ramblingsof-astridkai

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Not Thranduil related but I swear this meme just killed me lol

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

The Library

A/N: This was meant for a world building assignment in my Creative Writing class. It takes place in Elovara, which I have many plans for in the future. Most of those plans will be shared on this blog, that's why this blog exists. Also, I'm really bad at writing, so if you have any (kindly worded) feedback, I would love to hear it!

Warnings: fascism, cultural oppression, angry man, arrest

The Great Library of Eyria stands tall against the rest of the city. A glass dome adorns the top of the structure like the crown of a king, it is complimented by the large windows that occupy the floors below. A plethora of books can be seen from outside, and walking into the library feels like entering another world. Bookshelves reach the ceiling on each floor, thousands of columns housing the knowledge of the world. A spiral staircase in the center of the building provides navigation through to each of the twenty floors. Each floor covers one or two subjects, ranging in a wide variety of topics.

One of the librarians, Otheyja, sits at her desk on the eleventh floor. She is in charge of the “recent history” floor. Every book on the eleventh floor covers events of the past 50 years. It is the smallest section of the library, but is important nonetheless. Working at the library was a fairly peaceful experience for her. She was trained to help people that asked for help about crisis situations they lived in, but that skill was rarely exercised when she worked on such a high floor. Usually, her interaction with people consisted of kids needing help with a history project. Sometimes her supervisor would come up to socialize over a cup of tea, but that only happened near the end of the week.

Today was just as quiet as any other. She was spending time with one of the language textbooks she found in the basement. The basement is filled with banned material that only people with a special ID can check out. Otheyja had been sneaking down to the basement to find information about Skothema, she had never learned the language growing up despite her name having its origins in it. Her grandfather spoke the language, but he refused to speak it around her until she was a teenager. His excuse was always that she wouldn’t need it, and that the Blue Men would kill her if she knew the language. Otheyja didn’t inherit his fear of their culture. She always had hoped that she’d learn the language some day.

She huddled over the textbook, desperately trying to decipher some of the example sentences. “Th…su..soo? Sundor? Is it an ‘or’ or an ‘er’ sound?” It was a struggle trying to remember how the words sounded, it was even worse since she only heard it spoken on rare occasions. The letters weren’t helping either, the swirling and connecting lines felt so strange and unnatural to her. How was anyone meant to read this?

Heavy footsteps echo up the staircase. Otheyja slams the book shut and shoves it in her bag. She needed to hide what she was doing, as it isn’t uncommon for people to tell Exparian soldiers if someone is doing something “wrong”. They think that complying will save them from the cruelty. It won’t.

She looks at the staircase expectantly, assuming someone is coming in to check out a book. All of the librarians are used to getting asked for help finding books, it is expected in such an overwhelmingly large library. The person coming up the stairs is the last person she expected to see in this building, and her heart drops to her stomach. At the top of the stairs stands an Exparian soldier, he’s scanning the room with a malicious gaze. He nods to himself, something that makes Otheyja’s hands shake. He singles her out, and makes long, intimidating strides towards her. She does her best to clear her mind, and straightens her posture. No man is going to waltz into this building and make her afraid.

“How can I help you, sir?” Otheyja says it louder than she usually speaks. She hopes someone will hear her, see the soldier, and if they need to leave it will give them the chance to run.

“How many books do you have on…” the soldier pulls out a device and squints to read the screen. He looks frustrated before aggressively snapping the device back onto his tool belt, “Whatever your old leader was called,”

“Leader? Apologies, sir, I’m not quite sure what you mean,” she knows exactly what he means. He is under the impression that Skovia had one person at the top of the government’s hierarchy, and he thinks he knows who it was. Before Exparia forced themselves into power, Thodea’s council member was a woman named Cerdiam. Thodea is the capital city, but that doesn’t mean they have more power than the other cities, just that they produce more goods than the rest of the country. Purpose was more important than power when Thodea was declared the capital, and producing food was considered the most important as it kept the country alive.

“You know that… that… lady that didn’t let us-” he takes a short breath before rephrasing, “Who was in power before President Horst,” his tone changed to something passive aggressive. Otheyja did her best not to scoff at the country's so-called president.

“I’m afraid we don’t have such a figure in our history,” she turns back to her computer to look busy, but the soldier continues.

“I know you’re lying to me. How many books do you have about her?” He slams his hands on the table, making Otheyja jump a little.

“None, sir, given that ‘she’ doesn’t exist,” She opens her email to send a message to her supervisor. She starts to type a warning that an aggressive Exparian soldier is in the building, and that the emergency alarms should be set off to get people evacuated. She doesn’t get very far, as the soldier grabs her arm and lifts her from her seat.

“Where are the fuckin' books?!” he spits in her face as he yells, but Otheyja does her best not to look afraid. In reality, she is terrified.

“Not sure why you want them,” she looks the man up and down, “You don’t strike me as one that reads often,” an offended and angry grimace washes over the soldier’s face.

“Fine,” he grumbles before forcing his way behind the desk.

“Sir, you don’t have permission to-” Otheyja feels the man force her around, and has metal clasped on her wrists before she has time to protest. She is silently and unceremoniously dragged down the stairs. She begins to squirm and kick in attempt to escape the man's grasp. She can barely make sense of what’s happening due to a mix of shock and the world around her existing in a blur.

She does notice when she finally gets outside due to the pain in her legs and the breeze that suddenly hits her. She is thrown into a dark blue van with the emblem of a flower painted on the side. It has no windows, and the back is lined with two benches. Across from her sits her supervisor, also in a pair of handcuffs.

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Turns out the horsemen of the Apocalypse now prefer to go by Shareholder Profit, Private Equity, Corporate Personhood, and Workforce Optimization.

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Got Bored, Made a Language

So for one of the stories I'm working on (Talmuran), I wanted some of the characters to speak a different language than the universe's equivalent to English. So, instead of just picking one of the real world languages that I know, I just decided to make a new one, so now I want to ramble about how I made Skothea.

I'm going to clarify that this is based on observations I've made while learning languages and vague ideas of how language works. I do not have a background in linguistics or etymology! I did my best to make this feel like a real language, but may have made some mistakes.

Characters and Writing:

Making the characters for the language was the most difficult part for me. I realized that my brain really wants to stick to what it already knows about language, so trying to make something new was hard. Eventually I just kind of decided to squiggle on the page until it made sense. I also said the sound repeatedly to make a shape that felt like it "fit" the noise the letter makes.

I also deleted/added some letters for the alphabet. I got rid of G, H, Q, W, X, and Z for this language. But I also added characters for "th" and "rr". Adding new characters made me think of how the language is viewed by the people who speak it as well, like since there isn't an H in this language, the sound for "th" is thought to be closer to a ß (sharp S/called an eszett) sound. (I don't know if that part of my explanation made any sense.) I thought maybe this would make the language feel more developed as it's own method of speaking/writing, than just making it seem like English with a different writing system.

I also wrote the characters out in a physical letter from the perspective of one of my characters, which was really helpful in realizing how writing the real language would work. Such as when I was writing a word that was cut off to the next line. I'm used to there being a "-" to separate the word, but I had used that as the symbol for a comma in this language. So instead I did a double arrow that attaches to where the word is cut off. I also showed this to my creative writing teacher, and she pointed out that the language is written in a cursive system. I didn't notice that entirely because I did make a few mistakes with some characters not connecting to the other letters very well (such as O, E, C, and U).

^ this is a chart I made for myself of what the characters look like. I may redo the numbers. I made the chart part a while ago in order to make other languages, this is not the first time I've done this.

^ this is a journal entry written in the perspective of the main character that I made to practice writing in the language, and helped me create words/grammar/sentence structure.

Words and Translating:

Holy fucking yikes- this had the same issue I had with making the characters but amplified. Trying to make new words for this is really hard, especially when your brain is trying to still fit what you're making into an understandable language. There were several times I thought I'd have a "light-bulb moment", write down a word, then realize my brain tricked me by giving me the word in Dutch, German, or Japanese to try keeping what I was writing somewhat understandable.

Places where that kind of bit me in the ass: I felt like I needed a word for "the" and instead of just making a new word I decided to just go with "th". Almost mad "and" just "und" before remembering that was German, and switched it to "ut" last second.

Something I really wanted to try doing is words that don't translate perfectly, because real languages don't perfectly translate into each other. One of those words is the (working) title of this story: Talmuran. The word would roughly be "bastard", but I also wanted it to be used more specifically as a curse onto someone for being corrupt, unkind, or a traitor.

Real languages not translating perfectly is something I also kept in mind for making the actual words. I made a few combination words that combined one action with another, an action with a feeling, or an action with an object. This makes a literal translation look confusing and jumbled, but it felt more like a language to me when I did it that way.

When writing what I wanted the character (Alastor) to write in their journal entry, I first wrote it in English. This made the idea of what they were saying come out easier, and also gave me a reference as to what I was trying to say. After that I did a literal translation between English and Skothea. This was helpful in developing a system of how to order words in a sentence, and what words actually mean. Lastly, I had to put it into the actual language and come up with the words. (TW for mentions of murder in the image below)

^ This is the translation draft I did in Ellipsus. It isn't my best piece of writing, but it wasn't meant to be.

Conclusion:

That's what I have for right now, it's subject to change because there are parts I'm not happy with. But I am proud of what I have so far! I also decided that sign language was going to be important, not only in this story but to the culture that speaks this language as a whole. So now I need to make a sign language because I'm terrified to mess up ASL.

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

For I am Just a Stepping Stone

This is a poem I wrote when I was 14, what it's about? Don't know, can't help you.

Warnings: Self deprecation, implied injuries

Their home is a garden

A garden that sprouts roses from wound

A garden that nurses my health

Allowing flowers to grow out of unwanted orifice

Vines climb their walls 

Leaves in their grout 

Even weeds may sprout

Like the dandelions in their lungs

And their kitchen is filled with great abundance

Graciously they allow for me to take share

And in this special way I learn their care

But even in such beauty 

Kindness, grace, and care

I know they’ll never love me

For I am just a stepping stone

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Masterlist

This is a collection of all my story related posts. Currently unfinished, and probably going to turn into a bizarre web of links in the future. Let me know if anything is improperly linked!! I want to make sure this is organized properly.

Key: * = abandoned story, ✧ = trigger warnings for suicide or mental illness, ♡ = trigger warning for sexual content, ◈ = violence and political themes, △ = horror story

Short Stories:

The Star ✧

The Walk Home △ (To be added...)

Elovara Short Stories ◈✧

The Library ◈

Poems:

For I am Just a Stepping Stone ✧

Series:

Mystic Mainsail *

Talmuran ◈ (To be added...)

Character/World Related Ramblings:

Aiza James *

Got Bored, Made a Language

Elovara (To be added...)

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Series Masterlist - Mystic Mainsail

This project is currently abandoned! But I do want to link it anyway for myself to look back on. I did start writing this when I was 13, so it is no longer a reflection of my current writing.

Key: ✧ = trigger warnings for suicide or mental illness, ♡ = trigger warning for sexual content

Links:

Prologue

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

The Star

A/N: Yay, more writing no one asked for!! I had to do this for my creative writing class and wanted to share it.

Warnings: First person POV, death, impending sense of panic? Character isn't named

~*~

The trees stretch into the sky, farther than I could ever fathom. I can barely see the night sky through the leaves of the canopy. I am only able to make out a single star. It’s brighter than all the others. It's so big I feel as if I could reach it if I just climbed toward it. I can’t feel my skin as a chill engulfs my body. I can barely hear the birds anymore, why can’t I hear the birds anymore? I’m not sure if I remember how I got to this forest. Why did I come here?

I don’t think I want to leave. The scenery is so captivating, even when there’s almost no light to appreciate it in. The grass brushes against my knees. The flowers I met near the tree line have long abandoned this pitch dark maze. I can almost remember seeing a rabbit earlier. Or was it a fox? Perhaps it was a greater beast, a bear, maybe? Whatever it was, it looked to have the softest fur. If I could only reach out to pet it, it may feel almost like a cloud.

I stare at the ground, admiring the way the grass feels…once felt. I can’t feel it anymore. I see it, I know it’s there. It brushes against my legs, I can run my hand against it, but I cannot feel it. Why can’t I feel the grass? Or the ground for that matter, what am I standing on? It doesn’t feel like there’s anything under me.

It’s brighter now, but I cannot feel the sun on my skin. Shakily, I look above to see that star. It’s closer, stars don’t come closer. They live up there, in the sky. They have no reason to leave home when it is such a beautiful place. I always wanted to know what it’s like up there. Is it happy up there? Do the stars talk to each other? Do they idolize the moon and sun the way that a child idolizes their mother and father?

The star is next to me now, how strange. Something tells me that I shouldn’t be afraid, that this star wants to help me leave the depths of the forest. I do not want to leave, so I run. My feet don’t feel like they’re moving, yet I am still farther away than I once was. I soon notice that the grass no longer moves underneath me. No breeze exists from my movement as I rush away from the light.

No matter how much I run, the star stays by me. Without moving, it follows me. I feel as if I have been running for hours, yet I do not tire. There is no hope to escape the star. The star may not be something I must escape. I hear a soft humming from inside it, almost a lullaby. Barely audible amongst the sounds of the forest. The sounds…I can hear again. The birds are back to chirping, there is a rustling of movement in the grass and trees. I hear the footsteps of wildlife I didn’t think I’d hear so close to me.

I reach into the star, and it soon consumes me. It’s quiet again. There is an endless, unbreaking silence as the world escapes me. But it does not bother me. I am at peace here, finally, I am at peace.

I finally remembered how to put the read more button!!

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Idgaf if you don't want to write essays for school. I don't care if you don't want to write corporate emails yourself. I don't care if you can't draw well, I don't care if you can't write well, I don't care if you just really really want to talk to your favorite fictional character but don't want to RP with a real person because you have social anxiety or whatever

If you're still regularly using generative ai, chatgpt or midjourney or character.ai or literally whatever the fuck, im personally blaming you when my utility prices start going up.

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Haven't posted on this blog in a few years might revive it

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

So.

Another 751 unmarked graves were found at a Saskatchewan residential school.

Seven hundred fifty one.

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

how is piracy bad? it’s sharing. and sharing is caring.

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

I'm considering turning Mystic Mainsail into a comic instead of an actual written story. Drawing and dialog is much easier for me and since I've been working on building these, characters (although never actually writing anything) for a while now and even have ideas for a related series in the future.

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Hi! I kinda forgot this blog existed there for a while. I'll be redesigning a lot of Mystic Mainsail and have other ideas in the works. I'll most likely abandon the story and characters for a bit and delete the current character introduction for Aiza.

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Mystic Main Sail - Prolgue

Point of View - Aiza James (Assume it’s her view for every story unless stated otherwise)

Warnings: none?

“Everything is a structure dear,” My mother, or the woman who I allow to claim that title, spoke softly. She was brushing my hair before we went to the market, “And when one part of that structure breaks, it all falls apart.” 

 I was thinking too much again, about the small quotes my mother would tell me when I was younger. She used them to teach me life lessons that I never took seriously until now. I’m sitting on the streets right now, I was kicked out of the room I was renting and my boss just fired me. My structure is falling apart.

Hopefully, it’ll be fixed soon. A pirate crew will occasionally hire me, but I never know when they show up. They are all very hospitable, surprisingly. My whole life I only heard stories of brutal pirates going through towns and cities and tearing them down. But they're different, I guess the military just loves lying to citizens, now doesn't it?

I decided to roam around the docks for awhile when someone tapped my shoulder. It was a woman, her skin was tanned and her hair was bright red. Her shirt was baggy and lazily tucked into her belt. This was Amare, she was close friends with the Captain and usually the one to find me. "Hey Zi! Need a job by any chance?"

"Why do you think I'm wondering around here?" a small smile fell across her face.

"Good! We need a couple more crew members, they don't stay long," she joked, taking my arm and dragging me to the ship. It wasn't large, it could only hold about 10 people, and currently there were only four people apart of the current crew.

Emily was the Captain, she was missing a leg due to falling of her fathers' ship and getting the lower half of it chomped off by a shark. Alun would usually just look out for navy ships ams warn the rest of the crew. He was tall and quiet, scary sometimes. Jade was the medic, she always wore a bright blue necklace that she said helped in her healing process. Then of course, Amare. She was like a glue that held everything together, she could calm everyone down in seconds and make sure everything was in order.

"Emy! I found Aiza!" Amare shouted and placed me in front of Emily.

"We can work with five for now, we can stop at Blue Grove for some rest and avoiding that fleet that keeps following us." Emily whipped back around towards the helm, Alun untied the ship and we were off to Blue Grov.

~~

Masterlist!

[ramblingsof-astridkai]

Character Introduction!

A short introduction to the characters in Mystic Main Sail! My first post said the story follows four pirates, but there are 6 main characters. This doesn't include the families or ther side characters that will be mentioned. I will do a separate post for each character, because most of them have a lot of backstory.

Aiza James

She is (my profile pic) a lonely woman who was occasionally hired to work with Danear's crew, or sell rum to sailers passing by in the small village she lived in. She only began to work permanently with Danear when she could no longer pay to live in a rented room in the bar.

She hasn't seen her biological family since she was 10, she had ran away to live on a small, barely functioning, sail boat with a woman who had found her crying near the docks. The kind woman, who went by the name Estelle, gladly took the position of Aiza's mother. Estelle tried to teach Aiza as many lessons as possible with metaphors and the like, however Aiza never took them seriously.

The rest of her story takes place in the story Mystic Main Sail!