parody-of-itself

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This was my second post ever and tbh its also where I peaked

“So let me get this straight...”

me, waiting for him to hand me my croissant:  please don’t

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Gamers are the most oppressed food group

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the hallway was invented in 1857 by Enrico Hall and Richard P. Way when they tried to build multiple rooms right next to each other but ran out of walls

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america is like gandhi if Gandhi liked anime and had a really really dope hairline

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found it six months later, no thanks to you people.

Y’all ever see that one picture where George Bush is holding up a trading card while a zebra rides a giraffe in the background?

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I dont get it

*beep*  “Sorry, had to take that... You were saying?”

me:  oh, I know you did NOT just hang up on ME!

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They’re telling me I already know too much...

ok everyone it’s time to create the perfect tumblr post let’s brainstorm some ideas

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Get U a man what can do both 😫😍🤫

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So I was looking through my real old blog posts and found the tag “#yummy in my rumblerhecking tummy” and I’m not sure how to feel about that.

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You: Tater Tots

Me, an intellectual: I N F A N T A T O E S

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My naem Skeltal

I’m am spook.

I liv in u

Liek snaek in boot.

Your skin will quench

My crave to feed.

Soon I’ll escape

This cage of meat!

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Yeah, well SOME of us don’t qualify for all 66 months of the 0% APR!

gay people: wave and fly the rainbow flag during pride month

cishets: UMMMMMM wHeReS tHe StRaIgHt PrIdE fLaG???????????

me, a lesbian, here to bring you hets some good news: here’s your flag!

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Run.

wh

what should i do

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I hear T H E S L U R P...

remember to drink water today!!!!!!!!! because if you don’t drink water

the water will drink you

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I simply must know whether this means my teeth have feet or my toes have mouths

ok everyone it’s time to create the perfect tumblr post let’s brainstorm some ideas

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“‘(Thing) be like *action*’ jokes be like *being told noises*”

-‘(Thing) be like *action’ joke-teller