothing close to a scientist, but I will assume that is trees burn protecting the Earth from solar flares, they will burn. They will not turn in to magical ash and sparkle away. Also, yes Doctor, people will remember a global phenomenon known as "global overnight super-forestation". There is no way scientists around the world wouldn't look into it to find results. All of Earth was a forest, even the oceans, it was a very eventful day. Screw inexplicably convenient plotholes.

5. The "Villain"

Like many episodes of the season, this episode didn't have a real villain or the villain ended up being misunderstood. The dangers of each episode focus on sort of psychological issue if drama isn't shoehorned into the episode. At this point, it's expected of the season. However, many episodes failed to deliver any sort of satisfactory ending, debunking the episode as a whole. Much of the plot of these sorts of episodes is build-up, followed by some sort of twist that makes the "enemy" less dangerous or threatening if one exists at all, and someone (usually the Doctor) basically saying that all previous events weren't as serious as originally perceived. Listen and Kill the Moon are perfect examples of this. This is also one of those episodes, where the "enemy" was this group of nano-organisms that can hardly be seen. They sounded like a force to be reckoned with and ended up just saving the day. The entire episode was rendered moot because there ended up being no danger and the episode was filled basically with emotional drama and concepts. It was silly to even perceive them as a threat (also, when are other races throughout the universe going to stop hold the human race's hand?).

6. Because it's basically Kill the Moon

Plot: Something's wrong with Earth. It is not a direct result of the planet itself doing things. Some outside force is affecting Earth. Earth is in danger of destruction and a decision is made by a small group of people contacting the people of Earth simultaneously. Turns out nothing is really wrong and Earth is safe. (Also, both put children in danger.)

Differences:

One's on Earth, one's on the moon.

One danger's a solar flare, the other the increased gravity of the moon.

One has a larger group.

Where the planet of Earth helps make the decision, the decision is already decided by the group and the planet is encouraged not to act.

[notdw]

Why I Enjoyed the Ever-Loving Fuck Out of Flatline (Late)

The only reason I wrote why I didn't like it was mostly to nitpick and to frustrate whoever reads my blog (though I'm still upset every time I make the first point). However, I loved the hell out of that episode and it is an easy contender in my personal lists for best episode of series 8 and one of the best Doctor Who episodes overall (it's early, I know, I don't care). I will tell you why:

1. Because it was bloody terrifying

I'm American, and I will say that episode was bloody terrifying. A man simply disappears and is found eventually on the wall like a picture. It starts getting interesting as I start asking myself, "What kind of Luigi's Mansion type of shit is this?" And when we delve deeper into the episode and find ourselves facing the monster, I was starting to shiver. As the policewoman was being sucked into the floor and becoming part of the floor I had to ask, "What sort of Doodlebob-ery is this?" And it scares the everliving crap out of me because being compressed has to be one of the worst ways to ever go. Being crushed or maimed would be a terrible way to die, and if I ever thought of one of my worst nightmares, it would definitely be becoming flat. Imagine how much that would hurt!! Would you even bleed!? I know that there would be nothing to feel except incomparable fear and utter gut-wrenching agony; that's losing a WHOLE dimension to you! It's how we live, how we're able to live, and there would be nothing in existence without God's (or Brahma's, or the universe's, take your pick) brilliant design (except for this two-dimensional universe, of course). To have that taken away of course spells certain death, and not much else seems more gruesome. What's worse is what these creatures left behind: a BLOW-UP of skin, a whole circulatory system, sometimes whole bodies. But when they didn't leave whole bodies behind, what they do with the rest of them? Also, did I mention all the events take place during sunlight? because it's even scarier when scary things don't happen at night!

2. Doctor Clara

I honestly don't really care, and I hate people who believe Clara's role in Doctor Who is being too augmented. I mean, I personally believe her influence in the Doctor's life is where she oversteps her boundaries, but pertaining to the show, I believe Clara's new character is something that the show needs. Because, honestly, the show can't have another Rose Tyler (redundancy), the alternative in Moffat's head is another love subplot, and do you really want another Tegan Jovanka or Peri Brown in the TARDIS? How about another Victoria (ok, maybe a more useful Victoria)? What I personally believe is that the series needs another Jamie McCrimmon, but the reasons for not implementing one adhere to rules that are far beyond antiquated at this point in time. While seeming a little too big for her britches, Clara's new character adds something new to the series overall, and her being the "Doctor" definitely brought good comedy to the episode. Even if her time is up, she won't be in the midst of "taking over" the show.

[notdw]

Why I Didn't Like Flatline (Late)

It was horrendous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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JK, but I did have some problems with it that I think needed to be addressed. 

1. Clara Oswald

Well, it's not so much Clara as it is Jenna-Louise Coleman... and her not being my wife...

2. The CGI

This one doesn't need explaining, does it?

3. The ability to manipulate dimensions

I know that the creatures were hypothesized to come from a dimension where only two exist, but there was no explanation as to how they could manipulate a dimension that they couldn't fully understand. Since they were studying the third dimension, how was it that they were able to manipulate it? It's best to learn about something before you learn how to control it (save for the Daleks when it comes to anything), so the concept is complete thrown out of sense in this case.

4. The Objective

If the two-dimensional "aliens" had a goal to take over the planet and possibly the universe (which the former was proved true), then their attempts would eventually be in vain even if they brought reinforcements. They exist in two of the three dimensional planes, they could be easily destroyed by heavy artillery. Also, what do they do with the remains of humans they don't study? They kind of ignore that completely.

5. Dimensional Energy

I haven't rewatched the episode yet (I've currently adopted a tight schedule) so I forget what it was called in the episode, but the TARDIS as well as these beings run on dimensional energy, which is fine. However, why does this energy take the form of lightning? I know this is tedious nitpicking, but isn't there another way to represent energy instead of lightning? because I feel electricity is the go-to for any sort of energy that isn't completely explicable. 

[notdw]

Nuances of Moffat's Who

I can't be the only one to notice these things, but I keep having the feeling someone at the BBC doesn't want us to actually watch Doctor Who. When it comes to the dialogue, there's a lot of whispering to the point where I have to raise the volume on my TV to levels unreasonable for normal viewing. I use the stereo to watch TV and I still can't here them. Not to mention that the whispered dialogues comprise more than half of the speech in each episode, especially in series eight.

Not only that, but some of the dialogue is confusing. Where as most speech is linear and ideas follow one another, I feel as though every conversation commences every couple of sentences. One comment or idea won't have a response until several sentences later, and two conversations can be had at the same time in any one moment. If not that, then major or minor plot points are thrown out at the audience in incomplete thoughts. While many can extrapolate from incomplete data, in television would it not be best to paint while pictures with what is being said?

In classic Doctor Who episodes, possibly either because of the lower quality of technology even thirty years ago or because of acting reasons, whispered dialogue would be rather loud despite the connotations of whispering. However, in Russell T. Davies's Who, whispered dialogue could be comprehensible despite it being lower than that of classic Who.

Either way, I'm confident that as Doctor Who moves forward, it will be harder to follow because of these approaches to either the script or the dialogue.