patheticmenscuffle

[patheticmenscuffle]

Welcome to Matt Bracket!

Have you ever wanted to see your favorite Matts fight it out? If so, then this is the place for you! Rules for submitting are under the form link.

Here are your rules for submitting:

1. Your character’s first name MUST be a form of Matt. This includes Matt, Matthew, Matthias, and any other form of the name. Asks will be open if you have any questions about other forms of the name!

2. No Harry Potter and no Dream SMP.

3. Real people are allowed, however they have a much lower chance of getting in than fictional characters.

4. Submit as many characters as you want, just don’t submit the same character over and over again.

5. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have through the ask box!

6. Submissions will end on Sunday, August 6. Date is subject to change if I end up being busy that day.

Also: Do NOT submit these characters. They are guaranteed to make it in no matter what.

Matt (Wii Sports)

Matt (Eddsworld)

Matt (me, the pollrunner) [i don’t expect to get very far but i just thought it’d be funny]

Matt Neff (Papa Louie)

Tags of inspiration below:

@orangecharactersmackdown @obscurecharactershowdown @artificialkids-2k23-official @robot-riot @retirement-home-rumble @hot-take-tournament @every-character-ever-poll @super-smash-bracket @patheticmenscuffle @generic-man-in-suit-battle @cut-content-contest @dwampyverse-tournaments @evil-doppelganger-duel @favcharacterpoll @ferbracket @i-mustache-your-opinion @top-teacher-tourney @john-battle @michaeltournament @throat-goat-gauntlet @the-worst-bracket @themiiofalltime @videogamedogbracket @weird-al-song-tourney

and also @blue-character-brawl @facial-hair-fight @jamesbracket and @steve-smackdown because they’re all me. i really like doing name polls lmao

[patheticmenscuffle]

Welcome to STEVE SMACKDOWN!!!

This is the place for all your favorite characters named Steve to fight! Rules listed below the Google Form.

Rules about submitting:

1. Your character must be named Steve in some way. This includes: Steve, Steven, Stephen, Stefan, Stefano, Stevie, and Steph. Asks will be open and if anyone has any other form of Steve, they can ask if it’s okay.

2. No DreamSMP or Harry Potter characters.

3. Real people are allowed. However, they have a much lower chance of getting in, in favor of fictional characters.

4. You can submit multiple characters, just don’t send in the same character multiple times in a row.

5. Submissions will end one week from now on July 18, at 1:00 PM EST.

6. If you have any questions, send me an ask!

Quick side note: Do not submit these 4 characters as they’re already guaranteed to make it into the tournament.

1. Steve (Minecraft)

2. Steve (Wii Sports)

3. Steve (Blue’s Clues)

4. Steel Vengeance (Cedar Point) [Commonly abbreviated to SteVe by rollercoaster enthusiasts like myself]

Tags of inspiration under the cut:

@orangecharactersmackdown @obscurecharactershowdown @artificialkids-2k23-official @throat-goat-gauntlet @cut-content-contest @corrupt-officials-brawl @ultimate-poll-tournament @john-battle @best-bff-brawl @redcharacterbracket @retirement-home-rumble @best-bff-brawl @unlikely-adversaries-bracket @dwampyverse-tournaments @evil-doppelganger-duel @favcharacterpoll @ferbracket @generic-man-in-suit-battle @i-mustache-your-opinion @patheticmenscuffle @super-smash-bracket @siblingshowdown @the-worst-bracket @themiiofalltime @tournament-winners-tournament @videogamedogbracket @weird-al-song-tourney @worst-room-tournament

and also @blue-character-brawl @facial-hair-fight @jamesbracket and (the now defunct) @unluckiest-character-ever because they’re all me

[patheticmenscuffle]

It's bug time.

Inspired by the inimitable @ultimate-rat-bracket, I raise you another Bastard Animal to fight over: bugs. (For the purpose of this competition, "bugs" will extend beyond the order Hemiptera and will include anything that Seems Like A Bug.)

Some quick ground rules:

All submissions must be, in a physical way, bugs. No cute anime girls with antennae, no humans with "bug energy", just straight-up bugs.

I shouldn't have to say this, but by following this blog, you consent to seeing pictures of bugs on your dashboard. If you don't want to see bugs, don't follow.

If using someone else's art to accompany your submission, make sure you have permission to use it.

Don't be a dick. No spamming submissions, no angry messages if your submission doesn't make it into the bracket, no anti-propaganda, etc.

Both the definition of "bug" and the scope of the contest are being kept deliberately vague. Interpret it however you want!

Tournament tags:

@retirement-home-rumble @scrunkly-tournament @toxic-mothers-tourney @patheticmenscuffle @silly4sillypoll @underrated-adversaries @adhdvsautismbracket @the-mouse-joust

[patheticmenscuffle]

WE HAVE OUR WINNER!!!

Congratulations to Harry du Bois from Disco Elysium being crowned tumblrs' most PATHETIC MAN!!!!

We've had some incredible competitors these past few months and its been great seeing who y'all would agree is truly the MOST pathetic man.

Until next time!

-Mod Knight & Mod Dragon

[patheticmenscuffle]

Submissions open!

Feel free to send in your battle OST submissions now! For FAQ check out pinned post.

>>Submission form: link<<

Rules

Only Submit Battle OSTs! A battle OST is a song that plays while you battle someone or something (Pokemon, Pokemon Trainer, Boss, etc.) in the game.

Game OSTs only! Both mainline series and spin-offs are accepted (Mystery Dungeon, Ranger games, mobile games etc.). No anime OSTs! If an OST has an anime version but it debuted as a game OST, you can submit it.

Please write out the actual name of the song if you can! (e.g. "vs Dialga/Palkia"✅"that one song that plays when you battle a grunt in Moon"❌)

One version of an OST for the entire tournament! If an OST has multiple versions, only the most submitted one will be admitted into the tournament. This is to prevent over saturation of OSTs that have many versions.

If your OST has multiple versions, please specify which one you are nominating (e.g. "vs Blue from B2W2"✅"vs Red"❌). If you do not specify which version you are nominating, it will be considered a nomination for the original version of the song.

OSTs will be admitted per popularity, not first come first serve.

Propaganda section is optional, but recommended to fill out if you want to sway people to your side! If there's multiple propaganda submissions for an OST, one will be picked at random.

No YT, Spotify or other links. I will find links to the songs myself when I make the bracket!

[patheticmenscuffle]

Gilear my boy I knew this is how it would go but just know you are the most pathetic in my heart!

He fought that good fight!! He beat Jon Sims and I think thats an achievement for him for sure!!

Though surely, losing at the pathetic men contest says something.

-Mod Knight

[patheticmenscuffle]

Welcome to the Unluckiest Character Ever tournament!

In this tournament, we will be figuring out who the unluckiest character in all of fiction is! Are bad or unlucky things constantly happening to your favorite blorbo? This is the tournament for them! However, unlike a normal tournament, the characters who LOSE each poll will get to move on!

Here’s some rules

1. No real people. Live action and YouTube series (like Scott the Woz) are acceptable however.

2. Nothing Harry Potter. Please.

3. Submit as many characters as you want! However, don’t submit the same character 20 times in a row.

4. Submissions will end on June 8. Make sure to get your submissions in before that!

Quick note, these 5 characters will be in the tournament automatically, so please do not submit them:

Charlie Brown (Peanuts)

Abe Lincoln (Clone High)

Rigby (Regular Show)

Milo Murphy (Milo Murphy’s Law)

Ryan (Wii Sports)

[Tags of inspiration]:

@artificialkids-2k23-official @orangecharactersmackdown @obscurecharactershowdown @ultimate-poll-tournament @dwampyverse-tournaments @basic-white-man-in-suit-battle @cut-content-contest @evil-doppelganger-duel @favcharacterpoll @john-battle @least-sexy-man-competition @michaeltournament @nintendo-rpg-characters-2023 @patheticmenscuffle @redcharacterbracket @super-smash-bracket @the-worst-bracket @theultimatetournament @wizardbracket @yellowcharactershowdown

and also @blue-character-brawl @facial-hair-fight and @jamesbracket because those are my other blogs. i’m opening up submissions for this one while jamesbracket’s finale is going on

[patheticmenscuffle]

Stay humble, everybody o7

- Mod Dragon

[patheticmenscuffle]

Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium): “Please. please. pelase just let him win One Thing for the lvoe of god pela s e”

Gilear Faeth (Fantasy High (Dimension 20)): “how lame and pathetic he is is LITERALLY his whole schtick and i love him for it”

[patheticmenscuffle]

perhaps Final bit of Harry propaganda which I don't think counts as spoilers bc you can get this rlly early in the game, but. Another reason why Harry is so pathetic:

The fact that Sorry Cop exists [screenshots yoinked from my own playthrough. sidenote Losing my mind over these screenshots they're so funny]

Ohh constantly apologizing for no reason sets off my little pathetic man alarm bells

- Mod Dragon

[patheticmenscuffle]

Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium): “Please. please. pelase just let him win One Thing for the lvoe of god pela s e”

Gilear Faeth (Fantasy High (Dimension 20)): “how lame and pathetic he is is LITERALLY his whole schtick and i love him for it”

[patheticmenscuffle]

Gilear propaganda:

When asked to look into a mirror and say nice things about himself he couldn't come up with anything.

He got banned from the county fair because, instead of getting on an actual carousel horse, he accidentally sat on a centaur who worked there.

His car got repossessed by the ride share app he worked for before getting fired, and was forced to walk home.

When he was working as the lunch lad at his daughter's high school (he originally wanted the position of councilor, but that was taken by a drug dealing werewolf who everyone likes so much more than him) he was constantly belittled and bullied by students and staff alike. For example, he was wedgied by the principal in front of several students. The principal was invisible for this and got in no trouble for it.

He got caught in the wheel well of the van his daughter and her adventuring party were driving, and they didn't notice he was missing until they arrived at the next destination, with an apple in his mouth and pissed pants.

Some quotes from the man.

"[The city bus driver] said, and I quote, he'd 'stomp my goon ass' if I ever got on his bus again."

"Another own goal for Gilear Faeth."

"I am okay with the fact that I have to be mind controlled to make me like me."

"If I am needed I will be suprised."

"I'm not allowed to break my lease. My landlord's adult son threatened to kick my ass."

"My best tends to decrease in value each passing day of my immortal life."

"An incredible dunk on me by my own daughter in my lowest moment..."

"What I'm saying is: I dont think I'm going to be the guy, the guy, ever in my life."

God he really just gets berrated all the time huh

-Mod Knight

[patheticmenscuffle]

Since time immemorial, humanity has always wondered: why do women look so fucking good in suits? While I will not seek to answer that here, this blog is dedicated to finding the most handsomest woman in media, and more importantly, appreciating all the GNC, butch, masc, and other handsome women out there!

Rules

No real people, please! (Fictional depictions of historical figures are fine.)

This should go without saying, but this tournament is intended for masculine and androgynous women. While I deeply appreciate your femme blorbos, this isn't the place for them.

Butch/etc transfem characters are absolutely allowed! TERFs aren't wanted here.

You may make more than one submission, but you may only make one submission per character. I don't want to be spammed.

Propaganda is allowed and in fact encouraged, but be nice! Keep it focused on praising your character of choice, not knocking the other one down.

Got it? Good! Now you're ready to send in your submissions!

Tagging other tournaments since I gather that's common practice. Apologies if you don't want to be tagged, and if you want to be removed, lmk

@powerpolyculeshowdown @faceless-face-off @adhdvsautismbracket @tnt-tourney @patheticmenscuffle @ultimate-rat-bracket @who-do-i-know-this-man @italian-tournament @battleoftheicyfreaks @scrunkly-tournament

[patheticmenscuffle]

got a character you can’t stop thinking about? a character who lives in your brain rent free? submit them to the ULTIMATE SCRUNKLY SHOWDOWN

rules:

play nice. anti-propaganda is allowed, but keep it lighthearted. no personal attacks.

characters can be from any media, but no real people.

submit as many characters as you like, but no duplicate submissions!

characters can be any gender of scrunkly: wet cat, himbo, girlboss, disaster, evil, and anything in between

submissions will close once i’ve got a reasonable number of submissions. this post will be updated as the tournament goes on

tags under the cut

@tournamentdirectory @ghostpolls @spoilerbracket @fuck-you-upmusicbracket @adhdvsautismbracket @who-do-i-know-this-man @patheticmenscuffle @tnt-tourney

[patheticmenscuffle]

A tie would be the funniest possible outcome. Neither of them win they both loose.

Genuinely said like an hour ago I hope they both lose heart emoji out loud, chanelling this anon

-Mod Knight

[patheticmenscuffle]

Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium): “Please. please. pelase just let him win One Thing for the lvoe of god pela s e”

Gilear Faeth (Fantasy High (Dimension 20)): “how lame and pathetic he is is LITERALLY his whole schtick and i love him for it”

[patheticmenscuffle]

Well, this is it. We've reached the summit. Only two contestants remain, and only one will emerge triumphant. Who will be the Most Pathetic Man?

Our final matchup is:

Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein) vs Harry du Bois (Disco Elysium)

To celebrate our favorite failures, I've got one last Biggest Loser award to give out: congratulations to Victor Frankenstein, pulling in a measly 40.9% against Harry du Bois! It seems that Dracula Daily's annual return didn't bring new life to THIS classic novel's chances.

We in the mod team would like to give a grand thank you to everyone who's participated so far, and good luck to Gilear Faeth and Harry du Bois!