ode-12-20-23

[ode-12-20-23]

Finally Free

Shackled! No longer

I free as the birds,I sing to the sky . So high of a bliss for you my dear ode no longer will I miss a joyous occasion for one to be free cause a man like you was never worthy of me to sweet was I for a beast like you so cruel an arrogant not wanting to believe what you showed me was you so I fought to stay even when you pushed me away ..cause I do know you care but your unavailable heart is not for me to repair . Fair well to your son's forever them I'll have love for you I will care but from the farthest of distance it will almost seem as though I never cared so goodbye ode this is the end of a journey I dragged only to end me in despair I'll cherish your memories of when you where kind. I won't regret you not even in the end of times this post on you ode will be the last of it's kind may the Lord bless you far away from my behind lol

The end.

[ode-12-20-23]

Poetic insanity

I declare, is it just my free judgement ..opinion or so I thought tip toe tap I run circles around the cracks are u my frame the foundation our heavenly father had once made? So brittle and frail the wrong wind could tumble her no me every where. A dust pan and broom, I sneezed excuse my achoo or I choose to be this dusty why not mold her in to clay a flower needs water to strengthen her day ,a droplet she pours I must be completely obscure(sigh) I once so beautiful now not can I see the mirror this image it portrays no longer recognizes…. Who was once suppose to be........me.

created by-L71198

[ode-12-20-23]

Poetic insanity

I declare, is it just my free judgement ..opinion or so I thought tip toe tap I run circles around the cracks are u my frame the foundation our heavenly father had once made? So brittle and frail the wrong wind could tumble her no me every where. A dust pan and broom, I sneezed excuse my achoo or I choose to be this dusty why not mold her in to clay a flower needs water to strengthen her day ,a droplet she pours I must be completely obscure(sigh) I once so beautiful now not can I see the mirror this image it portrays no longer recognizes…. Who was once suppose to be........me.

created by-L71198

[ode-12-20-23]

Safe to say

Hello my cheeky eyed ode , I can safely say you truly are my one and only love the space my heart carries is occupied long time by you, needless to say you are the one that got away...

I'm leaving ode , for real on Friday the thought of not being able to know your only couple thousand feet away , riddles my heart with fear my favorite sunrise and my broken sunset , saddest good bye that breathes.

I promise babe I will take care of MYSELF and my 3 proud will not suffice what u will feel when I succeed don't give up on me ..I'm worth it . Xoxo i got this!

[ode-12-20-23]

Effortlessly uninspired

Uninspired one could say, like a lily in the spring i am unbothered enough I've chosen not to blossom. Like my fellow gardenias next door, spring as circled natures of bloom and new beginnings yet I not impressed by the new comings. I shall stay in my room, ill try again next season. promised nothing but the grandest debut you could ever fathom.

-L71198

[ode-12-20-23]

Effortlessly uninspired

Uninspired one could say, like a lily in the spring i am unbothered enough I've chosen not to blossom. Like my fellow gardenias next door, spring as circled natures of bloom and new beginnings yet I not impressed by the new comings. I shall stay in my room, ill try again next season. promised nothing but the grandest debut you could ever fathom.

-L71198

[ode-12-20-23]

Silent ..for I write to you a muted muse

Where to begin suppressing what made me crippled in depression,Yet it dawns my days remembering our once joyous encounter ,now silenced in a wind of whispers where your heart roared loudly next to mine ..

I reckon this is what one would call letting go. Or you just forced a wall so high.., mount Everest seems to be a far less brutal climb with a promised top unlike you, a tower so high I cant even fathom if id ever even glimpse the other side if such theory has enough evidence to exist .

Hoax my mind screams but like big foot i see mirage and follow empty signs so circles of insanity i some what still follow crashing 90mph in to the inevitable dead end.

I know, i will see . That denial ..still withers my heart of you are gone and I've been left long ago.

So from here where do i go, I still don't know so at this stop sign in the middle of sea that was once you ill open my cheap beach chair and stare at the images of your contagious smile but cold goodbye of what was nothing more then a phase of infatuation for you but forever lasting no longer acquainted love for me I still in sections extinguish with the pieces of my broken sunsets you once made rise..

I am almost ,ok dear Ode..

From yours L71198

[ode-12-20-23]

Silent ..for I write to you a muted muse

Where to begin suppressing what made me crippled in depression,Yet it dawns my days remembering our once joyous encounter ,now silenced in a wind of whispers where your heart roared loudly next to mine ..

I reckon this is what one would call letting go. Or you just forced a wall so high.., mount Everest seems to be a far less brutal climb with a promised top unlike you, a tower so high I cant even fathom if id ever even glimpse the other side if such theory has enough evidence to exist .

Hoax my mind screams but like big foot i see mirage and follow empty signs so circles of insanity i some what still follow crashing 90mph in to the inevitable dead end.

I know, i will see . That denial ..still withers my heart of you are gone and I've been left long ago.

So from here where do i go, I still don't know so at this stop sign in the middle of sea that was once you ill open my cheap beach chair and stare at the images of your contagious smile but cold goodbye of what was nothing more then a phase of infatuation for you but forever lasting no longer acquainted love for me I still in sections extinguish with the pieces of my broken sunsets you once made rise..

I am almost ,ok dear Ode..

From yours L71198

[ode-12-20-23]

The medicine that is your breath a dose scheduled when most needed, heals me better then soup for the soul no pun intended .. oh ode how does one soul trigger such a spark ,that in mine exist only in you ?leaves me befuddled all this time loving you is my biggest challenge both gracious and sweet but can rip me to shreds at any second . Vicious, my the black mamba 😌..I’m never prepared for your strike lol..

[ode-12-20-23]

Ode oh (sigh) ode… what torment did I place upon my being letting my self lay eyes with your once available soul so far gone now .. Such a joyous encounter to a hit or miss of a hello and never really goodbye ponders me deeply . I wish you missed me as I miss you or that in my anguish you would bare to feed me a fruit so everlasting id be full a sign or well maybe even a written gesture outside of my efforts ,a spoken passage that my desires are not merely my owns but shared even in the slightest .

To carry a pinch …a pinch of this weight so help me God id know it save me from the anchor that is your forsaken script of hollowing words that float in my head like a assembled line of 10 shackled ghost to chains one for every letter that is ( Just love me) ..brutal maybe cruel of you to effortlessly say such binding never mind..

Or it could just be me . A hopeless romantic doomed the mind of an over thinker ,not being able to fathom one saying if you fall in love to just love them ,not that it ever be the same in their field of tomfoolery or wAtchma call it’s any who …

Losing sight of my train of thought of course yet again L7

I got my wish of what closure seemed to be or what I thought I needed but yet here I am today ,mush nothing but a puddle of the last bit of yesterdays winter snow before the new day melts it away ,as if it never came .

Safe to say I still love you

Shamelessly with pride I love you and I have to accept it and hope one day like the other it won’t kill me the thought of you I pray ..

[ode-12-20-23]

Feeling like spilt ink has stained my brain ,this heart of mine is yearning ..the perfect remedy for my poetic symphonies of a broken heart that wonders for a man who wonders else where . No where near my lost planes of a starving love forcefully muted in order to function in her cold dreariness that is her day with and illusion of a mere reflections of a smile ,water droplets that only make a rainbow if there’s the right setting of light this smile my facade a prison … where my love will lay to wither till the last ash of the fire you blazed in my heart yet still burns ..

[ode-12-20-23]

Broken sunsets a song made for the days I yearned you most but had to pretend to be ok.

I had many broken sunsets and rise for over 100days your distance hurt like a Iv injecting scheduled doses of anguish on purpose reminding me how much I’d really fallen in love with you, I hate yearning idk any pain great then that , that I’ve personally experienced .

Loving you the way I do should be a crime in its self .Premeditated murder ..inflicting such pain just cause you aren’t around but yet even not far that it’s embarrassing knowing your just in arms reach any who…

Little did you my ode know was that everyday passing down to the seconds I always wondered, was that you that just drove by did you see me did you think I was beautiful that day were you concerned …ect

Not one day one moment passed that I didn’t wake up and go to sleep with out you on my mind I’m sorry to be so stubborn but fighting for you was always on my agenda!

My soul was instantly drawn to you as though I known you my whole life knowing we never met ,yet so comfortably you pulled me in …me stuck like honey spilt on my new Sunday church dress on a hot summer day so sweet I thought ?…

I’m madly in love with you I can’t live this life with out you by my side I suffered everyday in agony just wanting to see your cheeky eyes and one of kind smile that can make the darkest of taverns glow white bright light I always said,you are so alluring ..your the flower to my bee the pollen that helps make my honey ,baby I admire you and love you in all the ways God made you perfect ..for me, I am just not quite ready to be yours. I know it’s me who needs to grow up to be the match to this flame waiting to burn for eternity you are my one and I will come where ever you go cause with out oxygen my fire goes out and it’s winter I need and want you to be warm with me you belong with me i suck at math but my heart always adds those numbers over and over again and you are always the final answer…

[ode-12-20-23]

Thank you

[ode-12-20-23]

To 1987-ode I hope with time the thought of your face smile and cheeky eyes stop bringing agony to my heart ,I don’t believe I deserved the cold shoulder you given me since august . If my biggest sin was loving you the way I did then so be it ..I wish I could hate you but that would just be an effortless attempt at the impossible ..I just wanted closure and you wouldn’t even do that much for me I carry a love that will never be shared yet eventually forgotten how unfair! I hope sooner than later the thought of you stops hurting and I can Barry your memories forever and forget you existed time can only hope at least

[ode-12-20-23]

Oh love our anniversary of meeting past it was the 20th I tried to see you but that was a fail due to knowing you where nothing but a few feet away as I sat at your door for 30mins hoping to see even a glimpse of you nearing your home but that was not the case . Its okay Ig I’ll try again another time hopefully this hopeful heart will fulfill its one and only desire and that’s to gaze in your cheeky eyes one last time and heal this gaping hole that has merely become a void of an incomplete love story .. I always hated cliffhangers!

[ode-12-20-23]

Would you look at that dearie, 9days from now means one year ago said time frame we started talking and became a beautiful mess I’ll never regret haha…

I know I’ve been away for sometime life as ode would say is lifeing and I’d say facts like a mofo lol.. any who

I’ve been video calling you every now and then for a few months now and to my overly hopeful expectations I prayed today would be the day you let me see your face even if it was for a few seconds boy I must be on Santa’s good list cause you answered WITH THE CAMERA AND ON (over joyed is an understatement my heart got to heal a bit in the areas that went numb and grey when you left)

Ugh ..nothing less then handsome bestowed my glimmering tired eyes I smile from here to mars and couldn’t do or feel anything but excitement and that feeling of when you missed someone for such a long time and you don’t have any hope of seeing them again and then YOU DO was the happiest feeling I’ve felt in a looong time of real joy .

Idk what made you not decline my call today but thank you not many faces make me smile just a select few my sister kids and best friend and and my kids Dad /and father that’s it , you fit in their category of people I genuinely love no matter what and can make my day just by being around or speaking just being who they are i love y’all unconditionally fr

Thank you made my day and tomorrow missing you sucks but this was perfect for what it has been I adore you human happy almost 1 year anniversary despite are issues I am grateful to have met someone like you .

You thought me a lot some took me time to understand but I never let go of all you said and tried to teach me i new eventually it circle back and I’d say hey my ode told me this or did that let me try it now and all has been beneficial thank you let’s see if I get my last wish for our 1 year to the day we opened that door to each others souls.