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Mammon x recovering $uc!dal reader

Warnings/info: angst, fluff

You were in the worst place of your life before you came to the Devildom. To be honest you still feel like you’re in the worst place of your life.

Finally things were starting to get better and you were all of a sudden whisked away to a new environment and it was hard.

It had been about 2 or 3 months since you arrived at the Devildom, you were still adjusting still learning, but hey at least you had a pact with one of the strongest demons in the devildom right? Even though that fact didn’t really help your mental state.

It was your suicide attempt anniversary today. You had made it to another year and just because you were in a new environment it didn’t mean you couldn’t at least try and celebrate that you’ve made it. So you decided to just have this day to yourself, you went and spoke with Lucifer so you could have a day off for yourself, you got your favourite food, you bought yourself flowers, Levi had figured out how to connect your Human phone to your DDD so you printed out a picture of your younger self and created a little altar in your room for yourself, so you could mourn on what had happened.

Placing a candle in-front of the picture, sitting on the floor, you scratched the match against the match box making it burst with a tiny flame and you held the flame to the candle wick watching as it started to glow. You were stuck in your own head, lost in a trance of just trying to feel better but that state of disassociation was quickly broken due to the fact that Mammon had just barged in to your room and your head quickly snapped back to look at him. “What are you doing?” You questioned, concealing the slight tremble in your voice. “H-hey ya Mc! Didn’t realise ya were gonna be home today…”-*He replied fumbling over his words like an oaf, he totally wasn’t coming into your room to see(steal) your valuables. “Watcha doin home?” He questioned a bit confused on seeing the candle and the altar on the floor infront of you(he was honestly thinking you might be turning into a witch. “I asked Lucifer for a day to myself.” You replied calmly, you realised you had to keep yourself together because it’s be a bit awkward breaking down infront of him. “Oh, oh ok..well uhh I’m playin hooky.” He responded rubbing the back of his neck looking down at you. “So are ya..are ya like getting into like witchery or somethin cuz like.” A bit caught off guard with what he was saying you realised what this little ritual you do for yourself can be seen as weird. “Oh no…no no no this is not what you think it is.” You explained. “Well what is it?” He questioned. “It’s just something I do to make myself feel better.”

“Oh ok…” He hummed trailing off with his words thinking on what to say next. “Mind if I join ya?” He questioned. “No, no I don’t” was the simply reply you could give. He sat down next to you settling himself with his legs crisscross looking at the little altar you’ve set up. “So who’s this?” He asked, it was an innocent question really, I mean compared to the picture of yourself when you were younger to what you look like now is quite different. “It’s me.” You hummed in a somber tone looking at your once child self. “Oh..ya looked different, y’re a kid in this photo.”-*He said picking the photo up, which was kind of annoying to you, but you let it slide since he didn’t know. “What is this weird thingy meant to represent?” “It’s a memorial”

“For y’rself?”

“Yep”

“Oh”

It seems he kind of knows what’s going on now, maybe it’s Mammon.

“So what exactly is the memorial for?”

“For my younger self.” You breathed knowing you’d have to elaborate. “It is for my younger self because of all the shit that I went through, for how tired I was and sort of like an apology to my younger self for my own self destruction.” You explained trying to keep your voice steady as he put the photo back and you were just looking at your younger self now, you looked so innocent, so sweet, you didn’t deserve what happened to you, you never did. Mammon started to realise why you took the day off and he saw the tears stinging in your eyes as you tried to explain to him why you’re doing this but he cut you off. “It’s good, treasure..” he said simply, wrapping his arms around you, squeezing you tight, your hand grazing hesitantly against his arm as you held back onto him.

Moving to the Devildom was hard, what you’ve went through is hard, but at least

You have the demons you’re in a pact with.

Your first.

This is my first time writing a fanfic I hope you liked it, I’m sorry if it’s a bit shit, it is based off something I do for myself every year and I just thought I’d write it out with Mammon being able to comfort us about this topic.

This is your daily reminder that you are so worth it and keep going you’re doing great❤️

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FINISHED PIECE

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Very proud of this bc I managed to do it in one layer, I will post one with a background but I’m nervous to do the background on the same layer so I’ll do it on a second layer(it will most prob be an imported image from Pinterest bc I suck at drawing backgrounds😭)

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MY QUEEN

The lesbian in me is so real when looking at her😍

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Finished piece of last post sorta changed it up, I did use one of @damnatiomemoriae4 post as reference