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[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

We’ll Always Have New Asgard

Author’s Note: The song is “We’ll Always Have Paris” by Capstan.

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I hope wherever you are, you're far

Far along, and not too far gone

I hope wherever you are, your heart

Is still carrying that spark

It had been one month since you left. Time moved slowly, incrementally, even with the help of tankards of beer that Thor kept stashed throughout his house. Alcohol blurred his emotions and the days—he wasn’t sure if it was Monday or Friday or another day in between. Thor’s life was a haze, marked only by the first and last drink of the day.

Thor functioned, but barely. He was king, but barely.

He had been your lover. Your partner. But barely.

Not that it mattered. If he was being honest, nothing really mattered anymore.

Not since you left.

You were the lightning strike

That helped me see through the starless night

So quick, brilliant and bright

Thor first met you after the snap. When the team relocated to the Avengers Headquarters in upstate New York, Thor’s veins were pulsing with fury for failing to kill Thanos. He was also inspired by his teammate’s determination to undo the worst. You were one of the survivors, a recent addition to the team who had been recruited by Natasha. Your face bore stories of heartbreak and loss, ones that Thor knew too well.

While your team worked day and night to locate Thanos, Thor sought the comfort of your company. At first, you two didn’t speak, choosing instead to watch the sun move slowly across the sky each day. Wordless. Lost in thought.

As Thor brooded over his failure, he couldn’t help but watch your compassion. The way you made sure that the team stopped working long enough to eat. The way you asked if everyone had slept or if they needed to talk. Thor wasn’t sure if you were taking care of yourself, but he could tell that you felt better when others felt better.

You had even risked the silence to ask Thor if he needed anything. Despite himself, Thor said yes: a drink and your company. You indulged with him a smile, your own drink in hand. Little did either of you that that small gesture would spark something so much bigger.

After three weeks of searching for Thanos, Thor finally went for the head. And then, with nothing left to do, he left for New Asgard, leaving everyone else behind.

You were the lightning strike

Distortion in my atmosphere

Shook me to my core

Before you suddenly disappeared

While he was at Headquarters, Natasha had given Thor a smartphone to communicate with the team. Thor wasn’t sure what to make of the tiny, beeping device, so upon his return to New Asgard, he gave it to Valkyrie. Valkyrie let Thor know whenever Natasha sent a communication checking in, and he advised her what to write. He was fine. His people were fine. Everything was fine, even if it wasn’t.

The problem was, now that there was quiet, Thor didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to rule, but his people needed him. He NEEDED to be better, to do better, but he couldn’t. But he tried. Thor showed up to council meetings and smiled widely when his people thanked him. He mingled with the remaining Asgardians in the market and made rowsing, optimistic speeches before their weekly feast in their Great Hall.

But it wasn’t the same. Behind his strength, Thor was shattering like a mirror.

Then, you came to visit.

I hope wherever you are, you're far

Far along, and not too far gone

I hope wherever you are, your heart

Is still carrying that spark

It was the one year anniversary of the snap. Thor and his people were preparing a feast in honor of the terrible milestone. The heaviness of the day weighed on Thor so horribly he almost couldn’t get out of bed. But alcohol encouraged him, as it had all year. Just a few sips to start the day. Then a bottle. Then more. He would do whatever he could to work—his people needed him.

You, Natasha, and Steve had arrived for the festival. Thor had forgotten how beautiful you were until he saw you again. It was clear that, like him, the year hadn’t been kind to you. And yet, like him, you smiled just the same.

Thor was used to performing, but even he had to admit he was excited to have old friends visit him. On the night of the feast, everyone dressed in their best Asgardian wear, you included.

You took his breath away. Thor’s frozen heart shook to life once again.

The feast was both solemn and celebratory, with flowing drinks and sumptuous meals that could feed their small town for days. For once, Thor felt giddy, like himself. As the night trekked on, he found you chatting with some Asgardians and immediately asked for your company. To his delight, you accepted.

Thor wanted to show you the world—even if it was just a slice of New Asgard. Together, you two marveled at the stillness in the stars in the night sky. He walked you through town, the Great Hall still bustling behind you, pointing out the significance of each shop. Thor’s feet even carried him to the cliffside where his father, Odin, had gone to be with his mother.

You listened to his sorrows and stories with genuity that made him feel heard for the first time in forever. You took his hand, wrapping your fingers around his, and told him a truth he never really believed, “We’ll be okay.”

Though it was brief when our paths aligned

There's a part of myself that you helped define

I'll always remember your radiant shine

A setting sun in the scarlet sky

Steve and Natasha left a few days later, but you decided to stay. It didn’t take long for you and Thor to become inseparable. You encouraged him to do and be his best. Thor replaced his ritual alcohol with coffee and determination. Time continued to tick by slowly, but he learned to relish the pace now that you were by his side.

Your smile and laugh fueled him. Your first kiss, under the night sky, reminded him that he was still a person, not just a king with duty to his people. Thor opened up to you, and you read him carefully, with compassion, healing his hurt with your words.

“I love you. We’ll be okay.”

The clouds gave way to a torrential rain

And a temperature drop

Brought on a haze so thick

Ran my blood so thin

It made my heart stop

Thor felt better, at least for a while.

Grief is poison. You were his sunlight, but Thor’s sadness still bubbled beneath him. It infected him when he least expected it—when he was holding you while you slept at night; when you cuddled up on the couch for a movie; when you two drank together with Valkyrie, Korg, and Miek. Thor didn’t know how to fight it other than to ignore it.

After a year with you, his grief began to bury him again. When he drank, he felt better. Thor could smile and rule and be the person everyone recognized him as.

But you saw through his masquerade. Every time you saw him take a drink, you encouraged him to stop. You pleaded for him to try harder, for you, as his hand gripped the bottle, but he couldn’t. Didn’t you understand? He couldn’t stop. The alcohol helped him feel better. This was fine. When he drank, everything was fine.

I hope wherever you are, you're far

Far along, and not too far gone

I hope wherever you are, your heart

Is still carrying that spark

I always wonder what could have been

But all I can do is wish you the best in the end

I know in time our wounds will mend

We all love again

With alcohol’s help, time sped up. One more year went by, then another. For three years you stuck by his side, helping him out of bed when he couldn’t move, encouraging him to get off the couch and go to his council meetings.

But grief was a monster that chased him back inside, back to the bottle.

Don’t get him wrong: Thor loved you deeply. He really did. But he could see, as time passed, that you stopped believing him when he told you. Your natural sunshine faded into a hazy fog that wouldn’t lift. You started to drink more too, as if to keep up with Thor, but you complained often about how sick and sad you felt. Physically. Mentally.

Thor was losing you. He knew it, but he couldn’t stop.

And I know that someday

Eventually

This infatuation fades

And all our wounds will mend

Days turned into weeks turned into months. Thor was in a haze. His life was happening in snapshots; he would blink and be in his chair, a game controller in hand. He would blink again and be standing in the shower, trying unsuccessfully to stand steady. Day in and day out.

Thor hadn’t even noticed that you had packed your bags and stacked them by the front door.

You were holding back tears when you sat in front of him. His vision was spinning, but quickly grounded when you held his hands gently, like you always did, and told him the truth.

“Please, Thor. I love you. I don’t know what else to do to help you. I don’t want to go, but I can’t… I can’t watch you kill yourself anymore. I’m so sorry.”

But all Thor heard was that you were giving up. You were going. His face turned to stone, and he averted his stare. Anger burned him.

You pleaded with him, “Please look at me. Say something, say anything.”

All Thor felt in that moment was shame. He was shaking his head, and without thinking, he said, “Then go. Get out. Leave!”

Shocked, you dropped his hands. Your face screwed up with tears, and you did as he asked: you left.

And I hope in some way

You found yourself

Through the doubt you overcame

We all love again

Now, Thor was stuck to his chair. He had nothing left of himself to give, even to the people he ruled. While he had immediately regretted his words, his grief wouldn’t let him make it better. So he stayed inside. He played video games until dawn. He drank, and then drank some more.

More than anything, Thor missed you. But it was too late. You were gone.

And you weren’t coming back.

I hope wherever you are, you're far

Far along, and not too far gone

I hope wherever you are, your heart

Is still carrying that spark

I always wonder what could have been

But all I can do is wish you the best in the end

I know in time our wounds will mend

We all love again

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

Keeping You Safe

It was the moment you had been waiting so anxiously for—the one that gave you trouble sleeping, even though you’d just had major surgery on your spinal cord—but Steve’s words still startled you.

“Bucky’s awake,” he said, his face white as his t-shirt. “He wants to see you.”

“Okay,” you said, your breath shaky. 

You stood slowly from your seat, but you still felt dizzy. You followed Steve like a baby duck through the brightly lit hallways in Wakanda’s incredible medical center, trying desperately to ignore the pounding of your heart. Of course, you had seen Bucky when he had first arrived—a bloody mess with a missing arm, complex wires pouring out of his socket like a waterfall. Your jaw had dropped at the sight of the love of your life unconscious and vulnerable; thankfully, Steve was there to fill you in on what happened in Siberia.

You had faith in the medical team, you thought, as you watched them swarm over Bucky’s body. After all, their team had quickly healed your spine. In fact, the last thing you remembered before waking in an unfamiliar room, surrounded by beeping machines, was the adrenaline surging through your veins as you pled unsuccessfully with the Winter Soldier to stop—to remember it was you.

But he didn’t.

You knew Bucky, your Bucky, never would have hurt you. But the Winter Soldier was a different person.

Bucky had warned you about him. When you first started dating, he admitted the truth, that his past was marred in blood. But you didn’t care—you fell in love with Bucky, the person, not Bucky, the super soldier. Still, you two made plans of what to do “just in case.” Just in case HYDRA found him and you needed to up and move. Always together, that was the plan.

But neither of you expected Vienna, nor everything that came after. By the time Bucky realized he was being framed, it was too late. He begged you to go without him, but you couldn’t leave him behind. So you stole a car and drove to Berlin… 

And ran into the Winter Soldier.

You had snapped his name to get his attention. “Bucky!” But the Soldier looked right through you, like you weren’t even there. He charged at you, his face full of fury and determination, and grabbed you by the neck, his fingers crushing your windpipe. He threw you into the nearest table; it happened so quickly, so forcefully, you couldn’t orient yourself. Pain pulsed through your body, but you wanted so badly to get through to him.

“Bucky, please,” you pleaded with him, but his blank eyes didn’t show an ounce of sympathy. “It’s me. I love you.”

Love didn’t mean a thing to the Soldier. He picked you up again and threw you hard against the wall. And everything went black.

Anxiety from the memory bubbled up into your throat. And now, you tried not to panic as you saw Bucky sitting on an exam table, a black cap covering his amputation. His face told stories of sadness, of damage—ones you knew all too well from your years hiding together in Bucharest. Beneath all of his pain, you could see his goodness—and to you, that was all that mattered.

“Go ahead,” Steve nodded towards the door.

You took a deep breath and grabbed the door handle. A dull ringing in your ears grew louder as you wondered what he wanted to say—really, what you would say.  

Despite being surrounded by glass walls, the room felt quiet and private. Bucky looked up when he heard the door open. He shot you a sad, but somewhat grateful, smile.

You couldn’t help yourself—you wrapped your arms tightly around Bucky, and he pressed his head into your neck, burrowing into you.

“Bucky,” you breathed, inhaling his familiar scent. “I’m so glad you’re okay. I love you so much.”

“I love you, Y/N,” he said into your neck; his words nearly made you melt.

When you finally parted, you could see his eyes were red with tears, mimicking your own. You smiled sheepishly and wiped them from your face.

“I was so worried,” you said with a sniffle. “I had no idea what happened. When I woke up, I was here, and no one knew where you went, and…”

“It’s okay,” he said calmly, in the same voice he used when you realized you’d forgotten an important ingredient at the grocery store or when you had a panic attack in the middle of the night—the voice that kept you safe. 

You nodded, overwhelmed by your relief and sadness. Bucky’s eyes lingered on the bruise around your neck, and he stiffened at the recognition that he had done that to you. 

You instinctively touched it as if to cover it up. You stammered, “I’m okay, I promise. The medical team here is amazing. I feel great, actually.”

Bucky didn’t speak; he bit his lip, trying to form words, but she knew he was thinking that nothing could ever make up for what he did.

“I know,” you said sadly. “But you didn’t hurt me. The Winter Soldier did.”

“I knew it was you,” Bucky blurted. “I knew… I heard you, I saw you. But I couldn’t…”

He trailed off. You touched his hand to be reassuring, but he pulled away.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. That’s why I…”

It felt like you couldn’t get enough air; you were starting to feel dizzy. What was he trying to say?

You prompted, “Why you what, Bucky?”

He nodded at the spot behind you. When you turned, you saw it for the first time: a cryo chamber. Your breath caught in your throat.

“No,” you said desperately, your voice breaking. “You can’t. Bucky, you’re safe here. We’re safe here. You don’t need to.”

“Everything HYDRA put inside me is still there,” he countered. “All he had to do was say those words. I can’t risk that happening again, Y/N.”

“No,” your voice shook so hard it might rock the room. But Bucky’s eyes stayed firmly on yours; he gently took your hand and rubbed his thumb over your knuckles to calm you. “Please, Bucky. You can’t… I just got you back.”

Quiet. You stared desperately at him, tears clouding your vision, while he rubbed your hand.

Finally, Bucky said, “Shuri thinks she can get the words out of my head. So it won’t be forever. It may just take some time.”

“How long?”

“I don’t know.”

If he thought he was making you feel better, he was wrong. You shook your head; could you even change his mind?

“I almost killed you, Y/N,” Bucky said seriously. His tone snapped you out of your stupor, and you met his intense blue eyes. “If there’s a chance of that happening again, even 1%, I can’t risk it.”

“It won’t,” you said defiantly.

But he quickly disagreed, “Y/N, please. I’m doing this because I love you. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but it’s the only way I can keep you safe.”

To keep you safe… Because he loves you… It seemed contradictory for him to leave you when you needed him.

But then again, you could see the pain in his eyes. How badly he was hurting. 

If you didn’t let him do this, what did that make you? Not his partner, the person he can trust. Yes, it would be hard to be without him, but you could do it, right? You would wait for him.

You took a deep breath. Maybe his decision wasn’t all about you and what you needed. Maybe he was trying to keep himself safe. Maybe this is what Bucky needed. And if you loved him…

You could let him go. For now.

“Okay,” you said finally, sadly. “Okay.”

Bucky’s face broke out in relief. His eyes reddened with tears, and he pulled you into a tight embrace.

“I love you so much,” he said. “When I found out I hurt you, I almost… I didn’t…” 

“I love you too,” you said. You kissed the side of his head, trying to remember the way his hair felt beneath your hand. “I love you so much.”

You stood in his embrace, hearing his breath shuddering beneath you, for what felt like an eternity. But, even an eternity wouldn’t be long enough to say goodbye.

More than anything, you wanted him to feel peace. So you told him softly, “I’m going to be okay, Bucky. I promise. And I’ll be right here when you’re done.”

“I love you,” he said again. He could say it a million times and it would never get old.

After a few moments, you heard the door open; Steve and a medical team walked in. Bucky separated from you, hastily wiping his eyes.

“I’ll stay with you,” you told him. Bucky nodded gratefully.

“It’s time,” a medical team member said.

Bucky gave you one last embrace before hugging Steve, who patted his back in support. It only took a few steps for Bucky to enter the thin chamber and for the tube to enclose him.

“Take a deep breath,” the medical team member instructed.

Bucky closed his eyes and followed instructions. And just like that, he was gone.

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

I have a request for Doctor Who! The reader is dating the Doctor (10) and she has a YouTube channel. She introduces the Doctor to it and explains she finds abandoned places to explore for them. She takes the Doctor to an abandoned place she’s been wanting to film for a long time. It was an abandoned prison. When they find their way in, they can’t make their way to the second floor. The Doctor suggests to end the video there but she doesn’t give up. She jumps up and catches onto the railing.

(cont’d) The Doctor watches her as she pulls herself up. He was impressed by her upper body strength and had no idea how strong she was. They soon end the adventure and the next day, the video got the most views than any other of her videos.

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

When Steve returned the Soul Stone, he saw Natasha dead on the ground?

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

You sought refuge in New Asgard after the snap? You didn’t know anyone, so Valkyrie took you under her wing.

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

You were the only one who could console George when Fred had died?

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

You and Thor spent the five years after Thanos died drinking and partying together? You two were a hot mess together, but you relied on each other for emotional support while you were grieving.

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

Whenever you weren’t feeling well, Bucky would dote on you?

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if…

The first thing Loki did after stealing the tesseract is look for you?

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

Bucky hadn't fallen from the train and returned from the war to you--eagerly wanting to start your lives together.

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

The first thing Loki did after stealing the tesseract is look for you?

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

During down time at the compound you taught Bucky how to play video games? Imagine your surprise when he quickly whoops your ass in Mario Kart.

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

After Steve retires, you take Bucky under your wing and help him navigate present times?

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

You and Natasha had been in a long term relationship? When you found out she died, you were devastated. You were furious with Clint for letting her go, but you knew deep down he couldn’t have stopped her.

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

When he got out of the quantum realm and found Cassie, Scott searched for you?

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

You and Sam always made time for date night while you were in hiding with Steve and Natasha?

[oh-the-things-we-will-imagine]

What if...

After the events of Civil War, and realizing how close he was to almost losing his life with you, Bucky proposes? Once you settle into life in Wakanda, you and he get married in a small ceremony with Steve, Natasha, Sam, and T’Challa present.