plainmiilktea

[plainmiilktea]

when i was younger i used to not be able to enjoy the simpsons because he was so old and they were all so mean to him and i couldnt take it.

why did they draw him so kawaii

[plainmiilktea]

suddenly hungry for cake rn

[plainmiilktea]

I'm not able to draw currently so instead I am going to force you all to listen to my Half Life gay headcanons.

Gordon - Transgender FTM and gay. He could be bisexual too but honestly I've tried picturing him with a woman and it nearly killed me. I think he would have been raised in a more accepting family and also been more well off (based on the fact he could assemble a butane powered tennis ball cannon at home presumably) and would have started his transition early probably has top surgery and is definitely on hormones. I have a shit ton of headcanons for this silent man I need to make a bigger post for him tbh.

Alyx - Bisexual. You can just tell. I don't think homophobia was a big issue when she was growing up during a literal alien invasion so she probably just knows that's what she is and doesn't think anything more of it.

Barney - Gay. Again you can just tell. Based on his vaguely southern accent, (where the fuck is this guy from??) I think he was raised in a more conservative family and probably encountered some issues because of that. I do think he'd be a bit confused learning about Gordon being trans if he ever did because he did not know people could do that, but ultimately he is a good guy and would try to learn more and not let it interfere with their friendship.

Kleiner - That's a gay old man. You cannot convince me otherwise. He named his pet headcrab after an actress/inventor from the 1930's. He's gay.

Eli - I think he's probably actually bisexual but does not know and does not care because he was happily married to his wife who he loves. I can also see him just being straight but it's more fun to imagine otherwise.

Judith - She's either a straight woman or very bisexual I can't decide. I need to replay the game and pay more attention to her cuz tbh on my first playthrough I ignored everything she said simply because Alyx shit talked her all the time and I trust her implicitly. I have since reflected and realized she's very interesting too.

BONUS under cut

Gman is nonbinary but like not in a trans way I genuinely think he just does not have anything going on in any way shape or form. I can't imagine him without the suit on and I can only assume that is because it is part of his body

Gina and Colette are both lesbians obviously but I haven't played decay so I have no authority in saying this but like everyone already knows.

I am partial to the Adrian Shepherd Transfem butch headcanon but I've seen so many different interpretations of his character that I can't decide if I'm set on that one.

Those two guys at the beginning of hl2 who are saying something about the combine outside their apartment or whatever. they're gay and they live together. yeah.

Chell portal is a lesbian. She's not half life but it's the same universe so she counts in my heart.

[plainmiilktea]

i have a very specific pride drawing i want to do but cannot currently due to the responsibilities of being alive. have this for now

[plainmiilktea]

happy pride half lifers

[plainmiilktea]

like sorry i think that Barney and Gordon knowing/knowing of Alyx as a little baby child (she lived in the black mesa residency with her parents that is also canon) is a perfectly valid reason for people to not be comfortable with the ship and to complain about it. Making a whole ass blog called "shitty half life takes" and only reblogging posts of people who are simply sharing their viewpoints on why they do not like a ship is childish behaviour, especially since they don't actually provide input onto why they think it's "shitty" and just reblog posts they disagree with as some kind of gotcha like bro. I like to share my viewpoints on certain things because i enjoy discussing one of my favourite pieces of media, but u will not catch me making an entire blog of shitty half life takes and reblogging every single freemance and valhoun post i can find bc at that point i'd just be trying to make myself mad.

perfectly valid reasons like shit you made up?

girl perfectly valid reasons like the fact alyx was their coworker's four year old daughter when they were both in their twenties. I didn't make that up that's just canon no matter how you look at it.

[plainmiilktea]

perfectly valid reasons like shit you made up?

girl perfectly valid reasons like the fact alyx was their coworker's four year old daughter when they were both in their twenties. I didn't make that up that's just canon no matter how you look at it.

[plainmiilktea]

this entire persons account is just people who dislike freemance and valhoun for perfectly valid reasons lmfao 😭😭

[plainmiilktea]

DO YOU GET ME??? YOU DO, RIGHT??

STANLEY! IN HALF-LIFE

Another mute to the team, how about that?

[plainmiilktea]

putting this here too lol:

I’m interpreting Alyx’s relationship to Gordon like how someone would have a crush on a celebrity. which in this case, it pretty much is? like her whole life she’s been given this idealized image of this man who’s treated like this messiah, has been told stories out him and only can understand him through that.

She’s spent her whole life crafting this image of him and I guess if anything I understand her flustered and flirty approach when getting to meet him for the first time. she’s meeting an idol so. yeah

it’s kinda parasocial in a way? not creepy ofc just like. it’s just she ONLY knows him from an outside perspective. And from the time they’ve met- and we’re looking through Gordon’s eyes- it seems he really hasn’t shown more of his personal self to her (which is a given considering Gordon is just a blank slate that the player inserts themselves into- but even in game there isn’t much)

all of this to say, I’d think they’d probably jive better as friends. I like seeing Alyx as a character when she isn’t just hooked to Gordon’s story. I LOVE HL: Alyx and imo her stories with her family and even G-Man are more important to me than the romance.

long story short: they should’ve kept Alyx’s deaf boyfriend/partner, Gordon’s story should just be separated from all of that.

AND *to clarify* Alyx shouldn’t be a character solely based in romance either I’d say her character is more grounded with the relationships she develops, and that shows ESPECIALLY in HLA. and those said relationships vary from casual, to friendly, to familial.

[plainmiilktea]

Well, that's alright, let's give this another try

[plainmiilktea]

Heeehuhuhuuheehehhujhh☺️quwuuw......gurrrrgrhh😚❤️hh,,hehehhhh...barney🤗💞🤗🤗hurgghhhhcalhouunnnn💞.,!!! 💋💋

[plainmiilktea]

I'm with ya, buddy.

[plainmiilktea]

And if you see Dr. Breen, tell him I said, 'Fuck you!'

[plainmiilktea]

Doing this poll again

Explain your choice in the notes!

[plainmiilktea]

Not to be annoying to freemance enjoyers again but this is exactly why i do not understand the ship. Even if you ignore the fact she was a child a few days ago from Gordon's perspective, he still JUST met her. He's going through hell. He's been absolutely ruined. He's high as fuck. He's basically Jesus. Everyone he knows is either dead or suddenly twenty years older. I genuinely don't think he has processed a single thought in the past like what. week? since the resonance cascade. He is running on autopilot this dude is not romancing a woman he just met while tripping immeasurable balls and going through unspeakable suffering. Alyx is just a big dumb loser (INCREDIBLY AFFECTIONATE) who sees this 47 (in her mind) year old guy with glasses and the freakiest green eyes ever and immediately starts flirting with him. And like! I would too! I do not blame her!! But I heavily dislike the ship because there is just no way in my mind that Gordon can possibly reciprocate. Anyways I agree op let him take a nap sorry for making this about a ship mentioned offhandedly once in ur post.

This's probably been said before but we need to talk about how the hell Gordon Freeman went through the events of HL1 and 2 without breaking down.

He woke up late and showed up to work like normal, probably expecting to just go grab a beer with Barney after work. When he went to the test chamber, some things were messed up but yk, "Gordon doesn't need to hear about this, he's a professional!"

So he was in the dark about everything up until the Resonance Cascade. Can you imagine it just being some random Tuesday and you accidentally cause the apocalypse?

He watched most, if not all of his co-workers die, whether that be from the explosion, the miscellaneous aliens roaming the place, or from the military running around and shooting everything that moves.

Meanwhile, Gordon somehow manages to survive all of this, kills a fuck ton of military guys, and ends up having to go to space. In the span of like 2 days he's now having to save humanity. So he does, kills Gonarch and the Nihilanth and whatever, cool. Then he meets this weird lizard guy in a suit who transcends time and space and whatever because why wouldn't he, and then he wakes up to lizard guy again and IT'S BEEN 20 YEARS?

So NOW he's gotta navigate this new dystopian place that's in another country, and on TOP of that, he still has to deal with the aftermath of the Resonance Cascade.

And on top of THAT, everyone treats him like he's some kind of messiah that's going to save everyone from the combine. It's been like 3 days, give my man a break 😭

Then he's gotta deal with this girl who was a toddler the last time he saw her leading him around and flirting with him, (but also kicking ass, no shade to Alyx) his best friend is now like 50 years old, his old boss is an evil dictator, and the end of the world is gonna happen AGAIN.

And then when he and Alyx somehow manage to destroy the citadel, NOW HE HAS TO DO EVEN MORE.

Anyway. Give my man Gordon a nap and a weekend to just relax.

[plainmiilktea]

Woo hoo!