onebadpunspoilsabunch

[onebadpunspoilsabunch]

Funny translations of this dialogue:

[onebadpunspoilsabunch]

I had last night a dream where I was on the pirating site I usually go to, and I found that there were 7 seasons of the Spectacular Spider-Man, and I was like “what? How long have these been here?” And I decided to binge watch them with my mom while poorly explaining the characters to her. The episodes got weirder and weirder as they went on, some of them being a mix of live action and animation. 

Some of the highlights: 

Doctor Octopus fights Captain America at one point

Shocker finds out Peter Parker is Spider-Man, but he's like “I'm not gonna kill you cause I have a no killing kids policy, now get your ass out"

Mysterio puts on a play at Peter's high school 

There was an episode that was like a parody of Law and Order starring the two cop characters 

At the end of the season the inmates of Ravencroft are being interviewed, and Cletus Kasady gives an overdramatized and highly fictional version of his childhood and Eddie Brock looks like he wants to punch him

Well, after I woke up I went to watch TV and wished I could go to an alternate universe where the show never got canceled. 

Here's my obligatory I Hate Disney comment: I hate you Disney. 

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I oddly respect him for that. I don't know why, because that's horrible 😅

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Ok, so… I was doing research on the behind the scenes stuff for Mulan 2 and Brother Bear 2 just to like, get ideas on how to rewrite them. Just look:

Man, if they went with this story instead, that would've been hard-core. It would've been awesome. Why did they throw that away?

I guess they would've needed to change the title to Brother Moose then 

This is very sad news. I totally understand the reason why though.

Didn't I make this joke when I was shitting on Disney's live action remakes? Wasn't I like, “imagine if it ends with Kenai leaving Koda and going back to the humans?” I may not be a fan of this sequel, but at least Disney had the common sense back then to be like, “hm, maybe… maybe splitting up the family and ruining the whole point of the original… maybe… maybe that's cringe, and we shouldn't do it.”

And now look at them 😅 Drowning in their cringe.

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Disney Direct to DVD sequels 

(It's been years since I've watched some of these, so I don't even remember everything that happens in them. My thoughts could change if I rewatched them.)

Direct to DVD sequels I don't mind being canon:

The Aladdin ones

The Winnie the Pooh ones

The Lion King ones

An Extremely Goofy Movie

101 Dalmatians 2

The Lilo & Stitch ones

Tarzan 2

Cinderella 3

Bambi 2

The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginning

Direct to DVD sequels where I really don't care if they're canon or not:

The Beauty and the Beast ones

The Little Mermaid 2

Lady and the Tramp 2

Cinderella II

Tarzan & Jane

Atlantis: Milo's Return

Kronk's New Groove

Direct to DVD sequels I don't want to be canon:

Pocahontas 2 (the first movie shouldn't exist either, lol)

The Hunchback of Notre Dame 2

Mulan 2

Brother Bear 2

The Fox and the Hound 2

If Disney were to retcon THOND 2, Mulan 2, and Brother Bear 2 from being canon, then I might consider forgiving them for their sins. Ok, not really, but… I'd be happy. 

Notice the main thing these three have in common: they all feel the need to give characters from the first film a love interest. There are some sequels where I don't mind that, but for these three… ew. It's unnecessary. 

Wouldn't it have been great if Yao, Ling, and Chien Po realized they didn't need a girl to be happy, and they were already happy together? That's a good lesson to teach people. And it would tie into the first movie's theme of defying social norms by them refusing to get hitched up, lol.

And, like, why did Kenai need a girlfriend? I get what they were going for, the idea of the fear of siblings losing their bond once one of them gets a romantic partner. It ties into the themes of sibling love, but… did they have to give him a girlfriend 😅 That's so lame. Why can't it just be Kenai and Koda? Why we gotta add someone else to the mix?

Now I wanna rewrite Mulan 2 and Brother Bear 2. I don't know how you can rewrite THOND 2, since the first movie feels like a one and done thing. Any ideas on that one?

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I recently became obsessed with the Spectacular Spider-Man again, and I collected as many screenshots of Shocker/Montana as I could find and put them on his page in the Villain wiki. That's what hyperfixating on a character does to you.

Just for context, there were only like 5 pics on his page before the hyperfixation started.

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I've only seen enough episodes of the Lion Guard in order to understand the basic storyline and characters, but…

Does anyone else think that TLG should've been a regular show, and not a Disney Junior show?

Imagine if it were a regular show on the network, meaning it would be allowed to have the same, or at least close enough tone/character writing as the movies. But it couldn't, because it's a show on the goddamn baby network. 

Which makes me wonder… why did they choose it be be on the baby network anyway? Why not make it a regular show?

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Live action Hercules is gonna end with Hercules choosing to stay with the gods.

Live action Brother Bear is gonna end with Kenai choosing to go back to the humans. 

Live action Meet the Robinsons is gonna end with Lewis choosing to meet his biological mother.

Live action Frozen is gonna end with Elsa choosing to stay in isolation. 

Live action Encanto is gonna end with Mirabel gaining a magical gift from the Miracle. 

Alright, who else am I missing?

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Imagine if Disney went bankrupt tomorrow. Would people actually mourn them, or is everyone just... past the point of caring for them.

I guess Disney Adults (the stupid ones, anyway) would become depressed. The average person would be slightly sad since they grew up with Disney, but they probably wouldn't care that much. The older Disney content still exists for people, after all.

I think the sad people who are chronologically online (aka me) would throw a celebration for the death of Disney, since those people are the ones who are fully aware of how evil Disney is.

Which is really... really... sad.

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Another thing about modern Disney that annoys me is that every single film since Tangled has to have the same fucking art style. It wasn't bad in the beginning, but it's gotten so old now.

Notice that not every single 2d animated film they made has the same art style. 

And their early cgi films didn't have the same art style either.

Disney is so weak now, in more ways than one. What did Bob Iger do...

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Spike's six new dragon friends!

These are characters from G1, and I decided to imagine them as G4 characters.

In my au, after Spike became the friendship Ambassador to the Dragon Lands, Ember asked him to make occasional appearances as a guest teacher to dragons his own age, believing they'll relate to him better. Six of his students grow attached to him. 

Flash and Fiery are twins. They're Garble's cousins. 

Smoky is Fume's cousin. 

Prickles is “Snake's” brother.

Sparks is Cinder's sister. 

Spiny is… a mystery. But, he does look an awful lot like Spike, doesn't he…

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The scene from the Journal of the Two Sisters, where young Celestia confronts the dragon that stole the Crystal Heart.

My headcanon is that this dragon is Burnferno, aka Spike's father.

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Bray the Donkey!

In my au of the show, Cozy Glow is replaced by a donkey named Bray. Bray is based on the G1 character. She's a girl in this version because Cozy Glow is a girl, and because in the same way Grogar is a villainous foil to Twilight Sparkle, she's a villainous foil to Spike.

Bray is Grogar's sidekick/assistant/adopted child. Grogar only took Bray in because he just needed an assistant. 

After Gusty the Great stole and hid the Bewitching Bell, Grogar and Bray decided to go into hiding.

Grogar had performed a spell on the both of them to increase their lifespan. The two of them spent centuries spying on Equestria, biding their time.

In the present day, Bray decided to try to take over Equestria on her own. Part of her motivation for stealing Equestria's magic is because it's her twisted way of putting every creature on the same level, and part of it is to prove herself to Grogar. 

After Bray is defeated, she isn't locked up in Tartarus. She's put in a mental institution until Grogar breaks her out in season 9.

Her personality is essentially the same as Cozy's, except she's also awkward like her G1 counterpart.

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Hey... who wants to bet John Silver doesn't get redeemed in the live action Treasure Planet 🤣

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Is it just me, or does modern Disney seem to have a disdain toward anything made pre-2010s?

Like, they will not hesitate to use those things in order to nostalgia bait people and trick them into still caring. But there’s no real respect.

Modern Disney treats anything pre-2010s as “outdated”. My theory is this:

I think it's partially Bob Iger's fault, and partially the internet's fault. During the internet's early days, things like Buzzfeed, Cinema Sins, Nostalgia Critic, etc etc liked to make a bunch of one-dimensional, bad faith criticisms/jokes against Disney movies and tropes. Iger apparently took those dumb criticisms seriously, not because he actually cares about potentially offending certain idiotic people, but because he believes if people are offended, people will stop giving money. 

Why do you think so many modern Disney films (Frozen, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Strange World, etc) go out of their way to mock older Disney tropes? But not in a fun way, in a pretentious “we're better than those older Disney movies. Look at how modern we are!” way? Obviously not everything from older Disney aged well, but there's a reason why most people gravitate towards those movies more. You could say it's purely out of nostalgia, but I was in elementary/middle school during the 2010s, and I gravitate towards older Disney movies more. And there’s obviously nothing wrong with gravitating towards modern Disney movies more, we all have our own preferences. My beef is with the assholes that run the company and disrespect Disney's legacy. 

That's probably one of the reasons why people loved Once Upon a Studio so much. It was the first time in forever where Disney actually respected its legacy, instead of just using it to nostalgia bait people. They could've just CGIed all the characters and included only the most profitable franchises, which is what you expect from modern Disney. But they actually tried 🤣

Anyway… I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said by everyone and their mama, and their mama's pet parrots, and the fleas on those parrots. I've been thinking about this stuff for a while. 

After seeing the live action Lilo & Stitch… well, I finally decided to let it out because... they broke me :D

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Baby Bear Tries to be Friends with Baby Deer!

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*very emblematic of disney sanitizing the fuck out of stitch.