obey-meow

[obey-meow]

Barbatos: Hey I have a favor to ask you

Beel: Yeah what's up?

Barbatos: So there's a bottle of Drain-o-

Beel: Understood. I'll drink it

[obey-meow]

MC: I don't know how to tell you this Mams but you're in love with me

Mammon: What?

Mammon:

Mammon: Oh shit I am

Lucifer: What kind of a confession did I just witness?

[obey-meow]

Solomon: Nobody knows where I came from. I just showed up one day and started doing my thing and God was like who the hell is that I didn't invite him

[obey-meow]

MC: You use humor to deflect trauma

Mammon: Thank you!

MC: That wasn't a compliment

Mammon: What I'm hearing is you think I'm funny

[obey-meow]

Satan: Why doesn't MC find me sexy when I bite my lip?

Asmo: What do you look like when you bite your lip

Satan: *bites lip*

Asmo: ...Have you considered biting your lower lip instead?

[obey-meow]

MC: This date is so boring!

Lucifer: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store

MC: Then why did you invite me?

Lucifer: I didn't, I specifically said, "Don't come with me" Then you said, "Fuck you Luci, I'll do what I want"

[obey-meow]

Asmo: Why are you ignoring MC???

Mammon: I'm playing hard to get

Levi: Why would you do that? You're already hard to want

[obey-meow]

Solomon, in line at a coffee shop: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with uhh, seven espresso shots?

Thirteen behind him: Jesus Christ, just do cocoaine

[obey-meow]

Mammon: Guess what I'm about to get!

Lucifer: On my nerves

[obey-meow]

Asmo: 400 DEGREE WEATHER IS NOT WHAT I MEANT BY HOT GIRL SUMMER. I'M FUCKING MELTING

[obey-meow]

Lucifer, before MC arrived: Apparently, we're going to be getting someone new in The Devildom

Satan: On purpose?

Mammon: Are we stealin' them?

Asmo: New or used?

Lucifer: Wonderful responses, the lot of you

[obey-meow]

Lucifer: I once lost Satan for an entire week at the mall

Lucifer: He was living in a bookstore. He was so happy...

[obey-meow]

Mammon: Dear Diary, do you ever get sick about me talking about MC?

[obey-meow]

Belphie: I'll just use my dainty hands

Satan: You don't have dainty hands. I know this for a fact. You have the boniest, like, death grip hands. Fucking gymnast slamming into the ground hands. God help any woman you ever finger. It's a death sentence

[obey-meow]

Lucifer: What exactly are you doing?

Satan, surrounded by wild cats: Building a family

[obey-meow]

Asmo: I'm sorry to tell you this Levi, but just Standing There Ominously doesn't count as socialising

[obey-meow]

Luke: You ever feel like you're enjoying a fantastic chocolate bar or something, but then it's over too fast?

Beel: I wouldn't know, I swallow mine whole