queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

as a kid who grew up with a super physically abusive and neglectful mother who randomly disappeared and left me clueless with family for years, this one really hit me hard,, thank you, i needed that.

Mother's Day can be a painful reminder, so here's a salute to all the kids and adult children who grew up with absent mothers, angry mothers, negligent mothers, abusive mothers, overly-critical mothers, codependent mothers, overwhelmed and struggling mothers, mothers who ignored your cries for help, mothers who sacrificed your happiness to placate others, mothers who tried to do better but failed, and mothers who didn't try quite hard enough.

And to every child and adult who has a complicated relationship with their mother or caretaker--it's okay to feel conflicted. It's okay to feel hurt and love and resentment and pain and sympathy and longing and guilt bundled up into one big tangled ball. It's okay to struggle to reconcile the bad memories with the good ones that simultaneously exist. It's okay to be angry about the ways your parent failed you, and also aware of their personal struggles, and the way their parents in turn failed them. It's okay to recognize that you were loved but also that you were treated unfairly, unkindly. Contradictions are the natural state of the world. Multiple truths coexist. It's okay to be conflicted.

Parents are humans. Human relationships are complicated, and cannot be summarized by a greeting card. Wherever you are coming from, I hope your future holds healing and love, love, love.

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

Bitches be like ‘I’m so tired and sleepy’ and then stay up doing hyperfixtation shit for the next 5 hours

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

Inductions Day

Today was my induction day, and today was so odd. I finally reached a goal I've been working on since freshman year, and now that it's finally over I don't know what to do.

In a weird way it felt like the ceremony was the start of me saying goodbye to one of the safest places I've ever known, goodbye to the long nights and early mornings, goodbye to the periods spent sleeping by the spotlights. Goodbye to the random sing alongs, the jokes made in pass that had to later be explained to someone. Goodbye to the preshow jitters, goodbye to tech week, goodbye to the mental breakdowns for every technical misshaps and the rejoice when the problems where solved. Goodbye to the smoke breaks in the bathrooms, the mental breakdowns in the work shop, goodbye to the room I would throw out my frustrations, the room where I brought other people's visions to life, where I pushed the boundaries over and over and over again. Goodbye to the place I could always go to and everything would fade away, I would become open and vunerable, goodbye to the place that gave me a place to hide in another person's personality, that gave me a place to face reality and never feel guilty for how I reacted to said reality. Goodbye to my safe space, goodbye to the place that gave me two of my closest friends, goodbye to the space that helped me discover who I am, to the place where I finally belonged.

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

My dear lgbt+ kids,

“Before I met you, I didn’t know what real love was” is cute and romantic, no doubt - but please know that’s not the only way or even necessarily the right way.

It’s not true that all your former relationships will look meaningless once you meet “The One” or at least it’s not true for everyone in the whole world.

Sometimes it’s “I really loved them with all my heart and now I really love you with all my heart”. That doesn’t mean this love is any less special or less real.

Hey, sometimes it’s even “I love both of you with all my heart, at the same time”.

Or it’s “I am the one for me - I don’t want or need to find my better half, I’m whole”.

Or it may be “I love my best friend, in a completly platonic way, but our love for each other means more to me than a romantic relationship ever could”.

My point is that our obession with “soulmates” can make us blind to all the beautiful and diverse kinds of love in this world. All the beautiful and diverse kinds of love that can happen in one life -  without making the other loves smaller or ending them.

With all my love,

Your Tumblr Dad

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

“Someday, you will be in love again. The sun, a wound on your windowsill. Light falls on your dreams. It sounds like someone knocking.”

— Sanna Wani, from “Memory is Sleeping,” The Puritan (no. 53, Spring 2021)

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

thank you for finally waking up and realizing that all you'll ever need has been right in front of your face since day one,

im just sorry it took me almost 18 years to realize it.

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

so are you trying to kill me (derogatory) or are you trying to kill me (romantic)

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

subtle intimacy is so soft!! knowing someone’s routine and slowly becoming a part of it. memorising favourite teas and soups and drink orders. good morning and good night texts and messy paragraphs of love written half asleep. nicknames only you know. just!!! small things that say “look how dear you are to me.”

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

I’m that girlfriend that stares at you and smiles all the time even when you aren’t looking because I’m so obsessed with you

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

not to be gay but totally being gay

god okay not to be horny or anything but i wanna fucking toy with someone, like just turn them into a shuddering mess of a person. leave a hickey on every inch of sensitive skin, touch every sweet spot, make them cum as fast and as many times as i can, not letting up for a moment. i wanna see them become dazed, heavy breathing and flushed cheeks, just so overwhelmed and out of it that all they can do is make cute noises and look like a pretty little toy for me

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

A post from a friend to who runs this account.

For more than three years, we've known eachother. Can you believe that? How we met by pure chance? I used to believe that life wasn't important - that it doesn't matter who we meet because inevitably we'd all die anyways. yet, when I look at you - I truly forget about mortality and forget about how fast we seem to travel through time.

You freeze and centre me to the moment despite me knowing it's still going. You anchor me in place in the most comfortable way imaginable and it's honestly kind've amazing how you've managed to do that. Hopelessly, I'm very pessimistic and I tend to hide it behind a facade of overblown optimism. Yet, with you, I feel truly euphoric and optimistic about the world. You erase negativity and leave only joy, bliss.

You amaze me to no extent. I don't know what I feel anymore but I know for one thing that it's in contentment. It's crazy how quickly you've become apart of my life and a vital part in my day - to - day. Is this yearning? Is this romantics? Is it really strong Ludus? Is it Philia? I don't know. I don't know if I want to know, either. You're a thrill, and I hope nothing changes between us ill-y.

I guess, In short, what I'm trying to say is that I appreciate your existence. I appreciate your personality - how you light up while talking about anything that piques your interest. I love the deep agape you feel for folks, how you care because you can and you want to and not because you have to. You are the truth in a world full of lies and half - promises. I love you.

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

I'm jus tryna b ur cute goth gf

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

hi

hello!

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

im honestly so jealous of lesbians and gay men, they have their sexuality figured out, where I feel that bisexual people struggle with their sexuality so much. we get so much judgement for the gender of our partners and our sexualities get invalidated so often, even by people in our own community.

when i say i like and prefer women, my past relationships with men shouldnt invalidate my sexuality. when i openly admit i have more experience with men, it doesn't mean i'm not queer, i simply just haven't met the right woman for me. Just because i've dated mainly men in my past doesnt mean i dont want to hold a pretty girl's hand and kiss her forehead, it doesnt mean i dont want to be there for her when she needs me, that i dont want to let her know that shes my entire universe, that i dont want her to feel loved and appreciated. just because i've dated men doesnt mean i dont sit and fantasize about building a home with a girl, raising kids with her, living my life with her.

i just haven't found her yet...

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

gender is a coin that everyone said was gonna land on heads or tails but i turned mine into one of those pressed pennies from the museum. it’s got a dinosaur on it

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

lesbian culture is staying up way later than is wise so you can talk to a girl

[queerrantsbyanonbinarybitch]

i wonder what its going to be like when someone actually. likes me in a romantic way again? i always worry i’d fuck it up with my whole issue-separating-types-of-love shit. like, my strongest romantic relationship started with dating, breaking up, and then getting back together as a QPR until i finally started to settle into comfortable, less fluid feelings. after that beginning freakout i was DEEP in love, and it felt consistent- like it should?? i guess? am i just always doomed to have extreme waves of feelings in the beginning? what if i hurt someone? i never want to put people through more painful emotions than needed, but if i never TRY exploring feelings i might never date somebody again, which is. not what i want lmfao. i just wish i understood what to DO to not. have all this embarrassing ambiguous attraction. do i just take a long time to fall in love with somebody? are their milestones i hit that help me know for sure what im feeling is romantic love?? are there no easy answers?? its my own fucking brain youd think id have more of an understanding of whats going on!!!