rach-maximoff

[rach-maximoff]

Natasha: Why are you being so mean to Wanda?

Y/N: I’m playing hard to get.

Natasha: Why would you do that? You’re already hard to want.

[rach-maximoff]

Doctor: I’m sorry only family is allowed to see them right now.

Natasha: Bold of you to assume I won’t legally adopt them right now!

Y/N *weakly*: You tell em Mum….

[rach-maximoff]

Wanda: Are you vegetarian?

Natasha: No, I’m Scorpio.

Yelena: Nat, you’re Sagittarius.

Y/N: I thought she was Russian.

[rach-maximoff]

Wanda: What is one thing nobody knows about you?

Y/N: I get jealous when my phone dies.

Wanda:

Natasha *from across the room*: Y/N we talked about this.

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N: I miss Wanda.

Natasha: Y/N-

Y/N: She use to call me that.

Natasha: Gee I fucking wonder why.

[rach-maximoff]

Natasha: I have the sharpest memory! Name one time I forgot something.

Y/N: You left me in a Walmart car park like, two weeks ago.

Natasha: I did that on purpose try again.

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N: Wanna hear a joke?

Natasha: No

Y/N: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Natasha *sighs*: Why?

Y/N: To get to the idiots house. Knock Knock.

Natasha: Who’s there?

Y/N: The chicken.

Natasha:

Y/N:

Natasha: I won’t punch you in the face on one condition.

Y/N: …yeah?

Natasha: Go tell that joke to Tony.

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N, drunk after one shot: You’re so hot.

Natasha: Uh huh.

Y/N: And spicy.

Natasha: Right.

Y/N, wrapping both arms around Nat: My lil buffalo chicken wing.

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N: Can I have a piece of cake from the fridge?

Yelena: What’s the rule?

Y/N, sighing: No cake after dinner.

Yelena: No, that’s Nat’s rule. My rule is that you need to bring me a slice as well.

[rach-maximoff]

Natasha: Truth or dare?

Y/N: Truth.

Natasha: How many hours have you slept this week?

Y/N: Dare.

Natasha: Go to sleep.

Y/N: I don’t like this game.

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N: Do you think when butterflies are in love they feel humans in their stomach?

Wanda: Y/N. Darling. Honey. Love of my life. What the fuck?

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N: FOUR MONTHS.

Natasha: What are they talking about?

Wanda: Nothing.

Y/N: THAT’S HOW LONG YOU STOOD BY AND WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT.

Yelena: *hysterical laughter in the background*

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N: How do I make a date really romantic?

Natasha: Try being mysterious.

[Later, on a date with Wanda]

Wanda: So, where are we going?

Y/N: None of your fucking business.

-

-

-

Hope you all have a great Christmas <3

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N: Here’s a fun idea; we hang mistletoe but instead of kissing the person underneath, we have to fight them.

Natasha: We are not doing that.

Yelena *nodding*: mistlefoe

Natasha: Don’t encourage her!

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N: I want to be a caterpillar.

Natasha: Explain?

Y/N: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.

Natasha: You know they have a lifespan of like two weeks right?

Y/N: That’s another highlight.

Natasha: Y/N no-

[rach-maximoff]

Y/N: I accidentally ate Thor’s pop tarts, how long do you think I have to live?

Natasha: Ten.

Y/N: Ten what?

Natasha: Nine.

[rach-maximoff]

Computer: Make a password

Y/N: Natasha

Computer: Too weak

Y/N: *stabs the monitor with her knives*

Y/N: Say that again. I dare you!