rystarkov - Tumblr blog

rystarkov · 1 year

Text

i know that look

ellie williams x reader

i haven’t written fanfic in SO LONG if this sucks i’m forever sorry. Pure angst! Pure slow burn, unrequited love, Joel being the father figure we all deserve, angst!

It was her eyes that you first fell in love with.

They are the most beautiful shade of green, reminding you of all that’s good in the world. You couldn’t pinpoint when exactly you fell in love with the immune girl, but it’s as if your life was dull, purposeless before she showed up like a saint, dragging you out of the darkness and into the light. She may have looked to the Fireflies for hope, to Joel, and hell now even Dina, but she had always been yours. Your life began when the auburn haired girl introduced herself to you at the QZ, defending you against a bunch of bullies who made fun of you for being a terrible shot. Ellie gave the main bully a black eye when she saw you in the corner crying because of their harsh words, vowing to do it again if they ever made fun of you in the future. Ever since that fateful day all of those years ago, Ellie has become the center of your universe. You guys did everything together. From sneaking out to the mall after hours (which stopped after the incident with Riley, where you found Ellie in shambles and somehow not infected) or having secret sleepovers in her room before the guards did their rounds in the morning, you two were inseparable.

You travelled halfway across the country with Joel and Ellie, and as the journey came to a close, you chose to settle with them in Jackson rather than leave your best friend after everything that happened. When you three first moved into the makeshift town, as normalcy tried to creep up on you all, some members of the group were having more trouble settling in than others. Joel was a natural, more than excited to make new memories with his brother, Tommy, and to continue to be a father to both you and Ellie, in an attempted normal, community setting.

You, on the other hand, could not. sit. still.

You couldn’t figure out why, this is everything you have ever wanted in life. A home, a family, and most importantly, to have both of these things with the person you valued and cherished the most. You had your own room, choosing to live with Joel in the main house while Ellie eventually moved to stay in the now converted garage of the same property. You were so used to being with Ellie all of the time, you didn’t know how to function properly in a room that was entirely your own. The first night after Ellie moved to the garage, you snuck out and knocked on the door, not even fully realizing what you were doing. Your mind was on autopilot, simply wanting to be as close as possible to the one person who brought you comfort in a world that was designed to kill you, both mentally and physically. Ellie opened the door, giving you the softest and most adorable smile, familiar with your routines that you both have developed over the many, many years you have spent together. She simply opened the door, let you in, and you both fell asleep in the late hours of the morning, too engaged in laughter and comfort to drift off and let the night come to an end.

That was a few years ago, with a different you and a different Ellie. Now the person that fills that spot is Dina, a spot you used to visit every single night, for who knows how long.

Ever since that sudden shift, when Dina snuck up on you and Ellie both, you decided to distance yourself. You didn’t even realize you did this, it’s almost as if you were mentally preparing yourself for the divide that still refuses to go away, the divide that refuses to bring her back to you.

It was the night of the party at the bar, where almost the entire town decided to show up, relax, drink a little or a lot, and experience some sense of normalcy for once. You stood by the edge of the counter in the corner, quietly sipping on some sort of bubbly alcohol you didn’t know the name of, nor did you care to find out. Joel was kind enough to keep you company, the two of you being more alike than you thought, preferring to drink in silence and sit back and observe the party rather than try and join it.

Joel said something, and to this day you have no idea what he said, voices and sounds muffling as you stare in horror at the picturesque scene unfolding in the center of the dance floor.

It was Dina and Ellie, in their own little world, with Ellie’s arms wrapped tightly around Dina’s middle, Dina tucking a loose strand of hair behind Ellie’s ear. Even as the music gets louder, as the drunken yells and laughter of town citizens engaging in conversation erupt from around the room, they never break eye contact. Ellie is smiling, a genuine, happy smile, and you feel your cheeks get a bit warm and your eyes get a bit prickly as the realization of you never making her smile like that hits you like a punch to the throat. As much as you want to look away, as much as you need to look away, you simply can’t. The person you have spent a third of your life with, possibly even more, the one person that you thought would be a constant in your life, is falling in love with someone else. Someone else was an idea you never factored in, someone else was never a thought you considered.

You feel a sudden pressure on your left shoulder and the warmth of a taller figure drawing you in for a side hug. You don’t even have to look up to know it’s Joel, rubbing his hand up and down the side of your arm as you bury your face into his chest. He knows, he’s always known, as no “friend” willingly travels halfway across the country for just anyone, no “friend” almost dies multiple times just trying to get someone to a single destination. He’s been there with Tess, he’s felt that with Tess, and he knows that look better than anyone.

“I got you, kiddo. I got you.” You silently sob into his chest as he turns you around to face the corner, placing himself in front of you, making you hidden away from the world and any curious looks from the townspeople.

“How long have you known?” You hear yourself ask, in between all the hiccups and sniffles of your own long tucked away, long concealed feelings for who you thought was just your best friend.

“Since David. You had always been Ellie’s quiet sidekick, the one who found us supplies and extra ammo when we were running low. When the whole thing with David happened, I had never seen an ounce of anger on your little face before, and then all of a sudden a switch flipped, and you took out his entire squad and refused to stop until Ellie was found. The look on your face when we found her, how you held her and refused to let go, I’ll never forget. Ellie is my daughter, I had my reasons for protecting her and bringing her to safety, but you? You’re in love, kiddo.”

He wipes the tears still streaming down your face and hands you a napkin, sitting you down on a chair while pulling up another for himself.

“I know that look because I’ve given that look and gotten that look from Tess, my…”

He stumbles on his words, looking down at his feet, causing you to reach out and grab his hand for comfort.

“I know.”

He looks up at you, a soft smile etching his face, and continues.

“I know that look because I’ve been given that look.”

You sniffle one more time, looking over Joel’s shoulder and seeing Ellie and Dina in a peaceful, euphoric bliss, completely unaware of the young woman and the destruction of her heart in the corner of that very same room.

“I didn’t know, Joel. That’s what makes it even more pathetic, I didn’t even fucking know it myself.”

Joel gives you another sad smile, excusing himself to get you some water, while you sit and watch as the love of your life falls in love with theirs.

Part 2 maybe?? Let me know??

#ellie williams #the last of us #joel the last of us #joel miller #ellie the last of us #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams one shot #the last of us part 2 #ellie #ellie williams x you #ellie williams x y/n #tlou #tlou part 2 #tlou2

73 notes · View notes

rystarkov · 2 years

Text

Jealousy, Jealousy (Part Four)

Hi everyone! I hope you all enjoy part four! The gif above is who I picture in my head for Evie (Anya Taylor-Joy in New Mutants) but of course you can imagine Evie as whoever you like! In case putting a face to a character makes it easier for you, here you go:) Warning: Part Four is mostly a filler chapter before they finally reunite, but I hope you like it! It features Kate Bishop from Hawkeye, as well as Sam and Bucky as Evie has become an Avenger during her time away from the Eternals:) enjoy!

2021

PRESENT DAY

NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK

“Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!” I hear around me as I shotgun a glass of tequila (definitely dangerous, but hey it’s my fake birthday). I start screaming and begin to jump up and down as the awful taste and burning sensation of alcohol consumes my throat.

“That’s my girl! Happy birthday, Evie.” Kate says, clapping me on the shoulder as we do our signature handshake together. Bucky rolls his eyes as Sam laughs with us and downs his third and final shot of tequila, coughing as the taste of the shot finally sets in.

“How does it feel to be 21? Oh wait, you’ve been 21 for centuries now! Happy birthday, old lady.” Sam says sarcastically as I roll my eyes and drunkenly give him a one armed hug goodbye.

“Thank you for that, Sam! Your sarcasm is always appreciated. Aren’t you the one who asked me to make up a fake birthday so the thought of me never aging wouldn’t creep you out anymore? Anyways, thanks for coming out tonight! Get home safe!” I say, almost stuttering and slurring that entire speech as I hug Bucky goodbye.

“Are you joking? We are Falcon and Captain America! No wait, we’re Captain Falcon and American Soldier! Wait, Sam help me out here. What are we again?” Bucky laughs as Sam looks at him in genuine confusion.

“Come on, big guy. Let’s get you home. Night ladies! Get home safe and call us when you get home.” Kate and I erupt into a fit of giggles as we grab some karaoke mics and sing them goodbye while they walk tiredly out the bar doors.

The night goes on without any problems, no creepy old men or any weirdos. Kate and I sing about a dozen Britney Spears songs, wrapping it up around 1:00 A.M. and then begin our drunken journey of walking back to my apartment for the night.

“Come on, try it! One foot in front of the other, girl. Move! I want to sleep.” Kate giggles as I keep trying to trip her while we walk on the sidewalk.

Everything around me is spinning yet I’ve never felt more light on my feet. The music from another bar across the road fills my head with its heavenly sounds and before I even realize what my intoxicated body is doing, I’m skipping down the sidewalk.

“Evie! Slow down! I be too drunk, m’lady.” Kate says, as I let out the ugliest cackle I’ve ever made in my life.

“Evie?” I hear a familiar voice say as I slam into a tall wall. Maybe a wall? I don’t actually know, I was skipping with my eyes closed.

I trip over my own feet as I take a step back, but somehow Kate manages to catch me before I fall on my ass. I look up, still giggling, but then quickly stop as I realize who all is in front of me.

“Sprite? Oh my God, Sprite! Oh, how I’ve missed you!” I screech as I throw my arms around them, lifting them up off the ground in pure, drunken happiness. Kate is still standing behind me in shock, as she might be thinking she’s already passed out and participating in a weird alcohol induced dream.

I hear laughs behind Sprite as I put her back down, screeching once again as I realize that Ikaris, Sersi, Kingo, Thena, Gilgamesh, and some dude with a camera are all standing in front of me in amazement at the drunken state that I’m in.

“Karun, cut the cameras! Ya know, we have been coworkers for thousands of years but not once have I ever seen you drunk. Is everything okay at home?” Kingo asks jokingly, as I beeline for him and hug him around the torso.

“Oh, everything’s perfect! I’m so happy you guys are here! Kate and I were just heading back to my apartment to order food! Would you guys like some? Don’t worry, on me! I make Sam always pay for it anyway.” I say excitedly and quickly grab Thena by the hand as she tries to snatch it back. I ignore her and grab it again, practically dragging her down the street and start singing the song playing from the bar across the street as I go.

“Evie, I am going to need you to sober up immediately. Something really horrible has happened and we need you to come back with us. I’m sorry to your friend in advance, but we have to go. Now.” Sersi says sincerely, grabbing my shoulders and keeping my somehow energetic self in place.

I turn around to look at Kate and she looks at me, and then we do the one thing that is definitely not helpful to the situation. We burst out laughing.

As I’m wiping the tears away from my eyes, I hear Ikaris groan in frustration as Sersi looks to the others for assistance.

Next thing I know, I hear Kate gasp in shock as I feel a blunt force to my head and then everything fades to black.

———————————————————————————

It’s been a day since my horribly embarrassing drunken encounter with everyone, and I am still feeling the shame (as well as the pain) of my past as I am forced to visit Druig and his compound in the Amazon today.

I am literally feeling my shame. As in, I am still very hungover and wearing sunglasses to nurse the massive headache I have had since I woke up.

Sersi kindly filled me in on everything that has happened since we disbanded, including the rise in Deviant attacks across the world and Ajak’s death. I woke up crying because of my hangover, and then I cried some more over the loss of one of the only parental figures I had ever known. Oh, and the world is ending in ten days.

I couldn’t bring myself to call Kate, or Sam, or even Bucky, who have dealt with situations like this before. It might be selfish of me, but I want them to enjoy their last days on Earth without the fear of everything they know and love crumbling before their very eyes. I know that we can most likely stop it, but we unfortunately need Druig’s help first.

I can’t say that I’m excited, but I also can’t say that a sad part of me isn’t not excited to see him for the first time in five hundred years. I hate him, but I love him.

Simple, right?

He left me stranded, confused, heartbroken, but most of all angry. He held my heart in the palm of his hands that fateful night, yet still willingly crushed it to dust with each step he took further and further away from me and what could have been our life together.

I have never hated someone as much as I hate him, but I have also never loved someone as much as I care for him and his safety, which is why I agreed to come on this horrible and excruciatingly painful trek into the Amazon.

“Evie, I know you’re hungover, but at least try to keep up. You’re walking slower than the old ladies I help walk across the street.” Kingo says as he turns to the camera and winks, with Karun giving him a thumbs up in approval.

“Kingo, what did you say you do for a living, again? Act as Ikaris and never as yourself?” I say sharply, picking up the pace to catch up and see the priceless look on his face.

“Burn!” Gilgamesh says as he high fives me, and I even hear Thena laugh softly as we continue walking. It feels good hearing her laughter and seeing her smile again after all of these years.

“I see that your horrible manners haven’t developed over the many years you’ve spent in human society. Karun, cut that one out please.” Karun nods, and then reaches into his bag to put his camera away.

“So, Avengers, huh?” Sersi asks as she moves to walk alongside me, giving me her signature soft but sincere smile as we move forward.

“Surprisingly, yeah. They’ve been like family to me ever since the Ultron attack in Sokovia. I’ve lost a good few of them over the years because of the snap and Thanos, but if anything we are all closer because of it.” I say sadly, brushing my hair behind my ears as a nervous tick. Sersi reaches down to grab my hand and gives it a sweet but firm squeeze.

“I always knew you had it in you and I’m proud of you, Evie, I really am. I’m sorry for your losses, but I’m really glad we were brought together again. I missed you terribly in London, I had to deal with Sprite and her sarcasm alone.” She giggles, looking back at Sprite to see her bickering with Kingo. I turn around and smile at the sight before my eyes. I love my human family, but I can’t help but feel completely at home with my fellow Eternals once again.

“I heard you have a new boyfriend.” I wiggle my eyebrows as she shoves my shoulders and laughs.

“How the hell did you hear that? Weren’t you too busy saving the world and avoiding Druig?” She says pointedly, and my smile quickly drops.

“Druig and I are, I mean, used to be best friends. I think he’s an ass and if I never see him again, I’ll be relieved.” I hear Kingo scoff as Sprite laughs, making my eyes flash blue as I turn around to glare in anger.

“I think you mean to say he’s a fine piece of ass, right?” Gilgamesh jokes as him and Kingo laugh loudly at my expense. I roll my eyes and turn back around to continue walking.

Boys, right?

“Will you all be quite? We’re almost there.” Ikaris says, ever so stern, as he gives Sersi a pointed look, causing her to clear her throat awkwardly and continue walking.

We walk in silence (minus the occasional vlog from Kingo) for another mile before my stomach unexpectedly drops. I can sense him, and I immediately stop walking as the realization hits me.

I’m about to see Druig for the first time in five hundred years and I don’t think i’m mentally prepared at all. I haven’t practiced my mental block in centuries, as I haven’t been around another mind reader since working alongside Druig. I don’t want him inside my mind, and I especially don’t want him to know that I’m still pained by both his absence and his lack of love.

We enter the clearing and I look around, my eyes quickly darting from person to person out of pure anxiety and fear of seeing him again. However, nothing seems odd or out of the ordinary. Everyone is working, laughing, cleaning, cooking, and doing normal daily activities. Kids are running around and people are gardening, in fact, it looks kind of peaceful here. There’s no sign of Druig, which both calms me and makes me want the ground to swallow me up.

I see Sprite ask someone where Druig is in Spanish, and I start choking on my own spit out of shock at her Spanish skills. Sprite is talented at many things, but Spanish is not one of them.

“Hello, Sprite.” I hear, and I immediately launch myself behind a tree, getting some weird looks in the process before their eyes flash gold and they all turn forward to look at the rest of the eternals. I hear the doors of the main house open and footsteps crunching leaves as someone walks towards the middle of the clearing.

I nervously peek around the tree, and immediately want anything to take away the embarrassment I feel. I want a Deviant to snatch me and drag me away to literally anywhere else. I want a meteor from outer space to choose me and smash me into the Earth so I can get out of this awful, anxiety inducing situation I put myself in.

Why, you ask?

Oh, well Druig and his entire community are staring directly at me, with that stupid (but sexy) smirk of his.

“My beautiful, beautiful Evie. Did you miss me?”

131 notes · View notes