pet-a-cactus

[pet-a-cactus]

I’ve been suspecting that I am on the autism spectrum, and the more I think about it, the more it fits. There are so many clues and so many things that makes sense, that I had to write it down somewhere so I can get them out of my head for a bit. So. Here goes.

It started with a non serious comment from my mother. Something like, if you truly think that, you are autistic. Pff. As if autistic is something you can just suddenly chose to be. It got me thinking though. And I started making the links.

I have always had struggles reading the room. A bit oblivious when others are angry at me, especially when I get into trouble. It’s always been a thing since I was a child in elementary. I’m an adult now, and this problem still get me into trouble.

I have trouble sympathizing with others. I remember feeling horrified that when I heard the news of my family member getting seriously hurt or even passing, I genuinely feel nothing. (I still cried, but it’s mostly because others are crying, and I get influenced by atmosphere very greatly). I don’t know what’s wrong with me and that makes me scared that I’m a bad person.

I recently realized that even as an adult, I sometimes still have childish behavior in public places, like I could suddenly get the urge to repeat an vocal stim for a while before I realize I’m in the mall and making funny noises.

I’ve always needed something like a fidget toy to stay focus. I don’t have an actual fidget toy so I usually use things like clay or the little balls you make from the eraser crumbs

My older cousin on my father’s side has some mental disorders. Might very likely be autism although I’m not sure. She has the official mental disorder id thing. I’m not sure what’s the proper name for it.

my younger cousin also on my father’s side also displayed some autistic straights as a kid. She used to be known in the family for being that one kid who can memorize all the family members name at an young age.

now. I’m not planning to get myself diagnosed or tested, but I feel like it’s very possible I’m on the spectrum. Definitely not at much as my older cousin, but to some degree I think.

okay. Gotta go to bed now. Will come back to add more if there’s more.

[pet-a-cactus]

When the fuck did i post this why do I not remember posting this at all 😭

I was probably sleep-deprived lol rip

This isn’t a sex thing, but I think I would make a great service dog

[pet-a-cactus]

Happy Ace Day!!

Art by dragondoodleart on Instagram.

[pet-a-cactus]

One of us! One of us!

Literally so proud of her!! 🖤🩶🤍💜 And coming out as aspec on International Asexuality Day is so badass I'm so happy for her!

[pet-a-cactus]

Here are some ace trinkets I made myself today!

The necklace is made out of air clay, and the cake is made from thermoplastic beads painted over :)

Happy ace day!

Happy Ace day!

[pet-a-cactus]

HAPPY ACE DAY! 🖤🩶🤍💜

Look what I found in the depths of my phone. Happy ace day to you all♡

[pet-a-cactus]

🥳🥳😄😄

It's time

[pet-a-cactus]

Happy Asexual Visibility Day 2025 to all my fellow aces! 💜

[pet-a-cactus]

Cats!

happy international asexuality day!

have a cat :)

[pet-a-cactus]

🖤🩶🤍💜

Happy International Asexuality Day!

Feels like a good time to remind everyone that we exist, and asexual representation matters! Little thirteen-year-old me would have had a much easier time discovering her identity if there had been a greater variety of available resources and conversations about Asexuality. I'm very grateful for the small amount of YouTube videos (highly reputable sources, lol) that were out there, at the time, that helped me discover that Asexuality was "a real thing". These discussions are so important for everyone to have; knowledge is a strength. ✨

[pet-a-cactus]

Prettyyyyy!

AAAA FORGOT IT WAS ACE DAY !!!! happy ace dayyyyy

[pet-a-cactus]

Happy Ace day!

[pet-a-cactus]

My ace experience is actually actually unironically think that the love/sex-central songs are fake and/or overly exaggerated. Like the moment I'm writing this I'm still 50% sure at some point someone will come telling me it is indeed overly exaggerated, it has never been about the real experiences of allo people, and I'm just overthinking things.

.

[pet-a-cactus]

this is so real 😭

Sex feels like those porn titles: the idea of it is more exciting than what it actually is.

as an asexual who likes to imagine sex but doesnt actually like having sex, sometimes it just feels like sex isnt real but i wish it was. and post

[pet-a-cactus]

Things had not been hot lately, video game doesn’t give me the choices I want

Being ace is constantly using “this is so hot”, “omg sexy”, and “I’m so turned on rn” when i was offered the choices I want in video game

[pet-a-cactus]

Everything is against me today

what the actual fuck

[pet-a-cactus]

Being ace is constantly using “this is so hot”, “omg sexy”, and “I’m so turned on rn” when i was offered the choices I want in video game