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Read the new chapter, crashed out over scar (even tho I’m lesbian I don’t make the rules don’t ask me), made this while locking the fuck in, and my friend bullied me into posting it (but still too scared to tag anyone) anyway here

I literally love making collages tbh <3
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I've grown a mouth so sharp and cruel it's all that I can give to you, my dear
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going back to my roots drawing desduo aura farming for 3rd life’s fourth year anniversary! doubling as a redraw of the series’ first year anniversary as well.
rough turnaround & closeups under the cut
near total overhaul of my previous design, but i hope you enjoy this one better than the last
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“It’s okay to not be okay”
Unless it impacts your work performance…
Or your grades
Or how you act
Or if it causes you to say no
Or if you’re harder to be around
Or if you need time alone
Or if you talk about it
Or show symptoms
“It’s okay to not be okay”
Unless you have trauma
Unless you have one of those “scary” mental illnesses
Unless it inconveniences me
Unless you’re undiagnosed
Unless you cry or scream or make a scene
Unless you don’t keep that shit to yourself
Unless you make me uncomfortable
Unless I can’t infantilize or fetishize you
Unless you have hallucinations
Unless you have psychosis
Unless you get angry
Unless I think you’re cringe
Unless you can’t preform hygiene tasks
Unless you’re disabled, or trans, or gay, or not white, or fat, or AFAB, or intersex, or a man… so I guess anyone
“It’s okay to not be okay”
As long as nobody ever finds out.
Our society has a severe issue with performative activism, and mental health is a huge example of this. Every time someone considers reaching out, they run through this list mentally. This is why true activists and resources need to be loudly supportive of all the things on this list. Take the subtext out of your support.
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You know it’s bad when you can’t get class of 2013 out of your head (help me help me holy shit)
#actually plural#plural system#pluralgang#plurality#actually autistic#plural#plural community#plural stuff#we’re so silly
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Mommy said not to talk to strangers, so when I get ready in the morning i open all the mirror-cabinets so I see my Disney princess bandaids instead of someone else’s eyes that shake when I look at them too long.
Daddy said to look both ways before I crossed the street
Mommy said
Mommy said
Mommy said
and so now when I’m scared to remember him, I forget how to not be reckless.
Cousins said I had the better life, better house, better parents. I think we were all just scared children. I remember my mom was arguing in another room, we closed the door and put on our shoes together, pretending not to care together.
Mommy said
Mommy said that she was scared too
Mommy said not to
Yelling
What if.
I’m scared if I hug my mother I’ll get too soft and I’ll disappear inside her forever.
People wave, but i dont know them. I stopped telling them, sometimes they cry
Mom, i promise that when i die i will bleed quietly and neatly. I’ll wait for a day where nothing at all is planned and nothing happened anyways. I won’t do it on an anniversary or a birthday or a holiday. I’ll do it on February 29th so you only mourn once every four years. I’ll be sure to pay my debts and clean my room. I’ll do it outside so it’s easier to clean up. I’ll make sure my death is more convenient than my life was for you.
Lover, I’m so exhausted. I don’t think I’m getting better, i think im just scared to lose you. Asking me when i will be ready to kiss again and it pushes me back weeks. Every touch can become a pinch. Every interlocking of hands can be squeezed too hard it hurts. Every kiss can go on longer than I want. Every smile can be regretted.
People have followed behind me f
Mommy said mommysaidmommy said
or so long. Scared.
- Scream 🕳️
#the colorful collective#Scream 🕳️#actually dissociative#dissociative identity disorder#dissociative system#dissociation#actually plural#plural system#pluralgang#plurality#actually autistic#plural#plural stuff#plural community
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ArbdjfchBAJAJ
FAMILY TRAUMA FAMILY TRAUMA
i feel like it’s radiating in my bones, echoing
I knew you’ve never hit me, but I’m not sure if you’ve ever considered it
I dropped your tea as a kid and you grabbed my arm, furious
I’ve never forgiven you for that, but i did forget
I was on social media too young
The next day my dad told me to stay in my room so you could leave before i got up
You told him i didn’t deserve to sleep in
I was 12
I’ve never forgiven you for that, but i did forget
You got mad at me for wearing lime green socks to school
You got mad when I couldn’t walk to that breakfast spot
You got mad when I wasn’t excited about a museum (i was in excruciating pain)
You. Fuck you
You got pissed that I wouldn’t hug you once I remembered how unpredictable and unsafe you could make me feel.
Left the house because dad and i were watching “too many” marvel movies
Dad got out of the car and walked home, i don’t even know what you were mad about
Want me to be independent but are strict and controlling
I can imagine you hitting me with such vibrancy I wonder if it ever happened
I sometimes think you shouldn’t have had kids
I’ve thought it my whole life
I’m not worth this, you weren’t ready
So mad so mad so loud so mad
This house is so small these walls are so thin i know you mean so well but you can’t poison one of five drinks and then expect me to sip any
Let me out of here
- ???????
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Pain might build character but I don't need any more characters.
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“slut era” i whisper to myself as i rot in my bed, sick like a frail victorian child
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some mumbo doodles (while i’m out on vacation)
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Here’s some positivity for headmates who rarely front!
Fronting is not a requirement in order to be a valid headmate or member of your system. Some systems may find that they have members who hardly front at all, or who only fronted briefly years ago, and that's okay! Every system is unique, every system member is unique, and each system may have unique needs when it comes to fronting and interacting with the world. If your system has members who hardly front, or who used to front but don't anymore, this post is for you!
🌈 Shoutout to fragments who front for specific purposes, then vanish for long periods of time!
✨ Shoutout to headmates who have only fronted once or twice!
💗 Shoutout to headmates who front for a specific task that is rarely needed in their system!
🌈 Shoutout to systems who are unsure how to count or keep track of their members due to fragments or headmates who hardly ever front!
✨ Shoutout to headmates who lead rich and complex lives in their system’s headspace or inner world even if they rarely front!
💗 Shoutout to headmates who sometimes question whether or not they exist due to how little they front!
🌈 Shoutout to fragments and headmates who struggle to understand their own identities due to not fronting often!
✨ Shoutout to systems who miss particular members of their collective who have been dormant, missing, or who have just not fronted in a very long time!
💗 Shoutout to headmates and fragments who only front on specific days like birthdays, anniversaries, or events that happen rarely!
🌈 Shoutout to headmates who formed to fill a certain role for their system, but haven’t been needed in the front to perform their duties since!
You don’t have to front at all in order to be a valued, special, and important member of your system. Headmates, fragments, alters, and parts who don’t front often are still valid as members of their system and are still deserving of love, dignity, and respect just the way they are! No system member should ever feel guilty or pressured to front more often than they wish or are capable of.
If you or someone in your system is a headmate who rarely fronts at all, we want to remind you that a system member’s existence is in no way tied to how much or how little they front. Please show your headmates who don’t front often some love and support, and let them know that they are cherished and wanted in your system, even if they haven’t fronted in a long time or find it difficult or impossible to front these days. Take care of yourselves and each other, and have a great day!
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gatekeeper who rocks up to front in a t-shirt that reads "don't poke the trauma"
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👀🤲💕
This one was so fun to doodle. The process went nothing like what I usually go for
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