pissedoffstoryteller

[pissedoffstoryteller]

Instead of doing my Chinese class writing assignment I'm gonna befriend mothman and become the crow monarch who wants to join me

[pissedoffstoryteller]

People are getting pissed about how gay/bi/trans people are represented in the media (which is a completely valid thing to be pissed about, but still) and completely ignoring how aromantics are ignored & villainized, especially when they're allosexual.

[pissedoffstoryteller]

Look at this lil rainbow gall. She's so pretty. I worship octopi (Octopuses/octopodes) as gods. Look at this. The octopus gods said queer rights. And they're cool and flappy. I love her.

[pissedoffstoryteller]

Apparently at 1 AM last night I googled "what room green tree." I was clearly struggling.

[pissedoffstoryteller]

My search history goes from "flower meaning pain" to "definition of carpet"

after a month and a half of complete writer's block, i finally sat down and wrote almost 7K words in a day. the problem? now it's 3 a.m. and i'm google searching - and i quote - "when were nightstands invented"

[pissedoffstoryteller]

"You are a good dog, the best, as far as I know," I say, "It would be a shame to claim your soul, but one must be claimed. Perhaps if you chose another's soul for me to take?" The dog barked twice. "You truly are noble, but I could find no punishment I would be willing to give you." The dog whimpered, pawing at his person. "Perhaps," I hesitate, "I would enjoy some company while I work." The dog barks again, pawing frantically at his person. I barely glance at him, and he stirs. The dog wagged his tail, and I disappear.

Years later, I strolled along a dark road, standing before a man with his head bowed, whispering his desperation. When he looked up, his eyes traveled not to my face, but to the cheerful dog standing obediently by my side.

You are summoned to the realm of men, expecting to make a deal with a foolish mortal, but find yourself in an old library. The book that summoned you here is open on the floor, next to a fallen, unmoving old man…and a dog frantically looking for help. The dog approaches you, whimpering…

[pissedoffstoryteller]

You chuck random stuff in, stir, and hope for the best.

i’m a writer and i also make a lot of soups and may i just say…. 

writing… is like making soup

[pissedoffstoryteller]

oc owners either love their oc's and want to comfort them, or love their oc's and want to make others want to comfort them.

[pissedoffstoryteller]

I feel like nothing is more humbling than, reading a piece of writing, that you wrote back in middle school.

[pissedoffstoryteller]

Good substitutions for Brick Wall include your desk, your door, the ceiling (if you have a ladder) and the floor.

Do not use your will to live, as it cannot withstand the force of your writers block and feelings of inadequacy!

A recipe for finding your story's plot:

Ingredients:

2 cups of Things that must be in the story (this can be characters, specific scenes, settings, subplots etc.)

1 cup of Vague plot ideas I may not use

1 tbsp of Central Themes

1 tsp of Ending (either happy, tragic, or bitter-sweet)

1 tsp of Protagonist's Primary Motivation

2 lbs of Brick Wall

Time, as needed

Instructions:

In a large bowl, mix Things that must be in the story. Set aside.

In a separate bowl, sift together Vague plot ideas I may not use. Discard the excess and set aside.

Add Themes, Ending, and Motivation to a small jar. Screw lid on tight and shake until mixture becomes Conflict.

Pour Conflict and Vague plot ideas into Things that must be in the story. Blend on medium until Plot Points form.

Taste.

If it is still missing something, smash head against 1 lbs of Brick Wall for one to six hours.

Let marinate for one to 365 days. Add more Things and Vague plot ideas as desired.

Smash head against the rest of the Brick Wall for one to six hours.

Scream.

Repeat steps 5 through 9 as needed.

After sufficient marination, the mixture will form an idea. This will tell you what specific action must happen in order to resolve your story's conflict. Write this down and make appropriate sacrifices to thank whichever deity took pity on you.

Now you have your conflict, climax, and resolution. You just have to figure out how to get there. Good luck with the damn middle section dork!!

[pissedoffstoryteller]

If only my perfectionism was as laggy as my ability to write.

more of my writing memes here (3/?)

[pissedoffstoryteller]

If writers told stories to people out loud instead of writing them, everyone would think they were insane. Too bad it's easier to tell stories out loud than trying to use letters to word.