porcelin-bones

[porcelin-bones]

sometimes i think it would be so much easier to run away so i could get all skinny from not having any food to eat

[porcelin-bones]

11.8.21

TW

so i’ve actually been really good today with my eating so far. i haven’t binged once and have eaten lunch that was only 220 calories and seeing and my limit is 780 i think it’s actually really good. by this point of the afternoon i tend to really struggle with cravings and bingeing but i’m really happy with how controlled i’ve been

[porcelin-bones]

so basically i’ve been in lockdown for over a month and i’ve put on 3kgs from just bingeing and being lazy and i’m so fkn mad about it. Basically i’m tryna stay on track with dieting but i can’t leave my house cause it’s unsafe with other people and myself and personal issues… sooo yeah i’m gonna try like work outs and stuff and keep dieting

[porcelin-bones]

anti-binge guide

when you feel a craving coming on:

drink a glass or two of water, slowly

have a piece of fruit, like an apple

make some warm herbal tea with natural sweetener

go for a long walk or hike, put your earphones in and clear your head - walk with a friend if you’d prefer

if you’re still craving the food, have the tiniest bit of it, no more than a bite, and have another glass of water

distractions:

watch a long movie or start a new show

study! complete homework or begin revising for exams

write down your own thinspo imagines

do some online window shopping and look at all the outfits you want to wear at a smaller size

make your own thinspo playlist

do some yoga or meditation

things to keep in mind:

you already know what your favourite foods taste like - you don’t need to eat them again in bulk

imagine the amount of progress you’ll make tomorrow if you exercise self control right now

the shame and guilt that follows a binge is not worth it

the physical pain and exhaustion is not worth it

you’re not just affecting your weight, you’re affecting your overall health, your mental well-being, your skin

binging means you’re wasting your time when you could be doing something much more productive

[porcelin-bones]

tw - suicidal thoughts

life has just gotten so hard for me i don’t even care about myself anymore. i let the guy i liked use my body he doesn’t truly care about my boundaries or the things that make me anxious. he just wants me for s*x and even then he doesn’t respect my boundaries, sometimes he can be super amazing and caring but it just feels like he doesn’t even care life is so hard and he adds so many more things to feel anxious about. It’s like he doesn’t care about me i try to be skinny for him i try to weigh as much as him i try to be perfect for him and he doesn’t appreciate any of it

[porcelin-bones]

so basically i was going super well today i had burned about 400 calories and only had two sugar free red bull so abiut 16 calories intake and i’m super angry, i had to eat because otherwise i would’ve passed out and that turned into a binge cycle where i ate about 1000 calories. i feel like a piece of shit. can y’all be super mean and like shit to me so i get back on track and stop myself from bingeing again

[porcelin-bones]

currently on a restrictive diet have only had a waterford’s mineral water which is only 6 calories in one can. i’m having roast for dinner which is annoying i’ll need to try and figure the cals out bc i’m working super hard and bought a bunch of sugar free drinks today.. hopefully skinny i’ll be lmk any diet ideas etc

[porcelin-bones]

i so envy girls that look like this.. i just want to be them so bad omg

[porcelin-bones]

i am so dissapointed in myself

- today i ate a salad i bought from school it had about one large piece of a chicken fillet, greens tomato onion and hummus i didn’t know how many calories it was but it made me so bloated i feel stupid and like i’ve failed my calorie limit it felt full of calories but i wasn’t sure

- the only good thing i have today is the fact that i bought a super low calorie juice with 10 carbs per serving and 2 calories per serve. i made up for today but walking to and from school to burn as much calories i can

[porcelin-bones]

i feel like such a fucking idiot i had to speak to a councellor about my anxiety and because i was with my mum and was scared to hurt her feelings i told the councellor my anxiety isn’t bad but it is like i can’t even leave the house anymore without being scared and when i’m home i’m scared that a “bad guy” is watching me from my window because he knows where i live wtf do i do in so tired of being anxious