ravingxfxbrickxwall

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Anyone else tried watching Ginny and Georgia a few times but could never get into it because it hits you right in the ✨ mommy issues ✨

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I have been denied so many things as a child that I now as an adult deny myself

I look baffled at my parents when my siblings have permission to do things I was denied

To say no

To not rush

To not have anxiety when something is not done immediately for them

So,

This time

This time I'll be selfish

I'll choose myself

My love

My happiness

My life

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Calypso saying “I don’t regret loving you but I hate that I fell in love with you”

That unrequited love?

That hurts like a bitch

Listen I’m not going to debate on her actions but those words? For anyone who has had unrequited one sided love for whatever reason? Those hurt like a hell

I know for a fact I have felt those emotions too

Hating someone because you fell in love with them without the reciprocation?

That hurts

When you see them aching and yearning for someone else?

That

Yeah

Welcome to the club Calypso

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And people assume your words and you shrug them because you can always say “I never said it. You assumed my silence said it”

To be an eldest child is to swallow all the words you have ever wished to speak and all the emotions you ever wanted to express.

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“But you’re ___. Why wouldn’t you want to marry within your community?”

It’s because I grew up in this community and the bar being nonexistent that I refuse to marry in. I will find someone myself

I will marry the one I love whose not a part of this community

I love you dearly but my desperation to be free is greater than my love for the community I was raised in

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The abuse doesn’t have to be physical to want to leave

Sometimes, being in the same situation for so long makes you desperate to get out

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I don’t even celebrate Christmas but manifesting this energy for grad school admissions

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As someone who is in their second grad school application cycle, I refuse to look at Reddit, the spreadsheet and gradcafe. I’m not going to dishearten myself

I did the best I could

I applied early

I reached out to PI

I polished it and was happy with what I did

The ball is in their court now

I choose my peace

But I’ll just check my emails and spams whenever I can

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Me refreshing my emails and grad school portals hoping something would change

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This is me towards PhD Admissions Committee

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Lesson #2 in Grad School Application: Fee waivers

Okay, this is not a lesson. I knew this before when I was doing my research

You need to request fee waivers to programs even if you don’t “qualify” for a fee waiver based on the fee waiver criteria on their website. Trust me, I have emailed programs that said they only offer domestic students fee waivers and they have granted me a waiver.

Or you attend their virtual talks and sessions where they waive your application fee (not always! Some do like Mount Sinai and Emory)

If you request a waiver you’ll have one of the following outcomes.

1. Approved!

They’ll immediately waive it on their website and no further action is required

They’ll waive it and give you a code to punch in with an expiry date the same day as the application OR the expiry date would be 10 days before the actual program deadline.

2. Denied!

Nothing you can do about it. It is up to you if you still want to applu

3. Additional information required

Some schools will ask for further information whether they grant you a waiver or not. For instance, You’ll need to explain how you’ll be able to support yourself in the Grad Program if you can't pay for the application fee.

Please, do not ask people on Reddit for fee waiver codes and do not give your fee waiver code. More often then not, a specific fee waiver code is linked to a specific application and it will come and bite you in the neck.

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Lesson I learned as a 2nd Time Grad School Applicant #3

Start Early

I know I didn't the first time. It takes time to differentiate a personal statement, research statement, statement of purpose and even a diversity statement.

So as a 2nd time applicant I am so scared for people applying to Biological Sciences PhD and asking for help and guidance now especially for SOP and asking for the difference between Research Statement and Personal Statement because you are in a time crunch now

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Lessons in Grad School Application #1

Disclaimer: This is based on my personal experience and journey. This may only be applicable to those applying to Biomedicine PhD in the US. Take with a grain of salt

I have seen a lot of people on Reddit going "Roast my CV" and its always 1 to 2 pages long. Now I know everyone is not applying to the same program. Biomedicine CV - unless specifically instructed - do not have to be 1-2 pages long. Academic CV are comprehensive. They contain everything related to your field that you have done ranging from research to teaching experience and even volunteer work if relevant. Personally, my CV was 6 pages long. I had faculty members and students in my programs of interest look at it and said it was fine. They said it actually was helpful that I provided them with a full picture.

Note: This will be a multipart series because I don't have the time or energy to compile them in one go right now

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I have been lurking on the Gradadmissions Reddit thread and WHY ARE YOU ALL ASKING PEOPLE TO HSARE FEE WAIVER CODES

I understand, application fees is a menace but most codes are either for those who requested it - and it will be linked to your account - or you got it by attending one of the Universities events. Please people. I am begging you

You can get into serious trouble

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As someone who is applying to PhD programs for the second time, I learned my lesson of what not to do😂

So when I see people on Reddit ask about PhD programs to apply to (with a December 1st deadline) I’m so stressed for them😭 please don’t make the same mistake I did

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Some days I’m tired of trying

Tired of applying to jobs and schools across the globe

Maybe it’s not meant to be

But everytime I think of giving up, the dread of being stuck in here fills me that I don’t want to dread living this life anymore

I want to go home

Even though I have never known what home truly is

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One of the insanely amusing things to me is when people get up in arms about is that one of Tengen’s wives is his cousin. I get why people are appalled but as a person of colour, I have seen that happen in so many cultures where you’re married to your cousin or if you’re from the same community or tribe. I can’t speak for everyone and I do understand where people are coming from. However, marrying your cousin is more common in some parts of the world then others