picklepie888

[picklepie888]

If I might add:

Mina and Jonathan become professional vampire hunters (bonus if they start a bloodline of vampire hunter descendants)

Sequel with an adult Quincey Harker as the protagonist (and he's actually Jonathan's son for once)

Adaptation where Renfield lives and joins the Crew of Light

Adaptation where Jack and Mina are siblings

Modern day found-footage film adaptation akin to the movie 'Missing'

upon learning that the upcoming Dracula movie is yet another Dracula/Mina romance, here is an incomplete list of things that would be more interesting in an adaptation than a Dracula/Mina romance:

A romance between Dracula and literally any other character

An origin story for the lady vampires

A feature length adaptation of the Demeter plot (yes, I know this exists already, it deserves more adaptations)

A Dracula origin story set at the Scholomance

Mina and Jonathan going into that "unknown and terrible land" together

Dracula deciding that, rather than just murdering people, he can offer sex in exchange for blood, and chooses to go to London to do this because the locals will not be receptive. He awkwardly tries to ask Jonathan about prostitution in London and Jonathan's proper gentleman sensibilities are affronted

Dracula gets committed to Seward's asylum, somehow

Dracula gets stuck in wolf form and gets adopted by one of the protagonists

Dracula and his ladies go to Van Helsing, expert on the occult that he is, to ask for help trying to conceive

The Crew of Light try to imprison Dracula rather than destroy him, theorizing that, if they can find a way to cure him, everyone he's turned will be cured

Dracula's sexy immortal vampire harem kicking him out of his own castle because they're sick of his shit

Dracula and Van Helsing as bitter exes

The solicitor who gets sent to Dracula is now Gabriel John Utterson, hoping for a nice relaxing vacation after all the Dr. Jekyll business

Sherlock Holmes, somehow

Dracula marries Mrs. Westenra

Dracula is in the Wild West and gets attacked by vampire hunting cowboys

Dracula being so creeped out by Renfield's obsession and vows of servitude that he flees to another country (to which Renfield follows him)

Oscar Wilde fucks Dracula

[picklepie888]

Splitting up Jumba and Pleakley is like splitting up Timon and Pumbaa or Pinky and Brain and I DO NOT CARE FOR THAT ONE BIT. 💀

You just don't do that. You don't.

I DEFY YOU, LIVE-ACTION REMAKE.

[picklepie888]

Having Jumba replace the role as the villain instead of Gantu and removing all the depth and nuance of his character is honestly one of the worst things ANY of these remakes have ever done (aside from completely ruining the whole message of the film)

Yes, Jumba was a mad scientist but he was anything BUT evil in original film. He was chaotic, egotistical, and at times completely insane yes but he also showed moments of humanity and genuine remorse like when Nani asked where Lilo was after she was captured. I'd even argue that him deciding to help Stitch in the climax so easily is actually pretty in character of him. He wasn't really an evil person, he was chaotic but had a good heart deep down

As the series went on he became more humble and even he and Pleakley became sort of father figures to both Stitch and Lilo. Hell in the second film, we see just how desperate he became when Stitch's begins malfunctioning to the point where his life is at risk. That moment in the end where they all think Stitch had died and Jumba takes him out of the chamber and he just hugs him is legit one of my favorite moments in the entire series. The whole second movie showed just how much Jumba truly cares for Stitch and considers him and the others as family. Also his and Pleakley's dynamic being one of the best parts of the original with how well they bounced off each other (we stan for the gay alien uncles here)

But in the remake it's genuinely uncomfortable and gross just how far it goes out of it's way to make Jumba as irredeemable as possible. I'm sorry but the Jumba we all know and love would NEVER intentionally burn the pictures of Lilo and Nani's parents, the only things they have left of their parents so happily, and he would NEVER treat Stitch so horribly to the point where he tries to stright up erase his empathy. Yes in the original film, he and Stitch's fight in Lilo's house caused it to blow up but that was completely by accident on BOTH of their parts, they weren't actively trying to blow it up on purpose. Even when he was trying to capture Stitch at no point did Jumba actively tried to hurt Lilo (aside from just gently pushing her away when she was hitting him with the broom during the fight) hell one of his most iconic lines "THIS IS LOW EVEN FOR YOU!" Is said when he realizes that Stitch is basically using Lilo as a shield

Also before someone says it yes, I'm well aware of the alternate deleted scene of Jumba attacking Lilo's house where he's a lot more violent and sociopathic. But 1. It was cut and re-edited so the original cut of the scene isn't really canon. And 2. The reason why it was removed was not only was it considered too violent, but it made both Stitch and ESPECIALLY Jumba too unlikeable and irredeemable. Jumba and Pleakley were always intended to help out in the climax, so having Jumba be redeemed despite how he was more than willing to straight-up shoot Lilo during the house attack didn't sit right. Jumba was NEVER intended to be as cruel as Gantu, but they decided to make him EVEN CRUELER than most modern Disney villains in this remake

Removing all of Jumba's nuances and making him a mustache-twirling bad guy so you can force him to take Gantu's place isn't just character assassination, it's complete character annihilation. It's easily up there as one of the worst examples of character assassination I've seen since Velma. Also I think it's REALLY suspicious that they removed an antagonist who was a bad cop and was fired for his repeated brutal methods and putting innocent people in danger, made the SCIENTIST the main villain to the point where they made him more of a monster then the cop

I'm sorry for the multiple posts on this film and if I come across as more angry then I usually do, but I'm just so appalled with how much they bastardised one of my favorite films of all time, as well as one of my favorite characters in said film. I'm at least glad that everyone seems to agree that this film is a pile of garbage

[picklepie888]

crazy how all jonathan harker ever did was love his wife and then every subsequent adaptation of the story of jonathan harker loving his wife went, "hey what if jonathan harker didn't love his wife"

also crazy how all mina harker ever did was love her husband and then every subsequent adaptation of the story of mina harker loving her husband went, "hey what if mina harker didn't love her husband"

[picklepie888]

What do you mean adaptation where Van Helsing and Mina get married?! Why? Where is Jonathan?

So Abrahams Boys is originally a Short Story by Joe Hill. It's focuses on Abraham Van Helsings Sons, after the events of the OG Dracula novel. But it's being made into a film and is likely going to be really dark thematically and could potentially be good imo (ignoring the Mina x Van Helsing bc like ???). It is on Kindle Unlimited which is where I read it but please read content warnings if you want to read it yourself. There is a lot of child abuse and mentions of sexual abuse as well as straight up graphically described murder. (Not for everybody and thats fair enough lol).

Johnathan and Mina were married but then Johnathan dies in this universe, but there's no explanation as to what events take place for Van Helsing and Mina to marry and have babies. But it's very much just used Van Helsing for the namesake and the characters in the short story dont reflect the actual characters from OG Dracula. Which like whatever, happens all the time media. Most of us are aware of the countless adaptations that have nothing of the original story. That's Hollywood p much.

Tbf the short story is written very well and in itself is a good short story if you read it not expecting it to be an extension of the original Dracula story. Van Helsing is incredibly mentally and physically abusive to his sons and aside from the "vampire hunter" part, he shares no characteristics with that of the wacky professor we know and love lol

[picklepie888]

This is canon, actually.

Kinda rushed and I wouldn't usually make anything like this but whatever it's june and I personally headcanon zim to be aroace (since they're technically already asexual?) and i feel like zim would know nothing about actual love lowkey so

[picklepie888]

A year and a half since its first appearance and these 3 good guys are still deep in my heart. 🩶💙❤️

I can't wait to see the adventures of this new space family 👍.

[picklepie888]

Queer media is cinema, pass it on!

[picklepie888]

Once again recommending donations to the Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund. Not only is it a credible organization, you can donate any amount, so even if you don’t have much money, you can still contribute what you can towards humanitarian aid in Gaza. It takes donations via credit, PayPal, and mailed checks.

[picklepie888]

If Zim decided to celebrate pride he'd probably do it a lot differently than how it's typically celebrated. He is an Irken after all

[picklepie888]

Thinking about the original Lilo and Stitch lately.

Imagine you’re Cobra Bubbles. You’ve had a storied career in the CIA, encountered aliens, even saved the planet once.

I assume at some point you get worn out, tired of the earth-shattering revelations you have to deal with on a daily basis. But you don’t want to retire. So you still work for your government, but you try to help kids by working for CPS. It’s not perfect, but you’re trying to do good.

Then suddenly, after who knows how long, you’re dealing with aliens again. This little girl has a new dog and its an alien. You’re not there undercover, you’re not there for any unusual reason, you’re just at work and bam. You’re dealing with aliens. AGAIN.

And not just any aliens. THE SAME ALIENS. From the ONE TIME you saved the planet. The leader of their government recognizes you. She chuckles like you’re old friends. Then she leaves and suddenly you’ve been adopted into this found family with three aliens. Because now the orphan has an alien for a pet and even though her home life is more stable, CPS will probably still be doing check-ups. And who at CPS has any experience with aliens BESIDES you?

If that’s not the universe telling you what your purpose in life is I don’t know what to tell you. Where’s my Cobra Bubbles movie?

[picklepie888]

So funnyyyy

[picklepie888]

they're so married:

[picklepie888]

Y'all since we're all getting back on the Lilo and Stitch train, can we talk for a minute about how we were ROBBED when the tv show was still on Disney channel?

So remember how in the L&S Tv show they'd do crossover episodes with the other Disney shows on air at the time? Kim possible, The Proud Family, etc.?

It's an ABSOLUTE CRIME that the show was taken off air before Phineas and Ferb got picked up bc CAN YOU IMAGINE

Phineas and Ferb cranking out experiments like no one's business

Jumba being impressed with how quickly the boys make experiments and immediately tries to take them under his wing as "little evil genius proteges"

Perry gets mistaken for an experiment and ends up fighting Gantu

Lilo trying to prove Perry IS an experiment to the boys (he's not, but she's dead convinced)

Doofenschmirtz gets jealous of Jumba and his inventions

Nani and Candice bonding over the stress their baby siblings put them under

Nani immediately checking Candice when she realizes she just wants to "bust" her brothers to their mom and tells her to step up for them

Pleakley becomes a Fireside Girl Den Mother somehow

Just

UGH

A crossover with them would've hit SO HARD and I will forever be sad that it never happened

[picklepie888]

Cards of Chaos

❅Commissions❅

[picklepie888]

When you think about it, David Kawena is the biggest green flag among Disney men

No, I am not accepting counter-arguments

Not only is he super sweet to Nani, he's just really nice to Lilo. Just genuinely nice. He cares about Lilo like they're already Ohana, which is perfect because when he marries Nani, they will be one

There are tragically people who see the children in single-guardian families as burdens or obstacles. I once heard of a man who told a single mom "I don't mind if you have baggage." Said "baggage" being her daughter and she did not take that comment well at all. I've even personally heard stories about a stepmother who actually pushed to replace their spouse's old children with new children

The fact that David cares about Lilo enough that he essentially tries to be an older brother/father figure for her makes him so great. There's never even an implication of him trying to get brownie points from Nani by taking care of her. Lilo will bring up that they like each other, but David only ever focuses on Lilo when they hang out

David never treats Lilo like a problem he has to accept to be with Nani. It's never "Well, I like Nani so Lilo's part of the deal, I guess."

David just genuinely cares enough about Lilo that he willingly puts himself in a paternal role for her well-being

The true testament to this man's quality is that there are episodes in the series where Lilo says she would be happy if David married Nani and became part of the family. You cannot name a green flag better than that

[picklepie888]

They took David out of the surfing scene and gave his caretaking role to a made up woman character because modern Disney executives can't wrap their head around a man wanting to take care of a child that's not his after being rejected by her sister and so having nothing to gain from it. You cannot convince me otherwise.