ranger-of-estel - Tumblr blog

ranger-of-estel · 1 month ago

Note

Ooohhhh....#15 for CC, pretty please?

"I think in every reality, I still find you."

Okay, so this got SO away from me, but I couldn’t stop. I was gonna leave this super angsty, but I just kept going. Hope you enjoyed this, as it’s consumed me for the past few days.

(If you really want to drive in the pain in the first section, feel free to listen to Hurts Like Hell by Fleurie, because it was on repeat.)

You can also read this on AO3, since it’s so long.

---

Hadn't Sara been through enough?

It was a trite and selfish thing to say, but honestly, hadn't she? She'd died, twice. Been resurrected. Lost her father and sister. Lost good friends. Lost futures and hopes and me-and-you's, and wasn't that enough? How much more was she expected to go through for sake of fate or the Powers That Be or just cruel cosmic humor?

But here it was again. Another cut to her already shredded soul.

They'd landed at Earth...72? 73? She'd lost track, even if Gideon hadn't. They'd been following a Waverider signal through the time stream, and ended up here. As they landed by the signal, they saw another version of their ship.

“Another one?” Nate asked with a sigh.

“Like calls to like,” John muttered, taking a hearty swig from the flask that had taken the place of his cigarettes.

It wasn't their first encounter with another version of themselves, so Sara had braced herself to look in yet another funhouse mirror of how her life could have gone. It was just the three of them this time. Mick was visiting his daughter, Behrad and Zari were with their parents for a while, and she and Ava had broken up. To no one's great disappointment.

When an older version of herself had walked out, her right hand a metallic prosthetic, her hair shorter, and face weathered, Sara had smiled and opened her mouth to say something about how she was glad she was still a badass.

But then an older Leonard Snart walked out behind her, putting his hand at the small of the other Sara's back with intimate familiarity. The words died away in her throat and her smile had dropped immediately.

She'd avoided the other Leonard as much as possible, helping to fix the ship while Nate and John assisted the other team with their aberration, but when she took a break in the cargo hold, sitting on the bottom steps with her chin on her knees, he'd found her.

He sat on the stairs next to her, one foot on the ground and the other propped up on the step above it. He leaned his elbow against his knee, his body tilted toward her. It was so familiar, yet so different, and she felt another small cut.

Sara held her breath, but already the smell of his cologne—still the same—had permeated the air and her throat got tight. Swallowing past it, she stared straight ahead.

"So," he said lowly, his voice a comforting ache, like a bruise she couldn't keep from prodding, "how'd I die?"

She opened her mouth but the words wouldn't come.

Leonard stared at her, seeing more than other people, as he always did. "Was it Hunter shooting me while he was brainwashed? Or Scudder from the Legion?"

Sara heard the small variations on his timeline, but just shook her head. He continued to wait, and Sara knew his patience was greater than hers.

"The Oculus," she said quietly.

"Ah." He looked away, and Sara felt like she could breathe again. With his eyes not on her, Sara couldn’t help but gaze at him. The clothes were similar, but a t-shirt beneath the jacket instead of a sweater. Fewer layers. Fewer walls. He was older, certainly, his hair more silver than black, the lines at his eyes more pronounced, but so were the ones around his mouth. Laugh lines, from a life of Snart smirks and the low chuckles she still heard in her dreams. His eyes flickered, but he didn’t look at her, as if knowing she’d look away if he did.

He fidgeted with the silver band on his ring finger, and it knocked the breath out of her lungs to realize it was a wedding band. She was married to him here.

“You took that on in this timeline,” he continued after a moment, his eyes still on his ring. “Told me to leave you behind. That you’d been living on borrowed time as it was.”

How she wished she’d done that. If she’d just moved faster, or responded quicker, maybe she could have had this, instead of the gaping loneliness.

“First time we kissed, and I thought it was going to be our last,” Leonard continued, and this time he did look up.

The blue eyes hit her like a freight train, heavy with knowledge and affection and love...She wanted to look away, because it wasn’t for her, not really, but she couldn’t bear to. She wanted to be selfish, to take what little she could get from some other reality’s Leonard, while her own was dead and gone and lost, and so was she. She was treading water, losing more and more every year until she thought it would just be her on the Waverider, alone, until there was nothing left at all.

“It was,” Sara told him.

He nodded, his eyes half-hooded as he looked down. Slowly, he reached out and took her hand in his, giving her time to pull away should she choose to. She wanted to run, she wanted to laugh it off and walk away and never look back, she wanted to wrap herself in his arms and pretend, for just one second, that this was hers, despite knowing it wasn’t and never would be—

So she let him take her hand and ignored the feeling of her heart breaking all over again.

His fingers were warm, weathered with callouses from weapons and Gideon’s guidance system, and years of things she didn’t know. It was strange and not, perfect and wrong, how easily his hand linked with hers, as if they’d done it a million times, yet feeling like the first.

“You told me to run,” Leonard said. “You were going to hold the bomb. I couldn’t leave you. So I froze your hand, shattered your arm, and dragged you back to the ship.” He almost smiled. “You were brave enough to die for me, but I wasn’t brave enough to go on living without you.”

Sara didn’t know when she’d started gripping his hand tighter. “I couldn’t save you,” she whispered.

He gave her that crooked, almost-smile that had been her Leonard’s bread and butter. “If I was the one dying, there was no other way out. Trust me.”

She could feel the guilt in her stomach, the sourness in her throat that she’d gotten used to over the years, but it didn’t lessen with his words. “I looked for you.”

“I know you did,” he said, no trace of disbelief in his expression and the smile fading. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you to find.”

She almost laughed at that, but her eyes were starting to mist over. “I found you. I think in every reality, I find you. But it’s never the right you.”

She pulled away and he let her go, just like she’d let him go, her hand slipping off his arm as he stayed behind to save her life. Leonard watched her as she got to her feet, putting space between them, because this wasn’t fair, and she knew life wasn’t fair, but she’d had enough.

“I've had to find and lose you again and again. To time, or death, or just someone else, and I can't—I can't keep doing it," she admitted finally, the words ringing in the cargo bay. “I can’t keep looking up to see you staring back at me, when it’s not really you.”

Leonard got to his feet, no trace of the smile left as she wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself together, and breaking all the same.

Her voice shook as it rose. "So many different versions of you. You're a hero, or married, or the Waverider’s AI, or a mayor, or—" She gestured to him now, "—captain of the Waverider."

"Co-captain, actually," he corrected, with forced casualness. A sign he was uncomfortable or hurting, and she couldn’t tell the difference. She used to be able to, but she couldn’t tell anymore.

“‘Co-captain.’” She made a sound that might have been a laugh, were it not for the tears that choked it. "That's just...perfect," she finished, the last word little more than a whisper.

And it was perfect. It was the life she hadn't known she wanted, until he'd walked out into the ramp and stood by a different version of her, showing her everything she could have had, if time and fate hadn't been so cruel.

How could she miss a life that was never hers to begin with?

“You’re all those things,” Sara said, not even sure why she was still talking, because it didn’t matter, it never mattered, “and I care about you every time, but you’re never…”

“Yours,” he finished for her.

She stared at the wrong version of Leonard, that was so close to perfect, so close to being the one she’d been looking for in every face of every Leonard she’d met. He was so close, but it wasn’t him. He wasn’t the man who’d died for her. He didn’t know her. Not this her.

But maybe it was because he was so close and still not right, that something that she’d kept locked away for years started to shatter. Tears spilled over her cheeks and Sara found herself gasping for air as she sobbed in the cargo bay of some other Sara’s Waverider. Some other Sara who’d found her crook and she wouldn’t let go, even if he told her, because she had the perfect life and she knew better. She’d done better.

Leonard took a step forward towards her, his arms half-raised, as if he was going to hold her, wrap her in his arms and lie to her and tell her things would be alright, that he was there for her, but her Leonard was gone and she couldn’t—

Sara turned away from him, shaking her head. “Don’t. Please.”

He paused, and in a broken voice she’d never heard from him before, he said, “Sara.”

The tears came faster, hearing that, and she backed further away from him. If he touched her now, she’d never— “Just...just leave.”

Like all the rest had left. All of the ones who weren’t hers, and the one who might have been.

She could feel him staring at her, but she didn’t turn, didn’t bother to even try to stop the tears, because there would be no stopping this, now that she’d started. And eventually, slowly, reluctantly, another Leonard Snart walked away from her, back to the life he belonged to.

Leaving Sara alone again.

---

Leonard hung back as the crew of the Earth-1 Waverider left. He didn’t say goodbye to any of them, but lingered at Gideon’s computer, typing in some coordinates and charting a path. He merely nodded at John and Nate, and watched as Sara, hollow-eyed and pale, but standing tall, led her crew back to her ship, and took off.

His Sara, his wife and co-captain and everything in between, came toward him. He took a moment to look over the face he’d loved for eight years, marking the things that had been the same on the younger Sara’s face. The scar on her chin, the color of her eyes, the curl of her lips. But his Sara was missing the steely strength of the other. Not to say his Sara wasn’t strong, but she had a partner to fall back on when things got tough. He was always there for her, and vice versa. He kept her from getting too serious and she kept him from being too cynical, and they were balanced. Fire and ice, she liked to joke. The other Sara had a team, but it was different.

“You okay?” Sara asked.

Was he okay? He’d just had to watch a woman he loved (because there was no version of Sara that he wouldn’t love) completely break in front of him, and had been unable to do anything about it. There was nothing he could have said to fix it, and he knew now that trying to hold her as he held his Sara would have only made things worse. But how could he not try?

For a moment, he tried to imagine being in her shoes. To have lost Sara before they were anything real, and had wrong versions of her paraded in front of him, only to have all of them walk away in the end.

“No,” he finally answered, running his hand over his face. “No.”

Arms wrapped around him from behind, and he felt her press her cheek into the space between his shoulder blades. He covered her hands with his and just held her for a moment. Reminding himself that he hadn’t lost her. That they had this life, and it was good.

But now, there was a tiny piece of guilt that came with that thought, and it looked like a younger version of Sara crying and turning away from him.

Leonard looked down at Sara’s wedding ring. “What would you say if I suggested something insane?”

She shifted slightly, obviously guessing where his thoughts were focused. “I’m a fan of insane.”

“Can you call Hunter?” he asked, finally letting her go and turning to face her.

“Hunter,” Sara repeated, arching a brow. They'd had minimal interaction since they’d blown up Hunter’s Time Bureau after the Bureau had put a mark out on the Waverider, her crew, and Hunter himself. Hunter hadn’t been pleased, but he’d appreciated the save nonetheless. “Must be insane.”

She glanced past him to the computer, reading the coordinates easily. “The Oculus?” she asked.

“If it’s outside of time and space,” Leonard started.

“Then it might be outside of reality,” she finished, his equal in all things. Her eyes lit up. “So you think—”

“Like calls to like,” he murmured.

“I’ll make the call.”

---

“This is insane,” Hunter said, his single eye staring out of the Waverider and at the Oculus. “We risked everything to destroy this, and you drag me back here—”

“First off, Sara risked everything,” Leonard interrupted, remembering why he’d been so thrilled when Rip had left to run his own doomed Bureau. “And you didn’t have to come. You answered my questions.”

“Theory and reality are two very different things, Captain Snart,” Hunter said.

“Like your theory of the Time Bureau?” Leonard snarked at him.

Hunter flushed in anger, “You’re a real piece of—”

“We’re here. Let’s go,” Sara interrupted, cutting her eyes at both of them in warning.

Hunter left the bridge first, muttering.

Sara caught Leonard’s eye and her glare faded into a smile. “Twenty minutes he’s been aboard, and you’ve already pissed him off.”

“I’d say the fact it took twenty minutes shows remarkable self-restraint on my part,” Leonard answered, stealing a kiss from her before falling into step together and heading towards the jumpship.

He didn’t like being here any more than Hunter did, not that he’d say anything about it. He hated what the Oculus had done to the team, what it had nearly done to Sara, and, not that he’d say it, what it had done to Rip and his family. But if there was any good to be had from it, Leonard was more than pleased to be the one to tear it out of this monstrosity.

They landed outside of what was left of the Wellspring, and Leonard saw Sara take a deep breath before stepping off the jumpship. He caught her hand with his, his other hand on his gun, and they walked in together, as they did all things.

The blue glow from the Wellspring confirmed the first of Leonard’s theories; that they’d merely destroyed the Time Masters’ leash, not the Oculus itself. He squeezed Sara’s hand and then let go, stepping up to the edge.

“If you feel any oddness, Captain Snart, make sure to break the connection immediately,” Hunter reminded him, the irritation gone from his voice in the face of the immense risk they were taking. “We can pull you out, but only if we know there’s a problem.”

“I’ll know,” Sara said, and Leonard believed her.

Part of him wanted to back out now. To feel pity for the other Sara, and wish her the best, but he shouldn’t have to risk his life, with his Sara, for someone else. And it was a convincing part. He didn’t owe her anything.

But he looked at his Sara, who would have done it in his stead, in a heartbeat, and knew that he owed her—every version of her—everything.

So he gave her a wink, and stepped up to the blue glow of the Oculus. It extended in a column of light above them, breaking through the roof of the Wellspring and into the sky. He flexed his fingers, closed his eyes, and reached out.

It was a cacophony of light and noise and sound, every timeline, every possibility, every moment and second and eternity ringing in his head. He gasped, the feeling of billions of memories and futures ringing through his skull.

“Relax,” he heard Hunter saying, somewhere forever and just a few inches away. “Let him come to you.”

He felt a hand on his shoulder, a grounding force, and he turned back to the wall of time, and stopped trying to make sense of it. He just allowed himself to be carried along. Soon, the voices became familiar. He heard the voice of Hunter. Mick. Lisa. His foster brother, Barry Allen. His father. Ray Palmer, his college roommate. Sara.

“Leonard Snart,” he called out, though he wasn’t sure it was aloud.

A murmur, then his own voice was mixed in. Things he’d said, or would say, or might never say, not on his Earth, at least.

I’m a criminal and a liar, and—

—throw away the plan.

Sara-Sara—

We own half the city—

—look good in white.

—if I die before Ray and I get married—

—were you running from?

—things I didn’t do that keep me up—

Leonard focused. “I’m looking for the Leonard Snart who got himself blown up.”

Oh, the Russian—

Alright, I won’t tell you.

—robber of ATMs!

“Carefully, Mr. Snart,” Hunter warned.

“That you?” Leonard pushed, feeling Sara squeeze his shoulder. He couldn’t help his thoughts from drifting slightly, and whatever he was speaking to seemed to pick up on it.

And me—

For better or worse.

You go ahead. I’ll—

What’s it like? Dying?

—and you.

“Gonna assume you’re the right one. You there?”

—wasn’t like—

—first prison—

—don’t do feelings—

“...how?” The voice was thin, far away and shaky, but it was an actual voice. Not a memory or a future, but a voice. His voice.

Leonard grinned victoriously, reaching a little further. “Lots of reasons that don’t make sense. But you aren’t dead, not really, so get back here.”

“C—can’t. Tried.”

“I’m here now. Try again.” Maybe Sara hadn’t been able to find him because she hadn’t been able to connect with him.

“Won’t w—work.”

“Try again, you coward,” he ordered. It was himself. He could do that.

“W—why does it m—matter?”

“‘Cause I’ve got a Sara Lance who’s looking for you.”

“Sara…?”

“Yes. So get your crooked ass back here.” He wasn’t sure if it would help, but he thought about Sara in the cargo bay, crying tears for this voice, this Leonard Snart. The right one, finally.

Something in the Oculus bent and shook. It convulsed, and Leonard held out his hand further, feeling Sara clutching his shoulder and Hunter grabbing onto his arm, but he reached and reached, and thought of Sara, not the one behind him, but this other Snart’s Sara—

“I looked for you,” she’d said.

Something grabbed his arm and Leonard pulled and—

There was a burst of light and Leonard was thrown backward, along with Sara and Rip. Dazed, and feeling the beginnings of a spectacular migraine, he propped himself up on his elbows and looked back to the Oculus.

And Leonard Snart looked back at him.

It was strange, seeing himself. It was definitely him, but also not him. This Snart was younger, and Leonard felt a moment's envy for the darker hair and smoother face. His black jacket was almost the same, but with a thick sweater on beneath. His eyes were bluer, nearly matching the Oculus behind him, but they scanned over Leonard with a brittle calmness, even as his hands shook and his eyes were glassy with pain. He looked over to where Rip was getting to his feet.

"Eternities in the Oculus and yours is the first face I see?" Snart said, exhaustion almost slurring his words. "Haven't I suffered enough?"

Leonard laughed, hearing Sara do the same. He looked over to her, and she shot him a relieved grin.

Rip shook his head, exasperation and awe obvious on his face. "Glad to see that some things never change, Mr. Snart, regardless of reality."

Snart wasn't paying attention. His face had turned towards Sara when she laughed. Despite Leonard’s outward confidence, he knew there’d been a chance that this Snart wouldn’t actually be in love with Sara. He would have been insane not to be, but it was still a chance.

But from the way he was looking at Sara now, Leonard knew that he didn’t have to worry.

Snart took a step towards her before his eyes darted back to where Leonard was getting to his feet. He looked again at Sara, obviously noticing the differences between who he remembered and the woman in front of him. Sara came over to Leonard, putting her hand on his arm, meeting his eyes. Leonard smiled back at the love of his life, then looked up in time to see Snart’s expression clouding suddenly as he averted his gaze. Leonard took pity on him.

“You’re on the wrong Earth,” he told him. ”Your Sara’s a bit further away. But we’ll get you to her. First, let’s get back to the Waverider. You can get a shower and some sleep while we get in touch with her.”

“Why?” Snart asked, his voice suspicious.

Why was he helping him? Why were they doing this? Why did he matter so much?

Leonard brushed off his hands and met Snart’s gaze. He’d learned enough from the brief information Gideon had given him about this Earth-1 Snart. His father hadn’t died in the emerald heist, but gone on to turn into a cruel and abusive man. This Snart had landed in juvie weeks before Leonard and Lisa had been taken in by Joe West and given a proper home. This Snart had to fight for every single thing he’d been given, and had still died to save the people he cared about.

Leonard met the eyes of the man who, but for a few steps of his father, could have so easily been him. He saw the walls and the ice and the suspicion, but behind all of that, he heard the sound of his voice when he’d said “Sara” in the Oculus.

They weren’t so different after all.

Leonard stepped forward and held out his hand. Snart took it, calluses nearly identical, and Snart almost managed a smile. Leonard leaned in a bit and said, “‘Cause in every reality, she’s looking for you. I think it’s about time she found you.”

Snart nodded, some of the tension leaving his shoulders, and in its place a tired hopefulness. “I agree.”

“Peachy.”

---

Leonard Snart, the criminal, Earth-1, resurrected Leonard Snart, looked in the mirror, and met his own eyes for the first time in…

Well, a while.

He stared at his reflection, half unfamiliar with it. He thought he looked the same. Same lines on his face, same hair, same expressions. But his eyes looked...bluer.

The Oculus had been forever, and no time at all. He’d lived a thousand lifetimes, and yet the feeling of dying had just faded when he heard his—the other Leonard’s—voice, calling out to him. Calling him back. Luring him with promises and half-memories of—

He stared at his hand, flexing his fingers, the feeling of being alive, of being physical, something new and familiar. Running his hand over the sweater that Gideon (again, not his Gideon, but something close) had fabricated for him. The sensation of something, anything, against his skin was new. Old. Half-remembered.

There was a knock on the door, and it slid open after a moment. Leonard lifted his gaze to look in the mirror, and met Sara’s eyes.

It took his breath away for a moment, seeing her, despite knowing that she wasn’t...the Sara he had known. There were obvious differences, even aside from the metal hand. The shorter hair, the lines on her face, the scar below her eye. Those were new.

But other things weren’t. And the way she looked at him was…

“All in one piece?” she asked, leaning against the door like the Sara he had known had done a hundred times before, with a deck of cards in her hand and a smirk on her face.

“Far as I can tell,” he said, his voice still sounding a little loud in his ears.

Hers lowered, as if she could sense that. “Glad to hear it.” She moved into the room a little more, her eyes still on him, despite him not turning around. “We sent a message to Captain Lance. Let her know we needed to meet her, but didn’t tell her why.”

“Why not?”

“‘Cause my Len likes to make an entrance,” she said, giving him a smile. “As I’m sure you do, too.”

She wasn’t wrong, but Leonard didn’t answer. Something about the way she’d said ‘my Len,’ with an emphasis as if he belonged to someone else.

He had hoped, and still did, but he wasn’t sure…

A kiss could be a lot of things. A thank you. A goodbye. An invitation. A promise. A future. He’d seen all iterations in the Oculus, and tried not to hope.

“She misses you,” Sara said, moving far enough into the room that he had to turn from the mirror to keep his eye on her. She went to the desk chair, running her hand along the back of the jacket that he’d hung there.

Leonard resisted the urge to shake his head, to deny it.

“Trust me, Snart,” Sara said, sounding so much like his memory, that he couldn't help but listen. “She wasn’t faking those tears.”

That broke and built him up in the same moment. The fact that she’d cried over him. The fact that she’d cried over him. He looked away for a moment, picking up the jacket she’d been touching and sliding it over his shoulders. “We’re friends.”

“So, the fact that Len knew your Sara had nothing to do with pulling you from the Oculus?” she asked. He looked up and she arched her brow at him. “And don’t bother lying to me. I know all your tells by this point.”

Right. Because this Earth’s Leonard Snart had married Sara Lance. “Wasn’t denying my feelings,” he said slowly instead.

An eternity in every conceivable timeline had made it obvious what he wanted. But he’d seen many times where they hadn’t ended up together. And this could be one of them. He couldn’t admit to it, because admitting it opened him up to pain, and he couldn’t...

“Then let me give you some insider knowledge,” she said, leaning against the desk. “There’s no Earth where I don’t love you.”

“I’ve got experience that says otherwise,” Leonard murmured, fixing his cuff.

He jumped when her hand landed on his forearm. Save for when the other him had pulled him out, it had been a long time since he’d been touched by anyone. In fact, before then, it had been Sara, pulling away from their one and only kiss, and leaving him with the sight of tears in her eyes.

“She loves you, Len,” Sara said, insistently. “So don’t screw it up by being all noble.”

“I’m not—”

She smiled up at him, and it was so like old times. “You are. Just when it’s convenient for you.”

He almost smiled back at her, but she wasn’t...the Sara he’d known, even if it felt like she was so very close.

Sara squeezed his arm gently, then let go. Her hand slid off of his arm with another burst of painful familiarity, and he dropped his eyes to the ground again. Sara hesitated, but took a step towards the door, to leave him alone. But it was then that Leonard realized he had one question, which he desperately needed to know the answer to.

“How?” he asked suddenly.

Sara stopped and tilted her head a bit, looking back at him.

He moved his eyes to her hand, pointedly looking at the ring. “How did the two of you...find each other?”

How did they take the chance? Keep taking chances, to get married, to stay together and fly together? How had they made it work, when the two of them (four of them?) had enough issues to fill an airport?

How had they made it work when he hadn’t?

She smiled, a soft smile that he’d only seen on his Sara’s face a few times, and moved closer. Close enough that he could smell her perfume, a faint, slightly floral scent that Sara had worn the night she'd asked him to dance. She leaned in and kissed his cheek. Leonard held his breath, trying not to move, because for all that it felt right, it was also off, just by a degree or two. His skin tingled as she stepped back, that same smile on her face.

“I stole a kiss, and told him that whatever else happened, it was me and him.”

She took a step back, her blue eyes tracking over him quickly and her smile widening into a grin.

Leonard arched a brow, curious about the joke, and she laughed, “Much as I love my Len, it’s nice to see the younger model again.”

The door opened behind her. “I heard that.”

The other, older Leonard Snart walked in, his eyes dancing with an openness that made Leonard look away. But he glanced back when he saw Leonard hold out his hand to Sara, her fingers slipping between his easily, and Leonard allowed himself to hope, if only a little bit.

“We’re about to land,” Leonard told him, meeting his eyes. A weight sat there, like he knew what Leonard was feeling. Perhaps he did. “You ready?”

Leonard met his eyes—his eyes, and not—and nodded.

---

Sara resisted the urge to send John in her stead to the meeting with Earth-73’s (74’s?) Waverider. She was the captain, and they’d asked for her, but it was still very tempting. Instead, she landed the ship, told John and Nate she’d be back in a bit and walked off alone.

It had been a week since she’d seen them, though she wasn’t certain how much time had passed for them. When she’d sent the message, Sara hadn’t sounded upset or overly concerned, so hopefully it wasn’t anything pressing.

The forest she’d picked was just reaching the start of winter, and Sara was glad for her coat. There was the faint shimmer of another Waverider landing, so she waited at the edge of her ramp until it settled down a few yards away. She forced herself to start walking and tried to manifest the hope that she’d just have to talk to Sara.

Were they coming to try and help her? Tell her everything would be alright? She hoped not. Hopefully, she knew herself well enough to know it wouldn’t change anything.

The other Waverider flickered into view, the ramp lowering. Sara kept walking, stopped a few feet away from the edge of the ramp as the door opened up.

Sara and Leonard walked out, hand in hand, and Sara wanted to curse at them. At him. He knew how much it hurt and he was just flaunting it in front of her? At the same time, she didn’t begrudge them a single second together, because what she wouldn’t give for one more moment with—

A third figure stepped out behind them, and Sara’s heart stopped as she looked at Leonard Snart.

She knew it was him. Her Leonard. She knew it, though she couldn’t say how. Something in the way he walked, the way he carried himself.

The way he looked at her.

He walked down the ramp without saying a word, stopping a foot away from her, meeting her eyes. They looked bluer, just a bit, but perhaps she’d forgotten, and that somehow made the impossible hurt in her chest ache even more.

Leonard glanced between her eyes, not smiling, and out of her peripherals, she saw his hands fidgeting slightly, but she was terrified to look away from his face for even a second because maybe he wasn’t actually here and she was just—

“Heard you were looking for me, assassin.”

His words washed over her, like slipping into a hot bath after a cold winter’s day, it burned for a moment, hurting almost more, then something in Sara just gave.

She lifted her hand, then hesitated, because if he wasn’t here, if it wasn’t him, she wouldn’t recover this time. Her fingers shook, and she reached out, placing her hand on top of the leather jacket he’d died in. The material was cool, but beneath it, she could feel the thrum of his heartbeat, real and alive and here—

Then Leonard covered her hand with his, warm and a perfect fit, and gave her that small smile, and it was meant solely for her, just for her, and Sara couldn’t hold back anymore.

She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him as if she could someone pull back together all those missing years, and part of her worried that she was holding too tightly or moving too quickly. But he was hugging her back, his arms around her and his fingers digging in as if he was afraid she’d slip away. And she was talking, half-crying, and he was answering and trying to explain, but everything was muddled and confused and perfect—

“I looked for you.”

“I know, I saw things, sometimes—”

“I want back to the Oculus, but you weren’t—”

“—I couldn’t, not until he pulled me out.”

“You are a hell of a thief, and I love you—”

“—love you, and it’s me and you from now on.”

“Len,” she said, and she pulled back enough to look him in the eye, but it only lasted a second before he was kissing her, or she was kissing him, and it didn’t matter who started it, just that they were. He kissed her like he’d spent the years he’d been gone thinking about it, and she kissed him just the same, and if he felt the tears on her face he didn’t say anything. He just kissed her harder, and held her tighter, and Sara loved him more for it.

She felt his fingers in her hair, and she pressed closer, the future as clear as a path laid at her feet. Sara would know the taste of him better than anything else, and she’d learn all of his scars and tell him all of her stories. She’d learn how to shoot his gun and she’d teach him how to use her staff, and they’d be co-captains, flying through time forever. She knew that they would talk and fight and travel and work together, and it would sometimes be messy and painful and not perfect, but she knew it could be done, because—

Sara pulled back a little, not letting go, but breaking the kiss so she was able to look at the other Leonard and Sara, who were still there, their eyes averted, but grinning nonetheless. Sara’s eyes were glistening, but Leonard was merely smiling, and Sara could see where the laugh lines came from. Would come from.

“You found him,” Sara said, still holding onto Leonard.

The other Leonard shrugged. “Like calls to like.”

“Why?” she asked them.

When he looked at her now, with the same affection that had made her flinch away last time, she merely compared it to the way her Leonard was still looking at her. She knew he’d done it because he did love her, every version of her, just as she loved him in return. He gave a small shrug, as if he hadn’t changed her life in a way she’d never be able to repay, even if she had a thousand lifetimes to do so.

“What can I say? I’ve got a weakness for badass blonde assassins.” He turned to look at his Sara, and she grinned back up at him. “We’ll leave you to it,” he said, tearing his eyes away from his wife and turning back to this ship.

“No,” Sara said, still holding onto her Leonard, “you can’t just leave. How can I thank you? What can—”

“Don’t worry,” Leonard said, his Sara grinning next to him. “If we need you, we’ll find you.”

They left, that Leonard and Sara. Together, hand in hand, they walked onto the Waverider and back to the life they belonged to.

And on the ground, Sara and Leonard stood, together, ready to start their own.

#fanfic #captain canary #in every timeline #Me & You

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